Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Segmentation Fox posted:

That's not smoke, it's steam!

From the steamed clams!

The Protagonist posted:

what's wrong with ops posting??

Burt Sexual posted:

What’s right with it?

Push El Burrito posted:

Ghosts are very real and if you're not incredibly careful they will steal food off your plate and fly off into the heavens.

Edit: I just googled it and those are seagulls. I apologize to ghosts, I have educated myself, and I will strive to do better in the future.

Solice Kirsk posted:

Gayma rays.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

There was the one time that Banner saw a rainbow and turned into the Hulk.

Milo and POTUS posted:

Hulks out when he finds rainbows are circles

Screaming Idiot posted:

"T-two rainbows? Rrrg... RRGG... WHAT IT MEAN?!"

Milo and POTUS posted:

Hulks out when he finds rainbows are circles

WSAENOTSOCK posted:

For real. I'll be saying this until I'm blue in the face, but Cinema Sins has convinced people that not being media literate is just as good as being media literate and speaking as somebody who used to watch movies and television this way before film school shook that impulse out of me, it is 100% the least productive possible way to make yourself feel smarter.

When you watch things looking for things to complain about, you're engaging with insecurity. The need to feel smarter than the creators of the things you're trying to enjoy does not make you so. And worse yet, you will never enjoy absolutely anything because you'll be too busy looking for ways to feel smart.

The funny thing is, it wasn't learning more about film that made me stop, though that didn't hurt. It was the sheer number of useless people in film school who do this showing me how annoying I must've been to be so angry and judgmental about things I could never hope to make myself.

They'll read scripts or watch student films and fixate on an unimportant detail or willfully misunderstand important ones and then loudly announce to everybody that the thing you made is bad because the toothpaste tube in the heroin addict's bathroom was brand new and unopened. And whether you explain back to them that this was a deliberate choice made for whatever reason or you tell them the toothpaste is unimportant entirely, their goal isn't to help. It's to feel smart. By tearing people down. And these people never, never, never make anything good. Or in many cases, anything at all.

They want you to write their script for them. They tell you they're a "big picture person," making you the small picture person doing all the real work. They'll pitch you movies you've already seen and when you point that out, in a move of pure projection, they tell you that you just want to tear things down.

To the man they all want to direct, but don't have any idea what that means, because they think it's just telling everybody what you want and then yelling at them when you don't get it, completely misunderstanding that the captain of a ship has to understand the jobs of literally everybody else on said ship and the ins and outs of the ship itself. They'll have no idea how to talk to the DP and they never, ever storyboard anything. If you're lucky enough to get a shot list out of them, they'll hand you 40 shots to do in three hours. When you explain that it can't be done, they yell at you.

They all love Quentin Tarantino and when you try to teach them good principles of filmmaking, they say "Quentin breaks rules all the time," again not understanding that Tarantino knows every single principle of filmmaking inside and out so he can break them effectively. So they spend two-to-four years telling the people they themselves are paying to teach them that they don't know anything useful.

And they're always men and boys. Because nobody else gets rewarded for aggressive mediocrity to the point that they have a clear path to become this person.

So, yeah, if something egregiously breaks its own rules? You're allowed to notice that and not like it. But don't be this person.

Moon Slayer posted:

Not necessarily a funny quote but I liked it and agreed with it.

Sleeveless posted:

I dunno, a guy who hates people who consume media solely to look for things to complain about it consuming an internet critic solely to complain about it is pretty funny. As is the idea that they were willing to devote countless years of their life and thousands of dollars to film school without doing an ounce of research to see what film school was actually like and then when they arrive and found it to be the den of failchildren and narcissists like it literally always has been they blame it on the internet man who talk about movie wrong way.

Gatekeeper posted:

Steal a friend's car and try to bury it in the sand on the beach.


After a long night of drinking with some friends, we got the brilliant idea to steal and bury our mutual friend's 1987 Chevy Caprice. We stole the car (I still don't know why my friend Chris knew how to hotwire a car but from what I recall it was pretty easy, I think he used a screwdriver to start it) and got it to the beach when we realized that digging a hole large enough to hold a car was going to be pretty much impossible. Then we realized just how hosed up it would be to bury her car in the sand. We figured we'd just bring the car back, but it was completely stuck in the sand at that point and with the tide coming in, we couldn't figure out what to do. We left it there and swore not to say anything, figuring someone would find it and report it and the cops would be able to get it out. We were right, the cops managed to get it off the sand, but because we had left it on the sand during low tide the car suffered some pretty significant water damage once the tide came in. She still has no idea who took the car.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Guy Mann was created when his mother said "um, actually" at the moment of conception

FactsAreUseless posted:

Guy Mann was created when his mother said "oh god gross ew" at the moment of conception

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Guy Mann you are the single most miserable, whiny, impossible-to-like pain in the rear end on these dead forums. If your goal is to make everyone hate you then congrats although I don't know why you settled on that for a gimmick. If not, how have you not been beaten up by a complete stranger for being the dictionary definition of insufferable?

FactsAreUseless posted:

Guy Mann was created when his mother said "um, actually" at the moment of conception

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

there's a hole in my butt
that can only be filled
byyyyy soap

Oxxidation posted:

I knew someone like that for a while, they’re incapable of checking themselves around others so eventually they become addicted to the negative attention and lean into their bad attitudes instead

FactsAreUseless posted:

Guy Mann was created when his mother said "um, actually" at the moment of conception

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

Memento posted:

what the everloving gently caress am I looking at here

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Bidey num nums

bump_fn posted:

A 65-year-old man was shot dead on Thanksgiving by a booby trap he set up to protect his home from intruders. Ronald Cyr triggered the homemade device which fired a handgun at anyone attempting to enter through the door. He managed to dial 911 to report that he had been shot at the house in Van Buren, Maine on Thursday evening.

President Beep posted:

in free maine, home owns you!!!!

Regalingualius posted:

For 200 years you’ve been asking: Who is Dominic Deegan? This is Dominic Deegan speaking.

*proceeds to fart for six hours straight*

Trabant posted:

You ever count how many people are in Maroon 5? Or Ben Folds Five?

Jose Valasquez posted:

If you think that's disappointing wait until you see the Barenaked Ladies

Enfield posted:

what if there were sea lions, but on land

OhFunny posted:

https://twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/1201635678804725761?s=19

Hell yeah, back to fighting a trade war with the whole world.

En Garde Motherfuckers posted:

why

SardonicTyrant posted:

"Mr President we need to change the diaper. Please stop peeing"

"Stop the oui oui. Got it"

EorayMel posted:

bird with big dick posted:

I deducted the cost of my roomba from my taxes because I glued a dildo to it and it motors around in the background while I’m broadcasting on my chaturbate channel.

e: sorry wrong thread

EorayMel posted:

loquacius posted:

how fey am I? hmm let me think
* weigh -5 pounds
* parents are both dread queen Felurian (long story)
* wear gossamer silken robe to work every day
* have the word "whimsy" instead of a mouth

HerStuddMuffin posted:

Is there anything worth quoting in those 9 pages?