(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Consummate Professional posted:is it ok to not desire things like getting married or having kids? my little brother got engaged today and I feel sort of broken for being so averse to that. i dated a gal for 5 years and we broke up about kids. that's some non negotiable poo poo. as to whether it's OK to not want kids or marriage, that's above my pay grade
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Oct 14, 2019 03:50
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Eat This Glob posted:i dated a gal for 5 years and we broke up about kids. that's some non negotiable poo poo. as to whether it's OK to not want kids or marriage, that's above my pay grade i married a girl(after three months, i guess chalk that up to my fault) and am now doing through a divorce after ~5.5yrs, and despite discussing this issue before we started dating, before we married, and before we moved to a new place together; we just broke up about kids. i could have gone halfsies on literally any other issue, but you cant go half in on a being a (reallllll lovely) dad though.
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Oct 14, 2019 04:04
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Siljmonster posted:Do any other cspammers have no family? I can't go back to mine, since they're the source/enabled most of my trauma. I don't even miss them anymore, I'm just painfully alone. I have my parents, and thats it. And my dad is a Trump supporter, so hes not exactly on my side anymore. Theyre both getting old, and once theyre gone, thats it. Ill have nobody left. I have no close friends I can rely on. Once theyre gone, my plan is to go on as long as I can until I can no longer take care of myself due to whatever horrible illness I eventually develop due to my lovely health, then eat a bullet. Ive brought this up with my therapist, and I swear, its like the one thing that she cant offer any concrete, practical help with, because there are no solutions. On bad days, this is all I think about anymore. I hate this poo poo. Im so tired of all this.
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Oct 14, 2019 04:55
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Getting therapy while poor and on Medicaid sucks. I have basically one option and to be honest I feel like we aren't clicking, like being advised to just strike out and do things (grad school, car) while not having the money or being told that my limited social circle is entirely because of personal choice and not ya know, the actual diagnosed disability I was born with, which they are aware of. All about priorities and a just a feeling that it is designed to rehabilitate people into good little workers and nothing else. Starting to feel like I am wasting both our time because honestly I haven't made progress at all in a year and a half. Hell I haven't even gotten into half of the poo poo because it either makes me sound like a loon or self-harm risk enough to end up comitted, or because until I work that stuff out, building new relationships is just a bad idea.
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Oct 14, 2019 04:56
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Consummate Professional posted:is it ok to not desire things like getting married or having kids? my little brother got engaged today and I feel sort of broken for being so averse to that. As much I want romantic love I desire neither of those things. Especially children. They are very loud and I can barely take care of myself.
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Oct 14, 2019 14:05
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I'm trying to work up the nerve to wear my new hoodie and jacket to therapy this week
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Oct 14, 2019 14:24
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:I'm trying to work up the nerve to wear my new hoodie and jacket to therapy this week DO IT! You didn't buy new things to hang them in a closet and never wear them.
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Oct 14, 2019 14:44
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Consummate Professional posted:is it ok to not desire things like getting married or having kids? my little brother got engaged today and I feel sort of broken for being so averse to that. Yes. But, be aware of the folks who will just fundamentally not understand this. Mostly they mean well, but it can be irritating.
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Oct 14, 2019 18:42
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Aussie daylight savings time on the 6th gave me a brief respite from the gym noise waking me up at 5:30 every morning but it seems like the gym rats have adjusted.  The last week was the best I ever slept since moving to this cursed apartment. I miss good sleeps and napping so much.
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Oct 14, 2019 20:55
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:Aussie daylight savings time on the 6th gave me a brief respite from the gym noise waking me up at 5:30 every morning but it seems like the gym rats have adjusted. Decades ago I saw a national georgraphic segment on Aussie Opal miners that live in their mines. It sounded like the most cozy, restful thing ever... But then they started blasting. Maybe look into getting an abandoned one?
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Oct 14, 2019 21:11
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Failson posted:Decades ago I saw a national georgraphic segment on Aussie Opal miners that live in their mines. It sounded like the most cozy, restful thing ever... If it was up to me I probably would live in the middle of nowhere. But my wife is a city girl and being in a city of 5 million has dramatically improved my job prospects so I'm stuck here. (And honestly I love it here when I'm not dying of insomnia)
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Oct 14, 2019 21:33
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:I'm trying to work up the nerve to wear my new hoodie and jacket to therapy this week Update I wore my jacket Ar one point my therapist was asking me about like, what have I done/tried in this process so far, like have I tried switching up my wardrobe and what kind of clothes I wear? And im like my buttons are on the left, And then had to explain to her what that meant She's trying really hard, she's genuinely ignorant of a lot of this stuff but not in a hateful way and she does want to help. It's kind of sweet how hard she's trying.
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Oct 14, 2019 23:41
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:If it was up to me I probably would live in the middle of nowhere. But my wife is a city girl and being in a city of 5 million has dramatically improved my job prospects so I'm stuck here. (And honestly I love it here when I'm not dying of insomnia) please do not move out into the middle of Australia everything is poisonous and wants to kill you you will pantsed by a kangaroo
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Oct 15, 2019 01:00
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Hey everyone. Sorry its been so long. I know I was heavily involved in the early works of this thread and dropped out pretty suddenly. Im catching up on everything now and will try to be more involved with this thread going forward. Dont worry, nothing happened in my life other than work being extremely busy and having to travel a lot. Ive been away from the forums for awhile in general. But I did want to mention that a lot of folks from those early posts seem to be doing a lot better. Chokes has done a great job with this thread and Im really happy to see many of you have come a long way since February. Ill be posting in here again more often, but today I just wanted to say that even though so much is poo poo, I hope you all sometimes look back at this thread and see how far everyone has come. How many people were at the brink not long ago but are doing better. Also, more on topic, a really good outlet/therapeutic thing to watch is furniture restoration. You get to watch something thats been broken, tarnished, and left to rot become something cool and different but still the same in a lot of ways (plus furniture restoration involves making lots of mistakes along the way, but still comes out great). Mistakes or relapses happen. Its all part of the process. Lets all keep progressing together. You all kick rear end, and Im really looking forward to reading more from everyone.
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Oct 15, 2019 02:09
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:Update I wore my jacket Proud of you for wearing your new threads out. I know it's tough for you to show that side of yourself and it's good that you're taking steps.
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Oct 15, 2019 02:20
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In other news I've had two days off in a row (normally I work six days a week) and my friends have been either busy or out of town and being alone has reminded me of just how sick I still am. Give me a couple days off to rest and releive work stress and my anxiety and depression spike right back up. It's a good reminder that my problems are long-term and that I should be careful about trying to overachieve and be "best patient".
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Oct 15, 2019 02:25
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Also not helping a ton this week, in terms of my brain being weird, is that my partner is out of town. They're staying at their folks timeshare in a nicer town than this, further upstate. It's the longest we've been apart in three years. I was supposed to go, but then new job happened and I couldn't take time off when I was supposed to be in training It's weird and loneyl without them here. I like my solitude but this is strange and it reminds me of how little social interaction I really have outside of work and the internet Upshot: https://twitter.com/KamenRiderUno/status/1183805151787847681?s=19 A new soft friend is coming back with them, sized to be able to ride in my bag with me when im going someplace (I fuckin love otters)
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Oct 15, 2019 02:54
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Zeroisanumber posted:Proud of you for wearing your new threads out. I know it's tough for you to show that side of yourself and it's good that you're taking steps. At one point my therapist briefly touched on different pronouns/name and I almost dislocated a shoulder waving my arms no no not yet so hard so baby steps
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Oct 15, 2019 02:57
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Chokes McGee posted:please do not move out into the middle of Australia everything is poisonous and wants to kill you So far Aussie wildlife has been highly overrated. I haven't even seen a scary spider yet. Although I am in the middle of the country's biggest metropolis (those cunts in Sydney claim to be bigger but we've got another big city next to us that should count if we're being fair dinkum or whatever, bloody Sydney cunts.) Meanwhile on the north shore of Vancouver I've had multiple close bear encounters and been stalked by a mountain lion.
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Oct 15, 2019 03:36
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Ever feel like your #1 priority in life is to just sleep for as long as possible? I feel like the most important thing for me right now is to be unconscious for as long as possible.
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Oct 15, 2019 04:22
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mekyabetsu posted:Ever feel like your #1 priority in life is to just sleep for as long as possible? I feel like the most important thing for me right now is to be unconscious for as long as possible. this seems pretty similar to how i felt when i was at the worse end of severe depression, about the only thing that i looked forward to when i woke up in the morning was going to bed.
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Oct 15, 2019 05:18
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BENGHAZI 2 posted:Update I wore my jacket  .It takes a huge amount of courage to start wearing clothes that match your gender identity in public. Good job. 
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Oct 15, 2019 08:03
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While I'm coming to terms with probably having anxiety attacks since ever, which I thought were just coffee jitters, I have a friend with a more immediate issue that could use some insight on. I know a couple of brothers and this past year one of them seems to be losing his grip and becoming unstable. Now I'm more friends with the younger brother, so it may cloud my judgment but from what I've seen the elder brother is an emotionally manipulative person who's stuck in the past. A past where money wasn't an issue, where he was young and he had a lot of party buddies. To sustain his lifestyle, since he's never had any job, he keeps going to their family savings I've warned my friend to keep him in check, to take hold of their finances but his brother brings some story back from like 17 years ago when he did this or that and makes it out to be a big sacrifice. His friends are starting to complain the guy is behaving like a stalker, using social media to figure out where they are and then invite himself to whatever they're doing, usually by giving the same sob story to garner some pitty out of them. He's already going to therapy, but I don't know exactly what goes on there since this past year he's gotten worse. What exactly can my friend do?
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Oct 15, 2019 11:12
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Older bro is going to burn through all of the money unless he gets a handle on things. I would start there.
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Oct 15, 2019 13:28
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mekyabetsu posted:Ever feel like your #1 priority in life is to just sleep for as long as possible? I feel like the most important thing for me right now is to be unconscious for as long as possible. jesus, yes, i just want to sleep. every day from 8-9/9:30 I sit in my office feeling like i'm about to puke with my eyes involuntarily shutting and my whole body dozing off. it's like nodding on dope but without the pleasure, just a terrible sense of enervation i just want to like go live in a cave for a month and hibernate like a loving bear or something i hate working full time, but am acutely conscious that with these issues, working anywhere else would be a million times worse ed: also my morning sickness is back with a vengeance. twice this week i've puked my guts up around 9am. the sick feeling has always been a problem for me in the mornings but i solved it with sleeping in, weed, and lately kaopectate at night but it seems my countermeasures aren't enough anymore, especially since weed was the big one and i don't get high in the morning before work. i always used to think it was anxiety but i'm not anxious about anything at the moment other than my lovely wages and how hard it is to save, which i guess is some pressure, but mostly i'm beginning to think sickness, misery, and exhaustion are my lot in life Frog Act has issued a correction as of 14:02 on Oct 15, 2019 |
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Oct 15, 2019 13:33
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Zeroisanumber posted:Older bro is going to burn through all of the money unless he gets a handle on things. I would start there. he's finally trying to, but now he's afraid to trigger his brother into doing something drastic, since the money is on their mother's retirement account and she's got dementia, it's a legal mess to try and prevent him from just crashing and everyone else around him
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Oct 15, 2019 13:40
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Honest Thief posted:he's finally trying to, but now he's afraid to trigger his brother into doing something drastic, since the money is on their mother's retirement account and she's got dementia, it's a legal mess to try and prevent him from just crashing and everyone else around him He had better hire a lawyer and an accountant to figure the mess out.
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Oct 15, 2019 13:53
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yeah, seems like he won't avoid lawyering up eventually
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Oct 15, 2019 15:37
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I forgot to take my brain pills this morning today is gonna own lmao
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Oct 15, 2019 15:50
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I'm trying to wonder if my problem might be bpd. I've been assigned a therapist but I haven't made any appointments for a while because I don't think he can help.
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Oct 15, 2019 22:02
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been getting a lot of poo poo at work for doing something thats within my job description that another person feels should be their exclusive bailiwick. theyre condescending and rude, but not in my hierarchy, and Ive been beyond patient and polite with their bullshit. they were really rude to me today, and Ive finally had enough of them treating me like a subordinate. I think Im going to go to our boss tomorrow and mention how uncomfortable her hostility is making things for me. typically Id just accede to her wishes as I have in the past but if I do what shes asking I would be shirking my own duties and Ive been polite to the point of obsequiousness with her requests in the past, and the only effect its had is an intensification of her bullying I really dont like contending with unnecessary office drama but I also dont want to be a doormat, and this poo poo is more stressful than it should be. I just dont understand, in retail there was often at least a vague understanding that the bosses were a shared adversary. but in a white collar setting everything is so terminally individualistic your relationship with coworkers can so easily become antagonistic, derailed by a stray comment or ego tripping jerk
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Oct 15, 2019 22:38
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Cool, gotta wait for my money, they gotta "investigate" my claim now. Also they do stuff to ATMs every night so my card is gone apparently, gotta goto another branch tomorrow with a card printer to get a new one or wait about a week.
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Oct 16, 2019 03:09
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i think i want to start tapering off of my sertraline, even with wellbutrin im often sleepy through the day and now that im transitioning and on E maybe i wont be depressed without the sert? i can stay on the wellB for a while i suppose
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Oct 16, 2019 04:02
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got any sevens posted:i think i want to start tapering off of my sertraline, even with wellbutrin im often sleepy through the day and now that im transitioning and on E maybe i wont be depressed without the sert? which psych doc are you going to that's giving you an MDMA prescription 
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Oct 16, 2019 04:26
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Chokes McGee posted:which psych doc are you going to that's giving you an MDMA prescription Estrogen 
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Oct 16, 2019 04:33
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nikosoft posted:Estrogen dang
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Oct 16, 2019 04:33
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in all seriousness I kind of think there should be experiments on MDMA's effectiveness against depression. Ketamine is showing potential, why not try the drug that is literally formulated to make you feel better about everything
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Oct 16, 2019 04:34
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a couple of weeks ago i had my 28th birthday, and while it was fine, today i figured out that i'm actually 27 and i've been getting my age wrong for at least a year. dyscalculia is truly a world of wonders.
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Oct 16, 2019 04:45
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got any sevens posted:i think i want to start tapering off of my sertraline, even with wellbutrin im often sleepy through the day and now that im transitioning and on E maybe i wont be depressed without the sert? i can stay on the wellB for a while i suppose Talk to your doctor
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Oct 16, 2019 06:26
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Reality Sinner posted:Talk to your doctor I should just sticky this as the top of the thread or something
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Oct 16, 2019 06:55
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