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Our parents finally met but my (23f) parents (54m, 48f) aren't too keen on his mother (47f). Is this a problem and do I tell bf? (26m) We've been together almost 4 years. I've met his parents multiple times and he lives with my parents and I. We've both spent a lot of time with each other's families but our parents didn't meet .. until last night. This was mostly because his family lives in a different city, 2 hours away. We have been pretty nervous since our families are from different cultures (He is white and I am asian). When I first met his mother around 3 years ago, she was quite full on. I was 19 and I experienced a little racism from her sister. She had asked if I was indian, I replied no and with the actual place I was from. She said "oh well, you all smell the same anyway" followed by laughter. BF's mother also laughed. At first I was a little offended and needed to take a breather. I called my dad and explained that I felt uncomfortable going back into the house and he reassured me and told me it was mostly likely a joke and not meant to cause offense. I went back in and bf assured me that his aunty just makes inappropriate jokes and I saw first hand that this was true. She did the same with everyone, making incredibly weird sex jokes. His mother also jokingly insults you. During the dinner, she "jokingly" insulted my dad's actions, although there was a lot of truth behind each of her "jokes." During my entire relationship with bf, any interaction I have had with her has involved a lot of forced laughter. My parents aren't stereotypical asian parents. They're pretty chilled out, really friendly and hardworking people. We have a close and friend-like relationship where they'd advise in support or against any idea or action, as opposed to telling me off. I look up to them a lot, care a lot about their opinion and would do anything for them. So we cleaned the house while bf and his parents were out. My parents went out of their way to make sure they were available to meet them (despite my dad being a very busy man with a demanding job and workload). Dad even got them fancy cupcakes to have which cost quite a bit, along with the other food we provided. We sat around talking and watching movies while waiting for them to arrive. At this point it was 5.30pm and Dad got quite sleepy as he had a long day. When they arrived, Dad politely greeted them at the door, gave them hugs and was quite friendly while Mum made them drinks. They chatted during this dinner, and my parents laughed off bf's mother's uncomfortable "jokes." When they left, I went to the car to say goodbye as they drove off and his mother seemed to have a nice time and was very glad they met. She said my parents were lovely people. When I went back into the house, I asked Mum and Dad what they thought and Dad said "his mother is a bit weird. Now I know what you meant" and Mum and sister said "She was weird. It seems like she was insulting us the whole time" .. although maybe that's bf's mother's humour? Bf keeps asking me what my parents thought of his parents. Should I be honest and tell him? He's quite defensive about his mother. Would that risk his mother finding out? tldr; my parents don't like bf's mother. Should I tell him the truth?
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Nov 24, 2019 22:13
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Our parents finally met but my (23f) parents (54m, 48f) aren't too keen on his mother (47f). Is this a problem and do I tell bf? (26m) white people who like their parents are inherently suspect
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Nov 24, 2019 22:28
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Our parents finally met but my (23f) parents (54m, 48f) aren't too keen on his mother (47f). Is this a problem and do I tell bf? (26m) His parents are racist trash and so is he. The only truth he needs to hear is "I'm breaking up with you because you and your mother are racist garbage for idiots. gently caress you and die." 
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Nov 24, 2019 22:32
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chitoryu12 posted:She says it’s “economics” despite clearly knowing nothing about it. It sounds like she’s just an idiot. Ah she lusts for farmer death
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Nov 24, 2019 22:46
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AITA for showing a girl’s family and people at school her really embarrassing graphic fanfiction because she bullied me? So I used to be friends with this girl, who I’ll call Mary. Me and Mary were very close and we were inseparable. At the beginning of high school, she showed me her account on some fanfiction site. She wrote these very graphic and very sexual stories about her having sex with rockstars she had crushes on. Now I’m talking very graphic, like not something you’d imagine a 16 year old writing. This was a secret between us though. Now winter break came and we had a huge fight, and when school started again she found a new friend group and her and her friends started bullying me. She left notes in my locker saying that I’m a slut, spread rumours about me, told her friends to steal my books and hide them in the bathroom and other places and all these kinds of things. After about 3 months of this I wanted revenge and I realised what I should do. I sent Mary’s account on this site with all her sexual fanfiction to her parents, her friends and some random people at school. Her parents went absolutely insane, the school got involved and had to speak to some counsellor and her people at school bullied her to the point she ended up not coming to school for a while and deleting all social media. Now, AITA for standing up for myself?
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Nov 24, 2019 23:06
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HazCat posted:Everyone so far has skimmed over the part where one of those times he had to shower was because they had sex and she squirted all over him, so yeah it's probably this. Ah, so she's sticking around this biohazard because he lets her piss all over him
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Nov 24, 2019 23:16
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HazCat posted:Everyone so far has skimmed over the part where one of those times he had to shower was because they had sex and she squirted all over him, so yeah it's probably this. It's worse than that - he hasn't yet showered from the squirting, which happened on Thurs. But like you said - he may be a biohazard but apparently he makes her cum harder than a dumptruck soooo I get why she's reluctant to leave.
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Nov 24, 2019 23:28
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for showing a girl’s family and people at school her really embarrassing graphic fanfiction because she bullied me? Burn it all down.
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Nov 24, 2019 23:31
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pentyne posted:It can be assumed that any woman putting up with a guy that smells like trash and causes diseases has self esteem issies A lot of experts suggest just using your hands, since even a clean wash cloth has the effect of shoving bacteria (living on your skin) deep into your now-open pores
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Nov 24, 2019 23:31
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I have honestly just used my hands for years because I'm way too lazy to keep buying/washing stuff that I use to clean myself. I'm no scientist but I've never given a woman a yeast infection and as far as I'm aware no doctor has ever literally said my dick is so toxic I need to wear a condom. What more could a girl want from a man?
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Nov 24, 2019 23:43
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Kitchner posted:I have honestly just used my hands for years because I'm way too lazy to keep buying/washing stuff that I use to clean myself. An orgasm.
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Nov 24, 2019 23:47
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Kitchner posted:I'm no scientist but I've never given a woman a yeast infection Welcome to the not getting laid club buddy.
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Nov 24, 2019 23:52
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for showing a girl’s family and people at school her really embarrassing graphic fanfiction because she bullied me? I think "This person started poo poo with me while I have nuclear launch codes, AITA for using them?" are my favourite genre of story.
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Nov 25, 2019 00:08
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for showing a girl’s family and people at school her really embarrassing graphic fanfiction because she bullied me? Ahhh, I remember high school. And the people who never lost that mentality into their 30s!
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Nov 25, 2019 00:16
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:white people are inherently suspect
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Nov 25, 2019 00:29
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i contest this point, the people who can deal with the bullshit in managing a small business means they're broken in ways that people who can operate in a larger office aren't. A meat popsicle
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Nov 25, 2019 00:36
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for showing a girl’s family and people at school her really embarrassing graphic fanfiction because she bullied me? This is great
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Nov 25, 2019 01:12
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SirSamVimes posted:I think "This person started poo poo with me while I have nuclear launch codes, AITA for using them?" are my favourite genre of story. reddit: by retaliating you have yourself become a bully, which is even worse than her bullying, for some reason
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Nov 25, 2019 01:33
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AITA for limiting visits with the in-laws to once every two months? My husband passed away 17 months ago after a short battle with cancer.Before the diagnosis, my parents-in-law were always lukewarm toward me and never went out of their way. For example, I haven't seen the inside of their home in almost 10 years. My brother-in-law has been inside and confirms they are not hoarders. Their excuse is that their house is too small (1200 sqft) and boring. After the diagnosis, nothing really changed. I swallowed those feelings because I understood they were going through a rough time as parents with such a grim diagnosis. After my husband passed away, my in-laws continued their visits as usual. Meaning, they would visit once per week and I would prepare snacks, a meal and things to munch on. My in-laws would play with the kids for a bit (45 minutes) and then lounge around and play on their phones. It was 'ok' at first to continue the same rituals and habits for the kids. But now I am ready to move on and start thinking of creating new routines. I told my in-laws that I would invite them once every two months (ie, to coincide with holidays or long weekends). In between, they are welcome to invite my kids on outings or to their home but once per week is too much for me. They said that they are "low key" and prefer to come over to my house where they are surrounded by fond memories of my husband. They called me an rear end in a top hat (not exact words) for taking them away for their grandkids when they are at their lowest. AITA for wanting to change things up and have my own space? Edit: I have suggested the following alternatives to coming over once per week: - Now that i have to do both drop offs and pick ups, my kids have to go to both before and after-school programs. I had suggested that they to one drop off or one pick up per week so that my kids don’t have to be somewhere for 9 consecutive hours. they said it would be too much responsibility. - i had suggested that they drop them off at swimming classes or gymnastics. they said it wouldn’t allow for enough one on one time and that meeting in public spaces is undignified - i had also proposed that they come over to their place and came up with a list of activities such as movie night at their home, they have a piano that my girls would love to use. i even proposed dinner where i would drop off a pan of lasagna for them to have basically having one full weekend day per week devoted to the on laws is killing my social life and suffocating me. i don’t know why i have to chaperone every interaction with my kids and engage in mindless chitchat with people who could care less about my wellbeing - the mom of their grandkids. i am exhausted
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Nov 25, 2019 01:33
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Dazerbeams posted:An orgasm. The female orgasm is a myth, like unicorns, the loch ness monster, or normal people on the internet.
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Nov 25, 2019 01:55
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Kitchner posted:The female orgasm is a myth, like unicorns, the loch ness monster, or normal people on the internet. It is when you're involved, yeah
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Nov 25, 2019 01:56
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for showing a girl’s family and people at school her really embarrassing graphic fanfiction because she bullied me? YTA for calling it "standing up for myself." If you're gonna go nuclear for revenge, just call it revenge. Don't pretend like it's self-defense.
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Nov 25, 2019 01:59
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Puppy Time posted:YTA for calling it "standing up for myself." If you're gonna go nuclear for revenge, just call it revenge. Don't pretend like it's self-defense. They say the best defence is a good offence.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:01
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It is standing up for yourself though since the issue is ongoing. Its not like she was bullied 10 years ago, it is happening right now and this instantly stopped it.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:11
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it's weird because you would think that redditors would sympathize with the bully victim, but they love decorum and following the rules wayyyy more
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Nov 25, 2019 02:14
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WIBTA for not covering a tattoo in front of my sister’s kids? I (m28) got a tattoo in a pretty visible location, right on my forearm about a month ago. It’s a traditional style pinup girl and she’s not wearing a top. Comparable tattoo for reference: https://www.tattoodo.com/p/160061 My sister (f30) became very religious and conservative when she started dating her now husband and asked me to cover it up when the family gets together for Christmas because she doesn’t want her kids (m5, f7) seeing it. She knew I was getting the tattoo at the time, she saw it after I got it, she only just brought this up today when we were talking about making holiday plans in a family group message. We didn’t grow up in a particularly uptight or inhibited family and our parents as well as our other brother and his husband think she’s being overbearing about it but mom and dad think I should cover up just to avoid the conflict. My brother and his husband said it’s her choice not to come and they won’t miss her if she doesn’t (to be fair, my brother and her had their own disagreements about being his gay so they’re not on great terms as it is). Also, where we live, it’s hot as hell even in December. I really don’t wear long sleeves ever except to work and that’s a dress code thing, not that I’m covering my tattoos. I told her no and now she’s saying her family won’t be joining any of us for Christmas unless I give in. Would I be the rear end in a top hat for not going along with her demands to maintain the peace? EDIT: Figured I’d include this since someone brought up “sexual fetishes”. The tattoo I have is the same as one my grandpa had. He was pretty covered up for an old man and in discussing the idea of getting one of his tattoos on myself, he cracked up and pointed to the pinup girl on his arm. I didn’t just get a girl with big tiddies because it gets me hard. But hey, everyone says I’m the rear end in a top hat anyway, I see your point. The rest of my family just doesn’t get as bugged out I guess. My brother and his husband also have kids, fwiw. They’ve already seen my tattoo and they liked it. Another point of info, sister lives about an hour and a half from all of us. She distances herself from our family a lot and moved to the town her husband is from. We pretty much only see her on holidays so it’s not like covering up would be something I’d have to do all the time. Covering up to keep the peace it is, my choice has been begrudgingly made.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:17
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for showing a girl’s family and people at school her really embarrassing graphic fanfiction because she bullied me? As expected reddit is falling over themselves saying she's "just as bad as the bully" and "wow u should have told the school" like a bunch of weak willed idiots. The difference between your action and hers is that she did it for the approval of others; you did it for yourself. Her will and self-worth is tied to social approval. You will is self-evident and self-justified. Ignore the baying cowards in their responses for they are attempting to take your victory for themselves. They have no victories of their own and must drag down the great wills of our age to sustain their own negative energies.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:19
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Smirking_Serpent posted:it's weird because you would think that redditors would sympathize with the bully victim, but they love decorum and following the rules wayyyy more
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Nov 25, 2019 02:19
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Serephina posted:I'm not saying they should go out and buy a second car, nor that he uses a car to get to work every day. Public transport is good! Use it. But not getting your license is loving unforgivable. Its a trivially easy test, and it's not hard at all to keep basic driving skills up to snuff by driving once every few weeks. The OP is right, her husband is opting out of basic "adulting" skills, and it's affecting those around him. If they have good public transit, then they certainly have rideshare options. Beyond Uber and Lyft, you've got options like Zipcar where you get car to yourself. I'm in a big city with public transit options that have always given me an easy commute and I have walkable groceries. I supplement that with Lyft for spontaneous travel, and Zipcar for when a buddy calls up and says "you can have this great couch if you come and get it". That couch cost me less than $40 for renting a Zipcar pickup truck for two hours. That was the only time I needed a car that month, and I'd have paid several times as much just for insurance on my own vehicle, and it might not have been one capable of moving a couch. It's for stuff like that that I maintain a current driver's license even though I don't own a vehicle. OP's husband should look into his rideshare options, but having a driver's license for contingencies is just basic adulting.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:20
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Admiral Ray posted:As expected reddit is falling over themselves saying she's "just as bad as the bully" and "wow u should have told the school" like a bunch of weak willed idiots. The difference between your action and hers is that she did it for the approval of others; you did it for yourself. Her will and self-worth is tied to social approval. You will is self-evident and self-justified. Ignore the baying cowards in their responses for they are attempting to take your victory for themselves. They have no victories of their own and must drag down the great wills of our age to sustain their own negative energies. For twelve years you have been asking: Who Is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who sends my enemy’s sexual fan fiction to their parents.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:26
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Goddamn imagine the brass balls on Tat Grandpa to look at his grandson and go "oh yeah, the big tittie girl, thats the one that honors me best" and die knowing that youve trolled the poo poo out of direct family from beyond the grave.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:28
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Smirking_Serpent posted:WIBTA for not covering a tattoo in front of my sister’s kids? Why the gently caress is your family even inviting her dumb rear end to Christmas?
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Nov 25, 2019 02:31
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AITA for not being more sympathetic towards my husband? It all started yesterday when my husband called me while I was at work. He told me he had ordered free door dash & he thinks his food was drugged, I asked why. He responded by saying he was hallucinating. That he went to take the garbage out and when he went to walk down the stairs of the apartment to the front door the whole room was blue (for context everything is white, the stairs, wall, ceiling, everything). And the stairs just continued on forever like they were never-ending and all the lights int he house were unbearably bright. I asked hey didn't you tell me earlier you had been bitten by a spider? He said yea a couple of hours ago. I googled it & the first thing that pops up was a brown recluse which is common in southwest Ohio. I told him the hallucinations were from the spider bite and no one had drugged his food. I looked up some care and told him to follow them and when I got home I would look at it. He didn't have other symptoms like fever or nausea and after an hour or so the hallucinations stopped. Looked okay when I got off I said let's ride it out overnight and see what it looks like in the morning. In the morning he decided he was fine & went to work (Door dash). I texted him around 9 am and said please go to urgent care now instead of waiting until later when I have to work. The toddler & I laid down for a nap & around 12 pm he busts in the house turns on the bedroom light,l turns off the fan & starts saying "babe look at my arm, look at my arm!" At this point, the baby is scared & rudely awoken and begins to cry. I look at it it's swollen and doesn't look great but looks fine. He freaks out and is saying he's going to the doctor some guys mom on facebook almost died blah blah blah. I honestly got angry, I knew he was going to wait last minute even though I asked him 3 hours before to please go to the doctor. He starts calling me an rear end in a top hat shoves his phone in my face & demands I call my job & tell them I will probably be late. He says I am the rear end in a top hat because I had no sympathy towards him, I say he's the rear end in a top hat because he should have gone to the doctor hours before & now I am going to be late for work. What do you think Reddit? TL;DR Husband was bitten by most likey a brown recluse, he hallucinated but didn't go to the doc. The next day I asked him in the morning to please go to the doctor and not wait. Well, he waited & now I am going to be late for work. He says I have no sympathy I say he has no respect.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:32
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Being unable to drive safely and recognising that and declining to drive despite that is not 'failing to adult', and that attitude is why there are so many accidents on the road. I don't have my license. I could have my license - I passed all the tests and got approved for one. Except I was deeply uncomfortable driving, and despite my family and partner trying to pressure me into ignoring my gut feelings, I trusted them and stopped driving and didn't get my license. Surprise! A few years later I discovered that due to a visual impairment, I have zero true depth perception (no stereoscopic vision at all). I have no ability to accurately judge my own position in relation to others, and get by day to day using compensation methods. Putting me behind the wheel of a car would be absolutely negligent, and it's crazy that I was ever okayed for a license. Car culture is insane, and the weird obsession with driving as a benchmark for adulthood is incredibly stupid.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:35
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HazCat posted:Car culture is insane, and the weird obsession with driving as a benchmark for adulthood is incredibly stupid. This right here is the exactly it. I want less cars on the road, and there are plenty of people who do not need a car who drive one. Also, plenty of idiots get a license and should never be allowed to drive a car. I'd rather they not be on the road.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:48
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Driving without depth perception is not just legal but can also be fine. Stereoscopic vision is just one tool we use to perceive depth; you also get tons of other info from things like perspective. You can drive even if you only have one eyeball. My mother has no stereoscopic vision, and in 50 years of driving she's never even had a fender bender. If you feel too nervous driving, don't drive -- that's your call. That's about your nerves, not about what people without stereoscopic vision are capable of. It's not at all negligent or inappropriate to license those people.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:53
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i like nice words
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Admiral Ray posted:Why the gently caress is your family even inviting her dumb rear end to Christmas? Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for not being more sympathetic towards my husband? That said,  at him being more scared by Facebook tales than hallucinations.
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Nov 25, 2019 02:57
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My mom won't stop farting and doesn't acknowledge itquote:To get straight to the point, my mom farts a lot. Like, really loudly, and about half the time also very smelly. Really loudly though. Wet farts. All the loving time. In mid-conversation, whether or not she is the one speaking, doesn't matter if we are all eating or out for our meal, or at a bar as a family, or in the car, out shopping etc etc. The problem is is that at first we would be like "uhm...?" (because she never said excuse me; just pretended like it never happened) but that was about 10 years ago... 10. Long. Years. Over the years, we have gotten more and more aggressive and/or visibly disgusting with our "MOM!!"-ing. She may fart, we say "mom!" She continues to fart, we say "Mom!!!" She continues, we say "MOM!!!!" Most of the time she will ignore us, despite us saying it 3 times during one fart and her continuing to speak... The other times she will laugh at us. And guess what? Her laughing makes the fart come out even more so that makes her laugh again. Myself, my dad and my 2 brothers all hate it. So much. She might whisper "sorry" and giggle and pretend it's no big deal despite the fact we have left the kitchen table, abandoned conversation, and I have literally gotten sick from this. Like, physically thrown up. To be fair, I have gastroparesis and it's when I feel a bit nauseous anyway, but she has encouraged the food to come back up and out of me. Our dog used to walk away from the smell as well, the times her farts smelt bad. Every time a "conversation" lasts longer than the "MOM!!!" that we do, she feels AtTaCkEd?! What can we do to make her acknowledge she just farted and make her excuse herself without us getting angry and disgusted and actually giving out first! She never even says "excuse me." Just "lol sorry haha farts." How can we get her to acknowledge she just did something rude?! 10 loving years. I'm just so sick of this. This was one of those times I almost got sick on the couch (I literally gagged) and she didn't even do her joking/mocking "sorry." I'm so sick of this, by all definitions. Lol mom's family trolling game is on point.
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Nov 25, 2019 03:27
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La Brea Carpet posted:My mom won't stop farting and doesn't acknowledge it I'm sick of your God. drat. Farts!
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Nov 25, 2019 03:45
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for showing a girl’s family and people at school her really embarrassing graphic fanfiction because she bullied me? Let me tell you about glass houses, my dear. It was a terrible thing you did, but that doesn't mean it was wrong.
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Nov 25, 2019 04:01
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