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Epilogue: Treatyquote:Almost everything was back to normal—the good, pre-zombie normal—in less time than I would have believed possible. The hospital welcomed Carlisle back with eager arms, not even bothering to conceal their delight that Esme had found life in L.A. so little to her liking. Thanks to the Calculus test I’d missed while abroad, Alice and Edward were in better shape to graduate than I was at the moment. Suddenly, college was a priority (college was still plan B, on the off chance that Edward’s offer swayed me from the post-graduation Carlisle option). Many deadlines had passed me by, but Edward had a new stack of applications for me to fill out every day. He’d already done the Harvard route, so it didn’t bother him that, thanks to my procrastination, we might both end up at Peninsula Community College next year. You'd think if Edward kept going to college every decade he would eventually learn basic social interaction. quote:Charlie was not happy with me, or speaking to Edward. But at least Edward was allowed—during my designated visiting hours—inside the house again. I just wasn’t allowed out of it. Yep, this is one of those books where no lesson is learned. No growth is made. The status quo returns and Bella can remain as crazy as always. quote:Almost, but not quite. There was the house arrest situation, for one thing. And for another, before the fall, I hadn’t been best friends with Jacob Black. So, of course, I hadn’t missed him then. I would criticize Bella for behaving like these aren't real people and are just players in a fantasy revolving around her and her specialness, but... quote:Weeks passed, and Jacob still wouldn’t answer my calls. It started to become a constant worry. Like a dripping faucet in the back of my head that I couldn’t shut off or ignore. Drip, drip, drip. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. Are you sure? quote:“Feels that way,” I muttered, folding my arms across my chest. It was no more than a stubborn gesture. There was no hole there now—I could barely remember the empty feeling anymore. It's a really great social life when your boyfriend and best friend/crush both want to literally murder each other and have to keep their distance to avoid doing so. quote:I remembered what Jacob had said in the kitchen, hearing the words with perfect recall in his husky voice. I’m not sure that I’m even-tempered enough to handle that.… You probably wouldn’t like it so much if I killed your friend. But he’d been able to handle it, that time.… Is it, though? quote:“Well,” I said, and took a deep breath, shaking my head to dispel the words in my head. “Nothing like that is ever going to happen, so there’s no reason to worry about it. And you know Charlie’s staring at the clock right now. You’d better get me home before I get in more trouble for being late.”  quote:Edward glanced back at Charlie’s house. I followed his gaze, and noticed for the first time what was parked in the driveway next to the cruiser. Shiny, bright red, impossible to miss. My motorcycle, flaunting itself in the driveway. There's, uh, a reason a lot of people don't like Jacob as the books go on. quote:What had I done to deserve this? Charlie was going to be so mad—and worse than that, he was going to be hurt and worried. Didn’t he have enough to deal with already? I would have never imagined that Jake could be so petty and just plain mean. Tears sprang, smarting, into my eyes, but they were not tears of sadness. I had been betrayed. I was suddenly so angry that my head throbbed like it was going to explode. The girl who nearly rammed Edward's car in the first book over a minor slight and only started a friendship with Jacob to manipulate him into feeding her insanity is now upset that this could happen to her? quote:“Is he still here?” I hissed. Remember when Jacob almost wolfed out and tore you to shreds in his car just from hearing about something stressful? Also remember when we were getting told over and over that Bella isn't at all violent and it's really unusual for her to want to hurt people? quote:“Jacob Black wants to see me. That’s why he’s still here.” I'm confused. Alice's future vision can't see werewolves, but Edward can read their minds? quote:Edward looked at the house again, then tightened his arm around my waist and pulled me toward the woods. “We should hurry. Charlie’s getting impatient.” I mentioned before that casting Jacob and Edward to accurate heights would have been impossible without a lot of manipulation on set. Jacob is canonically 6'7 at this point while Edward is 6'2 and Bella is 5'4. Combined with the muscles, he's built like Fabio-esque romance novel cover art. quote:But Edward stopped as soon as we saw him, leaving a wide space between us and Jacob. Edward turned his body, shifting me so that I was behind him. I leaned around him to stare at Jacob—to accuse him with my eyes. God she just went for the lowest blow she could right at the start. quote:Jacob winced, and his eyebrows pulled together, but he didn’t answer. Because that's what you do when you love someone, right? When they get back with their ex, you reveal all the rules they broke so their parents ground them? On the other hand, Bella was about as lovely to Jacob... quote:Jacob shuddered once, and then gritted his teeth as hard as his fists. “Bella wasn’t exaggerating about your… abilities,” he said through his teeth. “So you must already know why I’m here.” Yeah, Edward's powers work just fine and presumably every other one does except for Alice! This seems to confirm for me that Meyer quickly threw in "Alice's powers don't work on werewolves" to patch a plot hole with her cliff dive. quote:“Yes,” Edward agreed in a soft voice. “But, before you begin, I need to say something.” Does it really count if the mistakes you make are really loving huge? quote:I was immersed momentarily in his golden gaze. It wasn’t hard to understand what I’d missed in the conversation. The only thing that Jacob would want from Edward would be his absence. Remember earlier in the book when we spent an entire chapter on an awkward movie double-date with Jacob? quote:“We haven’t forgotten,” Edward said at the same time that I demanded, “What key points?” This is what, the third time you've almost transformed out of rage talking to her? quote:Neither Edward nor I missed the inflection, or the accusation it contained. A low hiss escaped Edward’s lips. Jacob clenched his fists reflexively. I really want Charlie to just run into every stupid confrontation in these books and start slapping people upside the head until they start behaving. quote:“Just one more thing,” Edward said to me, and then he looked at Jacob. “We’ve found no trace of Victoria on our side of the line—have you?” Is there also some magic to the werewolf awakening that causes them to immediately start behaving in the most stereotypical manner possible? Jacob has (according to the Lexicon timeline) been a werewolf for 46 days. Less than 2 months is all it's taken him to go from the happy-go-lucky Monster Garage fan to speaking in overwrought dramatics about treaties and marking his territory. quote:“No—,” I began to protest both declarations. I feel like Bella would be safe from the Volturi if she kept living with Charlie. He'd be dragging Aro out by the ear and Jane's powers would never work on him because his ex-wife and daughter have already hurt him enough. quote:“Let’s go,” Edward said. Okay, this is the right dramatic point to end the scene. You can end it right here. It's okay. quote:Like we were connected, the echo of his pain twisted inside me. His pain, my pain. Oh, or we could just drag it out and keep going in circles even longer. quote:“ISABELLA SWAN!” Charlie's just trying to get the plot moving at this point. quote:I tugged on him and he relaxed a little. He pulled me back slowly, always keeping his eyes on Jacob as we retreated. The friend who you only made your friend for your own selfish benefit? quote:Edward kept his arm tight around my waist, holding me close. That was the only thing that held the tears inside my eyes. Charlie is the only human who can kill a vampire with his bare hands. quote:I drew in a deep breath. And, thank Christ, we're finally halfway through this goddamn series. I almost want to apologize to everyone who's had to struggle through this book with me. I was really hoping that I could find some kind of silver lining in Meyer's writing that would explain its popularity, but it's just crap. Not merely bad, but actively reinforces some extremely unhealthy behavior for the young audience of these books. Bella Swan is one of the most unlikable YA protagonists I've ever had the misfortune of reading, starting out the series merely dull and whiny and quickly adding on onionlike layers of craziness that the author justifies as a sign of her devotion to her one true love. The next book, Eclipse, picks up a month after these events; despite the incredible length of the books, they drag on so much that the entire plot takes place over only 2 years. As many as 3 chapters occur one after the other on the same day! The only vaguely positive thing I can say about Eclipse is that the plot will finally wrap up everything with Victoria and let her actually be seen on the page. While The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner takes place over the same time period, I have very little incentive to expose myself to more of Meyer's writing than I have to. Oh, the Kindle copy here has a preview of Life and Death, the gender-swapped remake of the first book. It seems to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever over the original and can be ignored; the actual writing is vastly improved and reads more like the later books than the unedited first draft that is the original Twilight, but it's in the sense of just rewriting passages to have some better wording and flow better than the incredibly dull prose it had before. The dialogue and actions people take are all virtually the same, which means all the problems that aren't related to the boring prose are the same. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 15:39 on Oct 30, 2019 |
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Oct 30, 2019 15:35
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I mostly enjoyed this series when I read it in slow times at work in my mid 20s. The low points were this entire book and the first half of book 4. I recall book 3 being enjoyable enough. You get a lot more on screen interactions with the side vampires and werewolves which are of course more fun to read about than the J.E.B. triangle. Plus some crunchy Jasper backstory woo.
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Oct 31, 2019 04:16
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Eclipse changes up the quote again, this time a poem:quote:Some say the world will end in fire, Oh my God, she predicted the end of Game of Thrones! Preface quote:All our attempts at subterfuge had been in vain. Spoilers: we get to learn the outcome of the fight right when Bella does because it never happens on the page. Chapter 1: Ultimatum quote:Bella, Wait, you gave her the loving note with all your crossed-out insulting openers on it? Is Jacob that dumb or is this some kind of weird flex on her? quote:While I was pondering this, I caught the unmistakable scent of a smoking burner rising from the kitchen. In another house, the fact that someone besides myself was cooking might not be a cause for panicking. Charlie Swan: mechanic, police chief, somehow never learned about metal and microwaves? Also this little bit is a perfect example of how Meyer is still padding out her writing. We don't need to know every step Bella took to help her dad not microwave a full jar of spaghetti sauce and how she put the half-empty jar in the fridge. That line could be half the length it is. quote:Charlie watched my adjustments with pursed lips. “Did I get the noodles right?” There's actually something more sad than comedic about this when you consider Charlie's past. He had to spend so much of his time caring for his parents that he probably had to forego what many would consider basic life skills. He would have been too exhausted to do more than microwave frozen dinners every day, punctuated by sobbing over his wife stealing their daughter. quote:“So what’s all this about?” I asked him. You want to be with him for the rest of time, but not married? Are you going to get bride cooties or something? quote:“Did I miss something? Since when do you make dinner?” I asked Charlie. The pasta lump bobbed in the boiling water as I poked it. “Or try to make dinner, I should say.” Having disarmed himself, Charlie is the only good cop. quote:I prodded the noodles in silence, guessing that Charlie would get around to talking about whatever was bothering him in his own time. My dad was not a man of many words, and the effort he had put into trying to orchestrate a sit-down dinner with me made it clear there were an uncharacteristic number of words on his mind. I feel like these should be reversed? A licensed driver riding a motorcycle she legally owns (albeit without a motorcycle license) should get you in a lot less trouble than nearly drowning on a hundred-foot cliff dive during a storm and disappearing out of state for three days to hysterically stop your ex from committing suicide. One of those gets you a citation, the other gets you put on an involuntary hold by large men in scrubs. quote:Of course, I still saw Edward at school, because there wasn’t anything Charlie could do about that. And then, Edward spent almost every night in my room, too, but Charlie wasn’t precisely aware of that. Edward’s ability to climb easily and silently through my second-story window was almost as useful as his ability to read Charlie’s mind. But hey, gently caress your dad I guess. quote:My dad sat down at the table with a grunt and unfolded the damp newspaper there; within seconds he was clucking his tongue in disapproval. In fact, at the time this book takes place Phoenix had a homicide rate three times higher than Seattle! quote:“Well, you couldn’t pay me enough,” Charlie said. She needs to remind herself what kind of man she's dating? Also, Wuthering Heights takes place between the 1770s and 1801. Hardly a "turn-of-the-century" novel even if you're not using that phrasing to refer to the turn of the 20th century like most people. quote:I was just to the part where Heathcliff returns when Charlie cleared his throat and threw the paper to the floor. What are you, an animal in your own house? quote:“You’re right,” Charlie said. “I did have a reason for doing this.” He waved his fork at the gluey spread. “I wanted to talk to you.” By depriving her of food? quote:I laughed. “It worked—your cooking skills have me soft as a marshmallow. What do you need, Dad?” Another awkward movie date? quote:Charlie’s voice got gruffer. “I let him in the house, don’t I?” Have you been hearing the same loving Bella we have? quote:My voice and eyebrows shot up. “Seriously? I’m free?” "Do literally none of the poo poo you did in the last book." quote:He sighed again. “I know you’re satisfied to spend all of your time with Edward—” Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh quote:“That’s true,” he said. “But you have other friends besides the Cullens, Bella. Or you used to.” Meyer seems to be trying to paint this as simple high school squabbles and cliquishness, but I don't think it can be forgotten that the most we ever saw of Bella's apologies was her going "Yeah, sorry about that" once to the very girl she terrified with her dissociative fugue. She just tried to get right back to her relationships like everything was normal and we never saw any further apology on the page, so it's not hard to assume she didn't do anything extra. It's not "evil" to refuse to associate with someone who did dangerous crazy poo poo and then tried to pretend like it was just a phase! quote:With Edward back at school, the dividing line had become even more distinct. You mean the charm that's supernaturally granted to them as part of their vampiric abilities to make them attractive to prey? quote:“Outside of school?” Charlie asked, calling my attention back. To my knowledge: no, the book never says that Bella should get a life outside of Edward. quote:“Maybe, maybe not.” Because you don't want them to get caught up in the world of the supernatural, or because you need to resist the urge to eat them? quote:So what was the better course of action? Spend time with them while I could? Or start the separation now to make it more gradual? I quailed at the idea of the second option. "I miss all the times I could manipulate his crush to get attention and a motorcycle!" quote:“Then why is it difficult?” Not yet! quote:“You’re hurting Jake’s feelings, avoiding him like this. He’d rather be just friends than nothing.” Keeping in mind that Billy actually knows Jacob's secret and the identity of the Cullens, his encouragement for them to remain friends should actually be extremely meaningful. quote:“Billy’s worried about Jacob,” Charlie said. “Jake’s having a hard time right now.… He’s depressed.” "We already made all the merch..." quote:“Good. Find that balance, Bella. And, oh, yeah, you’ve got some mail,” Charlie said, closing the subject with no attempt at subtlety. “It’s by the stove.” The campus she's going to in Juneau has fewer than 4000 students currently. It's a tiny campus squeezed between a lake and a bay. quote:“Thanks, Dad.” And it's cold most of the year, which I'm sure Bella "I hate everything but direct sunlight" Swan will be totally okay with before she becomes a vampire. quote:“I’ve got it covered. Besides, there’s lots of financial aid out there. It’s easy to get loans.” I hoped my bluff wasn’t too obvious. I hadn’t actually done a lot of research on the subject. And we need to cut this chapter in half because it's long as hell!
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Nov 4, 2019 22:48
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quote:I wrenched the door out of my way—ridiculously eager—and there he was, my personal miracle. I'm getting really tired of Bella being dazzled into a stupor by Edward, but have you ever noticed how that's all she ever says positively about him? There's virtually nothing that she likes about his character or how he treats her, and his behavior in a relationship seems to waver between generic boyfriend stuff like "Kisses my forehead and cuddles me" and bizarre creepiness. It's always focused on his inhumanly good looks and nothing else. quote:It was a face any male model in the world would trade his soul for. Of course, that might be exactly the asking price: one soul. That is horribly creepy. quote:I knew that the scent of my blood—so much sweeter to him than any other person’s blood, truly like wine beside water to an alcoholic—caused him actual pain from the burning thirst it engendered. But he didn’t seem to shy away from it as much as he once had. I could only dimly imagine the Herculean effort behind this simple gesture. So he...intentionally exposes himself to it? When a single slip could cause him to sever her wrist with one bite? quote:It made me sad that he had to try so hard. I comforted myself with the knowledge that I wouldn’t be causing him pain much longer. Oh gently caress you. quote:Charlie grunted at him, and then stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. He was taking the idea of parental supervision to extremes lately. This girl is completely divorced from reality and we're expected to be on her side as the readers. quote:“I brought another set of applications,” Edward told me then, holding up a stuffed manila envelope. He was wearing a roll of stamps like a ring around his littlest finger. Somehow with each chapter Edward manages to be more insufferable. quote:Charlie huffed and followed behind, though he could hardly complain about the activity on tonight’s agenda. He’d been pestering me to make a decision about college on a daily basis. It's just this awful smugness to everything he does. it almost feels like he gets worse as the series goes on. quote:“Harvard? Dartmouth?” Charlie mumbled, unable to conceal his awe. “Well that’s pretty… that’s something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska… you wouldn’t really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to…” He loving knows. quote:“Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom…?” If I were Charlie I would have given up on Bella's safety a long time ago. quote:“Dad! What’s the problem?” Because there's definitely not any vampires still hanging around the area (only a few hours from Seattle) that would be interested in hunting you down, right? Seattle is vampire free? quote:It worked. Charlie stared at Edward for one second more, and then shrugged. “Fine.” He stalked off toward the living room, in a bit of a hurry now—maybe he didn’t want to miss tip-off. "It's not even pronounced normally!" quote:Edward lifted the discarded application and laid it gently in front of me again. “I think you’d like New Hampshire,” he said. “There’s a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife.” He pulled out the crooked smile he knew I couldn’t resist. Are we sure they're even in love? Honest question. They keep making out and Bella gets all woozy when she sees him for the first time in the day, but so many of their interactions are fraught with this tension that sounds like they can't stand each other. quote:“What are you doing?” I demanded. They go about the possibility of Bella surrendering her immortal soul and being at risk of devouring everyone around her for several years with all the gravitas of...well, picking a college. quote:“I thought the timing was still undecided,” Edward reminded me softly. “You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you’ve never had.” A second chance at learning just how hammered you can get at a sorority kegger! quote:I sighed. “You’ve got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward. It’s just too dangerous to mess around with.” Remember what I said about this book taking place on a super short timeline? It's only a year after the epilogue of the first book, where Bella threw a fit about going to prom. Even with New Moon including 7 months of timeskip, we've seen drat near every day of Bella and Edward's lives since it began and usually only skip a few days at most between chapters. quote:A sharp jolt of unease pierced my stomach as I realized how short the time really was. Of course this change was necessary—and the key to what I wanted more than everything else in the world put together—but I was deeply conscious of Charlie sitting in the other room enjoying his game, just like every other night. And my mother, Renée, far away in sunny Florida, still pleading with me to spend the summer on the beach with her and her new husband. And Jacob, who, unlike my parents, would know exactly what was going on when I disappeared to some distant school. Even if my parents didn’t grow suspicious for a long time, even if I could put off visits with excuses about travel expenses or study loads or illnesses, Jacob would know the truth. It won't last long, though! quote:“Bella,” Edward murmured, his face twisting when he read the distress in mine. “There’s no hurry. I won’t let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need.” Someone slap this idiot. quote:His teeth clenched; he spoke through them. “You have no idea what you’re saying.” Abruptly, he flung the damp newspaper onto the table in between us. His finger stabbed the headline on the front page: This sets Bella's ignorance into even sharper clarity. Even when faced with solid evidence of how much danger there is in her transformation, she still can't think more than one step ahead. "I must be with Edward forever, therefore I must become a vampire." quote:I tried not to see the names on the page, but they jumped out from the rest of the print like they were in bold. The five people whose lives were over, whose families were mourning now. It was different from considering murder in the abstract, reading those names. Maureen Gardiner, Geoffrey Campbell, Grace Razi, Michelle O’Connell, Ronald Albrook. People who’d had parents and children and friends and pets and jobs and hopes and plans and memories and futures.… Bella and Emmett: Bear Hunters quote:“Better,” he allowed. “There are polar bears, too. Very fierce. And the wolves get quite large.” *wild gesticulation at the previous book* quote:I took a deep breath. “I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And it’s one of Charlie’s conditions, anyway—” At least it's not Harry Potter. quote:“Photographic memory or not, I don’t understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly people who ruin each others’ lives. I don’t know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isn’t a love story, it’s a hate story.” God knows there's no similarities to this book! quote:“You have some serious issues with the classics,” I snapped. Is....is Meyer being self-aware? I can't tell if this is seriously her taking the piss about her characters or just being oblivious. quote:“It’s a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with,” I pointed out. “But even without the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well.” And the cliff diving, and the motorcycle crash... quote:Edward heard my heart accelerate and nodded as if I’d acknowledged the lie aloud. “Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed.” Hoquiam is the town bordering Aberdeen (home of Kurt Cobain!), about 100 miles south of Forks. At the time the Cullens moved in, it was a small logging and paper town. quote:“We thought the line had died out with Ephraim,” Edward muttered; it sounded like he was talking to himself now. “That the genetic quirk which allowed the transmutation had been lost.…” He broke off and stared at me accusingly. “Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we’d have a weapon of mass destruction on our hands.” There's some unfortunate implications with the white guy saying this about the Native Americans here. quote:I ignored the ribbing, my attention caught by his assumption—was he serious? “But I didn’t bring them back. Don’t you know?” This ensemble cast is big enough, dammit! quote:I knew I must be patient with Edward. It wasn’t that he was unreasonable, it was just that he didn’t understand. He had no idea how very much I owed Jacob Black—my life many times over, and possibly my sanity, too. Instead of just...talking to him? quote:I got up and walked around the table. He opened his arms for me and I sat on his lap, nestling into his cool stone embrace. I looked at his hands while I spoke. "I'm sure things would have been better if I was less disturbed!" isn't really the personality you want for your relatable protagonist. quote:“If I’d never left, you wouldn’t feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a dog.” Everyone here is an rear end in a top hat! quote:“I don’t know how to phrase this properly,” Edward said, and his tone was bleak. “It’s going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I’ve come too close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am not going to tolerate anything dangerous.” Christ alive, this girl is a shithead. I don't know if I can handle the whole series. quote:“Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?” He pulled me tighter against his hard chest, tucking my head under his chin. That's a pretty terrifyingly abusive thing to say! quote:“We’ll see about that,” I bluffed anyway. “He’s still my friend.”
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Nov 5, 2019 14:17
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Edit: Double post
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Nov 5, 2019 14:18
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chitoryu12 posted:Is....is Meyer being self-aware? I can't tell if this is seriously her taking the piss about her characters or just being oblivious. That's the thing that gets me about these books. I'll think she's just being oblivious and writinga remarkably bad love story between horrible people without realizing it, then she'll throw in something like that, and I'll wonder if she does know how horrible these people and this relationship is.
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Nov 5, 2019 17:12
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Epicurius posted:That's the thing that gets me about these books. I'll think she's just being oblivious and writinga remarkably bad love story between horrible people without realizing it, then she'll throw in something like that, and I'll wonder if she does know how horrible these people and this relationship is. All of the stuff she writes and says about the books makes me think she really doesn't understand what she's written. Especially at the height of Twilight's popularity, she got pretty adamant about defending her characters' actions to the point of summarizing all of New Moon from Jacob's perspective to make him seem less manipulative. Das Sporking did a much longer (and harder to read thanks to the writer's hysteric hatred of the books) sporking of the series and posted some of what Meyer wrote answering a fan question about the morality of the Cullens' "slip-ups" in losing control and killing people, especially in Edward totally giving into his hunger and killing hundreds of people over years. quote:The Cullens do not look down on humans. Other Twilight vampires see humans as beef or poultry, it's true. And it's a hard viewpoint to resist — after all, vampires are physically and mentally superior to the nth degree. Their life spans measure in centuries and millenniums. Human lives are so short — sort of like fruit flies that only live a day in comparison. Humans die so easily, too, in their sleep, from tripping, from a tiny heart glitch, from a virus, from getting bumped a little too hard by a car. It's sort of hard for an average vampire to take them seriously. They're going to die soon anyway, right? (I know it might be difficult to step away from a human perspective and see it through their eyes. The question is, is it really wrong for them to see the world that way? Vampires are at the very pinnacle of the food chain. Should they feel bad about that? Or are they simply following the dictates of nature?) This is why Bella shows such little reaction to learning that Edward was a serial killer for a time: because Meyer finds it reasonable.
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Nov 5, 2019 17:18
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chitoryu12 posted:This is why Bella shows such little reaction to learning that Edward was a serial killer for a time: because Meyer finds it reasonable.. The, maybe twisted, thing is that I think its reasonable too. I mean, I don't disagree with what Meyer writes there about vampire morality or their viewpoint. I'm sure if I were an immortal physically and mentally enhanced preditor who outlives all my loved ones, needed blood to survive and had an orgasm whenever I ate human blood, and gave off pheremones/an aura/whatever that made humans trust me and think I was beautiful, I'd start thinking of humans as not worthy or moral consideration either. That being said, as a human encountering something like that, my instinct would be either run like hell or kill it with fire. Epicurius fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Nov 5, 2019 |
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Nov 5, 2019 17:26
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Epicurius posted:The, maybe twisted, thing is that I think its reasonable too. I mean, I don't disagree with what Meyer writes there about vampire morality or their viewpoint. I'm sure if I were an immortal physically and mentally enhanced preditor who outlives all my loved ones, needed blood to survive and had an orgasm whenever I ate human blood, and gave off pheremones/an aura/whatever that made humans trust me and think I was beautiful, I'd start thinking of humans as not worthy or moral consideration either. It's Bella's reaction to it that's the biggest problem. Edward doesn't treat it like a big deal and even laughs a little at first, which should send anyone running screaming (especially because he had no noble intentions; he outright says that it's because he resented Carlisle for trying to get him to suppress his hunger and behave morally). But Bella brushes it off and barely even brings it up again, and Meyer's writing seems to suggest that we're supposed to take any of Bella's opinions that aren't proven wrong at face value and agree with them.
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Nov 5, 2019 20:58
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So far the weirdest thing is finding out Meyer's least favourite food is shepherd's pie, while her favourite is beef and potatoes.
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Nov 6, 2019 00:42
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Chapter 2: Evasionquote:I felt oddly buoyant as I walked from Spanish toward the cafeteria, and it wasn’t just because I was holding hands with the most perfect person on the planet, though that was certainly part of it. She's just such a depressing person. quote:No, it must be my personal freedom that lightened me today. The ending of the school year did not give me the pleasure it seemed to give the other students. Actually, I felt nervous to the point of nausea whenever I thought of it. I tried to not think of it. Ben Chaney was unimportant enough that the film combined him with Eric. This conveniently also allows them to pair up the two Asians on the cast (which, of course, isn't an issue in the books because everyone in Meyer's Forks is white!). quote:“No,” I answered Angela. “There’s no point, really. Renée knows when I’m graduating. Who else is there?” Alice mailed a glitter bomb with her announcement to La Push. quote:“Lucky you.” Angela sighed. “My mother has a thousand cousins and she expects me to hand-address one to everybody. I’m going to get carpal tunnel. I can’t put it off any longer and I’m just dreading it.” I know just enough about this book to know that a lot of it is going to be taken up by a spat between Edward and Jacob and it's probably going to get really annoying really fast. quote:Angela looked relieved. “That’s so nice of you. I’ll come over any time you want.” Meyer keeps making Alice a more interesting person to follow. For all the stress of living as a vampire, she seems to have really embraced the wealth and power it's given her to live her immortal life to the fullest. Fast cars, fashion, travel, nightlife, etc. I've seen some fans try to portray vampire Bella as being tied to the hip with Alice and joining her on all her adventures, but I really can't imagine it. Bella's just a dull, boring person and historically becoming a vampire would amplify that part of her personality. quote:Angela and Ben laughed, but Alice grimaced in real disappointment. How could you not want this girl as your best friend? quote:“Sure,” I said, hoping to placate her. I knew I wasn’t going to do anything too outlandish; it would be safer to take it slow with Charlie. Give him a chance to appreciate how trustworthy and mature I was before I asked for any favors. What would you do in Hoquiam? Especially in 2005 I don't think there was much out there except seeing nature. Pop over to Aberdeen to see Kurt Cobain's childhood home? I'm sure Edward would relate. quote:It didn’t take long to determine where my restlessness stemmed from. Setting boundaries with your boyfriend? quote:“Alice? Alice!” Because why find a better way to get the plot moving than have the psychic have a vision of it? quote:Then Edward laughed, a very natural, relaxed sound. Angela and Ben looked toward him, but my eyes were locked on Alice. She jumped suddenly, as if someone had kicked her under the table. I looked back at Midnight Sun and reminded myself that just a year ago Edward was fantasizing about injuring and killing him in graphic detail because he dared to have a crush on Bella. quote:I listened, confused, while Mike answered Edward’s unusually friendly queries. It seemed Mike was having car troubles. You could throw him a bone! Sorry. quote:“I know a few things—I could take a look, if you like,” Edward offered. “Just let me drop Alice and Bella at home.” Mike probably thinks Edward is planning on killing him when he gets a chance. quote:Edward’s Volvo, with Alice already inside, was just two cars away. Literally every Cullen is cool and good except for Edward. quote:I stopped listening after a minute, letting her quick voice become just a hum in the background as I settled into my patient mode. I see they've gotten way better at communicating in the past month. quote:“Light homework load tonight,” he commented. Something with more seasoning than just jarred tomato sauce? quote:Inside, I headed up the stairs, and Edward followed. He lounged on my bed and gazed out the window, seeming oblivious to my edginess. I still can't find anything erotic about my lover having the texture of a cold marble statue. That's just uncomfortable. quote:I knew I had about three seconds before he would sigh and slide me deftly away, saying something about how we’d risked my life enough for one afternoon. Making the most of my last seconds, I crushed myself closer, molding myself to the shape of him. The tip of my tongue traced the curve of his lower lip; it was as flawlessly smooth as if it had been polished, and the taste— Of gopher blood on his breath? quote:He pulled my face away from his, breaking my hold with ease—he probably didn’t even realize that I was using all my strength. Same. quote:“Tell Renée I said hello.” No, Renee will never improve. She will always remain a child and I don't think Bella ever comes to realize how awful her mother was to her father. quote:I was a very different person from my mother. Someone thoughtful and cautious. The responsible one, the grown-up. That’s how I saw myself. That was the person I knew. Except...everything you did this year? quote:With the blood still pounding in my head from Edward’s kiss, I couldn’t help but think of my mother’s most life-altering mistake. Silly and romantic, getting married fresh out of high school to a man she barely knew, then producing me a year later. She’d always promised me that she had no regrets, that I was the best gift her life had ever given her. And yet she’d drilled it into me over and over—smart people took marriage seriously. Mature people went to college and started careers before they got deeply involved in a relationship. She knew I would never be as thoughtless and goofy and small-town as she’d been.… The reason Bella will never realize it is because Meyer doesn't. She can't or won't realize what the characters she wants to like actually do to others. Renee taking advantage of Charlie and leaving him alone without their daughter out of boredom is treated as the unavoidable product of silly youths getting married too soon, not a sign of Renee's growing refusal to take responsibility and dismissal of others' needs and feelings. Bella is truly her mother's daughter: always acting in her own interest, regardless of what it does to other people, and dismissing the harm she causes as just making silly youthful missteps. quote:I gritted my teeth and tried to concentrate as I answered her letter. I don't miss being a teenager. quote:I didn’t realize that Edward was standing silently behind me again until after I’d turned off the computer and shoved away from the desk. I was about to scold him for reading over my shoulder when I realized that he wasn’t paying any attention to me. He was examining a flat black box with wires curling crookedly away from the main square in a way that didn’t look healthy for whatever it was. After a second, I recognized the car stereo Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper had given me for my last birthday. I’d forgotten about the birthday presents hiding under a growing pile of dust on the floor of my closet. Bella didn't even try using tools! She said herself that she clawed it out with her bare hands until she was bleeding! quote:He shook his head, his face a mask of faux tragedy. “You killed it.” Edward telling Bella that she's hurting her loved ones and Bella sighing and acting like acknowledging their feelings is a burden on her is the absolute perfect follow-up to my last rant. quote:“You didn’t get much good out of your birthday presents last year,” he said in a disgruntled voice. Suddenly, he was fanning himself with a stiff rectangle of paper. Jacksonville, specifically, which is terrible! quote:“You did say something about the continental U.S. being allowable.” One of the biggest missteps a divorce court has ever made! quote:“Nobody has custody of me. I’m an adult.” Remember how we literally just saw Alice have a mysterious, shocking vision that was practically screaming "THIS IS THE PLOT" with a giant flashing neon sign? Wouldn't it be a shame if Meyer delayed doing anything with it for as long as possible? Say, an entire chapter? quote:And maybe, if she saw how happy I was with Edward, she would tell Charlie to ease up. We're 49 pages in and nothing has happened! The one twitch of interesting plot developments is being intentionally delayed! quote:“Okay, then, new subject,” I said. I’d almost forgotten my worries about this afternoon—had that been his intention? “What did Alice see today at lunch?” Spoilers: that's not the vision Alice had. quote:“Oh.” That was nothing close to what I’d been expecting. But of course it made sense that Alice would be watching out for Jasper’s future. He was her soul mate, her true other half, though they weren’t as flamboyant about their relationship as Rosalie and Emmett were. What's it called when a statement is both perfectly right and perfectly wrong at the same time? quote:We went downstairs to work on our homework, just in case Charlie showed up early. Edward finished in minutes; I slogged laboriously through my calculus until I decided it was time to fix Charlie’s dinner. Edward helped, making faces every so often at the raw ingredients—human food was mildly repulsive to him. I made stroganoff from Grandma Swan’s recipe, because I was sucking up. It wasn’t one of my favorites, but it would please Charlie. I hope Grandma Swan at least knew what spices were, Miss "I can cook because I know how to put meatloaf in an oven!" quote:Charlie seemed to already be in a good mood when he got home. He didn’t even go out of his way to be rude to Edward. Edward excused himself from eating with us, as usual. The sound of the nightly news drifted from the front room, but I doubted Edward was really watching. "He has so few left." quote:“Yeah. He invited us down to visit this weekend. He was thinking of having the Clearwaters and the Uleys over too. Sort of a playoff party.…” To strangle Charlie with? quote:Charlie sighed and gave up for the moment, though I imagined he would revisit the subject when we were alone again. He heaved himself to his feet and headed for the TV, just like every other night. He's used to it. quote:“Bella?” he asked in a stunned voice. I kept my eyes on the plate as I retrieved it. She did kinda fall into a catatonic state for a while and nearly die multiple times. quote:“I noticed that you said they’re about to expire, Edward,” Charlie went on. “How many tickets did your parents give her?” For someone who keeps feeling horrible about hurting her dad, she keeps using the worst stuff she can to hurt him and get her way when she needs to. quote:I took a deep breath and tried to make my tone more reasonable. “I’ll do my time without complaining when I’ve done something wrong, Dad, but I’m not going to put up with your prejudices.” Remember, from Charlie's perspective Bella has spent the past year going completely insane, nearly killing herself, and disappearing for days only to return half-conscious in Edward's arms. Meyer keeps trying to paint Charlie as an overprotective father that Bella needs to get around, but he's completely in the right to freak out at Bella and Edward suddenly flying out of state at a moment's notice considering their history. To him, she's a volatile and dangerously unstable teenager who can't be trusted in this relationship. quote:“Bella—” I am! quote:Charlie flinched at the threat implicit in my question. Das Sporking has a count for various repeated infractions in the series. This includes "Do I Dazzle You?" (Bella being stunned by Edward's appearance), "Subtle Foreshadowing" (not-so-subtle foreshadowing), "Dead Herring" (a sloppy red herring where the book tells the reader that something couldn't possibly be the thing it gets revealed to actually be), and "Sledgehammer of Symbology" (really obvious symbolism, usually of a religious nature). All of them are well into the dozens by the end of the first book alone. We both noticed the same trait with Bella, which Das Sporking classifies under "Sin Thine rear end Off." This is where Bella repeatedly does bad things, talks about how bad she is for doing the bad things, but doesn't actually change her behavior. It comes with an unspoken implication that she can continue to do these things as long as she acknowledges it and feels guilty. It's, uh, really obvious these were written by a Mormon. This is the third time in Eclipse that it happens. I counted the summary for each book, and by the end of the series Bella has complained about how bad she is 269 times. quote:“We’re going out?” Edward asked, his voice low but enthusiastic. Your casual reminder that Edward spends every night sitting in Bella's room staring at her as she sleeps. quote:“I have?” They're really meant for each other. quote:“Nobody said that you had to.” This is one of the aforementioned "Dead Herrings" combined with the "Subtle Foreshadowing" category. It's painfully obvious that Alice's vision wasn't about Jasper and the book repeatedly hits us over the head all but saying that it wasn't about Jasper, but keeps having Bella go "No, it couldn't be!" to drag it out. Getting these books to the plot is like pulling teeth. quote:“Does this sudden urge to see Florida have anything to do with the party at Billy’s place?” Then don't act like a misbehaving child! quote:Edward sighed, and when he spoke his voice was warm and velvet again. “So what do you want to do tonight?” he asked. As before, I'll be splitting this chapter in two. The second half isn't as long, but we'll inevitably hit the character limit.
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Nov 6, 2019 18:05
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chitoryu12 posted:Chapter 2: Evasion 
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Nov 7, 2019 02:18
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Guess who suddenly had a Twilight marathon come on TV in his hotel room?
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Nov 10, 2019 04:57
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Nov 11, 2019 01:59
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quote:We didn’t stay out late, as I’d promised. I was not surprised to see the lights still on when we pulled up in front of the house—I knew Charlie would be waiting to yell at me some more. The mind reading gets creepier every time I think about it more. He may not be able to read Bella's thoughts, but he can read the thoughts of everyone else interacting with her. He can theoretically direct any interaction the way he wants by reading their minds for intent and desires and pressing buttons the right way. He has tons of hidden knowledge that he can act on and taunt people with. quote:“I’ll see you later,” I muttered glumly. Now play him at Tekken! quote:Charlie hit the mute button—an unusual action. The idea of Renee trying to give the talk to an 8-year-old Bella is uniquely horrifying. quote:“Ten years ago you didn’t have a boyfriend,” he muttered unwillingly. I could tell he was battling with his desire to drop the subject. We were both standing up, looking at the floor, and facing away from each other. Edward what did you see quote:“Just tell me that you two are being responsible,” Charlie pled, obviously wishing a pit would open in the floor so that he could fall in. Only a Mormon would delay a plot about vampire wars and werewolf treaties to have an awkward talk about the protagonist needing to practice safe sex. quote:“Can I go to bed, now? Please.” Oh gently caress off. quote:“Sure, sure,” I agreed. The automatic response almost made me smile—it was something I’d picked up from Jacob. I even said it in the same patronizing tone he used with his own father. I should remind everyone that Bella is going to be turned into a vampire shortly as far as she's concerned. She'll never be able to see her father again. Instead of taking all the time in the world to be kind to him, spend valuable time with him, and show how much she loves him, she's finding ways to sneak away from him and avoid more than the bare minimum of contact. She's horrid. quote:Charlie grinned and turned the sound back on. He slumped lower into the cushions, pleased with his night’s work. I could tell he would be up with the game for a while. "If he tells you he has unconventional tastes, that's the wrong book." quote:So, thanks to Charlie, I was wound up and anxious. My homework was done and I didn’t feel mellow enough for reading or just listening to music. I considered calling Renée with the news of my visit, but then I realized that it was three hours later in Florida, and she would be asleep. Is this going to be another book where people's decisions are predicated on Edward being controlling and throwing a tantrum if someone does something he doesn't like? quote:The phone wasn't any help; Jacob had refused to answer my phone calls since Edward’s return. Besides, I needed to see him—see him smiling again the way he used to. I needed to replace that awful last memory of his face warped and twisted by pain if I was ever going to have any peace of mind. Describing Charlie as "smug" as if we're supposed to take him in a negative light for not knowing relationships that he's never been told about and will be killed if he learns the truth about. quote:“Thanks, Dad,” I said as I darted out the door. And this is where we reach the absolute nadir of Edward Cullen. The moment that anyone with sense would have turned their back on the idea of romance in these books. quote:Alice! drat. I’d forgotten to account for her in my plans. He must have her watching me. Just like everything else with Edward's hideous behavior, this is never going to be treated as what it is. Ever. Legally, this is kidnapping. This is the sort of red flag that, in the real world, would be grounds for immediately ending your relationship and getting a restraining order. Edward has gone from creepy to dangerous. And this loops right back around to what I said in the first book: Bella and Edward can never be equal, and she can never do anything to stop him no matter what he does. Superhuman strength, speed, and senses, invulnerable to any damage short of what an army could cause, capable of reading the mind of everyone except Bella, and can use his dangerous reputation and influence over his family to get them to use their powers to act as vampire security cameras. Bella is entirely trapped by his desires and his means of acting on them. She's no more his equal than a sex toy would be, and no more capable of escape. And even if we removed all of Edward's powers, there's nothing in this that would be out of place in a story of battered spouses. If Edward began slapping Bella around and bouncing her head off the truck window, it would be all too real. quote:With my lips mashed together, I retrieved my keys and stiffly climbed out of the truck. And yet she persists. And nothing can ever be the same to the reader.
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Nov 11, 2019 18:26
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Sadly, this is the sort of content that I'd assumed the whole series consisted of -- abusive Edward and a budding battle between vampire and werewolf for Bella despite her being oblivious to how gross her love interest is. I heard nothing about the plotlines, such as they were, for the first two books.
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Nov 11, 2019 23:47
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Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:Sadly, this is the sort of content that I'd assumed the whole series consisted of -- abusive Edward and a budding battle between vampire and werewolf for Bella despite her being oblivious to how gross her love interest is. I heard nothing about the plotlines, such as they were, for the first two books. Having never read them and only knowing them by the movies, I had assumed they were a lot more...concise, I could say? I didn't expect them to be so plodding and spend so much time not only ignoring the important parts of the plot, but actively avoiding them; we've finished 2 chapters and 64 pages, but have only taken a single step forward in the plot because we somehow need more of the interpersonal conflict. We don't even get the resolution to Alice's vision until the next chapter, and there are still going to be whole chapters dedicated to arguments and a shaky love triangle after that. But I also wasn't expecting both Bella to be so reprehensible. The pop culture idea is that Bella is boring and Edward is abusive, but it's a competition between her and Edward to see who can be worse to their peers and loved ones. We're only 4 months from Bella becoming a vampire, and she's spending her last moments with her human friends and family trying to avoid them and groaning inwardly at having to take any responsibility for herself.
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Nov 12, 2019 01:37
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I was kind of surprised how much time they spent at school. I figured they'd skip that as soon as possible and brood in the Pacific Northwestern forests as soon as possible.
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Nov 12, 2019 02:20
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Dawgstar posted:I was kind of surprised how much time they spent at school. I figured they'd skip that as soon as possible and brood in the Pacific Northwestern forests as soon as possible. It’s sort of the biggest problem for the movies. Watching them, you quickly realize how much chaff needs to be clipped to make a movie and in turn how little substance is left. There are some very awkward editing cuts because of the need to shorten the roundabout conversations and useless chatter and arguing to the minimum for a story; one cut in Eclipse was so bad that I thought footage had gone missing. On the other hand, losing the first-person viewpoint opens up the movies a lot. They can actually cut away from Bella to show the plot building in the background and all the battles she’s kept far away from. This also shows a major fundamental problem with the books. By simultaneously keeping to a first-person view but making Bella too weak compared to the supporting characters, everything interesting is kept hidden. All of the action and intrigue goes on without her and we just get it recited to us. Meyer has written herself into a corner with no choice but to be boring.
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Nov 12, 2019 02:30
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Chapter 3: Motivesquote:The sun was so deeply behind the clouds that there was no way to tell if it had set or not. After the long flight—chasing the sun westward so that it seemed unmoving in the sky—it was especially disorienting; time seemed oddly variable. It took me by surprise when the forest gave way to the first buildings, signaling that we were nearly home. This might be the book's biggest violation of "Show, don't tell" after all the claims that Edward or Bella are good people. We've never once seen Renee demonstrate any notable personality traits apart from her baffling lack of maturity, selfishness in her relationship with Charlie, and flighty stupidity. Now we're getting told that she's actually had this childlike insight this whole time? quote:Phil was busy—the high school baseball team he coached was in the playoffs—and being alone with Edward and me had only sharpened Renée’s focus. As soon as the hugs and squeals of delight were out of the way, Renée began to watch. And as she’d watched, her wide blue eyes had become first confused and then concerned. Yep, that's Florida! It's a near-permanent, humid summer from April to October at a minimum. Tomorrow is going to be a high of 68 degrees in Orlando, which will be the coldest day of the year since spring. quote:“Bella?” my mother asked, looking out past the sand to the lightly crashing waves as she spoke. Just wait till you find out what he did last time we were here! quote:I laughed, though I was still not able to meet her gaze. “That’s a bad thing?” What kind of bullshit is this? We've seen Renee do nothing but comically mess up the simplest tasks and torment her husband out of boredom with small town life. Suddenly her immaturity has given her a child's ultra-perception about the world? I really hate the "From the mouths of babes" trope, the insistence that kids somehow have a preternatural perception of the truth behind everything and that they can't be fooled like adults can. Just because kids sometimes say rude things about what's obvious doesn't mean adults don't see them too! Kids will unironically believe absolute bullshit because they don't know a quarter of what they need to make sense of the world. Recent studies have found that childlike thinking as an adult actually contributes to the exact opposite personality: someone who's easily manipulated and susceptible to falling behind authoritarian figures because of a simplistic world view. quote:“It’s not just him.” She set her lips defensively. “I wish you could see how you move around him.” We normally call that "clinginess." quote:“Don’t tell me,” I teased, forcing a smile. “You’re reading mysteries again, aren’t you? Or is it sci-fi this time?” That's more like it. quote:She looked up, and I controlled my expression. Casual reminder of why Renee left Forks and destroyed her husband. quote:She elbowed me playfully and then took my hand as we walked back to her car. This might be the worst transition I've ever seen in a book. quote:I sighed. Of course Charlie was waiting to pounce. Accurate. quote:“So Renée didn’t sell you on the University of Florida?” This is supposed to be Charlie being awkward about Bella's relationship, but it comes off as everyone just finding him creepy. quote:“Impressive,” I whispered in his ear. I think he's as mad as we are about the plot getting delayed for a chapter. quote:The phone rang then, shrill and demanding. Meyer's comparisons of Jacob and Edward always manage to highlight the shallowness of Bella's relationship with Edward. As much as Bella spent her friendship manipulating Jacob and playing on his crush to feed her self-destructive impulses, we've had far more personable moments described with him than we got with Edward. Their friendship didn't begin with Jacob incessantly grilling her all day about her life and personality, or Jacob yanking her around and forcing her to go places or do things she didn't want. Jacob is going to get plenty more awful as this series goes on, but Meyer's experiment with New Moon spent so long showing the alternative to Edward that she inadvertently destroyed any pretense that he's a good choice for Bella. Even the slightest touch of humanity is beyond him. quote:I cleared the lump from my throat. “Yes,” I answered. Awesome. This scene was definitely worth it. quote:“Yeah, I know. I’m so glad you called me, Jake. I…” But I didn’t know what more to say. I wanted to tell him I was on my way to La Push right now. And I couldn’t tell him that. Can this loving book get on with it already? quote:“Is everything all right?” Edward asked. His voice was low and careful. Edward, of course, knows exactly what's going on. He and Jacob are now both dragging the reveal out even longer for no good reason. quote:With my thoughts miles away—about fifteen miles away, up the road to La Push—I started combing through the fridge, assembling ingredients for Charlie’s dinner. Edward leaned against the counter, and I was distantly aware that his eyes were on my face, but too preoccupied to worry about what he saw there. Because it's being intentionally hidden from both you and the audience. quote:What could have changed in the past three days that was so important that Jacob would break his long streak of refusing to answer my phone calls and contact me? What difference could three days make? Okay, I wasn't going to suddenly break out spoilers here but this passage has me so irrationally frustrated that I can't figure out what the hell is going on. Alice's vision was about Victoria coming back to Forks. This book is supposed to finally wrap up the plot point about her getting revenge on Bella. That's why there's vampires killing people in Seattle. 5 days before this phone call, Victoria returned and got into a fight with the werewolves and the Cullens that caused conflict between the two groups. Bella's disappearance, the one that she thinks Jacob is assuming was her vampire transformation, happened a month ago. Bella saw him at the end of the last book. How the gently caress would he think that was it? He saw her! He can smell vampires! He would have known! What's Meyer's game here? Was Jacob's phone call really about figuring out if the transformation was complete? Is Meyer just delaying the reveal again to drag this poo poo out? It's either a plot hole or lovely padding. This book sucks. quote:Edward shook me. “Bella?” he asked, truly anxious now. Is this supposed to be a loving shock now? You've known about this for the past month! quote:His arms tightened around me. “I know.” Chapter cut for my own sanity.
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Nov 12, 2019 15:13
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Does this treaty cover injections of syringes of vampire venom? At least one of the Cullens should have a law degree by now to finagle their way out of this rule.
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Nov 12, 2019 15:46
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MorgaineDax posted:Does this treaty cover injections of syringes of vampire venom? At least one of the Cullens should have a law degree by now to finagle their way out of this rule. Forbes does a regular Fictional 15, and in 2010 Carlisle topped the list at $34.1 billion. They actually did a full parody article explaining his fortune. quote:Those Goldman Sachs bankers taking home millions in bonuses could take a few lessons from the richest man in fiction, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Unlike those bankers, Cullen has avoided populist ire by hiding his $34.1 billion personal fortune from charities, the I.R.S. and, until now, Forbes' intrepid imaginary billionaire hunters. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 15:56 on Nov 12, 2019 |
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Nov 12, 2019 15:54
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Nov 12, 2019 23:28
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quote:“If I asked you to do something, would you trust me?” Edward asked, an edge to his soft voice. At what point have we ever seen Edward "relaxed and joking"? Seriously. It's always brooding and speaking in a stilted faux-1900 manner. quote:I stared at his anxious expression—his eyes were far away, like he was listening to distant voices. "My Jacob." Christ alive. quote:“You jumped to the wrong conclusion last night,” Edward murmured. “He asked about school because he knew that I would be where you were. He was looking for a safe place to talk to me. A place with witnesses.” So why did we go through all of that? A whole page ended up being completely pointless panicking! So much of this series is useless! quote:“I’m not staying in the car,” I said. Yes, how odd it is that the students would be worried that a 6'7 mountain of Native American muscle roaring up onto the sidewalk outside school on a motorcycle and scowling at everyone might be up to no good. quote:Edward stopped a few yards away from Jacob, and I could tell that he was uncomfortable having me so close to a werewolf. He drew his hand back slightly, pulling me halfway behind his body. Twilight: We're All Assholes Here quote:Edward looked around pointedly, his eyes resting on the witnesses who were just barely out of hearing range. A few people were hesitating on the sidewalk, their eyes bright with expectation. Like they were hoping a fight might break out to alleviate the tedium of another Monday morning. I saw Tyler Crowley nudge Austin Marks, and they both paused on their way to class. Would you believe that it's still going to take another two pages for us to get to the reveal from here? quote:Edward just glared at Jacob as if he hadn’t heard me. Remember that every time you see a werewolf trembling, they're barely restraining themselves from transforming into a giant wolf and tearing apart whoever they're mad at. Jacob just almost did it in front of the school. quote:“Emmett and Paul?” I whispered. Paul was Jacob’s most volatile pack brother. He was the one who’d lost control that day in the woods—the memory of the snarling gray wolf was suddenly vivid in my head. “What happened? Were they fighting?” My voice strained higher in panic. “Why? Did Paul get hurt?” The book keeps dropping hints that maybe Bella shouldn't take becoming a vampire so lightly, but it never matters. quote:Jacob raised his eyebrows, but made no other move. “Why haven’t you told her?” There it is. 79 pages, the length of a novella, just for Meyer to tell us what the drat book is about. quote:Edward held me tight to his side, angling his body so that he was still between me and Jacob, and stroked my face with anxious hands. “It’s fine,” he whispered to me. “It’s fine. I’ll never let her get close to you, it’s fine.” Edward is that guy who always tells you to trust everything he does and gets mad when you ask for him to be honest. quote:I tried to pull myself together, but my eyes were swimming in moisture. I could see it behind my lids—I could see Victoria’s face, her lips pulled back over her teeth, her crimson eyes glowing with the obsession of her vendetta; she held Edward responsible for the demise of her love, James. She wouldn’t stop until his love was taken from him, too. Not really? She's been through the exact same thing last year, but certainly not worse. quote:Abruptly, Jacob’s expression shifted, and he was staring at Edward with an odd, speculative expression. His eyes narrowed like he was trying to do a difficult math problem in his head. Reading people's minds is a hideous invasion of their privacy, so Edward getting it turned back on him is fully deserved. Imagine the ways you could gently caress with a mind reader like that. quote:I glared at him, and he smiled back impishly—like a kid caught doing something he knows he shouldn’t by someone who he knows won’t punish him. Okay, so the principal is walking over right now. Let's see how long this conversation can get dragged out! quote:“Overprotective, isn’t he?” Jacob said, talking just to me. “A little trouble makes life fun. Let me guess, you’re not allowed to have fun, are you?” Principal is still walking! quote:“Jake…” This is yet again disturbingly similar to a battered spouse story. quote:Jacob dropped the antagonistic façade completely. It was like he’d forgotten Edward was there, or at least he was determined to act that way. “I miss you every day, Bella. It’s not the same without you.” Finally! Was he sauntering? quote:“Get to school, Jake,” I whispered, anxious as soon as I recognized the principal’s voice. Jacob went to the Quileute school, but he might still get in trouble for trespassing or the equivalent. I have no idea who played Mr. Greene in the movie. As far as I know, he was a background extra during graduation with no lines. quote:“Ah, Mr. Cullen. Do we have a problem here?” Jacob's doing a really good job of being someone you'd want to be friends with! quote:“Mr. Cullen, I expect you to ask your friend to refrain from trespassing again.” Hey, what would be the best way to do a conversation? The way that's easiest to follow and won't make this chapter even longer? quote:I yanked a blank page out of my notebook and started writing, my handwriting more illegible than normal thanks to my agitation. All formatting is the same as in the book. It's actually much easier to read as a post because the Kindle version (and presumably the physical books) makes the text of these letters and the headline in the last chapter huge. Edward's note takes up most of the page. quote:I frowned at the letters on the page. All of them had been in on it—Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Carlisle. Maybe even Esme, though he hadn’t mentioned her. And then Paul and the rest of the Quileute pack. It might so easily have turned into a fight, pitting my future family and my old friends against each other. Any one of them could have been hurt. I imagined the wolves would be in the most danger, but picturing tiny Alice next to one of the huge werewolves, fighting… Tiny Alice who also has superhuman speed and strength to outrun and destroy a car? quote:Carefully, I scrubbed out the entire paragraph with my eraser and then I wrote over the top: What would he have done? Superman her out of the plane over the Midwest? quote:That wasn’t what I’d meant at all; I hadn’t thought of going without him. I’d meant that we should have stayed here together. But I was sidetracked by his response, and a little miffed. But that's not how physics work! quote:I scrubbed out the disconcerting conversation and wrote one more line. He's so smug, I can't stand it. quote:It was later, in Calculus—my one class without Edward—that I heard the gossip. Every transition to a high school setting clashes so, so badly with the rest of the book. I honestly keep forgetting anyone here is a teenager, or at least pretending to be one. quote:“Huh,” Tyler said. “Too bad it didn’t turn into anything. Guess we’ll never know how it would have turned out.”
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Nov 13, 2019 18:13
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Whoever wins, we also win.
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Nov 14, 2019 14:35
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Nov 16, 2019 01:26
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Chapter 4: Naturequote:I was having a bad week. The only positive thing about making Bella a vampire is that she could finally do something other than hide in the corner having a panic attack while everything neat happens elsewhere. quote:Carlisle had said, “There are seven of us, Bella. And with Alice on our side, I don’t think Victoria’s going to catch us off guard. I think it’s important, for Charlie’s sake, that we stick with the original plan.” Rosalie is the only one who sees how dull she is. quote:Alice had rolled her eyes and said, “I’m offended. You’re not honestly worried about this, are you?” "He's kind of a dangerous shithead!" quote:Jasper had silently erased all the panic and tension in my body with his curious talent of controlling emotional atmospheres. I’d felt reassured, and let them talk me out of my desperate pleading. I checked the wiki and it claims that Jasper's powers work on Bella despite her being immune to powers because it "actually affects her" and "isn't just an illusion." But Edward's mind-reading isn't an illusion! This feels like Meyer has been writing by the seat of her pants without planning more than one book ahead. quote:Of course, that calm had worn off as soon as Edward and I had walked out of the room. So the consensus was that I was just supposed to forget that a deranged vampire was stalking me, intent on my death. Go about my business. Maybe because he just threw it out there and you had such an overreaction that a child could figure it out? quote:All in all, a very bad week. And today was the worst day in it. I wonder if Edward could ever cover his hunting by selling the meat left over from his feeding. He just keeps showing up with coolers full of venison for Charlie. quote:I would never admit to him how hard it was for me when he was gone—how it brought back the abandonment nightmares. If he knew that, it would make him feel horrible and he would be afraid to ever leave me, even for the most necessary reasons. It had been like that in the beginning, when he’d first returned from Italy. His golden eyes had turned black and he’d suffered from his thirst more than it was already necessary that he suffer. So I put on a brave face and all but kicked him out the door whenever Emmett and Jasper wanted to go. Oh, that's wonderful. Not only did Bella avoid having to make any changes to her character because she got her boyfriend back, we get to have the dynamic of her having abandonment issues and him being a nightmarish abuser. Romeo & Juliet! True love! quote:I think he saw through me, though. A little. This morning there had been a note left on my pillow: You should be a lot less accepting of this than you are! quote:I tried to look on the bright side. After work, I had plans to help Angela with her announcements, so that would be a distraction. And Charlie was in an excellent mood due to Edward’s absence, so I might as well enjoy that while it lasted. Alice would spend the night with me if I was pathetic enough to ask her to. And then tomorrow, Edward would be home. I would survive. I sure loving hope not. quote:The last two magnets—round black utilitarian pieces that were my favorites because they could hold ten sheets of paper to the fridge without breaking a sweat—did not want to cooperate with my fixation. Their polarities were reversed; every time I tried to line the last one up, the other jumped out of place. I am 99% sure that putting two fridge magnets next to each other will not cause one to be shoved away. quote:For some reason—impending mania, perhaps—this really irritated me. Why couldn’t they just play nice? Stupid with stubbornness, I kept shoving them together as if I was expecting them to suddenly give up. I could have flipped one over, but that felt like losing. Finally, exasperated at myself more than the magnets, I pulled them from the fridge and held them together with two hands. It took a little effort—they were strong enough to put up a fight—but I forced them to coexist side-by-side. So I guess we're just moving forward with our protagonist being severely mentally ill and having it treated as a sign of her love for Edward for the rest of the series? Great. Absolutely great. quote:When I got to Newton’s, Mike was methodically dry mopping the aisles while his mom arranged a new counter display. I caught them in the middle of an argument, unaware that I had arrived. That's because you're incredibly judgmental of other women expressing femininity, Bella. quote:“Light traffic,” I joked as I grabbed my hideous fluorescent orange vest out from under the counter. I was surprised that Mrs. Newton was as worked up about this Seattle thing as Charlie. I’d thought he was going to extremes. Newton's is one of those shops that complains about how they'll have to shut down if they pay a living wage to their staff. Guillotine Kate Newton for her oppression of the proletariat. quote:“I was going to call,” Mrs. Newton continued. “I don’t think we’re expecting a ton of business today. Mike and I can probably handle things. I’m sorry you got up and drove out.…” Only if you pay her for at least one hour of her time! quote:“Sure, no problem.” I put my vest away, and then tucked the flyers under my arm and headed out into the misty rain. Alice suddenly comes speeding off a side road and T-bones Bella's truck. quote:I’d thrown the damp flyers in my haste and they were scattered in a bright mess across the passenger seat—a hundred bolded captions, a hundred dark howling wolves outlined against the yellow background. If you just read this book as if Edward is an abusive boyfriend rather than involved in a supernatural conflict, this book manages to fit at least two disturbing statements per chapter. quote:My truck was positively wheezing by the time it grated to a stop in front of the familiar faded red house. The lump came back to my throat as I stared at the little place that had once been my refuge. It had been so long since I’d been here. They are kids! quote:“Hey, Bella!” Billy had rolled himself into the doorway to see what all the commotion was about. Chapter break!
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Nov 18, 2019 16:36
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chitoryu12 posted:Forbes does a regular Fictional 15, and in 2010 Carlisle topped the list at $34.1 billion. They actually did a full parody article explaining his fortune. Just wanted to say that this final quip is excellent.
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Nov 19, 2019 17:37
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quote:We started walking, too keyed up to sit still in the house. Jacob was practically bouncing as he moved, and I had to remind him a few times that my legs weren’t ten feet long. We're supposed to be told that Bella only ever behaves irresponsibly around Jacob, but that seems to only be because Edward is massively controlling. Both of them are very dangerous to be around, but Edward is the only one who's disabling her truck and having clairvoyants monitor her movements. Without Edward's temper, Bella probably would be just as bad with or without him. quote:Our exuberance lasted through the first few topics of conversation: how we were doing, what we were up to, how long I had, and what had brought me here. When I hesitantly told him about the wolf flyer, his bellowing laugh echoed back from the trees. I can definitely feel Bella wanting to skip parts of these chapters. quote:Jacob’s face puckered up like he’d just licked a lemon. “I wish Sam had taken a picture when he found you that night last September. It would be exhibit A.” Probably the same thing Edward said about how you can't hang out with werewolves because they're too dangerous? quote:“He came back, though, didn’t he?” Jacob muttered. “Too bad he can’t stick to a decision.” I would be turning around and walking away from this dickhead right now. quote:It was no fun being with Jacob if he was going to act like this. I trailed behind him automatically, not sure if I shouldn’t turn around and leave. I was going to have to face Alice, though, when I got home.… I supposed I wasn’t in any rush. Doubt it. quote:He pretended to lock his lips and then threw the invisible key over his shoulder. I tried not to smile, and failed. I'm at least thankful that Meyer isn't including this entire recap like I thought she would. quote:I kept it as succinct as possible—leaving out anything that wasn’t essential. I tried to read Jacob’s reactions, but his face was enigmatic as I explained how Alice had seen Edward plan to kill himself when he’d heard that I was dead. Sometimes Jacob seemed so deep in thought, I wasn’t sure if he was listening. He only interrupted one time. Still 16 years old. quote:His response was easier to read when I got to the part about the Volturi. His teeth clenched together, goose bumps rose on his arms, and his nostrils flared. I didn’t go into specifics, I just told him that Edward had talked us out of trouble, without revealing the promise we’d had to make, or the visit we were anticipating. Jacob didn’t need to have my nightmares. "An uncontrollable lunatic?" quote:“Lost his focus. Can’t say that I blame him—the big bloodsucker was right on top of him. He sprang—hey, don’t give me that look. The vampire was on our land.” This is the stupidest loving conflict. You're going to try and murder your own allies because they accidentally crossed a territorial border during a fight? It would be bad enough if it was just Paul being the token blood rage warrior on the team, but Jacob is somehow completely fine with this! Even if you take into account his extreme hatred for vampires, they were in the middle of trying to kill a vampire that's a serious threat to both Bella and all of Forks. Suddenly turning and trying to kill the people on your side because they literally took a wrong step is dumb as hell and eliminates a ton of sympathy you could have for the Wolf Pack. quote:I tried to compose my face so that he would go on. My nails were digging into my palms with the stress of the story, even though I knew it had turned out fine. I wonder how far-reaching Jasper's powers are. How much of a threat could he be in a fight if he could just eliminate one side's will to win entirely? I'm sure Meyer will never realize the implications and utilize this. quote:“Really annoying, that’s how it feels. Only you can’t be annoyed until afterwards.” He shook his head angrily. “So Sam and the head vamp agreed that Victoria was the priority, and we started after her again. Carlisle gave us the line, so that we could follow the scent properly, but then she hit the cliffs just north of Makah country, right where the line hugs the coast for a few miles. She took off into the water again. The big one and the calm one wanted permission to cross the line to go after her, but of course we said no.” Also it kinda was for no reason? Again, they were in a brawl. Emmett stepped on the wrong patch of dirt because that's what happens when you're fighting right on a boundary line. The wolves are like Lawful Stupid paladins in D&D who immediately try to murder their party members for committing crimes on a quest and go "I'm just playing my character!" quote:“Huh,” Jacob said under his breath, and he bent over to pick up a rock from among the millions of pebbles at our feet. With a casual flick, he sent it flying a good hundred meters out into the bay. “Well, she’ll be back, I guess. We’ll get another shot at her.” Maybe this time you'll avoid starting an inter-party duel to the death over it. quote:I shuddered; of course she would be back. Would Edward really tell me next time? I wasn’t sure. I’d have to keep an eye on Alice, to look for the signs that the pattern was about to repeat.… J God, not this poo poo again. But Jacob is absolutely right, and it puts Bella's position in the plot into sharper focus by pointing it out like that. The only reason everything is happening the way it did is because Bella was an irresponsible lunatic giving into her basest urges. There are so many times in this series where the plot only gets more complicated or difficult because people were assholes for no reason or made stupid, irresponsible decisions at the worst times. Usually in cases where even a tiny bit more caution or a few minutes or hours of waiting would have changed everything! For all Stephenie Meyer brings up Romeo & Juliet, this is actually how the story goes. It's a series of impulsive, dumb decisions that eventually lead to the ruination of two families and a ton of dead bodies. But while Shakespeare meant for this to be an intentional tragedy, Meyer seems to think it's no big deal and these are all just bumps on the road to a happy ending. She seems incapable of writing conflict that doesn't require bad decisions to happen. quote:“Edward would have come back anyway.” Okay now this is the dumbest conflict. quote:I didn’t believe for a second that Sam was the only one who felt that way. And the acid in my voice now was for both of them. Not unless you go on DeviantArt! quote:I grinned back tightly, though the acid taste was still in my mouth. “Maybe the fish was trying,” I suggested. “It’s hard to tell what a fish is thinking. Eagles are good-looking birds, you know.” This reminds me of how in New Moon Meyer suddenly made Mike begin acting like a fuckboy out of the blue, or having Charlie unexpectedly disable Bella's truck when he'd ordinarily been a reasonable father figure. Meyer needs the plot and characters to move the way she envisions them, but she's not a good enough writer to write a truly complex, rounded character. It's always just sharply divided personality traits that may or may not fit well together, and people can turn their personalities on a dime. The way Jacob is acting so aggressively and rude feels like she realized that she had written him as too positive and too good of an alternative to Edward pre-transformation, which would make pushing Edward as the True Love seem particularly unappealing by comparison, and she needed conflict in her love triangle. So Jacob's transformation and joining of the Wolf Pack makes him a giant rear end in a top hat who oversteps every boundary possible and insults the protagonist and her choice of boyfriend. quote:“I love him. Not because he’s beautiful or because he’s rich!” I spat the word at Jacob. “I’d much rather he weren’t either one. It would even out the gap between us just a little bit—because he’d still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person I’ve ever met. Of course I love him. How hard is that to understand?” It is! Everything you said to describe him is a lie borne out by the text! quote:“Please enlighten me, then, Jacob.” I let the sarcasm flow thick. “What is a valid reason for someone to love someone else? Since apparently I’m doing it wrong.” I would hesitate to say that. The Cullens are awesome compared to Bella and Edward only because they have personalities that aren't utterly abhorrent, but it's hard to quantify just how "good" any of them except Carlisle and Esme are because we see so little of them and they intentionally interact as little with humans as possible. It seems to be that we're supposed to treat the Cullens as good and pure because they're good to the heroine and she's the only one whose story matters. Not to mention that according to Midnight Sun more than one of them was completely okay with killing Bella to keep their existence a secret. How many times have they killed an innocent person even after becoming "vegetarian" to stay hidden? quote:He frowned more deeply. “They shouldn’t exist. Their existence goes against nature.” That didn't answer her statement. quote:Staying angry with Jacob was too much work. I started to smile as I pulled my hand away from his chest.
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Nov 19, 2019 22:04
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Chapter 5: Imprintquote:“Aee you okay, Jake? Charlie said you were having a hard time.… Isn’t it getting any better?” This world is so full of depressed and angry emos that the idea of someone being excited to get supernatural powers along with puberty is confusing to Bella. quote:Jacob tilted his head back to look at me. He smiled and rolled his eyes. And then there's Paul, who uses it to try and murder people on a regular basis. quote:There were so many things I wanted to know. “Why are you and Sam different? What happened to Sam anyway? What’s his problem?” The questions tumbled out without room to answer them, and Jacob laughed again. Perfect, follow up a long exposition and talking chapter with another long exposition and talking chapter. quote:He looked up at me swiftly, hearing the double edge in my words. “Will he be mad at you?” And this is sounding more like a battered spouse novel all the time! quote:“Please, Jake. That really bugs me.” Are you going to tell him about that time he disabled your car and ambushed you to keep you from seeing him? Because that happened really recently and I'm still not over it! quote:“Ugh!” I ripped my hand out of his and shoved his head away. Then I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them. I should warn you now that a lot of this book is spent on explaining backstories and telling Bella about things. quote:His words pricked my curiosity in spite of my irritation. I kinda forgot he even existed for a second there. quote:His voice changed, became heavier. “Yeah. Leah and Sam were high school sweethearts. They started dating when she was just a freshman. She was frantic when he disappeared.” This reminds me of the last book where Carlisle was telling Bella the story about changing Edward. It again feels like Meyer wanted to include a flashback scene but was stuck with Bella's POV, so she just has another character recite all the details at her. quote:He was so close, I could feel his warm breath. I reached up casually, to take his hand away and free my face, but wound my fingers through his so that I wouldn’t hurt his feelings. He smiled and leaned back, undeceived by my attempt at nonchalance. Yeah, he might suddenly turn into a giant wolf and decapitate you during an argument. quote:“You think I should be as forgiving as you are? We can’t all be saints and martyrs.” No, Charlie has "fits" when you act like a deranged child. You're throwing a foot-stomping temper tantrum because you aren't special yet. quote:“Take it easy, Bella.” But Taylor Lautner was 16 during the filming of New Moon and lusting over his body at that point is very creepy! quote:“Not at all. Because we reach full growth inside of a few months when the werewolf gene gets triggered. It’s one hell of a growth spurt.” He made a face. “Physically, I’m probably twenty-five or something. So there’s no need for you to freak out about being too old for me for at least another seven years.” I have no clue why Meyer wrote this in and it doesn't sound like she had it planned in New Moon. Is it to make it less weird having a 16-year-old involved in the love triangle between an 18-year-old girl and a century-old vampire in a teenager's body? quote:“So, did you want to hear about Sam, or did you want to scream at me some more for things that are out of my control?” If you read the chapter title, you know he's not kidding! quote:“I’m a pro at weird.” You shouldn't have asked. quote:“It’s one of those bizarre things we have to deal with. It doesn’t happen to everyone. In fact, it’s the rare exception, not the rule. Sam had heard all the stories by then, the stories we all used to think were legends. He’d heard of imprinting, but he never dreamed…” You won't be dubious for much longer! quote:“It’s not easy to explain. It doesn’t matter, anyway.” He shrugged indifferently. “You wanted to know what happened to Sam to make him hate the vampires for changing him, to make him hate himself. And that’s what happened. He broke Leah’s heart. He went back on every promise he’d ever made her. Every day he has to see the accusation in her eyes, and know that she’s right.” So one really important thing to point out here is that imprinting is a one-way street. The books try to justify it with the same "soulmate" excuse as with Bella and Edward, but there's no actual supernatural effect on the imprintee. Emily would have the full right to reject Sam if she wanted to, no matter how desperately committed he was to her, but Meyer states that she didn't because they're "just so right together" despite Emily being initially angry at getting caught up in it. quote:“Yeah.” The story in Forks was that she was mauled by a bear, but I was in on the secret. Werewolves are unstable, Edward had said. The people near them get hurt. And really, really awful! We just got an all but outright statement that even nearly lethal physical abuse can be forgiven as long as the perpetrator feels sorry enough. Right after Edward having his own abuse get brushed off! Yes, being a werewolf is technically a "justification" because the cause was a fantasy one, but the implications regarding real life relationships are impossible to ignore and it seriously sounds like Meyer trying to say as much. The only consolation is that EL James will be far, far worse than Stephenie Meyer when it comes to understanding love and how to handle abuse. I tried reading a little Fifty Shades lately and it's so bad that it's almost funny in an uncomfortable way. quote:“Poor Emily,” I whispered. “Poor Sam. Poor Leah.…” Worst end? Emily got loving mauled. quote:I gazed away, toward the jagged rocks that rose from the ocean like stubby broken-off fingers on the south rim of the harbor, while I tried to make sense of it all. I could feel his eyes on my face, waiting for me to say something. This is probably the biggest clue to the reader that the love triangle will inevitably end with Edward. The imprinting almost seems like it was put in as a way to say more about Bella and Jacob's relationship by having him not imprint on her. It seems like Meyer writes everything off the top of her head and doesn't think out the implications as much as she should,. quote:He was quiet, too, and the silence felt a little awkward. My intuition told me that I didn’t want to hear what he was thinking. That feels like it would be really awkward if you can't control your thoughts and others can read them without effort. What happens if your wolf bros accidentally see the last time you masturbated to their cousin or something? quote:“Right. Just like your bloodsucker.” He glowered. Oh, I was right. That really does happen. quote:“It sounds horrible,” I whispered. Still having Victoria built up as some insanely powerful vampire. Still definitely confident that will be fulfilled at the end of the book. Any time now. quote:Jacob looked up at me with a curious expression. “But isn’t it like that for you all the time? Having him in your head?” Yep! quote:“Thanks.” That movie was art dammit! quote:I laughed, too, surprised by how time had changed the memory. It used to be one of stress, of confusion. So much had changed that night.… And now I could laugh. It was the last night Jacob and I had had before he’d learned the truth about his heritage. The last human memory. An oddly pleasant memory now. Are we finally getting a moment where Bella starts reconsidering the ramifications of being made a vampire? quote:“About that good memory of yours…” I pulled away from him so that I could read his face. At the moment, it was confused. “Do you mind telling me what you were doing Monday morning? You were thinking something that bothered Edward.” Bothered wasn’t quite the word for it, but I wanted an answer, so I thought it was best not to start out too severely. Oh no, it's just more love triangle bullshit. quote:Jacob laughed, with a harder edge this time. “I was remembering the way you looked that night Sam found you—I’ve seen it in his head, and it’s like I was there; that memory has always haunted Sam, you know. And then I remembered how you looked the first time you came to my place. I bet you don’t even realize what a mess you were then, Bella. It was weeks before you started to look human again. And I remembered how you always used to have your arms wrapped around yourself, trying to hold yourself together.…” Jacob winced, and then shook his head. “It’s hard for me to remember how sad you were, and it wasn’t my fault. So I figured it would be harder for him. And I thought he ought to get a look at what he’d done.” Jacob is the most ice cold killer in this whole series. quote:I smacked his shoulder. It hurt my hand. “Jacob Black, don’t you ever do that again! Promise me you won’t.” Bella seems to forgive anything very quickly if she thinks she gets something out of it! quote:“Come on, we’ll go back to my house,” he said eagerly. You're right, it does feel that way. So much of these books are long conversations that I have no idea how much time passes during them. It always feels like they're moving too fast or too slow for how much conversation is going on. quote:His eyebrows pulled down over his eyes. “I don’t know when I’ll see you again,” he said in a hurt voice. Oh, now he's getting in on this poo poo? quote:“Aw, don’t be mad,” he said, grinning. “Knee-jerk reaction.” Okay that was actually funny. Oh God. I just realized that was the best moment in this entire series so far. quote:He raised his eyebrows, measuring my expression with curious eyes. Finally, he shrugged. I read ahead a little in the next chapter. It's...uncomfortable. Especially if you're an abuse survivor.
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Nov 26, 2019 22:56
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*Reads chapter title*
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Nov 27, 2019 00:00
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https://twitter.com/jessblazecos/status/1200104411516805121?s=21
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Nov 28, 2019 21:13
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Chapter 6: Switzerlandquote:As I drove home, I wasn't paying much attention to the road that shimmered wetly in the sun. I was thinking about the flood of information Jacob had shared with me, trying to sort it out, to force it all to make sense. Despite the overload, I felt lighter. Seeing Jacob smile, having all the secrets thrashed out… it didn’t make things perfect, but it made them better. I was right to have gone. Jacob needed me. And obviously, I thought as I squinted into the glare, there was no danger. I hope you're ready for this chapter to go the furthest in depicting a terrifying, realistic abusive relationship! Like, I would seriously quit now if you're an abuse survivor who could be triggered by seeing it. quote:I considered pulling over. But I was too much of a coward to face him right away. I’d been counting on some prep time… and having Charlie nearby as a buffer. At least that would force him to keep his voice down. We haven't even gotten into the confrontation yet and it's already pretty bad. quote:Chicken through and through, I drove straight to Angela’s without once meeting the gaze I could feel burning a hole in my mirror. Wow, an actually healthy relationship! I'm sure this will cause Bella to have an epiphany seeing someone who's not terrified of her boyfriend and make her rethink her life! quote:“'Bye, Ang! Love you!” Ben shouted as he dashed past me. Has Stephenie Meyer ever seen a movie in her life? She seems to think theaters play nothing but awful B-movies on a loop. Either that or Forks has one weird theater owner. quote:“Happy to be of service.” I was feeling a bit less panicked, able to breathe a little more evenly. It felt so ordinary here. Angela’s easy human dramas were oddly reassuring. It was nice to know that life was normal somewhere. She keeps coming so close to figuring it out. quote:I followed Angela up the stairs to her room. She kicked toys out of the way as she went. The house was unusually quiet. I'd like to know, but we get no description whatsoever of what these stacks look like! In a book filled with needless descriptions of exactly what people are wearing and doing at all times, somehow we don't know how big these stacks are except that they exist. quote:“I wish. Are you sure you want to do this?” We are currently watching a teenage girl desperately find excuses to be around other people so her terrifying, lethally dangerous boyfriend isn't able to come after her. quote:“You’re lucky Edward has his brothers for all the hiking and camping. I don’t know what I’d do if Ben didn’t have Austin for the guy stuff.” The way that Bella and this book in general keeps getting so close to figuring itself out is both frustrating and worrying. It keeps building up as if it's going to talk about abusive relationships, but then suddenly shifts gears to something like keeping the supernatural a secret or even gets completely dropped and forgotten about. It seems as if Meyer herself didn't recognize what kind of book she was writing, or legitimately can't identify what behavior is abusive. quote:“I’ll mind my own business,” Angela promised, smiling down at the address she was working on. "He's been stalking me and disabling my car to keep me from fleeing! I need immediate police protection!" quote:I was surprised to see Angela shaking her head. Is that normal for boys to do? quote:I grimaced. I didn’t have a response to that. Oh. She....really does think this is all normal. quote:She patted my hand. “He’ll get over it.” Ben would unplug her car battery and suddenly appear in her bedroom to yell at her for disobeying him? quote:Then she changed the subject. Angela wasn’t one to pry, and she seemed to sense I wouldn’t—couldn’t—say any more. Spoilers: no. quote:I tried to shake it off and answered her question a beat late. “Alaska, I think. The university there in Juneau.” At least she gives Angela the benefit of this. Charlie barely gets unconcealed loathing from her. quote:We laughed, and it was easy then to chat cheerfully about classes and majors while we finished the rest—all I had to do was not think about it. Anyway, there were more urgent things to worry about today.  quote:“How’s your hand?” she asked. I feel like I'm going through the parts of a hidden recorder where nothing interesting happens for hours. quote:“See you at school,” I said with a nervous laugh. This is steadily getting more and more disgusting. I'm not even a quarter through this book and I'm already losing my incentive to read it. quote:“Bella?” Charlie called when I opened the front door. "It's the only time of my life not spent in abject terror!" quote:I ambled toward the kitchen, looking for busy work. Unfortunately, Charlie had already cleaned up his lunch. I stood there for a few minutes, staring at the bright patch of light the sun made on the floor. But I knew I couldn’t delay this forever. ...did you just stand there for almost two minutes? quote:“Er… so, I’m still alive,” I began. This is, uh, terrifying. quote:“No harm done,” I insisted with a shrug. This is the romantic interest stating that he would gladly commit murder on all of the protagonist's social groups if necessary to keep her to himself. quote:“Don’t you start,” I snapped. “You made the treaty—you stick to it.” While not wrong, Jacob is literally no more dangerous than the Cullens and possibly less. He has anger problems but at least her very blood isn't an addictive drug to the wolves that can cause them to snap and kill her at any time. quote:“I know I don’t have to worry about Jake. And neither do you.” This is also textbook abusive relationship dynamics: the victim being made to feel as if they're the ones who committed a wrong and need to apologize for inciting the abuser to their behavior. quote:He sighed, and relaxed a little. His arms wound around my waist. "And you're in a mood to literally kill me and eat me now." quote:“I can wait.” Oooooooooooof. quote:The words popped out thoughtlessly. “Is this really just about my safety?” Somehow we keep being given the creepiest, most terrifying lines and personality traits and keep being expected to wave them off as just True Love. quote:“Okay,” I sighed. “I believe that. But I want you to know something—when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I’m out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are… well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence. I don’t care who’s a werewolf and who’s a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too.” Chapter break from this awful, gross poo poo.
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Dec 4, 2019 14:53
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https://twitter.com/squhdettv/status/1202471907045584896?s=21
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Dec 5, 2019 18:25
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I like the one where Rob talks about that if the guy was a driving a Volvo it wouldn't have spun like that when he blocked it.
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Dec 6, 2019 05:35
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quote:Edward had to make up for the missed hunting trip, and so he was leaving Friday night with Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle to hit some reserve in Northern California with a mountain lion problem. If he disables your truck again, you break up with the fucker! quote:So when I got off work Thursday and it was Alice rather than Edward waiting for me in the Volvo, I was not suspicious at first. The passenger door was open, and music I didn’t recognize was shaking the frame when the bass played. Alice is about to get a lot less cool. quote:I shut my door and put my hands over my ears. She grinned, and turned the volume down until it was just background. Then she hit the locks and the gas in the same second. Yes, and that's a crime in all 50 states. quote:She laughed and nodded. “Till Saturday. Esme cleared it with Charlie; you’re staying with me two nights, and I will drive you to and from school tomorrow.” Is Stephenie Meyer just writing out of spite at this point? This book seems designed to drive every single character into the ground and create the worst possible cast. quote:I took a deep breath. “I think I’ll pass,” I sighed, repressing a shudder. Meyer keeps trying to play really horrifying, sociopathic behavior off as either romantic or funny. quote:I slammed my door and stomped toward the house. She danced along next to me, still unrepentant. Even Bella Swan, the loving pinnacle of crazy in Forks, recognizes that her boyfriend is a psychopath and she's still just treating it like a funny story! Did I have a stroke? What the gently caress is going on? quote:It wasn’t so bad, except for the fact that I was being held against my will. Esme brought Italian food—the good stuff, all the way from Port Angeles—and Alice was prepared with my favorite movies. Even Rosalie was there, quietly in the background. Alice did insist on the pedicure, and I wondered if she was working from a list—maybe something she’d compiled from watching bad sitcoms. Alice has been turned from the funny badass who likes to party and vacation into a bizarre manic sociopath. quote:“What kind of a slumber party would that be?” Alice shook her head in exasperation. “You’re sleeping in Edward’s room.” What is it about Edward that gives him such control over his family? Is it just the fear that he'll throw another tantrum and kill himself and/or others if they don't give in to him? quote:I dialed Jacob’s number, hoping he wasn’t out running with his friends tonight. Luck was with me—Jacob was the one to answer. It was one of the few funny things in the book! quote:“I’m only laughing because you’re close,” I told him. “But he’s going to be here Saturday, so it doesn’t matter.” I know Jacob is supposed to be misinterpreting the situation and being impulsive here, but she is literally being held prisoner. quote:A chill slid down my spine, but I answered in a light and teasing voice. “Tempting. I have been tortured—Alice painted my toenails.” Remember: anything you do to your loved ones is acceptable as long as your heart is in the right place, including federal crimes! quote:“Sorry about Saturday,” I apologized. “I’ve got to hit the sack”—the couch, I corrected mentally—“but I’ll call you again soon.” You shouldn't be this casual! quote:“See you around.” Okay but again, what is she going to do? She can't even push him, let alone run away if he wants to chase her. She can be mad all she wants, but there's no "trouble" she can make for him other than emotionally. quote:I snapped the phone shut and placed it in her waiting hand. “I’m done.” Alice what the gently caress? quote:“I’m going to sleep now,” I announced, heading for the stairs. Alice tagged along. This is the weirdest loving dude. quote:I mumbled unintelligibly as I stalked forward to snatch my things off the bed. Friendly reminder that canonically Alice has bathed Bella. A lot. quote:After my teeth were brushed and I was dressed, I grabbed a puffy feather pillow off the huge bed and dragged the gold cover to the couch. I knew I was being silly, but I didn’t care. Porsches as bribes and king-sized beds in houses where nobody slept—it was beyond irritating. I flipped off the lights and curled up on the sofa, wondering if I was too annoyed to sleep. This is more than just irritating! It's absolutely insane! Everyone in this book is loving insane! quote:In the dark, the glass wall was no longer a black mirror, doubling the room. The light of the moon brightened the clouds outside the window. As my eyes adjusted, I could see the diffused glow highlighting the tops of the trees, and glinting off a small slice of the river. I watched the silver light, waiting for my eyes to get heavy.
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Dec 6, 2019 21:27
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Dec 7, 2019 02:23
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Sometimes Meyer does actually manage to portray her vampires as extremely inhuman, but I don't ever think it's when she intends to.
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Dec 7, 2019 15:46
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Dawgstar posted:Sometimes Meyer does actually manage to portray her vampires as extremely inhuman, but I don't ever think it's when she intends to. It’s like at the end of the chapter when Edward disables her truck and Bella throws her window back open. The only time Bella calls it psychotic, it gets laughed off and she gets her nails painted. It’s almost like Meyer intended to write it as if it was funny and not terrifying. Like she just doesn’t understand how bad it is.
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Dec 7, 2019 15:50
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chitoryu12 posted:“It’s me,” Rosalie said softly, opening the door enough that I could see the silver glow touch her perfect face. “Can I come in?” I've seen enough porn to know where this goes. 
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Dec 7, 2019 16:17
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