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AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? Me and Diomara (12F) have had a rough summer. She's been more defiant than usual. I've been dating her Mom Mara (30F) for 2 years now. 9 moths ago, they moved in with me, Maple (33M). Both Dio and Mara have an on again/off again relationship with Dio's Dad (Dynasis). He's pretty much never paid child support, comes and goes as he pleases into Dio's life. Typical lovely-rear end part time Dad. I've tried to fill the Dad role in her life, while still understanding boundaries, taking things slow, etc. This summer Dynasis decides he wants to be a real Dad and takes Dio in for a month. Good for him, not my business, and Mara agrees. When Dio came back home because school started she was a lot different. Really mean to me, very dismissive. A few days ago she got caught shoplifting at the mall. Security took her in then called Mara, who didn't answer, then called Dynasis, who didn't answer, and finally me. I answered. They told me I had to pick her up or she'll be handed over to juvenile. I didn't say anything to her while I picked her up. I apologized to security, apologized to the store. I even tipped the security guards plus the store employees because its hosed up they had to deal with that. I assured them Dio would be punished appropriately. I'm speaking to her in a strong, affirmative, voice while we're in the car. NOT yelling, but in a fatherly tone, I suppose. I'm telling her how hosed up it is to steal, and how I dont gently caress with thieves, and how I absolutely don't voluntarily gently caress with any kind of police so I don't appreciate any of this nor will I accept it in my house. She snaps back that I'm not her Dad so don't ever tell her what to do. From now on, if I wanna tell her something I need to clear it with her real father first. That killed my soul. For the past year or so, I've treated her as my own daughter. I've paid for their housing, I've paid for her moms car, her schooling, her food, everything. Her bio Dad dropped $100 check off one time in the past year. The fuckin check bounced so I had to call him up and he brought cash over. I told Mara about all of this. She was appalled at what Dio said, but she never made Dio apologize because "she's not wrong, you're not her Dad." A couple of days later Dio asks me for some money to pay for her uniform/accessories she needs for a sport she's involved in. I say go ask your Dad. She scoffs and says her Dad doesn't have the money for it, so I have to pay for it. I tell her...I'm not her Dad so don't ever tell me what I have to pay for. She cried to Mara, who tells me I'm not being an adult about the situation. Mind you, I never received an apology or a thanks for our entire previous situation. Mara says Dio is a kid and I need to stop acting like a kid too.
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Sep 22, 2019 10:26
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You either want the guy to be the kids dad or you don't. Which is it?
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Sep 22, 2019 10:30
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I recommend singing "I wont make her apologize to you because you arent her dad" as a big showstopper number as you pack your bags and leave in what is the act 1 of your life.
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Sep 22, 2019 10:43
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Runcible Cat posted:Honestly, I can believe it's a possibility. I've got a pair of cousins, a few years apart in age, who call themselves each other's stunt doubles because people so often mistake them for each other - even one of their boyfriends once that I know of, though that was in the pub rather than a pants-removing situation. They don't look identical when you see them together, but when you see one of them it's not unusual to have to look twice to make sure which one she is. "tolerates" as in that conversation was definitely her telling him to stop doing it
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Sep 22, 2019 10:51
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? Who is the adult here? Oh, nobody? cool
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Sep 22, 2019 11:18
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? -Mom of a daughter who’s 100% committing another crime within three months.
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Sep 22, 2019 11:22
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Miss posted:Who is the adult here? I mean, it's probably already too late, but the point remains Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 11:36 on Sep 22, 2019 |
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Sep 22, 2019 11:33
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? This dude is a petty rear end in a top hat but the boyfriend seems like backup for the ex (who will be drop the second bio dad decides he wants to be a family man) Like it’s expected for the kid to be sort of lovely with her being 12, but you can’t expect your partner to take up all the burden of being a dad and expect them to be ok with placing a deadbeat over them when it comes to all the decisions DrManiac fucked around with this message at 11:49 on Sep 22, 2019 |
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Sep 22, 2019 11:39
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I mean the ship hasnt so much sailed as gone aground with all hands on board lost
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Sep 22, 2019 11:47
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"Sorry, honey, but she's right: you're not her dad. She doesn't respect you as a father figure and frankly neither do I. Now cough up the cash for her Tennis uniform, you handsome ATM, you. Why are you getting mad?"
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Sep 22, 2019 11:53
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this kid is 12 years old sit down with her and talk about what the current family situation is, explain that you want to be part of her family but that it's a 2-way street and see if you can make that work; if it doesn't then I think you're also sinking your relationship with your girlfriend, so be prepared for that. step dads are a thing that kids have been dealing with for forever, you're not the first one to get reminded in a rude way that you're not their biological parent and you certainly won't be the last "gently caress you, 12 year-old girl" aren't the right words to use, instead of doing that you should act like a parental figure and if your girlfriend isn't giving you that kind of support then it's time to pack your bags
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Sep 22, 2019 12:15
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QuarkJets posted:this kid is 12 years old Yeah but imagine what a badass you'd look like on the internet though when you roast her little head clean off with the perfect comeback.
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Sep 22, 2019 12:33
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chemtrail huffer posted:How do I (M19) put my arm around my new girlfriend (F18) if I have really short arms? This is some Yahoo Answers poo poo, and I dig it.
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Sep 22, 2019 12:33
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/r/relationships - I told the 12 year-old to gently caress off
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Sep 22, 2019 12:43
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snergle posted:my friend has to wrestle a girl around this age and its 100% lose lose. you win youre the douche who beat up a girl you lose and youre the dumb gently caress who lost to a girl. my sister had a judo match against some dude at that age and he just went whole hog and shattered her collarbone. gently caress it whatever
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Sep 22, 2019 12:51
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The White Dragon posted:my sister had a judo match against some dude at that age and he just went whole hog and shattered her collarbone. gently caress it whatever Equality. 
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Sep 22, 2019 12:58
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? Sounds more like he's the only one in that family that's working on upbringing.
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Sep 22, 2019 12:58
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I had a lady friend in high school who was in a few martial arts, she would've been pissed if her opponent had gone easy on her at competitions just because she was a girl.
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Sep 22, 2019 12:58
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? IT WAS ME, DIO!!!!!
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Sep 22, 2019 13:00
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You know what a 12 yr old girl needs when she has a kind of not there mom and a lovely father? Another adult to fail her. I said some truly reprehensible poo poo around that age to my parents and loved ones when I knew something was up with me but couldn’t form it into something I felt others could understand. They recognized it as a sign of something deeper going on, and was there for me, helped me out, instead of stooping to my level. If she’s shoplifting at 12 with an iffy support network, especially from her biological parents - she loving needs help, not to be shoved down further. Something is UP.
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Sep 22, 2019 13:10
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good thing the OP hasn't failed her by showing relationships are about the needs of two people, not one
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Sep 22, 2019 13:30
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You can’t step up as a dad if the girl’s mom goes “ you’re not her dad” after you had to fix a mess both the parents dropped the ball on.Dude should just sever because the relationship will always be like that.
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Sep 22, 2019 13:40
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:You're loving dumber than a Fox News viewer. There's a huge difference between touching your partner when you wake up to initiate morning sex and groping him/her while they're sleeping on the couch in the middle of the night without so much as a glance at their face, hoping you can gently caress them before they wake up to tell you to stop.
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Sep 22, 2019 13:54
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I'm honestly surprised more people haven't brought up the high likelihood that he knew it wasn't his wife, but wanted to see how much he could get away with using that as an excuse. If you read stories of "the time that guy I thought was trustworthy started groping me in my sleep", them claiming they thought it was their partner is like the #1 go-to when they're caught. Sometimes it's convincing enough that it might actually be true, but often it's a really blatant lie.
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Sep 22, 2019 14:07
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Tjadeth posted:I'm honestly surprised more people haven't brought up the high likelihood that he knew it wasn't his wife, but wanted to see how much he could get away with using that as an excuse. Yeah this is likely the case to be honest. The whole scenario seems really plausible, but this is reddit were talking about so Also judo kid is hosed either way so he may as well beat some rear end
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Sep 22, 2019 14:17
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:Yeah this is likely the case to be honest. The whole scenario seems really plausible, but this is reddit were talking about so Especially given "So my wife’s sister is staying with us because she’s getting out of a relationship and her husband kicked her out." She's single and emotionally vulnerable and easily accessible, so she's a target. I might buy that someone might squeeze a buttcheek from behind out of mistaken identity. But you don't get to removing someone's clothing without noticing its a completely different person. If it started that way, he made the decision to keep going even after realizing it.
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Sep 22, 2019 14:25
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Xik posted:Trigger warning for any mums itt This right here? This is a family that needed to be vastly more proactive about birth control, because neither of them wants a second kid.
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Sep 22, 2019 14:32
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Dienes posted:Especially given "So my wife’s sister is staying with us because she’s getting out of a relationship and her husband kicked her out." She's single and emotionally vulnerable and easily accessible, so she's a target. The way I read it, he didn't realize she was staying with them until after this thing happened, but that's 50/50 a lie. The guy seems scummy for sure
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Sep 22, 2019 14:33
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Antivehicular posted:The 17-year-old boy is also a swimmer, which I think is the perfect conjunction of "black hole for any and all food in the vicinity." Three servings of a wedding buffet seems positively moderate. My 19-year-old was on swim team all through high school and yeah, it's very polite of the kid to stick to only three trips e: lol I should learn to refresh threads before posting
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Sep 22, 2019 14:34
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for telling my GF's daughter she's not my daughter so don't expect me to pay? I love these because they're a perfect rorschach for people to blow big steaming loads of projection onto Personally I want to believe this is just some mgtow fanfiction
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Sep 22, 2019 14:38
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Antivehicular posted:The 17-year-old boy is also a swimmer, which I think is the perfect conjunction of "black hole for any and all food in the vicinity." Three servings of a wedding buffet seems positively moderate. Yeah, it seems people think this is some fat slob of a kid, when in all likelihood he is a fuckin ripped swimmer that needs 4000 calories a day to function (he had TWO swim practices that day ffs)
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Sep 22, 2019 14:41
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Overwatch Porn posted:apparently; my husband gropes me in my sleep all the time and because I love him and am attracted to him I have no issue with it since it often leads to super satisfying morning sex Hmm that's almost like that's the difference here 
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Sep 22, 2019 14:51
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Araenna posted:Is it common for people not in the wedding party to get professional hair and makeup for a wedding? Is it because they're family and would be in the photos? This is a money thing. 10 to 1, the groom comes from money, and spending on appearances like that is socially expected.
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Sep 22, 2019 15:05
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Mooseykins posted:Why do you find that troubling? I was up too late and was making a joke that I thought worked in my very tired state, but it wasn’t actually related to anything currently being discussed in the thread, so it didn’t really work and then I fell asleep immediately after posting it. sorry for the confusion
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Sep 22, 2019 15:35
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:I was up too late and was making a joke that I thought worked in my very tired state, but it wasn’t actually related to anything currently being discussed in the thread, so it didn’t really work and then I fell asleep immediately after posting it. sorry for the confusion Fwiw, I laughed
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Sep 22, 2019 15:52
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:I was up too late and was making a joke that I thought worked in my very tired state, but it wasn’t actually related to anything currently being discussed in the thread, so it didn’t really work and then I fell asleep immediately after posting it. sorry for the confusion She's not buried in my backyard, if that's what you were wondering. She's still alive and bitching, in Florida.
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Sep 22, 2019 16:05
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Mooseykins posted:She's not buried in my backyard, if that's what you were wondering. She's still alive and bitching, in Florida. yeah that was the joke sorry for implying you norman bates’d your ex
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Sep 22, 2019 16:10
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DrManiac posted:You can’t step up as a dad if the girl’s mom goes “ Honestly he should dump her because he couldn't even muster a "but in every other way our relationship is perfect" and if you cant even fake it that much youll never convince the mob that you arent two schlubs from Chicago, youre actually lady musicians.
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Sep 22, 2019 16:30
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:yeah that was the joke Nah it's cool. I was kinda tempted to post "plot twist: she's buried under my porch" She's cool, just hypersexualized and always horny. It seemed fun at first but i don't have the stamina for that.
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Sep 22, 2019 16:33
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The White Dragon posted:my sister had a judo match against some dude at that age and he just went whole hog and shattered her collarbone. gently caress it whatever I'm not familiar with judo or the risks involved. Naturally people get injured by accident in this sort of thing, but is that something that can just happen or some Cobra Kai poo poo?
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Sep 22, 2019 17:19
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