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Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
I keep track of the prequels based on their most interminable scene.

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Breakfast All Day
Oct 21, 2004

Somehow all the people talking how bad this was didn't prepare me for how bad it actually was. Good things (exhaustive list):

- Skull calipers in Chewy's cell
- Kylo's water cooled gamer PC in his quarters
- Greg Grunberg doing "fat guy in a little coat"

Hillary 2024
Nov 13, 2016

by vyelkin

Kazak posted:

I'm surprised they were all able to negotiate contacts for just one trilogy

Disney won't make that mistake again

Hillary 2024
Nov 13, 2016

by vyelkin

Statutory Ape posted:

Just saw a clickbait article that suggested chewie might die

Didn’t click it but if that happens there will be riots

You thought Rodney king was bad

No-one's ever really gone.

Sourdough Sam
May 2, 2010

:dukedog:
The whole bait and switch with Chewbacca's "death" was real dumb. They show that he's okay like thirty seconds later.

Hillary 2024
Nov 13, 2016

by vyelkin

b-minus1 posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsLeaks/comments/cxmfsv/the_basic_plot_of_episode_ix_the_rise_of/

spoiler
As stated in a previous leak, it's been reiterated to me that we will indeed be getting young Luke and Leia flashbacks in TROS. One in particular appears to be the opening of the movie no less. We begin the action by seeing one of, if not the final training lesson between Luke and Leia. Leia is giving up her Jedi training due to the fact that she's pregnant with a son. My source on this mentioned a fight, so I believe that we may be getting Leia and Luke in a lightsaber duel toward the beginning of the film.

Picking up in the current point in the timeline. Leia appears to have taken up the mantel of Jedi mentor to Rey in the wake of Luke's passing. Note: This will likely coincide with the scene from the D23 First Look where Rey throws here lightsaber at a training remote and cuts down a tree.

Early on in the film, we catch up with Kylo's story where he is "slaughtering" people with the purpose of tracking down one of the film's McGuffins, a device known as the "wayfinder".

I'm told that the clip of Kylo body slamming someone into the floor of a forest bathed in red light seen in the teaser. I'm also told that this planet is called "Exogol" (don't quote me on the spelling).
Kylo obtains the wayfinder from "The Oracle" and finds it to contain coordinates to a point in the Unknown Regions. The wayfinder that Kylo is given once belonged to his grandfater. Using the coordinates found within the wayfinder device, Kylo arrives in the Unknown Regions. Here, Kylo encounters Emperor Palpatine. How Palpatine is still alive and how he ended up in the Unknown Regions is still a mystery to me that I hope to learn more about in the next few months (Note: Daisy Ridley recently said in an interview that it's explained in the film), but my source on this tells me that this is indeed Palpatine in the flesh. Kylo and Palpatine's conversation apparently centers around ordering Kylo to find Rey and bring her to the Emperor with the goal of turning her to the dark side.

Note: It's not lost on me that this part of the story feels very Return of the Jedi inspired, but we'll just crack on and see how this all pans out.

My source specifically mentioned that Palpatine is very old and decrepit at this point, possibly on the verge of death. A little bit of Googling reveals that Palpatine is thought to have been born around 84 BBY making him in the neighborhood of 113 years old by the events of The Rise of Skywalker. His goal in luring Kylo to him and converting Rey to darkness is more or less to have Rey and Kylo inherit his "new Empire" and for them to rule it together. In order to facilitate bringing about this "new Empire", Palpatine has spent his 30 years of PTO creating a fleet of "Death Star Destroyers" (Note: I don't know if this is their actual name or not. Personally, I hope not, it's bit on the nose) which appear to be exactly what they sound like. Star Destroyers with Death Star tech mounted on them, giving them the capability to destroy a planet. (Note: Apparently once this particular technology was unleashed 30 some odd years ago, that Pandora's box can't be shut again). According to my source, these star destroyers make up the "Sith Fleet" that house the new red Sith Troopers that were showcased at SDCC in July.

Note: I wrote this prior to the First Look being shown and the fleet has since been confirmed. It's comprised of Imperial star destroyers hiding in the Unknown Regions and we see what appears to be their planet destroying capabilities during the reel.

Enough about Rey and Kylo, let's get back to the rest of the Resistance. Apparently we catch up with Finn and Poe returning to the jungle planet depicted in some of the behind the scenes images shown at Celebration. The duo has been in contact with an informant from within the First Order. The mole has told Finn and Poe about Kylo coming into possession of the "wayfinder". Note: It's unclear to me if anyone in the Resistance understands what the "wayfinder" is or where it leads. They just want to find it.

Poe and Finn tell Leia about this and she sends Rey, Chewbacca, C-3PO and the other droids to accompany them on the mission. In order to get them going on their quest, Leia puts them in contact with someone on Pasaana (The desert planet, filmed in Jordan). It's at this point in the story where the Resistance team makes their way to the desert planet seen in the teaser and behind the scenes footage. It's revealed that Leia's contact is Lando Calrissian. Lando points them toward another one of our McGuffins, a "Sith artifact" that apparently turns out to be a dagger. This dagger has some sort of writing on it that 3PO can’t decipher. Note: My source understands this to be a "Sith language". That description is pretty vague for me, but the key point is sound. Heroes find dagger, dagger has writing on it that 3PO can't read.

It’s during our heroes time on Passana that Kylo initiates a Force mind link between himself and Rey. Through their connection Kylo discovers where Rey and the Resistance crew are and leaves to pursue them. Eventually Kylo and the Knights of Ren arrive and begin to attack our heroes. One thing leads to another and the Resistance crew gets outnumbered and they are forced to make their escape on an old ship leaving the Millennium Falcon behind. Kylo recovers the Falcon and takes it back to his Star Destroyer.

As previously mentioned, 3PO is confronted with a challenge he is not equipped to handle. The artifact found on Passana contains a language that 3PO can’t translate without modifications. In order to modify 3POs programming, Poe brings the team to the wintery planet seen in the teaser (Kijimi per the Vanity Fair article). There C-3PO is modified to allow translation of the artifact. I'm told that the modification is done by a small alien (possibly the one pictured in Image A of my post from 6 months ago. I'm not 100% sure on that, but confident enough in who told this to me that I'm willing to put it out there) Once translatable the dagger supposedly reveals information regarding a second wayfinder, this one having belonged to Emperor Palpatine himself, leading the team to journey to the forest moon of Endor. Note: My sources tell me that the scene from the First Look reel showing 3PO with red eyes connects to this event. The Red eyes are part of the "hack" that allows him to translate the "Sith language".

During the events leading to the modification of 3PO on the wintery planet, Kylo initiates another Force connection between he and Rey. Kylo supposedly uses this as an opportunity to begin forcing Rey down the path of darkness. He does this by antagonizing Rey. Kylo tells her that he knows about the dagger and what it was once used for. Kylo apparently tells her that this dagger was used to murder Rey’s parents. Kylo maintains that her parents are nobodies in the grand story. This angers Rey and she lashes out at Kylo and a lightsaber duel ensues. Rey is on Kijimi and Kylo is on his Star Destroyer. According to my source no flashes of any additional locations are seen during this fight (possibly in the film at all, but we'll see). Ren keeps the link alive long enough to learn Rey’s location and eventually peruses her in his Star Destroyer like before.

Zori Bliss is introduced sometime during their time on this planet. Note: My sources told me that she has history with Poe prior to Keri Russell saying the same thing in an interview days ago. What this history may be is still a mystery to me right now.

Once Kylo arrives, our gang of heroes decide to sneak aboard and attempt to recover the Falcon prior to leaving. The rescue plan goes awry and the whole group gets captured by the First Order. It’s at this point that two major things happen: It’s revealed that Hux is the First Order mole that has been feeding the Resistance information and he allows the heroes to escape while Kylo is distracted by dueling with Rey in person. During this duel, Kylo adds another wrinkle to Rey’s backstory. He maintains that while her parents are nobodies, her grandparents (more specifically her grandfather) wasn’t. Kylo tells Rey that she is the granddaughter of Papatine. This explains his interest in bringing the random nobody from Jakku into the fold. The crew recovers the Falcon, Rey reconnects with them and they all flee.

Following her battle aboard the Star Destroyer and escape on the Falcon. Rey uses the newly gleaned information resulting from 3POs modifications and the translation of the dagger to travel to Endor. At this time, it’s a little unclear to me how Kylo gets from point A to point B, but supposedly he is waiting for Rey in Palpatine’s throne room aboard the wreckage of the second Death Star. (Note: I assume he knows the location of the second wayfinder due to his newfound connection to Palpatine, but that's just speculation on my part. I think it's important to note that Kylo may have been there before considering that he had the charred helmet of Vader in TFA.).

Naturally, they fight. The specifics of this duel are unknown to me, but what I have been told about it is that it’s at this point when Rey begins to tap into some hatred to gain the upper hand and eventually defeats Kylo (Note: possibly destroying his lightsaber in the process, but that's more rumor than leak at the moment), leaving him for dead on the wreckage of the Death Star. Rey takes possession of Palpatine's wayfinder and leaves. My sources tell me that the "Dark Rey" moment seen in the D23 footage is in fact a vision (described to me as thematically similar to Luke seeing himself as Vader in the cave on Dagobah). This apparently is a short sequence that happens right after Rey picks up Palpatine's wayfinder.

While lying in the wreckage of the Death Star weakened state Kylo Ren reportedly sees a vision of his father. (Note: It’s unclear to me if Han appears as a bona fide ghost or just through the magic of injury induced hallucinations, but this interaction supposedly acts as Kylo’s “come to Jesus” moment.) Han tells Kylo that it’s never too late to change and when he leaves Endor, he leaves not as Kylo Ren, but as Ben Solo.

This duel is a critical tipping point for Rey as well. I’m told that in the wake of her confrontation with Kylo, she takes the wayfinder and flees to Ahch-to to collect her thoughts. Her mindset is reportedly mirror Luke’s while he was there prior to and during the events of The Last Jedi. The vision of a possible dark future for herself in conjunction fact that she nearly killed Kylo scared Rey in the same way that considering killing Ben in his sleep scared Luke many years prior. She feared the path she was headed down and decides to swear off the Jedi, exiling herself on Ahch-to. Rey scuttles the ship she used to get there just like Luke once did and she caps it all off by casting Anakin's reconstructed lightsaber toward her ship. Just when it looks like the Jedi Order is going to end (again), the specter of Luke Skywalker appears to Rey, holding her discarded lightsaber and does what all good Force ghosts do; gives our hero the resolve to do what needs to be done. Finish the work Luke began over 30 years earlier and put an end to the Emperor for good. According to my source, Luke passes on Leia’s lightsaber to Rey. (Note: I don't know where it came from, where it's been all this time, or how Luke is able to give it to Rey, but what I can tell you (with only about 50% confidence at this point) is that Leia's blade is supposedly blue.) Bolstered by her conversation with Luke, Rey takes Leia's lightsaber, transmits the location of the Sith fleet to the Resistance before heading out herself.

On the subject of Force ghosts, Luke makes another appearance around the time of Rey and Kylo’s crises of faith. Back at the main Resistance base, Leia is on her deathbed. My source describes it to me like Yoda’s death in Return if the Jedi, nothing bad happened, it was just her time to go. Luke has come to says goodbye, but before it all ends for Leia, he has one final lesson for her...

From what I've been able to put together, the final act of the film is structured like this:

Rey leaves Ahch-to and travels to the Sith fleet in the Unknown Regions. Eventually the Resistance fleet arrives and battle ensues. Somehow, Rey finds her way to The Emperor who has been waiting for her. Palpatine confirms that what Kylo told her was true. Apparently after his defeat at DSII, Palpatine was shaken by the fact that he wasn't able to maintain his hold on Vader or seduce Luke to the darkness due to their familial bond. During the course of their conversation Palpatine makes reference to this bond between Vader and Luke and likens it to his bond with Rey hoping that whatever familial connection they have will be enough to win her over and become as strong as that of the Skywalkers. Note: What my source described next feels very reminiscent of RotJ. Rey is trapped in The Emperor’s throne room, watching two opposing fleets battle while she is helplessly gazes onward. It’s at this point that Kylo/Ben reappears. How we get to this next part is still a bit fuzzy to me, but apparently Ben and Rey join forces and begin attacking Palpatine. Leia's lightsaber comes back into play when Rey and Kylo share the Skywalker lightsabers throughout their fight. At some point the Emperor overpowers them both and supposedly kills Ben. (Note: there have been reports from other reputable leakers that Kylo kind of/sort of dies, but my source on this seemed pretty unambiguous. Personally, I think we'll just have to wait and see what we learn over the next few months.) When it looks like all Hope is lost, the ghosts of Luke and Leia show up to aid Rey. Together they overpower the Emperor and end his darkness once and for all.

As for what the other members of the Resistance are doing at this point, they are engaged in a space battle against Palpatine's fleet lead by General Pryde. The Resistance's goal is supposedly to take out the flagship, severing communications and making navigation out of the Unknown Regions impossible. The flagship is destroyed around the same time that the Emperor dies.

The last thing I was told is regarding the final sequence of the film. I don’t why, but our heroes travel to Tatooine. During these scenes, it is supposedly revealed that Rey has cannibalized Anakin/Luke's lightsaber and Leia's to make one of her own that supposedly has a yellow/gold blade. She buries the leftover pieces on the grounds of the former Lars homestead. The final shots of the Skywalker saga allegedly echo how the adventure began in ‘77, our heroes gazing at the horizon dreaming of the future as twin suns set in the distance.
/spoiler

edit: wow that was longer than I thought. sorry

I guess that leaker was pretty much right.

[e]

Burns posted:

I suspect most skywalker leaks are fake or false flags to weed out corporate traitors.

Hillary 2024 fucked around with this message at 23:29 on Dec 24, 2019

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012

toggle posted:



Movie executives seem to always get what they want, don't they

If you're an actor and you complain about a media conglomerates terrible script your rear end is blacklisted

guessing if you're a director and you try to stiff arm the studio reps you get similar results

Moola
Aug 16, 2006

Bust Rodd posted:

Everyone dunking on Darth Maul can kick rocks, Asthma Robot is a terrible Sith Lord who gets bodied by his dweeb twink son, Palpatine is the shittiest villain in literally all fandoms.

source your quotes plz

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat

Sourdough Sam posted:

My heart always goes out to the talented artists and production designers who do an excellent job every time, adapting whatever the dumb as gently caress overpaid writers and story department tells them to.

Yeah, they do a great job creating boring, totally forgettable garbage that sells well to the idiot masses

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
If the masses love it maybe you are in the wrong, hmm? If we democratize politics and aim to do the same with the workplace, why not art as well?

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT
So the new rebellion beats the new empire and the emperor gets killed and Ewoks celebrate.

This trilogy was just a cosplay of the old one.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Colonel Cancer posted:

If the masses love it maybe you are in the wrong, hmm? If we democratize politics and aim to do the same with the workplace, why not art as well?

Sounds like democracy has limits.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another spring commute

Colonel Cancer posted:

If the masses love it maybe you are in the wrong, hmm? If we democratize politics and aim to do the same with the workplace, why not art as well?

So this is how democracy dies.

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?

Animal-Mother posted:

So the new rebellion beats the new empire and the emperor gets killed and Ewoks celebrate.

This trilogy was just a cosplay of the old one.

Yah it sucked

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Blistex posted:

It's like that time I found Capone's gold when I held up a piece of ancient Egyptian pottery to the wreckage of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Well We picked up Al's gold and we put it in the hold
I said Al, you had best pay your taxes.....

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

I just got back from seeing it. My nephew loved it, which what I have used to judge the last few films, therefore I think it was good.

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Animal-Mother posted:

Well We picked up Al's gold and we put it in the hold
I said Al, you had best pay your taxes.....


:eyepop:
Jesus loving Christ!

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012

Colonel Cancer posted:

If the masses love it maybe you are in the wrong, hmm? If we democratize politics and aim to do the same with the workplace, why not art as well?

Democracy doesn't work

EvilJoven
Mar 18, 2005

NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?
Fun Shoe

duck trucker posted:

Star Wars has always been fantasy and lol if you thought otherwise. There's loving magic in it

Wait you mean people thought a movie about a farm boy a rogue and a wizard saving a princess from an evil lord wasnt fantasy?

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 31, 2003


I put on my robe and Vader hat

Light Gun Man
Oct 17, 2009

toEjaM iS oN
vaCatioN




Lipstick Apathy
let me ask this: why is C3P0 forbidden by programming to translate Sith?

Who decided that? Anakin? He built him, didn't he? why would he program that?

OK if not Anakin, the rebels? why would they program that? Why would they not have just jailbroken him before now?

Did Palpatine declare this a law? If so, why did the Rebels apply that patch, or whatever?

This is a never before heard of problem that seems to exist only so they have to go to the planet where Poe knows a lady he totally probably was hetero with in the past and is thus not gay

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
No why.

Beef Hardcheese
Jan 21, 2003

HOW ABOUT I LASH YOUR SHIT


It's almost like it's a terribly written movie that was shat out by a hack fraud who has no business directing movies...

Shaocaholica
Oct 29, 2002

Fig. 5E

Light Gun Man posted:

let me ask this: why is C3P0 forbidden by programming to translate Sith?

Who decided that? Anakin? He built him, didn't he? why would he program that?

OK if not Anakin, the rebels? why would they program that? Why would they not have just jailbroken him before now?

Did Palpatine declare this a law? If so, why did the Rebels apply that patch, or whatever?

This is a never before heard of problem that seems to exist only so they have to go to the planet where Poe knows a lady he totally probably was hetero with in the past and is thus not gay

Yep you figured it out.

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Light Gun Man posted:

let me ask this: why is C3P0 forbidden by programming to translate Sith?

Who decided that? Anakin? He built him, didn't he? why would he program that?

Anakin is strictly a hardware guy, he just downloaded etiquette and protocol software from the Star Wars' universe's version of Kazaa.

skasion
Feb 13, 2012

Why don't you perform zazen, facing a wall?

Light Gun Man posted:

let me ask this: why is C3P0 forbidden by programming to translate Sith?

Who decided that? Anakin? He built him, didn't he? why would he program that?

OK if not Anakin, the rebels? why would they program that? Why would they not have just jailbroken him before now?

Did Palpatine declare this a law? If so, why did the Rebels apply that patch, or whatever?

This is a never before heard of problem that seems to exist only so they have to go to the planet where Poe knows a lady he totally probably was hetero with in the past and is thus not gay

It’s The Law. He tries to explain but the other characters in the movie make him shut up

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Light Gun Man posted:

let me ask this: why is C3P0 forbidden by programming to translate Sith?

Who decided that? Anakin? He built him, didn't he? why would he program that?

OK if not Anakin, the rebels? why would they program that? Why would they not have just jailbroken him before now?

Did Palpatine declare this a law? If so, why did the Rebels apply that patch, or whatever?

This is a never before heard of problem that seems to exist only so they have to go to the planet where Poe knows a lady he totally probably was hetero with in the past and is thus not gay

it could have happened at any time, the droids go on many wacky adventures between movies:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7h7_d2BUtI

withak
Jan 15, 2003


Fun Shoe

boar guy posted:

that was a spinoff hook and you also badly misread that scene

If there is an alternate explanation for Lando's poorly-concealed erection in that scene then please educate us.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012

Poe could have been gay?

Owlbear Camus
Jan 3, 2013

Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?



Animal-Mother posted:

Anakin is strictly a hardware guy, he just downloaded etiquette and protocol software from the Star Wars' universe's version of Kazaa.

Every cantina song on there is attributed to the modal nodes.

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.

Professor Shark posted:

Poe could have been gay?

Poe should have been gay.

Randarkman
Jul 18, 2011

dudeness posted:

Attack of the Clones might have been the movie that I saw as a child that made me realize that movies can be bad. The force grabbing a pear scene was really what clinched it.

Same here. I was 12 when I saw it in the theater and it really lifted the veil from my eyes so to speak, as I had previously really liked TPM.

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax

Light Gun Man posted:

let me ask this: why is C3P0 forbidden by programming to translate Sith?

Who decided that? Anakin? He built him, didn't he? why would he program that?

OK if not Anakin, the rebels? why would they program that? Why would they not have just jailbroken him before now?

Did Palpatine declare this a law? If so, why did the Rebels apply that patch, or whatever?

This is a never before heard of problem that seems to exist only so they have to go to the planet where Poe knows a lady he totally probably was hetero with in the past and is thus not gay

Anakin was a really lovely software engineer and had no loving clue what he was doing. Dude is a far better hardware guy.

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
Come on, Anakin was like 10 when he made C3PO, I’m sure he tried his best.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Still laughing at the fact that Palpatine's son is just some random nameless bum without Force affinity and Rey is arbitrarily like the strongest Force user ever :laugh:

the movie says he was only a nobody because he chose to be

as everyone knows from the EU, Triclops was a dedicated pacifist who conscientiously refused to follow in his father's footsteps

so basically he noped out from the whole jedi/sith thing and tried to keep his kid from being part of a star wars movie too, an excellent decision which almost worked

Light Gun Man posted:

let me ask this: why is C3P0 forbidden by programming to translate Sith?

Who decided that? Anakin? He built him, didn't he? why would he program that?

OK if not Anakin, the rebels? why would they program that? Why would they not have just jailbroken him before now?

Did Palpatine declare this a law? If so, why did the Rebels apply that patch, or whatever?

This is a never before heard of problem that seems to exist only so they have to go to the planet where Poe knows a lady he totally probably was hetero with in the past and is thus not gay

he says that droids were modified to not translate sith becuase of some law passed by the galatic senate, so probably it's just DRM on his language computer

Drink-Mix Man
Mar 4, 2003

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

I just saw this. As a casual fan it I thought it was really pretty but edited way too fast. The story had some okay moments but was a big step backwards from the last one, kind of coming off as the studio backpedaling.

Overall an enjoyable experience but bafflingly forgettable given its scope and technical excellence.

Mr. Smile Face Hat
Sep 15, 2003

Praise be to China's Covid-Zero Policy

Drink-Mix Man posted:

I just saw this. As a casual fan it I thought it was really pretty but edited way too fast. The story had some okay moments but was a big step backwards from the last one, kind of coming off as the studio backpedaling.

Overall an enjoyable experience but bafflingly forgettable given its scope and technical excellence.

The new Star Wars movie is not going to be everything to everyone and in no way will it "supersede" The Phantom Menace . It will not "change the movie" and nor will it "replace it". Rather it is a new experience that will spark some new and exciting fan theories and excite a new generation of fans. After all, we are living in a world where boys can wear dresses and girls can even become super heroes. It's time to expand our horizons and welcome new world views, whether it be women doing their own cooking and cleaning or men learning a new language and having adventures (thanks Walt Disney). There will be lots of stories that stand out to you and others who look at this story in new ways.

olives black
Nov 24, 2017


LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.
The Dark Crystal is p good so far, on episode 2.

screamin and creamin posted:

The new Star Wars movie is not going to be everything to everyone and in no way will it "supersede" The Phantom Menace . It will not "change the movie" and nor will it "replace it". Rather it is a new experience that will spark some new and exciting fan theories and excite a new generation of fans. After all, we are living in a world where boys can wear dresses and girls can even become super heroes. It's time to expand our horizons and welcome new world views, whether it be women doing their own cooking and cleaning or men learning a new language and having adventures (thanks Walt Disney). There will be lots of stories that stand out to you and others who look at this story in new ways.

been a while since a fakepost gave me a headache, good work

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...
Oh wow, I loved this. (And gently caress all your fan politics while you're at it, TLJ was my jam, too). I'm glad I ran through all the spoilers beforehand, I think it helps to already know going in what specific dumb stuff happens so you can appreciate it for what it is rather than lament the 1000+ missed opportunities.

This one really pares down its form until it's pretty much raw Star Wars: a tight-knit ensemble cast zipping from one fantastic location to another in the Millennium Falcon on a grand space opera journey. The new characters have definitely come into their own and play off each other wonderfully; and Rey has finally, FINALLY become a full-fledged character and not just a sentient "?" with legs (the movie even has essentially a do-over of the last film's "your parents are nobody" reveal so we can see her actually react to it this time, which was one of my few complaints about TLJ).

Out of all the Star Wars movies made in the last 20 years since Episode I came out, this is the one that most resembles what I'd imagined back when the thought of new Star Wars movies was just a dream. You and the best friends you've ever had are going on the adventure of a lifetime together (in space!). For better or worse, it does come off like it was written by a 13-year-old, but I found it kind of charming - even COMPLAINING about this movie is fun!

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SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...
I think all the "new" (Ep.I and up) Star Wars movies had underestimated just how important the Millennium Falcon was to the Star Wars form and how it was this cozy lived-in ship the size of a small house or apartment that the OT basically centered itself around. They of course brought it back in the last two but here it's finally home for these characters and it was something I didn't even realize was missing from Star Wars until now.

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