Star Citizen: $48,000 is only $334/month for 12 years

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Star Citizen: $48,000 is only $334/month for 12 years

biglads: Feb 21, 2007; I could've gone to Blatherwycke

TheAgent posted:

their recruitment messaging boils down to:

"we are loving desperate for bodies -- especially mid-20 year olds with barely any experience and absolutely no understanding of the terrible working conditions at our offices -- so we can work them 60 to 70 hours a week without end, have them burnout in 24 months and start the recruiting process for that seat again"

It sounds like you understand game development.

Edit for taxxe

biglads fucked around with this message at 20:55 on Oct 24, 2019

# ? Oct 24, 2019 20:53

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 07:13

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

TheAgent posted:

their recruitment messaging boils down to:

"we are loving desperate for bodies -- especially mid-20 year olds with barely any experience and absolutely no understanding of the terrible working conditions at our offices -- so we can work them 60 to 70 hours a week without end, have them burnout in 24 months and start the recruiting process for that seat again"

Please stop doxxing my dear Ubisoft managers.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 20:56

Dog Pipes: Jan 17, 2015

Dementropy posted:

https://twitter.com/Lukas_Genever/status/1187388510963150849

Actually wasn't sure whether these were irl instructions for the office coffee machine, or for the fidelitous coffee machine on one of the whales' $5000 JPEG spaceships that the untermensch will have to work on if SC releases.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 21:00

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

"The Outer Worlds" is another space game that has now released, it's even got space legs apparently.

First time I've heard about it tbh.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 21:21

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

chaosapiant posted:

My friend bought OS2 on floppy disc. I don't remember how many it was, but the box was heavy as gently caress and like disc 42 didn't work. Imagine how much of a pain in the rear end that is. Imagine how many floppies it would take to hold the functional code of Star Citizen. Two, three maybe?

Zero, since there is no functional code of Star Citizen.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 21:30

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Sabreseven posted:

"The Outer Worlds" is another space game that has now released, it's even got space legs apparently. First time I've heard about it tbh.

Just looked like yet another dumb-rear end FPS to me. There's a planet with rings in the skybox; I guess that makes it a space game

# ? Oct 24, 2019 21:32

chaosapiant: Oct 10, 2012; White Line Fever

Scruffpuff posted:

Zero, since there is no functional code of Star Citizen.

Is that really true though? I heard they have excellent under water simulation and physics.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 21:41

Peter.Quint: Mar 16, 2018

Dog Pipes posted:

Actually wasn't sure whether these were irl instructions for the office coffee machine, or for the fidelitous coffee machine on one of the whales' $5000 JPEG spaceships that the untermensch will have to work on if SC releases.

I can imagine the whales having equally ridiculous task breakdowns written out for the floor mopping and toilet cleaning jobs they expect the plebs to do on their mega ships.

Lol, how the hell is multicrew not going to be a terrible experience for anyone not piloting the ship? Ten minutes of a CIG mini game and everyone's just going to kill the pilot. Every ship is going to be like the Event Horizon.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 21:49

Slow_Moe: Feb 18, 2013

Peter.Quint posted:

I can imagine the whales having equally ridiculous task breakdowns written out for the floor mopping and toilet cleaning jobs they expect the plebs to do on their mega ships.

Lol, how the hell is multicrew not going to be a terrible experience for anyone not piloting the ship? Ten minutes of a CIG mini game and everyone's just going to kill the pilot. Every ship is going to be like the Event Horizon.

Because the citizers believe they're like Elon Musk, that their force of personality will cause other players to flock to them. It's an advanced form of delusion.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 21:56

chaosapiant: Oct 10, 2012; White Line Fever

The internet has connected and given voice to thousands upon thousands of people who would have normally been left alone in their mom's basement, and now Star Citizen is their great monument to this world.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 21:59

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

Foo Diddley posted:

Just looked like yet another dumb-rear end FPS to me. There's a planet with rings in the skybox; I guess that makes it a space game

It�s New Vegas in space. And I�m going to gulp it down and sop up the remnants with a biscuit. I�m not proud.

The outer wilds, also releasing shortly, is an entirely different game, but worth a look.

chaosapiant posted:

The internet has connected and given voice to thousands upon thousands of people who would have normally been left alone in their mom's basement, and now Star Citizen is their great monument to this world.

Fun fact: Florida has very few basements. I believe this explains something about Florida, but I�m not sure what.

Hav fucked around with this message at 22:15 on Oct 24, 2019

# ? Oct 24, 2019 22:12

chaosapiant: Oct 10, 2012; White Line Fever

Hav posted:

Fun fact: Florida has very few basements. I believe this explains something about Florida, but I�m not sure what.

Probably that it floods a lot.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 22:19

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

Foo Diddley posted:

Just looked like yet another dumb-rear end FPS to me. There's a planet with rings in the skybox; I guess that makes it a space game

I just found it funny that the makers of the original Fallout managed to beat CR to the line

# ? Oct 24, 2019 22:25

Saladin Rising: Nov 12, 2016; When there is no real hope we must
mint our own. If the coin be
counterfeit it may still be passed.

So Microtech is going to be the hot topic at CitCon; does the planet still look like a very obvious Archered fusion of Pluto and Enceladus?

# ? Oct 24, 2019 22:31

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

gonna play the outer worlds tonight and be a rootin tootin space cowboy with his finger on the trigger and sweet, southern space charm

also warframe is debuting their new content tonight

https://www.twitch.tv/warframe

they are doing a shadow of mordor type dealio where an immortal bossman guy thing chases you around and changes based on how you kill him / he kills you

dev stream should start in about an hour and a half from now 4pm pacific

also I need to play loving call of duty HOLY poo poo I need more goddamn time to play all this poo poo gently caress

# ? Oct 24, 2019 22:32

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Hav posted:

The outer wilds, also releasing shortly, is an entirely different game, but worth a look.

outer wilds is already out

# ? Oct 24, 2019 22:40

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Hav posted:

It�s New Vegas in space. And I�m going to gulp it down and sop up the remnants with a biscuit. I�m not proud.

Oh, so it's got like, RPG stats and a story and stuff. Alright, fine, fine

Sabreseven posted:

I just found it funny that the makers of the original Fallout managed to beat CR to the line

Eventually everybody's gonna beat CR to the line. Even Cube World guy did. Game is poo poo but it's complete and working after only six years, which is more than you can say for Star Citizen

# ? Oct 24, 2019 22:49

Cao Ni Ma: May 25, 2010

You can get gamepass for a cool buck and play it for a month

# ? Oct 24, 2019 22:54

Rookersh: Aug 19, 2010

Actual barista here. 10 years, working in Seattle. So many loving thoughts on that goddamn tweet. So many I had to reactivate my loving account I'm so baffled by it.

First off, YOU SHOULD NEVER. EVER. CHANGE THE loving GRIND. You change the grind with temperature, not by "what kind of shot you want.". Consistency and quality are going to deviate depending on how much moisture is in the room, and what kind of temperature range you are in. "More like a Ristretto" and "more watery" are both loving absolute lies. You are saying switch from fine tasting coffee, to either a super acidic or super bitter cup which is nearly undrinkable. Even worse, it takes almost a straight minute of grinding to reset the grinders from where they were, so you are wasting tons of coffee here for no real reason. Sucks if you came behind "Ristretto" guy who just switched it to 20 and then pulled a normal cup, and you get his super fine pull he left for you.

You shouldn't be doing 1 or 2 shots off mug or cup. It's not size based! It's what you are grinding for. If you are grinding 20 grams you want 2 shots. If you are grinding 14/16 you want 1. If you want a single and it's set and dialed in for 20 grams, just pull a double and then DROP THE OTHER HALF OF THE SHOT. 20 grams pulled at 1 is going to be WAY DIFFERENT then 16 grams pulled at 1. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Also if you want a Ristretto, just pull a 20 gram shot for only 20 seconds or so, until the dark brown starts disappearing.

30 seconds or so? WHAT. Is this automatic or manual? If it's automatic, the average shot should be 27-29ish for a double, or less for a single. Are you pulling 30 second singles here? What the hell is going on.

Milk foam starts coalescing instantly. It's why baristas pull shot first, then start steaming, so the shot finishes as the milk finishes. That means you have the most glossy easy to pour milk and the foam works with here. Here you've left the milk to the side for a few minutes so it can all gather up on top and clump up, then you can pour only liquid through it.

Also like I've taught people milk theory, and it takes like a week of practice to stop completely blowing milk all over the room, getting nothing but foam, or scalding the milk. A happy go lucky printed guide.....isn't going to fix that. You've got literally two spots you can steam into, you need to have the tip just right, and you need to basically play a minigame to keep the tip in the right spots to get great milk. Anything else is watery, blownout, or scalded. I'm sure people are getting great coffee here. The whole point of steaming is to rip apart the proteins so they flood the milk with sugar. At this point you might as well just have them microwave their milk.

I have so many loving questions about this thing. Are they backflushing the machine? Beans are an organic material mixed with water, they can't just be sitting inside a machine or they'll start molding/rotting fast. You have to actually backflush the heads daily. Are they taking out the excess grinds at night? You can't just have a bag of beans sitting around overnight, because it attracts tons of bugs. Where is all the milk going? You can't just pour it down a drain, it'll clog the drain extremely quickly, milk grease is a thing. Are they purging the Steam wands with dairy puro every night? Even purged some milk will stick inside the wand, and it'll rot inside there if you don't clean it out.

Are they loving cleaning the grinders? Beans are covered in oil, they'll clog the grinders incredibly fast if people aren't cleaning them out.

I'm dying. Literally dying. I'm sure this isn't super unusual for most office jobs and nobody cleans this poo poo and it's all moldy rotten hellholes, but this, this I can challenge.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 22:55

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

Rookersh posted:

Actual barista here. 10 years, working in Seattle. So many loving thoughts on that goddamn tweet. So many I had to reactivate my loving account I'm so baffled by it.

First off, YOU SHOULD NEVER. EVER. CHANGE THE loving GRIND. You change the grind with temperature, not by "what kind of shot you want.". Consistency and quality are going to deviate depending on how much moisture is in the room, and what kind of temperature range you are in. "More like a Ristretto" and "more watery" are both loving absolute lies. You are saying switch from fine tasting coffee, to either a super acidic or super bitter cup which is nearly undrinkable. Even worse, it takes almost a straight minute of grinding to reset the grinders from where they were, so you are wasting tons of coffee here for no real reason. Sucks if you came behind "Ristretto" guy who just switched it to 20 and then pulled a normal cup, and you get his super fine pull he left for you.

You shouldn't be doing 1 or 2 shots off mug or cup. It's not size based! It's what you are grinding for. If you are grinding 20 grams you want 2 shots. If you are grinding 14/16 you want 1. If you want a single and it's set and dialed in for 20 grams, just pull a double and then DROP THE OTHER HALF OF THE SHOT. 20 grams pulled at 1 is going to be WAY DIFFERENT then 16 grams pulled at 1. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Also if you want a Ristretto, just pull a 20 gram shot for only 20 seconds or so, until the dark brown starts disappearing.

30 seconds or so? WHAT. Is this automatic or manual? If it's automatic, the average shot should be 27-29ish for a double, or less for a single. Are you pulling 30 second singles here? What the hell is going on.

Milk foam starts coalescing instantly. It's why baristas pull shot first, then start steaming, so the shot finishes as the milk finishes. That means you have the most glossy easy to pour milk and the foam works with here. Here you've left the milk to the side for a few minutes so it can all gather up on top and clump up, then you can pour only liquid through it.

Also like I've taught people milk theory, and it takes like a week of practice to stop completely blowing milk all over the room, getting nothing but foam, or scalding the milk. A happy go lucky printed guide.....isn't going to fix that. You've got literally two spots you can steam into, you need to have the tip just right, and you need to basically play a minigame to keep the tip in the right spots to get great milk. Anything else is watery, blownout, or scalded. I'm sure people are getting great coffee here. The whole point of steaming is to rip apart the proteins so they flood the milk with sugar. At this point you might as well just have them microwave their milk.

I have so many loving questions about this thing. Are they backflushing the machine? Beans are an organic material mixed with water, they can't just be sitting inside a machine or they'll start molding/rotting fast. You have to actually backflush the heads daily. Are they taking out the excess grinds at night? You can't just have a bag of beans sitting around overnight, because it attracts tons of bugs. Where is all the milk going? You can't just pour it down a drain, it'll clog the drain extremely quickly, milk grease is a thing. Are they purging the Steam wands with dairy puro every night? Even purged some milk will stick inside the wand, and it'll rot inside there if you don't clean it out.

Are they loving cleaning the grinders? Beans are covered in oil, they'll clog the grinders incredibly fast if people aren't cleaning them out.

I'm dying. Literally dying. I'm sure this isn't super unusual for most office jobs and nobody cleans this poo poo and it's all moldy rotten hellholes, but this, this I can challenge.

I don't think you understand coffee development

# ? Oct 24, 2019 22:59

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

Rookersh posted:

Actual barista here. 10 years, working in Seattle. So many loving thoughts on that goddamn tweet. So many I had to reactivate my loving account I'm so baffled by it.

First off, YOU SHOULD NEVER. EVER. CHANGE THE loving GRIND. You change the grind with temperature, not by "what kind of shot you want.". Consistency and quality are going to deviate depending on how much moisture is in the room, and what kind of temperature range you are in. "More like a Ristretto" and "more watery" are both loving absolute lies. You are saying switch from fine tasting coffee, to either a super acidic or super bitter cup which is nearly undrinkable. Even worse, it takes almost a straight minute of grinding to reset the grinders from where they were, so you are wasting tons of coffee here for no real reason. Sucks if you came behind "Ristretto" guy who just switched it to 20 and then pulled a normal cup, and you get his super fine pull he left for you.

You shouldn't be doing 1 or 2 shots off mug or cup. It's not size based! It's what you are grinding for. If you are grinding 20 grams you want 2 shots. If you are grinding 14/16 you want 1. If you want a single and it's set and dialed in for 20 grams, just pull a double and then DROP THE OTHER HALF OF THE SHOT. 20 grams pulled at 1 is going to be WAY DIFFERENT then 16 grams pulled at 1. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Also if you want a Ristretto, just pull a 20 gram shot for only 20 seconds or so, until the dark brown starts disappearing.

30 seconds or so? WHAT. Is this automatic or manual? If it's automatic, the average shot should be 27-29ish for a double, or less for a single. Are you pulling 30 second singles here? What the hell is going on.

Milk foam starts coalescing instantly. It's why baristas pull shot first, then start steaming, so the shot finishes as the milk finishes. That means you have the most glossy easy to pour milk and the foam works with here. Here you've left the milk to the side for a few minutes so it can all gather up on top and clump up, then you can pour only liquid through it.

Also like I've taught people milk theory, and it takes like a week of practice to stop completely blowing milk all over the room, getting nothing but foam, or scalding the milk. A happy go lucky printed guide.....isn't going to fix that. You've got literally two spots you can steam into, you need to have the tip just right, and you need to basically play a minigame to keep the tip in the right spots to get great milk. Anything else is watery, blownout, or scalded. I'm sure people are getting great coffee here. The whole point of steaming is to rip apart the proteins so they flood the milk with sugar. At this point you might as well just have them microwave their milk.

I have so many loving questions about this thing. Are they backflushing the machine? Beans are an organic material mixed with water, they can't just be sitting inside a machine or they'll start molding/rotting fast. You have to actually backflush the heads daily. Are they taking out the excess grinds at night? You can't just have a bag of beans sitting around overnight, because it attracts tons of bugs. Where is all the milk going? You can't just pour it down a drain, it'll clog the drain extremely quickly, milk grease is a thing. Are they purging the Steam wands with dairy puro every night? Even purged some milk will stick inside the wand, and it'll rot inside there if you don't clean it out.

Are they loving cleaning the grinders? Beans are covered in oil, they'll clog the grinders incredibly fast if people aren't cleaning them out.

I'm dying. Literally dying. I'm sure this isn't super unusual for most office jobs and nobody cleans this poo poo and it's all moldy rotten hellholes, but this, this I can challenge.

After reading the above and understanding none of it, I for one am glad that I've completely skipped the "fancy coffee which is mostly frothy milk" stage that the western world is going through.

Welcome back though

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:06

fargom: Mar 21, 2007

All of the above is probably why my work (same machine as cig) has the grinder/machine set to a standard automatic amount/time that we don't change, and requires people to take at least a training class to use the drat machine. Steaming the milk is indeed the hardest part for me, a non barista. I've practiced with some people here who have been baristas in the past, but it's still something you're not gonna learn doing it 3-5 times a week so sometimes I just make a drink with a shot and some cold soymilk or something so I don't have to use the steam wand.

Also, we break down the machine every night and do a clean, everyone who is trained to use the machine is on a rotation to take a turn. Even after that since we are not professionals in the coffee business we have a vendor come in and do a check on the whole setup every now and then. I can't imagine how gross the thing would get without the daily attention.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:07

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Um, my coffee machine you just put ground coffee and water in and wait like two mintues

Sorry about yours

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:13

Zushio: May 8, 2008

You know, I DO need a new job. CIG got any branches in Canada?

Edit: Anyone know the tea status? Not a coffee fan.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:15

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

chaosapiant posted:

Yea, I'm following along in that thread. I'm just waiting for the Bethesda-CIG merger announcement any day now.

Could I have a link to the thread please? I crave more trainwreck.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:17

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Rookersh posted:

Actual barista here. 10 years, working in Seattle. So many loving thoughts on that goddamn tweet. So many I had to reactivate my loving account I'm so baffled by it.

First off, YOU SHOULD NEVER. EVER. CHANGE THE loving GRIND. You change the grind with temperature, not by "what kind of shot you want.". Consistency and quality are going to deviate depending on how much moisture is in the room, and what kind of temperature range you are in. "More like a Ristretto" and "more watery" are both loving absolute lies. You are saying switch from fine tasting coffee, to either a super acidic or super bitter cup which is nearly undrinkable. Even worse, it takes almost a straight minute of grinding to reset the grinders from where they were, so you are wasting tons of coffee here for no real reason. Sucks if you came behind "Ristretto" guy who just switched it to 20 and then pulled a normal cup, and you get his super fine pull he left for you.

You shouldn't be doing 1 or 2 shots off mug or cup. It's not size based! It's what you are grinding for. If you are grinding 20 grams you want 2 shots. If you are grinding 14/16 you want 1. If you want a single and it's set and dialed in for 20 grams, just pull a double and then DROP THE OTHER HALF OF THE SHOT. 20 grams pulled at 1 is going to be WAY DIFFERENT then 16 grams pulled at 1. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Also if you want a Ristretto, just pull a 20 gram shot for only 20 seconds or so, until the dark brown starts disappearing.

30 seconds or so? WHAT. Is this automatic or manual? If it's automatic, the average shot should be 27-29ish for a double, or less for a single. Are you pulling 30 second singles here? What the hell is going on.

Milk foam starts coalescing instantly. It's why baristas pull shot first, then start steaming, so the shot finishes as the milk finishes. That means you have the most glossy easy to pour milk and the foam works with here. Here you've left the milk to the side for a few minutes so it can all gather up on top and clump up, then you can pour only liquid through it.

Also like I've taught people milk theory, and it takes like a week of practice to stop completely blowing milk all over the room, getting nothing but foam, or scalding the milk. A happy go lucky printed guide.....isn't going to fix that. You've got literally two spots you can steam into, you need to have the tip just right, and you need to basically play a minigame to keep the tip in the right spots to get great milk. Anything else is watery, blownout, or scalded. I'm sure people are getting great coffee here. The whole point of steaming is to rip apart the proteins so they flood the milk with sugar. At this point you might as well just have them microwave their milk.

I have so many loving questions about this thing. Are they backflushing the machine? Beans are an organic material mixed with water, they can't just be sitting inside a machine or they'll start molding/rotting fast. You have to actually backflush rthe heads daily. Are they taking out the excess grinds at night? You can't just have a bag of beans sitting around overnight, because it attracts tons of bugs. Where is all the milk going? You can't just pour it down a drain, it'll clog the drain extremely quickly, milk grease is a thing. Are they purging the Steam wands with dairy puro every night? Even purged some milk will stick inside the wand, and it'll rot inside there if you don't clean it out.

Are they loving cleaning the grinders? Beans are covered in oil, they'll clog the grinders incredibly fast if people aren't cleaning them out.

I'm dying. Literally dying. I'm sure this isn't super unusual for most office jobs and nobody cleans this poo poo and it's all moldy rotten hellholes, but this, this I can challenge.

Lol, I just add hot water to my Nescaf�.

Nescaf� Ristretto

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:17

SPERMCUBE.ORG: Nov 3, 2011; Space commies are th' biggest threat t' red-blooded American Freedom we got in th' future. So me and my boys got to talking over a few hot dogs the other day and this is what we came up with...

Drink water.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:19

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Milk theory.

e: somebody post the picture of the CIG counter with their coffee machine. You know, the one that looks like someone took multiple shits on it.

trucutru fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Oct 24, 2019

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:21

fargom: Mar 21, 2007

Foo Diddley posted:

Um, my coffee machine you just put ground coffee and water in and wait like two mintues

Sorry about yours

Every office has the sludge pot my friend, I too am lazy and use this pot more often than the fancy espresso machine.

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:22

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

trucutru posted:

Lol, I just add hot water to my Nescaf�.

Nescaf� Ristretto

I'd consider that stuff a bit fancy tbh, this is about as far as I go:

Only going to piss it in the bog an hour after drinking it anyway

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:28

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

fargom posted:

Every office has the sludge pot my friend, I too am lazy and use this pot more often than the fancy espresso machine.

Mine's one step above the sludge pot; it keeps water hot so you don't have to wait on the water being heated, and it's got this thermos pot thing so the coffee stays hot without burning it on a hotpad. It's no $20k machine that makes ~science coffee~ but it's more than adequate for gettin' up in the morning. And seriously, who the gently caress can follow a 40-point checklist first thing after waking up

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:31

Dark Off: Aug 14, 2015

Rookersh posted:

Actual barista here. 10 years, working in Seattle. So many loving thoughts on that goddamn tweet. So many I had to reactivate my loving account I'm so baffled by it.

First off, YOU SHOULD NEVER. EVER. CHANGE THE loving GRIND. You change the grind with temperature, not by "what kind of shot you want.". Consistency and quality are going to deviate depending on how much moisture is in the room, and what kind of temperature range you are in. "More like a Ristretto" and "more watery" are both loving absolute lies. You are saying switch from fine tasting coffee, to either a super acidic or super bitter cup which is nearly undrinkable. Even worse, it takes almost a straight minute of grinding to reset the grinders from where they were, so you are wasting tons of coffee here for no real reason. Sucks if you came behind "Ristretto" guy who just switched it to 20 and then pulled a normal cup, and you get his super fine pull he left for you.

You shouldn't be doing 1 or 2 shots off mug or cup. It's not size based! It's what you are grinding for. If you are grinding 20 grams you want 2 shots. If you are grinding 14/16 you want 1. If you want a single and it's set and dialed in for 20 grams, just pull a double and then DROP THE OTHER HALF OF THE SHOT. 20 grams pulled at 1 is going to be WAY DIFFERENT then 16 grams pulled at 1. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Also if you want a Ristretto, just pull a 20 gram shot for only 20 seconds or so, until the dark brown starts disappearing.

30 seconds or so? WHAT. Is this automatic or manual? If it's automatic, the average shot should be 27-29ish for a double, or less for a single. Are you pulling 30 second singles here? What the hell is going on.

Milk foam starts coalescing instantly. It's why baristas pull shot first, then start steaming, so the shot finishes as the milk finishes. That means you have the most glossy easy to pour milk and the foam works with here. Here you've left the milk to the side for a few minutes so it can all gather up on top and clump up, then you can pour only liquid through it.

Also like I've taught people milk theory, and it takes like a week of practice to stop completely blowing milk all over the room, getting nothing but foam, or scalding the milk. A happy go lucky printed guide.....isn't going to fix that. You've got literally two spots you can steam into, you need to have the tip just right, and you need to basically play a minigame to keep the tip in the right spots to get great milk. Anything else is watery, blownout, or scalded. I'm sure people are getting great coffee here. The whole point of steaming is to rip apart the proteins so they flood the milk with sugar. At this point you might as well just have them microwave their milk.

I have so many loving questions about this thing. Are they backflushing the machine? Beans are an organic material mixed with water, they can't just be sitting inside a machine or they'll start molding/rotting fast. You have to actually backflush the heads daily. Are they taking out the excess grinds at night? You can't just have a bag of beans sitting around overnight, because it attracts tons of bugs. Where is all the milk going? You can't just pour it down a drain, it'll clog the drain extremely quickly, milk grease is a thing. Are they purging the Steam wands with dairy puro every night? Even purged some milk will stick inside the wand, and it'll rot inside there if you don't clean it out.

Are they loving cleaning the grinders? Beans are covered in oil, they'll clog the grinders incredibly fast if people aren't cleaning them out.

I'm dying. Literally dying. I'm sure this isn't super unusual for most office jobs and nobody cleans this poo poo and it's all moldy rotten hellholes, but this, this I can challenge.

now imagine dev doing all of this in middle of crunch period. And imagine someone loving up the coffee for roberts routine.
yeah i actually think that very few ppl actually use/ get to use that machine.
Most likely there is 1 or 2 guys that do the coffee's for select few..

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:31

Dark Off: Aug 14, 2015

trucutru posted:

Milk theory.

e: somebody post the picture of the CIG counter with their coffee machine. You know, the one that looks like someone took multiple shits on it.

https://twitter.com/robertsspaceind/status/839631816612962304

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:35

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

Rookersh posted:

Actual barista here. 10 years, working in Seattle. So many loving thoughts on that goddamn tweet. So many I had to reactivate my loving account I'm so baffled by it.

First off, YOU SHOULD NEVER. EVER. CHANGE THE loving GRIND. You change the grind with temperature, not by "what kind of shot you want.". Consistency and quality are going to deviate depending on how much moisture is in the room, and what kind of temperature range you are in. "More like a Ristretto" and "more watery" are both loving absolute lies. You are saying switch from fine tasting coffee, to either a super acidic or super bitter cup which is nearly undrinkable. Even worse, it takes almost a straight minute of grinding to reset the grinders from where they were, so you are wasting tons of coffee here for no real reason. Sucks if you came behind "Ristretto" guy who just switched it to 20 and then pulled a normal cup, and you get his super fine pull he left for you.

You shouldn't be doing 1 or 2 shots off mug or cup. It's not size based! It's what you are grinding for. If you are grinding 20 grams you want 2 shots. If you are grinding 14/16 you want 1. If you want a single and it's set and dialed in for 20 grams, just pull a double and then DROP THE OTHER HALF OF THE SHOT. 20 grams pulled at 1 is going to be WAY DIFFERENT then 16 grams pulled at 1. Ahhhhhhhhhh. Also if you want a Ristretto, just pull a 20 gram shot for only 20 seconds or so, until the dark brown starts disappearing.

30 seconds or so? WHAT. Is this automatic or manual? If it's automatic, the average shot should be 27-29ish for a double, or less for a single. Are you pulling 30 second singles here? What the hell is going on.

Milk foam starts coalescing instantly. It's why baristas pull shot first, then start steaming, so the shot finishes as the milk finishes. That means you have the most glossy easy to pour milk and the foam works with here. Here you've left the milk to the side for a few minutes so it can all gather up on top and clump up, then you can pour only liquid through it.

Also like I've taught people milk theory, and it takes like a week of practice to stop completely blowing milk all over the room, getting nothing but foam, or scalding the milk. A happy go lucky printed guide.....isn't going to fix that. You've got literally two spots you can steam into, you need to have the tip just right, and you need to basically play a minigame to keep the tip in the right spots to get great milk. Anything else is watery, blownout, or scalded. I'm sure people are getting great coffee here. The whole point of steaming is to rip apart the proteins so they flood the milk with sugar. At this point you might as well just have them microwave their milk.

I have so many loving questions about this thing. Are they backflushing the machine? Beans are an organic material mixed with water, they can't just be sitting inside a machine or they'll start molding/rotting fast. You have to actually backflush the heads daily. Are they taking out the excess grinds at night? You can't just have a bag of beans sitting around overnight, because it attracts tons of bugs. Where is all the milk going? You can't just pour it down a drain, it'll clog the drain extremely quickly, milk grease is a thing. Are they purging the Steam wands with dairy puro every night? Even purged some milk will stick inside the wand, and it'll rot inside there if you don't clean it out.

Are they loving cleaning the grinders? Beans are covered in oil, they'll clog the grinders incredibly fast if people aren't cleaning them out.

I'm dying. Literally dying. I'm sure this isn't super unusual for most office jobs and nobody cleans this poo poo and it's all moldy rotten hellholes, but this, this I can challenge.

with that kinda experience you should apply for lead AI programmer at cloud imperium

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:37

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

Dark Off posted:

https://twitter.com/robertsspaceind/status/839631816612962304

Before, when the fabled coffee machine was first installed:

So no one has to click the tweep to get the full glory of a proper claggy countertop:

Sabreseven fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Oct 24, 2019

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:39

Awesome!: Oct 17, 2008; Ready for adventure!

that looks like a highly used pizza stone that has had grease baked into it repeatedly

# ? Oct 24, 2019 23:48

jizzy sillage: Aug 13, 2006

Awesome! posted:

that looks like a highly used pizza stone that has had grease baked into it repeatedly

Ben was a hungry boy.

# ? Oct 25, 2019 00:08

colonelwest: Jun 30, 2018

Sanya Juutilainen posted:

La Marzocco - handmade espresso machine from Florence. Estimated price for (I think) 2-cup version: $10,800
Macap on demand grinder, MXDZ (estimated Xtreme as average): $2,000

Only half a Legatus pack! What a savings!

Meh it�s about 1/5 of the cost of the space office door in their LA studio and probably less than it costs to hire Garry Oldman for 10 minutes, so it rates at about a 0.5 on the Crobbler scale of crowdfunded profligacy.

# ? Oct 25, 2019 00:16

tak: Jan 31, 2003; lol demowned; Grimey Drawer

There are many things wrong about SC, but having an expensive coffee machine isn't one of them

# ? Oct 25, 2019 00:16

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# ? May 31, 2024 07:13

Astroniomix: Apr 24, 2015

tak posted:

There are many things wrong about SC, but having an expensive coffee machine isn't one of them

How they're apparently using it sure is.

# ? Oct 25, 2019 00:22

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Star Citizen: $48,000 is only $334/month for 12 years

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