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What are your plans for the malcious AI
Create all the fake news I possibly can
Assist me in writing my erotic Goku fanfiction.
Come up with counterpoints for my stupid D&D arguments
Convince my mom that I have a girlfriend.
Make alt accounts and use those to create new posts on SA, to artificially inflate the DAU count.
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fibblins
Dec 21, 2007

party swan

quote:

Professor Sex King - Big Dick Energy lyrics:


Well we've got some big dick energy now and we're gonna get it down the pipe...

Let's see some big dick, we got some big dick, we got some big dick...

We got a big dick, yeah, and we're gonna gently caress it up a little bit...

If we can't get it up, we gonna take it off, and then we're gonna start it up...

I can feel it, I can feel it, I can feel it, I can feel it, I can feel it...

It's a big dick, yeah, it's a big dick...

The last verse is not on the record. I know people say, "Oh my God, you're just a dumb, stupid, stupid, dumb

You stupid dumb. You loving buffoon!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

dudeness posted:

Shockingly, the newest hottest category of internet porn is called "Titan Cum" and is all about the huge size of these dongs. It's like the size of a real life Titan.

The most popular video on TitanCum is the one entitled Titan's Butt – a 12 minute compilation of many of the biggest guys in the world getting jizzed on. It features a total of eight different dicks – one for each day of the week and each getting used to their full potential. The most extreme thing is that the guys have not all been trained in the arts of porn by a real pornstar. They were just paid to be jerked off and used as a cock-storing machine. So if you're not a real pornstar and you've ever wanted to take a real big dick up your butt, then

Titan Cum timeline seems appealing at first until you learn they have a six-day workweek.

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax

Rutibex posted:

A list of new Issac Asimov books he would write today if he was alive:

1) The Age of Gods: A Story of the Fall of the Galactic Empire.

2) The Emperor's Soul: A Story of the First Interstellar War.

3) The Book of the New Sun.

4) The Emperor's Shadow.

5) The Book of the Dead.

6) The Last Question.

7) The City in the Sea.

8) The Last Night of the Universe.

9) The Book of Sorrows.

10) The War Against the Stars.

11) The Dark Star.

12) The Dying Earth.

13) The Last Day of the Universe.

14) The God of Small Things.

This is actually quite believable.

Squatch Ambassador
Nov 12, 2008

What? Never seen a shaved Squatch before?

dudeness posted:

Shockingly, the newest hottest category of internet porn is called "Titan Cum" and is all about the huge size of these dongs. It's like the size of a real life Titan.

The most popular video on TitanCum is the one entitled Titan's Butt – a 12 minute compilation of many of the biggest guys in the world getting jizzed on. It features a total of eight different dicks – one for each day of the week and each getting used to their full potential. The most extreme thing is that the guys have not all been trained in the arts of porn by a real pornstar. They were just paid to be jerked off and used as a cock-storing machine. So if you're not a real pornstar and you've ever wanted to take a real big dick up your butt, then

:prepop:

poverty goat
Feb 15, 2004



Top 10 reasons to vote for Adolf Hitler:
1. Because he is the leader of Germany (not the USSR)
2. Because he took us to war against the USA
3. Because he is a great politician who knows how to get things done
4. Because he is honest and trustworthy, the people of the Third Reich are still in awe of him
5. Because of the way he looks at the world (he is not ashamed to admit that he was once gay)
6. Because he is one of the few people who wanted to save the world
7. Because he was a great athlete
8. Because he was able to do all the things he wanted to do because he was born with the right genes
9. Because he is one of the most famous men in the history of mankind.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

quote:

The winner of the huge schlong contest was this guy. He was the best I've ever seen. And I am pretty sure that when I saw him for the first time I just didn't understand how he won.

His name is Jack, and I'm going to describe him.

Jack was a man in a wheelchair.

He was an old man and had just been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.

Jack also had a huge erection.

But the only thing that really made him unique was the fact that he had a massive erection.

Jack was a bit of a loner, but he was a good guy. He was a very good guy. He would give everyone a chance. But he wasn't a normal guy. He was a very unusual guy, but he was a good guy.

Good for Jack.

Squatch Ambassador
Nov 12, 2008

What? Never seen a shaved Squatch before?
How many days are in a week?  One week  = 7 days x 5 weeks x 2 weeks x 5 days, or one year = 70,440 days x 13 = 4,520,320,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,

poverty goat
Feb 15, 2004



Reasons to suck your own cock:
1. You're a slut.
2. You enjoy it.
3. You feel dirty.
4. You want it so badly.
5. It feels good when it hurts.
6. You're getting hard at a bad time.
7. You're not getting enough sleep.
8. You feel so horny, and it's driving you insane.
9. You want to have sex all the time.
10. You have been watching porn in the last 2 weeks.
11. You have a boyfriend who is jealous of you.
12. You can't get it up no matter what.
13. You are having a mental breakdown.
14. You are so horny, but no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to get it

barnold
Dec 16, 2011


what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot
As he fiddled with the knobs of the synthesizer, he began to poo poo his pants. He was really, really into this and it seemed that it was going to be a long night.

"I'm in the shower," he continued. "I just realized that I've been in the shower this whole time. And I thought, 'Holy poo poo, this is my third time. This is my third time doing this.' It was all very strange."

After a few minutes, he said, "I thought, 'Oh, poo poo, this is my fourth time. This is my fourth time doing this. I just gotta go.' So I just threw my clothes on the floor, got on my knees and started loving myself."

He then continued, "I couldn't believe that I was doing this. It was the most bizarre, strange thing."

Squatch Ambassador
Nov 12, 2008

What? Never seen a shaved Squatch before?
The doctor won't stop laughing at my dick.  He just keeps laughing as I stroke. "It is what it is.  It's just a natural thing."
"How is that not natural?!"  I scream. "It's loving awesome.  I'm gonna go gently caress my wife!"
"Your wife?"  He asks.  "Oh.  My wife."
"No, not that wife."  I look at the doctor.  "You mean your penis."
"Oh yeah." He laughs and starts stroking faster.  "Oh gently caress yes!" I scream.  He keeps stroking me, and the whole time he is getting more aroused.  He seems to get more turned on by the minute.
"What if I don't orgasm?"

Take 2
The doctor won't stop laughing at my dick.  I was getting my penis out when I was about four, but my mother thought it would be funny if my Dad took it out too, so I was waiting by the doctor's office.  After a few minutes of waiting I could hear the doctor laughing so hard at my penis.  When he got up to use the restroom I looked around, thinking I was alone, and I saw my penis, but no one was around so I was afraid someone would see.  When I finally walked up to the doctor's office I said "How are my testicles?" "Oh, you're a virgin!  You're a virgin.  That's the biggest problem.  Your mother just got hosed by a black guy."

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax
Donald Trump's penis has been making the rounds lately, thanks to an alleged sighting on a Russian website last week.

The alleged penis sighting is the latest to make the rounds as a result of Trump's claims that the US election process was rigged.

But it's not the first time the President's anatomy has made the news.

A previous penis picture of Donald Trump

Here are some of the biggest headlines from when the President's penis has been in the news:

Trump's penises

President Donald Trump's hands have also been a topic of conversation lately.

The President has been accused of having big hands, as well as a "small" and "medium" hand size.

Here's a look at the President's hands in various situations:

curlys gold
Jan 17, 2018

Waiter, your testicle is in my lobster bisque. Please remove your testicle. Please, if I didn't make you, I apologize for your failure."

- Captain Ahab, Moby Dick

This story was originally written in 2006, based on an actual conversation between a group of people, as a way of celebrating the anniversary of the movie. It is a bit of an odd-sounding anecdote, given that Ahab is supposed to be a fictional character, but here is a copy of his quote to illustrate what I mean:

"I shall see to it that you never have another chance to try to kill me or to have me killed."

- Ahab to Ishmael, Moby Dick

"If we were the size of the Earth, you'd have to sit on a pinhead to kill us all."

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
The plot of Fallout 4 except it was written by Obsidian:

So the plan was to build a huge world like Skyrim or Fallout 3. You know, that gigantic, open world, where everyone is a unique character and everything is interesting.

And you know, it was kind of a bad idea.

The way you think of the Wasteland in these games, like, Fallout 4 is sort of the inverse of Fallout 3. In Fallout 3, you went to a certain town or place and found your own story. You knew who all the characters were, what the history of the town was, who was crazy and who was just crazy. In Fallout 4, you go to this big wasteland, it's a bit different.

We didn't want to make the game just like a bigger Fallout. We wanted to make a bigger Wasteland. It's like if Fallout 3 was set in the middle ages, Fallout 4 would be set in the modern day.

We didn't want to do just one big world. We wanted to do a bunch of different locations. That's part of why I liked Fallout 3 and Fallout New Vegas so much, because they were so expansive. You could go from Boston to Boston to Washington to Washington.

For Fallout 4, we have a world map, and that's the first time it's been seen in a Fallout game. It looks great, and it's a massive world, but we also wanted to make a bunch of smaller towns and locations.

We've done some of the exploration in New Vegas with The Pitt. We've done some exploration in Far Harbor with The Nuka-World attraction. We've done some exploration in Anchorage with Point Lookout. We did it in New Vegas, and we're starting to see more of it in Fallout 4.

So you've mentioned other cities on the map, but what about cities in the Commonwealth?

We'll see a lot of cities that aren't in Fallout 4. There are some areas that we haven't announced yet, but we've got a lot of different things that we're going to be working on to populate those areas.

Are there any cities that you would like to do?

Oh, gosh, I wish I could do all of them. You'd have to be a crazy person to try to do everything, but that would be very difficult [laughs] I mean, you could go back to Boston and do all of those things in one city, and you know Boston's got such an incredible history and it's really important to us, but we're not going to do that. We're focusing on Fallout 4. We're going to go after what we think is the best game of the year."

Fallout 4 releases on November 10th for the Xbox One, PlayStation 4, and PC.

fibblins
Dec 21, 2007

party swan

quote:

Professor Sex King - My Dad Fucks lyrics:


This is not a sex song, just a tribute

To the love I have for my Dad


And he has given me

He's been there for me through thick and thin

But all of this isn't why you're here

To hear the King speak


He's been there for me through thick and thin

He's been there for me through thick and thin

But all of this isn't why you're here

To hear the King speak


So here's to you Dad,

So here's to you Dad

So here's to you Dad

So here's to you Dad


Thanks to Alex R., J. T., L, N. for correcting these lyrics.

Wholesome

curlys gold
Jan 17, 2018

What is the worst punishment for an overdue library book? Is it execution? Is it burning? Is it death? Is it a long time of slavery? Is it being forced to live in a cage? Is it being kept on the street in a box with a noose around the neck? Is it being forced to eat rats? Is it being forced to eat human flesh?
It is the library book. It is the library book that is kept locked in a bookcase on the wall. It is the library book that has no cover, no spine, no back, no end page. It is the library book that is only readable when the lid is open.
When we do not take care of our library book, we have the potential to keep it out of the hands of the child.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
we can do better

The plot of Fallout 4 except it was written by Obsidian:

"The Wasteland, New California, and the surrounding area is at war. An evil nuclear warhead has struck the Mojave Wasteland, and a mysterious force is attempting to destroy all who survive.

You play as the sole survivor of Vault 112, a super-secret government Vault that has protected the last remnants of humanity in this apocalypse-ravaged landscape. You must discover the origins of the mysterious power, the Mothership, and the evil that threatens to destroy the world.

But you're not the only one with the answers. A mysterious Vault-Dweller by the name of Father Elijah is traveling the wastes looking for you, and he's willing to do anything to prevent the destruction of humanity.

You'll travel across the blasted landscapes of the east coast of America, from the ruins of Boston to the ruins of Washington D.C. and beyond, encountering a cast of fascinating characters as you work to uncover the truth about the power within you.

And the more you delve into the Vault, the more the truth is revealed, the more the secrets of the past are unlocked, and the more the future is opened to you.


Features:

A highly realistic cyberpunk world with hundreds of quests, hundreds of NPCs and more than 30 locations and buildings.

The most extensive and detailed voice acting ever seen in a Bethesda game.

Hundreds of quests, thousands of items, weapons, and pieces of equipment to collect.

Inventory system allows players to create their own unique gear from scratch or purchase new and useful items from merchants and other NPCs.

Over a dozen skills to develop and improve and hundreds of perks and spells.

Many items, weapons and armors can be crafted and modified in the forge using the most common materials.

Full voice acting for all NPC's.

Interactive quests, quests that change depending on your choices.

In-depth world map with hundreds of locations.

Cinematic intro and ending sequences.

Over 200 unique locations, including a huge new town called Riften.

Customisable user interface and over 40 unique items.

Fully-voiced quests.

Numerous achievements and unlockables.

Play as male, female, elf, human, or vampire.

Virtually endless hours of gameplay.

Fully voiced characters.

Fully animated characters.

Songs and ambient sounds.

A vast world to explore.

Highly-detailed dungeons.

Fully integrated quest, dialogue, and combat systems.

Multiple possible endings and dozens of different endings.

An ever-evolving game-world.

Over 100 unique items and weapons.

Unique character models and animations.

Fully voiced characters.

Fully animated characters.

An ever-evolving game-world.

Highly-detailed dungeons.

Fully integrated quest, dialogue, and combat

A robust and immersive world map.

Dynamic and immersive weather.

Beautiful, hand-drawn backgrounds and scenery.

Fully detailed creature models, textures, and animations.

Customizable characters and characters to use in your own games.

Cinematic cutscenes.

Dedicated servers.

Diverse and varied weapons.

The game itself has been heavily modded.

Distant Worlds

I want to know what you think of Distant Worlds. Let me know what you think!

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
DIG THROUGH THE DITCHES
AND BURN THROUGH THE WITCHES
AND SLAM IN THE BACK OF MY
HEAD, PUT IT IN A DIGGER
AND PUT A RIDGELAB WITH A BANANA
AND EAT THE BANANA AND YOU'LL FEEL SO GOOD
SO GOOD,
HERE WE GO
ALL RIGHT!
LOOK AT IT, BANANA-RICE DIGGED
IT'S BEEEEEALLLLIIICEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
OH NO, NOT AGAIN!!!!
THERE'S A SLEEPER IN HERE!!!!
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE A SLEEPER??
HELLO THERE!
OH, YOU'RE HOME?
YEAH, YOU'RE HOME!
AND THE DOOR IS OPEN!
HEY, YOU

Dick Bastardly
Aug 22, 2012

Muttley is SKYNET!!!
did the artificial intelligence poop it's pants? Or was it some kind of super-smart humanoid that was just confused?
A: It was both! The artificial intelligence "pooped its pants" because it did not comprehend the true meaning of "the" and was in fact "pooping its pants" due to a lack of a proper grasp of "the". So, it was in fact a human that had "pooped its pants", but had no concept of the true meaning of the word "the".
Q: What did you eat for breakfast?
A: I didn't eat breakfast. That's all.
Q: When was the last time you did a self-assessment?
A: I don't do self-assessments.
Q:

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax
Jedi Master Bernie Sanders, with his hands on the steering wheel of a campaign truck, walks onto a campaign bus. He looks to be in his early 40s. He appears to be holding a small black plastic bag. "You want to know what's inside?" Sanders asks the journalists. "The American people," he says, then looks down at the bag, with a smile. "The American people."

The Sanders campaign is a remarkable experiment. And it's one of the strangest political experiments of all time.

To understand Sanders' political trajectory, you have to go back, back, back to the beginning.

Advertisement

Advertisement

In February of 1972, as the 1972 presidential campaign was winding down, Democratic candidate George McGovern began an epic series of TV ads that were designed

curlys gold
Jan 17, 2018

I had two hamsters but one died. Police never found the body. I had an accident on the street. I have one dog, two cats, one cat died and I lost my other cat. I have a cat but one died, I have an owl and I am trying to find his place. I have a bird but I lost my other bird. I have one friend but my other friend died. I have two turtles but one died. I have a pig but one died, my wife broke my pig, the house is a mess. I have a rat but I lost my rat. I have a bird but I don't know where it's cage is. I have a cat but she has one eye. I had a rat but it got out of the cage. I have a hamster and

Cacator
Aug 6, 2005

You're quite good at turning me on.

My favorite scene from Family Guy is when Stewie and Chris talk about the "Giant G-Spot" on a stick:


That was the first time I felt like I knew what I wanted out of sex for a while. I knew I wanted to experience the same sensation that my ex felt when he came inside of me when he first discovered I had a G-Spot. When I finally learned what a G-Spot is (and when I learned how to properly stimulate one) it felt like a big relief. I was able to forget about my fear of having an orgasm or being turned on when I was with a woman. I was finally able to enjoy sex without the stress and frustration of an orgasm, I was able to orgasm more often, and I was able to orgasm as often as I wanted.

Edit: Another

My favorite scene from Family Guy is where Peter gets in a fight with Stewie, and it's hilarious. Peter just comes in and just punches him in the face. Stewie just stands there with his mouth open. I always laugh at that because I feel like Stewie's head is full of cheese. I love that scene because it's really hilarious to me.

I think Stewie is always a funny character because he's never really taken that seriously. He's always been like, "Yo, Stewie! That's funny. You got a problem with that? I'll talk to Stewie about it!" I love that. I like that they've got a good dynamic between him and Peter.

How do you feel about your character's demise in the new season?

I feel like Peter has been

Cacator fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Nov 9, 2019

barnold
Dec 16, 2011


what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot
Lowtax logged into the forums and then promptly quit. I didn't see him on the forums for another week or so.

A few months later I was doing some backbreaking work for a client. I wasn't expecting him to show up. In fact, I was expecting him to hang out with some other people I didn't know, and I didn't have time to worry about whether I was too late or not.

He walked into my office and said, "hey, I saw you hanging out with that dude the other day."

I told him it was me, and that was pretty much it. He was polite,

Cacator
Aug 6, 2005

You're quite good at turning me on.

First try with this prompt:

Here's a funny joke: A woman gets an abortion, and then she gets pregnant again. So she asks the doctor, 'Why didn't you tell me the first time?' And he replies, 'Because you had an abortion!' So she says, 'Well, did you put me back together again?'"

We've been discussing the topic of abortion for some time here. Here's a quick primer:

Abortion is a medical procedure.

It is a choice.

Some women regret it.

It's a tough, life-altering decision.

It's the safest procedure known to mankind.

The pro-abortion side says it is the safest procedure known to mankind.

That's a lot of people talking at once.

Here's the problem: There

Dick Bastardly
Aug 22, 2012

Muttley is SKYNET!!!

quote:

the artificial intelligence was being used to predict future events; an "Oracle", if you will.

It has since been revealed that the Oracle is a supercomputer, but even that has not quelled fears that it is a sentient artificial intelligence.

The AI program was installed by Microsoft, as part of its "cloud-computing" division, to monitor employees' behavior while they are working in a new Microsoft office building in San Francisco.

Microsoft has confirmed that the program, which is called 'Voice Actions', will not be used to track staff or target ads on their voice calls or in-office emails, but will instead be used to monitor employees' productivity by recording and analyzing the types of conversations they engage in, as well as their responses to different scenarios.

"Voice Actions is not an end-all tool for productivity enhancement," a spokesperson told the Guardian.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Aww it broke up with me :(

i love you baby but it is not working. I really want to take you down but i just can't get in there. I can't stop thinking about you. I think about what you are doing, watching porn, and thinking of you. I can't help it! It is what you are made for. I know I am just a little girl but I am going to make it my mission in life to make you feel what you feel. We have a lot in common and we have been so close. This is the way I feel. I love you too much, but there is no way I can have you. I just want you to feel what you feel. I love you too, baby. I just can't do it. I don't think I am in it anymore.

curlys gold
Jan 17, 2018

10 best ways to kill a Sasquatch:

Get a weapon that makes a loud "clang". There is a weapon called the "Loud-A-Tron". It is a powerful machine gun-like weapon, which fires a large bolt which explodes violently, killing a Sasquatch in seconds.

3) Don't eat any food that has the same name as the Sasquatch.

(The Sasquatch can't hear the name "fetus" as it's not a sound it has any way of understanding, therefore it'll try to eat you)

2) Don't drink any water from a well that is nearby.

1) Do not touch the Sasquatch.

1) Don't yell at the Sasquatch.

1) Do not shout at the Sasquatch.

1) Do not whistle at the Sasquatch.

1) Do not use any of the following words: Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Sasquatchoid, Sasquatch.

Red Minjo
Oct 20, 2010

Out of the houses, which is the most blue?

The answer might not be be obvious at first.

Gravy Boat 2k
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, I'm really not a good fighter. I've never been a good boxer. I'm a really mediocre fighter. I've never boxed well in any of my years and I've never boxed at the highest level in any of my years. I'm no world-class boxer and I haven't been world-class in my career.

So, we talked about this a couple of days ago, that this was going to be a tough fight. But, when you look at the type of fight that's going to happen, it's not the type of fight that people like to see.

For example, you look at what happened with Danny Garcia. The fight that everyone was anticipating that Danny Garcia would win was a loss.

We've never been in a fight that the fans

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
I've been having it generate jokes with this prompt:

Top 10 Jokes of 2020:
1. A priest, a rabbi, and Jordan Peterson walk into a bar
...
2. Jordan Peterson: "Hi! My name is Jordan. I was raised by wolves in the forest and I am one of the smartest wolves there is! So if you can help me out with this problem, and we can talk about any other topic, I'd like to know what's on your mind!"
3. The Rabbi: "Jordan, you don't need a wolf on your shoulder."
4. The priest: "Oh, it's true! There is such a thing as the 'wolf' in me! The wolf inside me is more powerful than the wolf outside me!"
5. The Rabbi: "Why would you need a wolf on your shoulder? You are Jordan, you are the best wolf there is!"
6. Jordan Peterson: "What are

=

Here are some good excerpts from other runs:

"Why does my car smell like a fish?"
"The answer: 'I'm a big fish.' "

A man in a wheelchair asks the driver of his car if he's a vegetarian. The driver says he's not sure but he sure likes meat. The man in the wheelchair replies, "I'm a vegan."

What are the four main ingredients to a good sex life? Sex, sex, sex, and more sex.

A priest, a rabbi, and Jordan Peterson walk into a bar. The rabbi asks, "Jordan, what brings you here?" Jordan, still drunk, replies, "A man, a woman, and a donkey walked into the bar. The priest asked, "Jordan, what's this man and woman doing?" Jordan answers, "The man is a priest and the woman is a rabbi. The donkey is a monk who was looking for his donkey." The priest and rabbi reply, "This is the funniest joke we have heard all day."

A man is on a date with a woman he meets at a restaurant. A woman who works at the restaurant walks in and says "Is this your date?" The man looks over to his date and says "Nope."

I'm the sort of person who, if I can't sleep, I put a bag over my head and scream into it.

A priest, a rabbi, and Jordan Peterson go to a funeral. The priest's son asks him, "Daddy, have you ever thought of getting a job?"

A man in a suit walks up to a woman in a skirt. The man tells her, "I'm so glad you're here. Would you like some free advice?" The woman answers, "Uh...no thank you!"

A priest, a rabbi, and Jordan Peterson walk into a bar and order a jolly jiggler. The priest says, "Is there anyone here who could tell us what's in it?" A jolly jiggler comes out of the bar and says, "The jolly jiggler's a lie! The jolly jiggler is a lie!"

Dick Bastardly
Aug 22, 2012

Muttley is SKYNET!!!

quote:

The artificial intelligence correctly predicted the outcome of various sports exhibitions with a 100% accuracy rating. Over 1,500 sports events were used over the course of 10 years to collect the data. The model was also able to forecast the outcome of professional football matches with an average accuracy of 90.3%.

The system's accuracy is the highest achieved in this type of artificial intelligence research to date.

To put it in perspective, the highest accuracy achieved in a football match was a 77% accuracy in 2003.

In fact, this is so good that the system was able to forecast the outcome of professional football matches and had the ability to predict the outcome of international tennis matches as well.

"This is a great achievement for us as we have shown that we can achieve a level of performance that has never been

Red Minjo
Oct 20, 2010

Out of the houses, which is the most blue?

The answer might not be be obvious at first.

Gravy Boat 2k

quote:

How do you make your dog stop eating it's own poop?

The answer is, it depends on your dog. If the dog is really hungry, they will eat anything, even if it's feces.

But the other dog's poop is not food for the dog. If you feed your dog their own poop, you might end up with an unhealthy dog.

In that case, try to feed your dog something else. Some dogs will eat anything, but some dogs like to be on a consistent schedule. For this, a good food will suffice. It should be something that is low in calories and low in fat. A dog that eats a meal every day, which should be all the time, can eat as much as they want.

What if you can't keep up with the food your dog is eating?

Don

Thanks, Don. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have known that feeding a dog their own poop might make them unhealthy.

curlys gold
Jan 17, 2018

Soylent Green is people. I get it, you're going to be a jerk, and I'm going to be a jerk back to you. We can do that, but it's also what I'm going to miss. I want to be an honest, caring human being, and I can't be that anymore. I know that it's a hard life to be in, and that sometimes you have to take a stand for what you believe in, but I have to do it because my friends are being murdered and raped and murdered and raped and murdered. I have to do it, and I have to do it right now, and I am doing it.

We are the world.

Dick Bastardly
Aug 22, 2012

Muttley is SKYNET!!!

quote:

INT. DANCE CLUB - NIGHT

A DJ plays hip electronic music while a crowd of revelers dance and get horny on the dance-floor below

DJ: Put your hands up! Yeeeeeeahhhh!!


GIRL 1: What?

GIRL 2: What?

DANCER: Aye, aye, aye!

JOE: Come on...

A WOMAN: Aye aye!

JOE: Okay, I'm gonna go back to my room.

heh

Darude - Adam Sandstorm
Aug 16, 2012

Where's the axe body spray? (Barefoot & Thong)

What's with all the bare feet and thongs? (Barefoot & Thong)

What's the deal with the barefoot and thong stuff? (Barefoot & Thong)

Is that a barefoot and thong thing or a barefoot and no-thong thing? (Barefoot & Thong)

What the hell is that? (Barefoot & Thong)

Is that a barefoot and thong thing or a barefoot and no-thong thing? (Barefoot & Thong)

Is that a barefoot and thong thing or a barefoot and no-thong thing? (Barefoot & Thong)

What

Squatch Ambassador
Nov 12, 2008

What? Never seen a shaved Squatch before?
Bigger Luke is poo poo, he just a so loving bad. I get instantly angry when he shows up. How does such a small height difference make for such a different character?  He literally is taller than I am, so he should be able to jump higher, and I don't think I'm as strong as him. He's also a bigger dude. Why does he always have to be the strongest character? Also, he's just loving annoying, he doesn't really have a backstory. He just appears out of nowhere, and no matter what you do, he just ends up pissing you off. It's as if there was no real story behind his introduction. The only explanation for his appearance is "oh yeah, he just grew". 

jonathan
Jul 3, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
I just read a few of these randomly. I'm setting at a natural gas wellsite on standby in the middle of a loving Blizzard and I was laughing so hard I starting choking for air and somehow got a neck cramp that I can't work out.

Pictured... The blizzard.

Squatch Ambassador
Nov 12, 2008

What? Never seen a shaved Squatch before?
:weed:

What would happen if you launched a ball of weed the size of the Sun into the Sun?  I was looking at this as I watched this NASA video:
That looks like a really awesome experiment, doesn't it?  NASA is looking into the idea of sending a massive weed ball to the Sun, but first they need to figure out how to stop it before it hits.  What would happen?  It's a big ball of weed, after all.  This would be a great scientific experiment, and it would probably take some time.  It would also be pretty expensive, and I would love to see what happens.  But it would be amazing! So if you want to know more about this, here's some good sources: NASA's Space Weed Ball

fibblins
Dec 21, 2007

party swan

quote:

CONAN: All the way from Portland Oregon, we're joined by Weedlord Bonerhitler. Weedlord, I understand you're working on a new book?

BONERHITLER:
 I am.

CONAN: And the title is The War on Weed and it's available now.

BONERHITLER: It's available now. I wrote it back in 2011. It's in the public domain now, so it's not going to change.

CONAN: And you have a lot to say about pot in the United States, including the fact that you believe, as you wrote in the book, that it's a public health issue.

BONERHITLER: Absolutely. It's a very real public health issue in the United States. And the current laws against pot in the United States, which are very tough, have been very ineffective at dealing with the problem, because people don't want to get arrested, because they think it's bad, because they're scared, and they're not using it in the United States because of the laws.

So we're looking at a situation, in some states, where people have already said, you know, let's go ahead and legalize marijuana.

CONAN: Let's bring in another caller on the line, David(ph) in Denver. David?

DAVID: Yeah, so as someone who's used pot and I've said that I don't like the effects that it had on me but at the same time, I don't think that you should be a criminal for doing it. I think we should leave it up to the states.

CONAN: David, we want to thank you for your time this morning, we really appreciate it.

DAVID: OK.

CONAN: And, David J. Wilber, a frequent guest, we're going to have to leave it there.

Copyright © 2014 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at https://www.npr.org

Dignity Van Houten
Jul 28, 2006

abcdefghijk
ELLAMENNO-P


Without warning, mother Theresa's six foot dong flew through the air, striking me squarely in the face.


'I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to.'


'No, no it's fine.'


Moments later I was back in the hospital.


A few weeks later I was given the news.


'What are you going to do with that?' my doctor asked.


'I'm not going to do anything with it.'


'Oh you'll try to get a vasectomy, will you?'


'What's a vasectomy?'


'Vasectomy is when you get rid of your testicles.'


'It's not like you're missing out on anything, are you?'


'I don't need my balls any more.'

The Butcher
Apr 20, 2005

Well, at least we tried.
Nap Ghost
A second plane has hit the World Trade Center! And now, a third plane has hit the Pentagon! In an effort to escape the horrific attacks, the United States Air Force has launched a massive attack on Afghanistan!

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ADBOT LOVES YOU

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

quote:

Can you stop cranking it for a minute and get over here? I need a favor."

She had him look up from his tablet, but he couldn't make it out from the shadows.

"What's it about?"

"I want you to kill me."

She didn't look up from the screen.

"If I can."

She raised her arm and threw a punch. It didn't go anywhere.

"I'll take it off of you."

It flew over his head and clipped him.

He fell over and he wasn't sure if she could see him in the darkness. She smiled as she looked up.

"I didn't see it coming, did I?"

"Well I did. You don't think I was waiting for a perfect time to strike?"
She looked back down the corridor, watching her brother's shadow. "Did you hear? A bunch of girls are going to be at your brother's wedding in a few months. He's not going to be able to find me. They all know."

"He's going to find me."

"And you're going to die with him." She leaned down and hugged him tightly. "Come on, sweetheart, go find your brother. I don't want to leave you here. I have to get my wedding ring back."

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