CODChimera posted:

thanks, already I feel a lot better

Flavius Aetass posted:

MAKE BALOOGAN D&D MOD

Ben Nerevarine posted:

Feminition posted:

jeb! should run again

TMMadman posted:

do you like eggs? do you like olive oil?

How can a combination of the two be gross?

Lastgirl posted:

Spoondick posted:

https://www.theonion.com/when-youre-feeling-low-just-remember-ill-be-dead-in-ab-1819584806

quote:

Sure, I’ll have a grand, opulent funeral that will be talked about and broadcast extensively, and all the news segment retrospectives on my life will probably be obnoxious to watch and listen to, and will very likely make you angry. But just think: all of those segments will end with a picture of my blustery, self-important face and the dates 1946–2031 printed beneath it. Or maybe 1946–2032. Or, who knows, maybe earlier! Even if you’re not feeling glum, I guarantee the recognition that my death is a concrete and rapidly approaching inevitability will make you feel even better.

quote:

Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s try a surefire pick-me-up that is certain to buoy your spirits right this very moment: let’s think of ways I could die! Perhaps I’ll suffer through a slow, excruciating kidney failure that leaves me in profound pain that the doctors just can’t treat. It could be a massive heart attack while I’m delivering a speech to investors, forcing me to clutch my chest in agony and stagger into the audience. It could be Alzheimer’s. Or I could even be diagnosed with a vicious form of cancer that at first appears to be responding well to chemotherapy but then takes a rapid and inescapable turn for the worse.

And of course there’s always the possibility that I’ll be declared brain-dead after a stroke and lie immobile on a hospital bed for a year or more before Melania finally works up the courage to pull the plug.

And if you need a real shot in the arm to get you laughing and smiling again, just remember that I could trip down a flight of stairs in my own ultra-plush luxury high-rise this very night and shatter my skull right there. Isn’t that great?

So there’s no reason to be wearing a frown, my friend. I will die, and I will die soon. And as long as you remember that, your days will be brighter. I promise.

Ben Nerevarine posted:

SALAMI IN THE BAG

Zyla posted:

https://twitter.com/WorkersSpatula/status/1178904781361963015

quote:

And if my death in 15 or 20 years feels like it’s too far in the future to wash away your blues, you can take heart knowing that I’ll start to physically and mentally deteriorate well before then. Why, by 2020, I, a man who recently tried to extort the sitting president of the United States to release his college and passport records, might even begin to show signs of serious and unavoidable decline in mental and physical faculties, and doesn’t that just perk your spirits right up?

Spoondick posted:

Lastgirl posted:

god i hope hes completely brain dead by the GE debates in october

tacodaemon posted:

mayo is gross and so are the other names for mayo like aioli and remoulade and so on

DryGoods posted:

we are now enemies

don't expect mercy

punchymcpunch posted:

*slides out from under counter and starts clicking fingers* get im butter pals

Former DILF posted:

*flicks open a switchblade and narrows my eyes*

eonwe posted:

im not sure why, but im just bummed out and feel isolated tonight rip

smarxist posted:

THIS IS THE PRESIDENT