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BadSamaritan posted:While I’m pretty sure I took the bait on that, I get frustrated at the sheer amount of garbage reporting demonizing (mothers) for doing anything other than staring lovingly at their child 24/7. That's unfortunate you feel it's demonizing mothers. I posted that as a joke because y'all kept going on with your hot takes about it. I don't remember my parents sitting around on any device or playing video games so I don't do it myself. My wife puts her phone away when she gets home from work as well. My kids have no idea I play videogames when they go to bed. I linked one study and there are others that were done on the subject. At the end of they you are going to parent the way that you want but these researchers genuinely care about child development and aren't trying to attack parents.
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Nov 14, 2019 22:48
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DangerZoneDelux posted:My wife puts her phone away when she gets home from work as well
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Nov 14, 2019 22:52
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Parenting Megathread: YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
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Nov 14, 2019 22:59
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Hardtarget posted:tell me your secrets It's a fun game you play with your friends at lunch. You all put your phones facedown in the middle of the table, and the first person to check their texts has to raise the others' children for 18 years.
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Nov 14, 2019 23:04
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DangerZoneDelux posted:I don't remember my parents sitting around on any device or playing video games so I don't do it myself. I'd say your parents failed since you paid  to be a member on these here forums.
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Nov 14, 2019 23:15
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I won't say having a second kid at 40 was a bad idea because I love my kids with every ounce of my being. But goddamn I am tired. Way more tired than the first.
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Nov 14, 2019 23:24
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There's also studies out there showing that video games have cognitive benefits, and any negative affects are either overblown or non-existent. Soooo But anyway, as for cellphones, most of the studies I've seen about it (and it is still very much emerging research) it's when it's to the level of outright neglect that it starts causing some level of trauma. Ignoring the child, excessive use, etc. No one's kid is going to be permanently damaged because they checked a text while feeding.
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Nov 14, 2019 23:36
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DangerZoneDelux posted:That's unfortunate you feel it's demonizing mothers. I posted that as a joke because y'all kept going on with your hot takes about it. I don't remember my parents sitting around on any device or playing video games so I don't do it myself. My wife puts her phone away when she gets home from work as well. My kids have no idea I play videogames when they go to bed. I linked one study and there are others that were done on the subject. At the end of they you are going to parent the way that you want but these researchers genuinely care about child development and aren't trying to attack parents. When do you saddle up your high horses?
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Nov 15, 2019 00:20
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whydirt posted:I just cut out the middle man and uploaded our kid to the cloud Not to be morbid, but this kinda sounds like you murdered your kid.
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Nov 15, 2019 00:39
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I can’t comment on science and research, but we are on our phones more than we’d like. That said, I’m sometimes on my phone when my kiddo is playing in the living room on his own, and the phone is an afterthought thrown aside once he comes up to me to give me a toy, climb in my lap, or just wants my attention. I do far more playing with him and tickling him and reading him books when his attention span allows any of this for linger than two minutes at a time. But yeah, sometimes I’m playing ES: Blades on my phone when he’s basically ignoring me and doing his thing, which he sometimes would rather do. But again, once he needs or wants my attention in the midst of that, he gets it. Even with that it’s hard not to feel like that’s too much. But admittedly, it’s really really difficult to have nothing to do while he plays on his own, when I keep him home all day especially. We do two episodes of Sesame Street or Pinky Dinky Doo in the morning while he eats breakfast, and no more TV after that. I just turn on music and wonder what to do with myself after that because sometimes when I do get down and try playing with him he goes somewhere else and continues doing his thing. So I’ve been taking him to makeup swim lessons or play places or museums during days he’s at home, and he’s more engaged then.
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Nov 15, 2019 01:32
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DangerZoneDelux posted:I don't remember my parents sitting around on any device or playing video games so I don't do it myself. This reminds me of about 2 years ago when I was eating dinner with my parents. My mother scolded me for looking at my phone while eating. "No phones at the table!", she said while she looked up from her newspaper.
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Nov 15, 2019 03:04
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AngryRobotsInc posted:There's also studies out there showing that video games have cognitive benefits, and any negative affects are either overblown or non-existent. Soooo those studies aren't any more rigorous than the ones saying phones bad. plus, anyone who knows a gamer should realize why conditioning children into that lifestyle is supremely irresponsible. whatever pithy uptick to hand-eye coordination games claim to offer, i bet sports could accomplish the same in half the eye-strain and none of the lootboxes.
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Nov 15, 2019 05:33
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Y'all are crazy defensive. I am writing this one handed on a phone while feeding our baby formula using the Chromecast background on the TV as a nightlight so I'm certainly not on any parenting high horse but other people are allowed to parent differently and have valid reasons to do so without it being a personal attack on you. I also sleep trained, mom of the year over here 
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Nov 15, 2019 05:40
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how can it not be a personal attack on me, when i am the main character of Parenting.
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Nov 15, 2019 05:48
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BonoMan posted:I won't say having a second kid at 40 was a bad idea because I love my kids with every ounce of my being. Hah, we're mid (soon to be late) 40s and had our fourth kid a year and a half ago. Tired isn't really adequate. I subsist on coffee and spite.
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Nov 15, 2019 10:56
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:how can it not be a personal attack on me, when i am the main character of Parenting. It's not you because the entire paediatric/parenting studies area of academia has spent countless years and hours preparing for me to become a parent to launch a detailed, hyper prepared, distributed attack on me and me alone. Actually while we're on the subject, what's the current correct refute to a news article about a single study indicating something dramatic, e.g. one research study indicates you'll certainly get brain tumours living near a main road? My other half sees far too many "news" articles about single academic reports like that.
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Nov 15, 2019 16:40
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Heners_UK posted:It's not you because the entire paediatric/parenting studies area of academia has spent countless years and hours preparing for me to become a parent to launch a detailed, hyper prepared, distributed attack on me and me alone. https://twitter.com/justsaysinmice/status/1118145929314545664
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Nov 15, 2019 16:46
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Heners_UK posted:It's not you because the entire paediatric/parenting studies area of academia has spent countless years and hours preparing for me to become a parent to launch a detailed, hyper prepared, distributed attack on me and me alone. XKCD "Significance"
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Nov 15, 2019 18:24
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gently caress anyone who tells you to be uncomfortable while raising a kid. This poo poo is long, exhausting, very frustrating, and frequently maddening. Denying yourself ways to stay a little sane at the end of the day is just self-flagellation.
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Nov 16, 2019 00:00
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Like this is the world in tyool 2019 and people are suggesting that parents using cell phones will horribly stunt child development like a whole host of extremely dangerous environmental and societal issues won't. Just lmao.
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Nov 16, 2019 00:04
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who cares anyway they'll all be mad maxing it in about 15 years
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Nov 16, 2019 00:32
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I mean, I play games on my phone around my kids and they're a coupla jerks. Always spilling stuff and trying to take each others' toys.
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Nov 16, 2019 00:34
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I remember first beating Katamari Damacy while the kid took a nap on my chest. It was one of those "I absolutely will not allow you to put me down!" days.
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Nov 16, 2019 00:57
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But guys these researchers care about kids and my mom didn't do it and I'm perfect so it must be the only right way to do things.
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Nov 16, 2019 02:05
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i didn't mean to make this a thing, i was just trying to work through my own anxieties by making jokes around it. probably whatever the gently caress you need to do to get through these years without being an exhausted wreck around your kid is fine. don't worry about what this says about the base requirements of the society you're raising your child in. Vote Democrat.
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Nov 16, 2019 04:29
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P-p-p-posting from the 4 Month regression zone! Just finished the midnight to 2 stretch, baby is refueling with mom to power through the next few hours of intermittent coughing, whining, squealing, kicking, and shattering our dreams of “he is breathing really calmly, ok just ease him into the bassi-FUCKKKKKKKKK” My shift has ended thank you and good night!!
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Nov 16, 2019 07:59
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Question for bilingual households: my 16 mo son seems to be on the really slow end of language acquisition. We speak to him exclusively in Russian, but English between ourselves and daycare is in English. He only has a small handful of words right now. Stuff like uh oh, bye bye, some variant of no/nyet, and papa are all he really says consistently, with lots of pidgin/babble. The other day I started saying something to him in English and he seemed to perk up. I'm worried that maybe he's not developing words because he spends most of the day listening to English and doesn't hear enough Russian to really start acquiring it, or the two are confusing him. Daycare hasn't observed any more words than what I have. Should I try switching to English with him for a bit? Keep plugging away at the Russian? I'm wracked with anxiety that he's going to end up in EI when all we really needed was some consistency.
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Nov 16, 2019 15:26
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Non expert repeating of a CBC TV spot I saw about bilingual New Brunswick parents: One parent speaks one language with the kid, the other the other one. It may take a little longer for talking to start but when it does, both languages take.
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Nov 16, 2019 15:33
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It’s common for bilingual kids to take longer to speak. I think 16mo is too young to be concerned, we had a language explosion at 18mo. Also at this age receptive language is more important, as long as he seems to be understanding you I wouldn’t worry yet.
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Nov 16, 2019 15:56
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Still seems within the normal range of speech development for his age, even disregarding bilingualism. From what I can read on parenting sites, bilingual kids don't necessarily start later, but even so it's quite normal for a kid to not start really talking until two years of age.
Hippie Hedgehog fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Nov 16, 2019 |
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Nov 16, 2019 20:54
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People are often quick to blame bilingualism for kids on the late end of normal or actually late. It could just be coincidence. It’s been awhile, but the studies I saw on bilingualism only looked at words in the community language (in this case English) and ignoring the vocab in the home language as though it had no value.
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Nov 16, 2019 23:10
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Right, some sources suggest that bilingual kids should be developing at the same pace, just splitting their vocab between the two languages. I guess it's just more feeling guilty that he might be delayed and it's All My Fault. He's been borderline on the Communication portion of the ASQ3 for the last 2 checkups, and now that it's really starting to focus on actual words, it's causing some anxiety. Though not as much anxiety as having to do a long distance move with a toddler in a week, hey-o! Husband took three hours to sort and pack just his tools, haven't even touched the baby's room. We're doomed. Edit: looking back, my question wasn't very specific. Mostly I'm curious to hear what kind of advice any bilingual families with a language delay got from their peds or therapists with regards to continuing the multiple languages. Just so we're prepared if it comes to that. 2DEG fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Nov 17, 2019 |
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Nov 17, 2019 01:30
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We are raising a bilingual kid but she’s only 7 mo so too early to give personal anecdotes. My husband isn’t bilingual so whatever she learns will be from me. However, I have two cousins who are bilingual, one in Korean and the other in Arabic. My Korean aunt exclusively speaks Korean to him, and my uncle doesn’t speak any. My cousin (an adult now) understands his mom perfectly but isn’t able to say much in Korean. Whether that’s an oddity or because they never made him speak Korean, I’m not sure. My Moroccan uncle spoke Arabic to my other cousin, and my aunt speaks some Arabic, so conversation at home in Arabic was common. He also lived in Morocco during the summers so he was immersed. He could flip between the two languages comfortably from a very early age. I have a few friends with bilingual babies. When they’re really little they don’t understand the difference between the two languages. One girl who was about 2.5 was asked “How does your mom say ‘flower,’” and she thought for a while and replied “flower.” Instinctually they understand that the languages are different, but until they are older, it’s difficult for them to switch on demand. There are so many bilingual kids in the world, eventually they will get the hang of it. Only having a handful of words at 18 months isn’t that uncommon. If you are really concerned, you could speak only English for a while until they have a few more words, then switch back to Russian at home. I think the cut off for learning a language to speak without an accent like a native is something like 10-12 years old, so only speaking one language for a few months won’t delay them learning Russian too.
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Nov 17, 2019 05:36
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2DEG posted:Though not as much anxiety as having to do a long distance move with a toddler in a week, hey-o! Husband took three hours to sort and pack just his tools, haven't even touched the baby's room. We're doomed. Set essentials aside first, leave the bulk of the poo poo for your friends and family to pick through. Whatever they don't want, box and bring with you. If you've owned a thing for more than a year and it's still unused in box? Leave it.
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Nov 17, 2019 05:37
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Agreed 100%. Buy poo poo when you get there and know your specific situation.
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Nov 17, 2019 05:44
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A lot of the de-cluttering movement is sinister attempts to make us rent things we'd normally own but, ask yourself, how much of your own time and energy are you investing into what are essentially disposable knick knacks?
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Nov 17, 2019 05:59
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Yeah, we know a few multilingual families, but they're all older kids and nobody really remembers what their speech was like at this age. We'll see I guess! Funny aside, we moved to the US when I was 7 and my little brother was 6. I'm still fairly conversant, but he seems to have lost almost all Russian speaking ability. Language is wild. We did a pretty good purge when we moved 3 years ago, so it's more a matter of him being the slowest packer in the world. Like, almost missed a flight because he thought he could pack the morning of and took forever agonizing over which long sleeve shirt to bring. I do all the packing now 
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Nov 17, 2019 14:10
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2DEG posted:Right, some sources suggest that bilingual kids should be developing at the same pace, just splitting their vocab between the two languages. I guess it's just more feeling guilty that he might be delayed and it's All My Fault. He's been borderline on the Communication portion of the ASQ3 for the last 2 checkups, and now that it's really starting to focus on actual words, it's causing some anxiety. My (English-only) son is 21mo and only just started speaking, and I know other kids that were slower. But he started understanding us months ago.
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Nov 17, 2019 15:47
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Another update on my sons cold (going on 3 weeks and 2 days). Called the nurse line yesterday to tell them the cough was still happening so they had us come in today. The doctor ruled out RSV, whooping cough, Bronchiolitis, pneumonia. She said that he has a “borderline” ear infection and we can give him Amoxicillin if it doesn’t improve in two days or gets worse (fever, tugging at ear, etc). We then told her that the last two nights have been worse ( up multiple times during the night because of the cough and twice he vomited some food up) so she said we could begin the amoxicillin at our discretion and to let her know if shortness of breath occurs or it doesn’t get better at all in a week. I’ve never had an ear infection since I was little, so I’m not sure what this borderline thing is-she mentioned she saw a little fluid in the ears. She was pretty wishy-washy on the whole thing so my wife and I figure we should just start the amoxicillin today because better yo be safe than sorry, especially with the last two nights getting a bit worse than it has been. I really hate that my 1-year-old can’t tell me what’s wrong-it’s so frustrating to be in this position.
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Nov 17, 2019 17:12
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nwin posted:Another update on my sons cold (going on 3 weeks and 2 days). So we are in the *exact* same boat. Except 5 month old boy and cold has been about a week longer than yours. Doc said same thing... Nothing major, probably back to back colds and maybeeeee the start of a mild ear infection. Gave us amoxicillin to use at our discretion. After a few days of the last visit it was the same so we started the amoxicillin last night. Nothing to help unfortunately but know there's someone going along the same path as you! He acts totally happy except for the constant congestion.
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Nov 17, 2019 18:24
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