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Party Plane Jones
Jul 1, 2007

by Reene
Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/BradMossEsq/status/1177293833853374464?s=19

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funeral home DJ
Apr 21, 2003


Pillbug

Lmao Jesus Christ today keeps delivering.

Keep it up September, you’re like an Olympic track runner on a mix of human growth hormones and methamphetamines.

Oracle
Oct 9, 2004

tek79 posted:

That's one of the great things about this whole thing. There's nothing really convoluted about it. Trump attempted to bribe a foreign nation with millions of taxpayer dollars to help him win an election by going directly after his top rival. It's about as a direct assault on the central foundation of our democracy as you could possibly get. If this all checks out (likely) it might be regarded as the most corrupt action taken by an sitting U.S. President, ever.

It wasn't bribery it was extortion. He WITHHELD millions of taxpayer dollars that the people's representatives had already earmarked for the defense of a critical ally against the Russian Federation unless said ally manufactured dirt/the appearance of corruption on his political opponent.

skylined!
Apr 6, 2012

THE DEM DEFENDER HAS LOGGED ON
Lol it’s allllwwwaaayyssssss projection hahaubdbtht towoowvt g dmlaie f g

https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/1177311904148144129?s=21

theflyingorc
Jun 28, 2008

ANY GOOD OPINIONS THIS POSTER CLAIMS TO HAVE ARE JUST PROOF THAT BULLYING WORKS
Young Orc
I am completely in awe of how little we're hearing from Republicans, still.

Kuvo
Oct 27, 2008

Blame it on the misfortune of your bark!
Fun Shoe
https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1177312399713624066

theflyingorc
Jun 28, 2008

ANY GOOD OPINIONS THIS POSTER CLAIMS TO HAVE ARE JUST PROOF THAT BULLYING WORKS
Young Orc

Oracle posted:

It wasn't bribery it was extortion. He WITHHELD millions of taxpayer dollars that the people's representatives had already earmarked for the defense of a critical ally against the Russian Federation unless said ally manufactured dirt/the appearance of corruption on his political opponent.

Yeah, but have you heard that Biden once got a guy fired that DID NOT investigate his son? Seems exactly equal to me!

syntaxrigger
Jul 7, 2011

Actually you owe me 6! But who's countin?


urg ....to give swirly.....rising....

Goatse James Bond
Mar 28, 2010

If you see me posting please remind me that I have Charlie Work in the reports forum to do instead

theflyingorc posted:

I am completely in awe of how little we're hearing from Republicans, still.

they have to be loving terrified lol

tek79
Jun 16, 2008

Oracle posted:

It wasn't bribery it was extortion. He WITHHELD millions of taxpayer dollars that the people's representatives had already earmarked for the defense of a critical ally against the Russian Federation unless said ally manufactured dirt/the appearance of corruption on his political opponent.

This is true. Bad choice of words on my part.

Zapf Dingbat
Jan 9, 2001



This is going to happen irl within a week.

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002


perhaps my favorite popehat tweets are his ones mocking rudy as perhaps the worst defense attorney known to man

gh0stpinballa
Mar 5, 2019

Oracle posted:

It wasn't bribery it was extortion. He WITHHELD millions of taxpayer dollars that the people's representatives had already earmarked for the defense of a critical ally against the Russian Federation unless said ally manufactured dirt/the appearance of corruption on his political opponent.

biden threatened to do the same if they didn't fire the prosecutor investigating his son tho?

eviltastic
Feb 8, 2004

Fan of Britches
Lotta people having a normal one today.

https://twitter.com/swin24/status/1177295366854774787

(Jim Baker was general counsel for the FBI and involved with Comey in telling Trump about the Steele dossier, testified to Congress and may have leaked to the press, is a Lawfare contributor, and I have to assume very difficult to mistake for Daily Beast reporter Asawin Suebsaeng.)

Critical
Aug 23, 2007

Quick story, i have been lucky enough to never hear Ben Shapiro speak. Yesterday I was listening to an episode of Reply All he was mentioned in and when i heard his voice i burst out laughing in the office. He sounds exactly like the loving dweeb he is.

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug


Pillbug
"Remember me, State department? When I did those crimes I talked just. like. this!"

Bread Set Jettison
Jan 8, 2009

gh0stpinballa posted:

biden threatened to do the same if they didn't fire the prosecutor investigating his son tho?

He didnt thanks

Prester Jane
Nov 4, 2008

by Hand Knit

GreyjoyBastard posted:

they have to be loving terrified lol

The upper echelons of the Republican Party are currently trapped in one gigantic combination Battle Royal-prisoner's dilemma wherein the only thing they are certain of is that every single player is a self-interested sociopath will who mash the betray button at the earliest opportunity.

If we're lucky we might get to see Republicans shanking each other in the mad scuffle to get to the betray button.

Prester Jane fucked around with this message at 21:13 on Sep 26, 2019

funeral home DJ
Apr 21, 2003


Pillbug

Zapf Dingbat posted:

This is going to happen irl within a week.

At this point I expect Giuliani to take a 36” long rip of baby laxative up his nose on-air, then scream that “everyone, everywhere is hosed” while he slams random spots on a Play-Skool “My First Smartphone”.

gh0stpinballa
Mar 5, 2019

tek79 posted:

If this all checks out (likely) it might be regarded as the most corrupt actions taken by an sitting U.S. President, ever.

lol it's not even in the top 5

CuddleCryptid
Jan 11, 2013

Things could be going better

eviltastic posted:

Lotta people having a normal one today.

https://twitter.com/swin24/status/1177295366854774787

(Jim Baker was general counsel for the FBI and involved with Comey in telling Trump about the Steele dossier, testified to Congress and may have leaked to the press, is a Lawfare contributor, and I have to assume very difficult to mistake for a Daily Beast reporter)

I swear to god, this is why our government shouldn't be run by old men. All these wrinkled fucks have dementia

marshmonkey
Dec 5, 2003

I was sick of looking
at your stupid avatar
so
have a cool cat instead.

:v:
Switchblade Switcharoo
https://twitter.com/eyokley/status/1177312117948657664

gh0stpinballa
Mar 5, 2019


except he did

unless he was lying about threatening them

TulliusCicero
Jul 29, 2017



Trump will get marched out by his own detail if he refuses to leave. This discussion is always dumb and devolves into dumb outlandish what if's that right wing militias jack off to

theflyingorc
Jun 28, 2008

ANY GOOD OPINIONS THIS POSTER CLAIMS TO HAVE ARE JUST PROOF THAT BULLYING WORKS
Young Orc

gh0stpinballa posted:

biden threatened to do the same if they didn't fire the prosecutor investigating his son tho?

False, loving false.

The investigation was ended a year earlier. THAT GUY ENDED IT.

Biden didn't get a guy fired for doing the thing he liked, that's stupid.

evilweasel
Aug 24, 2002

gh0stpinballa posted:

except he did

unless he was lying about threatening them

the prosecutor had dropped the investigation into a company associated with his son a year before biden, on behalf of obama and the EU, delivered the message the prosecutor needed to be fired because he wasn't investigating corruption

you seem dumb so i'm going to leave out all the other stuff that's discredited and leave you trying to explain that "year before" problem

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug


Pillbug

gh0stpinballa posted:

biden threatened to do the same if they didn't fire the prosecutor investigating his son tho?

Lmao, except this was after the Prosecutor had already dropped the case, and the ex-prosecutor surfaced today and said it would've been stupid to charge Biden's son anyways because the actual crime occurred before he joined the firm.

But thanks for repeating a GOP talking point, because those are reputable...

Shifty Pony
Dec 28, 2004

Up ta somethin'


Oracle posted:

loving THIS. Root and branch, root them all out root and branch or they will keep popping up like bad pennies. See: loving everyone in Nixon's administration, they all popped up for Iran-Contra and again for W's shitshow.

Yep. We're in this gagglefuck because we didn't destroy everyone connected to Nixon and the lesion they all learned was "don't get caught but if you do no biggie".

It is absolutely critical that heads roll for Trump's crimes.

AmiYumi
Oct 10, 2005

I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG

Kill Bristol posted:

Yes. The dictator’s dilemma (gotta hold on to power or I’m hosed) is a well known thing in comparative politics. It’s distasteful but the best thing to do is probably to offer him some kind of tacit agreement that if he steps down he’ll be free from serious jail time.
Everyone missing the most obvious and poetic answer: tacitly promise him the loving moon, then absolutely refuse to uphold your end of the agreement.

He won’t recognize it because he’s more liquid than brain at this point, but it should be familiar to him.

tek79
Jun 16, 2008

gh0stpinballa posted:

lol it's not even in the top 5

Well, I did say "might be".

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012

Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

makes sense. rudy is hosed probably and will probably drag alot of other ghouls into hell with him. maybe even trump.

CuddleCryptid
Jan 11, 2013

Things could be going better

TulliusCicero posted:

Trump will get marched out by his own detail if he refuses to leave. This discussion is always dumb and devolves into dumb outlandish what if's that right wing militias jack off to

Listen. I am a simple man. I pay my bills, I love my wife, and I want to see Donald Trump get the stuffing beaten out of him by DC cops. A simple life is all I want.

mod sassinator
Dec 13, 2006
I came here to Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum,
and I'm All out of Ass

*womp* *womp* Now we know why the republicans are so silent. They have no idea what to do and nothing that worked in the past is working.

LionArcher
Mar 29, 2010


Hobo Clown posted:

I often think about the eventual movie that will come out of this. How do you tell this story in 2-3 hours? Where does the script even start?

10 episode mini series on HBO. Craig Mazin (Chernobyl writer) and Aaron Sorkin write every episode (and phoebe weller of fleabag fame punches up the jokes). Directed by David Fincher and the director of Wonder Woman, and maybe one of the directors of game of thrones.

PoopShipDestroyer
Jan 13, 2006

I think he's ready for a chair
I feel like Trump will never see any jailtime because even if this whole thing is a slam dunk it will be in the courts for years and, honestly, how much time does he really have left on this earth?

Popete
Oct 6, 2009

This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs

Grimey Drawer

theflyingorc posted:

I am completely in awe of how little we're hearing from Republicans, still.

Tayter Swift
Nov 18, 2002

Pillbug
Quick, someone sneak a GPS tag on one of Rudy's cufflinks. He'll lead us to John McAfee by the weekend.

Google Butt
Oct 4, 2005

Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

lol it doesn't even matter what biden did you whataboutist rear end in a top hat

Bakanogami
Dec 31, 2004


Grimey Drawer
So what are the potential endgames for this mess?

1) House votes to impeach, enough Senate republicans flip in an anonymous vote to remove Trump from office. Without the shield of the office, he's immediately tried for many crimes and spends the rest of his life in jail.

2) House votes to impeach, senate convicts, but Pence turns around and pardons him. Trump is removed from office, but faces no other punishment.

3) House votes to impeach, senate convicts, but Trump doesn't accept the impeachment as legitimate, refuses to leave and keeps acting like he's President. Pence does nothing to deter this or remove him from the White House. Everyone gets very confused.

4) House votes to impeach, but it fails when the Senate vote is roughly along party lines. No consequences, but assuming it's not an anonymous vote it gets senators on record and the fallout looms over the 2020 election.

5) House votes to impeach, but Mitch decides he doesn't have to ever bring it up in the senate if he doesn't want to. In a 5-4 decision the SC backs him up.

6) The house impeachment vote fails when Nancy Pelosi and a few other dems refuse to vote for it, because it's for the voters to decide lol

7) House impeachment proceedings get so bogged down they never reach the voting stage. We're treated to a year of committee hearings and the press gets time to think of a sexy "-gate" name before Trump is voted out normally in 2020.

8) They stonewall on every subpoena so that the hearings never get anything done. They threaten to hold people in contempt but never seem to get around to it. Trump wins reelection in 2020 and either the dems lose the house or decide that the people have spoken and back down from impeachment.

9) Trump invites house dems to a meeting to talk about it on 5th avenue and shoots them all.



I figure #4 is most likely, and 1-3 are never happening because the Senate republicans are just as crooked as Trump is.

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Dr. Red Ranger
Nov 9, 2011

Nap Ghost

Shifty Pony posted:

the lesion they all learned was "don't get caught but if you do no biggie".

I don't consider this a spelling mistake honestly

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