Elentor posted:

Slightly unrelated but https://artbreeder.com/ now allows portraits. You can finally crossbreed your photos with Nomura's drawings, style-transfer and Nomurafy yourself. Zippers optional.

Or vice-versa. Here's what it thinks of Seifer:

Detective Buttfuck posted:

I did George Costanza crossed with Jenova's headless corpse and it gave me this

Solice Kirsk posted:

I mixed Kefka with an oatmeal cookie and got this:



and

Krankenstyle posted:

https://thiscatdoesnotexist.com/

Hempuli posted:

Eats, 1 Poodle, a Husband

Hempuli posted:

More books! This time I removed all book titles starting with a number and most parentheses from the dataset, because parentheses were usually used to mark which part of a series the book was, and there were several sci-fi and other books that had just numbers in the title. Emphasis mine, as usual. Somehow it's gotten much harder to find good entries; I've pondered this before but it really might be that with markov chains increasing the dataset size might make the results more predictable in a bad way.

Hempuli posted:

More books! This time I removed all book titles starting with a number and most parentheses from the dataset, because parentheses were usually used to mark which part of a series the book was, and there were several sci-fi and other books that had just numbers in the title. Emphasis mine, as usual. Somehow it's gotten much harder to find good entries; I've pondered this before but it really might be that with markov chains increasing the dataset size might make the results more predictable in a bad way.

Dick Trauma posted:

Supersonic Shine posted:

Provocative Surviving School is just Battle Royale and every other high school death game that cribbed from it.

Antivehicular posted:

I feel like Glitter Baby Swap Miracle For To Hold is either a YouTube video title or a shovelware phone app. Maybe both.

Hempuli posted:

Hempuli posted:

It's wonderful! Amazing work!

Hempuli posted:

Elentor posted:

Nyssa's Guide to Die

Woebin posted:

I just hope Hercule Poirot and the Jedi Academy is still canon after the Disney acquisition.

quote:

"Hercules Poirot and the secrets of The Jedi Academy, by Agatha Christie."

It was a sunny morning over Belgium and Hercules Poirot was waiting to pick me up at the airport. I didn't have much to wear, just my jeans and a tee shirt.

The first thing I noticed about Poirot is that he had his own chauffeur, a tall man named Gautier.

"I think he wants me to drive him to the airport, just to let him know I'm there."

"I'm not allowed to take any money from you," Poirot said. "It's only for the chauffeur."

"Oh, I understand," I said, giving him my address. "I'll make sure he gets here on time."

"He's waiting outside, but he can't come in."

I didn't know whether to be excited or puzzled because I did not expect Poirot to have a so handsome chauffeur with him. It was rather odd, I must admit. I have always been attracted to people with a good figure. I like women with big breasts. They are beautiful and full of life. It was only when I realised that Mr. Levene, Poirot's chauffeur, was also a tall man that I got a little turned on. I had been walking behind a tall man and suddenly I realised that I could never hope to get past him as long as he was holding that small body up. He was so handsome that I could not help thinking how much I wanted to grab hold of it. My eyes were wide as I watched him walking on the road. As I looked at him more and more, I became more and more aroused.

Finally, I had to get up and clear the situation. "Hercules Poirot" I said. "I absolutely do not want to enter a threesome with you and your chauffeur" I added.

Hercules didn't budge. He took off his helmet and put it on the table. "You can sit down now" he said with a wink.

My car was in neutral, and I had just finished my breakfast, so I couldn't actually move my car. I was going to get out and walk home, but the two of them just kept standing there.

I tried talking to them, but they just stood there. The driver was clearly quite pleased with himself, so I decided to just sit in the car and watch, not really listening. After about ten minutes, the car started moving, and I could make out the couple.

"That's it!" I shouted. "We'll just walk home and forget all about this."

"Yeah, right." I was a little irritated with myself for going out of my way to do something nice, but I guess it was kind of my thing.

It was pretty dark when we reached the end of the alley. I saw the light from the cityscape in front of us and began to feel comfortable. I had never been to Seattle, but from what I had heard, the place was pretty cool. Even if they were just rumors. I'd definitely go to Seattle if I were ever invited to go there.

[...]

At home Poirot told me "Mademoiselle I really hope I did not offend you with my manners" and then went to the kitchen to prepare me a cup of tea. It tasted fine, not bad really but the taste was really strong, not like the tea that was served by all the English people when we arrived in Paris, with just a hint of sugar. Poirot had a way of using the tea to make it more delicate and I was able to appreciate it more.

The first day, we visited Poirot's home, the home of his father, a man who had died a few years before. He was always working at the house, but he never stopped being a family man and loved Poirot so much. His daughter was there, he was always very kind to her and she always did a wonderful job in the house. The only thing that bothered him was his inability to read a newspaper, because he couldn't stand the sound of it. But he'd get used to it.

While drinking my tea Poirot asked me "So Mademoiselle, your father wrote me a letter about the Jedi Academy being in danger of being closed"

There was a silent embarassing moment until I answered

"That letter must be from you"

Poirot turned to look at me, the light in his eyes made it look as if he was crying. I could see tears of sadness well up in his eyes as he put his hand over his mouth. "Please, sir I'm not a man of secrets"

Poirot was right, he wasn't a man of secrets.

Poirot's expression turned serious, "Then tell me, are you a Jedi Master?"

I looked at Poirot, and then back to Poirot.

"No" I replied, "I am not a Jedi Master"

Poirot looked like he was about to cry himself "What a shame... a man as skilled as you could have been my apprentice..."

"I'm not a Jedi" I said, "My name is Luke Skywalker, and I am an agent of the New Republic."

"Oh, really?" Poirot asked, "You're in the Republic."

I smiled "Yes, and you're here to get my lightsaber!"

I held up the lightsaber "It's my personal one, I won it at a contest on the planet Naboo a few years ago. I was able to find it, in a shrine on the planet."

Poirot nodded "So you're a Jedi? And you want to use it?"

"I am!" I replied "I have sworn to protect the innocent and I will do that, no matter who it is in front of me. That is why I chose to join you, my friend."

"I'm not sure I can trust you. We don't know much about each other, and this is the first time we've talked in years."

"There's a lot of things I don't know about you, too," I said, "But I think that's one of them.

If you'll give me a moment, I'd like to tell you more.

It's not your life I'm protecting, it's yours. I can't let the Force keep you trapped.

This world will soon be free from the Dark Lords that rule it,

and that is my goal.

You and me are part of that.

Chapter 2

Darth Sidious felt a shiver running down his spine. The force spake to him. His nemesis Hercules Poirot must have gotten a new apprentice, a gorgeous french lady called Lili. But what was that voice? Was it that of a man? Or was it of a woman? Sidious thought about it for a second, then said "no, I'm certain it is of a man. I am certain of it. My very essence is a man's essence. My entire body is a man's body." This revelation made his blood freeze in his veins. His face twisted into a hideous grin. "It will be a very long time before you and I see the light of the moon again."

"This isn't happening, Sidious!" he exclaimed. "This isn't real! It's not even possible! And you know what this means! It means we're going to meet again."

"This is a wonderful time of year for

"It will be a very long time before you and I see the light of the moon again."

"This isn't happening, Sidious!" he exclaimed. "This isn't real! It's not even possible! And you know what this means! It means we're going to meet again."

"This is a wonderful time of year for the Sith," Yoda replied. "The old ways will come back into fashion." He pointed his head toward the eastern horizon and said, "And when the time is right, the new ways will also return."

A moment of silence fell upon the room.

"There was a time when we Sith would have been wise to give into the darkness," said Sidious. "But there's a much greater darkness to come. The old ways have been replaced by a new way of thinking."

Yoda, who had been waiting to see what Sidious was going to say next, finally spoke. "We Sith have

Yoda, who had been waiting to see what Sidious was going to say next, finally spoke. "We Sith have always been a race of warriors, even before the creation of the Sith Empire," he said. "This is what we have always done. The path to power is always the same – the warrior becomes the Sith Lord." The Jedi Master did not sound the slightest bit discouraged. "Now that you have found your new Master, the battle is over, Sidious," he said. "You have defeated the Jedi Order, and you are now the new Master of the Sith."

The Battle of Endor

After the death of Darth Sidious at the Battle of Endor, Darth Vader's apprentice, Luke Skywalker, was captured by Darth Vader on Endor. Vader killed Skywalker in the duel that followed. His body was returned to the Emperor's throne room to be destroyed.

Appearances

"You have defeated the Jedi Order, and you are now the new Master of the Sith."

The problem for Darth Sidious was that he knew that a Jedi academy was still operative in San Francisco on Earth, in the year 1898. And that they had, in fact, survived the destruction of the Jedi Temple.

Now, the Order's master would have to go to San Francisco for training, and also to find out who was responsible for the Temple's destruction.

"Darth Sidious," Anakin Skywalker intones in the first movie.

"Sidious, Master," Obi-Wan Kenobi says in the second.

But who were those mysterious words, "Sidious, Master"?

"A Sith Lord," according to the official Star Wars Encyclopedia, written by Michael A. Stackpole. "One who has become the master of a Dark Force nexus and is skilled in Sith magic."

What the heck is a Dark Force nexus? "A nexus is a space or plane where two or more galaxies are bound together by the pull of dark matter, with gravity acting on each galaxy. This dark matter is so dense that it forms a gravitational force." A dark-matter nexus is a type of gravitational attraction between two or more galaxies in which gravity acts on the dark matter. The two galaxies and the dark matter are so tightly bound together that gravity acts like a net, pulling on the dark matter and preventing galaxies from migrating apart. Dark-matter-dominated nebulae are thought to be formed from dark-matter-induced supernovae.

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I'm still waiting for some of the other explanations for the dark matter to be answered. There's a possibility that the dark matter could be made of dark energy, but at this point, it's difficult to imagine what would be necessary to produce such a vast amount of the stuff.

In other words, my "evidence" that dark energy exists is actually evidence that dark energy is not the reason for the universe's accelerating expansion. As an aside, if dark energy is not the source of the expansion, then what is the "driver" of the universe's acceleration?

I have to say I find this very hard to believe. It seems like there is something else out there with all those forces and everything. I do not believe that it is the sun or something else like that. I do not even think it is something that is within our solar system. I think it is a whole other dimension that the rest of the universe is orbiting around, and I think that the only way to reach this other dimension is to be inside of the sun.

So the fact that dark energy doesn't fit with the sun being the driving force of the universe is a little surprising. It is almost like that the way the sun has evolved, that it is evolving into something that is a whole other dimension that we are orbiting

Darth Sidious now was going to confront Lili who just allied with the belgian detective Hercules Poirot.

Sidious: Yes. I have a meeting with the senator in a few days.

Lili: Ahh, I am sooo excited!

Sidious: Not your own business.

Lili: My business is my business.

Sidious: And your business is yours.

Lili: But I am a senator, sir.

Sidious: Now you're being a little pushy about it.

Lili: I've told you this already.

Sidious: I never listen to a thing I say.

Lili: I will not listen to you, sir.

Sidious: I am a senator, Lili Poirot. So you can talk.

Lili: "I am not Poirot, he is Poirot"

Poirot: "I am Poirot, Darth Sidious"

Sidious: "I am Sidious, Darth Sidious"

Poirot: "I am Poirot, Darth Sidious"

Sidious: "I am Sidious, Darth Sidious"

Lili: "I am not Poirot, he is Poirot"

Sidious: "I am Poirot,

Lili: "You are not Poirot, he is Poirot"

Poirot: "I am still Poirot"

In the scene, Lili, who is a very bad liar, says:

Lili: "What I saw was that someone had been dead there for ten years."

Sidious: "Lili, if someone had been dead there for ten years, it is not possible that I should not have been found there for ten years."

It is hard to say whether this is really Poirot or Lili's interpretation of the truth. If Poirot's voice is not coming from the phone then is he not really alive? Maybe Lili is the one who is not Poirot?

Antivehicular posted:

I feel like Glitter Baby Swap Miracle For To Hold is either a YouTube video title or a shovelware phone app. Maybe both.

Rollersnake posted:

Paul Batura: Cop With Truck, Tried to Kill a Great rear end

Rollersnake posted:

Sonic the Hedgehog Is Back, but More Queer

We Might Soon Be Forbidden to Do the Thing

Phlegmish posted:

It was covered by The Who & The Who II & The Who 3

Krankenstyle posted:

*rubbin my clit & balls*

Friend posted:

man this thing sucks

Captain Hygiene posted: