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I think I'd rather watch Fallen Kingdom again than Jurassic World, just because the "dinosaurs in a haunted mansion" thing is at least something new. Stupid, but new.
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Dec 16, 2019 22:33
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Alhazred posted:Jupiter Ascending is so bland that the only thing that makes it stand out is how dumb it is. I've heard the movie called many things but bland is not one of them.
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Dec 16, 2019 22:34
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I could put together an Actually Good Top Ten of movies listed in this thread and that would probably make a half decent best of the decade
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Dec 16, 2019 22:37
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Rahonavis posted:That’s not my personal pick for worst movie of the decade. My personal pick would be “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom”. Granted, I didn’t like any of the “Jurassic” sequels, but it felt like the “World” movies hate me back. A friend of mine hit the nail on the head: “They try to recreate the scene from the first movie where the human characters see a living Brachiosaurus walking around for the first time. Except this time, all the people have guns and the dinosaur is on fire.” They literally say in the movie that dinosaurs aren't good enough. It is stated in dialogue that the people responsible for this thinks regular dinosaurs are too boring
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Dec 16, 2019 22:53
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I was wrong, just ended up with a Pretty Neat Nine, nine movies that are at worst pretty neat Jupiter Ascending Death Note Tim And Eric's Billion Dollar Movie Beyond The Black Rainbow Godzilla (2014) Pottersville mother! BvS Chappie
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Dec 16, 2019 23:04
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I never saw the Death Note movie, but I did see the trailer, where it's shown that they kept the part where L crouches in chairs instead of sitting in them, despite the fact that this is a live action movie instead of a cartoon, and L is a full sized adult American instead of a small Japanese teen.
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Dec 16, 2019 23:16
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I Before E posted:I was wrong, just ended up with a Pretty Neat Nine, nine movies that are at worst pretty neat I can see reasonable arguments for all of these except Death Note, which I found pretty devoid of any redeeming value. It's a poor adaptation of the source material (which isn't necessarily a bad thing since the source material isn't very good to begin with), but it also fails as its own thing, which is primarily just a Final Destination knockoff. It's a movie so bland that it makes Lakeith Stanfield boring.
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Dec 16, 2019 23:21
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Cemetry Gator posted:My biggest problem with American Sniper is that Clint Eastwood made a horrible mess with the movie. This is a good post. The movie depicts Kyle's PTSD as a worry that he didn't save enough people. That he hates war, but was really good at it and he could save people. the real guy fuckin' loved war and loved killing. That's how he dealt with what he'd been through, by falling in love with it. If you've read any book by american special forces guys, they're not big on self awareness or reflection. This is even worse than usual on that front. The horrifying truth of Kyle is that he's not really an aberration, that's how the system is supposed to work. There's roughly a bajillion interestng angles you could take with him. You could make him an unreliable narrator who sees enemies everywhere. You could show the disconnection between how his PTSD is manifesting and how he expresses it. You could explore how awful it is that he's praised for what he does. You could explore the fog of war. They hint at that last one, actually, as he's told a city has been evacuated, and he immediately sees bunch of civilians. Instead, it's about as interesting as as Jarhead's straight to video sequels. American Sniper is hateable not just for what it is, but for what it could have been. Snowman_McK fucked around with this message at 04:37 on Dec 17, 2019 |
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Dec 17, 2019 04:34
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Rahonavis posted:That’s not my personal pick for worst movie of the decade. My personal pick would be “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom”. Granted, I didn’t like any of the “Jurassic” sequels, but it felt like the “World” movies hate me back. A friend of mine hit the nail on the head: “They try to recreate the scene from the first movie where the human characters see a living Brachiosaurus walking around for the first time. Except this time, all the people have guns and the dinosaur is on fire.” I kinda love this stupid movie. The script feels like a cheap 80s Italian knockoff, with a bunch of increasingly-ridiculous plot elements to hide the fact that the first act takes place in the jungle and the rest is in one of the producer's houses to cut down on costs, except they made it in 2018 and gave it a Tentpole Movie budget. It's easily the best movie in the Carnosaur series, hurt slightly by the fact that they inexplicably put it in the Jurassic Park series instead.
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Dec 17, 2019 04:45
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Basebf555 posted:I've heard the movie called many things but bland is not one of them. There's nothing in that movie, except Redmayne's bizarre acting and Jupiter's animal fetish, that really stands out.
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Dec 17, 2019 06:09
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Punkin Spunkin posted:I maintain the theatrical cut of BvS is still too Weird Stupid to make this list It falls under the same category as the Star Wars Holiday Special; if you describe it to someone, it sounds totally buckwild and they might be inclined to watch it because it’s so drat weird, but the film itself is so dull and plodding it’s not worth bothering with. Basebf555 posted:Too much imagination and too many interesting ideas in Jupiter Ascending for it to be one of the worst. Jupiter Ascending is very messy, which is part of why it’s so endearing. The Wachowskis threw everything at the wall, and I can’t get upset at such a wild and weird blockbuster when the only movies people watch anymore are churned out on an assembly line. Alhazred posted:There's nothing in that movie, except Redmayne's bizarre acting and Jupiter's animal fetish, that really stands out. “Bees are genetically engineered to recognize royalty.”
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Dec 17, 2019 15:21
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X-Ray Pecs posted:
"Better not do anything intersting with that."
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Dec 17, 2019 15:36
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American Sniper (beside Kyle being a lying piece of human garbage) was just super strange from like a storytelling/structure perspective, but it's odd in that I feel I only noticed some of it because I'm a veteran myself. So like there's a part where Kyle is shooting Iraqis, very clearly in Iraq, and then the next scene suddenly he is back in America with his kid getting him a haircut. Like no scene of him of coming home, or why his kid went from like, an infant to a five year old over the course of one deployment. Then he sees a news story about Iraq, and like, the very next scene he's back in Iraq again? There may have been a single shot of him walking out of a C-130, but otherwise no fanfare given to leaving for deployment or coming home from one. I think it happens like once or twice more. I guess Eastwood was going for the "he gets deployed so much coming and going means nothing to him" but it just wrecks the utter poo poo out of narrative. And also, those moments are very big deals in the lives of military people, especially for true believers like Kyle. It just made absolutely no sense to me.
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Dec 18, 2019 04:44
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Remember that part of the movie where his terrorist radar goes haywire and he sniffs out a weapon cache? Also, remember how in the movie literally every Iraqi on screen is in one way or another shown to be an enemy of the United States? ALSO, LOL at the scene where the guy seriously thinks that he'd get dire consequences for shooting an unarmed civilian?
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Dec 18, 2019 10:14
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BigglesSWE posted:Remember that part of the movie where his terrorist radar goes haywire and he sniffs out a weapon cache? Also, remember how in the movie literally every Iraqi on screen is in one way or another shown to be an enemy of the United States? No I don't. Because I watched it once and then put it in my Passion of the Christ file for manipulative movies that have serious flaws but because of their subject matter, nobody attacks and then promptly forgot about it. This one had less slowdown, so I was tempted to leave it out.
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Dec 18, 2019 17:23
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Oh yeah, famously unexamined movie The Passion of the Christ
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Dec 18, 2019 17:26
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Wow, Rise of Skywalker trying to slide into this thread at the last minute.
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Dec 18, 2019 17:31
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I really only remember a couple scenes from American Sniper, and one of them was when he was about to shoot the Iraqi Sniper, there's a scene where the Iraqi Sniper kisses his family bye as he walks out the door. It's a weird little scene that always stuck out to me because it's almost there to humanize the other side and then it's never picked back up, like it was cribbed from a better movie, and forgotten about during the rest of the process.
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Dec 18, 2019 17:31
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I thought it would've been funny if American Sniper's daughter who starts out as a baby doll grew up to be a child-sized mannequin.
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Dec 18, 2019 17:56
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Iron Crowned posted:I really only remember a couple scenes from American Sniper, and one of them was when he was about to shoot the Iraqi Sniper, there's a scene where the Iraqi Sniper kisses his family bye as he walks out the door. A lot of movies have these weird vestigial scenes and motifs, that I've always assumed were left over from earlier screenplays, edits and ambitions. My Name is Legend is full of them.
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Dec 18, 2019 18:48
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nonathlon posted:A lot of movies have these weird vestigial scenes and motifs, that I've always assumed were left over from earlier screenplays, edits and ambitions. My Name is Legend is full of them. The new Midway movie really feels like this happened a lot, too. On topic: the new Midway movie is pretty bad, just watch the 1976 one instead if you're into that sort of thing.
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Dec 18, 2019 19:28
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I was super into the old Midway movie as a child, for some reason. Just one of those weird fixations. Another odd movie I really liked was The Terminal with Tom Hanks.
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Dec 18, 2019 21:48
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BigglesSWE posted:I was super into the old Midway movie as a child, for some reason. Just one of those weird fixations. I was the same for Tora Tora Tora. Did a grandparent put it on for you? That's how i got there.
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Dec 18, 2019 21:54
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Snowman_McK posted:I was the same for Tora Tora Tora. Did a grandparent put it on for you? That's how i got there. Nnnooo I was just sort of into WWII stuff as a child (think a lot male history buffs start out there, but fortunately I moved on before I became obsessed with tank statistics). One day it was on the television; I saw enough of it to pester my dad about buying it from Amazon which he eventually did. Still has the DVD back home somewhere. Pretty sure Midway actually uses footages from Tora Tora Tora. It’s a movie that includes a lot of actual war footage.
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Dec 18, 2019 22:12
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BigglesSWE posted:Nnnooo I was just sort of into WWII stuff as a child (think a lot male history buffs start out there, but fortunately I moved on before I became obsessed with tank statistics). One day it was on the television; I saw enough of it to pester my dad about buying it from Amazon which he eventually did. Still has the DVD back home somewhere. Me too, though i did briefly fall into the tank stats trap. My grandma, who struggled to relate to me as a child, knew i liked battleships and so put it on rather than sit through another transformers episode.
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Dec 18, 2019 22:24
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I got a worst movie that I've never seen because the filming of it really screwed with my daily life for a month and that was Tom Cruise's The Mummy. Part of it was being filmed at the Natural History Museum London whilst I was doing a masters course there and all the filming just hosed with my ability to actually move about the place at all. I didn't even get to see Tom Cruise. From what I've heard the scenes set there in the movie are used to show off Egyptian artefacts or something. We don't even have an archaeology department! I wonder why they couldn't have filmed at the British Museum where there's all the Egyptian loot they could get their hands on, but I have a feeling that it's because the BM looks too modern. We had some really decrepit places behind the scenes at the NHM.
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Dec 19, 2019 05:39
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Clash of the Titans remake had a sick trailer and the film was loving abysmal
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Dec 19, 2019 06:00
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Cowboys and Aliens had Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig be cowboys fighting off an alien invasion, and it was so loving boring I couldn't even tell you what the aliens looked like. Were they little gray men? District 9 bug people? I have no idea my dudes! There are worse movies mentioned in this thread, but that one is one of my biggest regrets to have seen in theaters this decade.
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Dec 19, 2019 06:05
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Tim Whatley posted:Clash of the Titans remake had a sick trailer and the film was loving abysmal gently caress, I just remembered this film featured a Middle Eastern character who was A) a literal monster and B) a suicide bomber.
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Dec 19, 2019 06:07
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Crowetron posted:gently caress, I just remembered this film featured a Middle Eastern character who was A) a literal monster and B) a suicide bomber. It also portrayed a rape victim as a monster they had cut the head off.
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Dec 19, 2019 07:05
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Alhazred posted:It also portrayed a rape victim as a monster they had cut the head off. I mean, Medusa is part of the source material, so we can't blame the filmmakers for that one. That's just good ol' BC-era weirdos at work.
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Dec 19, 2019 07:27
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Crowetron posted:I mean, Medusa is part of the source material, so we can't blame the filmmakers for that one. That's just good ol' BC-era weirdos at work. I think they coulda changed it. I don't think Perseus's estate is particularly litigious, so they coulda got away with fudging the story a little bit.
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Dec 19, 2019 12:42
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Mantis42 posted:Wow, Cats trying to slide into this thread at the last minute. ftfy E: https://twitter.com/davidfarrier/status/1207450843844243456 C-Euro fucked around with this message at 15:39 on Dec 19, 2019 |
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Dec 19, 2019 14:46
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I remember seeing the trailer for Serenity (Matthew McConaughey, Anna Hathaway) and, being intrigued by it, making a mental note to check it out sometime. The other day someone mocked it in another subforum in a "haha, it's so bad it's good" and "go in totally blind" kind of way, mentioning some sort of weird/dumb twist, which made me look for it. Yep. That's the dumbest twist (becoming basically the premise of everything that is happening) in any movie I have ever seen. Whoever thought "Wow, that's intriguing" and greenlit this disaster should never work again. If you have to know - and whom am I kidding, you should not waste your time on this drivel like I have - this is it: Everything is made up in a video game the kid of the (dead) real world counterpart of the protagonist developed. Which in a way explains the super-hammy performances, but in retrospect does not cover why McConaughey's character prostitutes himself to Diane Lane, come to think of it ... what the gently caress is that about, kid? This paragraph from a review sums it up best: "This is a tragic example of a film that stinks in the first half, then spends the second half explaining that the first half was bad on purpose, but using a rationale so preposterous that it makes the second half worse than the first."
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Dec 19, 2019 15:01
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Gripweed posted:I think they coulda changed it. I don't think Perseus's estate is particularly litigious, so they coulda got away with fudging the story a little bit. Yeah, either change the story or aknowledge how hosed up it is.
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Dec 19, 2019 15:33
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C-Euro posted:Ftfy It can be both! If we're lucky, we can have two legendary shitshows slide into the 2010's at the last minute! I'm hearing incredibly bad things about both!
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Dec 19, 2019 15:55
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You’d have to be pretty disingenuous to call ROS a “worst of the decade” contender. But I kind of liked it, warts and all, so what do I know. Fully expect it to be on a bunch of “worst of the year” lists tho, but probably not from many published critics.
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Dec 19, 2019 16:24
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mcbexx posted:I remember seeing the trailer for Serenity (Matthew McConaughey, Anna Hathaway) and, being intrigued by it, making a mental note to check it out sometime. counterpoint: Serenity is bonkers in the best way and watching it alone in a theater at like 12:30 the night it came out was really the best way to watch it because I was able to yell "wait what" at the screen when the twist came around.
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Dec 19, 2019 16:49
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My favorite part of Serenity is the way they just drop the psychosexual subtext of a kid programming a video game where you play as his dad and gently caress his mom on the table and then walk away while you’re left with the check.
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Dec 19, 2019 18:49
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Cemetry Gator posted:I've seen people mention Star Trek Into Darkness, but I'm going to do you one better - Star Trek Beyond. You're totally free to hate the movie regardless but just for the record, the movie starts with Kirk bored and in a rut, and it's implied he's considering leaving the Enterprise, going home and starting a family. The rest of the movie is about seeing what happens after he (literally) loses the Enterprise: he realizes that the Enterprise was his home and its crew was his family the whole time. No argument about the rest but the movie does indeed have a story and themes.
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Dec 19, 2019 23:35
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