Pirate Radar posted:

Legality of banning the use of the phrase « y’all » in the workplace

quote:

u/Legalques01284d
Long story short, my friend wants to go to law school but has no experience. He asked if he could be my power of attorney to get some experience and I agreed because I wanted to help him out. But I’m not happy with what he’s doing and I can’t figure out how to make him stop.

When we were out for drinks with friends one time, he saw the debit card that I was using and said it was a bad bank. Next thing I know, I’m trying to use the card and it’s not working. Turns out he pulled all my money out, closed the account and opened a new one with a different bank plus a credit card with the bank. When he gave me the new cards I explained that I liked the old bank because they have branches in my home state I can use when I go home for summer from school. The new bank doesn’t. I also really don’t believe in credit cards and never wanted one (I have enough student loan debt anyway). But he said this bank was better and credit cards make more sense and he was doing me a favor.

He also requested all my medical records from the student health center and let it slip in front of friends that I’m taking an antidepressant. A girl I like in our group doesn’t believe in them and now she’s not really talking to me anymore.

I’ve brought up to him that I’m kind of not happy with this arrangement but he said he needs the poa for a few more months to show his law school applications that he has relevant experience, especially if her can’t get a legal job this summer between our junior and senior years.

I’m having car trouble and he keeps trying to involve himself in the repair process and bully the mechanic and it makes me super uncomfortable but I don’t want to hurt his chances at law school.

I’m in California.

quote:

I was hanging out with my friend at a party this weekend where he was talking about his law school applications and I remembered this post and thought I should do an update.

About a week after my original post I talked with my friend and said I appreciated all his help but it was getting to be a hassle and I’d prefer to manage my own stuff from here on out. He was disappointed but understood.

All in all it was a mixed experience. There were some positives: he was more aggressive negotiating with the mechanic than I would have liked but in the end the mechanic knocked $200 off the bill. Also, I’ve come around to like the credit card he opened for me. I’m going to be able to use the points to get a free flight home next semester.

There were some negatives too. He discovered that two of the classes I needed to graduate were being offered at the near by community college this semester so he signed me up to try and save me some money. But when he requested that my current school send transcripts to the community college, that almost made me lose a scholarship with my actual school. I had to basically beg and plead with the financial aid office but in the end it all worked out. Also, that girl I liked who found out I’m on anti-depressants tried to cause some drama in our friend group about me. But I’m over it now.

People were pretty critical in the previous post and kept saying I was being scammed but that’s not at all what happened. He just needed some experience to put on his applications. Also, lots of people said this wouldn’t help with law schools but I’m not pre-law so I don’t know one way or another. I signed a letter of reference for him because I’m not going to stand in the way of his dreams and on the whole, he helped by being my power of attorney.

Pirate Radar posted:

We saw the original here a while back but there’s an update now

I gave my friend POA and now I want it back but he’s making it difficult


Update

Pirate Radar posted:

We saw the original here a while back but there’s an update now

I gave my friend POA and now I want it back but he’s making it difficult


Update

SalTheBard posted:

From like a million pages ago but reminded me of this:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/10/menace.html

Pirate Radar posted:

Legality of banning the use of the phrase « y’all » in the workplace

Pirate Radar posted:

Legality of banning the use of the phrase « y’all » in the workplace

Pirate Radar posted:

Legality of banning the use of the phrase « y’all » in the workplace

1redflag posted:

Lmao. I always wonder how people run these insane harebrained schemes on people, then I realize they just find complete idiots who will fall for anything.

quote:

I [23M] know a girl [23F] who I met about a year ago (who already has a boyfriend, [25M]) who told me she needed to get something off her chest really, really badly and so we met up to talk about it.

She started with nervous laughter and said she's "afraid I'll judge her" but she decides to tell me anyway... "She didn't think this would happen" but [her (33M) coworker] after taking her out for dinner for the Nth time (just the two of them, apparently she was just trying to be friendly since she could tell he had nothing to do in our small suburban town, ok true fair enough), later that evening he asked if she wanted to follow him up to his apartment (another coworker she knows lives there, she thought maybe they'll watch TV together for a bit). She thought [33M coworker] was just being a good friend because he was on a temporary work visa from another country and he already has a wife and kids but all of a sudden ("!!") as soon as both of them realized that the other coworker living there was already dead cold asleep, [33M coworker] took her into his arms and gave her a kiss. I don't know how long the kiss was (I didn't ask) but she did say that he made contact. She says she didn't expect that because he was married with kids and she said she was talking him out of it afterwards and saying this is wrong, but she also told me all about how [33M coworker] kept telling her how much he liked her and wanted to leave his wife and kids for her, so it's obvious she didn't leave the apartment for a while after they kissed the first time, since apparently he went into some monologue. Anyway all this setup is to ask my question:

How easy is it for a girl to let someone she doesn't think of in that way to kiss her?? Can't you just block it with your hand or turn away? As a guy obviously I haven't been in quite the same situation so I'm trying to understand but it's really hard to wrap my head around. I would not let someone kiss me on the lips so easily if I did not like them like that. She says she would still be interested in meeting him as a friend. Isn't that a red flag too? Yo, what. He kissed you. As a married man. He's trying to get in your pants and you still want to see him..? You have a boyfriend... (though she tells me and her other friends all the time she wants to break up with him (though she hasn't for YEARS at this point))

I know some people reading are almost as clueless as I am when it comes to reading between the lines so let me spell it out: I like her, too. I suppose I have a jealous bone in my body because [33M coworker] did something I didn't have the balls to do (mostly because I was completely clueless to how she felt about me and didn't want to take chances, also she has a boyfriend who I respect, he's a really good guy and I would hate to do that to him). [33M coworker] exudes confidence and obviously girls are into that, but I wanna know if it's obvious to others how she's feeling, cause again, I'm clueless.

Why did she say she was afraid I'll judge her? When I was talking to her that day I told her that it's not her fault, and it's [33M coworker]'s fault because it IS wrong that a married man would do that, but after I mulled it over a couple days I realized, hol'up one fuckin' minute. Was she afraid I'll judge her because secretly deep down, she liked it? Is that why she needed to get it off her chest? Am I overthinking this?

If she's the type of person who would let that happen to her I don't want to pursue her anymore. (She has a boyfriend but likes playing around with another married man? No thanks) But if I'm overthinking it I want to keep in touch with her because she really is smart, friendly, and brings out the best in me at times.

During the time I mulled it over I realize now she most likely spent so much time with me because she likes me too and was just waiting/hoping for me to make a move on her, but I never did so she's been ghosting me for about a week now and I'm going crazy just thinking about it all by myself. I'm mostly mad at myself because I respect [33M coworker]'s confidence because if I had an ounce of that confidence I feel like I wouldn't have missed so many signs all throughout my life and I would have had much more success in my sex/dating life. But anyway, that's besides the point. I'm just wondering if it's obvious to any of you whether she put any effort into stopping herself from getting kissed, and whether or not it's safe enough to read between the lines and conclude whether or not she was secretly into it. Any input you have is much appreciated.

tl;dr: A married man kissed a girl I like on the lips and I'm wondering how easy she let him have it, cause I'm a jealous dude who wants to know how something like this happens.

LadyPictureShow posted:

Is it common/easy for a guy to actually make lip contact when going in for a kiss if the girl doesn't even like the guy?

LadyPictureShow posted:

Is it common/easy for a guy to actually make lip contact when going in for a kiss if the girl doesn't even like the guy?

Barudak posted:

From the thread title I thought we were going somewhere dark and Id need to do some moderating but instead were going somewhere unfathomably stupid.

Kitchner posted:

Her manager should enforce the dress code because regardless of whether they personally agree with it or not it's a company policy which isn't illegal or discriminatory, and it's their job as a manager to enforce the rules fairly and equally in regards to all employees.

Personally I don't really judge how good employees are at their jobs by their appearance, and it doesn't even sound like she's in a client facing role, so the issue isn't she's meeting clients dressed "inappropriately" it's literally just they are making comments as they walk through the building.

That all being said, when it comes to business to business deals individual agreements can make or break businesses. If they were a major client for example, losing their business could mean you are going to need to fire a bunch of people. It's very nice and all to say "well I wouldn't want their business if they are an arsehole" but personally I wouldn't be putting the survival of the company and everyone else's jobs on the line for someone's "right" to wear nose piercings to the office and wear tops shown her midriff.

So the manager should enforce the dress code because it's their job to do so. If the employee doesn't like it they should leave, and find a company who can/will value talent over adhering to old fashioned attitudes of professionalism.


Sure, she doesn't accept those restrictions, and that needs to be balanced against the likelihood and impact of her losing her job, because she isn't adhering to company rules.

I don't think she's an arsehole for wanting to wear what she wants to work, nor do I think she's an arsehole for not immediately quitting. I also don't think anyone trying to enforce the company dress code is an arsehole (though I do think the OP is the arsehole for reporting someone and then trying to plead they didn't want them to be fired if they didn't change, just be loving honest dude).

However, if the woman in the story had come to me for advice I'd have told her it's a bit lovely from the company to only now enforce it (which wouldn't be an issue if all managers enforced it all the time), but very few people get a job that gives them everything they want, and if dressing a certain way to work is so important to her she is willing to risk getting fired over it, maybe she should find a job that let's her dress like that.

LadyPictureShow posted:

Is it common/easy for a guy to actually make lip contact when going in for a kiss if the girl doesn't even like the guy?

quote:

tl;dr: A married man kissed a girl I like on the lips and I'm wondering how easy she let him have it, cause I'm a jealous dude who wants to know how something like this happens.

Admiral Ray posted:

Her concerns are trash. But like actual garbage, they must be recognized and dealt with, otherwise the garbage dump that is her young mind will quickly overflow with heavy metals and decaying rodents, resulting in anxiety and misplaced terror. The appropriate course of action is to be honest with her: Her fears are real, and they are stupid.

Grumio posted:

Another Poly success story

Grumio posted:

Another Poly success story

Grumio posted:

Another Poly success story

LadyPictureShow posted:

Post the body of the story you coward!

(I read an article about it; poo poo's wild)

quote:

A polyamorous woman has fallen pregnant by one of her four partners after they went away together - but says they will raise the baby as a 'family'.

Tory Ojeda, 20, from Jacksonville, Florida, met one of her partners Marc, 18, in high school and then started a relationship with Travis, 23, two months later.

Their love story began three years ago and she has since announced her engagement to Travis in July.

She also found love with their long-term mutual friends Ethan, 22, and Christopher, 22. While seven months ago, Tory and Chris found out that they were pregnant with a baby girl.

Despite being in an open relationship, Tory is currently the only one who has multiple romantic partners.

However she says that her boyfriends are 'welcome' to pursue other people if they wish to - she even encourages the idea. Tory said: 'Honestly, I would love it if somebody found a second partner.

'Dividing time and figuring out schedules between all five people and making sure everyone feels included, it's kind of difficult.

'I'd like to not be the only woman in the relationship. That would definitely be nice.'

They all have their own bedrooms but her partners 'swap in and out' of her bed each night, making sure each of them gets an 'equal turn' in spending the night with Tory.

On the issue of jealousy, Ethan said: 'There are a couple of healthy ways to deal with it. Primarily just talking to each other.'

Travis added: 'There's always going to be like little moments of jealousy, it does take a certain amount of restraint and just getting relaxed. I will say it helps if you know the person.'

Reflecting on his own experiences in his current relationship, he said: 'Seeing [Tory] with Ethan was a lot easier because I was friends with him.

'Her and Chris was a bit dicier at first, there was a lot more jealousy and I'll openly admit that. The same goes for Marc because I'd never interacted with them.'

Seven months ago, Tory found out that she was pregnant with a baby girl who they will welcome into their unconventional family in February.

'Chris is the biological father. We just know that because of timing and when the approximate conception date was,' Tory explained.

'Based off of the approximate conception day, we had been on vacation. So it was only us.

'But as far as I guess, socially goes, we're all raising the baby together, so everyone's dad.

'We're all very, very excited to be raising a baby together.'

When asked how he feels about sharing the responsibilities of being a father, Christopher said: 'It's definitely a little interesting.

'I grew up with the idea of you know, one dad, one mum. But there is a lot of support between all of us dads and it's something we can tag team.

'We always joke about the idea of getting stack in an endless loop of go ask your dad.'

Despite Tory and then men's enthusiasm to raise a child as a five, some members of their respective families are yet to come around to their relationship and to the pregnancy news

Tory said: 'Most of my friends know all my partners and they love us and think that we're cute and such. My family is kind of quiet about their disapproval. Polyamory is definitely an uncommon thing.

'A lot of people have grown up in monogamy culture of, you don't really love someone if you have eyes for somebody else.'

Christopher added: '

Her main concern was that she didn't like the idea of me having a partner who was not fulfilled with me alone.'

However Ethan's family are 'very active' in their support, along with Tory's older brother, Alistair.

Alistair said: 'I will admit that since I'm her older brother, that I just have that tendency I suppose to be protective.

'I'm more so concerned that she's happy, that she is in a relationship where they both love each other mutually or in this case more people love each other mutually.

'I don't see anything wrong with Tory's relationship.'

After having to overcome judgement in public spaces, Tory hopes that she will eventually see more acceptance of polyamory in wider society. 'We definitely get weird looks,' she said.

'I've had people just say rude comments when we've just been hanging out at a fast food place. I've been called a hoe more than once.

'Maybe in our future, we might see it become a common thing where people don't bat an eye on it anymore at all. One can hope.'

But for now, they are focused on their relationship and their future as a five. We would definitely like to have more kids down the line.

'With there being five adults in the household, we should probably have more than one kid.'

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for bringing my daughter's tampons to school?

Batterypowered7 posted:

Took this photo just for this thread:

quote:

I (22M) and my fiance (22F) have been engaged for a total of 2 weeks now, and we have been dating for 3 years before that. She is very excited for the ceremony (Note we do not live together at the moment. I am in another state with a nice job to get my foot in the door but I am moving back this summer). Her brother is about to finish up his classes in the Navy and could potentially be deployed for up to 4 years accordingly.

She just got done talking to me and we were discussing a date in which we would get married. I said in ~2-3 years of living together, which would give me time to graduate college with a bachelors, and save a little money for an open bar at the wedding. She was thinking more of ~1 year of living together. We discussed this very well in depth and I said something along the lines of "You know what. A year of living together should be plenty of time to know whether or not we want to fully commit. 1 year sounds good."

Well she just got word from her brother that he will for sure be deployed around May this summer. With the chance of it lasting up to 4 years, my fiance was not very happy with it. She for sure wants her brother here to walk her down the aisle since her "dad" is, well... A dick... So she asked me just now if we could plan and arrange a wedding in 5 months from today.

I said there is no need to rush it, and we can wait until he comes back, or has any visit time in which we can plan around. Now she seems upset that I don't want to marry her because I said I do not want to rush in. I love her very much, and don't have a problem with marriage between us, but I don't know if rushing to become married is a smart idea.



tl;dr - Fiance wants to get married before her brother deploys in 5 months. AITA for not wanting to rush into it, in 5 months?

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

from Jacksonville, Florida

Frankenstyle posted:

Whatthefuck Goon! Thanks for the trigger warning.

Lucrece posted:

AITA for not wanting to rush into marriage.


Try to guess what the overwhelming majority of Reddit is saying? Go on, I dare ya!

cumshitter posted:

I'm surprised that he actually did useful things like getting her a credit card and negotiating with the mechanic. I 100% thought it was going to be a scam.

Grumio posted: