/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Lucrece posted:

[FL] Can I make family member sell their house to me if it was part of the estate?

delicious

uh oh snipe here have some content:

Uploaded some porn to my cloud backup... found questionable content tried to delete it. Seems to be 'locked' don't know what to do.

quote:

I just wanted to start by saying I made a stupid mistake and I feel like I will pay for my actions. I don't really know what to do and I am writing this just so I can figure out how to deal with my family/friends/fiance. I feel sick, stupid and dumb and at this point figure I will just have to face consequences.

I have a popular could based drive, and been using it for a bit. I recently thought it might be a cool idea to back up some porn to it so I can have it on the go. I am an adult and at the time didn't think it would be a big deal. I don't really keep porn on my PC anymore and all I had was this old flashdrive i found from college. I used to browse image-boards and just save random pictures. I went on ahead and started uploading the pictures to the drive.

On second review of the files I realized I might have made a super bad mistake. The drive was over 10 years old at this point and I didn't feel comfortable with what I saw. I deleted the pictures and formatted the drive. I saw some had uploaded and just deleted those as well.

I went about my day and before going to bed I reviewed what files I had online. My heart sank, around 5 images could not be deleted and are in the cloud. I can rename them and move them, but I cannot delete them. I think they had been flagged and my account might have been reported.

The major issue I had was some of the girls looked like they are on the edge of 18 or under. I don't really know what to do at this point and I am pretty sure my account has been flagged.

I feel like all is lost right now, and I am just a super dumb guy and made a super dumb mistake. I already reviewed what I could be charged with in my state and it is possible 3-10 years in jail and 10,000 fine.

This is my fault and I should have never had those pictures in the first place, but don't know what I can do to protect myself and my family. Allot of people depend on me and I just feel like I let them all down if I have to go to jail... I know you guys can't fix this situation but if you have any advice I would appreciate it.

Thanks

TL:DR - I think I uploaded underage content and can't delete it and think that is on purpose. I am basically waiting for the FBI at this point :\.

compounding his initial mistake by immediately publishing what he did on the internet. a genius.

Metis of the Chat Thread fucked around with this message at 12:59 on Nov 30, 2019

# ? Nov 30, 2019 12:55

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 13:15

Lt. Danger: Dec 22, 2006; jolly good chaps we sure showed the hun

construction BF said he would pay for expenses. it does depend a lot on exactly how much work she's supposed to do at cost vs how much work he does for her for free

even so, if they're living together you would think they'd be at a stage where he doesn't need to pay her extra because she already "has" that money as his SO

# ? Nov 30, 2019 13:05

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

This is a bummer wtf one

quote:

my ex boyfriends mom is trying to get grandparents rights to my child. I don't think the advice we got was sound. (NY)

u/2sophiajoy2 � 5h
I'm going to try to prevent this from being a million pages long.

I am a teenage (17&9 months) mother to a baby girl born end of September. She was born 15 weeks early but is doing great and is expected to be released from the hospital in as little as two weeks time.

The father of the baby broke up with me and cut ties with me shortly before she was born. He never visited the NICU, has never called to see how she was doing, and has only ever used her as a pawn to further a pro life agenda by posting a photo of her claiming i wanted to abort her and that she was born because of a failed abortion.

His parents seemed supportive of me at the outset. I let them come visit her whenever they wanted and they really seemed to be on my side but that ended up where it could not have been further from the truth.

I had a limited list of people who were allowed to visit baby when i am not there. It was my parents (mom & stepfather), her paternal grandparents, my twin, and my current boyfriend (also my best friend--he has been the one who supported us).

At some point i guess what happened was that my ex's mother happened to arrive at the hospital to visit when my boyfriend was there and she got into a verbal altercation with him. The nurses made the decision to remove her from the visit list because she initiated the issue. (Imagine being a 40something woman and starting a fight with a teenage boy?)

When i was filled in on the situation i agreed with the nurses assessment because i don't want any trouble and i reached out to her and said, in effect: I'm really sorry you were upset that BF was there with Baby. I totally understand, but i had to agree with the nurses decision to remove you from the list. However, i would be okay with you coming to visit when i am there.

At this point, she went nuclear and made it out like i was preventing her from seeing her grandchild and making me out as the bad guy and a person who didn't take care of the child, insinuating that she was one of the only people who visited her.

It's been very rare that i haven't been with baby and I've always made sure someone was there with her during visiting hours. If i had an exam to write, was sick and not able to go, or just needed time alone to pump more breast milk, these are examples, otherwise I've been there with her.

She decided that she was going to petition for court ordered custody under a law in our state that says grandparents can when the parents have interfered with their ability to have a relationship. She intends as it seems to bring baby home from the hospital with her.

To bolster her claim, she somehow tracked down my biological father. He is still my legal father for all intents and purposes but has not seen me since i was six years old. She had him sign an affidavit stating that he believed that to the best of his knowledge i was not able to provide the necessities of life to a child.

My parents (mom&stepdad) and myself sought out legal counsel, but the lawyer we saw suggested that i turn legal rights over to my parents to "cover my rear end" until she drops the case, which seems like a) weird, unsound advice and b) more headaches down the line.

So i am turning to you LA:

1) is my hunch that this lawyer gave us bad advice accurate? 2) what can i do, as a mother, to protect my child? 3) anything else you might find helpful.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 13:35

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Sorry that's a miniseries, not a post.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 13:51

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

Probably get a police report with the nurses stating an out of control 40 year old almost assaulted a teenager in the presence of the Baby and see how far that suit goes.

Then file a restraining order on their asses.

Imagine feeling that entitled to a child when your own loving child just nopes out of their lives.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 14:18

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

https://twitter.com/mumsnet_madness/status/1200727877601419265

# ? Nov 30, 2019 14:21

welcome to hell: Jun 9, 2006

Just broke up with gf of 1 year over an old dead plant?

quote:

tl:dr tl;dr in short we had a laugh and joke about an old plant that she forgot at my place which turned into an arguement and a complete break up?

We have been dating for a year. Definately had our ups and downs, but last night was weirdly too petty.

Was on the phone to her for a while, somehow we got onto the subject of this plant that she left at my house a long time ago and has never looked after.

I said how I didnt even think it was still here, and if it was it had been months so was probably dead. She was telling me, I thought as a joke, to go check on it. Went on for a while and I checked on it and it was alive barely so I come back downstairs and then she says now go back up and water it. I said when I go to bed I will. It continues from here, yes I know super stupid.

She went on to jokingly say she expected me to look after it, and I was jokingly saying back why would I look after it I never wanted a plant and its not like it was given to me as a gift it was left here and I didnt even know it was.

We had a solid good laugh together about the absurdity of it, and I thought she wasnt even being serious. She was genuinely cracking up with me for like 15 minutes. Then the conversation goes on and I say can we stop talking about this plant please but she continueing to say I should look after it for her permanently until she actually gets angry and says that her dead stepdad gave her that plant? Now im luck what the gently caress.

I said straight away sorry I didnt know, and that I would water it and give it back to her the next time I saw her. She was still angry. I said you cant be mad at me for something I didnt know and I told her that she left it here and never took care of it in the first place.

She then stopped on that point and went on to say that I am always a selfish person though. The fact I didnt want to just keep the plant alive because its still a living thing reminds her of how selfish I can be as a person. At this point you can tell in her voice she is very angry and in a rage, and I try to say can we talk when we are calm and it just makes things worse and worse. In the end she said something like I dont think this will work with you being like this and I said if thats how you feel then fine, and she hung up, told me to cancel the plans i had already paid for with her for the following day, and hasnt contacted me since.

Mind is blown here at how petty this is

# ? Nov 30, 2019 14:30

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

sephiRoth IRA posted:

That�s a solid dick move on her part.

Theres gonna be two answers to this, and it's going to be people that think shes a monster and people that have worked for family. I do something similar to her, and I will never ever work for family again. They're bad customers, don't understand cost, think employees needing to get paid is nbd, and all the time you're eating all your profit because of genetics.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 14:38

Virigoth: Apr 28, 2009; Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......

thatguy posted:

Theres gonna be two answers to this, and it's going to be people that think shes a monster and people that have worked for family. I do something similar to her, and I will never ever work for family again. They're bad customers, don't understand cost, think employees needing to get paid is nbd, and all the time you're eating all your profit because of genetics.

It�s like loaning family money and expecting to get paid back. Just say it�s a loving gift.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 15:07

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Virigoth posted:

It�s like loaning family money and expecting to get paid back. Just say it�s a loving gift.

More like giving a stripper a handie and expecting one back

# ? Nov 30, 2019 15:18

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

thatguy posted:

Theres gonna be two answers to this, and it's going to be people that think shes a monster and people that have worked for family. I do something similar to her, and I will never ever work for family again. They're bad customers, don't understand cost, think employees needing to get paid is nbd, and all the time you're eating all your profit because of genetics.

You missed the biggest part that sucks though - schedule. Lots of family members refuse to understand that you are not my only customer and in fact might not even be at the top of my priority list when someone else is paying my full rate. If you want professional urgency and immediate priority, pay my professional rates; you want the discounted friendly rate, it'll take longer than normal because I'm working you into the schedule around people keeping the roof over my head.

Honestly, in my experience, the only way to successfully do any form of paid professional work for family is to treat it almost the same as if you got a cold-call from a random John Doe off the street - establish the cost and scope in writing up front, clearly defining deadlines and timeframe, clarifying what it'll cost if they decide to ask for 'just a small change' midway through, etc. You'll absolutely get pushback of "but we're family" and "c'mon, it's family, you trust us", but you need to hold your ground...and if they really refuse to engage in the normal process, you have to have the stones to take a short relationship hit now of refusing to work for them in exchange for avoiding the much bigger relationship hit later when things go to poo poo.

Virigoth posted:

It’s like loaning family money and expecting to get paid back. Just say it’s a loving gift.

Even in this case, I'd argue that you want to go through the expectations-setting process a little - maybe not to the full extreme, but at least a little. You'd think people would be totally reasonable about "you realize you're not paying me for this, right?"...but a stunningly large percentage of people are *not* reasonable.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 15:23

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

AITA for hacking my fiance's phone based off of sleep talking?

quote:

Weird title, I know.

Me (19M) and my fiance (19F) have been together for what seems like forever. However, something was off about my fiance right after I popped the question. She just felt off. I'd lived with her for a solid year by now, and knew how she was when no one was around. This was completely different. Never looking up from her phone, always on tumblr, or snapchat. I thought nothing of it, until we went to bed one night, and I couldnt get to sleep.

Typically, I fell asleep before her, and this night was different, because I heard something come from her that I was baffled by. She was a sleep talker. With what she said, it was honestly more like a sleep confessional. Apologizing for sending nudes to this guy, etc. I asked her about the topics she mentioned and every time I brought one up she got fidgety, shut down and ignored me. I continued this, staying up almost all night, every night, for 2 solid weeks listening, writing down her words, word for word, before talking to her one last time. As usual, she avoided the talk altogether and I was at a loss. What was I supposed to do with all of this.

However, what tipped me over the edge, was the final night. Right after my last confrontation, my fiance said something to herself in her sleep as I laid down. "I need to delete the history from (friend)s snap" I know, it's so stupid and could have meant anything, but it fueled an upsetting sense inside me I've never felt before, so I did what I did back in highschool coding class and did a few things to wiggle my way into her tumblr, snapchat, Instagram, discord groups, facebook, etc. I found the sexting, almost nudes (actual nudes were probably never saved and she still claims to have never sent any), and a discord group of bisexual polyamorous females who were influencing her to become poly (she's already bisexual) by telling her she needed to be more sexual and open with her body by sending nudes to friends and trying to hook up with more guys and girls. This ended up in me finding her discord planning to not take me with her on her trip to Germany, where she would likely start this chain of polyamorous relationships without my knowledge.

This upset me greatly. I took screenshots, I grabbed evidence, and made sure if anything was deleted I'd get it back. I was enraged and I wasnt having any of it. I went to her Facebook messager while she was at work, when I knew she'd have the time to respond but couldnt get emotional in front of me and try to avoid it, and went off. We talked it over, and we settled on the fact that she was just depressed and being manipulated by the girls in her discord. She said she'd never do it again and begged me to calm down and stay.

She hasn't acted remotely the same since, and whenever I hear her sleep talk, it's usually just complaints about food or family members, or wondering about the newest Mandalorian episode. She is the same shes always been before the issues, and it's like it never happened.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 15:31

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :suicide:

# ? Nov 30, 2019 15:38

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

With or without prejudice? Husband installed spy-software on my computer, went to prostitutes, got an STD and passed it to me, hid all our assets, emptied our accounts, cancelled my insurance. I need help.

quote:

I met my husband about five years ago. We started dating and got married after three years (in a country far away). I gave up my path in life to support his (he had a career going, and I was only studying).

His job required us to move around, and for us to be together, I had to take a position where I had no experience. Thus low paying, but it enabled us to be together, and him to focus on his career.

Since the day we met, we have been very clear that we have an open relationship. Meaning that we are allowed to have other relationships apart from the one we are in together.

Fast forward to the beginning of this year. My husband and I talked, and he had suddenly decided that he no longer want our relationship to be open. I told him that I did not want to change this. He then presented me with a "relationship contract" where he had defined exactly how any ex-marital relationships should be. How long they could last, precisely what they could include and how they should be terminated.

I told him that I did not want to change our initial agreement and that the whole purpose of being free was not to have to define everything. He took a few days to think of it and told me that he agrees with me and that his "relationship contract" was a mistake and that we should stick to our initial agreement.

This is where I thought we were on the same page. He became sweeter and more romantic than ever, flowers, poems, love notes, honeymoons etc. Although in reality, he was simply using all of that as tactics to put his real plan in order: "To destroy me" (yes, in his own words) and he started planning his exit from our marriage.

• He installed a spy-software on my computer and recorded everything I did and typed.

• He emptied our joint account.

• He emptied our safe deposit box

• We had bought some gems as an investment, he told me he had a buyer for these and took them, but just gave them to his sister.

• He hired prostitutes, got an STD and passed it to me

• He emptied all his US accounts and moved all assets abroad.

About six months ago I got served, he had filed for divorce, without even talking to me about it. He filed for divorce in a state where neither of us is a resident. He had however lied on the documents stating his P.O. box as his residential address. He also has this same P.O. box address as his residential address on his driver's license from that State.

I hired a lawyer who helped me respond to his petition and asked my husband for financial disclosure. Suddenly my husband got scared and filed a voluntary dismissal of the original petition on the grounds of "lack of jurisdiction", he did not want to disclose his financial activities. I believe that he has set up a bunch of companies to avoid paying taxes in the US (he is a green card holder).

I had to pay my lawyer, who's retainer is non-refundable, for nothing. I only hired him to respond to my husband's original petition for the dissolution of the marriage.

Now I have no money, will not even get divorced form this person, and I created an unnecessary debt to myself by hiring a lawyer who had their hands tied up because the case got dismissed. So, of course, I decided to take it to court to get my attorney fees back from my spouse.

I was ready to go to court. But my spouse offered to pay half of the money I paid my lawyer in exchange for me to "voluntarily dismiss my counter-petition (as the respondent) WITH prejudice". I declined the offer, knowing very well my chances to get the money back from a trial are very slim.

I still find it odd. Why would he voluntarily dismiss his petition for divorce WITHOUT prejudice while asking me to voluntary dismiss my counter-petition WITH prejudice?

Against my lawyer's strong advice to accept this in exchange for 50% of the fees I paid my attorney, I declined the offer. A couple of hours later, I received notice that my spouse would pay the full amount, so long as I agree NOT to file for divorce in New York (He has a lease on an apartment, and I have been living in it for a year, he has not been home since June 2019).

Once I knew we were getting a divorce, I started looking for attorneys here in NYC, and in the country where we got married. But then I was surprised when I got a petition from a different State.

I am perplexed now. Does anyone have any idea why my spouse is so eager to have me to file for divorce in NY? Besides the fact that I have no jurisdiction to get divorced in any other State, and the country where we did get married will not permit divorce until we fulfil the required separation year apart.

I currently live off savings, and I'm running out of money. My husband has a five-figure monthly salary.

Reddit, can you help me? I need to understand why he is so scared that I will file for divorce in NY. Does anyone here know a good lawyer, or can you direct me to one? I don't even know how to afford a lawyer at this point, all my money went to the first lawyer I hired, and the retainer was non-refundable. I'm not a citizen, and I cannot take a bank loan here. All suggestions are welcome. Maybe there is someone here who is a lawyer and has some helpful information.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 15:39

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

My guess is his hiding money and being malicious will totally bite him in the rear end in NY, while the other state was a No Fault state or something.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 15:43

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Clitch posted:

Dragging something up from before that geological event of a derail, but I gotta disagree hard with this.

These aren't dirt-poor sharecroppers cowering in fear when that devil's rectangle what come from her pocket makes a janglin'. These are dishwater dull, middle-class whites in Suburbia in 2019, and it's never been easier to expand their horizons. There's no billy-club swinging beat cop patrolling Whispering Willow Trail and stopping every Brad and Chelsea from stepping foot into the real world. If they're monolingual, it's because they chose not to learn a second language. If they haven't learned anything about the world past the IKEA by the highway, it's because they chose not to try. If they're lovely to someone for being learned or cultured, they grew those sour grapes by their own free will. Dreaming Bough Estates is not their prison, and the HOA is not their jailor. They're just a willfully ignorant little lump of beige in their off-the-rack floorplan comfort zone, and tough poo poo if their son went off to college and brought home a reminder that the closest they've ever come to exploring other cultures is searching "big rear end Latinas" on Pornhub after a few Michelob Ultras.

Just calling them bigots is what's lazy.

So then we agree. I called them bigots because that's what they are because of how they choose to be ignorant. Bigotry comes in degrees, and microaggressions are a thing.

And your post proves my point about suburbs/small towns vs urban life: it's easier than ever to embrace multiculturalism, so it's one's own fault for not doing it no matter where you live... but it's also possible to do it no matter where you live.

But thanks for the meltdown.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 15:43

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

And that�s why joint accounts are a bad idea.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 15:56

SHY NUDIST GRRL: Feb 15, 2011; Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.

therobit posted:

As an adult I have pretty obvious ADD, but when I tried to get a diagnosis I was told by the doctor that I obviously didn't have it because I was able to get decent grades in college and hold a steady job.

I loving hate that poo poo. I got the run around for a decade before I got my autism diagnosis

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:00

FilthyImp: Sep 30, 2002; Anime Deviant

Railing Kill posted:

But thanks for the meltdown.

Weren't you the one whinging on how mean the stereotypical cosmopolitan girlfriend was being to the bigots, because she threw their small-town hick ways in their face? :what:

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:03

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

My [31F] boyfriend [30M] staunchly believes we did an art class together a long time ago. We never did and it is tearing our relationship apart, as he thinks i am lying, and i don't know what to think.
This is kind of weird but i am at the end of my rope with this. Me and my SO Tom recently started dating again, currently we have been together for 6 months now. We were a couple for 3 years ago during university.

We were close back then, but i ended up getting an amazing job offer from a big tech company and was required to relocate to SV, Tom unfortunately was being forced to look after his two younger siblings, after his mother passed away. We ended up separating when we realized it wasn't going to work. Last year i moved back home, after i went through a painful failed engagement, and a combination of burnout and my dad not being in good health. We ended up getting back in touch, and one thing lead to another.

At the start of this month i moved in with Tom after his final younger brother moved out to go to University. Stuff was great, and i was happy and he seemed happy. Then something weird happened, and i don't know what to make of it.

Two weeks ago we were talking about redecorating and renovating (fixing two decades of wear and tear). Tom offhandedly mentioned that he still had "paintings we did together in art class". This really confused me, i have no memory of doing this art class, but he remembers it like it was yesterday.

This lead to kind of a weird argument, where i denied this ever happening, but he would not drop it. Eventually i just kind of pretended to vaguely remember, just to get out of this. He didn't believe me, and he spent 4 hours digging through facebook, his computer, and even dug out his old cellphone. He found nothing. He seemed hurt and confused, and i begged him to lets just forget about it.

However this started eating at me all of last week, my ex-fiance would do this. He would lie and give different accounts of events, or claim things happened that i didn't remember. However they were always minor and meant to hurt (and almost always bullshit). This was just weird.

I ended up spending hours combing through my records, and found nothing. He said we went and bought our supplies at a specific place, i have no bank records of that. I have no records of this ever happening, and i even asked a few people i used to be friends with who never remembered this. It bothered me a a lot.

On Wednesday we went to Tom's Storage unit to fetch some stuff, and it immediately turned into him hunting for the art. He swears he put it there, he even remembers him putting it in there so vividly. But there was nothing, there was some art but from his family but nothing matched what i apparently painted (apparently i painted some sort of cute pink donut from some gum commercial?) or what he painted. He even went on to vividly tell me how we would go and grab food before heading over to the college after a certain class we had together, but i don't remember this at all.

I was annoyed, really annoyed. We had a big fight driving home, where Tom complained that i just don't remember, i was at the telling him i think he is wrong. It was awkward that night and i broke down and told him he was wrong, and this isn't going to work out if this continues.

Today has been really akward, and i feel this stupid little thing of no significance is going to rip this relationship apart. Tom seems dead set in his way, and i was honestly considering that this is a sign of mental illness, but this is the first time i have ever seen him act like this, and it bothers me so much.

What am i supposed to do? I feel even if i just finally say "oh yes i remember now it is just going to lead to a huge argument".

TL;DR My boyfriend thinks we took an art class and is making a mountain out of a mole hill about this, and i dont know how to handle this.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:16

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

FilthyImp posted:

My guess is his hiding money and being malicious will totally bite him in the rear end in NY, while the other state was a No Fault state or something.

Correct. He's attempting to jurisdiction-shop for the state where the law is more in his favor.

The PO Box was his half-assed attempt to show residency in Other State until she/her lawyer called him out on it and filed a counter-suit to get the case moved to NY court because he wasn't actually a resident.

This is the play he's making now:
1.) Get his own divorce suit in dropped without prejudice aka "can easily refile later". She dismisses her counter-suit with prejudice aka "much more difficult to refile later".
2.) He actually does establish residency in Other State, renting an apartment, driver's license, utility bills, library card, local bank, etc, etc. The normal poo poo you'd do if you were really living somewhere.
3.) Six months later, refile the divorce lawsuit in Other State where the laws help him out.
4.) It's now extremely tough for her to try get this new lawsuit moved to NY where the laws favor her because he's got established residency (#2) and oh yeah, her jurisdiction-shopping lawsuit was previously dismissed with prejudice (#1).

MagusofStars fucked around with this message at 16:35 on Nov 30, 2019

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:32

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

MagusofStars posted:

Correct. He's attempting to jurisdiction-shop for the state where the law is more in his favor.

The PO Box was his half-assed attempt to show residency in Other State until she/her lawyer called him out on it and filed a counter-suit to get the case moved to NY court because he wasn't actually a resident.

This is the play he's making now:
1.) Get his own divorce suit in dropped without prejudice aka "can easily refile later". She dismisses her counter-suit with prejudice aka "much more difficult to refile later".
2.) He actually does establish residency in Other State, renting an apartment, driver's license, utility bills, library card, local bank, etc, etc. The normal poo poo you'd do if you were really living somewhere.
3.) Six months later, refile the divorce lawsuit in Other State where the laws help him out.
4.) It's now extremely tough for her to try get this new lawsuit moved to NY where the laws favor her because he's got established residency (#2) and oh yeah, her jurisdiction-shopping lawsuit was previously dismissed with prejudice (#1).

She should explain this to a lawyer, seems like kind of a slam dunk.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:39

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

edit: hmm nevermind, misread a detail

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:44

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Biplane posted:

She should explain this to a lawyer, seems like kind of a slam dunk.

Between this and his blatant asset hiding he is going to get shredded by a real lawyer and I pray to gay black lady Jesus that she has access to the resources to get one.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:46

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Power Khan posted:

My [31F] boyfriend [30M] staunchly believes we did an art class together a long time ago. We never did and it is tearing our relationship apart, as he thinks i am lying, and i don't know what to think.

I ended up spending hours combing through my records, and found nothing. He said we went and bought our supplies at a specific place, i have no bank records of that. I have no records of this ever happening, and i even asked a few people i used to be friends with who never remembered this. It bothered me a a lot.

Just look at your transcript jfc

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:46

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

tactlessbastard posted:

Just look at your transcript jfc

lol that he's going to blow up his relationship because he mixed up on which exes he did which activity with

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:48

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Biplane posted:

She should explain this to a lawyer, seems like kind of a slam dunk.

Yeah, you'd think so. Definitely seems odd her lawyer suggested she accept the offer. Like, you have actual proof that he's trying to dodge the court's authority, falsely claimed a PO Box as his residence, plus the asset hiding, potential tax evasion, etc...seems pretty straightforward.

The best I can figure is that her lawyer sized her up as "too broke to win this case against a guy with a five-figure monthly income" and that's why he's suggesting she just fold and take the money now even if she's got a winning hand.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:53

artsy fartsy: May 10, 2014; You'll be ahead instead of behind. Hello!

Haha, Mr. Fartsy and I had a similar conversation last week. We went to a restaurant that I'm sure I've never been to and he's sure we've been to together. Google timeline backs me up but he also remembered a weird detail about the bathrooms that he probably wouldn't know unless he'd been there before.

Anyway we're getting a divorce.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 16:53

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

artsy fartsy posted:

Haha, Mr. Fartsy and I had a similar conversation last week. We went to a restaurant that I'm sure I've never been to and he's sure we've been to together. Google timeline backs me up but he also remembered a weird detail about the bathrooms that he probably wouldn't know unless he'd been there before.

Anyway we're getting a divorce.

Maybe he just went to that bathroom on a different occasion without you. Dude probably just needed some high-quality financial advice.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 17:00

M.C. McMic: Nov 8, 2008; The Weight room
Is your friend

Lucrece posted:

[FL] Can I make family member sell their house to me if it was part of the estate?

This is absolutely fantastic.

"I tried to low-ball a relative because I'm a complete shithead. They came back at me with a completely reasonable (generous) counter offer, and I tried to play Mr. BusinessMan by turning them down and waiting them out. Then they told me to gently caress off and sold the house for much more. Reddit HELP!!"

You can tell this rear end in a top hat fancies himself a savvy businessman but is actually an entitled moron. I love it.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 17:11

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

thatguy posted:

Theres gonna be two answers to this, and it's going to be people that think shes a monster and people that have worked for family. I do something similar to her, and I will never ever work for family again. They're bad customers, don't understand cost, think employees needing to get paid is nbd, and all the time you're eating all your profit because of genetics.

I get that. I do. I have family ask me for medical advice all the time. The issue is I generally take these stories at face value. We have posters who straight-up make up facts to fit the narrative they want the story to have. This guy claims to have not just sent emails but also been a laborer at her worksite. He clearly contributed effort and didn�t expect anything back (with the exception of shared support). He didn�t want free work, he was hoping for a discount because they were essentially using shared resources in his eyes because he saw them as a long term item.

He understood the fact that she needs money to continue her business. He even states that he�d very likely come out ahead if they started billing each other at full rate. I think if he tried to do this sort of thing often, he�d be a huge dick.

Obviously all of this is predicated on whether you trust the guy. Honestly, I�m probably wrong I�m believing him, but at face value then yes, she was a dick and likely blew her relationship up because of this.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 17:29

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

sephiRoth IRA posted:

I get that. I do. I have family ask me for medical advice all the time. The issue is I generally take these stories at face value. We have posters who straight-up make up facts to fit the narrative they want the story to have. This guy claims to have not just sent emails but also been a laborer at her worksite. He clearly contributed effort and didn�t expect anything back (with the exception of shared support). He didn�t want free work, he was hoping for a discount because they were essentially using shared resources in his eyes because he saw them as a long term item.

He understood the fact that she needs money to continue her business. He even states that he�d very likely come out ahead if they started billing each other at full rate. I think if he tried to do this sort of thing often, he�d be a huge dick.

Obviously all of this is predicated on whether you trust the guy. Honestly, I�m probably wrong I�m believing him, but at face value then yes, she was a dick and likely blew her relationship up because of this.

This and if you can�t be bothered to do something at cost or at a discount for your S/O who you have been with for a non insignificant amount of time then just lol

# ? Nov 30, 2019 17:48

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

M.C. McMic posted:

This is absolutely fantastic.

"I tried to low-ball a relative because I'm a complete shithead. They came back at me with a completely reasonable (generous) counter offer, and I tried to play Mr. BusinessMan by turning them down and waiting them out. Then they told me to gently caress off and sold the house for much more. Reddit HELP!!"

You can tell this rear end in a top hat fancies himself a savvy businessman but is actually an entitled moron. I love it.

Well according to some posters "because family" they should've taken the lower offer instead of being greedy and accepting a full valur offer.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 18:05

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

The problem with the charging thing is that you need to have honest and upfront conversations about what you're charging for your time and stuff.

If my long term partner asked me for help on a business she was setting up if happily help her. If her business offered a service I then needed though, I'd either use it and pay for it normally or use someone I can afford if I can't afford her company.

If I explicitly thought I was trading my time for hers, if have just said that. If I sort of assumed she would cut me a deal because of my help, and she said she can't, I'd say fair enough, but then from now on I'll charge you what I charge others for my time and both of us will just treat each other like normal customers in terms of pricing etc.

# ? Nov 30, 2019 18:06

Pinecone Sample: Oct 12, 2010; THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420

AITA for failing a student who refused to write in the correct language?

quote:

I teach communication and journalism in an Australian institution. We have strict policies about assignment submission, which must all be written in Australian English. There is lots of information about this policy on the website, students are emailed a copy of it, and I talk about it in the first couple of lectures. We also provide help to students who are struggling. And although it seems pedantic, as these are students who hope to work in Australia, writing for Australian organisations and Australian audiences, the academic council thought it was appropriate.

The students are given a guide on how to write properly, a copy of the policy, links to find academic support and contact details for all lecturers so they can approach us for help if they need it. For the first assignment, I point out any errors but don't mark them down for them.

This year, I had one student who, despite everything, insisted on submitting her assignments in US English. She claimed it was her native language and it was unfair of us to expect her to learn a new one. I put her request to the academic council and they rejected it. She was told it was a requirement of the course that she be proficient in Australian English, and that as she passed the entrance literacy exam, she was clearly able to demonstrate that proficiency. I was told to mark her assignments to the same standard as everyone else. She continued to submit in US English and continued to average around 10% for each assessment. Had she done them properly, she would have averaged around 55%. At the end of the year, she failed the course. She came to see me in tears and was distraught. She genuinely thought we would see things her way and the marks we gave her wouldn't count. She wanted to resubmit her assessments and write them in Australian English. She claimed we were discriminating against her because of her nationality and that, if she were in her native country, this wouldn't happen. I told her no, it was too late and that she could redo the course next semester and maybe she'd have a better understanding of what was required. She lodged a formal complaint against me, my department and the tutor. It was duly investigated and dismissed. She told me I was an arsehole and wished much misfortune upon me. Since then, several students of the same nationality have contacted the department and complained about the way she was treated. AITA?

West Springfield? I'm at the wrong school!

# ? Nov 30, 2019 18:14

Porfiriato: Jan 4, 2016

LOL at insisting on academic coursework being done strictly in your own particular backwater dialect.

E: I'm referring to the professor of course :911:

# ? Nov 30, 2019 18:18

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Is 55% passing?

# ? Nov 30, 2019 18:18

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

I�m likely uninformed, but isn�t Australian English just a diversion from British English and US English and the largest differences are spelling and idioms? Is this instructor taking 40% off for spelling?

# ? Nov 30, 2019 18:19

DamnitGannet: Apr 8, 2007

What is the big difference between us and Australian English? Is it just adding the u to certain words or what, because it seems silly to fail someone over that

# ? Nov 30, 2019 18:19

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 13:15

Uncle Enzo: Apr 28, 2008; I always wanted to be a Wizard

Lucrece posted:

[FL] Can I make family member sell their house to me if it was part of the estate?

Help, I was offered first refusal and refused. Now they're selling for way more money than they offered it to me for. Is there a way I can get the house, and also incidentally look less greedy, shortsighted, and ignorant?

# ? Nov 30, 2019 18:19

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