Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

pentyne posted:

I love how all these freaks have a "so something happened and it haunts me to this day but don't ask for details" because its like a 50/50 chance it was either some traumatic PTSD thing or it was a complete non issue they refuse to address or move past.

Being afraid to take a bath because so serious sexual absue happened while in one is pretty legitimate to hate baths, and no reasonable partner would force someone to be that uncomfortable. Given how angry the girlfriend is getting it seems more like a "one time the water was brown and icky I can't ever take a bath again"

I was thinking near drowning as one of their earliest memories. Lord knows, toddlers slip in the tub all the time. All it would take is an inattentive parent.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

Ziv Zulander posted:

I was thinking it’s got to be an Australian term

You would get the poo poo kicked out of you here if you used the term 'tubby' to mean a bath. It would be deserved.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Inceltown posted:

You would get the poo poo kicked out of you here if you used the term 'tubby' to mean a bath. It would be deserved.

That would probably get you at least a relentless mocking in the US. You wouldn’t hear the end of it for years.

gloom
Feb 1, 2003
distracted from distraction by distraction

Pinecone Sample posted:

quote:

AITA for failing a student who refused to write in the correct language?
I teach communication and journalism in an Australian institution. We have strict policies about assignment submission, which must all be written in Australian English. There is lots of information about this policy on the website, students are emailed a copy of it, and I talk about it in the first couple of lectures. We also provide help to students who are struggling. And although it seems pedantic, as these are students who hope to work in Australia, writing for Australian organisations and Australian audiences, the academic council thought it was appropriate.

The students are given a guide on how to write properly, a copy of the policy, links to find academic support and contact details for all lecturers so they can approach us for help if they need it. For the first assignment, I point out any errors but don't mark them down for them.

This year, I had one student who, despite everything, insisted on submitting her assignments in US English. She claimed it was her native language and it was unfair of us to expect her to learn a new one. I put her request to the academic council and they rejected it. She was told it was a requirement of the course that she be proficient in Australian English, and that as she passed the entrance literacy exam, she was clearly able to demonstrate that proficiency. I was told to mark her assignments to the same standard as everyone else. She continued to submit in US English and continued to average around 10% for each assessment. Had she done them properly, she would have averaged around 55%. At the end of the year, she failed the course. She came to see me in tears and was distraught. She genuinely thought we would see things her way and the marks we gave her wouldn't count. She wanted to resubmit her assessments and write them in Australian English. She claimed we were discriminating against her because of her nationality and that, if she were in her native country, this wouldn't happen. I told her no, it was too late and that she could redo the course next semester and maybe she'd have a better understanding of what was required. She lodged a formal complaint against me, my department and the tutor. It was duly investigated and dismissed. She told me I was an arsehole and wished much misfortune upon me. Since then, several students of the same nationality have contacted the department and complained about the way she was treated. AITA?

West Springfield? I'm at the wrong school!
This shithead is giving too much weight to all the wrong things in their assignments and it's infuriating :argh: spelling and idiom are way, way less important than things like genre conventions, let alone the actual ideas. Decent odds they're a bit racist, too, people who insist on gatekeeping "proper English" from international students (even from other English speaking countries) frequently are. At the very least they're way too parochial to be teaching university-level communications or composition.

Peaceful Anarchy
Sep 18, 2005
sXe
I am the math man.

Sagebrush posted:

Oh and construction wife mooch guy is definitely either unemployed or he's some low-level computer toucher which is why he considers helping her draft an email to be work. When he didn't charge her for "being a laborer" it was probably helping to move some lumber or picking up screws at home depot or whatever. Now she's probably got a crew of half a dozen skilled laborers to work on whatever the project is and he's asking her to eat the cost because he carried some nails and plugged in her printer.
He's a loving landlord, which obviously makes him scum by default.

quote:

Recently I bought a rental property and I asked her to do some of the construction work.
I think it's reasonable to believe the laborer work he did was real and relatively valuable, though, since she not only offered to pay him but billed her client for it.

From the story as told I don't think either is wrong. Both "We do favours for each other because we love each other" and "We treat anything that involves our businesses professionally and bill each other as normal" are reasonable standards, the issue is that they are bad at communication and should have discussed it meaningfully when she offered to pay for his work and he refused.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

gloom posted:

West Springfield? I'm at the wrong school!
This shithead is giving too much weight to all the wrong things in their assignments and it's infuriating :argh: spelling and idiom are way, way less important than things like genre conventions, let alone the actual ideas. Decent odds they're a bit racist, too, people who insist on gatekeeping "proper English" from international students (even from other English speaking countries) frequently are. At the very least they're way too parochial to be teaching university-level communications or composition.

This isn't some racist issue its a industry defined standard. Do you think writing a news report in slang or broken English would get published by WaPo or the NY Times? Is that racist gatekeeping?

What seems to be getting lost in all the rage is that technical writing is highly specific to the field. Either learn the style and format or give up any chance to ever get published or accepted. The professor is teaching people how to write for the style and format their will need in Australia journalism/comm.

You can rage against MLA or ACS standard format but if you don't submit your work according to that standard they won't even bother to read it. Even having this attitude reflects that you've never had to write and format something for possible publishing. Also, "genre conventions"? This specifically a class about journalism, not creative writing. If you can't understand the difference beyond a novel and a published news article then why even engage in this discussion?

pentyne fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Nov 30, 2019

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


Inceltown posted:

You would get the poo poo kicked out of you here if you used the term 'tubby' to mean a bath. It would be deserved.

I had brekky at Macca’s then pulled a sickie off work and drank a stubby :australia:

e: sorry, should’ve used the c word a few times for this to be real australian

Ziv Zulander fucked around with this message at 22:31 on Nov 30, 2019

OctaMurk
Jun 21, 2013

gloom posted:

West Springfield? I'm at the wrong school!
This shithead is giving too much weight to all the wrong things in their assignments and it's infuriating :argh: spelling and idiom are way, way less important than things like genre conventions, let alone the actual ideas. Decent odds they're a bit racist, too, people who insist on gatekeeping "proper English" from international students (even from other English speaking countries) frequently are. At the very least they're way too parochial to be teaching university-level communications or composition.

1. The professor sought and received very clear, official university guidance. If the policy is "lovely" it is completely not his fault.

2. If you're taking a communication class in Australia where you have been specifically instructed to use Australian English because the intended audience is Australian, and you deliberately choose to use US English instead... then you're a loving dumbass and should not be taking classes in Australia. The student should head back to the US if she feels unable to use anything but US English.

Miserable Maid
Apr 22, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

Ziv Zulander posted:

I had brekky at Macca’s then pulled a sickie off work and drank a stubby :australia:

God, I hate "Maccas". It doesn't even make sense! At least "Micky D's" sounds like the real name.

English and Aussie slang is always annoying, there's no natural line from words, so you know they forced the slang. Like a "that's so Fetch" kinda thing, pathetic

dads friend steve
Dec 24, 2004

StoryTime posted:

This place is a message... and part of a system of messages ...pay attention to it!
Sending this emanation was important to me. I considered my pair of testicles to be an almighty combo.
This place is a place of great honor... highly esteemed seed is commemorated here... it is of incredible value.

From 13 pages ago, but drat this is a good post

Clitch
Feb 26, 2002

I lived through
Donald Trump's presidency
and all I got was
this lousy virus

Railing Kill posted:

So then we agree. I called them bigots because that's what they are because of how they choose to be ignorant. Bigotry comes in degrees, and microaggressions are a thing.

And your post proves my point about suburbs/small towns vs urban life: it's easier than ever to embrace multiculturalism, so it's one's own fault for not doing it no matter where you live... but it's also possible to do it no matter where you live.

But thanks for the meltdown.

I don't know what's cuter: You scurrying to move the goalposts, that dramatic effect ellipsis before you just invert and repeat the previous sentence, or that you think my post qualifies as a meltdown.

pentyne posted:

I love how all these freaks have a "so something happened and it haunts me to this day but don't ask for details" because its like a 50/50 chance it was either some traumatic PTSD thing or it was a complete non issue they refuse to address or move past.

Being afraid to take a bath because so serious sexual absue happened while in one is pretty legitimate to hate baths, and no reasonable partner would force someone to be that uncomfortable. Given how angry the girlfriend is getting it seems more like a "one time the water was brown and icky I can't ever take a bath again"

Dude got his dick stuck in the pump intake, didn't he?

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

DamnitGannet posted:

What is the big difference between us and Australian English? Is it just adding the u to certain words or what, because it seems silly to fail someone over that

Imagine failing a university course because you refuse to stop writing about Southern BBQ and New York vs Chicago styles of pizza

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...
AITA for breaking my daughter’s spine?

quote:

Hi reddit I'm a dad (m55) and basically my wife (f53) died three days (-3d) ago (rip) and I'm (m55) already engaged (6 months) with the love of my life (f22) who I (m55) met at the funeral (-2d). She's (f22) cute and quirky and all around the best woman I've ever met (69). So my (m55) lazy good for nothing narcissistic toxic problematic daughter (f21) thinks I (m55) moved on too quickly and said I (m55) shouldn't become engaged to her (f21) best friend (f22) because she (f21) is still mourning. Who the gently caress does she (f21) think she (f21) is to dictate my (m55) happiness and what I (m55) do with my (m55) life? So I (m55) told her (f21) to grovel before her (f21) new mother's (f22) feet (size 6) and apologize for her (f21) insolence or I (m55) would break her (f21) spine (t1 - t12). She (f21) refused so I (m55) grabbed my (m55) sledgehammer ($45.60) and smashed (3000N) her (f21) spine (t1 - t12) to pieces (<10cm) and now she (f21) refuses to speak to me (m55)?

Anyways I (m55) don't think I'm (m55) the rear end in a top hat (o) but my daughter (f21) hasn't gotten out of her hospital bed to apologize yet so I (m55) think this might be a lost cause. The worst part is my (m55) wedding ($90 000) is tomorrow and I (m55) don't need the extra stress either.

edit: (grammour)

/r/relationships: edit: (grammour)

goethe.cx
Apr 23, 2014


Clitch posted:



Dude got his dick stuck in the pump intake, didn't he?

Guts: Part II

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
Imagine a journalism major in Australia writing an article mentioning a fanny pack or a bum bag and the audience doesn't know whether it's talking about a hobo spindle or vaginal insertion. We should start breaking up the Englishes-speaking internet.

SirSamVimes
Jul 21, 2008

~* Challenge *~


Lucrece posted:

AITA for breaking my daughter’s spine?


/r/relationships: edit: (grammour)

Is this that text generator thing? Because that is a great result

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


Lucrece posted:

AITA for breaking my daughter’s spine?


/r/relationships: edit: (grammour)

I am a big fan of smashed (3000N)

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood

Mr. Lobe posted:

I am a big fan of smashed (3000N)

3000 newtons is equivalent to one SUPER SLAM!!!

Organic Lube User
Apr 15, 2005

Lucrece posted:

AITA for breaking my daughter’s spine?


/r/relationships: edit: (grammour)

This has to be pure trolling.

...right?

Pinecone Sample
Oct 12, 2010

THIS ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SEIZED
by the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation in accordance with a seizure warrant issued pursuant to 69 U.S.C Sec. 420
AITA if I report a Purple Heart marine for fraud or maybe worse?

quote:

Ok so idk if this counts as fraud or even if my story would be of any use to the military but it’s kinda bothered me .

So I used to be really close friends w this guy who has a Purple Heart was a marine vet and did a couple tours looking for bombs in the ground in Afghanistan . He was telling me one day about the explosion that sent him home and I asked him if he had feared for his life or assumed he was dead at that moment and that’s when he sort of broke down and told me that he had enlisted originally bc he didn’t care about life And figured enlisting was an honorable way to go and then one day in Afghanistan he realized he wanted to live so he started researching the terms on which he could be released and he realized if he got hurt a decent amount he could be released and given his full benefits etc

So he went and found a bomb in the ground and made sure he was far enough distance away to activate it where it would only hurt him and not kill him, and that’s what it did . In his legs and arms mostly.

At the time he told me the story I felt like good for him bc that was a bad situation to be in . But then I found out later he was the leader of that platoon and a week or two later two men in his unit died doing the sweep he was in charge of . That AND since being in the US he has basically conned everyone I know out of tons of money.

He pretended to go to college for a couple years to get the college living fund and paid his roommates to do his community college homework, he used the veterans land buying program to buy a huge plot of land then “sold” portions of it to others who later found out they couldn’t own any of it and lost all the money they put it into it , and much more .

He promised them big stuff like land shares and investment returns off his wacky ideas and they never go anywhere except his pocket and soon enough he’s broke again and has a new scheme for money. His newest scheme bothers me the most bc it’s some “fundraising” goal of a 100k to “talk” about people who no longer have a will to go on and all he does is go around talking about how brave a war vet he was and milks the “ I survived a bomb” storyline .

A lot of his scorned business partners have confided in me after losing tons of money saying they still respected him for his service to his country and when I tell them this piece it changed their opinion and they all said if they’d known that prior they wouldn’t have gone into business w him

I feel Really Torn bc it was told to me in confidence and also I don’t even know if such a thing could be proven by the military or if the military would care , but I’m also sick of this man touting himself as a war hero and misleading others and taking their money.

Bardeh
Dec 2, 2004

Fun Shoe

quote:

She (f21) refused so I (m55) grabbed my (m55) sledgehammer ($45.60) and smashed (3000N) her (f21) spine (t1 - t12) to pieces (<10cm)

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Organic Lube User posted:

This has to be pure trolling.

...right?

It’s something called a joke.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

AITA for taking a tubby with a stripper?

gloom
Feb 1, 2003
distracted from distraction by distraction

pentyne posted:

This isn't some racist issue its a industry defined standard. Do you think writing a news report in slang or broken English would get published by WaPo or the NY Times? Is that racist gatekeeping?

What seems to be getting lost in all the rage is that technical writing is highly specific to the field. Either learn the style and format or give up any chance to ever get published or accepted. The professor is teaching people how to write for the style and format their will need in Australia journalism/comm.

You can rage against MLA or ACS standard format but if you don't submit your work according to that standard they won't even bother to read it. Even having this attitude reflects that you've never had to write and format something for possible publishing. Also, "genre conventions"? This specifically a class about journalism, not creative writing. If you can't understand the difference beyond a novel and a published news article then why even engage in this discussion?
Genre theory covers a lot more than creative writing, "news article" can also be usefully understood as a genre with its own set of conventions. MLA prefers American spellings but permits British ones, and APA doesn't care as long as it's consistent (either American or British spelling) within the same text. I'm not familiar with ACS. That being said, after thinking a bit, I agree with your basic point, the student needs to practice the conventions expected by her intended audience, including spelling. I overreacted to framing her language choices as not "correct" in the title, when the instructor's actions were really pretty reasonable. I do still feel a bit sorry for the student, even if it's something she had to learn eventually. Seems like it could have been handled differently earlier on.

OctaMurk posted:

1. The professor sought and received very clear, official university guidance. If the policy is "lovely" it is completely not his fault.

2. If you're taking a communication class in Australia where you have been specifically instructed to use Australian English because the intended audience is Australian, and you deliberately choose to use US English instead... then you're a loving dumbass and should not be taking classes in Australia. The student should head back to the US if she feels unable to use anything but US English.
All true and I can understand an instructor's frustration with a student who has trouble following the established practices. From my perspective they're NTA and she kind of is TA, or at least a bit entitled. EAL learners often face a lot worse. I just wonder if there had been a less confrontational way to manage the situation earlier.

gloom fucked around with this message at 00:15 on Dec 1, 2019

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Anime Deviant

gloom posted:

I just wonder if there had been a less confrontational way to manage the situation earlier.
She's literally refusing to follow/learn the conventions of a profession she's taking a class for. Who cares about someone finding a nicer way to tell her she's an idiot?

Eediot Jedi
Dec 25, 2007

This is where I begin to speculate what being a
man of my word costs me

Ziv Zulander posted:

I had brekky at Macca’s then pulled a sickie off work and drank a stubby :australia:

e: sorry, should’ve used the c word a few times for this to be real australian

Good effort mate. Next time just say chucked a sickie, the off work is redundant, and hit the piss/grog. Drank a stubby is fine it just doesn't capture the alcohol soaked reality of an Aussie skipping work to get smashed.

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Knobb Manwich posted:

just doesn't capture the alcohol soaked reality of an Aussie

Can copy edit playing drunken hookie but not tell us if 55% is passing :australia:

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Knobb Manwich posted:

Good effort mate. Next time just say chucked a sickie, the off work is redundant, and hit the piss/grog. Drank a stubby is fine it just doesn't capture the alcohol soaked reality of an Aussie skipping work to get smashed.

How about "did a uey in a ute by the uni"?

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

kimbo305 posted:

Can copy edit playing drunken hookie but not tell us if 55% is passing :australia:

50% is a pass, 65% is a credit, 75% distinction, 85% high distinction. 45% may get you a pass conceded depending on the place.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

How about "did a uey in a ute by the uni"?

You'd chuck a euy too.

Whorelord
May 1, 2013

Jump into the well...

Knobb Manwich posted:

Good effort mate. Next time just say chucked a sickie, the off work is redundant, and hit the piss/grog. Drank a stubby is fine it just doesn't capture the alcohol soaked reality of an Aussie skipping work to get smashed.

If the Brits and Americans are two countries separated by a common language Australia and the UK are two countries separated by a common language and culture.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
This reminds me of when my husband and I went to Australia. I politely corrected everyone that it was called McDonald's, not Maccas, and eventually they called the police (bobbies?) on me and I was whipped by their prime minister until I called it Maccas. The experience was so traumatizing that to this day I refuse to hold business meetings in *eye twitches* Macca's restrooms.

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
AITA for not allowing my fiancé to legally adopt my infant daughter?

quote:

My fiancé and I have been together for 4 years and live together in a house we closed on 5 months ago.

The last year has been turmoil because we were in an open relationship (we were each other’s main) because we were curious about that life style. A hook up of mine ended up getting pregnant even though she told me she was on the pill. She knew full that I am in a relationship and she wanted to be child free for life. She can’t stand children and we agreed abortion was best but she changed her mind last minute and wanted to continue the pregnancy and put the baby up for adoption.

I ended up keeping my daughter after working out many issues with my fiancé. The biological mom dipped and that’s fine because we do not need monetary support (combined 300k) My daughter is 2 months old now and living with us. Our life is back on track for once and everything is fine but my fiancé is insistent on legally adopting my daughter. I have my reservations on this because god forbid if anything were to happen to our relationship I would have to fight custody battles over a child that is biologically not hers. I spent a poo poo load of money dealing with the biological mom and settling this in a peaceful way. I have learned that I hate custody issues and court. I don’t mind doing this after we are married for a few years. I reassured her it is not a permanent decision.

My fiancé keeps saying is is already attached to my daughter and that she takes care of her like a mother and wants to legally be recognized as it. She does take care of her while I work full time, and she is great with her. I am grateful of having such a supportive woman in my life but I just don’t feel comfortable with it yet. You don’t need a piece of paper to love and be a parent to a child.

DragQueenofAngmar
Dec 29, 2009

You shall not pass!
this one is crazy, but it has so many weird details and tangents that I’m sorta thinking it’s legit :stare:

I [29M] told my gf [29F] of three years that I think her parents house is messy and now her mom hates me.

quote:

First please excuse any grammar errors as english is not my first language.

I was raised in an old world culture where you clean up after yourself, and if you are the youngest member in the family then you are most certainly expected to put an effort to help out. I'm not saying things should be sparkling clean 24/7, but the overall appearance should be organized and clutter free.

Ever since I started dating my GF, her family has been nothing but supportive of us (with the exception of her older sister and her mother because they don't like my political views). Her parents tried to include me as part of the family. They would do that by inviting me over to family events, dinner at a diner, and they would always pay for the both of us even though I always wanted to cover myself and their daughter.

However, I was always biting my tongue on how their home was kept. I understand that perhaps its none of my business and that I shouldn't judge other people, but every time I get invited over and I step into her parents home I get overwhelmed with the smell of urine and dirty laundry (they have 4 dogs in the house).

(A bit of context before I proceed)

Her parents have 5 children. 4 daughters and 1 son. My GF is the third and her brother is the youngest.

Their first/oldest daughter moved out and is married.

Their second daughter (the one that never greets me and doesn't make an effort to get to know me) is in her 30s and is still single and living at her parents house.

Their third daughter is my GF.

The fourth daughter (the youngest daughter, lets call her Ella) ran away from home 3 years ago with someome she met online and moved to another state where she didnt speak to her family for 3 years. During this time she stayed with the man (let's call him Jack) she eloped with and birthed a son and daughter.

My gfs brother is 21 years old and likes me a lot. I look at him like a little brother and perhaps he can sense it.

Noone in her house is handy. They always hire someone to do work. I am a handy type of person. Her family knows this because I tried to impress them early on in the relationship by fixing their broken door, and their chair. I also replaced a ceiling fan for them that wasnt working for months.

Eventually my Gfs family wanted their youngest daughter to come home. Unfortunately after 3 years the house looked different and they asked me to help rebuild their old basement. Wanting to impress her family and take on a challenge as well, I accepted.

Their basement is very big. It could home another family it was so big. I said that they will have to pay for material but my labor will cost 7k. They agreed.

Their basement was flooded and destroyed by hurricane Sandy. I had to demo the basement, remove asbestos covered pipes (I know how to do it so please don't worry), fix electrical, reroute water pipes and gas pipes, and reroute sewage plumbing. I build them a full bathroom in a basement that had a sump pump for the waste water. The bathroom was fully tiled. It was very hard work.

It took a year but I worked alone and I managed to give them a very nice looking finished basement that was liveable with all desired luxuries. It looked like a different home when compared to the upstairs.

My GFs brother ended up taking the basement and he loves it mostly because I convinced his parents to use high end sound insulating rockwool insulation for between the walls and ceiling. He often plays loud music and noone can hear it now.

Now that I was done, things seemed to be great. My GFs younger sister came home (and brought with her the father of her two children, and her kids as well). Her family was once again reunited. Everyone was happy.

The resentment and strange feeling within me began when my GFs family was scheduling a trip to Cancun. Her parents paid for everyone in the family excluding me. Her parents paid the trip cost for the man who eloped with her youngest daughter but not me. I felt like I was not appreciated. They wanted me to use the 7k money that I earned for the basement to pay for my ticket. I spoke with my GF about it and that it stressed me out. She told me that her parents were forced to pay for her sisters bf bc if they didnt, he wouldn't go which meant her sister wouldn't go either. I ended up paying and going bc I didnt want to upset my GF and because I haven't been on a vacation in ten years.

After the trip my parents had a dinner party in their home and they invited my parents over. I was excited to show my parents the work I've done. When my parents arrived, they spoke to me (in Russian so that noone understood) why the house was such a mess and why would they invite us in this condition. The house reeked of dog urine and dirty laundry. It made my parents not have an appetite to eat and they were skeaved out. They saw the basement and were upset that it was already filled with clothes and towels on the floor. The toilet bowl was discolored and wasn't scrubbed. Apparently my GF and her mom noticed that my parents were uncomfortable. My parents didn't say anything however and neither did my GFs parents.

A short time after that my GF fell down the stairs in her parents home (no matter what my GF says, I will always think she slipped because of the huge amount of clutter). She broke her leg. It was a spiral fracture and she broke her tibia and fibula in three areas.

I was working overtime and i got a call from her brother and he informed me the news. I heard my GFs painful screaming in the background and I rushed to her home. I told her brother to call 911 for an ambulance. I tell my supervisor I have a family emergency and I rush to her house.

I get to her house before the ambulance does. I learn that the call was delayed because her mother wanted to finish eating her dinner and that she thought my GF was exaggerating. I was very angry. I thought that was a despicable move from her mother. Her brother apologized to me but he tried the best he could to comfort my GF.

My GF was in the hospital and I was with her everyday. She had a rod put in her tibia. I would go home only after my GF fell asleep at night and would return after my shift ended. Her mother didnt visit her once after surgery.

She was then in a rehab facility and they wanted to discharge her. I had a tense conversation with her mother about where she will end up going. I was adament that she is discharged to my home to live with my parents. Her mother wanted her to go back with her but my gf chose to be with me.

I did not want her to go back to the home where she had the accident where it's a mess.

She ends up moving to my home in Queens. During this time my mother was taking care of her while I was at work. My mother would bring her breakfast/lunch/dinner in bed, and also help her go to the bathroom when needed. I also helped when I was home and not at work.

Her parents did not ONCE visit to see how she was doing. They only spoke on the phone. My family and I found this very odd and frankly mean and felt like it was a betrayal.

Fast forward a year. My GF can walk now (but with a limp). My parents bought a big fancy house in Long Island with the intent to leave it in my name.

My parents and her parents met and we spoke about a prenuptial agreement so that in the event of a divorce, the house will stay with me. This was done because my parents and I are immigrants and have worked since 1996 and saved up to purchase a home in a renowned area with an excellent school district. My parents do not want all that hard work to be in vain hence the prenuptial agreement. Think of it like peace of mind.

My GF moved in with me and my parents so that we may begin building the financial foundation of our family.

Little by little, my mother starts to bring to me concerns about my GF and her mother. She feels that they aren't doing their part.

I must explain. In my culture, its expected that my GF help my mom prepare the food, help organize the house, etc. They are not housewives. We dont expect them to do everything. We all have roles. I for example will do the laundry and my GF will fold the clothes.

But my GF doesn't seem to want to be involved in my families affairs as much as I'd like her to be. I need her to learn my mothers recipes, how to cook and to learn Russian. This way (when she is home) she can pull her own weight around and help out. She feels like I am trying to make her a servant. This makes me feel stressed out because I have done nothing but support her every step of the way. I know how to do all of these things. But i need her to know it as well so that one day if I am incapacitated like she was, she can take care of me. I dont have confidence that she can take care of me. This is one ingredient of why there was a big argument.

The next ingredient is that the past Halloween my GF had a party in her parents house. Her parents promised her that the house would be organized when she would arrive to prepare and decorate. When we get there it's not organized. All they did was shove all the dirty laundry and all the mess to several piles in the living room and covered it with a blanket.

Still, I hold my tongue. But when I saw her father empty an ENTIRE febreze bottle in the home and on the couch and the stairs and the blanket, I had to leave to get fresh air. I couldn't breathe in there the febreze was so potent.

This upset my GFs mom.

A week after the party I told my GF that I feel embarassed for her family. Her mother has 5 children and noone bothers to help her mother clean the house up. On top of that, they are OK with living in a house where every other item on the floor is a trip hazard. I think that if everyone in that house collectively pitched in a helping hand, the house would be organized and look pleasant to be in.

My GF got mad at me for sharing my feelings. It turned into an argument when it shouldn't have. I ended up getting angry and told her that I think her family lives like pigs in a barn. I brought up the time her dogs would piss under the dining room table and noone would bother to clean it until i brought it up. These things bother me! And she says that this is normal and that every American household is like this. I brought up the time her dogs would crap on the floor and noone wanted to clean it up.

She was so mad she had to call her mom. I told her " Dont you go on and do this now, if you tell your mom then this will be the beginning of the end and you'll condemn the relationship". She ends up calling her mom.

Now i understand that maybe she was having a panic attack or something because she's never had anyone tell her this sort of thing before. But i don't think she should have spoken to her mother. After she spoke with her mom, her mom let out her true colors and began to show how much she hates me. All of a sudden I'm not allowed at the house anymore.

I met with her mother at a dunkin donuts and apologized to her.

A week later my GF washed a plate and put it in the drying rack. She washed it poorly, there was still oil residue on it. My mom told her that she didnt wash it properly and wanted to show her how we wash it. My GF flipped out and raised her tone to my mother. She then called her mom and told her. Her mother thinks that it was ridiculous that my mom had to point out a dirty dish to her. Maybe it was. But I think my GFs reaction was also wrong.

Her mom told me that she thinks my GF has horrible living arrangements bc she gets nothing more than zero (says the woman that didnt even visit her when she was bedbound in my home). Her mother told me that I need to put her daughter first and above my parents. That statement sounded manipulative to me so I said no. I cannot so that. You cant make me choose between my parents and your daughter. We aren't even married yet. We don't have any kids. I choose my side on a case by case basis and I wont blindly defend your daughter if I think she did something wrong. All we ask is that since she lives under our household, she respects our rules and carries some of her own weight around.

Her mom got upset and left. Now everyday her mother texts my GF telling her to not walk but run away as far from me as possible. Her mother will take any chance she gets to bash my family. The horrible things she said to my family.

My GF begged me to make this stop. I told her "well you shouldn't have spoken to your mom. Shes too involved in your life. Nothing we can do now but wait until the dust settles and everyone calms down."

But her mother is a lawyer and lawyers know that you have to get the jury on your side. So her mother seeded all these bad things about me to her entire family and now everyone in her family hates me too with the exception of my GFs brother.

I overheard my GFs mother talking to her on the phone one day and telling her to come home. She told her to come home and never loom back and that she will take my cup in that house and spit in it. At that point i lost my temper and texted her mother:

" I don't want to have you as my mother in law. Take your daughter back or ensure that she is gone by the end of the week or I'll leave her things outside in garbage bags for you guys to pick up. At least she won't have "zero".

ByeFelicia"
Apparently this made her mom say that now I have zero chance of making things right. Her mom is even more relentless and she texts me and my GF horrible things about me and my family.

My GF again begged me to do something. So I showed up at her mothers house with flowers and chocolate and asked for forgiveness. Her mother yelled at me and slammed the door on me.

At this point I've accepted that the relationship is crippled but I'm trying my best here to make things right. I keep telling my GF to tell everyone in her family to shut up and mind their own business. Her mom calls or texts her every hour of the day to say something else nasty about me and my family.

I cant believe that her mother can say such things and her mother was never there for her. I've had it to about here before I tell her mother to go f herself in a pit of crap.

Personally I think that there's no way out except telling my GF that she needs to leave. Everyday is so stressful. Otherwise I would do whatever I can to make it work. Maybe one of you can help me out in this tangled mess. I thank you.

TL;DR - i told my gf of 3 years that her family lives like pigs in a barn and her mom got wind of it and now hates me and causes drama left and right.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

Haifisch posted:

AITA for not allowing my fiancé to legally adopt infant daughter?

The child also doesn't need to have your blood rear end in a top hat. You say she can be a loving mother without legal recognition with the sole goal of denying her legal protection as a mother.

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005

Haifisch posted:

AITA for not allowing my fiancé to legally adopt my infant daughter?

Wow, what a loving rear end in a top hat.

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


Biplane posted:

Wow, what a loving rear end in a top hat.

expect no less from guillotine fodder like that

goethe.cx
Apr 23, 2014


DragQueenofAngmar posted:

this one is crazy, but it has so many weird details and tangents that I’m sorta thinking it’s legit :stare:

I [29M] told my gf [29F] of three years that I think her parents house is messy and now her mom hates me.

a lot to unpack here but this

quote:

(with the exception of her older sister and her mother because they don't like my political views).

means he's a republican, doesn't it

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

goethe.cx posted:

a lot to unpack here but this


means he's a republican, doesn't it

They probably are.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


goethe.cx posted:

a lot to unpack here but this


means he's a republican, doesn't it

he's a petit bourgeois russian, that means his family's wealth probably came from the scraps from when the russian economy was smashed open and plundered like a piggy bank by a handful of plutocrats around the fall of the soviet union. I would not expect his politics to be especially progressive.

Mr. Lobe fucked around with this message at 01:35 on Dec 1, 2019

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply