Snow Cone Capone posted:

Neopets was run by Scientologists

fauna posted:

i got account after account frozen going on righteous crusades against the afghanistan war on the neopets forums. it was not a topic they allowed discussion of but i was determined to discuss it, it was the only outlet i had to tell a bunch of mostly-americans they were a pile of poo poo and well, neopets accounts are free

Pick posted:

hrobi was a woman in, I think her 50s or something who was friends with the Neopets founders and so they'd cheat for her so hard and so obviously that at one time she had 5 neopets (where the hard limit for every other player was 4).

fauna posted:

i got account after account frozen

Snow Cone Capone posted:

Neopets was run by Scientologists

quote:

Neopets was a lot darker pre-2004 when they really decided to push the site marketing to young kids. There are still a few leftover traces here and there of darker site lore.

The Jelly Chia, which consumed its creator who made it to be a “friend.” Even the Chocolate Factory’s description feels a little off-putting: “Nobody goes out, nobody goes in, but we sell chocolate by the truckload!”

Older site villains/antagonists in general. Vira and the Monoceraptor are others that come to mind. A few of the really old drawings in the Gallery of Evil are also pretty drat creepy. The “Enter” page depicts the creature on the book cover eating a Pikachu.

Dr. Sloth may be a caricature of one of the early big investors of Neopets, who was a Scientologist. Adam and Donna had to fight hard to keep Scientology themes out of the site, which they strived to keep free of irl religion and politics.

The prey/predator relationship between Chias and Lupes. Lupe treats are implied to be made of Chias or at least Chia-flavored.

A couple of the Neogreetings are surprisingly dark or sad for being, well, greeting cards. Someone linked a particularly disturbing one farther down in this post.

Multiple Spooky Food items seem to be made out of pet parts, most notably the Sun Dried Techo Claw and the Blumaroo Pie(?) Steak. The descriptions of these items are pretty creepy too. What goes bounce...bounce...whir... splat?

The staff Survivor event (sorry, can’t remember the name right now) from the very early days of the site depicted TNT members being killed off in comical but very dark ways

Not overtly dark in the way of the above nor something left behind from ancient Neo, but some paintbrush colors have pretty disturbing implications. Imagine making a pet permanently depressed, instantly geriatric, or undead just to fit the aesthetic you want.

Probably more things I’ll add to this list later if I can think of them more dark Neo stuff below, and I added a couple of details to the ones above.

The Turmaculus. You have to successfully feed your beloved Petpet to it to win the avatar.

Pets beg and plead “Don’t leave me here to die” on the Abandon page. Not sure if this is still a thing, but the first and only time I tried abandoning a pet, it wouldn’t work. Having to refresh all those times for it to go through is the pet begging not to be pounded.

The Random Event that says something like “your bank account is empty, all your items are gone, and all your pets are sick and starving...oh wait it was just a bad dream.” Absolutely heart attack-inducing the first time you encounter it.

Pick posted:

The Random Event that says something like “your bank account is empty, all your items are gone, and all your pets are sick and starving...oh wait it was just a bad dream.” Absolutely heart attack-inducing the first time you encounter it.

quote:

The story began with the Neopets team taking a well earned break in a Ski Lodge. The insides of which appeared to point to Dr. Sloth being a former owner of it. The Thursday after arriving however, disaster struck, and Electric Blue Monkey was found dead at the bottom of the stairs. Rumours began to circulate that he had in fact been pushed, rather than falling. The following Monday, Black Widow was then found dead in the same location, having been strangled. This confirmed that a killer seemed to be loose among the Neopets team. The race was on to find out who. Over the coming weeks, the killer struck again.

Suspects

Bubbles was found dead in the Dining Room on Thursday of Week 2. She had been bludgeoned with a candlestick. It was also discovered at this time that the phone line to the mansion had been cut.
Cookie was then found dead in Week 3, crushed under a pile of cookware in the Kitchen.
Cupcake was then found dead in the Kitchen on Monday of Week 4, being impaled with spears.
Jasmine died on Thursday during Week 4 as her heel broke and she fell backwards, hitting her head in the Guest Bedroom. There was some confusion as to whether this was the work of the murderer, or actually an accident.
At the beginning of Week 5, Scarlet O'Lara was found drowned in the Swimming Pool.
Later that week Snowflake was also found dead in the Swimming Pool, her head having become caught in the drainage system.
During Week 6, Pop Tart (Donna) fell victim to an Exploding Potion in the Hall.
Later that week, Sweets died, taking an anvil to the head in the Dining Room. Shortly after, there were reports of her ghost haunting the area.
On Tuesday of Week 7, Mr. Plaid was found with his head cooking on the stove in the Kitchen.
This was quickly followed on Friday, with Dr. Thor frozen in ice at the same location.
In Week 8, Bye-Gon Jinx was found in the Swimming Pool, cut in half with his own lightsaber.
Shortly after, Snot was also found in the Swimming Pool, eaten alive by Utility Fish. Once again, a ghost of Snot started to appear in the area he had been murdered.
In Week 9, J. Boogie was impaled with Bye-Gon Jinx's old lightsaber, momentarily identifying Monster Boy as the killer before his death.
The remaining staff members tied Monster Boy to a chair in the Library and kept him guarded, but on Thursday things took an unexpected turn. Monster Boy was flattened by a giant Mystery Island Tiki idol.
Idol

The following week, Wolverine was hung in the Library on Monday.
On Thursday, Mr. Insane was found in the same location, poisoned with what he thought to be Kraku Berry Juice.
After beginning to investigate the murders, Lazarus was killed at the beginning of Week 11. The Swimming Pool's thermostat was turned up, boiling him to death.
On Thursday, Mister Pickles was found decapitated in the Cellar.
Having found the body of Mister Pickles, Dom Dread was then himself pickled the following week.
Dave Scorcheski followed not long after, taking a meat cleaver to the head.
In Week 13, Mr. Roboto reached his end, found ripped to pieces in the Kitchen.
Later, Rhiannon wandered into the mansion's secret Underground Lab, and was pushed off a cliff, falling to her death.
Tiger Catcher followed on Monday of Week 14, sucked down the drains in the Swimming Pool.
On Thursday, Jimmy James was found in the Cellar, crushed to death by a falling wine rack.
During Week 15, Mr. Black was bludgeoned to death with an ornamental animal head in the Bedroom.
This was swiftly followed with the demise of the Big Spender in the Kitchen on Thursday.
The remaining staff members decided to eat dinner together in Week 16, only to find that the main course was the severed head of Mr. Shankly.
With only three staff members left, the killer was finally revealed in Week 16 as Number Six (Adam) was dropped off a cliff in the Secret Lab by Maverick. The Beader saw the murder, and tried to make good her escape. Thankfully, quick thinking allowed her to activate a trap and contain Maverick.

Pentaro posted:

Some goon in another thread made this square versions so Slack doesn't turn them all into a blurry mess:

Iron Prince posted:

all this talk about abe and no one posted the thread where g0m mercilessly owned him for 30 days straight


https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3578905

quote:

Story
The story focused around 13 Neopets staff members being captured by the island natives on Mystery Island. The cannibal coconut people sacrificed 12 of the staff members to their god, Mumbo Pango. The last remaining staff member would be set free and returned to Neopia, with a statue in their honour being constructed in the village. In order, the victims of Mumbo Pango were:

Monster Boy, who was taken off shore to be killed by Mumbo Pango.
Styrofoam Bob, who managed to escape his captors, only to be caught again by Mumbo Pango.
Cookie, who fell off a cliff and lost her glasses before being found by Mumbo Pango.
Zurvix, who had his flesh melted by some form of gas.
Paper Dragon, who was burned at the stake by coconut men.
Number Six (Adam), who was tied to a raft and thrown over a waterfall.
Mr. Plaid, who was catapulted into the sun.
Electric Blue Monkey, who fell into a swamp and was attacked by Mumbo Pango, disguised as a crocodile.
Dr. Monroe, who was eaten alive by scorpions.
Bye-Gon Jinx, who was impaled with a spear.
Mr. Roboto, who foolishly challenged Mumbo Pango to a duel, only to have his armour hit by lightning.
Tiger Catcher, who managed to escape the island on a hover scooter, only to be pursued and flattened by a giant coconut.
This left Pop Tart (Donna) as the only survivor, and therefore as the winner!

Participation
This plot allowed users to vote for their favourite staffer to survive. No trophies or plot specific awards were given out afterwards.

Dumb Lowtax posted:

According to a mod in there, Cuntellectual is in the queue to be hopefully perma'd for today's stunningly embarrassing display of concern trolling to harass the trans thread, while unconvincingly and falsely claiming ignorance about what FYAD is.

But I'd like to just point out some context for this post by ArfJason.

Two FYAD posts from Cuntellectual this year and 3 more posts in 2016 (in the IK selection thread nonetheless) is precisely what it looks like when a FYAD regular accidentally leaves their alt account signed in while replying in the pink forum.

Obviously. A rando account that only literally only posts in games otherwise has no explanation for jumping in the Trans thread while claiming to know intimate details of FYAD drama.

Jack Daniels even immediately probed them both times in 2016, for accidentally using the wrong account. Going by their post history, it's the alt account that a FYAD regular used exclusively for games forum posting, to build up post history in there as their cover for whenever it was time to bring that alt out. Really basic online griefing trick. They hosed up once or twice but no one found those needles in a haystack until a mod decided to do a lot of manual digging after a serious callout.

You, a leading FYAD regular, know that this was a case of a FYAD alt account, and that it often happens that way by accident. Someone as close friends with the others likely knows exactly whose alt it was that just got got. Stop coming in here to bullshit the rest of us. Kindly show yourself the door and stay the gently caress out of these threads where you're constantly 100% manipulative, just like that poster in the Trans thread was today, instead of immediately barging in to do damage control for how their story gets retold.

Sestze posted:

Actually very good points, and it is something special that a group of FYAD regulars came in to shout this post down and post about neopets for five pages in an attempt to drop the conversation

AMISH FRIED PIES posted:

I mean, this is literally one of things straight out of the playbook they used to get QCS shuttered, so only people who haven't been paying attention would be surprised.

Crocoswine posted:

for the love of god please reopen QCS this is loving unbearable

Crocoswine posted:

for the love of god please reopen QCS this is loving unbearable

ASenileAnimal posted:

john carpenters the thing but everyones yelling about fyad

Sestze posted:

Actually very good points, and it is something special that a group of FYAD regulars came in to shout this post down and post about neopets for five pages in an attempt to drop the conversation

Crocoswine posted:

for the love of god please reopen QCS this is loving unbearable

Iron Prince posted:

all this talk about abe and no one posted the thread where g0m mercilessly owned him for 30 days straight


https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3578905

jesus posted:

The Story of Abe (2014)
[PG] 95 min - Documentary | Drama | Snuff Film | Abesploitation | Viral Video

Rating: 8.0/10 from 256,452 users

Director: me

Tagline: gently caress you Abe. I'm going to kick your rear end nerd.

Synopsis: This brutal exposé on the life of the Something Awful forum's moderator known only as "Abe" tells the story of a broken man's life; using a combination of real footage, interviews, and dramatized recreations of actual events to basically fill up the entire running time of the film.

Cast:
Abe ... Himself
Daniel Day-Lewis ... Abe
Abe Vigoda ...Old Abe
Big pile of oily rags and tar ... Abe's wife
(more...)


Did you Know?
Trivia:

Director's Trademark: Footage of Abe eating overdubbed with sounds of rotten apples being hucked into a bog and loud, exaggerated lip smacking noises

During days when Abe was scheduled for interviews but was unable to attend, a replacement was fashioned out of a disused garbage can with a frowny face on it. The replacement was destroyed upon its discovery by Abe, who cited as the cause of his actions "The unherent (sic) treachery of all who wear my face."
(more...)


Goofs:

Incorrectly regarded as goofs: While burial at a crossroads would be unneccesary, it would still probably kill Abe.

Crew or equipment visible: During the Abe's birth scene, Abe can be seen through an open window attempting to pour milk into a cereal-filled urinal and getting mad.

Incorrectly regarded as goofs: The drainage system of a urinal makes it impossible to hold milk for the length of time required to finish a bowl of cereal. However, it is important to remember that Abe is a dumbass who eats paint and lives in a gigantic hamster ball.

Factual errors: Cooties is not transmissable via raised eyebrows.

Anachronisms: abe's brain!!
(more...)


Quotes:

Abe: After that, of course, I was never allowed to back into any of their locations. But in a way, that was a blessing, because it was then that I found- then that I found- [coughs up a half pound of matted hair]
(more...)

UCS Hellmaker posted:

ASenileAnimal posted:

john carpenters the thing but everyones yelling about fyad

Iron Prince posted:

all this talk about abe and no one posted the thread where g0m mercilessly owned him for 30 days straight


https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3578905

Sestze posted:

Actually very good points, and it is something special that a group of FYAD regulars came in to shout this post down and post about neopets for five pages in an attempt to drop the conversation