/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Skypie: Sep 28, 2008

Ugly In The Morning posted:

That’s loving amazing, I don’t know why he thought that would save him. Though that may just be general sparky weirdness. You guys are odd.

I have absolutely and certainly worked with some extremely weird motherfuckers.

Barudak posted:

This is amazing in such an adorable yet helpless way. Like a dog with a cardboard tube stuck on its nose

He was a good guy but I definitely facepalmed when I heard him say that

Still better than the kid who ate snow off the ground at the poo poo plant :catstare:

# ? Dec 1, 2019 05:54

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# ? May 30, 2024 10:11

goethe.cx: Apr 23, 2014

quote:

Still better than the kid who ate snow off the ground at the poo poo plant

i've gotta hear the story behind this. it sounds like a cautionary adage, "don't eat snow off the ground at the poo poo plant"

# ? Dec 1, 2019 06:07

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

....poo poo plant? sewage facility, i'm assuming?

# ? Dec 1, 2019 06:12

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Skypie posted:

Still better than the kid who ate snow off the ground at the poo poo plant

There are some weird, weird motherfuckers who work trades. He was probably doing less weird poo poo than the pipefitters at least.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 06:16

Skypie: Sep 28, 2008

goethe.cx posted:

i've gotta hear the story behind this. it sounds like a cautionary adage, "don't eat snow off the ground at the poo poo plant"

StrangersInTheNight posted:

....poo poo plant? sewage facility, i'm assuming?

Yeah, we were at a water treatment plant in February. They were adding/upgrading stuff, and we were pulling in new 15,000 volt cables for power distribution. We're getting all set up one morning, and the apprentices had the illustrious task of being the workhorses dragging the cables off the giant spools.

One of them was a dude who liked like he was about 16 and at one point he says, "I'm thirsty." I tell him it's probably gonna be 10 or 15 more minutes before we start the pull so it's a good chance for him to grab water from the trailer or whatever. He replies "nah, that's ok" then reaches down and grabs a handful of snow off the ground and stuffs it in his mouth.

We were maybe 200 yards from where raw sewage enters the facility to begin the treatment process and all I could think was :wtfdude:

and told him I hoped he'd gotten his hepatitis vaccine

# ? Dec 1, 2019 06:25

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

so how long was he out for a monster stomach infection

# ? Dec 1, 2019 07:44

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

it isn’t though. the restaurant is called McDonald’s.

Ah. It's pronounced more like "Mack" here, guessing it's closer to "mick" there.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 08:06

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

Miserable Maid posted:

God, I hate "Maccas". It doesn't even make sense! At least "Micky D's" sounds like the real name.

English and Aussie slang is always annoying, there's no natural line from words, so you know they forced the slang. Like a "that's so Fetch" kinda thing, pathetic

lmao imagine being mad about slang, like how can the way people naturally talk be "forced"

# ? Dec 1, 2019 08:15

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Slang only exists to define an in-group and exclude everyone else.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 08:22

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Whorelord posted:

lmao imagine being mad about slang, like how can the way people naturally talk be "forced"

# ? Dec 1, 2019 08:23

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

my favorite thing to do is teach my EFL students outdated slang. that's the cat's pajamas, so's your uncle, its like an abbot and costello routine in polish accents. i am a monster and deserve to be rendered into whale oil.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 08:28

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

The fun part about Aussie slang is that so much of it changes basically every five minutes. Also sometimes old and obscure stuff comes back into popularity.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 08:41

Eediot Jedi: Dec 25, 2007; This is where I begin to speculate what being a
man of my word costs me

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

my favorite thing to do is teach my EFL students outdated slang. that's the cat's pajamas, so's your uncle, its like an abbot and costello routine in polish accents. i am a monster and deserve to be rendered into whale oil.

It's just not cricket.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 08:41

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

UPDTATE - My (24 M) girlfriend (22 F) had a guy friend sleep over at her place and I walked in on it.

quote:

THIS IS AN UPDATE TO MY PREVIOUS POST .

First off, I want to thank you all (well, most of you) for insight that I truly believe I wouldn�t have found anywhere else. About 75% of the people told me that I should leave her cheating rear end. About 15% told me that she betrayed my trust but that doesn�t mean that she cheated on me. About 5% told me that they don�t understand why I�m mad/that I�m just insecure. The last 5% were insincere/meme/joke comments.

So it turns out, and I know this will be a major shock to you all, but she did indeed cheat on me. And I have indeed left her.

I should have left the second I caught Adam in her room and trusted my gut, but I invested a lot of myself into this relationship and I just didn�t want to accept that it was ending. I wanted her to be telling the truth. This thread, to be honest, was one of the few things that encouraged me not to sweep it under the rug.

I told her that she had completely lost my trust, and she said that she would do anything, for as long as it takes, to gain it back. I started by asking her several questions and telling her that I straight up just did not believe her on a few things because they don�t add up.

I told her I had no way of knowing if she was going to tell me about Adam sleeping over. I have no way of knowing if she didn�t do anything with him. I have no way of knowing if there were plans prior for him to come up. The only thing I knew for sure is that there was a guy in her bed that slept over that she didn�t say a word about. She consistently denied everything.

Eventually, I asked her about my birthday present, which never came in the mail. My birthday was 2 months ago, and she never did anything for me. She did tell me, however, that she bought me a nice watch and even showed me a pic of it.

Week after week went by and no watch. She eventually told me the order was cancelled and she got a refund, which we could use together to buy another watch somewhere in town. I asked a couple times, did you get me a birthday present or didn�t you. She said yes, every time. I finally asked her to show me the receipt for it, and only when I searched her email for the receipt to find nothing, did she tell me that she never got me a watch. She did ensure me that �she meant to buy the watch, but it was too expensive.� I told her all she had to do was get me a Starbucks with my name on it, money and fancy gifts don�t matter, but she chose instead to lie about this for no reason. She had lied to me for months about this so easily, and this was the wake up point. I knew that she was a capable loving liar.

I wasn�t getting anything out of her, so I finally thought I would try the other party involved. I asked her to call Adam, while I sit in on the call, and simply ask him, �what do you think happened that night?� At this point her hands started shaking in nervous fear as she started getting his contact info up. She called him and no answer. I tell her to text him, �we need to talk, call me� and that I do not want her to text him at all until he gets back and we can have the call.

Immediately after this, her phone, which is usually out in the open, unguarded, disappears in her pocket. We sit down to watch a movie while we wait, and I had to ask her to take her phone out so I can see it. She does, but then about 5 minutes later asks me to grab her some crackers for her stomach (she has been stomach sick).

I leave the room for about 30 seconds, and when I return, she is turned away from me, with her phone open. She immediately starts to act like she is getting sick and needs to vomit (she had done this continuously when I was trying to talk to her about what happened, probably to make herself look more pathetic) She probably was hoping that I would leave to grab a bucket. Instead I told her to go the toilet, which she does, for some reason leaving her phone. She is in the process of sending Adam a message, and all of their prior texts have been deleted. This is especially distressing, because it basically means that there was stuff in those text messages from Adam after all, and I just didn�t look back far enough.

So. Big moment. It all boiled down to this. I take her phone into the bathroom and ask why the messages are gone and why is texting him. She is pretending to vomit again, but manages to say something like, �you can clearly see I�m texting him.� Whatever that was supposed to mean.

I kept it short. Told her she was loving liar and that we were done. Threw her phone on the floor, went downstairs, had a meltdown, hugged my mom, called my sister and talked about it. It�s a few hours later now, and I have come to terms with it, at least for now.

-Ending thoughts-

I wanted to believe her about not doing anything because I was quite honesty in denial. There were a lot of little nice things about the relationship that I really wanted to hold onto, but there were also a lot of larger problems that I was just completely intentionally ignoring.

Her personal finances were a mess. She didn�t prioritize where her money went at all. She makes around, I would guess, $20,000 per year currently and instead of buying a starter car until she was in a better position financially, she went out and bought a brand new $20,000 car that she will be paying off for the next 7 years. This was so financially dominating for her, that she never had the money to register the drat thing, and has been driving an unregistered car for the last 4 months. I kept telling her that the ticket is going to be way more than just saving up a little bit to allocate the money to pay the registration, but she just wouldn�t it. This was only one of many very questionable financial decisions that she made.

She would ghost me for hours sometimes, even on times where we had plans to hang out. I bet some of you have suggestions of what was going on there.

Probably the largest difference between us was our life directions. I am about a year into a civil engineering career and I feel like I am at a place where the sky is the limit. School is behind me, I found a company that�s a great fit, where I�m learning at an exponential rate, and I believe that in a few years I will be a fully blown Professional Engineer, and I�ll do whatever I need to to get there.

She however, has not followed through on anything she told me she wanted out of life since we first met. She said she wanted to become a nurse, but never even looked at nursing schools in our area. She said she wanted to be a librarian or teacher, but never once applied for a position with the school district. She works about 6 hours a week as a personal caregiver and the rest of her income is tips from the failing sports bar down the road.

These (and many others) were all just things that housed themselves at the back of my mind that I knew would be big problems if we shot for long term, but I just never addressed them. In a way, she made it easier for me to leave this relationship that just was not a good fit, all things considered, and I mean that even if she wasn�t a cheater.

Biggest thing I�ve learned through all of this: Trust. Your goddamn. Gut.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 09:38

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Lucrece posted:

UPDTATE - My (24 M) girlfriend (22 F) had a guy friend sleep over at her place and I walked in on it.

I�m shocked!

# ? Dec 1, 2019 10:04

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Truly, an unforeseen turn of events

# ? Dec 1, 2019 10:06

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

yeah waht a surprise

man people live in the weirdest relationships

# ? Dec 1, 2019 10:14

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Knobb Manwich posted:

It's just not cricket.

I actually do use this expression every day (and am English. Well, Yorkshire, the best bit of England).

# ? Dec 1, 2019 10:18

Barudak: May 7, 2007

The end of that post is great because all of the sudden the dude reveals the house is built on a red flag burial ground

# ? Dec 1, 2019 10:21

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

monkeytennis posted:

I actually do use this expression every day (and am English. Well, Yorkshire, the best bit of England).

You're saying that every single day, you see something that's just not cricket?

# ? Dec 1, 2019 10:23

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I remember that expression coming from arguments over variant rulesets for cricket where matches don't take an entire week to resolve.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 10:25

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

my favorite thing to do is teach my EFL students outdated slang. that's the cat's pajamas, so's your uncle, its like an abbot and costello routine in polish accents. i am a monster and deserve to be rendered into whale oil.

That's loving awesome.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 10:28

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

my favorite thing to do is teach my EFL students outdated slang. that's the cat's pajamas, so's your uncle, its like an abbot and costello routine in polish accents. i am a monster and deserve to be rendered into whale oil.

The other day I had to explain to an Indian guy why you can be called a twat affectionately, but not a nonce.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 11:07

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

monkeytennis posted:

Yorkshire, t'best bit of England.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 11:19

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Leon Einstein posted:

So did you.

Nice catch

# ? Dec 1, 2019 11:26

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Cowslips Warren posted:

My drug addict brother joined the Army after 9/11. Not because he wanted to or felt it was a good thing to do, because it was either that or he'd be stuck with his addict friends across the country. So he came home, hosed around for a while, and finally went into the Army. He was stationed in Germany for a few years, never left the drat base. Never learned a word of German. Decided he wanted out, so he stood on a chair in his room, with a noose around his neck, waiting for his roommate to come back. This happened twice. He was offered treatment and all kinds of therapy, and he refused. Ended up leaving with a dishonorable discharge for something, and came back to the USA. Doesn't stop him from telling people he's a veteran and joined after 9/11 because it was the American Thing To Do.

That fuckin sucks.

Guys like that probably have such lovely lives I just figure the effort of calling them out wouldn't really be worth it.

goethe.cx posted:

don't respond to known trumpist chud spacetoaster

Like this shithead.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 15:16

iustorum_anime: Apr 4, 2016

My [32F] husband [32M] is bothered by my ongoing non-reaction to death (my brother, 2 years ago, and most recently a cousin)

quote:

My brother died nearly two years ago in a car accident. He was a good brother and we had a good relationship � went on camping trips once every couple of years, caught up at least monthly, etc. I do wish he was still around, but I wasn�t very negatively affected by his death. I don�t know why. At first I thought it was shock, so tried my best to emulate the grief everyone else was experiencing, but didn�t do a very good job. My family put it down to me just being �stoic� and the rock of the family. Almost two years have passed and I still don�t feel terribly much about it � maybe the same sadness with which you�d miss a favourite co-worker at an old job. My feelings can be summarised as, �That sucks.� As horrible as it sounds, the first Christmas he was gone, when I was out shopping I even felt a little relief that there was one present less that I needed to think about.

In the first few months my husband would try to comfort me and I�d shrug it off because, honestly, I didn�t need it. He adopted the, �Well, I�m here when you need me� approach, but I never did end up needing that comfort. I know he was a little weirded out by it but in a few conversations has said that people grieve in different ways. I don�t think I would call this grief, but it seemed to make him feel better.

My cousin [41F] died three weeks ago of a sudden heart attack. It was totally unexpected as she was a very health-conscious person. While we weren�t as close as my brother and I, we were still close and involved in each other�s lives � I�d take the kids a couple times a year, we�ve gone on cruises together, always attended each other�s big events. I was definitely taken aback, but my first clear thought when I received the news was concern about whether or not I�d be expected to help with the funeral. Again, that sucks, and I feel for her partner and their kids, but it�s more of a distanced, �That sucks, but I hope this doesn�t take up too much of my time�.

When I expressed (a gentler version of this) to my husband, he was aghast. I think he�s put two-and-two together from my brother's passing and has finally realised that I really do mean it when I act not especially bothered. He asked me if I�d be at least be upset if he died. I of course told him yes, but I honestly am not very sure � past patterns would indicate maybe not � and I think he read that on my face. He's withdrawn and has been limiting contact with me for a few days now. Conversation has been forced and he hasn't tried to kiss me or display any kind of warmth towards me.

I�m not sure how to deal with this. I think my strategy might be to go to a grief counsellor, and then if they can�t dig something up (which I�m sure they won�t, and would I even want them to if they could?) then act as though they�ve uncovered something and put some effort into faking my grief. At the very least, it�ll give my husband peace of mind.

Any advice would be very appreciated.

tl;dr: Death of loved ones doesn't make me very sad, husband doesn't like this.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:06

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

man I wish I was that at ease with death, husband is a real chump for not appreciating his unflappable wife

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:11

empty sea: Jul 17, 2011; gonna saddle my seahorse and float out to the sunset

Cold-bloooded.

But eh, if she's really that unbothered yeah he is right to be upset because hey, she could at least make an effort to act like she'll be sad when he passes. It's just polite ffs, he's not going to know she's lying when the time comes because he'll be dead.

But at the same time maybe she should go to that therapist and make sure she's not headed for a cat 5 freakout one day. While I was very devastated by my best friend's death at the time, I still had lots of later moments where I broke down. Even if this lady doesn't seem to be sad now, there's no telling if or when she might break down and completely lose it because she's bottled it up this long.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:28

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

chemtrail huffer posted:

My [32F] husband [32M] is bothered by my ongoing non-reaction to death (my brother, 2 years ago, and most recently a cousin)

Don't marry lizardfolk if you're put off by their survival-oriented practicality.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:36

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Thats the kind of woman who when negotiating with the people who have taken her children hostage calls them idiots because she has the instrument to make more.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:41

Tomfoolery: Oct 8, 2004

chemtrail huffer posted:

My [32F] husband [32M] is bothered by my ongoing non-reaction to death (my brother, 2 years ago, and most recently a cousin)

My advice is that she kills one of her closest relatives, then pretends to grieve to put her husband at ease

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:44

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

chemtrail huffer posted:

My [32F] husband [32M] is bothered by my ongoing non-reaction to death (my brother, 2 years ago, and most recently a cousin)

I think a lot of pessimists or pragmatists are more relatable to her than they're willing to admit, I know at funerals I just fake it when in reality I just dgaf

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:45

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

empty sea posted:

Cold-bloooded.

But eh, if she's really that unbothered yeah he is right to be upset because hey, she could at least make an effort to act like she'll be sad when he passes. It's just polite ffs, he's not going to know she's lying when the time comes because he'll be dead.

But at the same time maybe she should go to that therapist and make sure she's not headed for a cat 5 freakout one day. While I was very devastated by my best friend's death at the time, I still had lots of later moments where I broke down. Even if this lady doesn't seem to be sad now, there's no telling if or when she might break down and completely lose it because she's bottled it up this long.

Yeah I can see why she's hesitant because if something does get unbottled she's in for a, uh, unpleasant time, but... she really should get that looked at.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:45

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Beachcomber posted:

Slang only exists to define an in-group and exclude everyone else.

nerd alert

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:53

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Or it could just be that her natural reaction is...not to experience much grief? There's a large performative element to grief that people expect, but not everyone experiences, and people talk a big game that others should have the room to grieve as needed - but what if that looks like....not grieving?

There may not be any deep dark secret, she just may be able to move on from things quickly and that's just how she is.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:54

Puppy Time: Mar 1, 2005

empty sea posted:

Cold-bloooded.

But eh, if she's really that unbothered yeah he is right to be upset because hey, she could at least make an effort to act like she'll be sad when he passes. It's just polite ffs, he's not going to know she's lying when the time comes because he'll be dead.

I mean, she did make an effort, she's just apparently bad at lying.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 16:59

Entorwellian: Jun 30, 2006; ~~Northern Flicker~~
Anna's Hummingbird

Sorry, but the people have spoken.

Maybe she has antisocial personality disorder and gives absolutely no fucks?

She�d make a good CEO.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 17:01

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

as long as she's not an actual sociopath and actually likes and cares about the people in her life, I don't see what the problem is with her being unfazed by death. it's probably the more adaptive reaction anyways

# ? Dec 1, 2019 17:02

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# ? May 30, 2024 10:11

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Or it could just be that her natural reaction is...not to experience much grief? There's a large performative element to grief that people expect, but not everyone experiences, and people talk a big game that others should have the room to grieve as needed - but what if that looks like....not grieving?

There may not be any deep dark secret, she just may be able to move on from things quickly and that's just how she is.

Oh, I completely agree. That's why I think it's a good idea to see a grief therapist, because they'll hopefully be in a position to figure that out. If she just isn't incapacitated by grief, that's fine, if she's carrying around an emotional time bomb, the logical thing is to learn about it to safely deal with it. None of us can say with any certainty what's up with her.

# ? Dec 1, 2019 17:02

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