Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for saying the best day of my life had more to do with my ex-girlfriend than my wife?
My wife said that since the best day of my life isn’t the day we met or our wedding day, hopefully the best day of my life would be when our first child will be born in March. I told her that this is getting silly and that will probably be one of the top five days of my life.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for saying the best day of my life had more to do with my ex-girlfriend than my wife?

AWarmBody posted:

The day I met the woman I lost my virginity to was better than our wedding day! Losing my virginity is more important than the birth of my first child!

Don't you see? Without that special lady, I would've been a VIRGIN FOR LIFE.

QuarkJets posted:

before textiles everyone enjoyed perfect weather all the time, weather is an illusion created by the fashion industry to sell more outfits. that's why animals don't wear clothes, they're immune to the weather illusions

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for acting like a conspiracy theorist to get out of political arguments with my Dad?

My Dad loves to have political arguments/“discussions” with me and other members of the family. I honestly think he does not care about half these issues and just wants to have fights with me and other people in the family. I have tried to simply opt out of them, but my Dad will get upset at me for “not participating with the family dynamic” and “never talking to him.” I also don’t really want him to have these discussions with other members of my family, since they almost always end up in hurt feelings. I’ve been looking for a redirect for a while.

I read a post online on doubling down whenever someone says a conspiracy theory, for example if someone says “they faked the moon landing” you say “haha, you sucker, you believe the moon is real?” I decided to implement the strategy after getting into way too many political arguments and upsetting myself and everyone around me.

My Dad saw something about climate change and started talking about how the Chinese government partnered with Obama to make it all up. I truly did not want to get into this political discussion. Instead I said, “oh, you’ve heard that, well get this” and discussed my new theory about how the federal government has created a tornado machine to set on people who want to vote Republican in the next election. He was truly flabbergasted at how stupid this was and decided to stop talking to me about this. It was wonderful. I’ve been doing it even more, and I haven’t had a political argument in a whole month.

This Christmas, he had a doozy planned. My aunt and her wife are feminist and very pro-choice. At the dinner table, he tried to do a toast to the “death of Planned Parenthood.” Let me note that he is pro-choice, really doesn’t care about this issue, and has said so several times. I think he just wanted to start a fight for the sport of it. Time and place! I said, “oh, thank God you mentioned it, I have to tell you this news I learned” and I talked about how Planned Parenthood does not in fact perform abortions, since it’s physically impossible, but instead removes entire uteruses and replaces them with dog uteruses.

I received a lecture about “not taking people’s political views seriously” from my Mom. I said it was just a strategy I use to diffuse political discussions. My Mom said, “you’re just making yourself look dismissive at best and insane at worst.”

Beach Bum posted:

Fuckin' way to go, champ. Eject, you're done.

Comedy option: double down and have a competitive threesome

quote:

I posted this in RA but the only advice I was given was to break up with him because he deserves better. I don't deny I am in the wrong here but I want to keep my relationship and move past this if we can.

To cut a long story short, after meeting my boyfriend for the first time my brother pointed out that he looks a lot like a really unpleasant historical figure. Now that he's mentioned it I am struggling to "unsee" it and it is affecting our intimacy. My brother's a jerk for saying it and I feel terrible for letting it get to me but I don't know how to stop it from bothering me.

I need to emphasize that my boyfriend hasn't changed his appearance recently, he's looked this way since we started dating and we haven't had problems with attraction and sex before now. He's in great physical shape, dresses well, and takes care of grooming/hygiene more than the average guy I guess. The problem isn't with any particular aspect of his appearance so much as the fact that he looks like this guy.

It's not like changing one thing would be a quick fix (e.g. shave your beard off it makes you look like Lincoln) but I do think some small changes would reduce the similarity. Like wearing more casual clothes and getting a haircut. But I am hesitant to bring this whole issue up because I worry he will think I'm not attracted to him because of some physical attributes he has no control over, like his height, when that isn't the case.

I don't want to break up, I want to fix this issue at my end. Do I talk honestly about this and risk him getting offended or hurting his feelings? Do I suggest he changes his look up a bit without mentioning why? Do I say nothing at all, and is there a way I can fix this without asking him to change? I totally understand that this problem is stupid, he has done nothing wrong, and I am the rear end in a top hat here.

TL;DR my boyfriend looks like a repellent historical figure and I'm having problems with intimacy after this was pointed out.

quote:

Not Hitler but you're pretty close. Really close.

I guess it's relevant in the sense that it's someone who is universally reviled not just someone controversial or "love them or hate them" like Trump or something. But the problem isn't so much who he looks like as that I'm struggling with sexual attraction, to keep it to the bare basics of the situation.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for acting like a conspiracy theorist to get out of political arguments with my Dad?

I received a lecture about “not taking people’s political views seriously” from my Mom. I said it was just a strategy I use to diffuse political discussions. My Mom said, “you’re just making yourself look dismissive at best and insane at worst.”

quote:

AITA for telling my grandparent's "Ok Boomer" to shut down a conversation whenever they are being conservative and homophobic?

My grandparents get upset whenever I tell them that after they start making homophobic comments about me and my boyfriend, transphobic comments about me transitioning (I'm 19 and finally started transitioning), or just other bs that they as white conservative boomers believe in. My parents don't know that I've been telling my grandparents this since it always happens over FaceTime when they call me and I don't think they would approve of how I've decided to play Cold War with my relatives. They are mormon too which adds another layer of disapproval. AITA? What's the best way for me to continue handling this situation?

Pinecone Sample posted:

I (24F) am struggling to maintain attraction to my bf (31M) due to his resemblance to awful historical figure

chitoryu12 posted:

carry on then posted:

not having any relationship until 22 is already a huge red flag that only gets larger as time goes on, he got extremely lucky

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for saying the best day of my life had more to do with my ex-girlfriend than my wife?

quote:

We have a 9 year old together. She had breast cancer (mastectomy and chemo) but recovered fairly quickly. She is remarried and has been for 4 years now.

She talks a lot when we do talk about the chances of it coming back which she says is high.

Honestly I didn’t believe she had cancer at first. But missing boobs are hard to fake and our son went to come appointments with her.

My mom’s friend had breast cancer recently and she said that if you take the meds after it is far less likely to return.

Now my ex is talking about some tests for ovarian cancer.

I am exhausted by the cancer talk. Every email and a list of things she needs me to do just in case something happens and have I done those. It is a long list of meeting with our son’s teachers and his special education teacher and his therapist.

Our son is a little bit special needs/ has some medical issues.

She handed me a binder to look over and told me to look it over.

I just don’t feel the need to study a binder for no reason. She wants me to know things about our son in the event I have to jump in and take over. She likes to remind me how I never even helped during her first treatment.

She has started trying to quiz me on things about her son. “ What is his doctors name?” , “ Where is the pharmacy we use?” Etc.

I travel a lot for work so I admit I don’t know as much as I should. I gave the binder to my mom so she is prepared to step in and help when necessary. She knows she can call my mom whenever but she won’t.

Look if something really happened to her or incapacitated her I would step in. I have the binder now and I would learn the things.

I got upset the other after getting yet another email asking if I could tag along to his next doctors appointment so I could meet the doctor in the event I need to step in. She mentioned cancer again and I lost it. I texted her and told her to cut it out with the cancer talk. It was becoming too much for me and I am so tired of hearing about it. I told her she was unlikely to get it again if she took her medicine and that she was being dramatic. Then I told her I would answer no further messages containing the word cancer unless she found out she was actually dying. I told her all cancer talk should go to her husband. I am sorry she had cancer but I can’t be her friend. I later ended up not being able to make it to the appointment.

Full disclosure: these emails and texts aren’t daily. Probably once every two or three weeks but they are very wordy.

I recently talked to my brother who works in the medical profession and he says that she may have had an aggressive cancer but there is no way to know.

I have been told I have issue with dealing with the emotions of other people and may come off as cold so I could use some thoughts of whether I am an rear end in a top hat and should maybe it approach it another way.

DaveWoo posted:

AITA for asking my ex wife to cool it with the cancer talk.

...

I have been told I have issue with dealing with the emotions of other people and may come off as cold so I could use some thoughts of whether I am an rear end in a top hat and should maybe it approach it another way.

carry on then posted:

not having any relationship until 22 is already a huge red flag that only gets larger as time goes on, he got extremely lucky

DaveWoo posted:

AITA for asking my ex wife to cool it with the cancer talk.

theme park cryptid posted:

therobit posted:

If "OK Boomer" makes you mad enough that it shuts you down, you are owning the gently caress out of yourself. Also if they dislike this kid so much for being trans or gay or whatever, maybe they could end their totally optional Skype calls. If they DON'T have a big enough problem to cut contact with the kid, then they should man and wo-man the gently caress up and get over their bigotry for their grandkid.

quote:

First time posting here and on phone because i need a vent right now

For info i am from europe and english is not my first language

I (F24) have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend (M29) for about 2,5 years now, my first relationship to last this long. My parents adore him, especially my father. For info, my mother is rather conservative.

Unbeknownst to my parents me and my boyfriend, who i will now call A, have started this out as an open concept, because i said i will NEVER be in a monogamous relationship again. He soon closed the relationship because he was not feeling well with it and i have since tried for nearly two years to make some things for opening it up work. I have since moved together with him in a city on the other side of the country.

A bit more than half a year ago i got to know B (M19), who is from my hometown area, and we hit of reeeeeeeeeally well. I talked to A about it and he went and said i should do what i want since right now we are both unhappy (because i am suffering) and we might as well try making this work. I had my 6month anniversary as an official relationship with B a few days ago. He has moved to our town and all, we are pretty serious with each other and i am somehow keeping both relationships rather steady and well.

I dropped my studies to change my major recently and had to talk to my parents about money. They said "A earns money and can pay for you" which i found rediculous as we are not married and he is paying my rent already. This and the fact that i was ALWAYS open and honest with my parents led to me telling them about B, who they had actually met once already.

Heres where i might be the rear end in a top hat. My parents did not take it well. While my father tries hard to be understanding and not judge me for "hurting" A, who he wants to be his son in law, my mom cant wrap her head around it. At first she was googling polyamory and asked a lot of questions and i was quite happy with that. But she just now, when talking, made clear that she does not want to talk, hear, or even THINK about B. I am very hurt by this, as she makes a point out of ignoring the whole existence of the person i love.

Am i the rear end in a top hat for being mad at her about this?

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for forcing my parents to accept my polygamous relationship?


The language of these poly people always slays me

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for forcing my parents to accept my polygamous relationship?

quote:

I (F24) have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend (M29)

A bit more than half a year ago i got to know B (M19)

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for acting like a conspiracy theorist to get out of political arguments with my Dad?

My Dad loves to have political arguments/“discussions” with me and other members of the family. I honestly think he does not care about half these issues and just wants to have fights with me and other people in the family. I have tried to simply opt out of them, but my Dad will get upset at me for “not participating with the family dynamic” and “never talking to him.” I also don’t really want him to have these discussions with other members of my family, since they almost always end up in hurt feelings. I’ve been looking for a redirect for a while.

I read a post online on doubling down whenever someone says a conspiracy theory, for example if someone says “they faked the moon landing” you say “haha, you sucker, you believe the moon is real?” I decided to implement the strategy after getting into way too many political arguments and upsetting myself and everyone around me.

My Dad saw something about climate change and started talking about how the Chinese government partnered with Obama to make it all up. I truly did not want to get into this political discussion. Instead I said, “oh, you’ve heard that, well get this” and discussed my new theory about how the federal government has created a tornado machine to set on people who want to vote Republican in the next election. He was truly flabbergasted at how stupid this was and decided to stop talking to me about this. It was wonderful. I’ve been doing it even more, and I haven’t had a political argument in a whole month.

This Christmas, he had a doozy planned. My aunt and her wife are feminist and very pro-choice. At the dinner table, he tried to do a toast to the “death of Planned Parenthood.” Let me note that he is pro-choice, really doesn’t care about this issue, and has said so several times. I think he just wanted to start a fight for the sport of it. Time and place! I said, “oh, thank God you mentioned it, I have to tell you this news I learned” and I talked about how Planned Parenthood does not in fact perform abortions, since it’s physically impossible, but instead removes entire uteruses and replaces them with dog uteruses.

I received a lecture about “not taking people’s political views seriously” from my Mom. I said it was just a strategy I use to diffuse political discussions. My Mom said, “you’re just making yourself look dismissive at best and insane at worst.”

The Bramble posted:

Eliot Rodgers go back to your grave.

carry on then posted:

i'm sorry you missed your chance, but we have these rules for a reason and it's to protect women

Pinecone Sample posted:

AITA for forcing my parents to accept my polygamous relationship?


The language of these poly people always slays me

carry on then posted:

i'm sorry you missed your chance, but we have these rules for a reason and it's to protect women

mind the walrus posted:

Your gimmick sucks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTsdKycVZZ4
Poly -schaden is the best. It always feels like they're waiting for you to be impressed with them.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for acting like a conspiracy theorist to get out of political arguments with my Dad?

Pinecone Sample posted:

I (24F) am struggling to maintain attraction to my bf (31M) due to his resemblance to awful historical figure

therobit posted:

Who TF outside of history majors and nazis is familiar enough with what the non-hitler nazi leadership looked like to be all "your boyfriend looks SO familiar. Where have I seen him before? OH I KNOW! He's a deadringer for JOSPEH GOEBBELS!?"

therobit posted:

Who TF outside of history majors and nazis is familiar enough with what the non-hitler nazi leadership looked like to be all "your boyfriend looks SO familiar. Where have I seen him before? OH I KNOW! He's a deadringer for JOSPEH GOEBBELS!?"

quote:

My partner of 2 years has a kind of 'tradition' where she and 2 of her male friends go on holiday together once a year. They went to Lebanon last year and Cuba the year before.

The problem I have is that one of the guys is her ex.

I feel that I am very easygoing and understanding in many ways, I in fact have a couple of exes that I keep in touch with and meet for a catch up now and then.

I have never had a problem with her hanging out with this guy, they often go out to parties and she will even go to his house to hang out for the evening.

I fully trust my SO and do not believe she will cheat on me.

BUT

I feel I need to draw the line somewhere, and this is where it feels right for me.

I would never try to control the behaviour of an SO, and I have made it very clear that I will not try to influence her decision other than telling her my feelings. Call this emotional blackmail if you will, but I think she has the right to know in advance, the consequences of actions she may choose to take.

Am I justified in presenting this ultimatum or should I be more compromising? I feel that I am already permissive of many thing that lots of people would have a huge problem with.

I will accept her decision either way.

TLDR - Am I the rear end in a top hat for breaking up if my SO goes on holiday with her ex?

quote:

OliviaPresteign

244 points 1 day ago
How long ago did they date, and why were you okay with it the last two years but not this year?

quote:

[–]barnaby9999

[S] 228 points 1 day ago
They have known each other for 10 years and I thought the intimacy between them was a long time ago. Recently found out that they were having casual sex less than a year prior to us getting together.

To be honest I suppressed my jealousy to begin with but it hasn't subsided at all.