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Caught my S.O. [30m] of 4 years secretly sending himself pictures from my [26f] phone[new] TL;DR: He went on my phone when I was sleeping, sent himself 1) a picture of my friend's butt that she sent to me several years ago and 2) several pictures of my very pretty mother from when she was around my age, and then deleted the messages from my phone hoping I wouldn't see. We've been dating and living together for several years. Our sex life is good, and we generally have healthy communication. We're kind to one another. When we first started dating, I had issues with trust and insecurity -- my previous partner was emotionally abusive and cheated on me. Lots of gaslighting. The partner before him also lied to me a lot, he flirted with other women in person and online behind my back. I've slowly learned to trust my current S.O., and I feel like I'm in a good place. We have open phone/computers, and I don't go digging through his stuff because I just don't feel the urge. My mother is very pretty, and I have some pictures of her on my phone from when she was around my age. Her and I look similar. It's kind of an inside joke that my S.O. thinks my mom is attractive -- lots of people think she is, but I tease him about it because she's my mom. It makes sense to me because, you know, he thinks I'm hot, and I'm her kid. Last night we were hanging out with friends, and I was scrolling through my phone to find something to show everyone. I passed a picture of my mother and showed them because it was a cool picture. My boyfriend had a few beers, and he rarely drinks. This morning I noticed that pictures had been sent at 2:06 am from my phone to my boyfriend's phone, but the messages had been deleted. Several pictures were of my mother in her 20s, and one picture was of my friend. Like two years ago, my friend sent me a mirror pic of her butt, clothed in a thong and a tank top. She worked out a lot, and she was showing her glute gains. I told him I saw that he sent himself the pictures, and I asked him to explain. He said he didn't jerk off to them because he felt really bad and weird about it. He kept apologizing, and he said he already deleted them from his phone before I found out. I decided to dive into his internet history, and I saw that at 2:30 am he googled 'how to permanently delete messages'. He said that between 2:06 am and 2:30 am he wasn't jerking off to the pictures, he was just scrolling through more pictures on my phone. Obviously I'm upset. A small part of that is jealousy...but a much larger part is the violation of trust. I trusted him to not do something like that, and he did it behind my back, and he tried to hide the evidence. My friend sent me that picture privately, not for my boyfriend to go and use it for jerk-off material. Also...it's my mom. My trust in him is shaken (I changed my phone and computer password, and I told him that I did). I don't know if I believe that he didn't jerk off to them, I don't know if I believe that he deleted the pictures before I found out. I want to believe him, but I just don't know. He seems very contrite. He's sent himself pictures of me from my phone, and I've told him I don't mind him doing that at all. I don't think he's done this before with other people's pictures. I don't think this is break-up worthy. I feel confused and lost, this came as a shock. I guess I'm looking for some perspective, how much of a red flag this is, how I (we) move forward from here.
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Nov 17, 2019 08:31
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| # ? May 31, 2024 03:06 |
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:I [32M] asked my girlfriend [33F] of 12 years to marry me, and she said no, now she is being extremely distant and i am really confused I have never ever wanted a follow up to a post as much as I want one to this. So many questions and you just feel so bad for the dude.
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Nov 17, 2019 08:38
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:I [32M] asked my girlfriend [33F] of 12 years to marry me, and she said no, now she is being extremely distant and i am really confused God drat. How is it easier for this lady to commit to a mortgage with someone than a marriage?
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Nov 17, 2019 09:10
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AITA for killing my friends bug and refusing to pay her back?quote:My(19M) friend (21F) has these exotic bugs that she keeps in these containers, she is infatuated with them and looks at them like they are cute critters, while I look at them as disgusting little monsters (not trying to offend bug lovers, just a personal opinion) From the title hell yes. From the body of the text, nope, not at all!
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Nov 17, 2019 09:19
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/r/relationships: that is more than I am actually willing to pay for a bug
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Nov 17, 2019 09:39
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Do not put creatures, insect or otherwise, on other people's necks without warning. This should not need to be specified
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Nov 17, 2019 09:43
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Yeah if you put a bug on someone without permission and they squash it that is completely on you.
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Nov 17, 2019 09:48
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Next weekend when I have custody of my idiot straight 28 year old son who I hate, I'm going to take him to my local dive bar and tell him the biggest, meanest looking motherfucker wants to give him a piggy back ride.
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Nov 17, 2019 09:52
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cumshitter posted:Next weekend when I have custody of my idiot straight 28 year old son who I hate, I'm going to take him to my local dive bar and tell him the biggest, meanest looking motherfucker wants to give him a piggy back ride. What if he really does though
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Nov 17, 2019 09:55
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Ghost Leviathan posted:What if he really does though Then the healing can begin.
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Nov 17, 2019 09:59
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I don't want to hurt my son if I don't have to. I just want my spiteful ex-wife to stop forcing these custody weekends on me. She's like, really angry at me because our sexless sham marriage consumed the best days of her life. As if our marriage to didn't ruin my life, too. She's just so selfish.
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Nov 17, 2019 10:03
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So did you get spermjacked, cumshitter?
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Nov 17, 2019 10:18
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Jack-Off Lantern posted:So did you get spermjacked, cumshitter? It was my 5 year anniversary gift to her. I figured that ok maybe she was really in it for the long haul. She had this weird obsession with consummating our marriage that I'll just never understand. I think it's fair to call it a fetish. She had a real fetish of having sex on our wedding night.
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Nov 17, 2019 10:25
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i only ever fall in love with gay men and dead men
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Nov 17, 2019 10:59
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it's a curse
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Nov 17, 2019 10:59
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Beachcomber posted:
This explains everything, tbh
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Nov 17, 2019 11:06
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Pick posted:Maybe your parents did. My parents know that if your kid is afraid of the water, the only thing to do is throw them in. Coming in from page 3629 to say: “If he swims; good. If he drowns; good. Either way strong; strong unsullied.”
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Nov 17, 2019 11:06
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You know, they call the five year anniversary the pewter anniversary for a reason. I just feel like me and my wife may have gotten more out of it we waited for 10 years, our silver anniversary, instead of the 5. But she just wouldn't shut up about her incessant need to have a sexual component to our marriage.
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Nov 17, 2019 11:07
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AITA for mentioning my sister's miscarriage during a fight? I know the title sounds horrible, but hear me out. My (31F) sister (26) had a miscarriage this summer. It was her first pregnancy. It was a blighted ovum miscarriage; a very early miscarriage where an egg never grows into an embryo. She called me in a panic when she first suspected it was happening. I dropped everything I was doing and drove over to her house in the next city over. I was ready to take her wherever she wanted - whatever she needed/wanted to do, I was ready to do it. She made an appointment with her doctor for the next day, and I stayed with her until her husband came home. Over the following weeks, I was there whenever she didn't want to be along. I gave her as much support and guidance as I could - as I have my entire adult life. We are/were very close, and I was generally happy to play the role of supportive big sister. Meanwhile, I've had my own health problems. In the past year, I've been diagnosed with uterine fibroids, depression, and (finally) fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is no fun, and often takes a long time to get diagnosed. I was always exhausted, my muscles all over my body were constantly achy, and on bad days I would have muscle spasms that would lock up my neck, and leave other areas of my body feeling deeply bruised. Physical activity would leave my limbs feeling very heavy, and unnaturally sore for days. I fell into depression. I finally received a diagnosis in September, and was given a prescription (the only prescription that I am on). I felt so much relief that I found a doctor who listened to me. I texted my mom and sister the good news via group text. Mom was happy for me. Sister, on the other had, went off the deep end. Here is a direct quote: "Getting into a regular workout routine would show you that you don't have fibromyalgia. You absolutely won't hear that exercise would make you better, because HA, that's too simple! Have fun being yet another American who is doped up on a million medications for the rest of your life. Congratulations, you just became one of them. It's just the beginning. Have fun." I was blindsided, and I said that I was completely supportive of he when she had her miscarriage, and asked why she was being so hateful. She lost it, saying that I was being spiteful and how dare I use her miscarriage against her. Which of course, I wasn't doing, that would be a horrendous thing to do - I was pointing out the disparity between how I cared for her during her health problems and how she was making GBS threads all over me about mine. She has since cut all contact with me, and then our mom when she took my side. It has been 2 months, and we're as good as dead to her. We found out this week that she's pregnant again, and when I reached out and said I was happy for her, she was FURIOUS that I knew and told me never to contact her again. I don't think I was an rear end in a top hat, neither does my mom. My boyfriend kind of thinks I was. Should I have never brought up the miscarriage in any context? AITA? ETA: we both stopped talking after the fight, but she didn’t tell me not to contact her until I reached out to congratulate her on the pregnancy.
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Nov 17, 2019 11:10
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NTA. Sister shouldn't have started poo poo if she couldn't take it being dished back out. E: it wasn't even throwing it back at her, it was "I supported you though your horrible thing, why are you being a dick" "HOW loving DARE YOU" Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 11:22 on Nov 17, 2019 |
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Nov 17, 2019 11:13
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Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of 3 years, he found out that his ex is engaged and literally won't stop cryingquote:I (22F) met my boyfriend (24M) 3 years ago, through some mutual friends. He was pretty guarded, and I was the one that pursued him. We were long distance (I was living in Oregon, he was living in Washington) until I moved in with him last year. What could it mean? update posted:These last two days have been really emotional. My boyfriend was gone ALL DAY yesterday- he was gone when I woke up (that's fine, I assumed he went to work early) but he still wasn't home when I went to bed. I texted him once when I woke up to say good morning, and twice at night- one asking if he was coming home for dinner, and another asking if he was alright. I also tried calling his cell, but he didn't pick up.
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Nov 17, 2019 11:55
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Eh, that's not so crazy. I have an uncle who never got over his high school crush dumping him. He called me up once because he wanted to ask his optometrist out because "she made a lot of eye contact."
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Nov 17, 2019 12:04
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My boyfriend (M16) and I (F15) have been making out quite a lot and I’ve noticed him cover his crotch area after some makeout sessions. How do I tell if he has a boner? Me (F15) and my current boyfriend (M16) have made out quite a lot in our currently 2 month long relationship, but never gone past that. Not too long ago, I was making out on his bed with him and noticed how afterwards he put his hoodie on his lap for a bit, before putting it on and making sure it was pulled down. I shrugged it off but it happened again recently. We were making out at his place and he made sure his hoodie was pulled down afterwards. I don’t know if erections are obvious or not so I need help/advice with obvious signs? My last boyfriend and I never even kissed due to him not having the courage to do so, so I have no idea what an erection looks like in person, and what some of the signs are. TL;DR! I need to know how to tell whether my boyfriend is getting erections after our make out sessions, and how obvious erections are.
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Nov 17, 2019 12:05
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I dont think you need to go to the observatory for more clues, youve got all the evidence you need
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Nov 17, 2019 12:09
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The next step in your relationship is shouting "SHOW ME YOUR loving DICK" and threatening to punch him.
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Nov 17, 2019 12:13
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My boyfriend (M16) and I (F15) have been making out quite a lot and I’ve noticed him cover his crotch area after some makeout sessions. How do I tell if he has a boner?
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Nov 17, 2019 12:35
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:women just want one thing smdh Just another reason why being straight is inferior to being gay. Gay men all want to get married, hence all the protests and stuff.
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Nov 17, 2019 12:41
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My boyfriend (M16) and I (F15) have been making out quite a lot and I’ve noticed him cover his crotch area after some makeout sessions. How do I tell if he has a boner? Never ask a man if he's hard. Tell him he's hard. Take charge, girl.
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Nov 17, 2019 13:12
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I know it's five pages back but he's absolute trash and he lets you know up-front:tsc posted:Wife (34F) is crazy about a roach problem. Am I (39M) too laid back? Does she need help?  this douchebag has figured out that if he lets pots "soak" in the sink his wife will get sick of it after day three and just wash them. Same about wiping the rim of the toilet with TP once a week, waiting until kitchen trash is "really full" to take it out, etc. Real OCD stuff, you know, just like this arcane practice involving hands, soap, and waterquote:Does she need professional help?
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Nov 17, 2019 13:36
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of 3 years, he found out that his ex is engaged and literally won't stop crying
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Nov 17, 2019 14:30
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Just going to come back to this one: AITA for evicting my son for moving in his girlfriend? Reddit never ceases to amaze, and has vote "Not the rear end in a top hat". I'm not sure people understand the point of their own sub
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Nov 17, 2019 15:33
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OctaMurk posted:The guy's some kind of psychopath tbh. But I don't have sympathy for the woman either--she continued to cheat for a year after the boyfriend found out, and nothing in her post suggests that she understands how her cheating really must have hurt him. It doesn't really make sense to read it that way to me. I think there are just 2 sentences one after the other that are happening contemporaneously.
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Nov 17, 2019 16:21
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of 3 years, he found out that his ex is engaged and literally won't stop crying Well, that could have gone alot worse.
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Nov 17, 2019 16:34
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My (F28) strict Indian parents are have threatened to disown me if I don't break up with my Christian white boyfriend (M32) and abort our child. I (F28) belong to a traditional Hindu Indian family and have been living in the US for 3 years now. I first met my boyfriend (M32) when he came to Goa, India on a backpacking trip. We connected instantly and became good friends. 3 years ago, I moved to US for my job and reconnected with him. We have been together ever since. Now the initial plan was to finish my project in the US, come back to India and get married to a guy chosen by my family. But now I've fallen for my boyfriend. I love him and he loves me. I've met his family and they are wonderful. They have also been incredibly accepting of me, inspite of my cultural background. They are devout Christians, and while they would like me to convert to Christianity, they have never told me so. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend and we soon started living together. My parents back home had no idea. I thought I would first introduce my boyfriend to my parents as a friend and make them like him as a person. I didn't want to shock them with the information that I was dating, let alone that I was dating, having sex, and living with a white guy. My boyfriend had been extremely patient and understanding about my personal situation. He wanted to marry me and start a family. He wanted to do things right. Unfortunately, things didn't go according to plan. I recently found out that I was pregnant. When I found out, I felt very happy. I told my boyfriend and he was ecstatic. He has always wanted to become a father and the news of my pregnancy made him very happy. His family is very excited about the first grandchild. However, when I told my family about it, they lost their poo poo, as expected. They have refused to meet my boyfriend or his family. They have told me that I have ruined their name and reputation. They told me that I was a disgrace. They told me that the only way they would forgive me is if I abort my child, break up with my boyfriend and come back to India. If I fail to do that, they have threatened to disown me. Ever since I was met with that reaction, I have lost my sleep. I can't eat, I can't function. I have been crying for days. My boyfriend is heartbroken. I don't want to abort our child. We have already named him. But at the same time I cannot bear the thought of losing my family. I really need some perspective. I can't live this way. How do I convince them?
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Nov 17, 2019 16:42
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [24 M] of 3 years, he found out that his ex is engaged and literally won't stop crying I love a happy ending 
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Nov 17, 2019 16:44
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Hi from 30 pages back, I hope this hasn't been posted yet.
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Nov 17, 2019 16:47
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Also from 30 pages backPatrick Spens posted:What? This is Bullshit! Free Pick!
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Nov 17, 2019 16:52
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DeadMansSuspenders posted:I [32M] asked my girlfriend [33F] of 12 years to marry me, and she said no, now she is being extremely distant and i am really confused This story is just plain crazy. She was okay with being with him for 12 whole years, including owning a house together. They were virtually married except in name... but she couldn't actually marry him for some reason?!! What happened?
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Nov 17, 2019 16:58
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:This story is just plain crazy. She was okay with being with him for 12 whole years, including owning a house together. They were virtually married except in name... but she couldn't actually marry him for some reason?!! What happened? I have heard of couples who are together for 10+ years who get married and divorce after like three months.
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Nov 17, 2019 17:11
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The most upsetting thing is he never updated. He went dark for a bit, then came back after a long while to posting on Reddit about his table top games and stuff. I WANT TO KNOW At least in the comments, it seems like weekend they discussed marriage before, the goal posts were always moving. Like she's agree they should get married "when we settle down" "when I complete residency" "when we have retirement saved to a certain point". When all the things were accomplished, he finally asked, and I don't think she actually realized they completed all their goals. Just from that, it's difficult to tell if she just is one of those people that hates the concept of marriage in general and couldn't tell OP, or had a secret shame that she confronted when he asked, or past trauma, or what
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Nov 17, 2019 17:14
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Cat Army