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Beef Hardcheese posted:I'm looking forward to hearing about what happens in RoS that will retcon and shittify the OT.
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Dec 12, 2019 05:50
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Kazak posted:I had really high hopes for Rey based on her intro in tfa. She had a good self sufficiency thing going on nottattooine that echoed Luke's farm boyishness while giving her some room to be a different kind of hero in waiting As soon as she spilled a huge amount of her precious, hard-won quarter portion insta-biscuit powder when making it I knew she was going to disappoint. She could have made another whole 1/3rd of a biscuit with that mishandled powder! She'd never cut it in the carefully measured and doled out world of say, a subway sandwich franchisee so she'd clearly not amount to much in the annals of the force.
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Dec 12, 2019 05:58
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Surprise plot twist Palpatine did in fact have a wife.
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Dec 12, 2019 06:29
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Kazak posted:Buy a ticket to CATS and sneak in to ROS. Worst case star wars keeps sucking and we get a CATS cinematic universe I wanted to do this but all the good theaters here have assigned seating and I fear the cops. Alas but I'm not brave enough to make a stand for the cats cinematic universe
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Dec 12, 2019 06:31
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Dean of Swing posted:Surprise plot twist Palpatine did in fact have a wife. Bastila Shan's force ghost.
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Dec 12, 2019 06:53
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Sheeve and Shephanie Palpatine
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Dec 12, 2019 07:04
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Baby Sheeve
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Dec 12, 2019 07:05
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So if you buy into the idea that they implied that Palpatine knocked up Anakin's mom with the force does this mean we're getting down with some more incestuous smooching or is it like third cousins and that makes it ok or what.
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Dec 12, 2019 07:18
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You mean when Rey travels back in time pregnant with Kylo's kid, and Kylo Ren becomes his own great-grandpa? Yeah, he's smooching good on great-grandma.
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Dec 12, 2019 07:45
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my dog died im sad posted:That Walrus guy should submit all his posts to fanfiction.net. But it was LGD making up things that aren't even in the movie, which is more akin to what a fanfic writer does. At least The Walrus was limiting their discussion to what was actually presented on screen
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Dec 12, 2019 07:46
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Infinite Karma posted:You mean when Rey travels back in time pregnant with Kylo's kid, and Kylo Ren becomes his own great-grandpa? Yeah, he's smooching good on great-grandma. Also Kylo Ren changes his name to Sheev and lets us know that Snoke was Darth Plagueis.
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Dec 12, 2019 07:48
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QuarkJets posted:But it was LGD making up things that aren't even in the movie, which is more akin to what a fanfic writer does. At least The Walrus was limiting their discussion to what was actually presented on screen Ok that's probably fair. I just meant the text walls theory crafting the intent of the plot generally, not a specific poster. And I was, admittedly, unable to finish reading any of those posts, so I trust your assessment. Nice Guy Patron fucked around with this message at 08:05 on Dec 12, 2019 |
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Dec 12, 2019 08:01
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Which side of the force lets them do mpreg?Gumdrop Larry posted:So if you buy into the idea that they implied that Palpatine knocked up Anakin's mom with the force does this mean we're getting down with some more incestuous smooching or is it like third cousins and that makes it ok or what. I don't think his genetic material factored into it, that baby was all midichlorian. But that means that all force users are related by midichlorian and any interaction between any two force users is incest. dudeness fucked around with this message at 08:26 on Dec 12, 2019 |
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Dec 12, 2019 08:17
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Cat Army
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The Walrus posted:You don't see a link between Luke in the OT and in this trilogy, for me his change makes complete sense from what we are shown even if we are left to guess at what he was thinking at some specific times. This is fine for me because the movie is not about him, it's about the lasting effects of his failure. alright, I understand all of your points now, and it makes total sense. you're right, Luke was clearly suffering from addiction problems, it changes people- and what was he addicted to? the most insidious of star drugs: space Walrus milk.
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Dec 12, 2019 09:42
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R2D2 is with child and Jar Jar is the father.
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Dec 12, 2019 09:52
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A weird world where I like the TV show more than whatever is coming in a week plus Gimme more Amy Sedaris and baby yoda
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Dec 12, 2019 10:02
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https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsLeaks/comments/e8tl0v/the_rise_of_skywalker_last_minute_details/ Here is the latest and probably final update containing plot details for the entire movie. Major spoilers, obviously. This is going to be a trainwreck of epic proportions.
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Dec 12, 2019 10:31
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The most recent spoil is that the Swedish film review board has leaked the fact that we will hear the word "rear end" said at least once. Who's gonna say it, and in what context? I think it's gonna be The Senate that drops the A-bomb.
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Dec 12, 2019 10:54
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Sheev: Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL rear end!
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Dec 12, 2019 11:06
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Mooey Cow posted:The most recent spoil is that the Swedish film review board has leaked the fact that we will hear the word "rear end" said at least once. Gonz posted:Palpatine: “And now, Kylo Ren, I shall whoop your rear end!”
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Dec 12, 2019 11:16
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my dog died im sad posted:R2D2 is with child and Jar Jar is the father. The most compelling argument for abortion I've ever seen
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Dec 12, 2019 11:48
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Rey turns to Finn: "Is Palpatine shooting force lightning out of his rear end?" *cut to Palpatine's cackling face, and then cut to a shot of Palpatine bent over with his robe up around his head, his rear end shoots lightning everywhere* Poe to Rey: "Lightning out of his rear end?" Finn to the camera: "Shooting lightning out of his rear end." Chewbacca: "Maclunky"
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Dec 12, 2019 11:51
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There's gonna be a marathon showing of the entire new trilogy at my local cinema and I'm not sure I hate myself enough to subject to it.
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Dec 12, 2019 13:44
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Archer666 posted:There's gonna be a marathon showing of the entire new trilogy at my local cinema and I'm not sure I hate myself enough to subject to it. im prepped to marathon all star wars in order before watching Rise of Skywalker. the plan: 1) The Phantom Menace 2) Attack of the Clones 3) Clone Wars Cartoon 4) Revenge of the Sith 5) Solo 6) Rogue One 7) A New Hope 8) Star Wars Holiday Special 9) The Empire Strikes Back 10) Return of the Jedi 11) Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure 12) Ewoks: The Battle for Endor 13) The Force Awakens 14) The Last Jedi should take less than 48 hours
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Dec 12, 2019 13:57
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At the end of the film, Rey decides that force and Jedi were a bad idea all along and decided to travel back into the past, sometime around 1969 specifically, to kick George Lucas's rear end. After a psychedelic 5 minute transition, we can see Rey knocking on George's door. As the door begins to open, she shouts "I'm here to kick your rear end, George Lucas!" and it fades to credits.
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Dec 12, 2019 14:17
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 A-T-rear end-T A-T-rear end-T
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Dec 12, 2019 14:40
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Rutibex posted:im prepped to marathon all star wars in order before watching Rise of Skywalker. the plan: Same. My plan: 1) Lightsaber fight from the end of TPM on youtube 2) Attack of the Clones
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Dec 12, 2019 14:43
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rear end Dan confirmed as the last Jedi.
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Dec 12, 2019 14:51
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Colonel Cancer posted:At the end of the film, Rey decides that force and Jedi were a bad idea all along and decided to travel back into the past, sometime around 1969 specifically, to kick George Lucas's rear end. After a psychedelic 5 minute transition, we can see Rey knocking on George's door. As the door begins to open, she shouts "I'm here to kick your rear end, George Lucas!" and it fades to credits. She causes the racecar crash that eventually leads to George going to film school rather than becoming a car mechanic/office goon.
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Dec 12, 2019 14:54
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Chewbacca has been fatally wounded by a laser blast, he's dying and everyone is around him. "Chewie, it's okay my friend, you can pass on. Do you have anything you want to say?" "Han Solo ate my rear end every day for 40 years. He's the best lover I've ever had and I've been depressed ever since he died. I'm welcoming death now, if only to be reunited with the most amazing man in the Galaxy. My rear end will be lonely no more. Goodbye, I hated you all and only stuck around because Han seemed to like you."
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Dec 12, 2019 15:04
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"What are you doing, 3PO?" "Taking one last look, Sir. At yo mom's rear end!!!"
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Dec 12, 2019 15:12
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They eat rear end now! They eat rear end now? They eat rear end now.
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Dec 12, 2019 15:22
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Look out, an rear end teroid
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Dec 12, 2019 15:38
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*rise of the jedi opens on a shot of a massive star destroyer* *cut to: millennium falcon interior* poe: 'drat, that star destroyer is bigger than my mom's rear end!'
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Dec 12, 2019 15:41
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Rent-A-Cop posted:rear end Dan confirmed as the last Jedi. He'll never die RIP rear end Dan
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Dec 12, 2019 16:05
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Harrison Ford was forced to record some dialogue and muttered "This whole thing is a real pain in my rear end" and they kept it in the movie.
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Dec 12, 2019 16:10
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QuarkJets posted:But it was LGD making up things that aren't even in the movie, which is more akin to what a fanfic writer does. At least The Walrus was limiting their discussion to what was actually presented on screen what exactly was I making up? e: the only thing I've seen actually "disputed" was that Luke attempted to murder a kid the movie presents Luke as going to a child's room, while that child is asleep, at night Luke clearly communicates his pre-existing motivations for desiring to murder the child, he does not communicate any benign motive for the visit in the first place (certainly not one that could be taken at face value) he then draws a lethal weapon for the express purpose of child murder while he's about to murder the child, the child awakens, meets his eyes, he realizes oh hey maybe child murder wasn't a good idea and then loses his opportunity/is fended off by the child who instantly realizes Luke was about to stab him the only motivation he's given for this is a tossed off line about dark premonitions of the future, which the same text notes weren't actually reliable in any way pretending this is a totally fine, understandable thing for him to have done because of "rational guesses" is a lot less based on anything shown in the movie than describing TLJ Luke as someone who was both willing to murder a child he had been entrusted with out of cowardice and who actually attempted to do so pretending this somehow flows from OT Luke's character because he was once an impetuous youthful moisture-farmboy and "people aren't who you think" is insane LGD fucked around with this message at 18:33 on Dec 12, 2019 |
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Dec 12, 2019 18:13
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2cBTLsWiDg Care to watch another contrarian review of the last jedi? Here you go.
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Dec 12, 2019 18:26
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I liked EUs version of Luke better. That said, this movie is gonna suck so much poo poo, straight from Disney's puckered rear end in a top hat. At least we still have the books.
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Dec 12, 2019 19:03
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TLJ Luke is just a slightly more butthurt, sonless version of how EU Luke got in the end. Grumpy old guy who recapitulated 110% of the old Jedi order’s problems and then got exiled
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Dec 12, 2019 19:06
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