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Danaru posted:Saying that not wanting your partner to make intimate contact with someone else is a heteronormative boundary is gross as gently caress and lots of LGBTQ people would consider it a boundary Just piss off with your “gross” and your  s
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Nov 30, 2019 00:45
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Man, I was *wondering* when the people defending Handjob Fiance were gonna log in. Never fear, lads, the white knight brigade is here
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Nov 30, 2019 00:45
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CharlestheHammer posted:The cousin does confirm it happened and does seem to understand exactly what it means so I find it unlikely There's very little evidence ether way. I was disagreeing with your positive affirmation that the girlfriend was expressing guilt or whatever because that's not in the story as-written DamnitGannet posted:What about the post where the OP sent pictures of her feet to a pervert for some quick cash? Some posters were freaking out about how that was cheating, though personally I would encourage my girlfriend to milk that poo poo as long as she could. For real those were some hot spicy takes. I really don't think that this thread is representative of what's "normal" in most contexts, much less in relationships lol Brother Entropy posted:we can't judge the feet lady one way or the other until we know what steam game she got with the money It was Disco Elysium which would have justified sending pretty much anything
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Nov 30, 2019 00:45
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Such Fun posted:I did not gloss over it. I wrote that in this case it was clearly cheating. so where is the boundary in your book? is getting a hanjo fair game, or is it only OK to give but not receive? does it matter whether you/they come?
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Nov 30, 2019 00:45
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Man, I was *wondering* when the people defending Handjob Fiance were gonna log in. Never fear, lads, the white knight brigade is here You're badly misusing that term fyi
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Nov 30, 2019 00:47
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Such Fun posted:Not shitposting, I am sincerely surprised that my perspective on boundaries in a relationship is so alien to some people that it baffles them when you touch a random dick, is it usually intentional or accidental? this may have some bearing on the discussion
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Nov 30, 2019 00:47
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QuarkJets posted:You're badly misusing that term fyi
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Nov 30, 2019 00:51
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TIL goons obsessed with advice columns don't read enough Savage Love
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Nov 30, 2019 00:53
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Straight White Shark posted:so where is the boundary in your book? is getting a hanjo fair game, or is it only OK to give but not receive? does it matter whether you/they come? I’ve said it three times already, but once more I guess: boundaries are what is agreed upon in a relationship. There is no inherent boundary. I myself would never limit my partner on any form of dick-touching they would desire. Sagebrush posted:when you touch a random dick, is it usually intentional or accidental? this may have some bearing on the discussion Any and all dicks are touched deliberately, and exquisitely.
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Nov 30, 2019 00:54
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Such Fun posted:I’ve said it three times already, but once more I guess: boundaries are what is agreed upon in a relationship. There is no inherent boundary. I myself would never limit my partner on any form of dick-touching they would desire. So then why did you bring it up in the context of a story where it very obviously broke a boundary in the relationship, and how is this very normal boundary "heteronormative" in your eyes
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Nov 30, 2019 01:00
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I've been with my partner for years now and the only rule is that we both need to jack off as many strange dicks as possible.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:01
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QuarkJets posted:
The story said a 13 dollar game, so it couldn’t have been DE. 
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Nov 30, 2019 01:02
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Danaru posted:So then why did you bring it up in the context of a story where it very obviously broke a boundary in the relationship, and how is this very normal boundary "heteronormative" in your eyes I brought it up in the broader discussion that was already going on about what cheating is. Danaru posted:very normal boundary Might wanna think this bit over a bit.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:07
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There is nothing hetero about "don't sex touch other people who aren't us when we are in a relationship". The only one drawing strict normative lines here is the couple palookas claiming the entire LGB+ universe is on their frequency.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:07
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"You wanted to see me chief?" "Internal Affairs said you got jealous your boyfriend jerked off a stranger." "Yeah, what of it?" "Damnit you're a loose cannon. You broke the first rule of Gay Squad. Hand in your badge, you're off the force."
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Nov 30, 2019 01:15
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Urban Dictionary disagrees! Well then you're badly misinterpreting what's going on in this thread
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Nov 30, 2019 01:16
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Such Fun posted:I’ve said it three times already, but once more I guess: boundaries are what is agreed upon in a relationship. There is no inherent boundary. I myself would never limit my partner on any form of dick-touching they would desire. There are certainly inherent boundaries in monogamy. Not every relationship has to be monogamous, and if your open relationship works for you that's fine, but it's more than a bit silly to act incredulous that other people actually practice monogamy.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:18
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QuarkJets posted:Well then you're badly misinterpreting what's going on in this thread Various peoples' posting histories disagree!
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Nov 30, 2019 01:19
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Such Fun posted:Might wanna think this bit over a bit. Like seriously if it's not a boundary for you that's great, but acting like it's not a common boundary for people of all sexualities is weird as hell, and saying monogamy is heteronormative is literally a stereotype used against LGBTQ people all the time.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:21
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Grape posted:There is nothing hetero about "don't sex touch other people who aren't us when we are in a relationship". The only one drawing strict normative lines here is the couple palookas claiming the entire LGB+ universe is on their frequency. Counter argument: there is absolutely something hetero about having a light dick fondling as a relationship breaker. I mean, why should it be? It is clearly a patriarchal norm. And when your relationship is outside of the patriarchy, as gay relationships mostly are, you are free of this norm. And what would this norm really add to a relationship? What is the value of not-touching random dicks between two people who share a deeper emotional bond?
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Nov 30, 2019 01:22
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Danaru posted:Like seriously if it's not a boundary for you that's great, but acting like it's not a common boundary for people of all sexualities is weird as hell, and saying monogamy is heteronormative is literally a stereotype used against LGBTQ people all the time. Imo monogamy is only heteronormative if presented as a case of a partner of one gender owning the other, and honestly that doesn't tend to result in actual... monogamy...
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Nov 30, 2019 01:23
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lmao at "well actually, monogamy is just another form of oppression at the hands of the patriarchy,"
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Nov 30, 2019 01:25
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Straight White Shark posted:There are certainly inherent boundaries in monogamy. Not every relationship has to be monogamous, and if your open relationship works for you that's fine, but it's more than a bit silly to act incredulous that other people actually practice monogamy. Such Fun doesn't seem to be in an open relationship though People can be in committed relationships to each other while also agreeing that some sexual interactions are okay while others aren't, you don't have to form a polycule or whatever just because you think it's okay for your husband to grope some boobs from time to time. Malachite_Dragon posted:Various peoples' posting histories disagree! You might be functionally illiterate lol QuarkJets fucked around with this message at 01:28 on Nov 30, 2019 |
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Nov 30, 2019 01:25
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QuarkJets posted:Such Fun doesn't seem to be in an open relationship though Edit: like there's definitely relationships that are emotionally exclusive and with certain sexual contact allowed outside the relationship. Would that not be a form of open relationship? Is there a more preferred term for that?
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Nov 30, 2019 01:27
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Anyone who wouldn't jerk off a stripper is a homophobe!
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Nov 30, 2019 01:27
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QuarkJets posted:Such Fun doesn't seem to be in an open relationship though You can have still define boundaries inside an open relationship. "Hand sex is OK but not penetrative sex" seems a bit arbitrary to me, but it's his relationship and he can do what he wants.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:28
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Ah, okay, so you're just poo poo-stirring, gotcha.QuarkJets posted:You might be functionally illiterate lol  she's still not gonna give you a handy no matter how much you defend her.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:29
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Straight White Shark posted:You can have still define boundaries inside an open relationship. "Hand sex is OK but not penetrative sex" seems a bit arbitrary to me, but it's his relationship and he can do what he wants. You can define boundaries either way but you seem to be suggesting that monogamy-defining boundaries are written in stone like the 10 commandments or something. Clearly different people are going to have different ideas about what those boundaries are. Like, is merely touching someone's genitals "hand sex"? I don't think it is. Or as was brought up earlier, is sending a picture of your feet to someone a non-monogamous act like some people in this thread seemed to conclude that it was? I don't think that should be either, but those other posters clearly do. QuarkJets posted:Well then you're badly misinterpreting what's going on in this thread Case in point: Malachite_Dragon posted:she's still not gonna give you a handy no matter how much you defend her.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:32
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QuarkJets posted:You can define boundaries either way but you seem to be suggesting that monogamy-defining boundaries are written in stone like the 10 commandments or something. Clearly different people are going to have different ideas about what those boundaries are. Like, is merely touching someone's genitals "hand sex"? I don't think it is. Or as was brought up earlier, is sending a picture of your feet to someone a non-monogamous act like some people in this thread seemed to conclude that it was? I don't think that should be either, but those other posters clearly do. I'd be really curious what your S/O thinks about this because you have some pretty wild ideas.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:34
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Ah, okay, so you're just poo poo-stirring, gotcha. How do you know? She jacked off a stripper and all he did was take off his clothes!
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Nov 30, 2019 01:35
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Y’all ever wonder what it’s like being gaslit by a cheating spouse lmao
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Nov 30, 2019 01:35
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Small brain: Monogamy is good Big brain: Monogamy is good and so is non-monogamy Galaxy brain: Monogamy is homophobic Universe brain: Having a closed relationship at all is patriarchal oppression
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Nov 30, 2019 01:35
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Straight White Shark posted:There are certainly inherent boundaries in monogamy. Not every relationship has to be monogamous, and if your open relationship works for you that's fine, but it's more than a bit silly to act incredulous that other people actually practice monogamy. I totally get that these norms exist in society, and that is actually what a norm means; people follow them to fit in society. I certainly don’t judge anybody for doing so. But you don’t have to, you can have different relationship and still be faithfull within the boundaries of that relationship. Danaru posted:Like seriously if it's not a boundary for you that's great, but acting like it's not a common boundary for people of all sexualities is weird as hell, and saying monogamy is heteronormative is literally a stereotype used against LGBTQ people all the time. Who are the kind of people that would use that stereotype against me? Why should I care what they think? Why should I try to conform to their norms? Why should I agree that their stereotype is harmful?
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Nov 30, 2019 01:38
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Id like to thank whoever bought such fine their lovely new text
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Nov 30, 2019 01:39
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MarcusSA posted:I'd be really curious what your S/O thinks about this because you have some pretty wild ideas. We have a common understanding of what monogamous means, thank you for your interest (???). Touching a stripper's dong with 30 other people doing the same doesn't break that trust That said I have no interest in stroking stripper dong, I don't even want to know where that thing's been
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Nov 30, 2019 01:40
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QuarkJets posted:You can define boundaries either way but you seem to be suggesting that monogamy-defining boundaries are written in stone like the 10 commandments or something. Clearly different people are going to have different ideas about what those boundaries are. Like, is merely touching someone's genitals "hand sex"? I don't think it is. Or as was brought up earlier, is sending a picture of your feet to someone a non-monogamous act like some people in this thread seemed to conclude that it was? I don't think that should be either, but those other posters clearly do. You're conflating two different things. You seem to largely be making the argument that the woman in the story was probably just touching a dick for laffs and not seriously engaging in a sexual act, Some Fun is arguing that it doesn't matter how far she might have gone because the idea that orgasms outside of penetrative sex count as sex is heteronormative (???) It's true that the boundaries are pretty fuzzy but "giving/receiving an orgasm to/from someone else is cheating/non-monogamous behavior" has a broad consensus, and by extension "doing things designed to give/receive an orgasm is cheating/non-monogamous behavior even if you don't go all the way" is also pretty uncontroversial.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:42
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Such Fun posted:Who are the kind of people that would use that stereotype against me? Google "history of gay marriage" and check out some of the arguments against it because whoops "gays cant be monogamous  " has been a big chud talking point for years
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Nov 30, 2019 01:43
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This weird touching a mans dong is great because it makes it sound like it’s almost accidental. Like she didn’t give him a handjob she just like tripped and it broke her fall
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Nov 30, 2019 01:44
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Okay but did he actually cum?
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Nov 30, 2019 01:44
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DamnitGannet posted:Okay but did he actually cum?
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Nov 30, 2019 01:52
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