Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

TheScott2K posted:

"Natural childbirth is The Best" is very real poo poo that is pushed on new mothers unceasingly and it's perfectly fine for her to be like "I want that." It's also perfectly fine for someone to want something important to happen a certain way, regardless of the milestone, and infantilizing them over it is something that weirdly only happens to women.

oh it's absolutely fine for someone to want something to happen in a certain way, it's more that we only talk about it when it goes well, and there's no space to talk about when it doesn't go as planned, which is....the majority of the time. so folks are often unprepared when things go wrong and it can be really upsetting and isolating.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 20:06 on Nov 8, 2019

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

TheScott2K
Oct 26, 2003

I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.
Oh you say this ~woman~ doesn't want to be induced? Let me put down my Malcolm Gladwell paperback and saunter on into the exam room to explain to her why what she wants doesn't matter, because she knows nothing.

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

My friend's first birth was her water breaking then quickly getting her poo poo together and walking out onto the street and flagging down a cab. The cab took her to the hospital where they told her to go home because she probably still has a long while and she was just a nervous first-time-mom. She insisted on staying and gave birth about an hour later. Sometimes that poo poo hits FAST and if you live in some suburban wasteland and don't have a hospital like 5 min away you might be in for some complications.

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

TheScott2K posted:

as either a mother or co-parent

You can just say "parent." It means the same thing

Mr. Fall Down Terror
Jan 24, 2018

by Fluffdaddy

Sagebrush posted:

You can just say "parent." It means the same thing

nah, we're on a tear right now about people having the wrong opinions

TheScott2K
Oct 26, 2003

I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Sagebrush posted:

You can just say "parent." It means the same thing

tell that to like half the dads at my kid's preschool

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

TheScott2K posted:

"Natural childbirth is The Best" is very real poo poo that is pushed on new mothers unceasingly and it's perfectly fine for her to be like "I want that." It's also perfectly fine for someone to want something important to happen a certain way, regardless of the milestone, and infantilizing them over it is something that weirdly only happens to women.

The mother wants to wait until the very last moment before rushing off to the hospital, emphasis on rushing. Wanting a natural childbirth without induction or epidurals is different from throwing caution to the wind and hoping it all works out okay, also putting a lot of sudden pressure on her spouse. Why not just do a home birth with a doula on hand? Why wait until she's feeling contractions before traveling to where medical professionals are? It's not like women don't die during childbirth due to unexpected complications.

TheScott2K
Oct 26, 2003

I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Dazerbeams posted:

The mother wants to wait until the very last moment before rushing off to the hospital, emphasis on rushing. Wanting a natural childbirth without induction or epidurals is different from throwing caution to the wind and hoping it all works out okay, also putting a lot of sudden pressure on her spouse. Why not just do a home birth with a doula on hand? Why wait until she's feeling contractions before traveling to where medical professionals are? It's not like women don't die during childbirth due to unexpected complications.

None of your loving business.

extremely online
Mar 23, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Dazerbeams posted:

Why wait until she's feeling contractions before traveling to where medical professionals are?

Please explain what you think the medical professionals will do if you show up before you're feeling any contractions.

CPColin
Sep 9, 2003

Big ol' smile.

Dazerbeams posted:

Why wait until she's feeling contractions before traveling to where medical professionals are?

You're right, more women should travel to the hospital before labor starts!

DamnitGannet
Apr 8, 2007

To be fair, there can be a long time between your water breaking and the baby actually crowning so it's not as dire as television makes it.

Then again you have stories like the one posted about where barely an hour passes before the baby comes out so ymmv

extremely online
Mar 23, 2018

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

DamnitGannet posted:

To be fair, there can be a long time between your water breaking and the baby actually crowning so it's not as dire as television makes it.

Then again you have stories like the one posted about where barely an hour passes before the baby comes out so ymmv

With childbirth everyones M always Vs, which is why women should be encouraged to listen to their bodies and everyone else should be encouraged to listen to what women say about their bodies.

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

TheScott2K posted:

Oh you say this ~woman~ doesn't want to be induced? Let me put down my Malcolm Gladwell paperback and saunter on into the exam room to explain to her why what she wants doesn't matter, because she knows nothing.

Nobody cares about that. The issue is with her wanting to experience a "panicked" childbirth.

Mr. Fall Down Terror
Jan 24, 2018

by Fluffdaddy

extremely online posted:

Please explain what you think the medical professionals will do if you show up before you're feeling any contractions.

OP states directly she wants to wait until her water breaks, not until labor starts. personally i don't think it's empowering to wait until the last possible second and take health risks for the sake of a cinematic adrenaline rush but i've been informed i'm a Patriarch, so be it

DamnitGannet
Apr 8, 2007

extremely online posted:

With childbirth everyones M always Vs, which is why women should be encouraged to listen to their bodies and everyone else should be encouraged to listen to what women say about their bodies.

I think that lady's reasons for wanted to do it the way she does is silly but I really dont think it will be any more dangerous than having a home birth (which people do all the time) or waiting around beforehand at the hospital. Barring a serious emergency like a placenta rupture, or the cord being knotted or wrapped around the neck, she will probably get to the hospital just fine and they will stick her in the delivery room. And who knows, maybe as she gets closer to her due date she will change her mind. I would float the idea to my OBGYN and see what they say, but that's just me :shrug:

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
I remember when my wife went into labor. It was part of the GI Joe movie when Cobra Commander turned into a snake in the Arctic while looking for Cobra-La. I started crying, then I noticed my wife had been nudging me and telling me her water broke. She told me everything would be OK, we would get through this together, and I told her to shut up because she was interrupting the movie.

TheScott2K
Oct 26, 2003

I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Leon Einstein posted:

Nobody cares about that. The issue is with her wanting to experience a "panicked" childbirth.

You are all taking her way too literally because your default assumption about an anonymous woman is that she's dumb.

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


Childbirth is a nightmare. We were pressured to induce when my wife want ready and didn't dilate. They hosed up her epidural and had to do it again (charged us twice for it of course) then in the end were like "Welp guess we gotta do a c section". If we waited until the baby actually decided it was ready to come out we would have avoided a 3 day labor

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

AITA for wanting a natural labor so I can experience the “panicked, rushing to the hospital” situation?

You are right to want this. Life, like childbirth, is a scary panicked rush filled with the temptation of drugs. By bringing your child into the world this way, you are ensuring they have this fact indelibly seared into their brain, forming the foundation of their understanding of the world. Your son will either achieve great things or break under the pressure, but they will have an intuitive understanding of the chaos and cruelty of the world. Your husband is a weak fool. You would do well to :sever: and remove such poison from your life before he sabotages the greatness you are attempting to instill in your children.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Leon Einstein posted:

Nobody cares about that. The issue is with her wanting to experience a "panicked" childbirth.

Lol, being in actual labor will clear up her misconceptions pretty fast.

The first hour after she's 4 cm will break her.

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

TheScott2K posted:

You are all taking her way too literally because your default assumption about an anonymous woman is that she's dumb.

Anonymous reddit woman *

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

CPColin posted:

You're right, more women should travel to the hospital before labor starts!

I'll clarify that I was referring to labor, since the first contractions start way ahead of labor.

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy
poo poo like this pregnancy question are why we need stronger labor unions. I'm tired of those bourgeoisie babies extracting surplus labor from our hard working pregnant workers.

carry on then
Jul 10, 2010

by VideoGames

(and can't post for 10 years!)

AlBorlantern Corps posted:

Childbirth is a nightmare. We were pressured to induce when my wife want ready and didn't dilate. They hosed up her epidural and had to do it again (charged us twice for it of course) then in the end were like "Welp guess we gotta do a c section". If we waited until the baby actually decided it was ready to come out we would have avoided a 3 day labor

the gently caress is this "we" poo poo? you didn't do anything.

DrBouvenstein
Feb 28, 2007

I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

cumshitter posted:

I remember when my wife went into labor. It was part of the GI Joe movie when Cobra Commander turned into a snake in the Arctic while looking for Cobra-La. I started crying, then I noticed my wife had been nudging me and telling me her water broke. She told me everything would be OK, we would get through this together, and I told her to shut up because she was interrupting the movie.

Good call, that scene is rad as Hell.

"I....wasssssss onccccccccce....a maaaaaaan!"

Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

TheScott2K posted:

You are all taking her way too literally because your default assumption about an anonymous woman is that she's dumb.
Or that's literally exactly what she said?

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My (32M) parents (60's M/F) are insistent that my wife (31F) is driving a wedge through the family by not allowing them to spank our daughter (3F).


Oh sure, let's promise a bunch of inbred, backwards hicks who beat their children that they can beat my child whenever they want. Deep in their wretched hearts they know it's wrong to hit children, which is why they're so offended when they're told they can't, even when it's someone else's child. It also seems like they beat their children all the time if they can't go three loving days without beating one. They're horrible people and "don't beat my child" is the very minimum you should be able to expect from a person.

This is NOT something you compromise on you doofus

LyonsLions posted:

Like this dude should be glad his wife even lets their kid be in the same state as his parents after they got lawyers involved. If my inlaws tried to sue me for custody of my children, I wouldn't even let the kids near their graves to piss on them.

I agree with the general sentiment but I probably would allow the kids to piss on their graves. It could be a cathartic family moment

Pirate Radar posted:

I’ve read this three times and the fact that she doesn’t say if he’s saying good or bad things about Boris is killing me

I was more thinking he was like, giving a speech in Boris Johnson's voice

Kitchner posted:

She's loving someone in the office for sure.

That's clearly what the writer wants us to think, but I'm suspicious

Like how does this work:

quote:

Saying what i did was super inappropriate because her coworkers/boss saw it and she had to lie and say i was some drunk.

with this

quote:

You see the weird part is i have met her boss a bunch now, hell i went to her work Halloween party less than week ago. So its not like i am some sort of massive secret.

So her bosses and coworkers wouldn't recognize someone they saw less than a week ago?

Beachcomber posted:

Does this mean he's a triplet?

Probably not, it's just awkward to try to say. "Two sisters who are twins" is probably the most obvious way to say it but it's also unwieldy and ugly

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to play Cannibal Corpse at our wedding?

This has to be the most ridiculous argument my fiance and I have ever had. Normally we almost never fight, and I don't know if it's just the wedding planning stress or what, but here we are.

The wedding is in three weeks. We're just wrapping up some last-minute details at this point, including creating a list of music we want to play at the reception, which we have to submit to our DJ by the end of the week. It's a semiformal evening wedding at a pretty upscale venue in our city.

My fiance and I have completely different musical tastes. He's very passionate about metal, while I'm much more of an indie/classic hits kind of girl. I asked him for suggestions and ALL of them are songs by Slayer, Amon Amarth, etc. I obviously shot those down and asked him to please choose some more traditional wedding songs. After a ton of arguing, he finally said he'll let me pick out the bulk of the music as long as we play one song by Cannibal Corpse (his favorite band) during the reception, and that's the most he's going to compromise. He says it's not fair that all of the wedding music is the kind of music I like and he should get some say too.

Well, I don't want to play Cannibal Corpse at any point during the wedding. It's not an appropriate style of music for an event of this formality and it's going to be awkward for all the guests. Fiance says it's his wedding too and it's crappy to ask for his input and then reject all his suggestions. AITA?

Oh come on, just make a joke out of the fact that the guy only got a single song for the wedding and this was it, people will laugh and get over it

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA for not telling a good friend that his wife sent me inappropriate texts?

I know this couple well. He's a good friend and colleague of mine. She and I went to school. We dated briefly. Everyone knows this.

I know he was going through some marriage trouble. He was also definitely stressed at work, I was there in the other team seeing his team's lead crumble at some of our meetings.

She is dealing with things on her own I think. She was drunk one night I think and started texting me. I was just trying to be polite until it get flirty and I tried to play it down. The next night she drunkenly sent me nudes. Two dates later she apologized and told me to delete them. I did.

I'm just going to brush this whole thing off. I told my gf and she suggested I have a chat with my friend. And keep it subtle. But I don't think I can do that. Either rat her out or just keep it quiet. I wanna keep it quiet. AITA?

Just keep quiet man, those two can work those things out, or not. Bringing this into it won't help anything, it sounds like they're in the process of figuring out what they're going to do with each other anyways.

DamnitGannet
Apr 8, 2007

Also this is her second birth so she is already familiar with the process and yeah, every pregnancy/birth is different, but after the first one you know what your 'normal' is and what isn't. I think yall are being too harsh on this lady, I'm sure that even with her 'oh my god we have to go to the hospital right nowww' panic scenario, she will still end up sitting in a bed for a long time before anything significant happens.

Edit: also I think we are all overlooking the best part of the post where the husband reveals he wants her to do it a different way because it is more convenient for him as he is the one doing the driving.

DamnitGannet fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Nov 8, 2019

TheScott2K
Oct 26, 2003

I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Leon Einstein posted:

Or that's literally exactly what she said?

Sometimes I wonder how many r/r posts are about you.

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Given the complications during her first birth, is there an increased likelihood of a second breech/other issues?

sweet thursday
Sep 16, 2012

So we're going to give these r/ people the benefit of the doubt now?

Poppycock!

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

TheScott2K posted:

"Natural childbirth is The Best" is very real poo poo that is pushed on new mothers unceasingly and it's perfectly fine for her to be like "I want that." It's also perfectly fine for someone to want something important to happen a certain way, regardless of the milestone, and infantilizing them over it is something that weirdly only happens to women.

lol what? Have you never heard the term "manchild"? That's its entire purpose.


lol what is with this thread and taking things that happen to literally all folks from all walks of life and launching into some "THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO WOMEN" hysterics.

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004

Barudak posted:

We almost made it a week. To avoid a derail, no posts about the music at your wedding unless you have photographic evidence of the blue alien lady from The 5th Element singing at it

Hey Barudak, do you wish you had let us get all this pent up energy out of our system from critiquing each other's musical taste, instead of this?

InediblePenguin
Sep 27, 2004

I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

Chomp8645 posted:

lol what? Have you never heard the term "manchild"? That's its entire purpose.


lol what is with this thread and taking things that happen to literally all folks from all walks of life and launching into some "THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO WOMEN" hysterics.

i think Scott is being dumb but you're a loving moron lmfao you're drawing a direct equivalency between a woman having an opinion about her birth plan and the behavior that leads to men being called manchildren

DamnitGannet
Apr 8, 2007

Chomp8645 posted:

lol what? Have you never heard the term "manchild"? That's its entire purpose.


lol what is with this thread and taking things that happen to literally all folks from all walks of life and launching into some "THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO WOMEN" hysterics.

To be fair, having natural childbirth pushed on you is definitely a thing that only happens to women and AFAB people. That first doctor I mentioned tried to talk me into the natural childbirth thing even after I explained to her my plans to transition after I finished having kids and how having to push a baby out my cervix was loving with my gender dysphoria but she simply didnt get it because 'but but your vagina was made for this!!!'

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Dazerbeams posted:

The mother wants to wait until the very last moment before rushing off to the hospital, emphasis on rushing. Wanting a natural childbirth without induction or epidurals is different from throwing caution to the wind and hoping it all works out okay, also putting a lot of sudden pressure on her spouse. Why not just do a home birth with a doula on hand? Why wait until she's feeling contractions before traveling to where medical professionals are? It's not like women don't die during childbirth due to unexpected complications.

Plus the risk of getting into a car accident is way higher when you’re driving in a time-sensitive, high pressure environment when you aren’t used to it. It’s putting other drivers at risk, it’s putting her, her husband, and her child at risk, and it’s all for an “experience” that’s going to be lovely anyway.

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
I have no idea what the relevance of manchildren is to this discussion and that’s all I really have to contribute to it

DemoneeHo
Nov 9, 2017

Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca


It must be "bad judgments about haircuts" week

AITA: For Getting My Daughter a Haircut?

quote:

Throwaway

For ease, I refer to my daughter as Gem.

My 12-year-old daughter is biracial (black from me and white from her mother) and has a hair grade called 4B (tightly coiled hair). Since she started middle school, she has begged me and my ex to get her hair chemically relaxed, so it can be straight. I said no because Gem has never had harsh chemicals in her hair before and it can be damaging if not done by a professional.

Last weekend, my ex put a lye-based relaxer into our daughter’s hair. My ex has no experience putting relaxers into hair, especially black hair. As a result, she screwed up and Gem’s hair was damaged to the point it was falling out in clumps.

When I received Gem for my custody time. I took her to a professional salon. Our beautician examined Gem’s hair and advised that it was best to cut it, so it will grow back properly. She promised that she would make Gem beautiful, and Gem agreed to the haircut.

After it was done, Gem was happy and quite ecstatic about how her hair turned out. Please refer to the below link to see what style was given to Gem.

When my ex saw Gem’s hair, she cried. She yelled at me that I had no right to cut Gem’s hair without her consent and now she looks like a boy. I fired back she had no right to yell at me because it was her stupidity as to why Gem’s hair needed to be cut in the first place and what made her think she knew enough about black hair to do a relaxer.

To cut a very long story short that involved a very long argument, she called me an rear end in a top hat for not at least telling her that I would be getting Gem’s haircut.

So what am I Reddit?

https://therighthairstyles.com/short-natural-haircuts-for-black-women/5/

Edit: Based off some of the comments, I want to clarify a few things. My ex knows how to do black hair to a certain extent. She has given Gem a variety of styles over the years, but she knows nothing about relaxers or any harsh chemicals for hair. I was not told that Gem's hair was going to be straightened. I only found out when she sent a Snapchat of the disaster. I'm not opposed to her hair getting straightened, I just dont want it done by chemicals. My thing right now as a father is teaching her how to love herself, especially since the only reason she wanted her hair straight in the first place is because one girl at her school called her hair nappy.

Edit 2: Thank you for everyone that has commented. Because I have seen this comment come up multiple times. When the relaxer incident happened, Gem sent me a Snapchat and then called me crying, because her hair was already falling out when the relaxer was being washed out. I think it sat in her hair to long. She didn't even go to school on Monday, because the way her hair looked.

Gem is getting alot of compliments for her hair and has told me she likes how it fits her face.


AITA for cutting my daughters hair?

quote:

Throw away because I don’t want Reddit to know that I’m Mormon. Some background information is relevant here. My first wife and I got married way too young. We both grew up Mormon, but she soon started having doubts and left the religion. Even though we were only married for two years we have a daughter together. She ended up leaving the church, I stayed. I have primary custody of my daughter. She only goes to my wife Friday-Sunday every other weekend. Her mother is an artist, so she’s a lot less stable income wise, and lives in a studio apartment. I am remarried and have two other children with my current wife.

Daughter is 14 and beginning to be a bit rebellious. I get it. Since she stays with us however, she is required to go to church, and she must look presentable. A while ago, when she went to stay with my ex she allowed her to get what is called a bar piercing in her ear. My daughter already has two lobe piercings in each ear. I don’t like it, but I chose to pick my battles and not say anything about it. After the bar piercing I told my ex that she had to consult me if she was going to alter my daughter’s appearance in any way from now on. I let her keep the bar piercing in her ear as long as she covers it with her hair while at church. Lately my daughter has been wanting to dye her hair. I have told her that she’s not allowed to. She can color her hair when she is no longer under my roof. Well this weekend she want to my ex’s, and guess what she comes back with? Bright blue hair! The hair is not completely blue, a good four inches of it is blue at the bottom. I am pissed. I demand her mother to give me money to take her to a salon to dye it back to a natural color. We go to the salon, and they try to dye the hair back to a normal color but it comes out a mucky green color. I tell the stylist to cut it off, into a pixie style. My daughters hair is already short, a bit longer than chin length, and she has had short hair before. But now since her ears will be showing at church, the bar piercing needs to come out as well. My daughter is refusing to speak to me and is very upset, and my ex-wife is threatening to take me to court. I thought that I handled this appropriately but now I’m staring to doubt what I did. AITA?

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

InediblePenguin posted:

i think Scott is being dumb but you're a loving moron lmfao you're drawing a direct equivalency between a woman having an opinion about her birth plan and the behavior that leads to men being called manchildren

I am drawing a direct equivalency? How? One is a specific event. The other is general concept.

The guy said only women get infantilized for being weird and specific about things, which is obviously not true. We've seen a million stories where a dude acts weird because he some preconcuived notion of things or wants to enact something from fantasy into real life and gets roasted as a manchild for it. And rightfully so! It's just not a gender specific thing at all and it's ridiculous to claim it is.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

TheScott2K
Oct 26, 2003

I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Chomp8645 posted:

I am drawing a direct equivalency? How? One is a specific event. The other is general concept.

The guy said only women get infantilized for being weird and specific about things, which is obviously not true. We've seen a million stories where a dude acts weird because he some preconcuived notion of things or wants to enact something from fantasy into real life and gets roasted as a manchild for it. And rightfully so! It's just not a gender specific thing at all and it's ridiculous to claim it is.

LMAO

Be sure and put this in the manifesto you leave behind when you shoot up a yoga studio someday

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply