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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 22:47
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- Shwoo
- Jul 21, 2011
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Well, all right then.
Iceberg time.
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Jan 10, 2020 07:19
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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Iceberg, dead ahead!
quote:
You race toward the iceberg. It’s already a yard from the snowfield. You flip the spear onto the berg. Then you jump.
You hit the berg headfirst, skidding on your stomach.
Made it!
Back on the snowfield, Andy is paralyzed with fear.
“Come on!” you urge. You hold your hand out.
Andy glances back. The white creature is only a few yards away.
“Here goes nothing!” Andy shouts. He jumps, barely landing on the berg. You grab his hand and pull him to safety.
The berg begins to move faster. You’re afraid you’ll be swept off into the freezing water. You and Andy lie flat on the ice, digging into it with your fingernails.
“Where is it taking us?” Andy cries.
“Somewhere warm, I hope – like Iceland!” you reply.
All around, you see nothing but cold white ice.
And then you see something else: a huge shadow gliding across the ice.
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You glance up to see what’s making the shadow.
You wish you hadn’t.
Above you, a pelican slowly flaps its wings. But this is no ordinary pelican! The mammoth creature has a wingspan the width of a football field. Its pouched beak could hold your entire house.
“I don’t believe it,” you gasp, rubbing your eyes.
“Me either,” Andy agrees. “Pelicans aren’t Arctic birds!”
That wasn’t exactly what you meant...
The bird swoops down to the water and scoops half a ton of fish into its huge mouth. Then it spots you. It begins circling.
It looks as if you’re dessert.
“I wish this game could end!” you wail.
But you know it can’t. You know it’s not a game. It’s real.
The pelican flaps closer. Its huge beak opens wide.
quote:
You have nowhere to hide on the iceberg.
You’ve got to do something quickly! But what?
Jump in the water? No, you’ll freeze.
How about throwing snowballs at the big bird?
Or – you suddenly remember the spear.
Maybe you ought to attack the monster bird with Andy’s spear.
Make up your mind before you get gobbled!
Throw snowballs on PAGE 20.
Use the spear on PAGE 100.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Stuck with a massive repair bill after digging our way through the VR machine.
Fed to a litter of Abominable Ice Puppies.
Escaped the virtual world, but swapped bodies with Andy in the process.
Accidentally caused a cave-in with a magnifying glass and a compass.
Forced to serve snowballs for an ice-tennis game for a hundred years.
Achievements
A Touch of Frostbite: Escaped the virtual world and gained the power to freeze anything we touch.
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Jan 11, 2020 04:48
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- Maugrim
- Feb 16, 2011
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I eat your face
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Spear it, because the obviously non-stupid answer is sure to get us killed stupidly.
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Jan 11, 2020 08:57
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Let's make us a shish kebird with that spear.
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Jan 11, 2020 11:02
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- Duderclese
- Aug 30, 2003
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I'm the gay younger brother of UnkleBoB and Buddha Stalin
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Blind that bird, with Science! snowballs!
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Jan 11, 2020 12:28
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Throw the snowballs!
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Jan 11, 2020 23:09
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- AnAnonymousIdiot
- Sep 14, 2013
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You know, that compass looks really good to have now...
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Jan 11, 2020 23:42
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- Maugrim
- Feb 16, 2011
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I eat your face
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We are stronger than Andy
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Jan 11, 2020 23:43
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- Shwoo
- Jul 21, 2011
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Throw a snowball, because I vaguely remember how that path might turn out and I need to know if that was a fever dream or not.
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Jan 12, 2020 05:30
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Snowball.
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Jan 12, 2020 14:26
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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Throw a snowball, because I vaguely remember how that path might turn out and I need to know if that was a fever dream or not.
Let's be honest, it'd be quicker to list the GYGB endings that aren't indistinguishable from fever dreams from the ones that are.
quote:
“Make snowballs to throw at the bird!” you scream at Andy. “Pack them hard, so they sting.”
You and Andy furiously build an arsenal of snowballs. As the bird approaches, you cock your arms, ready to throw.
It’s getting closer and closer... just another second.
At last the pelican is within striking distance. “Fire!” you shout.
Snowballs fly at the pelican.
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Hold on. Did you really think a snowball would slow down a bird the size of Godzilla? Puh-lease!
The bird scoops you into its pouchy beak. You and Andy find yourselves treading freezing Arctic water – along with several seals and tons of fish. Everything sloshes around as the bird swoops through the air.
“Snowballs. G-g-g-great i-d-d-d-dea,” Andy complains through chattering teeth.
Without warning, the bird opens its mouth. Half the contents spill out – including you and Andy. You land with a thud in a giant bowl made of sticks and mud. A nest!
The bird flies off. You stare after it. “Why did it let us go?” you ask.
Andy looks glum. “I think it’s saving us for a snack.”
You peer over the side. The nest sits atop a steep, snow-covered mountain. Clouds ring the base. You can’t see what’s down there – not that it matters. It would take you hours to hike down. And if the bird comes back, it will pick you off easily.
But then you spot something in the nest.
Something that just might save your life!
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The nest is piled with giant bits of broken eggshell. Obviously, the pelican’s babies must have hatched recently.
“We’re history,” Andy moans.
You study the broken eggshells. “Maybe not.”
You drag two pieces of eggshell to Andy. The curved shells are two inches thick and three feet wide. “What do these remind you of?” you ask.
“An omelette?” Andy guesses.
“No, dummy. Sleds! We can use these to slide downhill.”
Andy rolls his eyes. “You’ve got to be joking!”
“Well, I’m not waiting for Big Bird to come back,” you snap. “Come on, let’s try it!”
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You and Andy take a running start, jump into your shells, and slide down the mountain. It works perfectly.
“Wheee!” you shout. This is fun!
At the foot of the mountain, you tumble from the egg sleds. “Let’s get out of here,” you urge.
“Uh – we have a problem,” Andy says, pointing.
You follow his finger with your eyes. “What?” you ask, mystified. “All I see is the ocean.”
“Right,” Andy moans. “We’re on an island. Trapped!”
You and Andy hurry along the shoreline. Oh, no! Andy is right – the mountain is surrounded by water.
Then you stumble on a small, round structure by the frozen shore. “It’s an igloo!” you cry.
You stoop down and enter the igloo. It’s empty, except for a piece of paper. You pick up the paper and read:
Piece of paper posted:
EMERGENCY SURVIVAL IGLOO
THIS IGLOO IS FOR LOST GAMERS. IT IS CHECKED ONCE A YEAR. SURVIVAL RATIONS IN BACK.
SIGNED, THE ABOMINABLE SNOW WOMAN
“Let’s check out the survival rations,” Andy suggests.
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You and Andy step to the back of the igloo. There you find several cartons full of frozen food.
You examine the rations. There are hundreds of labeled packages. They all seem to contain the same thing: rolls of rubbery dried fat.
“’Blubberburger,’” you read aloud. “’Blubber pudding, Swedish blubberballs.’”
“’Fried blubber on a stick,’” Andy reads. “’Blubberwurst.’” He makes a barfing sound. “It’s all blubber. Gross!”
You bend down and read a sign pinned to one of the boxes. “This gives the date for the Abominable Snow Woman’s next trip here,” you announce.
Andy studies the sign. “Oh, no!” he cries. “That’s nearly a year from now.”
You and Andy stare at each other.
It seems neither of you will have much to do for the next year – except sit around and chew the fat.
THE END
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Stuck with a massive repair bill after digging our way through the VR machine.
Fed to a litter of Abominable Ice Puppies.
Escaped the virtual world, but swapped bodies with Andy in the process.
Accidentally caused a cave-in with a magnifying glass and a compass.
Forced to serve snowballs for an ice-tennis game for a hundred years.
Squashed under the falling corpse of a ten-ton pelican.
 Stranded in a virtual igloo with a year's supply of blubber-based foodstuffs.
Achievements
A Touch of Frostbite: Escaped the virtual world and gained the power to freeze anything we touch.
Our options posted:
- Play "Adrift off Vega".
- Take the compass.
- Win the arm-wrestling contest with Andy.
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Jan 14, 2020 01:20
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Let's win the arm wrestling contest
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Jan 14, 2020 01:23
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- AnAnonymousIdiot
- Sep 14, 2013
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Take the compass already! I wanna find a situation that proves its worthlessness.
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Jan 14, 2020 03:13
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- Shwoo
- Jul 21, 2011
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Hm, that's not the one I was thinking of. Maybe I was a more messed up kid than I thought and I made it up.
Let's win the arm wrestling contest
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Jan 15, 2020 02:59
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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Hm, that's not the one I was thinking of. Maybe I was a more messed up kid than I thought and I made it up.
Well, now you have to tell us what it was.
Anyway, the good news is that we're suddenly great at arm-wrestling!
quote:
Yes! You won the arm-wrestling contest! You dance around in the snow, flexing your biceps. “I rule!” you shout.
After a while, you calm down. “I’ll find the Abominable Snow Woman,” you promise Andy. “I’ll rescue both of us.”
Andy frowns. “Good luck,” he mutters. But he doesn’t sound like he really means it.
You settle yourself in the seat and turn the ignition key.
VRRRROOOOOOOM! The snowmobile starts up. You grab the handlebars and hang on as the vehicle zooms off.
The wind rushes against your face. Layers of white speed past you. This is the cool VR experience you’d hoped for!
You follow the Abominable Snow Woman’s footsteps toward a steep hill. As you get closer, you realize that the hill is the front edge of a glacier. It’s a steep wall made entirely of ice.
The footprints lead straight up the wall!
No way can the snowmobile climb a glacier. You slam your foot on the brake.
Uh-oh.
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Your foot goes right to the floor.
The brakes don’t work!
The snowmobile speeds straight toward the rock-hard glacier.
Frantically, you pull on the handlebars. Somehow, you’ve got to turn to the side, and quick!
But it’s too late. You’re going too fast.
Just before you become a kid-sicle, you think that maybe you should have let Andy win the arm-wrestling match. Maybe you shouldn’t have tried so hard to get your own way. In fact, you resolve that in the future –
SPLAT!
...and the bad news, of course, is that we're not great at driving a snowmobile.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Magnifying Glass
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Stuck with a massive repair bill after digging our way through the VR machine.
Fed to a litter of Abominable Ice Puppies.
Escaped the virtual world, but swapped bodies with Andy in the process.
Accidentally caused a cave-in with a magnifying glass and a compass.
Forced to serve snowballs for an ice-tennis game for a hundred years.
Squashed under the falling corpse of a ten-ton pelican.
Stranded in a virtual igloo with a year's supply of blubber-based foodstuffs.
Crashed a snowmobile into the side of a glacier.
Achievements
A Touch of Frostbite: Escaped the virtual world and gained the power to freeze anything we touch.
Our options posted:
- Play "Adrift off Vega".
- Take the compass.
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Jan 15, 2020 04:23
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- AnAnonymousIdiot
- Sep 14, 2013
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Oh, winning the arm wrestling game makes the game crash. Fix your Game!
Compass
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Jan 16, 2020 04:56
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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I swear I remember an ending where you and Andy get trapped inside eggs that are never going to to hatch. I even remember it being written in the usual corny style. But I just dug up a copy of the book and looked through the remaining paths for the Snow Woman plot, and it's definitely not there. Maybe I'm thinking of a different book, or conflating few bad endings together? Or maybe I was just a really weird kid. 
That was actually one of the bad endings we missed all the way back in Knight in Screaming Armor. God, that was a weird book even by GYGB standards...
Anyway, let's go grab that compass!
quote:
“We’ll take the compass,” you tell Andy. “You’re right – it could help us figure out where we are.” You tuck it into your parka.
“Come on,” you urge. “Let’s find that Abominable Snow Woman.”
But at that moment, you hear a distant rumbling sound.
Spooked, the Ice Hound runs deeper into the cave.
The cave begins to shake. Ice chunks fall from the ceiling.
“It’s an earthquake!” Andy shouts.
“Quick!” you reply. “We’ve got to get out of here!”
You rush to the cave entrance. Outside, a wall of snow and ice is falling from the top of the hill. It’s almost covered up the entrance.
“We’re trapped!” Andy cries. “The avalanche will seal us in the cave!”
“Quick. Jump out the entrance!” you shout.
You pull Andy with you. The avalanche hurls you down the hill. You tumble along like a pair of giant snowballs.
For whatever reason, taking the compass instead of the magnifying glass causes us to skip over the choice with the Ice Hound entirely. Instead, we're taken directly to page 50, where we find the trail of footprints leading to the snowmobile.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Compass
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Stuck with a massive repair bill after digging our way through the VR machine.
Fed to a litter of Abominable Ice Puppies.
Escaped the virtual world, but swapped bodies with Andy in the process.
Accidentally caused a cave-in with a magnifying glass and a compass.
Forced to serve snowballs for an ice-tennis game for a hundred years.
Squashed under the falling corpse of a ten-ton pelican.
Stranded in a virtual igloo with a year's supply of blubber-based foodstuffs.
Crashed a snowmobile into the side of a glacier.
Achievements
A Touch of Frostbite: Escaped the virtual world and gained the power to freeze anything we touch.
Our options posted:
- Play "Adrift off Vega".
- Bring the compass into the Ice Maze.
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Jan 17, 2020 02:17
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- Blueberry Pancakes
- Aug 18, 2012
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Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
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Bring the compass!
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Jan 17, 2020 03:02
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- AnAnonymousIdiot
- Sep 14, 2013
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We're beating that maze!
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Jan 17, 2020 04:20
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- Shwoo
- Jul 21, 2011
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That was actually one of the bad endings we missed all the way back in Knight in Screaming Armor. God, that was a weird book even by GYGB standards...
Let's find out if the maze leads out of this computer game.
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Jan 17, 2020 11:42
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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Okay, everything make sense now. That entire book was a fever dream. You get dropped in a nest and turned into an egg if you choose to have Abbey "return in a flash", right?
Exactamundo! Anyway, that's enough reminiscing about one of the worst books in this entire series for now. Maze time!
quote:
Holding the compass in front of you, you step into the maze.
It twists and branches. The compass says you are traveling north. But hours later, you still haven’t found the center.
Andy is panicking. “We’ll never get out!” he moans.
You slog onward. Then you notice something. At every fork, the walls of one path are brighter than the walls of the other.
You peer at the darker walls. Bits of black rock are embedded in the ice. You hold the compass up to one of the black flecks. The needle swings until it points at the bit of rock.
Hey! The black rocks are magnetic. They’re throwing off the compass! No wonder no one has ever completed the maze!
Retracing your path, you take only the branches with brighter walls. Before long, you reach a big white room.
At the far end, the Abominable Snow Woman stands in front of a large control panel. She snarls with rage when she sees you.
Andy points. “That must be the control center. Come on, let’s turn off the game and get out of here!”
The Snow Woman holds up a huge hand. “Not so fast! First, you must navigate one last maze. Solve it, and I’ll let you go. Fail – and you’ll become part of my game forever!”
She waves her hand. A maze of ice springs up, filling the room between you and her.
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If you run the maze correctly, you’ll beat the Abominable Snow Woman.
Using a pencil, trace a path from START to one of the numbers inside the maze. When you reach a number, turn to that page to see if you have won.
Kind of an odd game design choice on the Snow Woman's part. "You may have solved my maze, but you'll never be able to get past a smaller, much simpler second maze!"
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Compass
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Stuck with a massive repair bill after digging our way through the VR machine.
Fed to a litter of Abominable Ice Puppies.
Escaped the virtual world, but swapped bodies with Andy in the process.
Accidentally caused a cave-in with a magnifying glass and a compass.
Forced to serve snowballs for an ice-tennis game for a hundred years.
Squashed under the falling corpse of a ten-ton pelican.
Stranded in a virtual igloo with a year's supply of blubber-based foodstuffs.
Crashed a snowmobile into the side of a glacier.
Achievements
A Touch of Frostbite: Escaped the virtual world and gained the power to freeze anything we touch.
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Jan 18, 2020 03:08
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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54
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Jan 18, 2020 05:05
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Jan 18, 2020 05:59
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 22:47
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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87 is definitely the right answer*
*I'm sick of ice land too but I love the endings where the book calls you a dirty cheater
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Jan 18, 2020 06:00
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Jan 10, 2020 06:13
