NFL Week 4 N/V: May you ever love something like Case Keenum loves fumblin

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 4 N/V: May you ever love something like Case Keenum loves fumblin

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Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

Elway going to trade his entire draft to ruin Minshew.

# ? Sep 28, 2019 21:49

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 12:45

Vengarr: Jun 17, 2010; Smashed before noon

Kawalimus posted:

I read the ESPN headline as if Ramsey and the oentire Jacksonville Jaguars roster had been traded to Denver.

If the Jaguars and the Broncos merged, how good would the resulting team be?

# ? Sep 28, 2019 21:51

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

the broncuars

the jaggos

# ? Sep 28, 2019 21:52

No Irish Need Imply: Nov 30, 2008

i gently caress with the london jaggos

# ? Sep 28, 2019 22:01

DC Murderverse: Nov 10, 2016; "Tell that to Zod's snapped neck!"

Vengarr posted:

If the Jaguars and the Broncos merged, how good would the resulting team be?

i dunno how good it would be but a QB room with Joe Flacco, Drew Lock, Gardner Minshew and Nick Foles would be hilarious.

# ? Sep 28, 2019 22:11

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

DC Murderverse posted:

i dunno how good it would be but a QB room with Joe Flacco, Drew Lock, Gardner Minshew and Nick Foles would be hilarious.

The room would drown in all the oozed machismo.

# ? Sep 28, 2019 22:40

Vengarr: Jun 17, 2010; Smashed before noon

DC Murderverse posted:

i dunno how good it would be but a QB room with Joe Flacco, Drew Lock, Gardner Minshew and Nick Foles would be hilarious.

That�s like the setup for a sitcom

# ? Sep 28, 2019 23:23

Thaddius the Large: Jul 5, 2006; It's in the five-hole!

Vengarr posted:

That�s like the setup for a sitcom

Flacco = Sophia
Minshew = Rose
Foles = Blanche

Almost there, will Lock make a good Dorothy?

# ? Sep 28, 2019 23:33

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

https://twitter.com/Chargers/status/1178040438848212994?s=19

# ? Sep 29, 2019 00:37

sharknado slashfic: Jun 24, 2011

How is Locks and Foles mustache game

# ? Sep 29, 2019 00:43

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

a neat cape posted:

https://twitter.com/Chargers/status/1178040438848212994?s=19

He playing tomorrow?

# ? Sep 29, 2019 01:14

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Looks like!

# ? Sep 29, 2019 01:18

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

Vertical Lime posted:

https://twitter.com/TomPelissero/status/1178004274825093123

i mean he's on a plane

to Jackson Hole?

# ? Sep 29, 2019 04:12

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

What are you even doing Falcons?

https://twitter.com/Jason_OTC/status/1178154789735206912?s=19

How does Dallas have so much projected cap space with all the deals they've been giving out?

https://twitter.com/Jason_OTC/status/1178153970700898305?s=19

# ? Sep 29, 2019 05:01

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

It's kind of mindblowing to think that Matt Ryan will never win a Super Bowl. Hes no Dan Marino, but hes put up some great seasons over the years for a really long time. Almost like Peyton Manning up until 2006.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 05:10

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

Chichevache posted:

It's kind of mindblowing to think that Matt Ryan will never win a Super Bowl. Hes no Dan Marino, but hes put up some great seasons over the years for a really long time. Almost like Peyton Manning up until 2006.

28-3 is mindblowing
He had his chance :colbert:

# ? Sep 29, 2019 05:11

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

sweet thursday posted:

28-3 is mindblowing
He had his chance

I wish more quarterbacks realized their head coach was a retard running them into a hole. Like, Ryan has to have at least as good of an understanding of the game as Quinn and Shanahan. Overrule those clowns and audible to a run play.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 05:16

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

Well if my weekend is anything to go by (it's been loving awful and sad from start to finish so far), the Cowboys will be exposed as frauds tomorrow as Dak Prescott explodes into chunks of flesh on the field.

If I'm wrong, however, I clearly made a deal with the devil to let the Cowboys win in exchange for my weekend. Tune in and find out what happens, folks!

# ? Sep 29, 2019 05:33

hifi: Jul 25, 2012

quote:

As you can imagine, NFL officials have several amusing stories about the starter�s pistol.

The officials used to carry their own pistol to each game. But, starting in 1970, federal regulators banned passengers from carrying firearms on a commercial jetliner (in response to a rash of hijackings). Beginning in 1970, the home town chain gang supplied the starter�s pistol.

The 1970 flying rules put a young line judge named Red Cashion in a pickle one preseason game. The NFL was playing a preseason game in Tampa Bay before the Buccaneers franchise existed. According to Cashion�s book, when he met the local chain gang, he asked them if they had a starter�s pistol. They did not. A police officer wanted to be helpful and offered to loan Cashion his .357 service revolver for the game. He warned Cashion to aim the gun straight up because it carried live ammunition. Cashion thanked the officer but said they would not be using a gun for the game.

The late AFL and NFL referee John McDonough once officiated a game with president Richard Nixon in attendance. McDonough�s line judge that day was Tommy Miller. During a TV timeout McDonough asked Miller to look up at the president. Both noted that the Secret Service agents guarding the president looked alert and intense. McDonough chided Miller that he�d better not shoot his gun in the air or the Secret Service would shoot him. While mostly a joke, Miller took the chiding seriously. McDonough wrote in his book that at the end of the quarter, Miller turned his back on the president, pointed the gun at the ground and fired.

Gene Barth told Referee Magazine that when he was a line judge, the auxiliary down box man handed him the pistol toward the end of a quarter. Barth put the gun in his back pocket. When the quarter ended he reached into his back pocket to pull out the gun and the firearm went off. He said the mishap flash burned his posterior.

Before making his mark as an umpire, Jim Quirk, Sr., was a line judge. He told a story about using the gun to dissuade an argumentative defensive coordinator named Bill Belichick. According to the book, The Third Team, Quirk made a controversial call against the New York Giants. Belichick started jogging down to Quirk�s position to deliver a final salvo as time expired. Quirk saw him coming, took out his starter�s pistol, extended it toward Belichick and fired. Quirk �apologized� to the nearly deaf coach for not seeing him standing there.

Win or lose, George Halas always enjoyed working (or tormenting) the officials during a game. Norm Schachter recounts in his book that back in the 1960s, Stan Javie felt Halas� wrath in the first half. As time wound down to end the half, everyone started jogging off the field. As Halas was jogging off the field, Javie ran up behind him, and scared an unsuspecting Halas to death when he fired the pistol to officially end the first half. The officiating crew had a good halftime laugh in the locker room.

http://www.footballzebras.com/2019/09/nfl100-why-did-officials-use-a-pistol-to-signal-the-end-of-the-quarter/

# ? Sep 29, 2019 05:49

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

And that ref only managed to kill Belichick's sense of mercy.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 05:56

The Puppy Bowl: Jan 31, 2013; A dog, in the house.

*woof*

Brandon Lee died but Belichick lived. This cruel cruel world.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 06:14

DariusLikewise: Oct 4, 2008; You wore that on Halloween?

wandler20 posted:

How does Dallas have so much projected cap space with all the deals they've been giving out?

Dak and Cooper will eat up most of the rest. Half the rest of the roster are FAs next year as well

# ? Sep 29, 2019 07:46

Diqnol: May 10, 2010

Shinjobi posted:

Well if my weekend is anything to go by (it's been loving awful and sad from start to finish so far), the Cowboys will be exposed as frauds tomorrow as Dak Prescott explodes into chunks of flesh on the field.

If I'm wrong, however, I clearly made a deal with the devil to let the Cowboys win in exchange for my weekend. Tune in and find out what happens, folks!

No no, your feelings are right, the fraud Cowboys will turn to ashes in your mouth tomorrow. You should become the fan of a good team like the Philadelphia Eagles!

# ? Sep 29, 2019 09:01

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

ELO Musk posted:

No no, your feelings are right, the fraud Cowboys will turn to ashes in your mouth tomorrow. You should become the fan of a good team like the Philadelphia Eagles!

I would rather not!

# ? Sep 29, 2019 15:26

Sarah Problem: Sep 24, 2002; Because, if you confess with your mouth that Witten is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved

Shinjobi posted:

I would rather not!

# ? Sep 29, 2019 15:29

solarjetman: Jan 27, 2001; Fun Shoe

are we sure Nick Boyle and Jack Doyle are two different people

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:25

Fate Accomplice: Nov 30, 2006

A girl I briefly dated months ago invited me to the ballet this evening so instead of watching the saints humble the cowboys I will watch a different kind of dancing.

I dunno why I said yes.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:30

latinotwink1997: Jan 2, 2008; Taste my Ball of Hope, foul dragon!

ketchup vs catsup posted:

A girl I briefly dated months ago invited me to the ballet this evening so instead of watching the saints humble the cowboys I will watch a different kind of dancing.

I dunno why I said yes.

Every guy on here knows why you said yes. Hell, she probably knows why you said yes and thinks it�s hilarious.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:34

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

the ballet rules

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:36

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

latinotwink1997 posted:

Every guy on here knows why you said yes. Hell, she probably knows why you said yes and thinks it’s hilarious.

Is the answer because he thinks he might have sex with her?

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:43

The Puppy Bowl: Jan 31, 2013; A dog, in the house.

*woof*

I sang in an opera chorus as a kid. The chainsmoking Russian ballerinas were very mean.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:43

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

I�m missing half the cowboys game tonight for a flag football game.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:47

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

https://twitter.com/Raiders/status/1178332818985799680?s=20

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:48

sharknado slashfic: Jun 24, 2011

You're still going to the ballet with a girl you "briefly dated months ago"? That seems awkward af

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:51

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

wandler20 posted:

https://twitter.com/Raiders/status/1178332818985799680?s=20

Cool, we're already at the mutant outbreak stage of the future. Cool

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:53

DariusLikewise: Oct 4, 2008; You wore that on Halloween?

https://twitter.com/john_keim/status/1178328192085643265?s=20

Washington going to lose again

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:58

MD2020: May 30, 2003; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

The Puppy Bowl posted:

I sang in an opera chorus as a kid. The chainsmoking Russian ballerinas were very mean.

Well yeah, they're hungry.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 16:59

solarjetman: Jan 27, 2001; Fun Shoe

seems like a curse

https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/1178264647524159488

# ? Sep 29, 2019 17:28

Freaquency: May 10, 2007; "Yes I can hear you, I don't have ear cancer!"

R.D. Mangles posted:

the ballet rules

Co-sign

My partner dances in a Civic company with her brother and sister and they all loving rule. All TFF goons should dream to be as fit and strong as a ballet dancer.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 17:29

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 12:45

The Puppy Bowl: Jan 31, 2013; A dog, in the house.

*woof*

solarjetman posted:

seems like a curse

https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/1178264647524159488

Got to love the balls it takes to schedule this during a Pats game expecting it won't be a total rout that sours the crowd come halftime.

# ? Sep 29, 2019 17:33

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 4 N/V: May you ever love something like Case Keenum loves fumblin

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