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I haven't even seen Star Trek Beyond because Star Trek Into Darkness pissed me off so much I lost interest in any Star Trek film ever again. The ending really loving reminds me of nearly ever Marvel film that followed too, especially Guardians of the Galaxy.
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Dec 20, 2019 00:11
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I think the thing about Serenity that gets me the most is that mixing a noir murder plot with a big fish story is a pretty good setup to a story, and I really want to see that movie. You put the antagonist and protagonist on a boat and in the final act you don't know if they are going to work together to catch the fish or try to kill each other.
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Dec 20, 2019 02:28
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meat glitter posted:the worst movie of the decade was slenderman (2018). above every other bizarre choice for a movie about slenderman this movie makes the one that sticks with me the most is...why on earth would anybody want to take a high school class on a field trip to a historic graveyard in the first place quoting myself to change my vote to black christmas, sliding in there right at the end of the decade to be really really terrible and also a remake to boot
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Dec 20, 2019 17:48
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I don't really do best and worst lists because I don't like ranking things, but I am going to go ahead and copy-paste something I wrote about the movie that absolutely pissed me off the most this decade. In early 2011, the Tommy Wi-Show launched. Funded by the internet video network known as Machininma (which, of course, did more than just Machinima videos,) the show was a limited run internet series consisting of Tommy Wiseau playing, and reacting to, a handful of video games. The show borrowed blatantly from Mystery Science Theater 3000 (down to a comedic sci-fi framing device) but didn't rely on amateur senses of filmmaking as its main source of humor. Instead, the joke was Wiseau himself. He'd struggle through sentences, fail to understand basic video game tutorials and instructions, misrepresent systems and mechanics, and anything that required technical skill or tight timing was out the window. Tommy Wiseau is bad at video games, the series wanted you to know. Laugh. Laugh, and rejoice that you are better than him. Machinima isn't around anymore, and is therefore too dead to protest if I'm being unfair when I say that projects like The Tommy Wi-Show are probably why. Even if we ignore that framing devices still require competent writing, and that there's millions of sources available for free if you want to watch people who are bad at video games play video games, The Tommy Wi-Show was an intensely mean-spirited pillorying of a man already most well-known for being an incompetent artist. It was bad. For all the same reasons, The Disaster Artist is even worse. The Disaster Artist isn't anything more than an utter confirmation that the memeification of Tommy Wiseau has taken absolute hold, and will likely never go away. Sestero's book, which this movie is adapted from, draws its power from debunking which questions about Wiseau are actually interesting. Why does he look like that, and talk like that? Why does he have a seemingly endless supply of money? Well, he's a Polish immigrant who got in a debilitating car accident from which he received a large settlement. Oh, okay. But if he was born in the Eastern Bloc, then why is he so obsessed with specifically American culture? What drew him to James Dean? And moreover, why did Greg continue hanging out with him when it became clear his obsessions occasionally turned to abuse, or even violence? James Franco's The Disaster Artist is not concerned with any of these things that make for a good character study, but it does want you to know: James just figured out a decent Wiseau impression, so get him some makeup and I'm sure we can make this poo poo go viral. Wiseau's abuse of his female coworkers is brushed off as a wacky eccentricity, his poor conditions on set as a foible of The Absent-Minded Director! as opposed to an actual working hazard. This isn't to say that the ideal model of this film would #cancel Wiseau, but to illustrate a trend of how Franco's film intentionally skips over the things that make Wiseau's story fascinating, in hopes to instead fit it into the traditional Franco comedy mold. Franco's The Disaster Artist is a real movie caged and tazed until it learns to act more like The Night Before or This is the End, and we don't even get a hilarious corporate hack out of it. James Franco would like you to laugh at Tommy Wiseau's mere existence with him, but doesn't want you to notice that his own filmmaking is barely more competent, with every actual cinematic choice made amateurishly - only elevated by the performances of his Hollywood friends. For his credit, Dave Franco is actually quite good here as Sestero, but everything else is an embarrassing cosplay. But the movie's incompetent cinema could be forgiven - much as Wiseau's own is, deserved or not - if the movie itself wasn't so utterly mean-spirited and vile. Franco's The Disaster Artist is making a stand-up act out of a real human, an utter disregard for the humanity of film in favor of further pushing Wiseau's legend, no matter how poisonous it is not just to Wiseau but to film itself. In the way the film values Wiseau more as a meme than a human being, there is essentially no difference between this and Machinima's mockery, except one is only offered in 480p. The defining moment of Franco's The Disaster Artist is its final scene, where The Room finally premieres in Los Angeles, to a crowd who immensely enjoys it in a way Wiseau didn't intend. He's heartbroken, until Sestero pulls him back into the theater, and asks "they love it, man. You think Hitchcock ever got a response like that?" The question is perfectly timed as an audience repeatedly shouts "DO IT! DO IT!" to footage of Wiseau's character considering suicide. You'll be hard-pressed to find a more macabre moment in cinema this decade. As an audience demands blood for their own "ironic" enjoyment, it's hard not to think of the various other internet personalities whose own path through stardom ended in death. This, according to Franco, is a good thing - that the arts matter more than humanity, and that your celebrity legend matters more than your feelings, even if that legend is a public toilet.
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Dec 23, 2019 07:30
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(crossposted from my Twitter) The worst movie I saw this decade was probably THE EMOJI MOVIE. Foodfight! (which attempted a similar scam) was a glorious fever dream, baffling, inept in new and exciting ways. TEM was a much more insidious failure. It's just the most cynical cash grab and you can see the rotten pustules of late capitalist greed in every scene. It stars a sexual predator, it ham-handedly tries to create an emoji dance, it oozes with clumsy product placement... it is soulless in all the most toxic ways. "Come on now, you have to admit GOTTI was made with even less craft than EMOJI MOVIE..." I hear you say. And... Yes, of course. No argument. But the people who made GOTTI clearly believed in something. Something stupid & douchey, yes, but there's a teeny bit of heart to GOTTI. TEM has no heart, no vision. it is death☠️ Neil Breen movies are made worse, Frank D'Angelo movies are made worse, but The Emoji Movie somehow feels worse to watch. I didn't have even a little fun, I didn't enjoy making fun of it... It just made me feel tired and sad.
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Dec 23, 2019 17:32
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BigglesSWE posted:Nnnooo I was just sort of into WWII stuff as a child (think a lot male history buffs start out there, but fortunately I moved on before I became obsessed with tank statistics). One day it was on the television; I saw enough of it to pester my dad about buying it from Amazon which he eventually did. Still has the DVD back home somewhere. Midway (have only seen the old one) is awful, but Tora, Tora, Tora is great. The way they did it as two productions with American film makers doing the American side of things and Japanese film makers doing their side of things is really cool and unique.
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Dec 24, 2019 05:14
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I think sausage party is even worse than the emoji movie and surprised it's not in this thread more
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Dec 24, 2019 05:38
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Empress Brosephine posted:I think sausage party is even worse than the emoji movie and surprised it's not in this thread more That is a good one, that movie sucked
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Dec 24, 2019 05:45
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I'll give sausage party credit enough for atleast having a subtext Yes it's trash, but like, you can atleast analyse character motivation. Like it's comes together It's not a nonsensical mess like some movies in this thread Has anyone here see "the fanatic" worth seeing as a poo poo movie?
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Dec 24, 2019 06:35
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The worst film I have seen in this decade was easily Paul Blart Mall Cop 2. I originally watched it as an "ironic" experiment and ended up so thoroughly bored and drained that I can't think of another movie quite like it. I think about other bad movies I saw, such as Elysium, a movie so hamfisted and dumb that I walked out on it before it finished (something I almost never do). Yet I look more fondly on Elysium than Kevin James' cinematic bowel movement because, although I finished the latter, it did not elicit any kind of emotional response in me whatsoever. Elysium at least made me feel anger and eye rolling disgust at how simplistic its narrative was. PBMC2 was a vacuum suck of an hour and a half of my life. That time simply disappeared into the void. Certainly there are worse movies on a technical or moral level, but out of everything I've seen this decade, Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 takes the prize as most useless. It isn't even fun to watch ironically.
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Dec 26, 2019 05:32
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Elysium had cool action and it's 'simplistic' narrative was unapologetic communist agitprop so idk it was pretty cool to me.
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Dec 26, 2019 05:53
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I still have a hard time understanding how people who saw and liked District 9 didn’t like Elysium. They’re effectively the same movie.
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Dec 26, 2019 08:00
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Pirate Jet posted:I still have a hard time understanding how people who saw and liked District 9 didn’t like Elysium. They’re effectively the same movie. I feel like D9 had a satirical edge that Elysium lacked. In art, for me at least, being right isn't enough. Also Sharlto Copley is a way better lead than Matt Damon.
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Dec 26, 2019 08:24
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Pirate Jet posted:I still have a hard time understanding how people who saw and liked District 9 didn’t like Elysium. They’re effectively the same movie. D9 has the power armour. 
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Dec 26, 2019 09:54
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From the reactions and scathing reviews it looks like CATS manages to inch in as a strong contender in the 11th hour, just before the decade comes to a close. The reviews appear to be more entertaining than the movie could ever hope to be. "Cats always feels like it’s two seconds away from turning into a furry orgy in a dumpster. That’s the energy you have to sit with for almost two hours." "To assess Cats as good or bad feels like the entirely wrong axis on which to see it. It is, with all affection, a monstrosity" https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/michaelblackmon/cats-movie-reviews
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Dec 26, 2019 10:08
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Julius CSAR posted:Midway (have only seen the old one) is awful, but Tora, Tora, Tora is great. The way they did it as two productions with American film makers doing the American side of things and Japanese film makers doing their side of things is really cool and unique. Generally the old Midway was more highly regarded than Tora Tora Tora, oddly enough. For me they both tend to run together in my head though. The new Midway is poo poo but not outrageously egregious or anything.
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Dec 26, 2019 14:03
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Mantis42 posted:Elysium had cool action and it's 'simplistic' narrative was unapologetic communist agitprop so idk it was pretty cool to me. Yeah I don't get how people are turned off by a movie not being subtle about the moral that poor people don't deserve to die
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Dec 26, 2019 14:08
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Gripweed posted:Yeah I don't get how people are turned off by a movie not being subtle about the moral that poor people don't deserve to die I’ll agree to disagree
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Dec 26, 2019 17:27
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Pirate Jet posted:I don't really do best and worst lists because I don't like ranking things, but I am going to go ahead and copy-paste something I wrote about the movie that absolutely pissed me off the most this decade. Even with this writeup, I don't get why you're so mad at The Disaster Artist. Tommy Wiseau is a weird dick in real life, the movie makes him a weird dick in the movie, but is essentially about two dudes with a dream to make it big, failing spectacularly but making lemonade out of lemons, which is basically what happened. If you look at Best Friends, written by Sestero, you can see a movie that deconstructs Tommy's toxicity and how he uses people, if that's more of what you want to see.
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Dec 26, 2019 18:16
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Elysium is a good film and we need more Elysium's and less Wolf of Wallstreet's
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Dec 27, 2019 00:43
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I think the suggestion that we can just push button, install communism is insulting to the all the adults in the room.
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Dec 27, 2019 00:45
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General Dog posted:I think the suggestion that we can just push button, install communism is insulting to the all the adults in the room. Elysium doesn’t suggest we can. Rather, it says that even if sci-fi bullshit meant we could, we still wouldn’t, which isn’t wrong.
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Dec 27, 2019 01:59
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General Dog posted:I think the suggestion that we can just push button, install communism is insulting to the all the adults in the room. We could basically push button, install free healthcare for everyone. There's a bill somebody in the Senate keeps trying to pass to do that
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Dec 27, 2019 02:02
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Gripweed posted:We could basically push button, install free healthcare for everyone. There's a bill somebody in the Senate keeps trying to pass to do that Yeah Elysium is hilariously direct on being about "healthcare should be for free".
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Dec 27, 2019 02:52
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as we all know, if a film has a moral we agree with, then it's a good film
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Dec 27, 2019 16:00
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Uncle Boogeyman posted:as we all know, if a film has a moral we agree with, then it's a good film Sesame Street is the greatest art created by humankind.
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Dec 27, 2019 16:23
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Darko posted:Even with this writeup, I don't get why you're so mad at The Disaster Artist. Tommy Wiseau is a weird dick in real life, the movie makes him a weird dick in the movie, but is essentially about two dudes with a dream to make it big, failing spectacularly but making lemonade out of lemons, which is basically what happened. But the movie isn’t about Tommy Wiseau the weird dick, it’s about Tommy Wiseau the meme. The film is essentially a play-by-play of the already most well-known, viral moments of the film’s production and has no interest in Wiseau beyond the fact that he made an amusingly bad film, ultimately drawing the conclusion that the film was bad because he was strange (ignoring, once again, that he’s like that because he’s a Polish immigrant who was in a massive car accident.) I have seen Best Friends (well, only part 1) and you’re correct that it’s a significantly more interesting film because of the actual interrogation of what drew the two together.
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Dec 27, 2019 16:25
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X-Ray Pecs posted:Sesame Street is the greatest art created by humankind. I would unironically call it a contender if we're looking purely at positive impact on the surrounding world.
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Dec 27, 2019 23:51
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X-Ray Pecs posted:Sesame Street is the greatest art created by humankind. You're not supposed to say true things while being sarcastic.
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Dec 28, 2019 01:08
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X-Ray Pecs posted:Sesame Street is the greatest art created by humankind. I wouldn't argue against that.
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Dec 28, 2019 01:10
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General Dog posted:I think the suggestion that we can just push button, install communism is insulting to the all the adults in the room. The movie is really complicated, so it’s understandable if you missed it, but what actually happens is that the revolutionary characters sacrifice themselves to steal the complex software that governs law enforcement, immigration, etc. That in itself just disruptively ‘opens the borders’, but it also triggers a police coup where those soldiers loyal to the revolution battle against counterrevolutionary forces. We don’t (yet?) have an Elysium 2 that focusses on the nitty-gritty of how the communist robots fight to secure the means of production in solidarity with the meek, but that’s already kind-of implicit.
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Dec 28, 2019 01:57
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I recall feeling Jurassic world was pretty bad when walking out the theatre, but I don't actually remember much from the movie itself. I remember the margarita lady, the lead lady running in high heels from a t-rex, and for some reason the Jurassic Park theme playing when the camera hovers over this new park, as if Disney v2.0 is somehow this awe-inspiring paradise. Michael Bays Transformers makes my list, partially because of it being jingoistic, sexist and racist garbage. I am aware of the alternate reading of how Bay turned Prime into a sociopathic murderer that doomed Cybertron to a slow inevitable death, and imo that just makes everything worse. The Last Airbender. Don't think I need to explain this one. The Disney Star Wars movies, All of them (except Rogue one). The way this franchise has been mishandled and run into the ground is frankly astonishing. The way they've managed to bungle each movie in a totally different way is in of itself fascinating, but no less depressing. TFA was a hollow reset of the "Evil empire vs Plucky rebels" that was carried entirely by nostalgia and chemistry of the crew, TLJ was a contradictory mess that falls into the "subverting expectations" trap that GoT fell into and then poo poo itself, Solo was even more hollow and relying on nostalgia than TFA was, and the less said of RoS the better. That they managed to gently caress up Star Wars to this extent is frankly amazing. That they wasted the talents of Oscar Isaac, Boyega and Ridley is downright criminal. Rian Johnson and JJ couldn't stop their pissing contest and put aside their egos for long enough to work out a coherent story, and this is the result. Age of Ultron: The second installment of the MCU flagship series, and the second worst. A lot has been said already about the incomprehensible plot and characters, the annoying dialogue, the shoddy cinematography and just all around terrible state of this movie, so I won't rehash all that but suffice to say it definitely deserves to be on the list. It's a poo poo movie, plain and simple. But imo, the absolutely worst movie of the decade is the first MCU Avengers movie. Joss Whedon is such a terrible director, the whole film is shot like a tv series. Imagine CW but with a budget. I mean just look at this monstocity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcgJvJqCdrw Captain America looks like a babyfaced old man fighting loki. It's flat, awkward, and doesn't capture the action very well. There's another scene after the avengers leave their jet, where they awkwardly run past a car that I tried to find, that just looks atrocious. But not only does the movie look like poo poo, his take on the characters is horrible too! His horrible sexist views on women manage to filter through as the only the only avenger to be utterly terrified when Hulk gets loose is Black Widow, and also as a bonus gets called a oval office. Better than Iron Man making a joke about raping someone I guess, but still pretty loving bad. And Captain America argues, with no loving trace of irony, that they shouldn't ask too many questions and just follow orders. Way to parrot nazi apologism, embodiment of America! Maybe that bit was on purpose though, it would certainly explain this scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFMY99NXOgc Captain Americas ability to inspire comes directly from his ability to fight. Might makes right, literally, and that's the only metric cops respect. If I had thought Whedon understood the point he was making there I might have respected the bold choice to make Cap a secret fascist, but there's very little indicating this was intentional. But the absolutely worst crime of this movie is that it set the standard going forward for the MCU. Fun witty dialogue with little to no content, just have the action figures talk funny to each other is all you need to fill the seats, and why gently caress with a winning concept? Words cannot describe how much I dislike Whedons Avengers, it's toxic influence has stretched far beyond the mediocre franchise of the MCU. It's probably the biggest reason Star Wars is in such a pathetic state, because Disney just assumed they could use its Marvel Formula on Star Wars. Just come up with any dumb halfbaked idea, soak it in nostalgia and fanservice, throw some "fun" dialogue and you're set! Just imagine if they'd hired an actually talented director, maybe the next 26 marvel movies would have had some sort of character and pushed the envelope a bit instead of being stale theme park rides without a shred of originality. Whedons one two punch of Avengers and Age of Ultron definitely belong in this thread, and if you disagree you're part of the problem.
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Dec 28, 2019 05:44
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None of those are very good, but I don’t think you must have watched many movies (and that’s fine)
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Dec 28, 2019 07:28
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McCloud posted:(except Rogue one) You misspelled "especially". I caught up with Rogue One recently and was flabbergasted that it didn't go down as a notorious, embarrassing failure, something that instantly discredits the very concept of doing genre-shifting spinoffs of the Star Wars franchise. The only way I can really describe it in one sentence is that it's not even a real movie, it's some kind of extremely expensive pretend-movie. It completely falls apart any time anything Star Wars- related is on screen (which would be the majority of the runtime) until the climax where it finally seems to at least become an earnest Star Wars flick. Throw in a random guy in a Darth Vader costume and those shameless CGI doubles of dead actors that couldn't have been creepier if they had actually dug up Peter Cushing and Carrie Fisher's corpses and manipulated them on set like marionette puppets and you've got one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen committed to film. Was this actually a joke and I just missed that? Because it feels like some kind of comedy skit where the premise is "wouldn't it be crazy if they made a movie like this haha" except it's two hours long.
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Dec 28, 2019 08:20
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It’s kind of boring for a lot of the runtime and the characters are flat, but it’s the best shot of the Disney Star Wars movie and the ending action on Scariff/in space is good enough that it leaves you with a good taste in your mouth. The Vader stuff is fanservicey, but the fan service is at least just icing on the cake, rather than being baked into its very DNA like it is with The Force Awakens.
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Dec 28, 2019 08:35
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I don't know if my main point came through. I think Rogue One doesn't work on a very fundamental level. It might look nice in parts (and really cheap in others - it's weirdly inconsistent) but it's shot like some kind of war drama whose mise en scene is repeatedly shattered over and over again because of the inescapable presence of all the kitschy Star Wars iconography. You see this little girl crying in the middle of a battle with stormtroopers (stormtroopers for god's sake) and it's hilarious because war isn't terrible in Star Wars! War in Star Wars is fan-tastic! I can imagine one might say that this is the very notion that Rogue One is trying to deconstruct, but I'm sorry, the genie is out of the bottle, humpty dumpty has fallen, etc. Like, I've never seen Detective Pikachu, but I feel pretty comfortable assuming they had at least a modicum of self-awareness and did not actually try to present it like it was Chinatown or something.
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Dec 28, 2019 10:11
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SidneyIsTheKiller posted:Like, I've never seen Detective Pikachu, but I feel pretty comfortable assuming they had at least a modicum of self-awareness and did not actually try to present it like it was Chinatown or something. I went to see Detective Pikachu with my fiancé, who loves Pokemon, and I didn't understand a God Damned thing happening on screen, but I did enjoy it.
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Dec 28, 2019 13:22
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Early on in Rogue One, the lady says that she doesn't trust people. Towards the end, she says the other characters are her family. That's it, those two lines of dialogue are everything the movie does to give the characters arcs. Also, if you think about it's role in the series Rogue One is stunning stupid. In the first Star Wars, the rebels got the plans and went over them to find a weakness of any kind. and the only they could find was the exhaust port. If you recall, the exhaust port plan is to fly straight at the Death Star, through all the Tie Fighters and anti-air fire. Then fly along the trench for a long time, where the Rebellion fighters are basically sitting ducks for the pursing Tie Fighters. Then shoot a torpedo into the exhaust port, a shot so difficult experienced pilots flat out said it was impossible. If they missed, they had to loop back around and do another run. In the end, the only reason it worked was a random space ship they weren't expecting showed up at the last second to shoo away the Tie Fighters so literally their last pilot had plenty of time to prep for taking the shot, and also oh yeah it turned out that pilot was a secret wizard. The entire plan would not have worked if not for the fact that unbeknownst to them all, one of their pilots had magical powers. And then Rogue One says that that was the plan all along. The exhaust port was an intentionally included flaw that Mads Mikkelson designed. He designed a flaw that required literal magic to take advantage of.
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Dec 28, 2019 13:29
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It’s not impossible though. Luke used to bullseye womprats with his T-16.
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Dec 28, 2019 13:52
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The best part of Rogue One was the back-to-back scenes of both of Jynn’s father figures dying. Extremely cheap emotional ploy.SidneyIsTheKiller posted:Like, I've never seen Detective Pikachu, but I feel pretty comfortable assuming they had at least a modicum of self-awareness and did not actually try to present it like it was Chinatown or something. One of the best scenes of Detective Pikachu is Pikachu, having separated from his human partner for various reasons, walking down a road and mournfully singing the original Pokémon theme song to himself. It knows what it is.
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Dec 28, 2019 14:52
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