[Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [Book] Name of Goods: The Book of C-SPAM

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

General update:

I have been extremely busy and also recovering from an arm injury and haven't been able to produce much artwork lately. I have a few pieces in the works that I'm trying to make look really nice, so if I have time I have been working on those

The book itself is like 60-70% done, but a lot of the artwork was done on other pieces of paper outside the book. I plan to call it a wrap on this after the next election.

mdemone posted:

at least get a quote for a leather/cloth bound copy with a red book mark. I would pay prob $200 for it and I bet several others would too.

I have become familiar with the fundamentals of bookbinding and printing press operation. I would love to do something like this. There are several practical problems so far.

1. Printing:

I have a several hundred year old printing press and a few letters for it (funded by goons), but I am still missing various other materials that are needed to start operating the press. Namely, I need a galley to hold the letters in place, as well as metal spacers to place around them which would hold them in place.

The galley is the frame that holds everything in place, and as you can see there are also blank spacers. There are a few other things which are normally part of the process as well, but they aren't strictly essential and I can MacGyver my way around those. But I need a galley and spacers; it doesn't work without them, I tried.

These things aren't impossible to find, but they are rare. They pop up online around here in Europe once every few months but the real ones which were used by printers are made of lead, so the shipping costs suck rear end and I wasn't able to afford them the few times I saw them for sale. I don't plan to operate a full-time long-term medieval printing operation so I would settle for hardwood spacers, but where the hell do you find those?

So, if I had those things I could already be printing. Imagine trump tweets printed like this:

I am extremely close to making it a reality! But yet also not. If anyone has any advice to offer about this, please let me know. At some point I will try to befriend the local printer's guild and get some spacers from them but I haven't found the time yet.

2. Bookbinding:

A friend of mine was into bookbinding and taught me the basics a few years ago, so I have observed it, though never tried. I think I could do it, and I want to try.

So, say I get the printing press up and running and I can crank out 50 copies of a little pamphlet of a couple pages consisting of C-SPAM propaganda printed in the style of the 18th century. Great! What am I going to do with them? Keep in mind the terms and conditions of the OP:

twoday posted:

Publication:
There are a bunch of kickstarter-esque services that facilitate the printing of books on a small scale and I'll deal with that at the prudent juncture. I am not doing this for money. I will publish photos of every page of the book in this thread, because this will be a document created from C-SPAM, and I believe all C-SPAM users have a right to read it. If you have some money to spend and want to buy a printed copy, that's great, and helps us get into the Library of Congress, but I am not going to withhold any part of this book from the forums, in case there is someone who wants to read it but can't afford a printed copy.

Whatever I make for the book, I will publish online, and include in any printed version of the book. But if I have a printing press up and running and make 50 copies of something using the printing press, I will want to use them for something. What's the point of printing things if you make 50 copies by hand and only distribute one single digital scan of them?

I would be happy to include the proper printed copies in fancy versions of the book of c-spam, if people want that. In that case I would take copies of the normal version, rip them out of their bindings, and make new hand-bound versions of the book that also include the hand-pressed pages. And they would also be bound in leather or something like that and have the trump face print embossed into the front cover. I don't know if it was you or someone else, but in one of the previous trump threads someone offered me $200 to make a fancy hand-bound version of the book, and I was thinking about that, and would gladly do it. It seems like a lot, but I am probably underestimating the amount of work involved in hand-binding a book. I want to do it in any case, because it has long been my dream to make a fancy book by hand from scratch. So I will make several fancy copies, even if it's just one for you and one for myself, because you are giving me a reason to pursue that dream. It would be great if I could get one of these fancy ones into the Library of Congress. But I will also make normal versions of the book available for sale, and also release all the material in the book online, so that no content will be held back from anyone, and the only people who buy a physical copy of this book are the ones who want to.

Anyway, let me know if anyone reading this has any ideas about how I can get this press up and running, how to jimmy rig spacers, etc

_{_{_{DISCLAIMER: THIS POST DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE

The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained within this post are for informational purposes only. No material in this post is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this post or the replies to this post.}}}

twoday has issued a correction as of 12:37 on Oct 31, 2019

# ? Oct 31, 2019 02:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 04:51

Scrub-Niggurath: Nov 27, 2007

e: wrong thread

# ? Oct 31, 2019 04:20

Agean90: Jun 28, 2008

I have no clue how printing press spacers work, but if they're just small blocks of hardwood try finding a nearby hackerspace/communal workshop that has a saw, buy some bigger pieces of hardwood and cut them yourself.

# ? Oct 31, 2019 13:35

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

they have to be really small specific sizes, but I guess I can try, I don't trust my woodworking skills enough to pull it off

speaking of woodworking, I was digging around and found this photo of an uncompleted artwork

I don't know where the original is so I can't change it anymore, so I guess this is a finished piece now

# ? Nov 2, 2019 04:27

HUGE PUBES A PLUS: Apr 30, 2005

https://twitter.com/PublicDomainRev/status/1190623856664416257

# ? Nov 2, 2019 14:38

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I like how in all of them these skeletons are intruding in everyone's lives, sneaking up on them while they are asleep and banging drums and stabbing them in the neck with a dagger, except for "The Old Man" where they are just hanging out and going for a walk, playing some tunes on a zither

# ? Nov 2, 2019 17:23

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

twoday posted:

I like how in all of them these skeletons are intruding in everyone's lives, sneaking up on them while they are asleep and banging drums and stabbing them in the neck with a dagger, except for "The Old Man" where they are just hanging out and going for a walk, playing some tunes on a zither

It's the scary skeleton version of Majima Everywhere

# ? Nov 2, 2019 17:40

SardonicTyrant: Feb 26, 2016; BTICH IM A NEWT
熱くなれ夢みた明日を
必ずいつかつかまえる
走り出せ振り向くことなく
&

Why's that skeleton grabbing that guy's dick

# ? Nov 2, 2019 19:35

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

twoday posted:

I like how in all of them these skeletons are intruding in everyone's lives, sneaking up on them while they are asleep and banging drums and stabbing them in the neck with a dagger, except for "The Old Man" where they are just hanging out and going for a walk, playing some tunes on a zither

he's leading the old man into an open grave my dude

# ? Nov 2, 2019 19:43

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

yeah great job sa forums lovin all these double posts

# ? Nov 2, 2019 19:44

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

Adam and Eve are Ok with getting help from skeleton bro?

# ? Nov 2, 2019 22:16

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

I think they have been kicked out of the Garden of Eden and so are now mortals, so they just have to deal with the looming figure of death hanging around

# ? Nov 2, 2019 22:55

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

twoday posted:

I think they have been kicked out of the Garden of Eden and so are now mortals, so they just have to deal with the looming figure of death hanging around

But at least he's being helpful in that one, in the others skeleton majima is stabbing knights and nobles.

# ? Nov 3, 2019 02:28

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

so death serves the working class?

# ? Nov 3, 2019 02:53

Flavius Aetass: Mar 30, 2011

part of God's curse of mortality was making the ground difficult to till

13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, �What is this you have done?�

The woman said, �The serpent deceived me, and I ate.�

14 So the Lord God said to the serpent, �Because you have done this,

�Cursed are you above all livestock
and all wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.
15 And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring[a] and hers;
he will crush[b] your head,
and you will strike his heel.�

16 To the woman he said,

�I will make your pains in childbearing very severe;
with painful labor you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you.�

17 To Adam he said, �Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, �You must not eat from it,�

�Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
19 By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground,
since from it you were taken;
for dust you are
and to dust you will return.�

# ? Nov 3, 2019 03:10

Buck Wildman: Mar 30, 2010; I am Metango, Galactic Governor

there are worse afterlives to believe in than "keep going as an rear end in a top hat skeleton who plays a xylophone and messes with nobles and the elderly"

# ? Nov 4, 2019 02:57

shovelbum: Oct 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Buck Wildman posted:

there are worse afterlives to believe in than "keep going as an rear end in a top hat skeleton who plays a xylophone and messes with nobles and the elderly"

There are worse lives even

# ? Nov 4, 2019 04:45

Carth Dookie: Jan 28, 2013

Buck Wildman posted:

there are worse afterlives to believe in than "keep going as an rear end in a top hat skeleton who plays a xylophone and messes with nobles and the elderly"

gently caress if I die young I hope that's my afterlife so I can haunt boomers.

# ? Nov 4, 2019 08:19

Nebakenezzer: Sep 13, 2005; The Mote in God's Eye

Not sure if this helps but somebody has written a weird wiki article on the "mythological concept of the devourer"

# ? Nov 8, 2019 16:28

smarxist: Jul 26, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

posting this cause twoday would probablylike it:

https://twitter.com/DAIROCKETTO/status/1193063916047237120

# ? Nov 10, 2019 09:05

Uranium: Sep 11, 2001; Through constant decay
Uranium creates
the radioactive ray.

Restoration Fops are killing Duty to Godde and the Crowne

# ? Nov 10, 2019 20:33

Buck Wildman: Mar 30, 2010; I am Metango, Galactic Governor

smarxist posted:

posting this cause twoday would probablylike it:

https://twitter.com/DAIROCKETTO/status/1193063916047237120

helleth yea

I want that goblet goddam

Buck Wildman has issued a correction as of 18:29 on Nov 11, 2019

# ? Nov 11, 2019 16:50

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Yeah those goblets are all the rage now, I heard

PER-T EM HRU!

# ? Nov 16, 2019 04:24

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Nebakenezzer posted:

Not sure if this helps but somebody has written a weird wiki article on the "mythological concept of the devourer"

This is cool, will read

Sorry everyone, I have been busy, but also making things

# ? Nov 16, 2019 04:25

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

# ? Nov 21, 2019 02:39

Duscat: Jan 4, 2009; Fun Shoe

twoday posted:

it needs to be preserved, definitely worth a month or two of a monk's time

# ? Nov 21, 2019 03:47

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Yes, I am posting it to copy later

Sorry for not posting lately

# ? Nov 21, 2019 03:55

Agean90: Jun 28, 2008

https://mobile.twitter.com/qntm/status/1197191772054675458

# ? Nov 21, 2019 04:11

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Middel English is �e beste English

# ? Nov 21, 2019 04:20

HUGE PUBES A PLUS: Apr 30, 2005

twoday posted:

If anything needs to be in the book of cspam, it's this.

# ? Nov 22, 2019 12:21

HUGE PUBES A PLUS: Apr 30, 2005

But not necessarily this

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:34

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

# ? Nov 28, 2019 00:16

Spergin Morlock: Aug 8, 2009

twoday posted:

lol nice

# ? Nov 28, 2019 00:20

2DCAT: Jun 25, 2015; pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss; Gravy Boat 2k

twoday posted:

# ? Nov 28, 2019 00:23

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

Since I am a weirdo from the internet I guess they wanted to meet in the most public place possible, and so I had to come to grand central Station to get it, but I got it!!!

REMEMBER SAILOR!

# ? Nov 28, 2019 00:26

Duscat: Jan 4, 2009; Fun Shoe

today, i am thankful for sailor, and the memories we share of sailor

# ? Nov 28, 2019 00:31

2DCAT: Jun 25, 2015; pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss; Gravy Boat 2k