UKMT Red October 2019: Lies, dem libs, and polling companies.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT Red October 2019: Lies, dem libs, and polling companies.

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Debbie Does Dagon: Jul 8, 2005

josh04 posted:

Dawn on the first day!

- 745 hours remain until Brexit -

He looks like the evil version of Patrick Moore

e: Have an old pic of my first cat, RIP :gbsmith:

Debbie Does Dagon fucked around with this message at 15:10 on Oct 1, 2019

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:01

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# ? May 24, 2024 17:42

ItohRespectArmy: Sep 11, 2019; Cutest In The World, Six Time DDT Ironheavymetalweight champion, Two Time International Princess champion, winner of two tournaments, a Princess Tag Team champion, And a pretty good singer too!
"When I was an idol, I felt nothing every day but now that I'm a pro wrestler I'm in pain constantly!"

excited to see boris cry and piss his pants tomorrow at pmqs

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:01

Aphex-: Jan 29, 2006; Dinosaur Gum

Gonzo McFee posted:

https://twitter.com/MarkDiStef/status/1179027912638500865

Rumour is he hosed a ship.

E: i'm dumb and misread lol

he definitely hosed a ship though

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:01

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

ItohRespectArmy posted:

excited to see boris cry and piss his pants tomorrow at pmqs

Nah bojo loves PMQs I think it's the only bit of being a pm he really does enjoy

He gets to be the centre of attention, banter at everyone and nobody is allowed to call him a liar or follow up on his nonsense, it must be like being back in the good old days for him

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:04

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

lmao but also ffs

https://twitter.com/joejglenton/status/1179013539685654528?s=19

i know i mostly use twitter because insane galaxy brain takes make me hard but joe glenton is a genuinely good lad, ex squaddie who went AWOL for years because gently caress the british army, 10/10 follow

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:04

Necrothatcher: Mar 26, 2005

ThomasPaine posted:

lmao but also ffs

https://twitter.com/joejglenton/status/1179013539685654528?s=19

i know i mostly use twitter because insane galaxy brain takes make me hard but joe glenton is a genuinely good lad, ex squaddie who went AWOL for years because gently caress the british army, 10/10 follow

"Campbell�s lawyer said he should not be jailed because �he feels rehabilitated already�."

ffs

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:06

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Hentai Jihadist posted:

Nah bojo loves PMQs I think it's the only bit of being a pm he really does enjoy

He gets to be the centre of attention, banter at everyone and nobody is allowed to call him a liar or follow up on his nonsense, it must be like being back in the good old days for him

he's ditching PMQs this week though

rumour was either raab trying his best to not look like a serial killer (but failing) or that oval office from the UQ on Thursday

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:06

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Necrothatcher posted:

"Campbell�s lawyer said he should not be jailed because �he feels rehabilitated already�."

ffs

wish it had ended more like that tory oval office who got blatted by a bouncer in Spain or w/e

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:08

Saros: Dec 29, 2009; Its almost like we're a Bureaucracy, in space!

I set sail for the Planet of Lab Requisitions!!

Necrothatcher posted:

"Campbell’s lawyer said he should not be jailed because ‘he feels rehabilitated already’."

ffs

No no you missed his whole !two weeks! Of abstinence from coke.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:09

mediadave: Sep 8, 2011

Hentai Jihadist posted:

Nah bojo loves PMQs I think it's the only bit of being a pm he really does enjoy

He gets to be the centre of attention, banter at everyone and nobody is allowed to call him a liar or follow up on his nonsense, it must be like being back in the good old days for him

Nah - he's only had one go at PMQs so far and even the Guardian said he hosed it

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:09

Julio Cruz: May 19, 2006

Doctor_Fruitbat posted:

You've, uh, seen your avatar, right?

yeah that was the last time someone thought it was oh so funny

funny enough to post literally every day for 3 months

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:10

jabby: Oct 27, 2010

https://twitter.com/hzeffman/status/1179035026953949191
Nice.

e:
https://twitter.com/jeremycorbyn/status/1179034696484700166
Extra nice.

jabby fucked around with this message at 15:13 on Oct 1, 2019

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:10

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

Comrade Fakename posted:

Of course, it’s just political fan fiction, it’s not going to happen. But I will say that if Labour don’t form a government after the next election, then Corbyn really has got to go.

JeremoudCorbynejad posted:

*ThomasPaine sends Tweetman a DM*

The problem with right wing parodies is that they're so loving stupid, it's hard to tell what they're actually trying to say or who they see as the enemy, if they think Tweetman is at all leftist.

Gonzo McFee posted:

The unpopular man is unpopular and should go even if I agree with him and he would be replaced with someone I don't personally agree with or even like but I think other people would like, Vote Joe Biden.

It's the 'electabitity' trope again. All the press has to do is convince their readership that the sensible average person doesn't like Corbyn and wouldn't vote for him (even though easily half of the country did), and a deluge of melts will start to doubt him, including a few newer posters in this thread.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:11

Diet Crack: Jan 15, 2001

bump_fn posted:

students are back and they�re all infants who can�t walk in hallways

Just wanted to say I agree. They can�t read signs either.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:11

pitch a fitness: Mar 19, 2010

Darth Walrus posted:

Where was that thread on Arcuri's far right connections again?

https://twitter.com/nicktolhurst/status/1176839648406122497?s=19

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:15

Tanith: Jul 17, 2005; _{Alpha, Beta, Gamma cores

Use them, lose them, salvage more

Kick off the next AI war

In the Persean Sector}

Aphex- posted:

he definitely hosed a ship though

Roll on/roll off :q:

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:15

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Diet Crack posted:

Just wanted to say I agree. They can’t read signs either.

I share a local tescos with a big student hall and made the mistake of trying to buy something at 9.55pm the Friday night of freshers week

yes it was booze I'm no better than them

E: for those who don't know you can't buy alcohol after 10pm in Scotland because endemic alcoholism so everyone runs to get whatever they need just before

ThomasPaine fucked around with this message at 15:18 on Oct 1, 2019

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:16

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

pitch a fitness posted:

https://twitter.com/nicktolhurst/status/1176839648406122497?s=19

You were workin' as a racist in a cocktail bar
When I met you

ThomasPaine posted:

you can't buy alcohol after 10pm in Scotland because endemic alcoholism so everyone runs to get whatever they need just before

The system works!

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:19

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

ThomasPaine posted:

I share a local tescos with a big student hall and made the mistake of trying to buy something at 9.55pm the Friday night of freshers week

yes it was booze I'm no better than them

E: for those who don't know you can't buy alcohol after 10pm in Scotland because endemic alcoholism so everyone runs to get whatever they need just before

The worst thing about Scotland, running out of bevvy at 2am equalling the end of the party.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:22

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

mediadave posted:

Nah - he's only had one go at PMQs so far and even the Guardian said he hosed it

Led to a week of great John Crace praliamentary sketches:

quote:

Boris Johnson fails to bring Tories sunshine in excruciating PMQs

Practice makes imperfect. There was an air of expectancy on the Tory benches as Boris Johnson prepared to face his first prime minister�s questions. Surely the previous day�s car crash could only have been an aberration. This time their clown prince would prove to be the headline act they had been promised. Bring them sunshine, make them smile. Give them a reason to feel good about their tawdry, shabby lives. Some hope.

...

�Pifflepafflewifflewaffle,� said Johnson, when the leader of the opposition pressed him about the state of the government�s Brexit negotiations. This was all on a need to know basis. And not even he needed to know. You never negotiate in public. And apparently not in private, either. In any case, Corbyn was just trying to undermine him by taking no deal off the table.

Corbyn replied it was hard to undermine something that wasn�t taking place.

...

It was all downhill for Johnson from there. Asked to confirm what was in the No Deal Operation Yellowhammer dossier, he all but suggested it didn�t exist. Even though almost all the details had been leaked to the Sunday Times a couple of weeks ago. And then he just made up a story about the interview in which Michael Gove had said some food prices would go up. It had never happened. It was a Mikey impersonator who had been on the TV. The real Mikey had been having breakfast with him. Honest.

...

Come the end, Johnson was desperate to leave. He couldn�t even keep to the script that he didn�t want an election as he blurted out that he did want one after all. Dom would kill him for that. He rushed for the exit, only to be hauled back when he was reminded he was rather obliged to sit through Sajid Javid�s spending review. Having retaken his seat, he appeared to lose interest quickly. As did everyone else. Javid is even duller than Philip Hammond

Honestly all his bits from that week clowning on Boris are great.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:23

That Italian Guy: Jul 25, 2012; We need the equivalent of the shrimp = small pastry avatar, but for ambulances and their mysteries now.

ThomasPaine posted:

lmao but also ffs

https://twitter.com/joejglenton/status/1179013539685654528?s=19

However, his bravado slipped when he arrived in court with his lawyer Jane Brady telling Judge Nigel Daly at Oxford Crown Court: �It is fair to say he is absolutely terrified of going inside. �His mother would have concerns about her son�s ability to cope in such an environment.� Clifford was praised by his own lawyer for having abstained from cocaine for two weeks ahead of being sentenced. Previously he spent �400 a week on cocaine and cannabis.

This is loving unreal.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:23

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Guavanaut posted:

The system works!

Yeah it's pretty dumb, though i've heard some people say it's actually good because for actual pathological alcoholics (who genuinely want to stop) removing the temptation is a big thing psychologically. Once it hits ten they know they can't get any so they're not agonising over whether to go pick up another bottle of whisky and can kind of relax for a few hours. I'm not in any way an addiction expert though so take it with a pinch of salt but it seems plausible.

forkboy84 posted:

The worst thing about Scotland, running out of bevvy at 2am equalling the end of the party.

My (Scottish) partner was genuinely amazed when we went down to England to visit my parents and she could buy beer in the 24hr asda at whatever drat time she pleased

ThomasPaine fucked around with this message at 15:29 on Oct 1, 2019

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:25

mehall: Aug 27, 2010

forkboy84 posted:

The worst thing about Scotland, running out of bevvy at 2am equalling the end of the party.

Lol if you're not aware of at least three different Facebook pages you can contact to have booze delivered at a price that would be unreasonable in the shops, but not so high it's crazy if you just need a couple more bottles.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:27

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

That Italian Guy posted:

However, his bravado slipped when he arrived in court with his lawyer Jane Brady telling Judge Nigel Daly at Oxford Crown Court: �It is fair to say he is absolutely terrified of going inside. �His mother would have concerns about her son�s ability to cope in such an environment.� Clifford was praised by his own lawyer for having abstained from cocaine for two weeks ahead of being sentenced. Previously he spent �400 a week on cocaine and cannabis.

This is loving unreal.

Reminder some kid got drunk off his tits in the US and crashed a car, killing a family, and got zero jail time because he had 'affluenza' where he was too rich to realise what he was doing was wrong.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:28

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Tesseraction posted:

Reminder some kid got drunk off his tits in the US and crashed a car, killing a family, and got zero jail time because he had 'affluenza' where he was too rich to realise what he was doing was wrong.

That's very America

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:29

jabby: Oct 27, 2010

ThomasPaine posted:

Yeah it's pretty dumb, though i've heard some people say it's actually good because for actual pathological alcoholics (who genuinely want to stop) removing the temptation is a big thing psychologically. Once it hits ten they know they can't get any so they're not agonising over whether to go pick up another bottle of whisky and can kind of relax for a few hours. I'm not in any way an addiction expert though so take it with a pinch of salt but it seems plausible.

Stuff like minimum unit pricing and restricting sale seems like it wouldn't work because alcoholics gonna alcohol, but the evidence shows otherwise. At least to a small extent. Kinda like jacking up the price of cigarettes I guess, at some point either people's other priorities take over or they sink into destitution and crime I guess.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:29

Junior G-man: Sep 15, 2004; Wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma

Tesseraction posted:

Reminder some kid got drunk off his tits in the US and crashed a car, killing a family, and got zero jail time because he had 'affluenza' where he was too rich to realise what he was doing was wrong.

On the other hand, affluenza does tenderise their meat quite well.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:30

WhatEvil: Jun 6, 2004; Can't get no luck.

Ratjaculation posted:

I've spent my morning counting bats. Happy October everyone!

One-ha-ha-ha!
Two-ha-ha-ha!...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AoxCkySv34

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:33

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Junior G-man posted:

Big tweet thread on the 'new' BoJo border proposals:

https://twitter.com/tconnellyRTE/status/1178760377678618626?s=20

(Hint: it's loving madness and will never be accepted and is technologically unfeasible and mad)

It's already been rejected long ago, it was brought up before and Ireland laughed at it.
I love the idea of having a 310 x 15 = 4650 mile squared area that is a custom quantum zone. (310 is the length of irish border).

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:36

coffeetable: Feb 5, 2006; TELL ME AGAIN HOW GREAT BRITAIN WOULD BE IF IT WAS RULED BY THE MERCILESS JACKBOOT OF PRINCE CHARLES

YES I DO TALK TO PLANTS ACTUALLY

WhatEvil posted:

One-ha-ha-ha!
Two-ha-ha-ha!...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AoxCkySv34

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AXPnH0C9UA

i am a child

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:38

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

happyhippy posted:

It's already been rejected long ago, it was brought up before and Ireland laughed at it.
I love the idea of having a 310 x 15 = 4650 mile squared area that is a custom quantum zone. (310 is the length of irish border).

I love that the UK seems to believe it can dictate terms here and the Irish government needs their permission to put up a hard border.

(Not certain they will because Dublin actually understands how important the GFA is but jeez, the arrogance of it)

E: unrelated but I got talking to an Irish woman at a conference a while back and she was very much against the use of the term 'Republic of Ireland' because that's apparently a British phrase and people should either use Eire or Ireland or both. I'd never heard this before, is this an actual thing or was she just being a bit much?

ThomasPaine fucked around with this message at 15:44 on Oct 1, 2019

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:41

Doctor_Fruitbat: Jun 2, 2013

This world doesn't deserve ISF.

https://twitter.com/iresimpsonsfans/status/1179041242216374273?s=19

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:43

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

mediadave posted:

Sunny is right

Let me just stop you there.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:44

Eschenique: Jul 19, 2019

Shouldn't the entire no-mans-land be in Northern Ireland since it's the UKs making?

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:46

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Let me just stop you there.

Sunny does better these days but he still displays abject Lib Dem Brain from time to time.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:46

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

Eschenique posted:

Shouldn't the entire no-mans-land be in Northern Ireland since it's the UKs making?

[extremely Tory voice] why wouldn't we build over territory that belongs to us

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:47

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

some good lightning and thunder over london right now. please o god smite us for our hubris

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:48

Jables88: Jul 26, 2010; Tortured By Flan

An overlooked aspect of the choice of interim PM is that whoever this ended up being would be murdered within hours of delaying Brexit by a gammon hitman, so perhaps Harriet Harman/Ken Clarke/David Attenborough might prefer not to.

# ? Oct 1, 2019 15:48