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Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

Xander77 posted:

Like I said, I'm not really confident enough in my burger shaping skills to grill them, but this sort of thing is my grill, and this is my pan (aluminum, some sort of non-stick coating).

yeah, thin aluminum is a bad way to burg, imo. A thick-bottomed pan that has good heat retention will go a long way towards a good final product. As mentioned, lodge cast iron is pretty great, though you can often find some nice old ones at thrift stores and the like

A good cast iron pan will out last you and me combined and are well worth the price, imo

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Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Yes.

And make sure you open windows, take down the smoke detectors, apologize to your better half, etc. because it will be smokey.

1) Buy a Lodge cast iron product, either the skillet or the griddle that spans two burners
2) Get a cheapie weight scale. Makes forming patties balls easier when you can weigh them (before you form them) and is helpful in tons of other
cooking things.
3) And of course the spatula.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

A big-rear end heavy spatula is also helpful for smashing a burger if that interests you. They aren't prohibitively expensive and I really should buy one myself

Big Willy Style
Feb 11, 2007

How many Astartes do you know that roll like this?
Burg within your means. You don't have to go out and buy cast iron and military grade spatulas to make a good burgers. They help, sure, but I make do with a lovely $10 pan from the super market and a regular old egg flipppin spatula. Just burg

Democratic Pirate
Feb 17, 2010

I tried to make smash burgs on my grill to avoid smelling up my house and it went...poorly. At the very least I didn’t let the cast iron preheat long enough, so it cooled once I started adding burgers and just couldn’t recover.

Gwaihir
Dec 8, 2009
Hair Elf
If you have nonstick pans you can still burg just fine, they just can't really be smashburgers. You can cook on medium heat and do a thick pub style burger and just flip it frequently. It WILL get a good crust eventually, and frequently flipping cooks more evenly on a big thick patty.

beerinator
Feb 21, 2003
For burger smashing, I ordered this trowel 4 years ago and while it's a unitasker in my kitchen it's great for smashing two patties at once. Splash a tiny bit of oil on it and it will not stick to the patty and you can smash (and drag for crusties) two burger balls at once for a one time fee of 15 bucks.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B0014XZK8O/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Ginger Beer Belly
Aug 18, 2010



Grimey Drawer
Patty Melt and Onion Rings



This was the first time in a long time that I was asked what temp I'd like the burger at, and gotten something with any pink in it (I asked for medium). Good job Iron Horse Grill.

butros
Aug 2, 2007

I believe the signs of the reptile master


Patty melt supremacy.

SSJ_naruto_2003
Oct 12, 2012



I loving love Patty melts with carmelized onions

qutius
Apr 2, 2003
NO PARTIES

SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:

I loving love Patty melts with carmelized onions

Sooooo drat good!

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy

SSJ_naruto_2003 posted:

I loving love Patty melts with carmelized onions

:emptyquote:

immortalyawn
May 28, 2013

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
toasted cheese sandwich or hamburger made with bread

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser
“I forgot to buy burger buns”.

Coasterphreak
May 29, 2007
I like cookies.
It has to be on a proper sturdy bread though, if you make it on wonder bread or nature's own or whatever you use for peanut butter sandwiches all you're gonna have is a patty mess

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy

Coasterphreak posted:

It has to be on a proper sturdy bread though, if you make it on wonder bread or nature's own or whatever you use for peanut butter sandwiches all you're gonna have is a patty mess

Yeah. Last time I made them I used marble rye and it was fantastic.

tangy yet delightful
Sep 13, 2005



Xander77 posted:

Like I said, I'm not really confident enough in my burger shaping skills to grill them, but this sort of thing is my grill, and this is my pan (aluminum, some sort of non-stick coating).

I made burgers tonight inside and used a non-stick skillet for the first time maybe in my life. Also made some smash patties. Tomorrow I'll be throwing some on the grill. Then I'll edit together a quick video.

Lincoln
May 12, 2007

Ladies.
So my nephew and I have very similar tastes in food. He's in his upper-20s, I'm pushing 50. I have a couple of go-to burger joints, but I had never been to Five Guys. He's like, "oh you have to eat at Five Guys, it's one of my favorites." So I take him to lunch, and we go to Five Guys, and I tell him I'll pick up the tab, and it's like thirty loving dollars for two cheeseburgers, two drinks and a single order of fries. The burger reminded me of what I would get at Braum's. Dry bun, and the cheese had not even been melted. Sub-standard room-temperature burger, but I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't like it.

Not sure if it was just an off day, or maybe only four of the five guys showed up or what, but that was not a quality fast-food burger. The fries were OK, and we got so many of them we couldn't finish them all. Will not return. 4/10 would not bang.

I think I'll go get a good burger for lunch today and post a pic here.

Wungus
Mar 5, 2004

Five Guys is normally better than that, but like... not wildly better. On average I'd put them around like, a 7 or 8; the buns are usually toasted and moist, the cheese is usually melted, the burgs are usually hot and delicious, but they also cost way too much.

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008

Lincoln posted:

So my nephew and I have very similar tastes in food. He's in his upper-20s, I'm pushing 50. I have a couple of go-to burger joints, but I had never been to Five Guys. He's like, "oh you have to eat at Five Guys, it's one of my favorites." So I take him to lunch, and we go to Five Guys, and I tell him I'll pick up the tab, and it's like thirty loving dollars for two cheeseburgers, two drinks and a single order of fries. The burger reminded me of what I would get at Braum's. Dry bun, and the cheese had not even been melted. Sub-standard room-temperature burger, but I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't like it.

Not sure if it was just an off day, or maybe only four of the five guys showed up or what, but that was not a quality fast-food burger. The fries were OK, and we got so many of them we couldn't finish them all. Will not return. 4/10 would not bang.

I think I'll go get a good burger for lunch today and post a pic here.

Five Guys is ok, but it's in that weird "high-quality" fast food category where it's a lot more expensive than your average fast food burger but not actually that much better. The one near me is pretty decent most of the time but I don't go there much because it's pretty overpriced.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Been there once, and once was enough. Underwhelmed for the price.

Lincoln
May 12, 2007

Ladies.
Yeah that's the thing — at half the price I still would have been disappointed. I'm offended by the price-to-quality ratio.

Wungus
Mar 5, 2004

The frustrating thing is like, if it cost a dollar less per burg it's got the quality level to be like, the Southeast's entry to the In-N-Out/Shake Shack/Whataburger war in terms of like, iconic fast food burgers. But that extra dollar, just that fuckin' single dollar, means it costs too much to ever earn the reputation.

e: Also the quality is inconsistent, but I'm just imagining a perfect world situation here where you're getting the best quality possible every time.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


Shake Shack is in the same price tier as Five Guys and has much better burgs.

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002
5G is expensive for what it is but drat they are tasty most of the time i go :shrug: the prices arent great but in general there's not a lot of good cheap burgers anymore (outside of fast food chains)

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser
As previously discussed, 5 Guys in London is pretty good at all their outlets, Shake Shack is horrifyingly bad.

Lincoln
May 12, 2007

Ladies.
Here's what I just had for lunch.



One of the three best burgers in town. Present but not visible: lettuce, pickles, mayo, mustard. This is from a very small Texas-based chain called Blue Sky. I should have ordered the double, ugh. Bacon cheeseburger, tots, iced tea: $13.39 after tax. That's a buck or two less than Five Guys. Tots = bonus points. And they serve beer. This place raised prices significantly after 5G & Freddy's came to town. That burger is $8.49. It was $6.50 two years ago.

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

NUMBER 1 QUEENSLAND SUPPORTER
MAROONS 2023 STATE OF ORIGIN CHAMPIONS FOR LIFE



Got the Poutine burger from Miss Kay's for lunch

GnarlyCharlie4u
Sep 23, 2007

I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof
Sriracha ketchup is pro-tier.

One of my favorite things about Five Guys is their accessibility. I mean Wendy's will build you a $12 burger but it's still not as tasty.





vs




when I could have made this for less than 1/4 the price:






but unfortunately I have nothing like this near me:





Shake Shack is pretty okay but they're not really any less $$ than Five Guys


The trick is to just get a burger an nothing else. The burgers are ~$10 but that doubles if you throw fries and a drink into the mix.

There's a local place near my work that's pretty good.
They do all sorts of stuff like put pulled pork on a burg which is fine by me:


Hardees ain't bad, but they're not great either:

GnarlyCharlie4u
Sep 23, 2007

I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof
Social Burg'd today






The fried jalapenos were fuckin' money.

BlankSystemDaemon
Mar 13, 2009




How is Carl Jr thought of in the land of the burg?
It's the newest of burger chain restaurants that've sprung up here in Denmark, and which originate in the US - and I have to say I like it.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

To be honest, they've only killed a few people.

GnarlyCharlie4u
Sep 23, 2007

I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

D. Ebdrup posted:

How is Carl Jr thought of in the land of the burg?
It's the newest of burger chain restaurants that've sprung up here in Denmark, and which originate in the US - and I have to say I like it.

It's literally the same as Hardee's.

It used to be the king of burgers imo, but I'll be honest, they peaked with the 2/3 lb Western Bacon Thickburger like 12 years ago.
I would eat 2 in a single sitting and make myself sick. Seriously considered vomiting just so I could enjoy it all over again.

The Roast Beef Au Jus burger was pretty drat good but not nearly as amazing as the Western Bacon Thickburger.

Nothing will ever be that good again and I'm just going to waste the rest of my life chasing that burger high.

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002
uh is there a burger addict place we should send you to?

Leal
Oct 2, 2009
Carls Jr is good but god is it overpriced. A double western there is like 12 bucks, I can get an ultimate bacon cheeseburger at jack in the box for 9.

E: Maybe I should take this as a hint to just give up the fries and soda.

GnarlyCharlie4u
Sep 23, 2007

I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

BraveUlysses posted:

uh is there a burger addict place we should send you to?
I googled 'Burgers Anonymous' and was just faced with more delicious meat.

Leal posted:

Carls Jr is good but god is it overpriced. A double western there is like 12 bucks, I can get an ultimate bacon cheeseburger at jack in the box for 9.

E: Maybe I should take this as a hint to just give up the fries and soda.

A good option is to always double down on the burger, bring water, and skip the fries.

Wungus
Mar 5, 2004

I've had Hardees three times in my life; one time there was a thumbnail in the burger, one time a mosquito was mashed into the bun, and one time there wasn't anything wrong with the food but the soda tasted like someone had just dropped a blop of squid ink into some seltzer.

Like, I know this is bad luck, but three for three loving trips and each time I got something disgusting.

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008

I go to Jack in the Box sometimes. It’s pretty decent for fast food I guess. Definitely above McDonald’s and Burger King at least. Never had Hardee’s/Carl Jr’s, so not sure how that compares. I wish I lived near an In’N’Out or one of the other smaller regional chains I hear so much about.

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST

wizardofloneliness posted:

I go to Jack in the Box sometimes. It’s pretty decent for fast food I guess. Definitely above McDonald’s and Burger King at least. Never had Hardee’s/Carl Jr’s, so not sure how that compares. I wish I lived near an In’N’Out or one of the other smaller regional chains I hear so much about.

My limited experience with In'N'Out is that its incredibly overrated.

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Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

TheCog posted:

My limited experience with In'N'Out is that its incredibly overrated.

Oh dear god, expect the west coast to pile it on you. It is a religion that CA has the best of everything food-wise.

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