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Older sister has something most of the people in these stories never have, a solid backbone. That's why she isn't the one posting on Reddit. Like another poster said, it's very refreshing.
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Dec 6, 2019 13:14
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Mr. Lobe posted:The story says they never really defended or supported her. Sounds like she decided they weren't worth the trouble anymore. I respect anyone who's willing to cut out hard like that. ...The story doesn't actually say that? It says the older sister thinks that about her direct siblings (who disagree), but doesn't say anything about the cousins on the mother's side who presumably wouldn't have much, if any contact with the cousins on the father's side. It really just reads like the older sister decided to go full scorched earth and arbitrarily cut everyone out of her life.
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Dec 6, 2019 13:23
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Acebuckeye13 posted:...The story doesn't actually say that? It says the older sister thinks that about her direct siblings (who disagree), but doesn't say anything about the cousins on the mother's side who presumably wouldn't have much, if any contact with the cousins on the father's side. It really just reads like the older sister decided to go full scorched earth and arbitrarily cut everyone out of her life. Frankly it's her prerogative, OP's sister's been bankrolling their kids' education for how many years? And basically doing so while getting nothing in return except cousins constantly picking at old wounds. This was just the straw that broke the camel's back. And it just so happens that said camel was the only millionaire in the family. They care about her half-brothers, who the older sister despises, and they care about the older sister's money, but do they really care about the older sister? Apparently in the comment threads on reddit the OP has had to defend her sister in conversations with her cousins in the past. It's her money, they only interact with her because they want it. Runa fucked around with this message at 13:30 on Dec 6, 2019 |
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Dec 6, 2019 13:27
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Acebuckeye13 posted:...The story doesn't actually say that? It says the older sister thinks that about her direct siblings (who disagree), but doesn't say anything about the cousins on the mother's side who presumably wouldn't have much, if any contact with the cousins on the father's side. It really just reads like the older sister decided to go full scorched earth and arbitrarily cut everyone out of her life. I am referring to this: quote:My mum's side of the family she doesn't particularly like either because she said they never supported her or my mum when my dad was being an rear end in a top hat just so they could stay married but she doesn't actively dislike them. Maybe the cousins were born after that period of no support, but she is under no obligation to anyone on her mom's side of the family, including her cousins. She decided she doesn't want to deal with them after one of them gave her trouble. She is well within her rights to do so.
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Dec 6, 2019 13:29
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^ ah, missed that part Xarbala posted:Frankly it's her prerogative, she's been bankrolling their kids' education for how many years? And basically doing so while getting nothing in return except cousins constantly picking at old wounds. This was just the straw that broke the camel's back. And it just so happens that said camel was the only millionaire in the family. Sure, it's her money, she can do what she wants with it. Still a dick move to cut off everyone imo (especially the cousins on the mother's side who had nothing to do with said old wounds)
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Dec 6, 2019 13:33
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I refuse to believe the cousins are dumb enough to think that the reconciliation would stop at the step siblings and wouldn't just lead to more whining about how she should forgive the dad
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Dec 6, 2019 13:37
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I believe it. I have some *really goddamn stupid* cousins, it's not a stretch at all to imagine them trying that poo poo.
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Dec 6, 2019 13:46
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has anyone said tubbygurgle?
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Dec 6, 2019 14:19
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fins posted:has anyone said tubbygurglini?
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Dec 6, 2019 14:24
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Kenshin posted:My fiancé (27M) thinks I (19F) am actually 24. How do I fix my mistake and tell him the truth without losing him? "Hey dear, I really need to tell you something..." "Sure, what is it?" "So, technically, you're a statutory rapist."
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Dec 6, 2019 14:29
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fins posted:has anyone said tubbygurgle? I think tubbygurgle is UK English for tubgirl
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Dec 6, 2019 14:32
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I love how the entire extended family can't grasp why the woman doesn't want to try to get along with the new family her dad started when he abandoned her solely because she's a woman.
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Dec 6, 2019 14:48
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That older sister is Petra. I love it and her. "Please keep bankrolling our lifestyles and take care of our kids and in the interest of family, can you also pay for your dad and the children he left you for?"
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Dec 6, 2019 14:51
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AITA for being upset with my sister for trying to schedule her wedding in the same year as mine?quote:(Throwaway account) Some background: I'm 23. I've been with my BF for almost 3 years and we're planning to get married in Summer 2021. I announced this to my family several months ago. My sister is 21 and has been with her BF for ~1.5 years. A couple weeks ago she dropped the bomb that she and her BF were also planning to get married in the next "year or two."
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Dec 6, 2019 15:07
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Serephina posted:My [25F] sister [43F] refuses to have anything to with our half siblings [22M and 22M] and it's causing friction I feel like this also should have been bolded because lmao holy poo poo the balls on that dad
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Dec 6, 2019 15:07
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Pinecone Sample posted:AITA for being upset with my sister for trying to schedule her wedding in the same year as mine? haha "so what just LET IT HAPPEN???"
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Dec 6, 2019 15:08
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rodbeard posted:I love how the entire extended family can't grasp why the woman doesn't want to try to get along with the new family her dad started when he abandoned her solely because she's a woman. And dismissing all the abuse she suffered. How many times does the OP say, "My sister says her dad treated her and her mother like crap and physically abused her, but I was young and didn't see it. I don't see why it's such a big deal." Sounds like she was pushed and pushed and pushed by everyone for literally decades and finally decided, gently caress it, to hell with all of you. And good for her. Tjadeth posted:I feel like this also should have been bolded because lmao holy poo poo the balls on that dad Yeah, it really adds weight to the whole "my dad is a misogynistic piece of poo poo" narrative the younger daughter is trying so hard to ignore. Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 15:18 on Dec 6, 2019 |
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Dec 6, 2019 15:14
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Older sister is now in the Pete and Petra Hall of Fame.
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Dec 6, 2019 16:03
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Tater Love 
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"The family piggy bank set one boundary, and we've pushed and schemed and refused to respect it for years. Oh my god! We shake and shake and nothing comes out of the piggy bank anymore! How could this happen?!"
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Dec 6, 2019 16:36
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I will say it's not unusual for OP to not process what her sister has been through as a kid. I don't think dad has improved as a person at all but he got a shiny new family to dominate and two shiny new sons and wasn't left responsible for OP for long periods of time, and lots of times kids are inclined to think the best of their parents, so it's pretty easy for him to downplay everything her older sister is telling her. However, OP is 25. Not a kid anymore. I hope the comments are telling her to put on her critical thinking cap and apologize to her older sister.
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Dec 6, 2019 16:39
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Yeah, even ignoring everything related to the older sister, this is pretty telling.quote:He wasn't an amazing dad by any means but I did see him on weekends and stuff and he turned up to a few of my school things but isn't great with stuff like birthdays and he missed my high school graduation because he forgot. But he did take us on a few holidays with my half brothers and we kind of talk and meeting up once every couple of months.
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Dec 6, 2019 16:47
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Pinecone Sample posted:AITA for being upset with my sister for trying to schedule her wedding in the same year as mine? lol sister hasn't even been proposed to yet probably will be fine
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Dec 6, 2019 16:52
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Acebuckeye13 posted:It really just reads like the older sister decided to go full scorched earth and arbitrarily cut everyone out of her life. It reads like that because it's not written by the person in question. I think even a conservative reading between the lines belies a lot more than the OP is telling. I get the strong impression they've been pushing this woman on dumb poo poo for years and that the main reason they're all so conveniently concerned is because of her money.
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Dec 6, 2019 17:03
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Serephina posted:My [25F] sister [43F] refuses to have anything to with our half siblings [22M and 22M] and it's causing friction Oh gently caress off with this, half siblings and sister. No one has an obligation to get to know you or pretend to be a happy family just to fulfill your fantasies. The father shattered the family apart, then tried to cover it over as quickly as possible and just move on, without actually reconciling or making any amends. Just skipped right to 'We're all just a big happy family!'. Petra saw through that poo poo from a mile a way. There's just this big, open wound in from the shattering that everyone is trying to ignore, and forcing poo poo into the wound isn't making it better, it's making it go septic.
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Dec 6, 2019 17:04
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Also lol @ the watershed moment that turned people against her being "she didn't accept a forced drop off of children she was expected to babysit despite repeated protests".
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Dec 6, 2019 17:08
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Serephina posted:My [25F] sister [43F] refuses to have anything to with our half siblings [22M and 22M] and it's causing friction How to navigate this: Lol, less for them, more for me. *Kazoo solo*
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Dec 6, 2019 17:17
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FINAL UPDATE : I (26M) found out my fiance (27F) possibly gave a stripper a handjob at her bachelorette party /r/all **3rd and most likely last update. Original update here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/e35vj6/i_26m_found_out_my_fiance_27f_possibly_gave_a/ I deleted the original post, but put a recap in the original update. It's been 10 days since I received the call that ended this relationship. I'm almost back to normal, although I can't quite shake a bit of malaise. Thankfully I had a few days worth of PTO to burn while I worked past this crap. I already scheduled my 2 weeks vacation this year for the wedding, but since it's canceled I'll just spend it with the family and have a very extended Christmas with them. Outside of a few texts from Jane to my mother when things first blew up and her mother calling the next day after I talked to Janes stepfather, I haven't heard a peep from their clan since. Janes mom tried to act as a mediator between us, but I shut that poo poo down and told her it's not possible. She can be a bit pushy, but thankfully she realized it wasn't wise to push this time. I finally got to talk to the bridesmaid who's husband called me. She didn't offer any more details and I didn't care to ask for any more by the time I talked to her. She just called me when she felt comfortable enough to wish me well and tell me she was sorry for what happened. She's a very nice lady and I feel bad for her because she works with quite a few of those women, and I don't envy how they are going to treat her at work. I asked her and thankfully none of them have any managerial authority over her, but it still sucks to ostracized. As far as any of the other women, I haven't heard a thing, and my cousin has done a vanishing act. My mom took care of cancelling all the wedding invitations as she was the one who helped send them all out. I asked her to just tell everyone that Jane and I had a change of heart about getting married and decided to put things off for the time being. Frankly I'm loving embarrassed about what happened and don't really want to be known among family and friends and people in town as that guy who's ex-fiance jacked off and possibly screwed a stripper right before their wedding. I'm sure it will eventually get around, but if I let it fade like this it will be more of a crazy rumor than confirmed fact for most people. I really just want to walk away with as little drama as possible and move on with my life. I've asked my mother to text Janes mom to get the engagement ring back. Hopefully she won't give me any trouble as they were expensive and buddy of mine is willing to buy the ring set for exactly what I paid for them for his wedding in a few months. I told him he'd better not tell his girlfriend where he got them just in case she's worried my ex was wearing the ring when she was handling stripper guys joystick. I lost thousands in deposits for the venue, DJ, florist, catering, security, plane tickets, honeymoon suite, etc etc etc... I'm hoping I can recoup a little money by selling the rings. Anyway, I've decided to stay away from LTR's for an indefinite amount of time. This experience has made me very gun shy about "love" and relationships and all that mess. People have sent me all kinds of of encouraging messages claiming I'll eventually find "the one". I'm doing my best not to be overly pessimistic, but when looking at the divorce rates and all the crazy conflicts between men and women these days, I'm starting to think the chances for anyone to do that are getting lower with each passing year. And I'm not the kind of guy who gets over stuff like this by running out and dating some other woman to sport hump right afterwards. So I think I'll just stay single for now, and focus on my passions and work. Anyway, thanks to everyone who gave encouragement. If anyone else goes through something heartbreaking like this, I highly recommend you you stay with family and or close friends you have a good relationship with. I can't overstate how much this helped, especially if you are a guy. Men don't really maintain a circle of support for stuff like this, like many women do, and you can find yourself isolated and descending further into a bad place without positive reinforcement around you. I was able to lay on my childhood bed, in my childhood room, in my childhood home surrounded by good memories, having my mom come in and bring me tea and food and say sweet encouraging things about how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. I was able to poo poo talk with my dad and brothers to distract myself. It helped a lot. Best of luck everyone. Thanks.
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Dec 6, 2019 17:19
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QuarkJets posted:Silence, wench! Get thine indecency off of yonder balcony, nearly your entire ankles art exposed! He should police her dressing less and her smoking more.
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Dec 6, 2019 17:22
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Pinecone Sample posted:I think tubbygurgle is UK English for tubgirl Nah, that's bathbird. Tubbygurgle is UK English for Boris Johnson.
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Dec 6, 2019 17:51
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Dienes posted:Good for him. I would have told people exactly and explicitly why the wedding was canceled, so he's a better person than me. I think he's just been spouting some really negative things about relationships and perhaps about women (definitely a very strong focus on man vs woman in that post, he even mentioned that as a reason to not date anymore) so I'm guessing the people saying that are trying to keep him from overreacting to an admittedly traumatic experience with relationships. mllaneza posted:Vow of silence dude could get a job in IT. Hell, some of my best days at work involved no human interaction beyond email or some sort of chat/IM. The only trick would be the interview, and HR would probably have someone from Legal sitting in on the interview because there's a great potential for a really interesting lawsuit. I would think that a Vow of Silence would need to include all communication, not just speaking out loud? Otherwise terminal nerds and shut-ins would just take similar vows and spend all their time communicating online, accomplishing nothing of what is intended. Seems like you're rules-lawyering God a little bit there, I don't know PHIZ KALIFA posted:this is something way, way more widespread than people like to talk about. this sounds ominous.... out of all the girls I've dated not one has expressed interest in something like this, and none of my guy or girl friends have ever mentioned anything of the sort. I guess I believe it could be a bit of a secret fascination among women but actually grabbing your dick while you pee I haven't seen Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for disinviting my father and his family from my wedding, weeks after he already the got the invite because of a human error made by my cousin? You know what I'm wondering? If her younger brother's fetus was identified before birth as defective, which would've helped to bring about the split between the parents. Dad was also cheating though so that obscures the issue, but I wonder if there's a connection between the requested abortion and the child dying at 3. luxury handset posted:boss makes a dollar / i time my poo  this didn't get near enough loveSerephina posted:I (21m) am blind. How can I make my new girlfriend (19f) feel beautiful I hope everyone told this kid that the positive things he's already noticed about his girlfriend are way sweeter and more intimate than some crass comment on her physical appearance Lucrece posted:I’m[F26] monogamous, but I’m considering trying poly for the person[M26] I love. "his suspicion that he's polyamorous" lmao, as if it's something he's been his whole life and not a result of wanting to gently caress other people but also keep his ex girlfriend around as bangmaid Chomp8645 posted:Eh, he's 22. He's still inside Normal Shithead Redemption Range. That's... pretty loving generous man. It's never acceptable, but maybe I'd assume the person just didn't know any better if they were like 15. Not 22, most people are graduated from college at that age
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Dec 6, 2019 17:53
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Yeah, one of the many gross things about poly lifestyle people is that they try to co-opt the language of LGBTQ people and act like being unwilling to remain faithful to a partner is a sexual orientation.
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Dec 6, 2019 18:00
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Play posted:That's... pretty loving generous man. It's never acceptable, but maybe I'd assume the person just didn't know any better if they were like 15. Not 22, most people are graduated from college at that age Eh, I mean you can draw your own line wherever you want. I'm just saying I've known a fair number of people who were poo poo heads at 22 but matured into decent adults. I think the mid 20's is the general marker for "pull up or be forever lost". Hopefully this ordeal will be a wakeup call for him.
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Dec 6, 2019 18:04
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therobit posted:Yeah, one of the many gross things about poly lifestyle people is that they try to co-opt the language of LGBTQ people and act like being unwilling to remain faithful to a partner is a sexual orientation. That kind of thing seems to be expanding. Don't go on Tumblr. There are like a million ways straight cis people nitpick sexuality until they can claim marginalization.
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Dec 6, 2019 18:06
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PostNouveau posted:That kind of thing seems to be expanding. Don't go on Tumblr. There are like a million ways straight cis people nitpick sexuality until they can claim marginalization.
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Dec 6, 2019 18:10
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i know a couple of cishet poly couples but they're both of the "young and trying to reconcile monogamy with being horny and wandering" variety for some homegrown drama, the wife in one of these couples wanted me/my wife to watch their toddler overnight so she could have her boyfriend over while the husband was out of town for work. the complicating factor here is that the toddler was sick and feeling poorly. we refused the day of the sleepover once it was clear how sick the toddler was (not seriously, but enough to where the kid was better off at home with momma) and it caused a small drama bomb
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Dec 6, 2019 18:17
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PetraCore posted:Every poly person I know is some flavor of lgbt. I was thinking outside of poly like those people who are like "I can only have sexual relationships with someone I'm romantically attracted to. I am an oppressed minority." Or, like, furries.
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Dec 6, 2019 18:20
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luxury handset posted:i know a couple of cishet poly couples but they're both of the "young and trying to reconcile monogamy with being horny and wandering" variety How dare you get in the way of a woman who wanted to gently caress over comforting her sick child.
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Dec 6, 2019 18:20
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oh she still had the boyfriend over i believe, there was just a sick toddler there as well i didn't feel too bad about it because if the boyfriend can come over and chill with a coughing weepy kid in the other room then he's a champ. let's see how committed this guy is
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Dec 6, 2019 18:24
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PostNouveau posted:I was thinking outside of poly like those people who are like "I can only have sexual relationships with someone I'm romantically attracted to. I am an oppressed minority." Anyway I get super annoyed with people claiming 'I'm [x] which is just like being lgbt', it's just that reasonable annoyance also seems to become ammo against everyone who is [x].
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Dec 6, 2019 18:31
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Serephina posted:My [25F] sister [43F] refuses to have anything to with our half siblings [22M and 22M] and it's causing friction Your sister loving owns and you should believe her because she has the strongest sense of self of anyone in your shithouse family.
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Dec 6, 2019 18:32
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