quote:

"I have nothing to wear!" I moaned to myself.

Every item of clothing I owned was strewn across my bed; my drawers and closets were bare. I stared into the empty recesses, willing something suitable to appear.

My khaki skirt lay over the back of the rocking chair, waiting for me to discover something that went with it just exactly right. Something that would make me look beautiful and grown up. Something that said special occasion. I was coming up empty.

It was almost time to go, and I was still wearing my favorite old sweats. Unless I could find something better here—and the odds weren’t looking good at this point—I was going to graduate in them.

quote:

I scowled at the pile of clothes on my bed. The kicker was that I knew exactly what I would have worn if it were still available—my kidnapped red blouse. I punched the wall with my good hand.

“Stupid, thieving, annoying vampire!” I growled.

“What did I do?” Alice demanded.

She was leaning casually beside the open window as if she’d been there the whole time.

“Knock, knock,” she added with a grin.

quote:

“Is it really so hard to wait for me to get the door?”

She threw a flat, white box onto my bed. “I’m just passing through. I thought you might need something to wear.”

I looked at the big package lying on top of my unsatisfying wardrobe and grimaced.

“Admit it,” Alice said. “I’m a lifesaver.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” I muttered. “Thanks.”

“Well, it’s nice to get something right for a change. You don’t know how irritating it is—missing things the way I have been. I feel so useless. So… normal.” She cringed in horror of the word.

“I can’t imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh.”

quote:

She laughed. “Well, at least this makes up for missing your annoying thief—now I just have to figure out what I’m not seeing in Seattle.”

When she said the words that way—putting the two situations together in one sentence—right then it clicked. The elusive something that had been bothering me for days, the important connection that I couldn’t quite put together, suddenly became clear. I stared at her, my face frozen with whatever expression was already in place.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” she asked. She sighed when I didn’t move immediately, and tugged the top of the box off herself. She pulled something out and held it up, but I couldn’t concentrate on what it was. “Pretty, don’t you think? I picked blue, because I know it’s Edward’s favorite on you.”

I wasn’t listening.

“It’s the same,” I whispered.

“What is?” she demanded. “You don’t have anything like this. For crying out loud, you only own one skirt!”

“No, Alice! Forget the clothes, listen!”

“You don’t like it?” Alice’s face clouded with disappointment.

“Listen, Alice, don’t you see? It’s the same! The one who broke in and stole my things, and the new vampires in Seattle. They’re together!”

The clothes slipped from her fingers and fell back into the box.

quote:

Alice focused now, her voice suddenly sharp. “Why do you think that?”

“Remember what Edward said? About someone using the holes in your vision to keep you from seeing the newborns? And then what you said before, about the timing being too perfect—how careful my thief was to make no contact, as if he knew you would see that. I think you were right, Alice, I think he did know. I think he was using those holes, too. And what are the odds that two different people not only know enough about you to do that, but also decided to do it at exactly the same time? No way. It’s one person. The same one. The one who is making the army is the one who stole my scent.”

Alice wasn’t accustomed to being taken by surprise. She froze, and was still for so long that I started counting in my head as I waited. She didn’t move for two minutes straight. Then her eyes refocused on me.

quote:

“You’re right,” she said in a hollow tone. “Of course you’re right. And when you put it that way.…”

“Edward had it wrong,” I whispered. “It was a test… to see if it would work. If he could get in and out safely as long as he didn’t do anything you would be watching out for. Like trying to kill me.… And he didn’t take my things to prove he’d found me. He stole my scent… so that others could find me.”

quote:

Her eyes were wide with shock. I was right, and I could see that she knew it, too. “Oh, no,” she mouthed.

I was through expecting my emotions to make sense anymore. As I processed the fact that someone had created an army of vampires—the army that had gruesomely murdered dozens of people in Seattle—for the express purpose of destroying me, I felt a spasm of relief.

Part of it was finally solving that irritating feeling that I was missing something vital. But the larger part was something else entirely.

“Well,” I whispered, “everyone can relax. Nobody’s trying to exterminate the Cullens after all.”

quote:

“If you think that one thing has changed, you’re absolutely wrong,” Alice said through her teeth. “If someone wants one of us, they’re going to have to go through the rest of us to get to her.”

“Thanks, Alice. But at least we know what they’re really after. That has to help.”

“Maybe,” she muttered. She started pacing back and forth across my room.

Thud, thud—a fist hammered against my door.

I jumped. Alice didn’t seem to notice.

“Aren’t you ready yet? We’re gonna be late!” Charlie complained, sounding edgy. Charlie hated occasions about as much as I did. In his case, a lot of the problem was having to dress up.

“Almost. Give me a minute,” I said hoarsely.

He was quiet for half a second. “Are you crying?”

“No. I’m nervous. Go away.”

quote:

I heard him clump down the stairs.

“I have to go,” Alice whispered.

“Why?”

“Edward is coming. If he hears this…”

“Go, go!” I urged immediately. Edward would go berserk when he knew. I couldn’t keep it from him for long, but maybe the graduation ceremony wasn’t the best time for his reaction.

quote:

“Put it on,” Alice commanded as she flitted out the window.

I did what she said, dressing in a daze.

I’d been planning to do something more sophisticated with my hair, but time was up, so it hung straight and boring as on any other day. It didn’t matter. I didn’t bother to look in the mirror, so I had no idea how Alice’s sweater and skirt ensemble worked. That didn’t matter, either. I threw the ugly yellow polyester graduation robe over my arm and hurried down the stairs.

“You look nice,” Charlie said, already gruff with suppressed emotion. “Is that new?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, trying to concentrate. “Alice gave it to me. Thanks.”

Edward arrived just a few minutes after his sister left. It wasn’t enough time for me to pull together a calm façade. But, since we were riding in the cruiser with Charlie, he never had a chance to ask me what was wrong.

Charlie had gotten stubborn last week when he’d learned that I was intending to ride with Edward to the graduation ceremony. And I could see his point—parents should have some rights come graduation day. I’d conceded with good grace, and Edward had cheerfully suggested that we all go together. Since Carlisle and Esme had no problem with this, Charlie couldn’t come up with a compelling objection; he’d agreed with poor grace. And now Edward rode in the backseat of my father’s police car, behind the fiberglass divider, with an amused expression—probably due to my father’s amused expression, and the grin that widened every time Charlie stole a glance at Edward in his rearview mirror. Which almost certainly meant that Charlie was imagining things that would get him in trouble with me if he said them out loud.

quote:

“Are you all right?” Edward whispered when he helped me from the front seat in the school parking lot.

“Nervous,” I answered, and it wasn’t even a lie.

“You are so beautiful,” he said.

He looked like he wanted to say more, but Charlie, in an obvious maneuver that he meant to be subtle, shrugged in between us and put his arm around my shoulders.

“Are you excited?” he asked me.

“Not really,” I admitted.

“Bella, this is a big deal. You’re graduating from high school. It’s the real world for you now. College. Living on your own.… You’re not my little girl anymore.” Charlie choked up a bit at the end.

quote:

“Dad,” I moaned. “Please don’t get all weepy on me.”

“Who’s weepy?” he growled. “Now, why aren’t you excited?”

“I don’t know, Dad. I guess it hasn’t hit yet or something.”

“It’s good that Alice is throwing this party. You need something to perk you up.”

“Sure. A party’s exactly what I need.”

Charlie laughed at my tone and squeezed my shoulders. Edward looked at the clouds, his face thoughtful.

My father had to leave us at the back door of the gym and go around to the main entrance with the rest of the parents.

It was pandemonium as Ms. Cope from the front office and Mr. Varner the math teacher tried to line everyone up alphabetically.

“Up front, Mr. Cullen,” Mr. Varner barked at Edward.

“Hey, Bella!” I looked up to see Jessica Stanley waving at me from the back of the line with a smile on her face.

Edward kissed me quickly, sighed, and went to go stand with the C’s. Alice wasn’t there. What was she going to do? Skip graduation? What poor timing on my part. I should have waited to figure things out until after this was over with.

quote:

“Down here, Bella!” Jessica called again. I walked down the line to take my place behind Jessica, mildly curious as to why she was suddenly so friendly. As I got closer, I saw Angela five people back, watching Jessica with the same curiosity.

Jess was babbling before I was in earshot.

“… so amazing. I mean, it seems like we just met, and now we’re graduating together,” she gushed. “Can you believe it’s over? I feel like screaming!”

“So do I,” I muttered.

quote:

“This is all just so incredible. Do you remember your first day here? We were friends, like, right away. From the first time we saw each other. Amazing. And now I’m off to California and you’ll be in Alaska and I’m going to miss you so much! You have to promise that we’ll get together sometimes! I’m so glad you’re having a party. That’s perfect. Because we really haven’t spent much time together in a while and now we’re all leaving.…”

She droned on and on, and I was sure the sudden return of our friendship was due to graduation nostalgia and gratitude for the party invite, not that I’d had anything to do with that. I paid attention as well as I could while I shrugged into my robe. And I found that I was glad that things could end on a good note with Jessica.

quote:

Because it was an ending, no matter what Eric, the valedictorian, had to say about commencement meaning “beginning” and all the rest of the trite nonsense. Maybe more for me than for the rest, but we were all leaving something behind us today.

It went so quickly. I felt like I’d hit the fast forward button. Were we supposed to march quite that fast? And then Eric was speed talking in his nervousness, the words and phrases running together so they didn’t make sense anymore. Principal Greene started calling names, one after the other without a long enough pause between; the front row in the gymnasium was rushing to catch up. Poor Ms. Cope was all thumbs as she tried to give the principal the right diploma to hand to the right student.

I watched as Alice, suddenly appearing, danced across the stage to take hers, a look of deep concentration on her face. Edward followed behind, his expression confused, but not upset. Only the two of them could carry off the hideous yellow and still look the way they did. They stood out from the rest of the crowd, their beauty and grace otherworldly. I wondered how I’d ever fallen for their human farce. A couple of angels, standing there with wings intact, would be less conspicuous.

quote:

I heard Mr. Greene call my name and I rose from my chair, waiting for the line in front of me to move. I was conscious of cheering in the back of the gym, and I looked around to see Jacob pulling Charlie to his feet, both of them hooting in encouragement. I could just make out the top of Billy’s head beside Jake’s elbow. I managed to throw them an approximation of a smile.

quote:

Mr. Greene finished with the list of names, and then continued to hand out diplomas with a sheepish grin as we filed past.

“Congratulations, Miss Stanley,” he mumbled as Jess took hers.

“Congratulations, Miss Swan,” he mumbled to me, pressing the diploma into my good hand.

“Thanks,” I murmured.

And that was it.

I went to stand next to Jessica with the assembled graduates. Jess was all red around the eyes, and she kept blotting her face with the sleeve of her robe. It took me a second to understand that she was crying.

Mr. Greene said something I didn’t hear, and everyone around me shouted and screamed. Yellow hats rained down. I pulled mine off, too late, and just let it fall to the ground.

“Oh, Bella!” Jess blubbered over the sudden roar of conversation. “I can’t believe we’re done.”

“I can’t believe it’s all over,” I mumbled.

quote:

She threw her arms around my neck. “You have to promise we won’t lose touch.”

I hugged her back, feeling a little awkward as I dodged her request. “I’m so glad I know you, Jessica. It was a good two years.”

quote:

“It was,” she sighed, and sniffed. Then she dropped her arms. “Lauren!” she squealed, waving over her head and pushing through the massed yellow gowns. Families were beginning to converge, pressing us tighter together.

I caught sight of Angela and Ben, but they were surrounded by their families. I would congratulate them later.

I craned my head, looking for Alice.

“Congratulations,” Edward whispered in my ear, his arms winding around my waist. His voice was subdued; he’d been in no hurry for me to reach this particular milestone.

“Um, thanks.”

“You don’t look like you’re over the nerves yet,” he noted.

“Not quite yet.”

“What’s left to worry about? The party? It won’t be that horrible.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Who are you looking for?”

My searching wasn’t quite as subtle as I’d thought. “Alice—where is she?”

“She ran out as soon as she had her diploma.”

quote:

His voice took on a new tone. I looked up to see his confused expression as he stared toward the back door of the gym, and I made an impulse decision—the kind I really should think twice about, but rarely did.

“Worrying about Alice?” I asked.

“Er…” He didn’t want to answer that.

“What was she thinking about, anyway? To keep you out, I mean.”

His eyes flashed down to my face, and narrowed in suspicion. “She was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on to Korean sign language.”

quote:

I laughed nervously. “I suppose that would keep her head busy enough.”

“You know what she’s hiding from me,” he accused.

“Sure.” I smiled a weak smile. “I’m the one who came up with it.”

He waited, confused.

I looked around. Charlie would be on his way through the crowd now.

“Knowing Alice,” I whispered in a rush, “she’ll probably try to keep this from you until after the party. But since I’m all for the party being canceled—well, don’t go berserk, regardless, okay? It’s always better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow.”

“What are you talking about?”

I saw Charlie’s head bob up over the other heads as he searched for me. He spotted me and waved.

“Just stay calm, okay?”

He nodded once, his mouth a grim line.

quote:

In hurried whispers I explained my reasoning to him. “I think you’re wrong about things coming at us from all sides. I think it’s mostly coming at us from one side… and I think it’s coming at me, really. It’s all connected, it has to be. It’s just one person who’s messing with Alice’s visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It’s got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes—all of it goes together. My scent is for them.”

His face had turned so white that I had a hard time finishing.

quote:

“But no one’s coming for you, don’t you see? This is good—Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!”

His eyes were huge, wide with panic, dazed and horrified. He could see that I was right, just as Alice had.

I put my hand on his cheek. “Calm,” I pleaded.

quote:

“Bella!” Charlie crowed, pushing his way past the close-packed families around us.

“Congratulations, baby!” He was still yelling, even though he was right at my ear now. He wrapped his arms around me, ever so slyly shuffling Edward off to the side as he did so.

“Thanks,” I muttered, preoccupied by the expression on Edward’s face. He still hadn’t gained control. His hands were halfway extended toward me, like he was about to grab me and make a run for it. Only slightly more in control of myself than he was, running didn’t seem like such a terrible idea to me.

“Jacob and Billy had to take off—did you see that they were here?” Charlie asked, taking a step back, but keeping his hands on my shoulders. He had his back to Edward—probably an effort to exclude him, but that was fine at the moment. Edward’s mouth was hanging open, his eyes still wide with dread.

quote:

“Yeah,” I assured my father, trying to pay enough attention. “Heard them, too.”

“It was nice of them to show up,” Charlie said.

“Mm-hmm.”

Okay, so telling Edward had been a really bad idea. Alice was right to keep her thoughts clouded. I should have waited till we were alone somewhere, maybe with the rest of his family. And nothing breakable close by—like windows… cars… school buildings. His face brought back all my fear and then some. Though his expression was past the fear now—it was pure fury that was suddenly plain on his features.

quote:

“So where do you want to go out for dinner?” Charlie asked. “The sky’s the limit.”

“I can cook.”

“Don’t be silly. Do you want to go to the Lodge?” he asked with an eager smile.

I did not particularly enjoy Charlie’s favorite restaurant, but, at this point, what was the difference? I wasn’t going to be able to eat anyway.

“Sure, the Lodge, cool,” I said.

Charlie smiled wider, and then sighed. He turned his head halfway toward Edward, without really looking at him.

“You coming, too, Edward?”

I stared at him, my eyes beseeching. Edward pulled his expression together just before Charlie turned to see why he hadn’t gotten an answer.

“No, thank you,” Edward said stiffly, his face hard and cold.

“Do you have plans with your parents?” Charlie asked, a frown in his voice.

Edward was always more polite than Charlie deserved; the sudden hostility surprised him.

“Yes. If you’ll excuse me.…” Edward turned abruptly and stalked away through the dwindling crowd. He moved just a little bit too fast, too upset to keep up his usually perfect charade.

quote:

“What did I say?” Charlie asked with a guilty expression.

“Don’t worry about it, Dad,” I reassured him. “I don’t think it’s you.”

“Are you two fighting again?”

“Nobody’s fighting. Mind your own business.”

“You are my business.”

I rolled my eyes. “Let’s go eat.”

The Lodge was crowded. The place was, in my opinion, overpriced and tacky, but it was the only thing close to a formal restaurant in town, so it was always popular for events. I stared morosely at a depressed-looking stuffed elk head while Charlie ate prime rib and talked over the back of the seat to Tyler Crowley’s parents. It was noisy—everyone there had just come from graduation, and most were chatting across the aisles and over the booth-tops like Charlie.

quote:

I had my back to the front windows, and I resisted the urge to turn around and search for the eyes I could feel on me now. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see anything. Just as I knew there was no chance that he would leave me unguarded, even for a second. Not after this.

quote:

Dinner dragged. Charlie, busy socializing, ate too slowly. I picked at my burger, stuffing pieces of it into my napkin when I was sure his attention was somewhere else. It all seemed to take a very long time, but when I looked at the clock—which I did more often than necessary—the hands hadn’t moved much.

Finally Charlie got his change back and put a tip on the table. I stood up.

“In a hurry?” he asked me.

“I want to help Alice set things up,” I claimed.

quote:

“Okay.” He turned away from me to say goodnight to everyone. I went out to wait by the cruiser.

I leaned against the passenger door, waiting for Charlie to drag himself away from the impromptu party. It was almost dark in the parking lot, the clouds so thick that there was no telling if the sun had set or not. The air felt heavy, like it was about to rain.

Something moved in the shadows.

My gasp turned into a sigh of relief as Edward appeared out of the gloom.

Without a word, he pulled me tightly against his chest. One cool hand found my chin, and pulled my face up so that he could press his hard lips to mine. I could feel the tension in his jaw.

quote:

“How are you?” I asked as soon as he let me breathe.

“Not so great,” he murmured. “But I’ve got a handle on myself. I’m sorry that I lost it back there.”

“My fault. I should have waited to tell you.”

“No,” he disagreed. “This is something I needed to know. I can’t believe I didn’t see it!”

quote:

“You’ve got a lot on your mind.”

“And you don’t?”

He suddenly kissed me again, not letting me answer. He pulled away after just a second. “Charlie’s on his way.”

“I’ll have him drop me at your house.”

“I’ll follow you there.”

“That’s not really necessary,” I tried to say, but he was already gone.

“Bella?” Charlie called from the doorway of the restaurant, squinting into the darkness.

“I’m out here.”

Charlie sauntered out to the car, muttering about impatience.

“So, how do you feel?” he asked me as we drove north along the highway. “It’s been a big day.”

“I feel fine,” I lied.

He laughed, seeing through me easily. “Worried about the party?” he guessed.

“Yeah,” I lied again.

This time he didn’t notice. “You were never one for the parties.”

“Wonder where I got that from,” I murmured.

quote:

Charlie chuckled. “Well, you look really nice. I wish I’d thought to get you something. Sorry.”

“Don’t be silly, Dad.”

“It’s not silly. I feel like I don’t always do everything for you that I should.”

“That’s ridiculous. You do a fantastic job. World’s best dad. And…” It wasn’t easy to talk about feelings with Charlie, but I persevered after clearing my throat. “And I’m really glad I came to live with you, Dad. It was the best idea I ever had. So don’t worry—you’re just experiencing post-graduation pessimism.”

He snorted. “Maybe. But I’m sure I slipped up in a few places. I mean, look at your hand!”

I stared down blankly at my hands. My left hand rested lightly on the dark brace I rarely thought about. My broken knuckle didn’t hurt much anymore.

“I never thought I needed to teach you how to throw a punch. Guess I was wrong about that.”

quote:

“I thought you were on Jacob’s side?”

“No matter what side I’m on, if someone kisses you without your permission, you should be able to make your feelings clear without hurting yourself. You didn’t keep your thumb inside your fist, did you?”

quote:

“No, Dad. That’s kind of sweet in a weird way, but I don’t think lessons would have helped. Jacob’s head is really hard.”

Charlie laughed. “Hit him in the gut next time.”

“Next time?” I asked incredulously.

“Aw, don’t be too hard on the kid. He’s young.”

“He’s obnoxious.”

“He’s still your friend.”

“I know.” I sighed. “I don’t really know what the right thing to do here is, Dad.”

quote:

Charlie nodded slowly. “Yeah. The right thing isn’t always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So… good luck figuring that out.”

“Thanks,” I muttered dryly.

Charlie laughed again, and then frowned. “If this party gets too wild…,” he began.

“Don’t worry about it, Dad. Carlisle and Esme are going to be there. I’m sure you can come, too, if you want.”

Charlie grimaced as he squinted through the windshield into the night. Charlie enjoyed a good party just about as much as I did.

quote:

“Where’s the turnoff, again?” he asked. “They ought to clear out their drive—it’s impossible to find in the dark.”

“Just around the next bend, I think.” I pursed my lips. “You know, you’re right—it is impossible to find. Alice said she put a map in the invitation, but even so, maybe everyone will get lost.” I cheered up slightly at the idea.

“Maybe,” Charlie said as the road curved to the east. “Or maybe not.”

The black velvet darkness was interrupted ahead, just where the Cullens’ drive should be. Someone had wrapped the trees on either side in thousands of twinkle lights, impossible to miss.

“Alice,” I said sourly.

“Wow,” Charlie said as we turned onto the drive. The two trees at the entry weren’t the only ones lit. Every twenty feet or so, another shining beacon guided us toward the big white house. All the way—all three miles of the way.

“She doesn’t do things halfway, does she?” Charlie mumbled in awe.

quote:

“Sure you don’t want to come in?”

“Extremely sure. Have fun, kid.”

“Thanks so much, Dad.”

He was laughing to himself as I got out and shut the door. I watched him drive away, still grinning. With a sigh, I marched up the stairs to endure my party.

Seagull Fiasco posted:

And none of it is ever really addressed as problematic, or as something a character might need to change to become a truly good partner. It's all just inevitable features of the one true love, and the story focuses heavily on this.

Lysistrata posted:

I've been loving this thread (and the James Bond one as well) but I'd like to offer a bit of an explanation for Bella being such a shithead, maybe? People keep focusing on how selfish and useless she's written to be, and I'm absolutely not saying that this was done on purpose by Meyer, but that's literally how it feels to be a teenage girl with low self esteem. You feel selfish, maybe for good reason, but often for no reason at all. You feel ugly and unpopular, even when the actual reality is that people like you. You feel useless and helpless, because no one seems to listen to you, even when you're literally telling this to people who do listen to you.

In a weird way, the fact that Bella is portrayed as both selfish and useless but also super important to a lot of people and liked by them-- I think all of that is a massive part of why the book was so popular with teenage girls. I felt like that when I was a teenager. It's kind of strange to see people in the thread here comment on her selfishness and uselessness without acknowledging that those qualities are a major part of what made the character so identifiable to girls her age.

Basically, what I'm saying is Meyer accidentally a realistic teenage girl mindset, somehow. The negative qualities only make it feel more real on an emotional level.

Calypso posted:

Also, your comment about how the Cullens get by with nobody noticing their cold, hard skin cracks me up. How the hell could Carlisle get away with it being a doctor? He’s constantly touching people.

Pyrotoad posted:

Are there more screenshots of the tumblr Twilight fandom? I think I love them.

quote:

"Bella?"

Edward’s soft voice came from behind me. I turned to see him spring lightly up the porch steps, his hair windblown from running. He pulled me into his arms at once, just like he had in the parking lot, and kissed me again.

This kiss frightened me. There was too much tension, too strong an edge to the way his lips crushed mine—like he was afraid we only had so much time left to us.

quote:

I couldn’t let myself think about that. Not if I was going to have to act human for the next several hours. I pulled away from him.

“Let’s get this stupid party over with,” I mumbled, not meeting his eyes. H

e put his hands on either side of my face, waiting until I looked up.

“I won’t let anything happen to you.”

I touched his lips with the fingers of my good hand. “I’m not worried about myself so much.”

“Why am I not surprised by that?” he muttered to himself. He took a deep breath, and then he smiled slightly. “Ready to celebrate?” he asked.

I groaned.

He held the door for me, keeping his arm securely around my waist. I stood frozen there for a minute, then I slowly shook my head.

“Unbelievable.”

Edward shrugged. “Alice will be Alice.”

The interior of the Cullens’ home had been transformed into a nightclub—the kind that didn’t often exist in real life, only on TV.

“Edward!” Alice called from beside a gigantic speaker. “I need your advice.” She gestured toward a towering stack of CDs. “Should we give them familiar and comforting? Or”—she gestured to a different pile—“educate their taste in music?”

quote:

“Keep it comforting,” Edward recommended. “You can only lead the horse to water.”

Alice nodded seriously, and started throwing the educational CDs into a box. I noticed that she had changed into a sequined tank top and red leather pants. Her bare skin reacted oddly to the pulsing red and purple lights.

quote:

“I think I’m underdressed.”

“You’re perfect,” Edward disagreed.

“You’ll do,” Alice amended.

“Thanks.” I sighed. “Do you really think people will come?” Anyone could hear the hope in my voice. Alice made a face at me.

“Everyone will come,” Edward answered. “They’re all dying to see the inside of the reclusive Cullens’ mystery house.”

“Fabulous,” I moaned.

There wasn’t anything I could do to help. I doubted that—even after I didn’t need sleep and moved at a much faster speed—I would ever be able to get things done the way Alice did.

quote:

Edward refused to let me go for a second, dragging me along with him as he hunted up Jasper and then Carlisle to tell them of my epiphany. I listened with quiet horror as they discussed their attack on the army in Seattle. I could tell that Jasper was not pleased with the way the numbers stood, but they’d been unable to contact anyone besides Tanya’s unwilling family. Jasper didn’t try to hide his desperation the way Edward would have. It was easy to see that he didn’t like gambling with stakes this high.

I couldn’t stay behind, waiting and hoping for them to come home. I wouldn’t. I would go mad.

The doorbell rang.

All at once, everything was surreally normal. A perfect smile, genuine and warm, replaced the stress on Carlisle’s face. Alice turned the volume of the music up, and then danced to get the door.

quote:

It was a Suburban-load of my friends, either too nervous or too intimidated to arrive on their own. Jessica was the first one in the door, with Mike right behind her. Tyler, Conner, Austin, Lee, Samantha… even Lauren trailing in last, her critical eyes alight with curiosity. They all were curious, and then overwhelmed as they took in the huge room decked out like a chic rave. The room wasn’t empty; all the Cullens had taken their places, ready to put on their usual perfect human charade. Tonight I felt like I was acting every bit as much as they were.

I went to greet Jess and Mike, hoping the edge in my voice sounded like the right kind of excitement. Before I could get to anyone else, the bell rang again. I let Angela and Ben in, leaving the door wide, because Eric and Katie were just reaching the steps.

I didn’t get another chance to panic. I had to talk to everyone, concentrate on being upbeat, a hostess. Though the party had been billed as a joint event for Alice, Edward, and me, there was no denying that I was the most popular target for congratulations and thanks. Maybe because the Cullens looked just slightly wrong under Alice’s party lights. Maybe because those lights left the room dim and mysterious. Not an atmosphere to make your average human feel relaxed when standing next to someone like Emmett. I saw Emmett grin at Mike over the food table, the red lights gleaming off his teeth, and watched Mike take an automatic step back.

quote:

Probably Alice had done this on purpose, to force me into the center of attention—a place she thought I should enjoy more. She was forever trying to make me be human the way she thought humans should be.

quote:

The party was a clear success, despite the instinctive edginess caused by the Cullens’ presence—or maybe that simply added a thrill to the atmosphere. The music was infectious, the lights almost hypnotic. From the way the food disappeared, that must have been good, too. The room was soon crowded, though never claustrophobic. The entire senior class seemed to be there, along with most of the juniors. Bodies swayed to the beat that rumbled under the soles of their feet, the party constantly on the edge of breaking into a dance.

It wasn’t as hard as I’d thought it would be. I followed Alice’s lead, mingling and chatting for a minute with everyone. They seemed easy enough to please. I was sure this party was far cooler than anything the town of Forks had experienced before. Alice was almost purring—no one here would forget this night.

quote:

I’d circled the room once, and was back to Jessica. She babbled excitedly, and it was not necessary to pay strict attention, because the odds were she wouldn’t need a response from me anytime soon. Edward was at my side—still refusing to let go of me. He kept one hand securely at my waist, pulling me closer now and then in response to thoughts I probably didn’t want to hear.

So I was immediately suspicious when he dropped his arm and edged away from me.

“Stay here,” he murmured in my ear. “I’ll be right back.”

He passed gracefully through the crowd without seeming to touch any of the close-packed bodies, gone too quickly for me to ask why he was leaving. I stared after him with narrowed eyes while Jessica shouted over the music eagerly, hanging on to my elbow, oblivious to my distraction.

I watched him as he reached the dark shadow beside the kitchen doorway, where the lights only shone intermittently. He was leaning over someone, but I couldn’t see past all the heads between us.

quote:

I stretched up on my toes, craning my neck. Right then, a red light flashed across his back and glinted off the red sequins of Alice’s shirt. The light only touched her face for half a second, but it was enough.

“Excuse me for a minute, Jess,” I mumbled, pulling my arm away. I didn’t pause for her reaction, even to see if I’d hurt her feelings with my abruptness.

quote:

I ducked my way through the bodies, getting shoved around a bit. A few people were dancing now. I hurried to the kitchen door.

Edward was gone, but Alice was still there in the dark, her face blank—the kind of expressionless look you see on the face of someone who has just witnessed a horrible accident. One of her hands gripped the door frame, like she needed the support.

“What, Alice, what? What did you see?” My hands were clutched in front of me—begging.

She didn’t look at me, she was staring away. I followed her gaze and watched as she caught Edward’s eye across the room. His face was empty as a stone. He turned and disappeared into the shadows under the stair.

The doorbell rang just then, hours after the last time, and Alice looked up with a puzzled expression that quickly turned into one of disgust.

“Who invited the werewolf?” she griped at me.

I scowled. “Guilty.”

I’d thought I’d rescinded that invitation—not that I’d ever dreamed Jacob would come here, regardless.

quote:

“Well, you go take care of it, then. I have to talk to Carlisle.”

“No, Alice, wait!” I tried to reach for her arm, but she was gone and my hand clutched the empty air.

“drat it!” I grumbled.

quote:

I knew this was it. Alice had seen what she’d been waiting for, and I honestly didn’t feel I could stand the suspense long enough to answer the door. The doorbell pealed again, too long, someone holding down the button. I turned my back toward the door resolutely, and scanned the darkened room for Alice.

I couldn’t see anything. I started pushing for the stairs.

“Hey, Bella!”

Jacob’s deep voice caught a lull in the music, and I looked up in spite of myself at the sound of my name.

I made a face.

It wasn’t just one werewolf, it was three. Jacob had let himself in, flanked on either side by Quil and Embry. The two of them looked terribly tense, their eyes flickering around the room like they’d just walked into a haunted crypt. Embry’s trembling hand still held the door, his body half-turned to run for it.

quote:

Jacob was waving at me, calmer than the others, though his nose was wrinkled in disgust. I waved back—waved goodbye—and turned to look for Alice. I squeezed through a space between Conner’s and Lauren’s backs.

He came out of nowhere, his hand on my shoulder pulling me back toward the shadow by the kitchen. I ducked under his grip, but he grabbed my good wrist and yanked me from the crowd.

quote:

“Friendly reception,” he noted.

I pulled my hand free and scowled at him. “What are you doing here?”

“You invited me, remember?”

“In case my right hook was too subtle for you, let me translate: that was me uninviting you.”

“Don’t be a poor sport. I brought you a graduation present and everything.”

quote:

I folded my arms across my chest. I didn’t want to fight with Jacob right now. I wanted to know what Alice had seen and what Edward and Carlisle were saying about it. I craned my head around Jacob, searching for them.

“Take it back to the store, Jake. I’ve got to do something.…”

He stepped into my line of sight, demanding my attention.

“I can’t take it back. I didn’t get it from the store—I made it myself. Took a really long time, too.”

I leaned around him again, but I couldn’t see any of the Cullens. Where had they gone? My eyes scanned the darkened room.

quote:

“Oh, c’mon, Bell. Don’t pretend like I’m not here!”

“I’m not.” I couldn’t see them anywhere. “Look, Jake, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”

He put his hand under my chin and pulled my face up. “Could I please have just a few seconds of your undivided attention, Miss Swan?”

I jerked away from his touch. “Keep your hands to yourself, Jacob,” I hissed.

quote:

“Sorry!” he said at once, holding his hands up in surrender. “I really am sorry. About the other day, I mean, too. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. It was wrong. I guess… well, I guess I deluded myself into thinking you wanted me to.”

“Deluded—what a perfect description!”

“Be nice. You could accept my apology, you know.”

“Fine. Apology accepted. Now, if you’ll just excuse me for a moment…”

“Okay,” he mumbled, and his voice was so different from before that I stopped searching for Alice and scrutinized his face. He was staring at the floor, hiding his eyes. His lower lip jutted out just a little bit.

“I guess you’d rather be with your real friends,” he said in the same defeated tone. “I get it.”

quote:

I groaned. “Aw, Jake, you know that’s not fair.”

“Do I?”

“You should.” I leaned forward, peering up, trying to look into his eyes. He looked up then, over my head, avoiding my gaze.

“Jake?”

He refused to look at me.

“Hey, you said you made me something, right?” I asked. “Was that just talk? Where’s my present?” My attempt to fake enthusiasm was pretty sad, but it worked. He rolled his eyes and then grimaced at me.

quote:

I kept up the lame pretense, holding my hand open in front of me. “I’m waiting.”

“Right,” he grumbled sarcastically. But he also reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small bag of a loose-woven, multi-colored fabric. It was tied shut with leather drawstrings. He set it on my palm.

“Hey, that’s pretty, Jake. Thanks!”

He sighed. “The present is inside, Bella.”

“Oh.”

I had some trouble with the strings. He sighed again and took it from me, sliding the ties open with one easy tug of the right cord. I held my hand out for it, but he turned the bag upside down and shook something silver into my hand. Metal links clinked quietly against each other.

“I didn’t make the bracelet,” he admitted. “Just the charm.”

Fastened to one of the links of the silver bracelet was a tiny wooden carving. I held it between my fingers to look at it closer. It was amazing the amount of detail involved in the little figurine—the miniature wolf was utterly realistic. It was even carved out of some red-brown wood that matched the color of his skin.

quote:

“It’s beautiful,” I whispered. “You made this? How?”

He shrugged. “It’s something Billy taught me. He’s better at it than I am.”

“That’s hard to believe,” I murmured, turning the tiny wolf around and around in my fingers.

“Do you really like it?”

“Yes! It’s unbelievable, Jake.”

He smiled, happily at first, but then the expression soured. “Well, I figured that maybe it would make you remember me once in a while. You know how it is, out of sight, out of mind.”

I ignored the attitude. “Here, help me put it on.”

quote:

I held out my left wrist, since the right was stuck in the brace. He fastened the catch easily, though it looked too delicate for his big fingers to manage.

“You’ll wear it?” he asked.

“Of course I will.”

He grinned at me—it was the happy smile that I loved to see him wear.

quote:

Her bare skin reacted oddly to the pulsing red and purple lights.

quote:

I returned it for a moment, but then my eyes shot reflexively around the room again, anxiously scanning the crowd for some sign of Edward or Alice.

“Why’re you so distracted?” Jacob wondered.

“It’s nothing,” I lied, trying to concentrate. “Thanks for the present, really. I love it.”

“Bella?” His brows pulled together, throwing his eyes deep into their shadow. “Something’s going on, isn’t it?”

“Jake, I… no, there’s nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me, you suck at lying. You should tell me what’s going on. We want to know these things,” he said, slipping into the plural at the end.

quote:

He was probably right; the wolves would certainly be interested in what was happening. Only I wasn’t sure what that was yet. I wouldn’t know for sure until I found Alice.

“Jacob, I will tell you. Just let me figure out what’s happening, okay? I need to talk to Alice.”

Understanding lit his expression. “The psychic saw something.”

“Yes, just when you showed up.”

“Is this about the bloodsucker in your room?” he murmured, pitching his voice below the thrum of the music.

“It’s related,” I admitted.

He processed that for a minute, leaning his head to one side while he read my face. “You know something you’re not telling me… something big.”

quote:

What was the point in lying again? He knew me too well. “Yes.”

Jacob stared at me for one short moment, and then turned to catch his pack brothers’ eyes where they stood in the entry, awkward and uncomfortable. When they took in his expression, they started moving, weaving their way agilely through the partiers, almost like they were dancing, too. In half a minute, they stood on either side of Jacob, towering over me.

“Now. Explain,” Jacob demanded.

Embry and Quil looked back and forth between our faces, confused and wary.

“Jacob, I don’t know everything.” I kept searching the room, now for a rescue. They had me backed into a corner in every sense.

“What you do know, then.”

They all folded their arms across their chests at exactly the same moment. It was a little bit funny, but mostly menacing.

quote:

And then I caught sight of Alice descending the stairs, her white skin glowing in the purple light.

“Alice!” I squeaked in relief.

She looked right at me as soon as I called her name, despite the thudding bass that should have drowned my voice. I waved eagerly, and watched her face as she took in the three werewolves leaning over me. Her eyes narrowed.

But, before that reaction, her face was full of stress and fear. I bit my lip as she skipped to my side.

Jacob, Quil, and Embry all leaned away from her with uneasy expressions. She put her arm around my waist.

quote:

“I need to talk to you,” she murmured into my ear.

“Er, Jake, I’ll see you later…,” I mumbled as we eased around them.

Jacob threw his long arm out to block our way, bracing his hand against the wall. “Hey, not so fast.”

Alice stared up at him, eyes wide and incredulous. “Excuse me?”

“Tell us what’s going on,” he demanded in a growl.

Jasper appeared quite literally out of nowhere. One second it was just Alice and me against the wall, Jacob blocking our exit, and then Jasper was standing on the other side of Jake’s arm, his expression terrifying.

Jacob slowly pulled his arm back. It seemed like the best move, going with the assumption that he wanted to keep that arm.

quote:

“We have a right to know,” Jacob muttered, still glaring at Alice.

Jasper stepped in between them, and the three werewolves braced themselves.

“Hey, hey,” I said, adding a slightly hysterical chuckle. “This is a party, remember?”

Nobody paid any attention to me. Jacob glared at Alice while Jasper glowered at Jacob. Alice’s face was suddenly thoughtful.

“It’s okay, Jasper. He actually has a point.”

Jasper did not relax his position.

I was sure the suspense was going to make my head explode in about one second. “What did you see, Alice?”

She stared at Jacob for one second, and then turned to me, evidently having chosen to let them hear.

“The decision’s been made.”

“You’re going to Seattle?”

“No.”

I felt the color drain out of my face. My stomach lurched. “They’re coming here,” I choked out.

The Quileute boys watched silently, reading every unconscious play of emotion on our faces. They were rooted in place, and yet not completely still. All three pairs of hands were trembling.

“Yes.”

“To Forks,” I whispered.

“Yes.”

“For?”

She nodded, understanding my question. “One carried your red shirt.”

quote:

I tried to swallow.

Jasper’s expression was disapproving. I could tell he didn’t like discussing this in front of the werewolves, but he had something he needed to say. “We can’t let them come that far. There aren’t enough of us to protect the town.”

“I know,” Alice said, her face suddenly desolate. “But it doesn’t matter where we stop them. There still won’t be enough of us, and some of them will come here to search.”

“No!” I whispered. The noise of the party overwhelmed the sound of my denial. All around us, my friends and neighbors and petty enemies ate and laughed and swayed to the music, oblivious to the fact that they were about to face horror, danger, maybe death. Because of me.

“Alice,” I mouthed her name. “I have to go, I have to get away from here.”

“That won’t help. It’s not like we’re dealing with a tracker. They’ll still come looking here first.”

“Then I have to go to meet them!” If my voice hadn’t been so hoarse and strained, it might have been a shriek. “If they find what they’re looking for, maybe they’ll go away and not hurt anyone else!”

quote:

“Bella!” Alice protested.

“Hold it,” Jacob ordered in a low, forceful voice. “What is coming?”

Alice turned her icy gaze on him. “Our kind. Lots of them.”

“Why?”

“For Bella. That’s all we know.”

“There are too many for you?” he asked.

Jasper bridled. “We have a few advantages, dog. It will be an even fight.”

“No,” Jacob said, and a strange, fierce half-smile spread across his face. “It won’t be even.”

“Excellent!” Alice hissed.

I stared, still frozen in horror, at Alice’s new expression. Her face was alive with exultation, all the despair wiped clean from her perfect features.

She grinned at Jacob, and he grinned back.

“Everything just disappeared, of course,” she told him in a smug voice. “That’s inconvenient, but, all things considered, I’ll take it.”

quote:

“We’ll have to coordinate,” Jacob said. “It won’t be easy for us. Still, this is our job more than yours.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but we need the help. We aren’t going to be picky.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait,” I interrupted them.

Alice was on her toes, Jacob leaning down toward her, both of their faces lit up with excitement, both of their noses wrinkled against the smell. They looked at me impatiently.

“Coordinate?” I repeated through my teeth.

“You didn’t honestly think you were going to keep us out of this?” Jacob asked.

“You are staying out of this!”

“Your psychic doesn’t think so.”

“Alice—tell them no!” I insisted. “They’ll get killed!”

Jacob, Quil, and Embry all laughed out loud.

“Bella,” Alice said, her voice soothing, placating, “separately we all could get killed. Together—”

“It’ll be no problem,” Jacob finished her sentence. Quil laughed again.

“How many?” Quil asked eagerly.

“No!” I shouted.

Alice didn’t even look at me. “It changes—twenty-one today, but the numbers are going down.”

quote:

“Why?” Jacob asked, curious.

“Long story,” Alice said, suddenly looking around the room. “And this isn’t the place for it.”

“Later tonight?” Jacob pushed.

“Yes,” Jasper answered him. “We were already planning a… strategic meeting. If you’re going to fight with us, you’ll need some instruction.”

The wolves all made a disgruntled face at the last part.

“No!” I moaned.

“This will be odd,” Jasper said thoughtfully. “I never considered working together. This has to be a first.”

“No doubt about that,” Jacob agreed. He was in a hurry now. “We’ve got to get back to Sam. What time?”

“What’s too late for you?”

All three rolled their eyes. “What time?” Jacob repeated.

“Three o’clock?”

“Where?”

“About ten miles due north of the Hoh Forest ranger station. Come at it from the west and you’ll be able to follow our scent in.”

“We’ll be there.” They turned to leave.

“Wait, Jake!” I called after him. “Please! Don’t do this!”

He paused, turning back to grin at me, while Quil and Embry headed impatiently for the door. “Don’t be ridiculous, Bells. You’re giving me a much better gift than the one I gave you.”

quote:

“No!” I shouted again. The sound of an electric guitar drowned my cry.

He didn’t respond; he hurried to catch up with his friends, who were already gone. I watched helplessly as Jacob disappeared.

quote:

“That had to be the longest part in the history of the world,” I complained on the way home.

quote:

Edward didn’t seem to disagree. “It’s over now,” he said, rubbing my arm soothingly.

Because I was the only one who needed soothing. Edward was fine now—all the Cullens were fine.

They’d all reassured me; Alice reaching up to pat my head as I left, eyeing Jasper meaningfully until a flood of peace swirled around me, Esme kissing my forehead and promising me everything was all right, Emmett laughing boisterously and asking why I was the only one who was allowed to fight with werewolves.… Jacob’s solution had them all relaxed, almost euphoric after the long weeks of stress. Doubt had been replaced with confidence. The party had ended on a note of true celebration.

Not for me.

Bad enough—horrible—that the Cullens would fight for me. It was already too much that I would have to allow that. It already felt like more than I could bear.

Not Jacob, too. Not his foolish, eager brothers—most of them even younger than I was. They were just oversized, over-muscled children, and they looked forward to this like it was picnic on the beach. I could not have them in danger, too. My nerves felt frayed and exposed. I didn’t know how much longer I could restrain the urge to scream out loud.

quote:

I whispered now, to keep my voice under control. “You’re taking me with you tonight.”

“Bella, you’re worn out.”

“You think I could sleep?”

He frowned. “This is an experiment. I’m not sure if it will be possible for us all to… cooperate. I don’t want you in the middle of that.”

quote:

As if that didn’t make me all the more anxious to go. “If you won’t take me, then I’ll call Jacob.”

His eyes tightened. That was a low blow, and I knew it. But there was no way I was being left behind.

quote:

He didn’t answer; we were at Charlie’s house now. The front light was on.

“See you upstairs,” I muttered.

I tiptoed in the front door. Charlie was asleep in the living room, overflowing the too-small sofa, and snoring so loudly I could have ripped a chainsaw to life and it wouldn’t have wakened him.

I shook his shoulder vigorously.

“Dad! Charlie!”

He grumbled, eyes still closed.

“I’m home now—you’re going to hurt your back sleeping like that. C’mon, time to move.”

It took a few more shakes, and his eyes never did open all the way, but I managed to get him off the couch. I helped him up to his bed, where he collapsed on top of the covers, fully dressed, and started snoring again.

He wasn’t going to be looking for me anytime soon.

Edward waited in my room while I washed my face and changed into jeans and a flannel shirt. He watched me unhappily from the rocking chair as I hung the outfit Alice had given me in my closet.

“Come here,” I said, taking his hand and pulling him to my bed.

I pushed him down on the bed and then curled up against his chest. Maybe he was right and I was tired enough to sleep. I wasn’t going to let him sneak off without me.

He tucked my quilt in around me, and then held me close.

“Please relax.”

“Sure.”

quote:

“This is going to work, Bella. I can feel it.”

My teeth locked together.

He was still radiating relief. Nobody but me cared if Jacob and his friends got hurt. Not even Jacob and his friends. Especially not them. He could tell I was about to lose it.

“Listen to me, Bella. This is going to be easy. The newborns will be completely taken by surprise. They’ll have no more idea that werewolves even exist than you did. I’ve seen how they act in a group, the way Jasper remembers. I truly believe that the wolves’ hunting techniques will work flawlessly against them. And with them divided and confused, there won’t be enough for the rest of us to do. Someone may have to sit out,” he teased.

“Piece of cake,” I mumbled tonelessly against his chest.

quote:

“Shhh,” he stroked my cheek. “You’ll see. Don’t worry now.”

He started humming my lullaby, but, for once, it didn’t calm me.

People—well, vampires and werewolves really, but still—people I loved were going to get hurt. Hurt because of me. Again. I wished my bad luck would focus a little more carefully. I felt like yelling up at the empty sky: It’s me you want—over here! Just me!

I tried to think of a way that I could do exactly that—force my bad luck to focus on me. It wouldn’t be easy. I would have to wait, bide my time.…

quote:

I did not fall asleep. The minutes passed quickly, to my surprise, and I was still alert and tense when Edward pulled us both up into a sitting position.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay and sleep?”

I gave him a sour look.

He sighed, and scooped me up in his arms before he jumped from my window.

He raced through the black, quiet forest with me on his back, and even in his run I could feel the elation. He ran the way he did when it was just us, just for enjoyment, just for the feel of the wind in his hair. It was the kind of thing that, during less anxious times, would have made me happy.

When we got to the big open field, his family was there, talking casually, relaxed. Emmett’s booming laugh echoed through the wide space now and then. Edward set me down and we walked hand in hand toward them.

It took me a minute, because it was so dark with the moon hidden behind the clouds, but I realized that we were in the baseball clearing. It was the same place where, more than a year ago, that first lighthearted evening with the Cullens had been interrupted by James and his coven. It felt strange to be here again—as if this gathering wouldn’t be complete until James and Laurent and Victoria joined us. But James and Laurent were never coming back. That pattern wouldn’t be repeated. Maybe all the patterns were broken.

quote:

Yes, someone had broken out of their pattern. Was it possible that the Volturi were the flexible ones in this equation?

I doubted it.

Victoria had always seemed like a force of nature to me—like a hurricane moving toward the coast in a straight line—unavoidable, implacable, but predictable. Maybe it was wrong to limit her that way. She had to be capable of adaptation.

quote:

“You know what I think?” I asked Edward.

He laughed. “No.”

I almost smiled.

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s all connected. Not just the two, but all three.”

“You’ve lost me.”

“Three bad things have happened since you came back.” I ticked them off on my fingers. “The newborns in Seattle. The stranger in my room. And—first of all—Victoria came to look for me.”

quote:

His eyes narrowed as he thought about it. “Why do you think so?”

“Because I agree with Jasper—the Volturi love their rules. They would probably do a better job anyway.” And I’d be dead if they wanted me dead, I added mentally. “Remember when you were tracking Victoria last year?”

“Yes.” He frowned. “I wasn’t very good at it.”

“Alice said you were in Texas. Did you follow her there?”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Yes. Hmm…”

“See—she could have gotten the idea there. But she doesn’t know what she’s doing, so the newborns are all out of control.”

He started shaking his head. “Only Aro knows exactly how Alice’s visions work.”

“Aro would know best, but wouldn’t Tanya and Irina and the rest of your friends in Denali know enough? Laurent lived with them for so long. And if he was still friendly enough with Victoria to be doing favors for her, why wouldn’t he also tell her everything he knew?”

Edward frowned. “It wasn’t Victoria in your room.”

“She can’t make new friends? Think about it, Edward. If it is Victoria doing this in Seattle, she’s made a lot of new friends. She’s created them.”

quote:

He considered it, his forehead creased in concentration.

“Hmm,” he finally said. “It’s possible. I still think the Volturi are most likely… But your theory—there’s something there. Victoria’s personality. Your theory suits her personality perfectly. She’s shown a remarkable gift for self-preservation from the start—maybe it’s a talent of hers. In any case, this plot would put her in no danger at all from us, if she sits safely behind and lets the newborns wreak their havoc here. And maybe little danger from the Volturi, either. Perhaps she’s counting on us to win, in the end, though certainly not without heavy casualties of our own. But no survivors from her little army to bear witness against her. In fact,” he continued, thinking it through, “if there were survivors, I’d bet she’d be planning to destroy them herself.… Hmm. Still, she’d have to have at least one friend who was a bit more mature. No fresh-made newborn left your father alive.…”

He frowned into space for a long moment, and then suddenly smiled at me, coming back from his reverie. “Definitely possible. Regardless, we’ve got to be prepared for anything until we know for sure. You’re very perceptive today,” he added. “It’s impressive.”

quote:

I sighed. “Maybe I’m just reacting to this place. It makes me feel like she’s close by… like she sees me now.”

His jaw muscles tensed at the idea. “She’ll never touch you, Bella,” he said.

In spite of his words, his eyes swept carefully across the dark trees. While he searched their shadows, the strangest expression crossed his face. His lips pulled back over his teeth and his eyes shone with an odd light—a wild, fierce kind of hope.

“Yet, what I wouldn’t give to have her that close,” he murmured. “Victoria, and anyone else who’s ever thought of hurting you. To have the chance to end this myself. To finish it with my own hands this time.”

I shuddered at the ferocious longing in his voice, and clenched his fingers more tightly with mine, wishing I was strong enough to lock our hands together permanently.

quote:

We were almost to his family, and I noticed for the first time that Alice did not look as optimistic as the others. She stood a little aside, watching Jasper stretching his arms as if he were warming up to exercise, her lips pushed out in a pout.

“Is something wrong with Alice?” I whispered.

Edward chuckled, himself again. “The werewolves are on their way, so she can’t see anything that will happen now. It makes her uncomfortable to be blind.”

Alice, though the farthest from us, heard his low voice. She looked up and stuck her tongue out at him. He laughed again.

“Hey, Edward,” Emmett greeted him. “Hey, Bella. Is he going to let you practice, too?”

Edward groaned at his brother. “Please, Emmett, don’t give her any ideas.”

quote:

“When will our guests arrive?” Carlisle asked Edward.

Edward concentrated for a moment, and then sighed. “A minute and a half. But I’m going to have to translate. They don’t trust us enough to use their human forms.”

Carlisle nodded. “This is hard for them. I’m grateful they’re coming at all.”

I stared at Edward, my eyes stretched wide. “They’re coming as wolves?”

quote:

He nodded, cautious of my reaction. I swallowed once, remembering the two times I’d seen Jacob in his wolf form—the first time in the meadow with Laurent, the second time on the forest lane where Paul had gotten angry at me.… They were both memories of terror.

A strange gleam came into Edward’s eyes, as though something had just occurred to him, something that was not altogether unpleasant. He turned away quickly, before I could see any more, back to Carlisle and the others.

“Prepare yourselves—they’ve been holding out on us.”

“What do you mean?” Alice demanded.

“Shh,” he cautioned, and stared past her into the darkness.

The Cullens’ informal circle suddenly widened out into a loose line with Jasper and Emmett at the spear point. From the way Edward leaned forward next to me, I could tell that he wished he was standing beside them. I tightened my hand around his.

I squinted toward the forest, seeing nothing.

“drat,” Emmett muttered under his breath. “Did you ever see anything like it?”

Esme and Rosalie exchanged a wide-eyed glance.

“What is it?” I whispered as quietly as I could. “I can’t see.”

“The pack has grown,” Edward murmured into my ear.

Hadn’t I told him that Quil had joined the pack? I strained to see the six wolves in the gloom. Finally, something glittered in the blackness—their eyes, higher up than they should be. I’d forgotten how very tall the wolves were. Like horses, only thick with muscle and fur—and teeth like knives, impossible to overlook.

I could only see the eyes. And as I scanned, straining to see more, it occurred to me that there were more than six pairs facing us. One, two, three… I counted the pairs swiftly in my head. Twice.

There were ten of them.

quote:

“Fascinating,” Edward murmured almost silently.

Carlisle took a slow, deliberate step forward. It was a careful movement, designed to reassure. “Welcome,” he greeted the invisible wolves.

“Thank you,” Edward responded in a strange, flat tone, and I realized at once that the words came from Sam. I looked to the eyes shining in the center of the line, the highest up, the tallest of them all. It was impossible to separate the shape of the big black wolf from the darkness.

Edward spoke again in the same detached voice, speaking Sam’s words. “We will watch and listen, but no more. That is the most we can ask of our self-control.”

quote:

“That is more than enough,” Carlisle answered. “My son Jasper”—he gestured to where Jasper stood, tensed and ready—“has experience in this area. He will teach us how they fight, how they are to be defeated. I’m sure you can apply this to your own hunting style.”

“They are different from you?” Edward asked for Sam.

Carlisle nodded. “They are all very new—only months old to this life. Children, in a way. They will have no skill or strategy, only brute strength. Tonight their numbers stand at twenty. Ten for us, ten for you—it shouldn’t be difficult. The numbers may go down. The new ones fight amongst themselves.”

A rumble passed down the shadowy line of wolves, a low growling mutter that somehow managed to sound enthusiastic.

“We are willing to take more than our share, if necessary,” Edward translated, his tone less indifferent now.

quote:

Carlisle smiled. “We’ll see how it plays out.”

“Do you know when and how they’ll arrive?”

“They’ll come across the mountains in four days, in the late morning. As they approach, Alice will help us intercept their path.”

“Thank you for the information. We will watch.”

With a sighing sound, the eyes sank closer to the ground one set at a time.

It was silent for two heartbeats, and then Jasper took a step into the empty space between the vampires and the wolves. It wasn’t hard for me to see him—his skin was as bright against the darkness as the wolves’ eyes. Jasper threw a wary glance toward Edward, who nodded, and then Jasper turned his back to the werewolves. He sighed, clearly uncomfortable.

“Carlisle’s right.” Jasper spoke only to us; he seemed to be trying to ignore the audience behind him. “They’ll fight like children. The two most important things you’ll need to remember are, first, don’t let them get their arms around you and, second, don’t go for the obvious kill. That’s all they’ll be prepared for. As long as you come at them from the side and keep moving, they’ll be too confused to respond effectively. Emmett?”

Emmett stepped out of the line with a huge smile.

Jasper backed toward the north end of the opening between the allied enemies. He waved Emmett forward.

“Okay, Emmett first. He’s the best example of a newborn attack.”

Emmett’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll try not to break anything,” he muttered.

quote:

Jasper grinned. “What I meant is that Emmett relies on his strength. He’s very straightforward about the attack. The newborns won’t be trying anything subtle, either. Just go for the easy kill, Emmett.”

Jasper backed up a few more paces, his body tensing.

“Okay, Emmett—try to catch me.”

And I couldn’t see Jasper anymore—he was a blur as Emmett charged him like a bear, grinning while he snarled. Emmett was impossibly quick, too, but not like Jasper. It looked like Jasper had no more substance than a ghost—any time it seemed Emmett’s big hands had him for sure, Emmett’s fingers clenched around nothing but the air. Beside me, Edward leaned forward intently, his eyes locked on the brawl. Then Emmett froze. Jasper had him from behind, his teeth an inch from his throat.

Emmett cussed.

quote:

There was a muttered rumble of appreciation from the watching wolves.

“Again,” Emmett insisted, his smile gone.

“It’s my turn,” Edward protested. My fingers tensed around his.

“In a minute.” Jasper grinned, stepping back. “I want to show Bella something first.”

quote:

I watched with anxious eyes as he waved Alice forward.

“I know you worry about her,” he explained to me as she danced blithely into the ring. “I want to show you why that’s not necessary.”

Though I knew that Jasper would never allow any harm to come to Alice, it was still hard to watch as he sank back into a crouch facing her. Alice stood motionlessly, looking tiny as a doll after Emmett, smiling to herself. Jasper shifted forward, then slinked to her left.

Alice closed her eyes.

My heart thumped unevenly as Jasper stalked toward where Alice stood.

Jasper sprang, disappearing. Suddenly he was on the other side of Alice. She didn’t appear to have moved.

Jasper wheeled and launched himself at her again, only to land in a crouch behind her like the first time; all the while Alice stood smiling with her eyes closed.

I watched Alice more carefully now.

She was moving—I’d just been missing it, distracted by Jasper’s attacks. She took a small step forward at the exact second that Jasper’s body flew through the spot where she’d just been standing. She took another step, while Jasper’s grasping hands whistled past where her waist had been.

Jasper closed in, and Alice began to move faster. She was dancing—spiraling and twisting and curling in on herself. Jasper was her partner, lunging, reaching through her graceful patterns, never touching her, like every movement was choreographed.

Finally, Alice laughed. Out of nowhere she was perched on Jasper’s back, her lips at his neck.

“Gotcha,” she said, and kissed his throat.

quote:

Jasper chuckled, shaking his head. “You truly are one frightening little monster.”

The wolves muttered again. This time the sound was wary.

“It’s good for them to learn some respect,” Edward murmured, amused. Then he spoke louder. “My turn.”

He squeezed my hand before he let it go.

Alice came to take his place beside me. “Cool, huh?” she asked me smugly.

“Very,” I agreed, not looking away from Edward as he glided noiselessly toward Jasper, his movements lithe and watchful as a jungle cat.

“I’ve got my eye on you, Bella,” she whispered suddenly, her voice pitched so low that I could barely hear, though her lips were at my ear.

My gaze flickered to her face and then back to Edward. He was intent on Jasper, both of them feinting as he closed the distance.

Alice’s expression was full of reproach.

“I’ll warn him if your plans get any more defined,” she threatened in the same low murmur. “It doesn’t help anything for you to put yourself in danger. Do you think either of them would give up if you died? They’d still fight, we all would. You can’t change anything, so just be good, okay?”

I grimaced, trying to ignore her.

“I’m watching,” she repeated.

quote:

Edward had closed on Jasper now, and this fight was more even than either of the others. Jasper had the century of experience to guide him, and he tried to go on instinct alone as much as he could, but his thoughts always gave him away a fraction of a second before he acted. Edward was slightly faster, but the moves Jasper used were unfamiliar to him. They came at each other again and again, neither one able to gain the advantage, instinctive snarls erupting constantly. It was hard to watch, but harder to look away. They moved too fast for me to really understand what they were doing. Now and then the sharp eyes of the wolves would catch my attention. I had a feeling the wolves were getting more out of this than I was—maybe more than they should.

Eventually, Carlisle cleared his throat.

quote:

Jasper laughed, and took a step back. Edward straightened up and grinned at him.

“Back to work,” Jasper consented. “We’ll call it a draw.”

Everyone took turns, Carlisle, then Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett again. I squinted through my lashes, cringing as Jasper attacked Esme. That one was the hardest to watch.

Then he slowed down, still not quite enough for me to understand his motions, and gave more instruction. “You see what I’m doing here?” he would ask. “Yes, just like that,” he encouraged. “Concentrate on the sides. Don’t forget where their target will be. Keep moving.”

Edward was always focused, watching and also listening to what others couldn’t see.

It got more difficult to follow as my eyes got heavier. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, anyway, and it was approaching a solid twenty-four hours since the last time I’d slept. I leaned against Edward’s side, and let my eyelids droop.

“We’re about finished,” he whispered.

quote:

Jasper confirmed that, turning toward the wolves for the first time, his expression uncomfortable again. “We’ll be doing this tomorrow. Please feel welcome to observe again.”

“Yes,” Edward answered in Sam’s cool voice. “We’ll be here.”

Then Edward sighed, patted my arm, and stepped away from me. He turned to his family.

“The pack thinks it would be helpful to be familiar with each of our scents—so they don’t make mistakes later. If we could hold very still, it will make it easier for them.”

“Certainly,” Carlisle said to Sam. “Whatever you need.”

There was a gloomy, throaty grumble from the wolf pack as they all rose to their feet.

My eyes were wide again, exhaustion forgotten.

quote:

The deep black of the night was just beginning to fade—the sun brightening the clouds, though it hadn’t cleared the horizon yet, far away on the other side of the mountains. As they approached, it was suddenly possible to make out shapes… colors.

Sam was in the lead, of course. Unbelievably huge, black as midnight, a monster straight out of my nightmares—literally; after the first time I’d seen Sam and the others in the meadow, they’d starred in my bad dreams more than once.

Now that I could see them all, match the vastness with each pair of eyes, it looked like more than ten. The pack was overwhelming.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Edward was watching me, carefully evaluating my reaction.

Sam approached Carlisle where he stood in the front, the huge pack right on his tail. Jasper stiffened, but Emmett, on the other side of Carlisle, was grinning and relaxed.

quote:

Sam sniffed at Carlisle, seeming to wince slightly as he did. Then he moved on to Jasper.

My eyes ran down the wary brace of wolves. I was sure I could pick out a few of the new additions. There was a light gray wolf that was much smaller than the others, the hackles on the back of his neck raised in distaste. There was another, the color of desert sand, who seemed gangly and uncoordinated beside the rest. A low whine broke through the sandy wolf’s control when Sam’s advance left him isolated between Carlisle and Jasper.

I stopped at the wolf just behind Sam. His fur was reddish-brown and longer than the others, shaggy in comparison. He was almost as tall as Sam, the second largest in the group. His stance was casual, somehow exuding nonchalance over what the rest obviously considered an ordeal. The enormous russet-colored wolf seemed to feel my gaze, and he looked up at me with familiar black eyes. I stared back at him, trying to believe what I already knew. I could feel the wonder and fascination on my face.

The wolf’s muzzle fell open, pulling back over his teeth. It would have been a frightening expression, except that his tongue lolled out the side in a wolfy grin.

I giggled.

quote:

Jacob’s grin widened over his sharp teeth. He left his place in line, ignoring the eyes of his pack as they followed him. He trotted past Edward and Alice to stand not two feet away from me. He stopped there, his gaze flickering briefly toward Edward.

Edward stood motionless, a statue, his eyes still assessing my reaction.

Jacob crouched down on his front legs and dropped his head so that his face was no higher than mine, staring at me, measuring my response just as much as Edward was.

“Jacob?” I breathed.

The answering rumble deep in his chest sounded like a chuckle. I reached my hand out, my fingers trembling slightly, and touched the red-brown fur on the side of his face.

The black eyes closed, and Jacob leaned his huge head into my hand. A thrumming hum resonated in this throat.

quote:

The fur was both soft and rough, and warm against my skin. I ran my fingers through it curiously, learning the texture, stroking his neck where the color deepened. I hadn’t realized how close I’d gotten; without warning, Jacob suddenly licked my face from chin to hairline.

“Ew! Gross, Jake!” I complained, jumping back and smacking at him, just as I would have if he were human. He dodged out of the way, and the coughing bark that came through his teeth was obviously laughter.

I wiped my face on the sleeve of my shirt, unable to keep from laughing with him.

quote:

It was at that point that I realized that everyone was watching us, the Cullens and the werewolves—the Cullens with perplexed and somewhat disgusted expressions. It was hard to read the wolves’ faces. I thought Sam looked unhappy.

And then there was Edward, on edge and clearly disappointed. I realized he’d been hoping for a different reaction from me. Like screaming and running away in terror.

quote:

Jacob made the laughing sound again.

quote:

The other wolves were backing away now, not taking their eyes off the Cullens as they departed. Jacob stood by my side, watching them go. Soon, they disappeared into the murky forest. Only two hesitated by the trees, watching Jacob, their postures radiating anxiety.

Edward sighed, and—ignoring Jacob—came to stand on my other side, taking my hand.

“Ready to go?” he asked me.

Before I could answer, he was staring over me at Jacob.

“I’ve not quite figured out all the details yet,” he said, answering a question in Jacob’s thoughts.

The Jacob-wolf grumbled sullenly.

“It’s more complicated than that,” Edward said. “Don’t concern yourself; I’ll make sure it’s safe.”

“What are you talking about?” I demanded.

“Just discussing strategy,” Edward said.

Jacob’s head swiveled back and forth, looking at our faces. Then, suddenly, he bolted for the forest. As he darted away, I noticed for the first time a square of folded black fabric secured to his back leg.

quote:

“Wait,” I called, one hand stretching out automatically to reach after him. But he disappeared into the trees in seconds, the other two wolves following.

“Why did he leave?” I asked, hurt.

“He’s coming back,” Edward said. He sighed. “He wants to be able to talk for himself.”

I watched the edge of the forest where Jacob had vanished, leaning into Edward’s side again. I was on the point of collapse, but I was fighting it.

quote:

Jacob loped back into view, on two legs this time. His broad chest was bare, his hair tangled and shaggy. He wore only a pair of black sweat pants, his feet bare to the cold ground. He was alone now, but I suspected that his friends lingered in the trees, invisible.

It didn’t take him long to cross the field, though he gave a wide berth to the Cullens, who stood talking quietly in a loose circle.

“Okay, bloodsucker,” Jacob said when he was a few feet from us, evidently continuing the conversation I’d missed. “What’s so complicated about it?”

“I have to consider every possibility,” Edward said, unruffled. “What if someone gets by you?”

Jacob snorted at that idea. “Okay, so leave her on the reservation. We’re making Collin and Brady stay behind anyway. She’ll be safe there.”

I scowled. “Are you talking about me?”

“I just want to know what he plans to do with you during the fight,” Jacob explained.

“Do with me?”

“You can’t stay in Forks, Bella.” Edward’s voice was pacifying. “They know where to look for you there. What if someone slipped by us?”

My stomach dropped and the blood drained from my face. “Charlie?” I gasped.

“He’ll be with Billy,” Jacob assured me quickly. “If my dad has to commit a murder to get him there, he’ll do it. Probably it won’t take that much. It’s this Saturday, right? There’s a game.”

quote:

“This Saturday?” I asked, my head spinning. I was too lightheaded to control my wildly random thoughts. I frowned at Edward. “Well, crap! There goes your graduation present.”

Edward laughed. “It’s the thought that counts,” he reminded me. “You can give the tickets to someone else.”

Inspiration came swiftly. “Angela and Ben,” I decided at once. “At least that will get them out of town.”

He touched my cheek. “You can’t evacuate everyone,” he said in a gentle voice. “Hiding you is just a precaution. I told you—we’ll have no problem now. There won’t be enough of them to keep us entertained.”

quote:

“But what about keeping her in La Push?” Jacob interjected, impatient.

“She’s been back and forth too much,” Edward said. “She’s left trails all over the place. Alice only sees very young vampires coming on the hunt, but obviously someone created them. There is someone more experienced behind this. Whoever he”—Edward paused to look at me—“or she is, this could all be a distraction. Alice will see if he decides to look himself, but we could be very busy at the time that decision is made. Maybe someone is counting on that. I can’t leave her somewhere she’s been frequently. She has to be hard to find, just in case. It’s a very long shot, but I’m not taking chances.”

I stared at Edward as he explained, my forehead creasing. He patted my arm.

“Just being overcautious,” he promised.

quote:

Jacob gestured to the deep forest east of us, to the vast expanse of the Olympic Mountains. “So hide her here,” he suggested. “There’s a million possibilities—places either one of us could be in just a few minutes if there’s a need.”

Edward shook his head. “Her scent is too strong and, combined with mine, especially distinct. Even if I carried her, it would leave a trail. Our trace is all over the range, but in conjunction with Bella’s scent, it would catch their attention. We’re not sure exactly which path they’ll take, because they don’t know yet. If they crossed her scent before they found us…”

Both of them grimaced at the same time, their eyebrows pulling together.

“You see the difficulties.”

“There has to be a way to make it work,” Jacob muttered. He glared toward the forest, pursing his lips.

I swayed on my feet. Edward put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer and supporting my weight.

quote:

“I need to get you home—you’re exhausted. And Charlie will be waking up soon.…”

“Wait a sec,” Jacob said, wheeling back to us, his eyes bright. “My scent disgusts you, right?”

“Hmm, not bad.” Edward was two steps ahead. “It’s possible.” He turned toward his family. “Jasper?” he called.

Jasper looked up curiously. He walked over with Alice a half step behind. Her face was frustrated again.

“Okay, Jacob.” Edward nodded at him.

Jacob turned toward me with a strange mixture of emotion on his face. He was clearly excited by whatever this new plan of his was, but he was also still uneasy so close to his enemy allies. And then it was my turn to be wary as he held his arms out toward me.

Edward took a deep breath.

“We’re going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail,” Jacob explained.

I stared at his open arms suspiciously.

“You’re going to have to let him carry you, Bella,” Edward told me. His voice was calm, but I could hear the subdued distaste.

I frowned.

Jacob rolled his eyes, impatient, and reached down to yank me up into his arms. “Don’t be such a baby,” he muttered.

quote:

But his eyes flickered to Edward, just like mine did. Edward’s face was composed and smooth. He spoke to Jasper.

“Bella’s scent is so much more potent to me—I thought it would be a fairer test if someone else tried.”

Jacob turned away from them and paced swiftly into the woods. I didn’t say anything as the dark closed around us. I was pouting, uncomfortable in Jacob’s arms. It felt too intimate to me—surely he didn’t need to hold me quite so tightly—and I couldn’t help but wonder what it felt like to him. It reminded me of my last afternoon in La Push, and I didn’t want to think about that. I folded my arms, annoyed when the brace on my hand intensified the memory.

quote:

We didn’t go far; he made a wide arc and came back into the clearing from a different direction, maybe half a football field away from our original departure point. Edward was there alone and Jacob headed toward him.

“You can put me down now.”

“I don’t want to take a chance of messing up the experiment.” His walk slowed and his arms tightened.

“You are so annoying,” I muttered.

“Thanks.”

Out of nowhere, Jasper and Alice stood beside Edward. Jacob took one more step, and then set me down a half dozen feet from Edward. Without looking back at Jacob, I walked to Edward’s side and took his hand.

“Well?” I asked.

“As long as you don’t touch anything, Bella, I can’t imagine someone sticking their nose close enough to that trail to catch your scent,” Jasper said, grimacing. “It was almost completely obscured.”

“A definite success,” Alice agreed, wrinkling her nose.

“And it gave me an idea.”

“Which will work,” Alice added confidently.

quote:

“Clever,” Edward agreed.

“How do you stand that?” Jacob muttered to me.

Edward ignored Jacob and looked at me while he explained. “We’re—well, you’re—going to leave a false trail to the clearing, Bella. The newborns are hunting, your scent will excite them, and they’ll come exactly the way we want them to without being careful about it. Alice can already see that this will work. When they catch our scent, they’ll split up and try to come at us from two sides. Half will go through the forest, where her vision suddenly disappears.…”

“Yes!” Jacob hissed.

Edward smiled at him, a smile of true comradeship.

I felt sick. How could they be so eager for this? How could I stand having both of them in danger? I couldn’t.

I wouldn’t.

quote:

“Not a chance,” Edward said suddenly, his voice disgusted. It made me jump, worrying that he’d somehow heard my resolve, but his eyes were on Jasper.

“I know, I know,” Jasper said quickly. “I didn’t even consider it, not really.”

Alice stepped on his foot.

“If Bella was actually there in the clearing,” Jasper explained to her, “it would drive them insane. They wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything but her. It would make picking them off truly easy.…”

Edward’s glare had Jasper backtracking.

“Of course it’s too dangerous for her. It was just an errant thought,” he said quickly. But he looked at me from the corner of his eyes, and the look was wistful.

quote:

“No,” Edward said. His voice rang with finality.

“You’re right,” Jasper said. He took Alice’s hand and started back to the others. “Best two out of three?” I heard him ask her as they went to practice again.

Jacob stared after him in disgust.

“Jasper looks at things from a military perspective,” Edward quietly defended his brother. “He looks at all the options—it’s thoroughness, not callousness.”

Jacob snorted.

quote:

He’d edged closer unconsciously, drawn by his absorption in the planning. He stood only three feet from Edward now, and, standing there between them, I could feel the physical tension in the air. It was like static, an uncomfortable charge.

Edward got back to business. “I’ll bring her here Friday afternoon to lay the false trail. You can meet us afterward, and carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way, and easily defensible, not that it will come to that. I’ll take another route there.”

“And then what? Leave her with a cell phone?” Jacob asked critically.

“You have a better idea?”

Jacob was suddenly smug. “Actually, I do.”

“Oh.… Again, dog, not bad at all.”

Jacob turned to me quickly, as if determined to play the good guy by keeping me in the conversation. “We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with the younger two. He’s still too young, but he’s stubborn and he’s resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for him—cell phone.”

I tried to look like I got it. No one was fooled.

“As long as Seth Clearwater is in his wolf form, he’ll be connected to the pack,” Edward said. “Distance isn’t a problem?” he added, turning to Jacob.

“Nope.”

“Three hundred miles?” Edward asked. “That’s impressive.”

Jacob was the good guy again. “That’s the farthest we’ve ever gone to experiment,” he told me. “Still clear as a bell.”

quote:

I nodded absently; I was reeling from the idea that little Seth Clearwater was already a werewolf, too, and that made it difficult to concentrate. I could see his bright smile, so much like a younger Jacob, in my head; he couldn’t be more than fifteen, if he was that. His enthusiasm at the council meeting bonfire suddenly took on new meaning.…

“It’s a good idea.” Edward seemed reluctant to admit this. “I’ll feel better with Seth there, even without the instantaneous communication. I don’t know if I’d be able to leave Bella there alone. To think it’s come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!”

“Fighting with vampires instead of against them!” Jacob mirrored Edward’s tone of disgust.

“Well, you still get to fight against some of them,” Edward said.

Jacob smiled. “That’s the reason we’re here.”

chitoryu12 posted:

quote:

Edward carried me home in his arms, expecting that I wouldn’t be able to hang on. I must have fallen asleep on the way.

When I woke up, I was in my bed and the dull light coming through my windows slanted in from a strange angle. Almost like it was afternoon.

I yawned and stretched, my fingers searching for him and coming up empty.

“Edward?” I mumbled.

My seeking fingers encountered something cool and smooth. His hand.

“Are you really awake this time?” he murmured.

“Mmm,” I sighed in assent. “Have there been a lot of false alarms?”

“You’ve been very restless—talking all day.”

“All day?” I blinked and looked at the windows again.

“You had a long night,” he said reassuringly. “You’d earned a day in bed.”

I sat up, and my head spun. The light was coming in my window from the west. “Wow.”

quote:

“Hungry?” he guessed. “Do you want breakfast in bed?”

“I’ll get it,” I groaned, stretching again. “I need to get up and move around.”

He held my hand on the way to the kitchen, eyeing me carefully, like I might fall over. Or maybe he thought I was sleepwalking.

I kept it simple, throwing a couple of Pop-Tarts in the toaster. I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflective chrome.

“Ugh, I’m a mess.”

quote:

“It was a long night,” he said again. “You should have stayed here and slept.”

“Right! And missed everything. You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I’m part of the family now.”

He smiled. “I could probably get used to that idea.”

I sat down with my breakfast, and he sat next to me. When I lifted the Pop-Tart to take the first bite, I noticed him staring at my hand. I looked down, and saw that I was still wearing the gift that Jacob had given me at the party.

“May I?” he asked, reaching for the tiny wooden wolf.

I swallowed noisily. “Um, sure.”

He moved his hand under the charm bracelet and balanced the little figurine in his snowy palm. For a fleeting moment, I was afraid. Just the slightest twist of his fingers could crush it into splinters.

But of course Edward wouldn’t do that. I was embarrassed I’d even had the thought. He only weighed the wolf in his palm for a moment, and then let it fall. It swung lightly from my wrist.

quote:

I tried to read the expression in his eyes. All I could see was thoughtfulness; he kept everything else hidden, if there was anything else.

“Jacob Black can give you presents.”

It wasn’t a question, or an accusation. Just a statement of fact. But I knew he was referring to my last birthday and the fit I’d thrown over gifts; I hadn’t wanted any. Especially not from Edward. It wasn’t entirely logical, and, of course, everyone had ignored me anyway.…

“You’ve given me presents,” I reminded him. “You know I like the homemade kind.”

He pursed his lips for a second. “How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?”

quote:

“What do you mean?”

“This bracelet.” His finger traced a circle around my wrist. “You’ll be wearing this a lot?”

I shrugged.

“Because you wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings,” he suggested shrewdly.

“Sure, I guess so.”

“Don’t you think it’s fair, then,” he asked, looking down at my hand as he spoke. He turned it palm up, and ran his finger along the veins in my wrist. “If I have a little representation?”

“Representation?”

“A charm—something to keep me on your mind.”

“You’re in every thought I have. I don’t need reminders.”

“If I gave you something, would you wear it?” he pressed.

“A hand-me-down?” I checked.

“Yes, something I’ve had for a while.” He smiled his angel’s smile.

quote:

If this was the only reaction to Jacob’s gift, I would take it gladly. “Whatever makes you happy.”

“Have you noticed the inequality?” he asked, and his voice turned accusing. “Because I certainly have.”

“What inequality?”

quote:

His eyes narrowed. “Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn’t. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That’s utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?”

“Easy.” I shrugged. “You’re more important than everyone else. And you’ve given me you. That’s already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance.”

He processed that for a moment, and then rolled his eyes. “The way you regard me is ludicrous.”

quote:

I chewed my breakfast calmly. I knew he wouldn’t listen if I told him that he had that backward.

Edward’s phone buzzed. He looked at the number before he opened it. “What is it, Alice?”

He listened, and I waited for his reaction, suddenly nervous. But whatever she said didn’t surprise him. He sighed a few times.

“I sort of guessed as much,” he told her, staring into my eyes, a disapproving arch to his brow. “She was talking in her sleep.”

I flushed. What had I said now?

“I’ll take care of it,” he promised.

He glared at me as he shut his phone. “Is there something you’d like to talk to me about?”

I deliberated for a moment. Given Alice’s warning last night, I could guess why she’d called. And then remembering the troubled dreams I’d had as I’d slept through the day—dreams where I chased after Jasper, trying to follow him and find the clearing in the maze-like woods, knowing I would find Edward there… Edward, and the monsters who wanted to kill me, but not caring about them because I’d already made my decision—I could also guess what Edward had overheard while I’d slept.

I pursed my lips for a moment, not quite able to meet his gaze. He waited.

“I like Jasper’s idea,” I finally said.

quote:

He groaned.

“I want to help. I have to do something,” I insisted.

“It wouldn’t help to have you in danger.”

“Jasper thinks it would. This is his area of expertise.”

Edward glowered at me.

“You can’t keep me away,” I threatened. “I’m not going to hide out in the forest while you all take risks for me.”

Suddenly, he was fighting a smile. “Alice doesn’t see you in the clearing, Bella. She sees you stumbling around lost in the woods. You won’t be able to find us; you’ll just make it more time consuming for me to find you afterward.”

quote:

I tried to keep as cool as he was. “That’s because Alice didn’t factor in Seth Clearwater,” I said politely. “If she had, of course, she wouldn’t have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like Seth wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn’t be too hard to persuade him to show me the way.”

Anger flickered across his face, and then he took a deep breath and composed himself. “That might have worked… if you hadn’t told me. Now I’ll just ask Sam to give Seth certain orders. Much as he might want to, Seth won’t be able to ignore that kind of injunction.”

I kept my smile pleasant. “But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would help for me to be there? I’ll bet Sam would rather do me a favor than you.”

He had to compose himself again. “Maybe you’re right. But I’m sure Jacob would be only too eager to give those same orders.”

I frowned. “Jacob?”

“Jacob is second in command. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed, too.”

He had me, and by his smile, he knew it. My forehead crumpled. Jacob would be on his side—in this one instance—I was sure. And Jacob never had told me that.

quote:

Edward took advantage of the fact that I was momentarily stumped, continuing in a suspiciously smooth and soothing voice.

“I got a fascinating look into the pack’s mind last night. It was better than a soap opera. I had no idea how complex the dynamic is with such a large pack. The pull of the individual against the plural psyche… Absolutely fascinating.”

He was obviously trying to distract me. I glared at him.

quote:

“Jacob’s been keeping a lot of secrets,” he said with a grin.

I didn’t answer, I just kept glaring, holding on to my argument and waiting for an opening.

“For instance, did you note the smaller gray wolf there last night?”

I nodded one stiff nod.

He chuckled. “They take all of their legends so seriously. It turns out there are things that none of their stories prepared them for.”

I sighed. “Okay, I’ll bite. What are you talking about?”

“They always accepted without question that it was only the direct grandsons of the original wolf who had the power to transform.”

“So someone changed who wasn’t a direct descendant?”

“No. She’s a direct descendant, all right.”

I blinked, and my eyes widened. “She?”

He nodded. “She knows you. Her name is Leah Clearwater.”

“Leah’s a werewolf!” I shrieked. “What? For how long? Why didn’t Jacob tell me?”

quote:

“There are things he wasn’t allowed to share—their numbers, for instance. Like I said before, when Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn’t able to ignore it. Jacob was very careful to think of other things when he was near me. Of course, after last night that’s all out the window.”

“I can’t believe it. Leah Clearwater!” Suddenly, I remembered Jacob speaking of Leah and Sam, and the way he acted as if he’d said too much—after he’d said something about Sam having to look in Leah’s eyes every day and know that he’d broken all his promises.… Leah on the cliff, a tear glistening on her cheek when Old Quil had spoken of the burden and sacrifice the Quileute sons shared.… And Billy, spending time with Sue because she was having trouble with her kids… and here the trouble actually was that both of them were werewolves now!

I hadn’t given much thought to Leah Clearwater, just to grieve for her loss when Harry had passed away, and then to pity her again when Jacob had told her story, about how the strange imprinting between Sam and her cousin Emily had broken Leah’s heart. And now she was part of Sam’s pack, hearing his thoughts… and unable to hide her own.

I really hate that part, Jacob had said. Everything you’re ashamed of, laid out for everyone to see.

quote:

“Poor Leah,” I whispered.

Edward snorted. “She’s making life exceedingly unpleasant for the rest of them. I’m not sure she deserves your sympathy.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s hard enough for them, having to share all their thoughts. Most of them try to cooperate, make it easier. When even one member is deliberately malicious, it’s painful for everyone.”

“She has reason enough,” I mumbled, still on her side.

“Oh, I know,” he said. “The imprinting compulsion is one of the strangest things I’ve ever witnessed in my life, and I’ve seen some strange things.” He shook his head wonderingly. “The way Sam is tied to his Emily is impossible to describe—or I should say her Sam. Sam really had no choice. It reminds me of A Midsummer Night’s Dream with all the chaos caused by the fairies’ love spells… like magic.” He smiled. “It’s very nearly as strong as the way I feel about you.”

quote:

“Poor Leah,” I said again. “But what do you mean, malicious?”

“She’s constantly bringing up things they’d rather not think of,” he explained. “For example, Embry.”

“What’s with Embry?” I asked, surprised.

“His mother moved down from the Makah reservation seventeen years ago, when she was pregnant with him. She’s not Quileute. Everyone assumed she’d left his father behind with the Makahs. But then he joined the pack.”

“So?”

“So the prime candidates for his father are Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all of them married at that point, of course.”

quote:

“No!” I gasped. Edward was right—this was exactly like a soap opera.

“Now Sam, Jacob, and Quil all wonder which of them has a half-brother. They’d all like to think it’s Sam, since his father was never much of a father. But the doubt is always there. Jacob’s never been able to ask Billy about that.”

quote:

“Wow. How did you get so much in one night?”

“The pack mind is mesmerizing. All thinking together and then separately at the same time. There’s so much to read!”

He sounded faintly regretful, like someone who’d had to put down a good book just before the climax. I laughed.

quote:

“The pack is fascinating,” I agreed. “Almost as fascinating as you are when you’re trying to distract me.”

His expression became polite again—a perfect poker face.

“I have to be in that clearing, Edward.”

“No,” he said in a very final tone.

A certain path occurred to me at that moment.

It wasn’t so much that I had to be in the clearing. I just had to be where Edward was.

Cruel, I accused myself. Selfish, selfish, selfish! Don’t do it!

quote:

I ignored my better instincts. I couldn’t look at him while I spoke, though. The guilt had my eyes glued to the table.

“Okay, look, Edward,” I whispered. “Here’s the thing… I’ve already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are. And I can’t stand it if you leave me again.”

I didn’t look up to see his reaction, afraid to know how much pain I was inflicting. I did hear his sudden intake of breath and the silence that followed. I stared at the dark wooden tabletop, wishing I could take the words back. But knowing I probably wouldn’t. Not if it worked.

Suddenly, his arms were around me, his hands stroking my face, my arms. He was comforting me. The guilt went into spiral mode. But the survival instinct was stronger. There was no question that he was fundamental to my survival.

“You know it’s not like that, Bella,” he murmured. “I won’t be far, and it will be over quickly.”

“I can’t stand it,” I insisted, still staring down. “Not knowing whether or not you’ll come back. How do I live through that, no matter how quickly it’s over?”

quote:

He sighed. “It’s going to be easy, Bella. There’s no reason for your fears.”

“None at all?”

“None.”

“And everybody will be fine?”

“Everyone,” he promised.

“So there’s no way at all that I need to be in the clearing?”

“Of course not. Alice just told me that they’re down to nineteen. We’ll be able to handle it easily.”

“That’s right—you said it was so easy that someone could sit out,” I repeated his words from last night. “Did you really mean that?”

“Yes.”

It felt too simple—he had to see it coming.

“So easy that you could sit out?”

After a long moment of silence, I finally looked up at his expression. The poker face was back.

I took a deep breath. “So it’s one way or the other. Either there is more danger than you want me to know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there, to do what I can to help. Or… it’s going to be so easy that they’ll get by without you. Which way is it?”

quote:

He didn’t speak.

I knew what he was thinking of—the same thing I was thinking of. Carlisle. Esme. Emmett. Rosalie. Jasper. And… I forced myself to think the last name. And Alice.

I wondered if I was a monster. Not the kind that he thought he was, but the real kind. The kind that hurt people. The kind that had no limits when it came to what they wanted.

What I wanted was to keep him safe, safe with me. Did I have a limit to what I would do, what I would sacrifice for that? I wasn’t sure.

quote:

“You ask me to let them fight without my help?” he said in a quiet voice.

“Yes.” I was surprised I could keep my voice even, I felt so wretched inside. “Or to let me be there. Either way, so long as we’re together.”

He took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly. He moved his hands to place them on either side of my face, forcing me to meet his gaze. He looked into my eyes for a long time. I wondered what he was looking for, and what it was that he found. Was the guilt as thick on my face as it was in my stomach—sickening me?

His eyes tightened against some emotion I couldn’t read, and he dropped one hand to pull out his phone again.

“Alice,” he sighed. “Could you come babysit Bella for a bit?” He raised one eyebrow, daring me to object to the word. “I need to speak with Jasper.”

She evidently agreed. He put the phone away and went back to staring at my face.

“What are you going to say to Jasper?” I whispered.

“I’m going to discuss… me sitting out.”

It was easy to read in his face how difficult the words were for him.

“I’m sorry.”

I was sorry. I hated to make him do this. Not enough that I could fake a smile and tell him to go on ahead without me. Definitely not that much.

quote:

“Don’t apologize,” he said, smiling just a little. “Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need…” He shrugged. “You are my first priority.”

“I didn’t mean it that way—like you have to choose me over your family.”

“I know that. Besides, that’s not what you asked. You gave me two alternatives that you could live with, and I chose the one that I could live with. That’s how compromise is supposed to work.”

quote:

I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his chest. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“Anytime,” he answered, kissing my hair. “Anything.”

We didn’t move for a long moment. I kept my face hidden, pressed against his shirt. Two voices struggled inside me. One that wanted to be good and brave, and one that told the good one to keep her mouth shut.

chitoryu12 posted:

Chapter 19: Selfish
Bella just described a story that is infinitely more interesting than the one we're getting as if it's just a footnote.

Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:

I would read the werewolf soap opera only if it had an author better suited to handle the unpleasant issues like imprinting. Meyer can't even write her main character handling how unpleasant the emotional blackmail in this scene should be if Bella was as good a person Meyer claimed. It was uncomfortable only because I've been on the receiving end in the past.

quote:

“Who’s the third wife?” he asked me suddenly.

“Huh?” I said, stalling. I didn’t remember having had that dream again.

“You were mumbling something about ‘the third wife’ last night. The rest made a little sense, but you lost me there.”

“Oh. Um, yeah. That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night.” I shrugged. “I guess it stuck with me.”

Edward leaned away from me and cocked his head to the side, probably confused by the uncomfortable edge to my voice.

quote:

Before he could ask, Alice appeared in the kitchen doorway with a sour expression.

“You’re going to miss all the fun,” she grumbled.

“Hello, Alice,” he greeted her. He put one finger under my chin and tilted my face up to kiss me goodbye.

“I’ll be back later tonight,” he promised me. “I’ll go work this out with the others, rearrange things.”

“Okay.”

“There’s not much to arrange,” Alice said. “I already told them. Emmett is pleased.”

Edward sighed. “Of course he is.”

quote:

He walked out the door, leaving me to face Alice.

She glared at me.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized again. “Do you think this will make it more dangerous for you?”

She snorted. “You worry too much, Bella. You’re going to go prematurely gray.”

“Why are you upset, then?”

“Edward is such a grouch when he doesn’t get his way. I’m just anticipating living with him for the next few months.” She made a face. “I suppose, if it keeps you sane, it’s worth it. But I wish you could control the pessimism, Bella. It’s so unnecessary.”

“Would you let Jasper go without you?” I demanded.

Alice grimaced. “That’s different.”

“Sure it is.”

quote:

“Go clean yourself up,” she ordered me. “Charlie will be home in fifteen minutes, and if you look this ragged he’s not going to want to let you out again.”

Wow, I’d really lost the whole day. It felt like such a waste. I was glad I wouldn’t always have to squander my time with sleeping.

I was entirely presentable when Charlie got home—fully dressed, hair decent, and in the kitchen putting his dinner on the table. Alice sat in Edward’s usual place, and this seemed to make Charlie’s day.

“Howdy, Alice! How are you, hon?”

“I’m fine, Charlie, thanks.”

“I see you finally made it out of bed, sleepyhead,” he said to me as I sat beside him, before turning back to Alice. “Everyone’s talking about that party your parents threw last night. I’ll bet you’ve got one heck of a clean-up job ahead of you.”

quote:

Alice shrugged. Knowing her, it was already done.

“It was worth it,” she said. “It was a great party.”

“Where’s Edward?” Charlie asked, a little grudgingly. “Is he helping clean up?”

Alice sighed and her face turned tragic. It was probably an act, but it was too perfect for me to be positive. “No. He’s off planning the weekend with Emmett and Carlisle.”

“Hiking again?”

Alice nodded, her face suddenly forlorn. “Yes. They’re all going, except me. We always go backpacking at the end of the school year, sort of a celebration, but this year I decided I’d rather shop than hike, and not one of them will stay behind with me. I’m abandoned.”

Her face puckered, the expression so devastated that Charlie leaned toward her automatically, one hand reaching out, looking for some way to help. I glared at her suspiciously. What was she doing?

quote:

“Alice, honey, why don’t you come stay with us,” Charlie offered. “I hate to think of you all alone in that big house.”

She sighed. Something squashed my foot under the table.

“Ow!” I protested.

Charlie turned to me. “What?”

Alice shot me a frustrated look. I could tell she thought that I was very slow tonight.

“Stubbed my toe,” I muttered.

quote:

“Oh.” He looked back at Alice. “So, how ’bout it?”

She stepped on my foot again, not quite so hard this time.

“Er, Dad, you know, we don’t really have the best accommodations here. I bet Alice doesn’t want to sleep on my floor.…”

Charlie pursed his lips. Alice pulled out the devastated expression again.

“Maybe Bella should stay up there with you,” he suggested. “Just until your folks get back.”

“Oh, would you, Bella?” Alice smiled at me radiantly. “You don’t mind shopping with me, right?”

“Sure,” I agreed. “Shopping. Okay.”

“When are they leaving?” Charlie asked.

Alice made another face. “Tomorrow.”

“When do you want me?” I asked.

“After dinner, I guess,” she said, and then put one finger to her chin, thoughtful. “You don’t have anything going on Saturday, do you? I want to get out of town to shop, and it will be an all-day thing.”

“Not Seattle,” Charlie interjected, his eyebrows pulling together.

quote:

“Of course not,” Alice agreed at once, though we both knew Seattle would be plenty safe on Saturday. “I was thinking Olympia, maybe.…”

“You’ll like that, Bella.” Charlie was cheerful with relief. “Go get your fill of the city.”

“Yeah, Dad. It’ll be great.”

With one easy conversation, Alice had cleared my schedule for the battle.

quote:

Edward returned not much later. He accepted Charlie’s wishes for a nice trip without surprise. He claimed they were leaving early in the morning, and said goodnight before the usual time. Alice left with him.

I excused myself soon after they left.

“You can’t be tired,” Charlie protested.

“A little,” I lied.

“No wonder you like to skip the parties,” he muttered. “It takes you so long to recover.”

quote:

Upstairs, Edward was lying across my bed.

“What time are we meeting with the wolves?” I murmured as I went to join him.

“In an hour.”

“That’s good. Jake and his friends need to get some sleep.”

“They don’t need as much as you do,” he pointed out.

I moved to another topic, assuming he was about to try to talk me into staying home. “Did Alice tell you that she’s kidnapping me again?”

He grinned. “Actually, she’s not.”

I stared at him, confused, and he laughed quietly at my expression.

“I’m the only one who has permission to hold you hostage, remember?” he said. “Alice is going hunting with the rest of them.” He sighed. “I guess I don’t need to do that now.”

“You’re kidnapping me?”

He nodded.

quote:

I thought about that briefly. No Charlie listening downstairs, checking on me every so often. And no houseful of wide-awake vampires with their intrusively sensitive hearing.… Just him and me—really alone.

“Is that all right?” he asked, concerned by my silence.

quote:

“Well… sure, except for one thing.”

“What thing?” His eyes were anxious. It was mind-boggling, but, somehow, he still seemed unsure of his hold on me. Maybe I needed to make myself more clear.

“Why didn’t Alice tell Charlie you were leaving tonight?” I asked.

He laughed, relieved.

I enjoyed the trip to the clearing more than I had last night. I still felt guilty, still afraid, but I wasn’t terrified anymore. I could function. I could see past what was coming, and almost believe that maybe it would be okay. Edward was apparently fine with the idea of missing the fight… and that made it very hard not to believe him when he said this would be easy. He wouldn’t leave his family if he didn’t believe it himself. Maybe Alice was right, and I did worry too much.

quote:

We got to the clearing last.

Jasper and Emmett were already wrestling—just warming up from the sounds of their laughter. Alice and Rosalie lounged on the hard ground, watching. Esme and Carlisle were talking a few yards away, heads close together, fingers linked, not paying attention.

It was much brighter tonight, the moon shining through the thin clouds, and I could easily see the three wolves that sat around the edge of the practice ring, spaced far apart to watch from different angles.

It was also easy to recognize Jacob; I would have known him at once, even if he hadn’t looked up and stared at the sound of our approach.

“Where are the rest of the wolves?” I wondered.

“They don’t all need to be here. One would do the job, but Sam didn’t trust us enough to just send Jacob, though Jacob was willing. Quil and Embry are his usual… I guess you could call them his wingmen.”

quote:

“Jacob trusts you.”

Edward nodded. “He trusts us not to try to kill him. That’s about it, though.”

“Are you participating tonight?” I asked, hesitant. I knew this was going to be almost as hard for him as being left behind would have been for me. Maybe harder.

“I’ll help Jasper when he needs it. He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how to deal with multiple attackers.”

He shrugged.

And a fresh wave of panic shattered my brief sense of confidence.

They were still outnumbered. I was making that worse.

I stared at the field, trying to hide my reaction.

quote:

It was the wrong place to look, struggling as I was to lie to myself, to convince myself that everything would work out as I needed it to. Because when I forced my eyes away from the Cullens—away from the image of their play fighting that would be real and deadly in just a few days—Jacob caught my eyes and smiled.

It was the same wolfy grin as before, his eyes scrunching the way they did when he was human. It was hard to believe that, not so long ago, I’d found the werewolves frightening—lost sleep to nightmares about them.

quote:

I knew, without asking, which of the others was Embry and which was Quil. Because Embry was clearly the thinner gray wolf with the dark spots on his back, who sat so patiently watching, while Quil—deep chocolate brown, lighter over his face—twitched constantly, looking like he was dying to join in the mock fight. They weren’t monsters, even like this. They were friends.

Friends who didn’t look nearly as indestructible as Emmett and Jasper did, moving faster than cobra strikes while the moonlight glinted off their granite-hard skin. Friends who didn’t seem to understand the danger involved here. Friends who were still somewhat mortal, friends who could bleed, friends who could die.…

Edward’s confidence was reassuring, because it was plain that he wasn’t truly worried about his family. But would it hurt him if something happened to the wolves? Was there any reason for him to be anxious, if that possibility didn’t bother him? Edward’s confidence only applied to one set of my fears.

quote:

I tried to smile back at Jacob, swallowing against the lump in my throat. I didn’t seem to get it right.

Jacob sprang lightly to his feet, his agility at odds with his sheer mass, and trotted over to where Edward and I stood on the fringe of things.

“Jacob,” Edward greeted him politely.

Jacob ignored him, his dark eyes on me. He put his head down to my level, as he had yesterday, cocking it to one side. A low whimper escaped his muzzle.

“I’m fine,” I answered, not needing the translation that Edward was about to give. “Just worried, you know.”

Jacob continued to stare at me.

quote:

“He wants to know why,” Edward murmured.

Jacob growled—not a threatening sound, an annoyed sound—and Edward’s lips twitched.

“What?” I asked.

“He thinks my translations leave something to be desired. What he actually thought was, ‘That’s really stupid. What is there to be worried about?’ I edited, because I thought it was rude.”

quote:

I halfway smiled, too anxious to really feel amused. “There’s plenty to be worried about,” I told Jacob. “Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt.”

Jacob laughed his coughing bark.

Edward sighed. “Jasper wants help. You’ll be okay without a translator?”

“I’ll manage.”

Edward looked at me wistfully for one minute, his expression hard to understand, then turned his back and strode over to where Jasper waited.

I sat down where I was. The ground was cold and uncomfortable.

Jacob took a step forward, then looked back at me, and a low whine rose in his throat. He took another half-step.

“Go on without me,” I told him. “I don’t want to watch.”

Jacob leaned his head to the side again for a moment, and then folded himself on to the ground beside me with a rumbling sigh.

“Really, you can go ahead,” I assured him.

He didn’t respond, he just put his head down on his paws.

quote:

I stared up at the bright silver clouds, not wanting to see the fight. My imagination had more than enough fuel. A breeze blew through the clearing, and I shivered.

Jacob scooted himself closer to me, pressing his warm fur against my left side.

“Er, thanks,” I muttered.

After a few minutes, I leaned against his wide shoulder. It was much more comfortable that way.

The clouds moved slowly across the sky, dimming and brightening as thick patches crossed the moon and passed on.

Absently, I began pulling my fingers through the fur on his neck. That same strange humming sound that he’d made yesterday rumbled in his throat. It was a homey kind of sound. Rougher, wilder than a cat’s purr, but conveying the same sense of contentment.

quote:

“You know, I never had a dog,” I mused. “I always wanted one, but Renée’s allergic.”

Jacob laughed; his body shook under me.

“Aren’t you worried about Saturday at all?” I asked.

He turned his enormous head toward me, so that I could see one of his eyes roll.

“I wish I could feel that positive.”

He leaned his head against my leg and started humming again. And it did make me feel just a little bit better.

“So we’ve got some hiking to do tomorrow, I guess.”

He rumbled; the sound was enthusiastic.

“It might be a long hike,” I warned him. “Edward doesn’t judge distances the way a normal person does.”

Jacob barked another laugh.

I settled deeper into his warm fur, resting my head against his neck.

quote:

It was strange. Even though he was in this bizarre form, this felt more like the way Jake and I used to be—the easy, effortless friendship that was as natural as breathing in and out—than the last few times I’d been with Jacob while he was human. Odd that I should find that again here, when I’d thought this wolf thing was the cause of its loss.

The killing games continued in the clearing, and I stared at the hazy moon.

Dawgstar posted:

Alice is like the only half-interesting character at this point and I almost want to say she deserves a better writer.

Dienes posted:

Leah is so much more interesting than Bella, and the love triangle she is in is so much more tragic and angsty than what Myers tries to do with Bella.

Epicurius posted:

They're all more interesting than Bella. I don't want to read this story, I want to read about, I dunno, how Jasper became the youngest Major in the Texas cavalry, or Emmett hunting a bear, or some time Alice was mislead by one of her visions, or Jacob's brother in law, the surfer, or Carlisle Cullen, colonial doctor, or how Charlie got elected sheriff, or how he and Billy met, or how the Volturi dealt with the coming of Mussolini, or, a lot of things, really.

MorgaineDax posted:

I love how every side character and society is so much more interesting than Bella, and yet when Meyer did a novella in the Twilight universe, out of all the possible options for a protagonist? loving Bree Tanner, the mousy brunette teenage girl with boy problems.

chitoryu12 posted:

I would really like to see more monster works set extremely far in the past. They rarely go earlier than medieval times, but think about how cool it would be to set a vampire story in the time of Tutankhamen.

chitoryu12 posted:

Has any work ever been more perfect for fanfiction writers? She somehow managed to craft the world's most frustratingly wasted story. She made not only a bad series, but one that focuses on the exact opposite of what it should every single time. It's an impressive level of commitment to making the wrong decision at every choice she can, to the point where it could be mistaken for intentional.

Proteus Jones posted:

Anne Rice kind of did this with Queen of the Damned. It’s been almost 20 years since I read that and the only real take away from it I have is that Anne Rice really, really likes the word preternatural.

quote:

Everything was ready.

I was packed for my two-day visit with “Alice,” and my bag waited for me on the passenger seat of my truck. I’d given the concert tickets to Angela, Ben, and Mike. Mike was going to take Jessica, which was exactly as I’d hoped. Billy had borrowed Old Quil Ateara’s boat and invited Charlie down for some open sea fishing before the afternoon game started. Collin and Brady, the two youngest werewolves, were staying behind to protect La Push—though they were just children, both of them only thirteen. Still, Charlie would be safer than anyone left in Forks.

I had done all that I could do. I tried to accept that, and put the things that were outside of my control out of my head, for tonight at least. One way or another, this would all be over in forty-eight hours. The thought was almost comforting.

Edward had requested that I relax, and I was going to do my best.

“For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?” he’d pleaded, unleashing the full force of his eyes on me. “It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you.”

quote:

That was not a hard request to agree to, though I knew that forgetting my fears would be much easier said than done. Other matters were on my mind now, knowing that we had this night to be alone, and that would help.

There were some things that had changed.

For instance, I was ready.

I was ready to join his family and his world. The fear and guilt and anguish I was feeling now had taught me that much. I’d had a chance to concentrate on this—as I’d gazed at the moon through the clouds and rested against a werewolf—and I knew I would not panic again. The next time something came at us, I would be ready. An asset, not a liability. He would never have to make the choice between me and his family again. We would be partners, like Alice and Jasper. Next time, I would do my part.

I would wait for the sword to be removed from over my head, so that Edward would be satisfied. But it wasn’t necessary. I was ready.

quote:

There was only one missing piece.

One piece, because there were some things that had not changed, and that included the desperate way I loved him. I’d had plenty of time to think through the ramifications of Jasper and Emmett’s bet—to figure out the things I was willing to lose with my humanity, and the part that I was not willing to give up. I knew which human experience I was going to insist on before I became inhuman.

So we had some things to work out tonight. After everything I’d seen in the past two years, I didn’t believe in the word impossible anymore. It was going to take more than that to stop me now.

Okay, well, honestly, it was probably going to be much more complicated than that. But I was going to try.

quote:

As decided as I was, I wasn’t surprised that I still felt nervous as I drove down the long path to his house—I didn’t know how to do what I was trying to do, and that guaranteed me some serious jitters. He sat in the passenger seat, fighting a smile at my slow pace. I was surprised that he hadn’t insisted on taking the wheel, but tonight he seemed content to go at my speed.

It was after dark when we reached the house. In spite of that, the meadow was bright in the light shining from every window.

As soon as I cut the engine he was at my door, opening it for me. He lifted me from the cab with one arm, slinging my bag out of the truck bed and over his shoulder with the other. His lips found mine as I heard him kick the truck’s door shut behind me.

quote:

Without breaking the kiss, he swung me up so that I was cradled in his arms and carried me into the house.

Was the front door already open? I didn’t know. We were inside, though, and I was dizzy. I had to remind myself to breathe.

This kissing did not frighten me. It wasn’t like before when I could feel the fear and panic leaking through his control. His lips were not anxious, but enthusiastic now—he seemed as thrilled as I was that we had tonight to concentrate on being together. He continued to kiss me for several minutes, standing there in the entry; he seemed less guarded than usual, his mouth cold and urgent on mine.

I began to feel cautiously optimistic. Perhaps getting what I wanted would not be as difficult as I’d expected it to be.

No, of course it was going to be just exactly that difficult.

quote:

With a low chuckle, he pulled me away, holding me at arm’s length.

“Welcome home,” he said, his eyes liquid and warm.

“That sounds nice,” I said, breathless.

He set me gently on my feet. I wrapped both my arms around him, refusing to allow any space between us.

“I have something for you,” he said, his tone conversational.

“Oh?”

“Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable.”

“Oh, that’s right. I guess I did say that.”

He chuckled at my reluctance. “It’s up in my room. Shall I go get it?”

His bedroom? “Sure,” I agreed, feeling quite devious as I wound my fingers through his. “Let’s go.”

He must have been eager to give me my non-present, because human velocity was not fast enough for him. He scooped me up again and nearly flew up the stairs to his room. He set me down at the door, and darted into his closet. He was back before I’d taken a step, but I ignored him and went to the huge gold bed, plopping down on the edge and then sliding to the center. I curled up in a ball, my arms wrapped around my knees.

quote:

“Okay,” I grumbled. Now that I was where I wanted to be, I could afford a little reluctance. “Let me have it.”

Edward laughed.

He climbed onto the bed to sit next to me, and my heart thumped unevenly. Hopefully he would write that off as some reaction to him giving me presents.

“A hand-me-down,” he reminded me sternly. He pulled my left wrist away from my leg, and touched the silver bracelet for just a moment. Then he gave me my arm back.

I examined it cautiously. On the opposite side of the chain from the wolf, there now hung a brilliant heart-shaped crystal. It was cut in a million facets, so that even in the subdued light shining from the lamp, it sparkled. I inhaled in a low gasp.

quote:

“It was my mother’s.” He shrugged deprecatingly. “I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I’ve given some to Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way.”

I smiled ruefully at his assurance.

“But I thought it was a good representation,” he continued. “It’s hard and cold.” He laughed. “And it throws rainbows in the sunlight.”

“You forgot the most important similarity,” I murmured. “It’s beautiful.”

“My heart is just as silent,” he mused. “And it, too, is yours.”

quote:

I twisted my wrist so the heart would glimmer. “Thank you. For both.”

“No, thank you. It’s a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you, too.” He grinned, flashing his teeth.

I leaned into him, ducking my head under his arm and cuddling into his side. It probably felt similar to snuggling with Michelangelo’s David, except that this perfect marble creature wrapped his arms around me to pull me closer.

quote:

It seemed like a good place to start.

“Can we discuss something? I’d appreciate it if you could begin by being open-minded.”

He hesitated for a moment. “I’ll give it my best effort,” he agreed, cautious now.

“I’m not breaking any rules here,” I promised. “This is strictly about you and me.” I cleared my throat. “So… I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would like to apply the same principle to a different situation.” I wondered why I was being so formal. Must be the nerves.

“What would you like to negotiate?” he asked, a smile in his voice.

I struggled, trying to find exactly the right words to open with.

“Listen to your heart fly,” he murmured. “It’s fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings. Are you all right?”

quote:

“I’m great.”

“Please go on then,” he encouraged.

“Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing.”

“It’s only ridiculous to you. What about it?”

“I was wondering… is that open to negotiation?”

Edward frowned, serious now. “I’ve already made the largest concession by far and away—I’ve agreed to take your life away against my better judgment. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part.”

“No.” I shook my head, focusing on keeping my face composed. “That part’s a done deal. We’re not discussing my… renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details.”

quote:

He looked at me suspiciously. “Which details do you mean exactly?”

I hesitated. “Let’s clarify your prerequisites first.”

“You know what I want.”

“Matrimony.” I made it sound like a dirty word.

quote:

“Yes.” He smiled a wide smile. “To start with.”

The shock spoiled my carefully composed expression. “There’s more?”

“Well,” he said, and his face was calculating. “If you’re my wife, then what’s mine is yours… like tuition money. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth.”

“Anything else? While you’re already being absurd?”

“I wouldn’t mind some time.”

“No. No time. That’s a deal breaker right there.”

He sighed longingly. “Just a year or two?”

I shook my head, my lips set in a stubborn frown. “Move along to the next one.”

“That’s it. Unless you’d like to talk cars…”

He grinned widely when I grimaced, then took my hand and began playing with my fingers.

“I didn’t realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I’m extremely curious.” His voice was low and soft. The slight edge would have been hard to detect if I hadn’t known it so well.

I paused, staring at his hand on mine. I still didn’t know how to begin. I felt his eyes watching me and I was afraid to look up. The blood began to burn in my face.

quote:

His cool fingers brushed my cheek. “You’re blushing?” he asked in surprise. I kept my eyes down. “Please, Bella, the suspense is painful.”

I bit my lip.

“Bella.” His tone reproached me now, reminded me that it was hard for him when I kept my thoughts to myself.

quote:

“Well, I’m a little worried… about after,” I admitted, finally looking at him.

I felt his body tense, but his voice was gentle and velvet. “What has you worried?”

“All of you just seem so convinced that the only thing I’m going to be interested in, afterward, is slaughtering everyone in town,” I confessed, while he winced at my choice of words. “And I’m afraid I’ll be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won’t be me anymore… and that I won’t… I won’t want you the same way I do now.”

“Bella, that part doesn’t last forever,” he assured me.

He was missing the point.

quote:

“Edward,” I said, nervous, staring at a freckle on my wrist. “There’s something that I want to do before I’m not human anymore.”

He waited for me to continue. I didn’t. My face was all hot.

“Whatever you want,” he encouraged, anxious and completely clueless.

“Do you promise?” I muttered, knowing my attempt to trap him with his words was not going to work, but unable to resist.

“Yes,” he said. I looked up to see that his eyes were earnest and confused. “Tell me what you want, and you can have it.”

I couldn’t believe how awkward and idiotic I felt. I was too innocent—which was, of course, central to the discussion. I didn’t have the faintest idea how to be seductive. I would just have to settle for flushed and self-conscious.

quote:

“You,” I mumbled almost incoherently.

“I’m yours.” He smiled, still oblivious, trying to hold my gaze as I looked away again.

I took a deep breath and shifted forward so that I was kneeling on the bed. Then I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

He kissed me back, bewildered but willing. His lips were gentle against mine, and I could tell his mind was elsewhere—trying to figure out what was on my mind. I decided he needed a hint.

My hands were slightly shaky as I unlocked my arms from around his neck. My fingers slid down his neck to the collar of his shirt. The trembling didn’t help as I tried to hurry to undo the buttons before he stopped me.

His lips froze, and I could almost hear the click in his head as he put together my words and my actions.

He pushed me away at once, his face heavily disapproving.

“Be reasonable, Bella.”

“You promised—whatever I wanted,” I reminded him without hope.

“We’re not having this discussion.” He glared at me while he refastened the two buttons I’d managed to open.

My teeth clamped together.

“I say we are,” I growled. I moved my hands to my blouse and yanked open the top button.

He grabbed my wrists and pinned them to my sides.

“I say we’re not,” he said flatly.

quote:

We glowered at each other.

“You wanted to know,” I pointed out.

“I thought it would be something faintly realistic.”

“So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want—like getting married—but I’m not allowed to even discuss what I—”

While I was ranting, he pulled my hands together to restrain them in just one of his, and put his other hand over my mouth.

“No.” His face was hard.

quote:

I took a deep breath to steady myself. And, as the anger began to fade, I felt something else.

It took me a minute to recognize why I was staring down again, the blush returning—why my stomach felt uneasy, why there was too much moisture in my eyes, why I suddenly wanted to run from the room.

Rejection washed through me, instinctive and strong.

I knew it was irrational. He’d been very clear on other occasions that my safety was the only factor. Yet I’d never made myself quite so vulnerable before. I scowled at the golden comforter that matched his eyes and tried to banish the reflex reaction that told me I was unwanted and unwantable.

quote:

Edward sighed. The hand over my mouth moved under my chin, and he pulled my face up until I had to look at him. “What now?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled.

He scrutinized my face for a long moment while I tried unsuccessfully to twist away from his gaze. His brow furrowed, and his expression became horrified.

“Did I hurt your feelings?” he asked, shocked.

“No,” I lied.

So quickly that I wasn’t even sure how it happened, I was in his arms, my face cradled between his shoulder and his hand, while his thumb stroked reassuringly against my cheek.

quote:

“You know why I have to say no,” he murmured. “You know that I want you, too.”

“Do you?” I whispered, my voice full of doubt.

“Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl.” He laughed once, and then his voice was bleak. “Doesn’t everyone? I feel like there’s a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake.… You’re too desirable for your own good.”

“Who’s being silly now?” I doubted if awkward, self-conscious, and inept added up to desirable in anyone’s book.

“Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose names would be on the top of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you.”

quote:

I shook my head against his chest, grimacing. “You’re just trying to distract me. Let’s get back to the subject.”

He sighed.

“Tell me if I have anything wrong.” I tried to sound detached. “Your demands are marriage”—I couldn’t say the word without making a face—“paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn’t mind if my vehicle went a little faster.” I raised my eyebrows. “Did I get everything? That’s a hefty list.”

“Only the first is a demand.” He seemed to be having a hard time keeping a straight face. “The others are merely requests.”

“And my lone, solitary little demand is—”

“Demand?” he interrupted, suddenly serious again.

“Yes, demand.”

His eyes narrowed.

“Getting married is a stretch for me. I’m not giving in unless I get something in return.”

He leaned down to whisper in my ear. “No,” he murmured silkily. “It’s not possible now. Later, when you’re less breakable. Be patient, Bella.”

quote:

I tried to keep my voice firm and reasonable. “But that’s the problem. It won’t be the same when I’m less breakable. I won’t be the same! I don’t know who I’ll be then.”

“You’ll still be Bella,” he promised.

I frowned. “If I’m so far gone that I’d want to kill Charlie—that I’d drink Jacob’s blood or Angela’s if I got the chance—how can that be true?”

“It will pass. And I doubt you’ll want to drink the dog’s blood.” He pretended to shudder at the thought. “Even as a newborn, you’ll have better taste than that.”

I ignored his attempt to sidetrack me. “But that will always be what I want most, won’t it?” I challenged. “Blood, blood, and more blood!”

quote:

“The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true,” he pointed out.

“Over eighty years later,” I reminded him. “What I meant was physically, though. Intellectually, I know I’ll be able to be myself… after a while. But just purely physically—I will always be thirsty, more than anything else.”

He didn’t answer.

“So I will be different,” I concluded unopposed. “Because right now, physically, there’s nothing I want more than you. More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physically…”

quote:

I twisted my head to kiss the palm of his hand.

He took a deep breath. I was surprised that it sounded a little unsteady.

“Bella, I could kill you,” he whispered.

“I don’t think you could.”

Edward’s eyes tightened. He lifted his hand from my face and reached quickly behind himself for something I couldn’t see. There was a muffled snapping sound, and the bed quivered beneath us. Something dark was in his hand; he held it up for my curious examination. It was a metal flower, one of the roses that adorned the wrought iron posts and canopy of his bed frame. His hand closed for a brief second, his fingers contracting gently, and then it opened again.

Without a word, he offered me the crushed, uneven lump of black metal. It was a cast of the inside of his hand, like a piece of play dough squeezed in a child’s fist. A half-second passed, and the shape crumbled into black sand in his palm.

I glared. “That’s not what I meant. I already know how strong you are. You didn’t have to break the furniture.”

“What did you mean then?” he asked in a dark voice, tossing the handful of iron sand to the corner of the room; it hit the wall with a sound like rain.

quote:

His eyes were intent on my face as I struggled to explain.

“Obviously not that you aren’t physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to… More that, you don’t want to hurt me… so much so that I don’t think that you ever could.”

He started shaking his head before I was done. “It might not work like that, Bella.”

“Might,” I scoffed. “You have no more idea what you’re talking about than I do.”

“Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?”

I stared into his eyes for a long minute. There was no sign of compromise, no hint of indecision in them.

“Please,” I finally whispered, hopeless. “It’s all I want. Please.” I closed my eyes in defeat, waiting for the quick and final no.

But he didn’t answer immediately. I hesitated in disbelief, stunned to hear that his breathing was uneven again.

I opened my eyes, and his face was torn.

quote:

“Please?” I whispered again, my heartbeat picking up speed. My words tumbled out as I rushed to take advantage of the sudden uncertainty in his eyes. “You don’t have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn’t work out right, well, then that’s that. Just let us try… only try. And I’ll give you what you want,” I promised rashly. “I’ll marry you. I’ll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won’t complain about the bribe to get me in. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just… please.”