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While there can be some general guidelines on age appropriate media (very, very general), it also is going to vary kid by kid. Whether or not your kids are ready for a particular movie has less to do with their age and more to do with their level of maturity. While that's tied to age to a degree, it's not absolute. One eight year old might be scared or not understand something, that another would be fine with. Like, my son is 15, and where at that age, I remember a lot of boys wanting things like GTA and R rated horror movies, and the like, but he has no interest in any of that, and doesn't handle it well. He can handle comic and cartoon violence, but anything that pushes the line of "too real" he can't. For myself, I was reading Stephen King novels at an age well before most parents would introduce them to their kids. I read The Stand (the unabridged edition) at like....eleven or so. And I was fine with it. Someone else my age may not have been. So, the real question is not are your kids at the right age for something, but are they at the right level of maturity, and would it even interest them in the first place.
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Nov 3, 2019 22:13
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Ar what age do kids generally start to understand consequences for their actions, like punishments? I hesitate to use the latter word, but my son is getting time to the point it’s time to start trying to nip some of the common negative toddler behavior in the bud. He’s 18mo on Tuesday. I feel pretty certain he understands a lot of what we say, and so it would follow that he understands simple things like, “don’t do that”, “don’t touch that”, “give that back now.” He ignores us generally and I’m about on my last nerve with it. He will pick up and play with things he almost certainly knows he’s not supposed to, and when we tell him to put them down or give them to us he ignores us completely or runs away, and when we take it from him he loses his poo poo. Sometimes he jerks it away from us and exclaims “NOOOO!” We know he understands because when he chooses to listen, for instance when he brings something to us when asked, he demonstrates it. But the most bothersome is telling him to follow us and he will for about a second and then turn the opposite direction and run away, if outside then toward the street. This is more than bothersome, it’s dangerous, and sometimes only changing my tone will make him stop. For smaller things we just ignore what he’s doing so he doesn’t keep doing it or stops eventually. For the bigger things we’ve started to become more consistent about time-out for one minute, in his play yard where he hates to stay. Just a half hour ago he chose to ignore me when I asked him to come to me, and I ended up having to put him in there. For the first time so far he didn’t cry, and I still gave it the whole minute and didn’t give him attention. When the minute was up I got him out and he smiled mischievously. Is poo poo going to have any effect, or is it going to do any good to start consequences now and head off some things that could become huge behavioral problems soon?
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Nov 3, 2019 22:36
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Ok why do we change the ding dang clocks? This is dumb and I have no idea if the baby thinks this nap is early bedtime but man was she hardcore melting down. Fml.
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Nov 3, 2019 23:02
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AngryRobotsInc posted:While there can be some general guidelines on age appropriate media (very, very general), it also is going to vary kid by kid. Whether or not your kids are ready for a particular movie has less to do with their age and more to do with their level of maturity. While that's tied to age to a degree, it's not absolute. One eight year old might be scared or not understand something, that another would be fine with. I think that all goes without saying. It's interesting to see what other people have done, though. It's not just maturity, either. Kids can find some things more scary or tense than others. My daughter, for example, is not that bothered by violence, but we had to stop reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone when Harry was sneaking around the school in his invisibility cloak. Basically she embodies the Hermione line, "you could have been killed, or worse, expelled".
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Nov 3, 2019 23:29
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BadSamaritan posted:Ok why do we change the ding dang clocks? This is dumb and I have no idea if the baby thinks this nap is early bedtime but man was she hardcore melting down. Fml. Hard same. I'm just going to put him down at the earlier time, deal with the early wakeup, and hope the structure at daycare sorts this out.
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Nov 4, 2019 00:00
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Renegret posted:My 9mo is still working through his 4 month regression. My good sir, our eldest celebrated his 4th Birthday this weekend. He still regularly wakes at 5 in the goddamn motherfucking morning, fresh as a loving daisy while I’m begging for a mug of coffee.
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Nov 4, 2019 00:16
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2DEG posted:Hard same. I'm just going to put him down at the earlier time, deal with the early wakeup, and hope the structure at daycare sorts this out. We managed to keep our 1 year old up an extra half hour tonight. But she will be up at the rear end crack of dawn, like usual. Except this time it will be 4:30 AM instead of 5:30. 
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Nov 4, 2019 00:50
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life is killing me posted:Ar what age do kids generally start to understand consequences for their actions, like punishments? I hesitate to use the latter word, but my son is getting time to the point it’s time to start trying to nip some of the common negative toddler behavior in the bud. He’s 18mo on Tuesday. Even if your 18 month old does understand well enough, impulse control is HARD and takes a long time to master. talking years for you yet. What you are describing is completely developmentally normal, and yes also frustrating. It helped me immensely to reframe it as "he can't do this yet" rather than "he's ignoring me" Also I think time outs I think for the under three crowd don't work in that they can't directly associate the action. For us it was just consistency in consequences that made sense. You run away? Now you get carried or strapped in the stroller. Throwing things you shouldn't? Sorry, can't play with that thing for a bit and it gets taken away. etc.
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Nov 4, 2019 01:09
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Sarah posted:We managed to keep our 1 year old up an extra half hour tonight. I usually shift bedtimes a half hour a couple days in advance and don't have too much trouble.
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Nov 4, 2019 01:48
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Super Slash posted:My good sir, our eldest celebrated his 4th Birthday this weekend. You need the Ok to Wake clock! We started using it around age 2 and he definitely ignored it for a long time but around 3 he started to obey it. We used to set it at 6am and have been able to move it back to almost 7:30 (he’s almost 4 now). Too bad his one year old brother is now carrying the baton for 5am wakeups. Re: consequences I don’t think that happens until 2.5 or so. That’s when we started being able to use bribes and threats (“do this and you get a lollipop” “stop doing that or I’m throwing your toy away”) and life was much improved.
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Nov 4, 2019 03:26
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devmd01 posted:If my children don’t think that Raiders Of the Lost Ark is one of the greatest movies ever, they’re dead to me. I tried and failed with that one, I figured the spiders in the opening scene or the music or the action would hold their attention. They wandered away before the ball came, I called them back in when it rolled, and when he got outside they wandered away again. By the time it got to the first classroom scene, they were done. I'll try again in a few years. And these are kids who have ridden the ride at Disneyland and listened to the music and sang along...but they just don't give a poo poo about the actual movie. Like with Star Wars, they like the costumes and the lightsabers and the rides at Disneyland but sit them down to watch any of the movies, and they wander away to build Legos or something. Kids ages 8, 6 and 5. Oh well, we'll try again someday.
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Nov 4, 2019 07:58
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AngryRobotsInc posted:For myself, I was reading Stephen King novels at an age well before most parents would introduce them to their kids. I read The Stand (the unabridged edition) at like....eleven or so. And I was fine with it. Someone else my age may not have been. This was also my first Stephen King book and I too read it at age 11! I didn’t know how to pronounce “phlegm” and would read it in my head as fel-jem until I did a book report on it, read it out loud, and was corrected by the teacher. My mom kept everything from when I was in school, and some of my written book reports have my mom’s handwriting on them, “She chooses her own books from the library, I didn’t know this was so scary/violent/adult/etc.”
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Nov 4, 2019 09:01
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Ugh. So from 18mo-2.5 years he is basically going to act like a poo poo head and we just have to shrug and bend over while he runs our house?
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Nov 4, 2019 13:19
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life is killing me posted:Ugh. No, you should say no, and redirect bad behavior. Kids that age don't really understand consequences, but they're also easy to distract.
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Nov 4, 2019 15:02
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PerniciousKnid posted:No, you should say no, and redirect bad behavior. Kids that age don't really understand consequences, but they're also easy to distract. Compared to most adults he’s easy to distract. Compared to many other kids his age, he isn’t at all. He loses his poo poo if I try to guide him elsewhere or pick him up and remove him from a situation or object.
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Nov 4, 2019 15:12
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No, you still enforce the consequence and understand he's probably gonna lose his poo poo. Kids can't handle big emotions so they lose their poo poo until their brains are mature enough that they can have a better handle on managing their emotions. That doesn't mean they get to run your house or do what they want without consequences. It sucks. It will eventually get better. Probably not at 2.5 though. sheri fucked around with this message at 15:20 on Nov 4, 2019 |
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Nov 4, 2019 15:14
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So one of my 11 month olds who had the adenoidectomy has seemingly put on like five pounds in the weeks since. He's gotten so chunky.Blinkz0rz posted:Glad I found this thread. My 3 year old is firmly in the shithead zone and neither my wife nor I have any idea how to handle his behavior. Warnings don't seem to have any affect. Taking away toys works sometimes but not always. Timeouts aren't a thing because we've never done them before. Hi_Bears posted:You need the Ok to Wake clock! We started using it around age 2 and he definitely ignored it for a long time but around 3 he started to obey it. We used to set it at 6am and have been able to move it back to almost 7:30 (he’s almost 4 now). Too bad his one year old brother is now carrying the baton for 5am wakeups. gvibes fucked around with this message at 17:04 on Nov 4, 2019 |
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Nov 4, 2019 16:58
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Hi_Bears posted:You need the Ok to Wake clock! We started using it around age 2 and he definitely ignored it for a long time but around 3 he started to obey it. We used to set it at 6am and have been able to move it back to almost 7:30 (he’s almost 4 now). Too bad his one year old brother is now carrying the baton for 5am wakeups. A regular alarm clock works just fine, too. We set an alarm at 7:30. If our daughter (~2.5y/o) wakes up before that, we tell her that it's nighttime and we can't get up yet, and that she has to be quiet now. This has worked wonders. A couple of days ago I woke up at 7ish, and stayed in bed dozing. She was fast asleep. A few minutes before 7:30, I hear her wake up. She starts whispering to herself, real quietly "it's nighttime. Can't talk. Can't talk nighttime". Then my phone's alarm goes off in the living room, and she instantly bolts upright, going "Dad get out of bed now!". Kids at that age can and will surprise you with what they can learn, but they need consistency.
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Nov 4, 2019 17:19
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life is killing me posted:Ugh. No definitely don’t let him be a shithead or run your house, but set your expectations appropriately. I liked the book No Bad Kids for some gentle discipline ideas for young kids.
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Nov 4, 2019 22:11
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my single friends have basically cut contact with me and every other parent with a child my age is either an insipid dimwit or my in-laws. this is stupid. people are stupid. dear coworkers stop asking me about my child we both know you don't give a poo poo. no i don't have any pictures to show you i only have pictures of these kittens i'm fostering.
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Nov 4, 2019 23:33
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:my single friends have basically cut contact with me and every other parent with a child my age is either an insipid dimwit or my in-laws. this is stupid. people are stupid. dear coworkers stop asking me about my child we both know you don't give a poo poo. no i don't have any pictures to show you i only have pictures of these kittens i'm fostering. Welcome 2 da club
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Nov 4, 2019 23:51
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BonoMan posted:Welcome 2 da club how many kittens do YOU have
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Nov 5, 2019 00:05
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:my single friends have basically cut contact with me and every other parent with a child my age is either an insipid dimwit or my in-laws. this is stupid. people are stupid. dear coworkers stop asking me about my child we both know you don't give a poo poo. no i don't have any pictures to show you i only have pictures of these kittens i'm fostering. For a good time, when a coworker asks how the baby is, tell them the God drat truth. Hey renegret how's the baby doing?? "He doesn't loving sleep, I want to die. Does anyone want to buy a baby?"
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Nov 5, 2019 01:52
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I tried that but then I just get bad advice like “put cereal in her bottle” and she rolls when I said the doctor doesn’t want to introduce solids before six months.
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Nov 5, 2019 02:20
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Renegret posted:For a good time, when a coworker asks how the baby is, tell them the God drat truth. This is one of the best things about this thread. Other parenting communities online lie about how it's so beautiful and easy being a parent to an infant, but this is the reality. Everyone feels this.
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Nov 5, 2019 03:53
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i hope the entire species dies out. we're a blight. a cancer. nothing humanity has ever accomplished has been worth the strife of making one more of us.
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Nov 5, 2019 03:58
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i hope the entire species dies out. we're a blight. a cancer. nothing humanity has ever accomplished has been worth the strife of making one more of us. It’s okay, the brain worms will take over soon and eat your memory of this period. This time next year you’ll think about newborns and sort of shrug because it’ll all be a hazy mess of ‘ehhh I guess it sort of sucked?’
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Nov 5, 2019 04:07
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i hope the entire species dies out. we're a blight. a cancer. nothing humanity has ever accomplished has been worth the strife of making one more of us. This is pretty close to what I felt like during my son’s 4-month sleep regression. I barely remember most of it because I was so tired all the goddamn time that most of what I do remember consists of stupid loving fights with my wife over really dumb poo poo because we were both zombies. What I remember the most is saying hundreds of times in the middle of the night, “Oh my loving poo poo tap dancing gently caress, he is awake again?!” and wondering when he would be so tired he literally couldn’t stay awake. The answer to that was basically never. I wanted to die. It gets rewarding later (intermittently) but the first few months the only reward you want is a big glass of Drano. Then you think you’re past it and your kid But I’m fine how is everyone?
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Nov 5, 2019 04:28
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me, two weeks into child rearing: wow this is quite a lot of work i let my wife talk me into my wife: now that you finished painting the nursery we can foster kittens again me: my wife: me: my wife: me: my wife: my two foster failure cats: my four foster kittens: we have literally NEVER BEEN FED in our ENTIRE LIVES my child, making GBS threads the bed: ALL COMFORT IS AN ILLUSION my hair: we exist exclusively in the shower drain, now
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Nov 5, 2019 04:43
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life is killing me posted:Compared to most adults he’s easy to distract. Compared to many other kids his age, he isn’t at all. He loses his poo poo if I try to guide him elsewhere or pick him up and remove him from a situation or object. Only temporarily. Geisladisk posted:A regular alarm clock works just fine, too. We set an alarm at 7:30. If our daughter (~2.5y/o) wakes up before that, we tell her that it's nighttime and we can't get up yet, and that she has to be quiet now. My 3yo doesn't have a fancy light so I just taught her to stay in bed until 7. Her story after I wake up: "I got up and you were sleeping so I went back to bed and I cried and then I calmed down and I read books in the playroom."
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Nov 5, 2019 04:58
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life is killing me posted:But I’m fine how is everyone? We're in the process of getting the 2.5y little demon to sleep right now. It's usually at least an hour long fight to get her to sleep, and then she'll wake up several times during the night. Sleep training has failed, hope is gone. To summarize, I'm fine too.
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Nov 5, 2019 05:02
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We hit a very important milestone today: she poo poo herself for the first time in a path that included the bathtub, my arm, and the changing table wall. I guess I made a rookie mistake of not just letting her stay in the bath until she finished. What was I thinking, like I was going to plug her up and shove it back in there?
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Nov 5, 2019 05:06
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My youngest is almost 3, and I am getting some serious baby fever before I hit menopause. We have 4 kids and life is insane, but that instinct of nurturing and caring for another little human is just so loving powerful. It's so stupid, and I get it's my hormones and the biological urge to perpetuate the species and all that, but I am going to be really sad to finally actually accept that I am done having children. And then my youngest starts screaming about something, or my 5-year old admits he was roughhousing in school, or my 6-year old gets sulky and refuses to answer basic questions, or my oldest has a goddamn tantrum about some stupid poo poo. And I am so grateful we are done.
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Nov 5, 2019 10:54
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It never ends, even once they're older. But only on days when there's no school. School days, the kid wants to sleep in and is a bear in the mornings. Today, no school because of elections? 5 AM, waking me up in my room upstairs, all chipper and "Good morning!" while collecting the dog to feed her, and then wandering downstairs and waking up my partner (we don't share a bed because snoring), by being as loud as humanly possible about getting his and the dog's breakfasts and turning on the TV.
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Nov 5, 2019 13:11
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Slimy Hog posted:This is one of the best things about this thread. Other parenting communities online lie about how it's so beautiful and easy being a parent to an infant, but this is the reality. Everyone feels this. I have a particular hate for mommy groups, and the poison they spread with their misinformation. I have a friend with a PHD in biology, with 2 kids who flips her poo poo on those groups all the time. Just yesterday she shared a screenshot of one, where the woman's daughter got an ear infection. She tried pouring breast milk in her baby's ear but it didn't work???? Top suggestions included taking her baby to a Chiropractor, and essential oils. I'm gonna TMI for a second, but we noticed our baby's penis was kinda weird and dirty these past few days, so on our 9 month checkup we asked the doctor, and she found a penile adhesion. She unstuck the adhesion and right underneath the head of his penis it was all red, raw and painful. We both had guilty parent moments for not noticing and fixing it earlier before it got so bad. By dumb luck, a parent on one of her mommy facebook groups had a simmilar story the next day, and the woman got loving roasted for daring to touch her baby's penis. Smegma is NATURAL and therefore GOOD FOR YOU, you see, and pulling it back to clean it out is SEXUAL ASSAULT. Nobody should ever touch him down there except himself, so I guess all of our sons need to have dirty, stinky, cheesy dicks for the first 3-4 years of their lives. The whole thread became this crazy echo chamber that just spiraled into insanity and these moms started spreading this insane misinformation, none of which I ever heard of in my life, but basically boiled down to, don't wash yo' dick. One thing I appreciate about something awful is that we're not afraid to eat our own here. If someone sincerely tried to argue against not washing their kid's privates because it's assault they'd be laughed out of the room. Renegret fucked around with this message at 13:31 on Nov 5, 2019 |
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Nov 5, 2019 13:28
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Renegret posted:I have a particular hate for mommy groups, and the poison they spread with their misinformation. I have a friend with a PHD in biology, with 2 kids who flips her poo poo on those groups all the time. Just yesterday she shared a screenshot of one, where the woman's daughter got an ear infection. She tried pouring breast milk in her baby's ear but it didn't work???? Top suggestions included taking her baby to a Chiropractor, and essential oils. Agreed, but here's the inverse of what you're describing... Wife: "OMG HE HAS RED SPOTS ALL OVER HIS FACE AND FOREHEAD IT'S HFM" Me: He's been screaming bloody murder for like twenty minutes, willing to bet that's why he's-- Wife: "CALL THE DOCTOR RIGHT NOW" Me: It's Satur-- Wife: "EMERGENCY ROOM WHATEVER" In other news, night four of traumatic wake ups for our 18mo. No matter how exhausted he is (didn't get him to bed until almost 9 despite our attempts to leave our social gathering earlier), he will wake up right when I, a guy who takes awhile to get to sleep, start to nod off in bed. It's like, I know you loving know how to put yourself back to sleep, what is the goddamn deal? Every night it's been, wait ten minutes, screaming gets louder and more intense, I go in there and put him back to sleep after twenty minutes of unabated, blood-curdling poo poo fits for no apparent reason at all. He's had a diaper rash for a few days which we've held in check, and I've never seen it hurt him this much, but unsure if we've entered some kind of sleep regression we don't know about. I'm exhausted, need a break from literally everything and anxiety is hitting me hard the last couple months, and I can't ask my wife to get up and rock him back to sleep when she has to wake up in four hours. If it was night terrors or nightmares, I feel like it wouldn't happen multiple nights in a row. Every time. Literally every time we think we're on good sleep with him for good, poo poo like this. I do get breaks every so often (I also keep him home two days a week and work to run my own business), but 2-3 hours every other week doesn't feel like enough and all I want is some weed
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Nov 5, 2019 14:37
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I actually lucked into a really decent, sane, science-literate mommy group through The Bump, of all things. As far as pregnancy forums went they had pretty strict community standards and were happy to call woo out for what it was. They’ve been really helpful for support and advice. Not to say there aren’t batshit groupthink groups out there, but if you can find a good one they can be really positive, especially if you don’t have many irl parent friends/relatives.
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Nov 5, 2019 15:16
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BadSamaritan posted:I actually lucked into a really decent, sane, science-literate mommy group through The Bump, of all things. As far as pregnancy forums went they had pretty strict community standards and were happy to call woo out for what it was. My wife recently became a mod in a woo free evidence based parenting group. She likes the group well enough, but forums drama... forums drama never changes.
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Nov 5, 2019 17:50
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life is killing me posted:Agreed, but here's the inverse of what you're describing... We had a sleep regression around then, and it sucks, but it will end. Just keep up your routines and talk about the sweet release of death with your partner like I did.
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Nov 5, 2019 22:19
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femcastra posted:We had a sleep regression around then, and it sucks, but it will end. Just keep up your routines and talk about the sweet release of death with your partner like I did. Yeah, I'm just now reading about it. I kind of thought the sleep regressions were a thing of the past, but nope. He's doing the thing where he refuses to go back to sleep even though he knows how, and his screaming becomes worse and worse--I can never tell if he is screaming because he's in pain or scared and actually NEEDS us, or just because he WANTS us in there. We had him trained but good, he might wake up occasionally and then go back to sleep by himself, but now it's like NOPE, COME IN HERE NOW. Sigh.
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Nov 5, 2019 23:23
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