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Do you have local Facebook group you could ask re babysitters? We’ve also used the Bambino app. We generally pay $20/hr for HS grads, less if they’re still in HS and more if they’re college grads (up to $25/hr). But we live in an expensive area. I’d also pay on the lower end if baby’s gonna be asleep most of the time.
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Sep 21, 2019 19:29
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BonoMan posted:Yup he's exclusively breastfed. He's also sleeping fine and doesn't act even a bit uncomfortable. All smiles and laughs. And rotten veggie farts all day. Our paediatric nurse says if exclusively breastfed, up to two weeks between poops is still fine. But you wouldn't like it come cleanup... ("Up to his armpits" is a term I've heard used.) Formula babies, a whole 'nother story. Their parents should always worry about constipation.
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Sep 21, 2019 21:19
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How do you guys deal with inlaws who don't listen to you? They don't listen to my husband either. The only headway we've ever been able to make in changing their minds has been getting my older SIL to intervene. This is on a variety of issues, not just baby related. For example, my baby has very dry skin and eczema. We've been following the doctor's instructions (using unscented baby lotion and aquaphor on top of it, occasionally a mild steroid when things get really bad) for dealing with it but she still has some red patches. This has been driving my MIL nuts and she thinks I'm just... not taking care of my baby. And she's always trying to tell me what to do about it, and most of her suggestions involve putting oil on the baby's skin. Once before I could stop it an aunt put castor oil in her hair... I've tried telling them that we are following the doctor's instructions and to please leave the baby alone. Today she put vaseline on the baby's arms before I could stop her, from a jar she had in her purse. Like the kind you'd just stick your fingers into while you're out to moisten your lips or whatever, not anything solely dedicated to the baby's use. Now I know that vaseline on its own is harmless and I may be a little more germaphobic than most, but I was still really upset that she didn't even ask me before doing this. It's not just the vaseline. I've repeatedly asked my inlaws to wash their hands before touching the baby, and they don't, I've asked them not to kiss her on the face, and they don't listen, and they don't tell me when they're sick so I don't even have the informed option to not bring my 15 week old baby to see them. My husband agrees that we shouldn't let them watch the baby unsupervised but all of these things have happened while we're there. The only thing I can think of is to tell them that if they can't respect our wishes concerning how to interact with the baby they can't see her at all, although this feels like a nuclear option I would rather avoid. But they really don't listen at all. My husband will tell them something and they nod and smile and then just do whatever the heck they want anyway. There is a language barrier between me and them to some extent, but not with my husband.
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Sep 22, 2019 02:48
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When it comes to your baby's health, especially following doctor's advice/orders, the answer is right there in your postquote:tell them that if they can't respect our wishes concerning how to interact with the baby they can't see her at all I understand being reluctant to take that choice. But if they're not listening about this, what else are they going to not listen about?
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Sep 22, 2019 03:31
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re: in-laws you'll eventually have to give them the ultimatum of not seeing kids, so sooner is better. but also pick which battles you want to make that stand on. safety issues, like following doctors orders, and not telling you when they're sick, aren't something you should compromise on. but your kid is going to interact, and be taken care of by other people soon, and you'll have to be flexible on your preferences. i deal with this with my in-laws when they see my kids. they're certain the way they raised kids is the only way anyone should, and that any modern science is bullshit... until i flipped on my mil for leaving stuffed animals in a 3 months old bed at night, and threatened to never have her in my home again. i am clear is something is a preference though... i know they give them more sugary foods than i want, and buy toys, and clothes we don't want, but that's not going to hurt my kids, and they're little things that make my in-laws feel good.
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Sep 22, 2019 03:32
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Our basement is basically just full of unopened toys from grandparents.
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Sep 22, 2019 03:36
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With my in-laws, we don't have this type of problem, but my mom just wouldn't listen when it came to SIDS prevention. She'd let her sleep on her back etc, but whenever she was putting baby to sleep, she always insisted on putting an extra "comforter" blanket with the baby in the bed or pram, touching her cheek, because "it will make her sleep better". Even covering her mouth sometimes! I told her in no uncertain terms why we don't want her to do that, still she persisted. I'm still pretty pissed about it. My solution? We didn't really resolve this between ourselves yet. We live across the country from her and various issues have prevented us from visiting lately. Baby is now 10 months so risk is lower, but I'll have to address it sooner or later and I'm sure this attitude will surface again with regard to something else. I think the situation requires a very deliberate conversation where we as parents make it clear how she makes us feel when she doesn't follow our rules about important things. I might still have to use the nuclear option, but I really don't want to make that threat because I'm not sure what would happen to our relationship if I were to follow through on it.
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Sep 22, 2019 07:32
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I have to admit I'm a tiny bit jealous ..wistful...? of the over-exuberant gifting grandparents. My parents buy nice clothing for my 2 year old nephew all the time and have basically clothed my 16 year old nephew his entire life, because my sister, despite earning 6 figures, does not buy her children clothing. She's never liked clothes shopping for herself and it's apparently just not on her radar, and eventually my mum took over wardrobe management for the boys. Then there's my husband and I, who are full time students but make a point of ensuring our son is dressed nicely in clothes that actually fit him - we don't really get anything. My mother dropped ~$150 on clothes for my nephew and then as an afterthought got my son a pair of pants. I say all that but I would also be mortified if my son didn't have clothes that fit him so I'll take responsibility and giftlessness over being unable to manage the bare basics of clothing my child.
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Sep 22, 2019 12:07
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PerniciousKnid posted:Our basement is basically just full of unopened toys from grandparents. Why not donate them to charity? There's always charities collecting unopened toys around Christmastime.
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Sep 22, 2019 15:16
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BarbarianElephant posted:Why not donate them to charity? There's always charities collecting unopened toys around Christmastime. Well, the theory was that we'd open them gradually during the year, but we mostly haven't. We have gotten rid of most of it, I'd say. That's a good suggestion though, we might donate the remainder before Christmas to make room for the new wave.
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Sep 22, 2019 15:26
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how old should my child be before i start singing Manowar to him? Should I start with something a little softer, like Dragonforce?
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Sep 22, 2019 21:20
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:how old should my child be before i start singing Manowar to him? Should I start with something a little softer, like Dragonforce? Through the Fire and Flames was my go-to song for getting my kid to calm down at 2 months old. Just tried it again at 8 months and it still works. From crying to soothed in seconds. She just needs something to focus on.
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Sep 22, 2019 21:29
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wizzardstaff posted:Through the Fire and Flames was my go-to song for getting my kid to calm down at 2 months old. Just tried it again at 8 months and it still works. From crying to soothed in seconds. She just needs something to focus on. protip: starting at like 9 months, for bedtime, sing to them a song they would never normally hear (no regular kids songs). do it nearly every night until they're like two. i had a long drive with my four year old recently, and she was refusing to sleep. so i sang the song and she was out after the first verse. i don't song it at bedtime anymore, but it's ingrained in her now.
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Sep 23, 2019 00:31
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:how old should my child be before i start singing Manowar to him? Should I start with something a little softer, like Dragonforce? I have been regularly playing black metal for my daughter at a reasonable baby volume since birth, she seems to like it. Also thanks everyone for your advice. My in-laws called to apologize today and we will probably have to have a longer talk with them soon. :/
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Sep 23, 2019 00:51
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My daughter will stop crying on a dime if I start up Painkiller by Judas Priest. She loves that song and Superfreak by Rick James. We have a very strange child. Speaking of which, she just turned one. So we've been giving her milk with some of her formula to get her used to milk. However, all poops are sour smelling. Like should be classified as biological warfare. Is that normal when you start introducing milk?
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Sep 23, 2019 01:23
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calandryll posted:My daughter will stop crying on a dime if I start up Painkiller by Judas Priest. She loves that song and Superfreak by Rick James. We have a very strange child. Actually I have never known a baby or toddler that didn't like metal. Especially songs that have a beat that you can jump around to. My 18-month-old is doing her best to mimic growly singers' voices.
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Sep 23, 2019 08:33
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killer crane posted:protip: starting at like 9 months, for bedtime, sing to them a song they would never normally hear (no regular kids songs). do it nearly every night until they're like two. My friend did this, except they used a common kid's song... And it turns out their preschool use that song at every morning gathering! It eventually wore off, but she did almost doze off each morning, at just the wrong time.
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Sep 23, 2019 10:48
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Not my kid, but where I went to take violin lessons last year there was a ~6 yo girl in the slot ahead of me that played a bubblegum pink guitar and sang all the accompanying vocals to her songs in a growly metal voice. That kid is going places. 
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Sep 23, 2019 13:17
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A Game of Chess posted:I've tried telling them that we are following the doctor's instructions and to please leave the baby alone. May I interest you in some lessons in poo poo fit throwing? Preferably, if your husband throws the shitfit, so you don't become the rear end in a top hat daughter-in-law. Maybe fewer "please"s , and more "Don't you loving dare"s and "If you you ever pull that poo poo again I swear to loving god I will break your god drat knees"s I'm not even joking. My parents don't listen either so pretty much all the boundaries in my life that they've learned to respect has been through tactical poo poo fitting. I really don't care if they listen to me just to avoid an argument, no you are not coming close to my baby when you have pneumonia, I don't really care if they stay away to avoid a fight moreso than they have the baby's health in mind, as long as the end result is the same. e: It probably doesn't help that my parents don't think of my son as a human, if that makes any sense? They'll make a big deal about not getting to see their grandson enough, but when they do get to see him, they'll blabber over the same story about their dog that I've heard 4 times before (that happened while I was there and I know firsthand that they got the details wrong) and just completely ignore the baby. They'll hold him a bit but have no interest in knowing what they baby's been up to, the milestone's he's hitting, or about the rough night the poor kiddo's had the past few days. On that topic, I love when people who don't know anything about anything give you advice. Oh man, the baby hasn't been taking a bottle lately, we don't know what's going on. No fever, no teeth are coming in, he's just been refusing to take a bottle in the morning even though we hear his little stomach rumbling. "Oh, have you tried giving the baby a bottle more slowly?" Oh gee, loving thank you, you endless font of infinite wisdom. I would've never loving thought of the novel idea of "feeding my baby when he's hungry". Thank you for your completely unsolicited input! Maybe you can help me out with something else! My baby's diaper is just full of poo poo and I have no idea what to do about it! Woah! Change his diaper! Incredible! I would've never loving thought of it! Renegret fucked around with this message at 13:34 on Sep 23, 2019 |
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Sep 23, 2019 13:23
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If it's not immediately obvious, I'm cranky this morning because 1) Monday 2) Month 8 of having the weirdo baby who doesn't sleep 3) See 2) 4) See 3)
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Sep 23, 2019 13:42
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Renegret posted:If it's not immediately obvious, I'm cranky this morning because Our baby was the non sleeping baby too and to go with your previous post we got questions like "oh do you have the room dark? Is it quiet and soothing?" Etc. No, no, we are trying to get him to bed with strobe lights and throwing him around before bed. Wtf people.
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Sep 23, 2019 13:50
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I think this was the first time there’s actually been any consequences to their actions (we left immediately after it happened, husband was visibly pissed and he usually won’t confront them about anything) so I’m hoping it will improve from here. Maybe. I have a feeling it’s going to be a short lived improvement. He definitely needs to be the one to lay down the law though, they’re from a culture where the sons are beloved and the daughter in laws are just sort of there to provide the babies. That’s not the relationship I’ve historically had with them but once the grandkid was here things definitely degraded. And I don’t want to ruin our relationship completely because there is a nonzero chance that they will be living with us when they can’t take care of themselves anymore. Also in the “would love to strangle people giving obvious advice” camp. And the people telling me to put cereal in her bottle.
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Sep 23, 2019 13:53
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sheri posted:Our baby was the non sleeping baby too and to go with your previous post we got questions like "oh do you have the room dark? Is it quiet and soothing?" Etc. And then they don't believe you when you say you're already doing the obvious. The older I get the more I support being a total rear end in a top hat. You can nod and smile to those people as they'll continue to do it for your entire life, or a solid "no poo poo" will get them to leave you alone for, I dunno, a month or so. I'm tired. I've never known tired like this before in my entire life, I don't have the energy to deal with stupid. On Friday we had a nice day out, but when we got home I was completely unable to function and crashed. What was supposed to be a quick nap turned into a 4 hour sleep, and when I woke up I realized it was the longest stretch of uninterrupted sleep I've had in months. Which worked out, because that night was the night from hell. Our problem isn't getting him to sleep for the night. The problem is staying asleep through the night. And Friday night I was up 4 times with the baby. And twice with the dog.
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Sep 23, 2019 14:13
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Nothing to add except you’re not alone with a non sleeping baby. My five month old is still up every 2-3 hours, and only in the last few nights has had a couple 4 hour stretches. I sleep like poo poo and it takes me forever to get back to sleep normally so I feel your pain. One day these kids will sleep through the night... one day...
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Sep 23, 2019 15:16
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We had a couple of days recently where the kid (15 weeks old) was up every half hour the entire night. Last night she woke up four times and that seemed like a good night’s sleep in comparison. Definitely not alone. The daycare workers keep telling me to mix formula with her bottles so she’ll sleep better even though I’ve been killing myself to only give her breastmilk since the first week when we had to supplement.
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Sep 23, 2019 15:32
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Koivunen posted:Nothing to add except you’re not alone with a non sleeping baby. My five month old is still up every 2-3 hours, and only in the last few nights has had a couple 4 hour stretches. I sleep like poo poo and it takes me forever to get back to sleep normally so I feel your pain. One day these kids will sleep through the night... one day... Is this...is this not normal? My kid hasn’t slept through the night since her 4-month sleep regression, which is now half her life. She sleeps between us in bed and stirs restlessly every 2-3 hours (not always fully waking) until she gets a boob. I’m not sure she’s always hungry but my wife is a lighter sleeper and wakes up to feed her before I can react. I have tried suggesting that I try rocking her first but I think my wife sees it as her duty to soothe the baby with milk immediately if possible. And of course we don’t want to starve her. She eats every 2-3 hours during the day so we thought it would be natural for that to continue at night. Should we be expecting that she sleeps through the night by now? We tried getting a weighted sleep sack; I don’t know if it was just a bad brand (Nested Bean) but it only seemed to make her more restless.
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Sep 23, 2019 15:33
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wizzardstaff posted:Is this...is this not normal? My kid hasn’t slept through the night since her 4-month sleep regression, which is now half her life. She sleeps between us in bed and stirs restlessly every 2-3 hours (not always fully waking) until she gets a boob. I’m not sure she’s always hungry but my wife is a lighter sleeper and wakes up to feed her before I can react. I have tried suggesting that I try rocking her first but I think my wife sees it as her duty to soothe the baby with milk immediately if possible. And of course we don’t want to starve her. She eats every 2-3 hours during the day so we thought it would be natural for that to continue at night. Should we be expecting that she sleeps through the night by now? Eh, I think that can be normal. My kid was still waking up to eat about twice per night until 11 months. I likely could have night-weaned him but I didn't mind feeding him at night since I figured that was less I needed to pump during the day.
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Sep 23, 2019 15:47
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I always put her on the boob when she wakes up. She is capable of putting herself to sleep but it takes forever, and often she will only become more awake. If I give her boob right away I will be up with her for 30 minutes tops, and it buys more time until she is hungry again. My husband has also suggested trying to rock or soothe her instead of feeding, but he’s not the one who has to do it, so she’s getting boob. If you want to give your baby breast milk only, don’t listen to those who tell you to supplement just for the sake of sleep. If your baby is growing fine, there’s no reason to add formula at night. Breastfed babies tend to wake more often than formula fed, but if you’re not comfortable giving formula, don’t. I only feel like the awake every 2-3 hour thing at 5 months is uncommon because literally every other mom I know with babies her age (and younger!) are getting at least 7 hour stretches by now. There was a mom at my lactation support club whose 3 month old was sleeping for 11-12 hours a night uninterrupted. When I was a baby I would sleep at least 8 hours in a row from 6 weeks old, so I was hoping my kid would do the same, but nope. It’s really not THAT bad, but it will be nice when I can finally get a good stretch in.
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Sep 23, 2019 15:48
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I think it depends on the kid and also your tolerance for letting them cry. With my first I fed him in the middle of the night until he was almost a year old, and he was used to this routine and would consistently wake once around 3am. With my second my tolerance for crying was a lot higher so I trained him to sleep through the night by 4 months. He’s had a few regressions but I maintain not feeding him in the middle of the night so he never expects it. And now at almost 11 months he’s basically self-weaning and starting to reject the boob at bedtime (he eats solids like a champ and is 99th percentile all around... which has probably helped in the sleep department)
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Sep 23, 2019 16:35
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If you are going to give an infant breastmilk during the night past the 5 month mark they will continue to wake up every few hours.
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Sep 23, 2019 17:12
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wizzardstaff posted:Is this...is this not normal? My kid hasn’t slept through the night since her 4-month sleep regression, which is now half her life. She sleeps between us in bed and stirs restlessly every 2-3 hours (not always fully waking) until she gets a boob. I’m not sure she’s always hungry but my wife is a lighter sleeper and wakes up to feed her before I can react. I have tried suggesting that I try rocking her first but I think my wife sees it as her duty to soothe the baby with milk immediately if possible. And of course we don’t want to starve her. She eats every 2-3 hours during the day so we thought it would be natural for that to continue at night. Should we be expecting that she sleeps through the night by now? My 3 month old twins will go 10pm to 5:20am a couple times a week, on the other days they wake at 3 for a half feeding and then generally sleep until 7 or 8
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Sep 23, 2019 19:22
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DangerZoneDelux posted:If you are going to give an infant breastmilk during the night past the 5 month mark they will continue to wake up every few hours. This is not true. Some kids may and some may not. Of my two, past the 5-6mo mark one woke up once at night for milk, and the other woke up twice. And my woke up I mean stirred, made a noise, found a nipple, and we all went back to sleep. Maybe 5-ish minutes of awake time?
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Sep 23, 2019 20:04
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DangerZoneDelux posted:If you are going to give an infant breastmilk during the night past the 5 month mark they will continue to wake up every few hours. When she wakes up she is hungry, I can feel that she takes around 3 ounces from one boob with each feeding. Her growth has been consistently off the charts and she is growing out of 9 month clothes. Until her growth slows down and she’s not actually hungry at night, im going to keep feeding her.
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Sep 23, 2019 20:09
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DangerZoneDelux posted:If you are going to give an infant breastmilk during the night past the 5 month mark they will continue to wake up every few hours. Yeah some kids do not take in enough calories during the day for their needs and do need to eat past five months at night. Some don't. This is very much an "it depends on each individual baby" situation and blanket statements like that are not helpful.
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Sep 23, 2019 20:58
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The only thing that screws up our daughter's sleep is not going to bed at her regular time. For some reason my mother-in-law refuses to understand that if she doesn't go to bed at her normal time she wakes up either several times during the night of extremely early.
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Sep 23, 2019 21:54
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Every time my son stays at my parents overnight it takes a full week for his sleep patterns to get back to normal. We've had to stop letting him have him.
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Sep 23, 2019 22:04
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Hmm feeling kind of down, wondering other people's experiences. Our boy is 7 weeks tomorrow and was born full term, but where we were once overjoyed he began smiling big at 4 weeks and used to move his head with ease, I'm starting to feel down after watching some 2 month old development videos. In these videos during tummy time the babies are keeping their heads up with ease and while sitting up are clearly tracking objects from left to right. During tummy time our boy mainly has his head to the side and will only pick it up in jerking motions, but is never stable and looking ahead. And when it comes to tracking objects he will definitely look you in the eye, but keeping his attention with our face or a toy through an arc doesn't seem to happen. I know we are still like a week+ from actually being 2 months, but I feel like we got overconfident with his early progress and aren't giving him enough development time. Anyone have any tips on making something like tummy time more enjoyable, and what were your own experiences?
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Sep 24, 2019 02:25
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For tummy time at least, it just takes a while. Putting a little pillow under her arms helped a lot, and holding a mirror in front of her. My kid is 15 weeks and I would say only last weekend did she start actually holding her head up for any length of time during tummy time rather than screaming or giving up and laying on the floor. Maybe coincidentally she started rolling over at the same time. You can also do it with the baby lying on you on their stomach, she hated that a lot less. And she would get in some head holding exercise when I would hold her over my shoulder and there was something she particularly wanted to look at.
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Sep 24, 2019 02:33
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I wouldn’t get down on the development stuff. Watching twins develop has been a pretty big eye opener. Our girl is way more chatty/lots of range in her crying. The boy is more physical and can hold his pacifier and put it in his mouth. They have both taught each other these things, usually a couple days apart. A lot of the forum reading I’ve done has turned up lots of posts and then updates 2 years later wherein there was 0 issues/concerns.
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Sep 24, 2019 02:38
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Seconding a mirror on the floor as a good toy to keep the kid interested in tummy time. We bought a mirror to strap onto the back seat of the car but never got around to installing it, and the attachment part on the back makes it a very nice freestanding object. Also shaving mirrors for the shower are good for shatter-proof reflections. But also yeah, tummy time comes when it comes. Our kid was “late” per the doctor’s milestones at 2 months; she just wailed whenever we put her down that way or she managed to flip herself over. But eventually she figured it out and learned to love it.
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Sep 24, 2019 03:02
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