(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:why the gently caress do i post here. nah
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Oct 23, 2019 01:45
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The trick to not getting written up at work is to never go to work
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Oct 23, 2019 01:46
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Reality Sinner posted:The trick to not getting written up at work is to never go to work Dont do this im barely treading water
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Oct 23, 2019 01:47
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Reality Sinner posted:The trick to not getting written up at work is to never go to work I need money to pay astronomical rent and weed to not die
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Oct 23, 2019 01:47
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:why the gently caress do i post here. post here friendo everywhere else, as your mental self-care allows
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Oct 23, 2019 05:20
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SpiderHyphenMan posted:why the gently caress do i post here. In the far future of the 21st Century there is only posting.
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Oct 23, 2019 06:37
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just spontaneously broke down into tears. im so tired of having brokebrains. the self destruction and sabotage is obscene. i want to feel another way but i cant even imagine it now.
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Oct 23, 2019 08:05
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I spend the first half my shift at work in a near panic attack state. Something about my retail job really cranks up my anxiety. Ive been working overnight when the store is closed and it still happens. Ive been there for a long time, and Ive been through two outpatient therapy programs in the past year to deal with my anxiety and depression. I feel like nothing helped. I also think my sensory issues may have something to do with it. Even at night my work is very loud and the lights bother my eyes. Im trying hard to get a new job. Ive been working this job for over 13 years and Im really sick of it. Im also sick of living with my parents 8 dogs (including 3 puppies we just got this year), but Im not in any position to move out.
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Oct 23, 2019 08:37
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Mill Village posted:I also think my sensory issues may have something to do with it. Even at night my work is very loud and the lights bother my eyes. felt. I can't have a decent conversation or even remain present in most public restaurants. There's a TV literally everywhere you look, and combined with my disassociation spells, my wife has to literally get eye contact and then coax me back into my own brain
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Oct 23, 2019 17:45
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here is a little something for u thread:  I always hate to say IT GETS BETTER because I can't guarantee that. No one can. However, it will change. Sometimes that's enough to catch your breath and get you moving again. Keep doin' what you're doing, med & therapy goons. It's a brave fight to fight and you're doing what you need to to take care of yourself, even if it seems rough now.
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Oct 23, 2019 17:49
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Kyle Hyde posted:just spontaneously broke down into tears. im so tired of having brokebrains. the self destruction and sabotage is obscene. i want to feel another way but i cant even imagine it now. Try taking a long internet break
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Oct 23, 2019 19:46
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Broke down and talked to my brother about my financial woes. I didn't want anything, just some sympathy and maybe some reassurance that things will get better. Instead he said that I should consider getting a second job to do in the evenings and weekends. It's hosed beyond measure that you can have a full time job with experience and just still not be able to make it. I don't even want to say "have a degree" or even the lovely phrase "skilled labor" (all labor is skilled labor), because everyone, regardless, should be able to live. Even moreso, I hate that I feel guilty about wanting to prioritize my health and what little sanity I have left and take up a second job. Being financially precarious just absolutely fucks your brain up. I realized this weekend that when I had my glasses cleaned, the sonic cleaner thing stripped off some of the coating on the lenses, so now there is a speckled haze over the lenses. I just burst into tears at my desk, knowing that there is no way I buy a new pair.
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Oct 23, 2019 20:04
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Sanguinary Novel posted:Broke down and talked to my brother about my financial woes. I didn't want anything, just some sympathy and maybe some reassurance that things will get better. Instead he said that I should consider getting a second job to do in the evenings and weekends. It's hosed beyond measure that you can have a full time job with experience and just still not be able to make it. I don't even want to say "have a degree" or even the lovely phrase "skilled labor" (all labor is skilled labor), because everyone, regardless, should be able to live. Even moreso, I hate that I feel guilty about wanting to prioritize my health and what little sanity I have left and take up a second job. Yep. I still can't believe I moved across the world mainly for a place that has common sense things like a reasonable minimum wage for every type of job that's pegged to inflation. The only reason I'm (temporarily) not struggling is because a) I got a mortgage before 2008, when my wife and I were making $12 an hour b) our home town real estate prices went insane due to money laundering c) I got married but didn't have kids and d) We left everything and everyone we knew for a country that's about 30 years back in time from North America in regards to capitalist rot. And yet I'm still at risk of being destitute because my loving landlord forgot to mention I won't be able to sleep past 5:30am in my apartment. Every day I go to work fearing what mistake I'm gonna do next because I'm so tired. I'm only two months in and feel like I'm barely clinging on. I wish more people would see that unregulated capitalism as the problem, rather than themselves or "the other."
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Oct 23, 2019 20:41
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Sanguinary Novel posted:Broke down and talked to my brother about my financial woes. I didn't want anything, just some sympathy and maybe some reassurance that things will get better. Instead he said that I should consider getting a second job to do in the evenings and weekends. It's hosed beyond measure that you can have a full time job with experience and just still not be able to make it. I don't even want to say "have a degree" or even the lovely phrase "skilled labor" (all labor is skilled labor), because everyone, regardless, should be able to live. Even moreso, I hate that I feel guilty about wanting to prioritize my health and what little sanity I have left and take up a second job. I was homeless while working full-time at a reasonable wage. That is, the wage was reasonable but the rent and move-in costs were (are) not. Really depressing.
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Oct 23, 2019 21:49
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I'm going to go to one of the nerd stores that I didn't work at, that's apparently the new chill hangout place for a bunch of the people who have been in the local scene for a while, and play some magic on Friday night Human interaction: will it kill me? We report you decide
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Oct 23, 2019 21:57
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Human interaction owns
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Oct 23, 2019 23:00
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Reality Sinner posted:Human interaction owns yah
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Oct 23, 2019 23:01
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Reality Sinner posted:Human interaction owns Disagree but I'm gonna try
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Oct 24, 2019 00:28
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I love my local game store. But it's owned by my best friends so...
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Oct 24, 2019 00:33
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ChrisBTY posted:I love my local game store. I worked at one for a while Another one is kinda dead for magic The third is run by a guy who uh acquired the money in less than ethical ways, allegedly And the fourth is new but it's owned by a guy in the community who's running it as a hobby and really just wants it to be a place where the community can hang out at night and plah cards Had to rephrase part of this post a few times so I wasn't putting a hearsay grapevine story on front Street
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Oct 24, 2019 01:22
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Reality Sinner posted:Human interaction owns
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Oct 24, 2019 01:27
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Hello. I'm almost out of weed and will not be buying any more.
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Oct 24, 2019 03:00
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Reality Sinner posted:Hello. I'm almost out of weed and will not be buying any more. crisis hotlines are standing by
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Oct 24, 2019 03:16
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Reality Sinner posted:Hello. I'm almost out of weed and will not be buying any more. Good luck! Stay strong, there are still things to enjoy without it!
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Oct 24, 2019 03:32
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I've been disappointed by people so it's pretty hard for me to reach out to them. Add to that the fact that I work about 60 hours a week and I'm usually too tired for anything outside of a cursory sandwich and fries in the evening sort of hangout. I'm a bit lonely, but I don't see things changing anytime soon. At least I don't have a lot of the material troubles that other people suffer from and I can still spoil my idiot cat to make myself feel a little better about things.
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Oct 24, 2019 05:21
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Reality Sinner posted:Hello. I'm almost out of weed and will not be buying any more. 
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Oct 24, 2019 08:35
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Reality Sinner posted:Hello. I'm almost out of weed and will not be buying any more. F
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Oct 24, 2019 10:10
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Am I a bad socialist for not finding solidarity with my coworkers in a workplace I absolutely hate? I feel somewhat guilty for not forming closer bonds with my coworkers, who probably have similar antipathy to the job. But I'm just so burnt out by this mindless and boring job that I don't have the mental energy to even make small talk. I feel like I'm wasting away my twenties by working contract job to contract job and still living with my well-meaning, but emotionally draining parents. 
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Oct 24, 2019 15:40
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Anyone else ever feel like they have fundamentally forgotten how to sleep? 'Cause I think that's me right now. Most people my age liked Fight Club because they wanted to be like Brad Pitt. I liked it because Ed Norton's character was the only person I ever saw in pop culture who experienced life in a delusional haze like I do. When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:01
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:Anyone else ever feel like they have fundamentally forgotten how to sleep? 'Cause I think that's me right now. chew some valerian root and get more exercise yeah i feel ya. have you tried a sleep study? maybe you have apnea or somethin?
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Oct 24, 2019 17:12
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:Anyone else ever feel like they have fundamentally forgotten how to sleep? 'Cause I think that's me right now. Sleep problems are overwhelming but the good news is that even small healthy changes make a huge difference.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:22
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got any sevens posted:chew some valerian root and get more exercise Yeah I slept overnight at the local university with a bunch of sensors on me. Had the best sleep of my life because it was quiet and there were no stresses. My problem is deep seated, fundamental and never ending general anxiety. My mom is the same way. A shrink at the same university said I was the most anxious patient she had ever seen when I was a teenage high school drop out, but she couldn't help me because I didn't have any goals. Bitch I don't have goals because I can barely function. Valerian root doesn't do poo poo but I appreciated that reference. Exercise does actually help but of course I'm too fatigued to do that regularly. Took me an hour to go to sleep and I woke up at 1am... 1.5 hours ago. Needed every minute I had to be alert today. It being 27C/81F in the middle of the night doesn't help. Why didn't anyone tell me Australia was warm?!
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Oct 24, 2019 17:34
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FactsAreUseless posted:I felt this way for years. Start with your doctor. I'm about 30 years into starting with a doctor. I appreciate the sentiment but it's a bit sad when Americans suggest this. People in other countries see a doctor when they have a headache.
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Oct 24, 2019 17:44
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:I'm about 30 years into starting with a doctor.
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Oct 24, 2019 18:02
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Hey thread. Getting a referral to see a psychologist next Friday. Got dumped last week and it sent me to a pretty dark place, making me realize just how much I have ignored the signs of anxiety and depression I've been living with for years. So here I am, broken heart, broken brain and to be brutally honest broken libido which I suspect was part of the reason for the break. All my close old friends have more or less cut contact with me because they find my views on fascists 'just as bad' as fascists, and I'm working a part time job with little to no prospects of it turning to full time or getting a promotion, with no education or experience in other fields my chances of getting an equally well paying job are slim, and even then my anxiety and depression is keeping me from trying. Hopefully the waiting line for a public therapist isn't too long, I need to sort my poo poo out.
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Oct 24, 2019 19:13
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FactsAreUseless posted:Okay, but is your doctor helping you address your sleep issues? I moved to a new country in February so I'm starting from scratch after hitting several dead ends back home. Australia is a lot more anti-medication than North America so I was basically ordered to immediately start tapering from Ativan, and it's basically impossible to get melatonin here. That was how I knocked myself out previously, although I have since learned that benzos gently caress up your quality of sleep. I've been on them since I was 17 and no one bothered to mention that. Chronic insomnia is a vicious cycle. I'm too tired to address small things like cleaning the bathroom, let alone tackle the big picture. But I am seeing a therapist bi-weekly, at least until my tapering is done. I'm actually not covered by universal healthcare here so that sucks. It's still way cheaper than the American system, therapy is completely free and $38 GP appointments are 100% covered by my mandatory $200 per month private health insurance. I've kinda exhausted all options at this point. Australian health care seems much more competent than Canadian, but when you don't respond to a dozen different medications and decades of therapy, what can you do? I've even tried weird experimental poo poo like where this one doc had me follow a pulsating light back and forth across a room whenever I had anxious thoughts. Nothing works. This is a new level of insomnia today though. The gym below me opens in 20 minutes so I'm finishing with two hours of sleep, despite also having an awful sleep last night. Usually I alternate ok sleep/disastrous sleep. I need at least 8 hours to not gently caress up things at work and be somewhat competent socially. So that means another Friday where I have to turn down any post-work social activities. Soon they're going to stop asking.
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Oct 24, 2019 19:13
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:I moved to a new country in February so I'm starting from scratch after hitting several dead ends back home. Australia is a lot more anti-medication than North America so I was basically ordered to immediately start tapering from Ativan, and it's basically impossible to get melatonin here. That was how I knocked myself out previously, although I have since learned that benzos gently caress up your quality of sleep. I've been on them since I was 17 and no one bothered to mention that.
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Oct 24, 2019 19:20
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FactsAreUseless posted:Therapy has helped with my anxiety, but medication was the biggest change for me in handling my sleep problems. I'm sorry the medical community there is fighting you so hard on addressing your problems. It sucks that this has been so hard for you. I wish I knew what else you could try. I appreciate the empathy and ability to vent here. I had a power nap despite the gym noise so should be able to survive another day. I think getting off benzos is worth a shot at this stage. They weren't helping me enough and they do affect sleep quality. Would be ironic if that was my issue all these years. Plus apparently it's really bad to be on them for years let alone decades.
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Oct 24, 2019 22:43
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fau you are a goddamned all-star in this threadGovernment Handjob posted:Hey thread. Getting a referral to see a psychologist next Friday. Admitting it and seeking help is a huge step. Good luck in your search. Let us know how it turns out.
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Oct 24, 2019 22:56
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UnfortunateSexFart posted:I appreciate the empathy and ability to vent here. I had a power nap despite the gym noise so should be able to survive another day.
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Oct 24, 2019 23:37
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