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Smackdillion posted:I just asked a question. What about that situation makes you think a surprise is the correct way to handle it? It's still a world where if a perceived homosexual man is too overly friendly a bunch of straight guys will beat the living poo poo out of him for "flirting" and 45% of society thinks there is nothing wrong with that. "Asking questions" when it comes to the safety and security of LGBTQ+ people is a bad faith argument because hetero normative people have overall not had the same level of threats and safety when it comes to romance and relationships. This isn't disclosing you have kids or an ex, its a fundamental issue that people have been killed over and face chronic abuse in their life as a result of it, sometimes a lifetime of physical and emotional abuse. Is there anything in your life you could disclose to put you at that kind of risk? Simplifying it down to a "surprise" sounds like you think trans people are actively trying to trick people into being with them. chitoryu12 posted:It’s unfortunate but I do have to agree. “Let people say it when they want to!” is a nice sentiment and relevant when deciding to come out to your family, but people have been actively endangered by getting intimate with someone before springing it on them. Being open about it before you ever meet in person means the kind of person who flips out and beats you after finding out that you have a penis never gets that close to you in the first place. "Oh nbd just disclose your gender identity whenever someone asks. If needed, carry your gender reassignment papers in your wallet or purse so any concerned citizen can insist to see them" Also, which "people" are the ones being actively endangered exactly? pentyne has a new favorite as of 00:26 on Nov 29, 2019 |
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Nov 29, 2019 00:18
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If you are an understanding and accepting person who doesn’t see people who aren’t cis-gendered heteronormative as aberrations needing to be stomped out, it can be difficult to see how someone who is lgbtx might not be so trusting. Like, imagine everyone in the world as individuals looking out one window each at a trans person. You might be smiling warmly but you can’t see how half the people in other windows are scowling or shouting slurs.
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Nov 29, 2019 00:34
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Let me know your gender when I'm on my death bed after 40 years of blissful marriage.
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Nov 29, 2019 00:36
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Maybe the third date can be a gender reveal party.
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Nov 29, 2019 00:38
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"Well, we burned down an old growth forest, but at least I know what your gender conforms to what you were assigned at birth, so... evens out, I 'spose?"
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Nov 29, 2019 00:39
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Smackdillion posted:SURPRISE! I'm really a _______! And that's the most acceptable way? Fill in the blank, please. What are trans women REALLY?
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Nov 29, 2019 00:40
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https://twitter.com/Bowsnonk/status/1200190373772947456?s=19
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Nov 29, 2019 00:40
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Fuckin Trots man
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Nov 29, 2019 00:55
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Besesoth posted:Fill in the blank, please. What are trans women REALLY? Chocoholic
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Nov 29, 2019 00:56
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You're a gender bigot if you don't suck the dick that you didn't expect to be there. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Nov 29, 2019 00:58
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The Trans Dating Experience, ime, is (and i can't speak for trans guys):
Besesoth posted:Fill in the blank, please. What are trans women REALLY?
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Nov 29, 2019 00:58
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Jurgan posted:Fellow cis man, and I agree with most of this. I’d also point out that there are a lot of things you don’t reveal on a first date. Would I be expected to tell my partner I’m on anti-anxiety medicine or what my credit score is or... I don’t know, any one of a hundred different pieces of biographical information that fall under the heading of “personal?” Why is the status of one’s genitalia different? I mean, I can see good reasons not to reveal it too quickly, but I can’t think of a compelling reason why you have to tell your partner right away. Yeah, straight cis dude here, I'm with someone who recently told me about some very serious stuff that happened to them quite early in their life- it's something that would very, very seriously gently caress them up emotionally if they revealed it and I didn't handle it well. It was draining for them to explain it and difficult for me to hear about it. The trust needed to be there, and it needed to be solid, because talking about difficult stuff hurts and if you can't be sure the other person can handle it it's safer and easier to not talk about it at all. And in this case the only risk was me not handling the new information well. Trans folks straight up get murdered if they come out to the wrong person. Sandwich Anarchist posted:You're a gender bigot if you don't suck the dick that you didn't expect to be there. This gross comment kind of underscores another point- this isn't about genitalia. Genitalia have wild variations between humans, irrespective of gender or sex. Expecting to know what's in your partner's pants after date 1 is creepy, and demanding to know is invasive, no matter what genders or sexes the folks involved are. Do you think that people are gonna get to the point of actively loving without talking about it first? If so, why is that something you think happens? Besesoth posted:Fill in the blank, please. What are trans women REALLY? Yeah this gon be fun
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Nov 29, 2019 01:03
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Yeah, I feel like if transpeople are waiting to disclose, they're only going to disclose if they feel like you aren't going to overreact, and if they do think you are, then they're likely to just not continue going on dates with you so you don't have to worry about whether their identity matches with your image of them if you're a bigot.
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Nov 29, 2019 01:08
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I feel like I've had a rite of passage: I witnessed my first "OK, Boomer" meltdown that I caused. I guess this is the right place for it? A friend of a friend on social media interrupted his Thanksgiving this afternoon to inform me that Trump's extortion of a foreign country was nothing new; "all presidents have done it" (this was an ongoing discussion that he had pretty much been losing). I answered him "OK, Boomer" in addition to pointing out how misinformed he was. My friend chimed in hours later thundering about how "insulting" I had been to a family friend and giving me a chance to apologize for my grave insult of "OK, Boomer". I just responded with a laughing emoji and "OK, Boomer" and was dropped from her friends list like a hot potato. It was bizarre and hilarious how angry she got - not because I said that her friend was either "lying or misinformed", but because I said "OK, Boomer". It's a dead giveaway that the people most deserving of that phrase are the ones who are so triggered by it.
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Nov 29, 2019 01:11
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Nov 29, 2019 01:12
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I'm sorely disappointed in the lack of emoji in this comic
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Nov 29, 2019 01:16
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legalize killing cis people for being inferior imo
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Nov 29, 2019 01:17
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F_Shit_Fitzgerald posted:I feel like I've had a rite of passage: I witnessed my first "OK, Boomer" meltdown that I caused. I guess this is the right place for it? It's unreal to me how insulted they get by OK boomer, it's so drat mild
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Nov 29, 2019 01:18
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Eschenique posted:Someone should make a bastardized twitter app where you read with one account and then post with another. So many people I follow I can never respond to because they're quick blockers (like pope hat) You can do this on the official twitter app
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Nov 29, 2019 01:31
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zoux posted:It's unreal to me how insulted they get by OK boomer, it's so drat mild I've never seen anything like it. I thought about asking her what was so offensive or pointing out that respect is earned and not given, but I figured the reaction alone proved my point. F_Shit_Fitzgerald has a new favorite as of 03:16 on Nov 29, 2019 |
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Nov 29, 2019 01:32
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This is less a reaction to relationships and more the window pane fell on my dick and locked.
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Nov 29, 2019 01:33
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Aesop Poprock posted:I don’t think they’re necessarily saying “the cis posters in this thread want to murder trans people” if that’s what you read that as I'm not certain it was intended, but its definitely the most straightforward reading of the post.
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Nov 29, 2019 01:53
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One More Fat Nerd posted:I'm not certain it was intended, but its definitely the most straightforward reading of the post. The revealing thing is people's reaction to being told that they had misread the post.
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Nov 29, 2019 03:19
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Ok boomer is just short hand in their mind for "shut the gently caress up you old know nothing gently caress" and that's like.... Disrespectful.
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Nov 29, 2019 03:36
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For a generation that bangs on about "You have to EARN respect" they sure do expect to have it loving handed to them.
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Nov 29, 2019 03:40
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So it's the cis persons fault for their reaction (if it's negative) when you inform them that despite all outward appearances, you aren't what you appear to be. And that deception from the jump, in your view, is the most appropriate way forward. Got it. Totally reasonable. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Nov 29, 2019 03:43
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to give you this shitty icon and give Lowtax his cyborg spine parts
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Smackdillion posted:So it's the cis persons fault for their reaction (if it's negative) when you inform them that despite all outward appearances, you aren't what you appear to be. And that deception from the jump, in your view, is the most appropriate way forward. Oh suck my girl-dick you willfully stupid gently caress.
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Nov 29, 2019 03:44
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Take that low effort concern trolling garbage back to reddit or whatever other cesspit you crawled out of.
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Nov 29, 2019 03:46
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Smackdillion posted:So it's the cis persons fault for their reaction (if it's negative) when you inform them that despite all outward appearances, you aren't what you appear to be. And that deception from the jump, in your view, is the most appropriate way forward. To be clear, the trans-panic defense in post form is my entry, this isn't an endorsement
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Nov 29, 2019 03:47
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What is it we don't appear to be, huh fucker?
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Nov 29, 2019 03:48
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Smackdillion posted:So it's the cis persons fault for their reaction (if it's negative) when you inform them that despite all outward appearances, you aren't what you appear to be. And that deception from the jump, in your view, is the most appropriate way forward. Dude, just take the L. It's not about "deception." I imagine most trans people would be happy to say "I'm trans and proud of it" if they knew it was safe (though I'm sure a trans woman would prefer to simply be thought of as a woman). "Despite all outward appearances, you aren't what you appear to be?" That's only true if you think a trans woman* only "appears to be" a woman. Would you consider it "deception" if a woman you dated didn't tell you she only dyes her hair and isn't a real blond? Now imagine there were news stories about women getting murdered because a man saw they had dark roots, and try and think about whether a woman would volunteer that information willingly. Your language of "deception," whether you mean it or not, is bigot code. It's the same as talking about Jews being greedy or black people being violent. You are using terminology whose primary function is to excuse violence against a vulnerable group of people. Anyway, enjoy your probabtion! *Who are the subset of trans people most vulnerable, but this applies to trans men as well. Jurgan has a new favorite as of 04:16 on Nov 29, 2019 |
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Nov 29, 2019 03:53
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Besides the ugly transphobia, the idea that a trans person has to out themselves on first contact betrays that you only care to date someone if you're eventually getting sex. It's only "deception" because you can't simply enjoy someone's company because you like them as a person, to you it's work spent towards getting laid. But it's definitely the transphobia. You never ask anyone another deeply personal question about their body on the first date. Why would this be any different?
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Nov 29, 2019 03:59
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Jurgan, it's trans women and trans men, not a combined term. Trans women are women who happen to be trans, not this other category that's like a woman. I don't think you're doing it intentionally, but that language is demeaning and undermines your point in turn.
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Nov 29, 2019 04:02
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Smackdillion posted:So it's the cis persons fault for their reaction (if it's negative) when you inform them that despite all outward appearances, you aren't what you appear to be. And that deception from the jump, in your view, is the most appropriate way forward. Source your quotes.
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Nov 29, 2019 04:06
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Smackdillion posted:So it's the cis persons fault for their reaction (if it's negative) when you inform them that despite all outward appearances, you aren't what you appear to be. And that deception from the jump, in your view, is the most appropriate way forward. Me at you huffing your own farts https://twitter.com/OrenosukinaGIF/status/1200099083630850053?s=19
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Nov 29, 2019 04:11
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Smackdillion posted:So it's the cis persons fault for their reaction (if it's negative) when you inform them that despite all outward appearances, you aren't what you appear to be. And that deception from the jump, in your view, is the most appropriate way forward. Won't someone think of the bigots  Today I'm thankful for posters that out themselves as poo poo so they can be discarded.
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Nov 29, 2019 04:12
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Smackdillion posted:So it's the cis persons fault for their reaction (if it's negative) when you inform them that despite all outward appearances, you aren't what you appear to be. And that deception from the jump, in your view, is the most appropriate way forward. Ahh that 2001 reg date.🙈 I'm sorry sir, but you are from a different time on SA. Transphobia is dead here now, but we're all so very gay.
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Nov 29, 2019 04:14
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Arivia posted:Jurgan, it's trans women and trans men, not a combined term. Trans women are women who happen to be trans, not this other category that's like a woman. I don't think you're doing it intentionally, but that language is demeaning and undermines your point in turn. Okay, I’ll fix that. It’s confusing to me because it started as a prefix and now it’s a separate word, but I’ll go edit.
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Nov 29, 2019 04:15
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Smackdillion posted:So it's the cis persons fault for their reaction (if it's negative) when you inform them that despite all outward appearances, you aren't what you appear to be. And that deception from the jump, in your view, is the most appropriate way forward. Impressive. That's about the fastest I've seen someone go from "help me understand" to "woo, I'm an rear end in a top hat". Good job! That wasn't the message sent by anyone here. It also isn't the obligation of anyone here to educate your dumbass if they don't feel like engaging. Use loving Google--you have the entire goddamn internet. Folks trying to "help others understand" are too often met by this sort of disingenuous horseshit. fisting by many posted:...the idea that a trans person has to out themselves on first contact betrays that you only care to date someone if you're eventually getting sex. It's only "deception" because you can't simply enjoy someone's company because you like them as a person, to you it's work spent towards getting laid. Also that. Shallow as gently caress. Edit: MageMage posted:Ahh that 2001 reg date.🙈 I'm sorry sir, but you are from a different time on SA. Transphobia is dead here now, but we're all so very gay. Not all 2001s...
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Nov 29, 2019 04:15
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Hi, it looks like you're attempting to be my [ acquaintance | friend | significant other ] (circle one)! Lest you startle my soft brain with new information, please tell me everything about you before you have any idea of how I may react!
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Nov 29, 2019 04:19
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