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# ? Jun 11, 2024 01:18 |
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Customer: Hey Tony, what kinds of tea you got? Tony: All kinds. ---------------- |
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now you drink that in one shot like a man, y'hear? ayyyyy
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sipping limoncello to the sound of Nonna cursing out the cash register
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drives an expensive all white SUV, wears tens of thousands of dollars in gaudy jewelry, only legal form of income is a fruit stand |
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insists customers call it moozadell before i grate it onto their lattes
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im done with this ceegar, and a dis espresso i guess i'll just butt it out in dah grounds
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i keep saying scabbadeech but don't know what it mean, but hey, that's a real scabbadeech
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nut posted:i keep saying scabbadeech but don't know what it mean, but hey, that's a real scabbadeech your empty cuppa? fuggetaboutit! *sloppily pours coffee all over*
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me to waiter: pasta-fa-zool! waiter: I, uh . . . are you saying you want some pasta? it's 7:30 in the morning, our chef-- me (gazing intently): pasta-fa-ZOOL waiter: ah, I'll be right back with your espresso
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take the empty coffee, leave the cannoli
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Being tempted to order the special of the day, a knuckle sandwich
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Heather Papps posted:take the empty coffee, leave the cannoli burns self drinking hot coffee through a hollowed out cannoli
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*orders a cappuccino after noon* *Proprietor frowns, firmly grabs my face with both hands and plants a fat kiss on my lips* *me, slighly stunned* "umm... Oh, don't forget the cinnamon on top" |
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(pushing my plate away) What are you trying to pull here? This Italian wasn't even old! |
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Fondly remembering a time when a thread like this would have gotten lots of angry responses from people saying it engages in Italian stereotypes, while sitting in this old Italian Cafe, pressing my thumb and middle finger together in a gesture of appreciation for the cannoli | |
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cda posted:Fondly remembering a time when a thread like this would have gotten lots of angry responses from people saying it engages in Italian stereotypes, while sitting in this old Italian Cafe, pressing my thumb and middle finger together in a gesture of appreciation for the cannoli aye, tony two step mario legitimized italian caricaturization in a way that will take more then a rewatch of dah sopranos to unpack now shut yer yap and play your drat hand. your tell is stallin', you know? freebie for ya
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*Biting into my canolli as I slowly shake my head back and forth* That's just a like momma used to a make inna the old country! Back inna New Jersey! |
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The entire cafe suddenly goes silent as a patron calls the gravy "marinara" |
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:The entire cafe suddenly goes silent as a patron calls the gravy "marinara" ---------------- |
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SweetWillyRollbar posted:The entire cafe suddenly goes silent as a patron calls the gravy "marinara" suddenly, big jabrone jimmy pulls a revolver from his dish of gnocchi "aye, pallie! i need you to open yer freakin' eyes, and consider the "gravy" of this situation, then let it marinate"
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I'm going to give you an offer you can't refuse, I mutter quietly to myself, sipping a cup of lavazza. My non dominant hand numb but steadied against the cold weighty surface of a well maintained Benelli B76. A fine place for a last cup of joe.
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I love this old Italian Cafe and hope when I die they put up a black and white photograph of me eating a plate of spaghetti with a checkered napkin tucked into my collar, on the wall they have for photos of people doing that | |
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Good old cda, he sure could put away a plate of spaghetti. There's a photo of him right there, behind the counter, next to the bowl of chiclets | |
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They used to call him Joey Two Fingers, because every time he came in he'd order two fingers of whiskey. Great guy. We used to say "hey Two Fingers, how's it going?" He'd say "In your sister up to the last knuckle, ya no good jamooks!" Christ, what an rear end in a top hat. | |
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lol
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totally not the FBI, I take a seat and order a pellegrino. jut sipping pellegrino and enjoying Louis Prima on the jukebox, and totally not the FBI looking for information |
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cda posted:They used to call him Joey Two Fingers, because every time he came in he'd order two fingers of whiskey. Great guy. We used to say "hey Two Fingers, how's it going?" He'd say "In your sister up to the last knuckle, ya no good jamooks!" Christ, what an rear end in a top hat. Ayyy oh, the fuckin' stunahd |
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One of the regulars Jersey George walks in. Everyone calls him that because he always talks about his "friends in Jersey". It's how he likes to imply he's involved with the mob without having to actually say anything definitive in case he meets a real mobster. |
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Hugh Malone posted:totally not the FBI, I take a seat and order a pellegrino. jut sipping pellegrino and enjoying Louis Prima on the jukebox, and totally not the FBI looking for information Guy playing backgammon in the corner motions the owner over. "EY! Tony! TonY!" In a hushed voice he says, "I think we got a spook here! What kind of man comes in here and doesn't mangia da pasta? Knowaddaimean?" |
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I'm the annoying American Tourist sloppily cramming pieces of garlic bread into my mouth and talking about how Little Italy in NYC feels more "authentic". Also why do these Europeans only drink outta tiny cups? What's a guy gotta do to get a Big Gulp around here???
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unironically enjoying the poetry, and only the poetry, of Gabriele D'Annunzio, and paying absolutely zero attention to any other political uprisings he may have inspired.
crimes |
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getting sauced up on espresso and red wine before kicking rear end and liberating the Free State of Fiume on behalf of my favorite poet, Gabriele D'Annunzio
crimes |
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Gritting my teeth as I hear someone say "Bada bing bada boom!" Eyyy, I was havin' a stroke, not tryin' to invent a catchphrase! |
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hi yes i would like the unlimited soup salad and breadsticks
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nut posted:hi yes i would like the unlimited soup salad and breadsticks atta boi! mange, mange!
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# ? Jun 11, 2024 01:18 |
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*whispers to his friend daryl* how do i say, "i'm going to house some loving breadsticks friend-o" in italian
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