Chapter 16: Epochquote:"I have nothing to wear!" I moaned to myself. Bella is going to end up the sloppiest vampire in the world. quote:I scowled at the pile of clothes on my bed. The kicker was that I knew exactly what I would have worn if it were still available—my kidnapped red blouse. I punched the wall with my good hand. That's creepy as hell. quote:“Is it really so hard to wait for me to get the door?” I can't tell if Alice is intentionally mocking Bella or genuinely has no idea what she's doing when she talks to people. quote:She laughed. “Well, at least this makes up for missing your annoying thief—now I just have to figure out what I’m not seeing in Seattle.” Congratulations! You finally jumped to the most obvious conclusion! quote:Alice focused now, her voice suddenly sharp. “Why do you think that?” Has any writer ever stopped and waited to see how long a minute actually is? quote:“You’re right,” she said in a hollow tone. “Of course you’re right. And when you put it that way.…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GO-qejMTkE The film does a lot of work to hold up the series and make it seem like Meyer knew what she was doing. Unbound by the first-person perspective, the films bounce back and forth between all the major characters and events that Meyer simply has happen in the background. If you were watching the movie instead of reading the book, you'd already know by this point that Victoria's building a newborn army to kill Bella and that the stolen blouse was to track her. Along with making the movie far more interesting than the book (though it still has most of the book's flaws), it acknowledges that this reveal is really obvious and doesn't try to keep it a secret from the audience. This is one of the reasons why it's never recommended that a first time writer write in first-person perspective. Along with the greater difficulty of expressing authentic emotion and finding ways to show feeling or subjective experiences, a first-person perspective forces you to decide how active your viewpoint character is in the story. This usually requires the writer to make the character capable in some way, even if it's just relative to the people around them, so they can get into tense situations without relying on other people to pull all the weight. If your character has limitations that prevent them from being an action hero, you find ways that they can use what qualities they do have. An easy example that many people might be familiar with from growing up is the Artemis Fowl series. Artemis is physically a wimp; even when he actually puts effort into physical fitness, he remains very weak compared to the fairies, bodyguards, and professional criminals that surround him and is completely incapable of winning a fight. But he's also a genius and a master manipulator, so when he gets forced into situations where he or his allies are in peril he has to use those traits to punch above his weight. Holly and Butler are the muscle who actually shoot things and beat people up, but he remains actively involved in the action without having to throw a punch. This is where Meyer's writing utterly fails at making an interesting story. Bella is much weaker than the vampires and werewolves whose conflict she stumbled upon, to the point where she'll literally hurt herself before she hurts them. But she's also given no traits that would let her influence the story in other ways, or tasks that she can do to help. The most she's ever allowed to do is occasionally yell at a few people to get them to do something she wants and act as a MacGuffin for the heroes and villains. Imagine if you were watching 24 and you never followed Jack Bauer. He would show up occasionally, talk to someone who wasn't involved in the action, and then leave and we'd hear about what he did after the fact. We would spend every episode just watching this uninvolved person worrying about his safety and getting into drama with her friends, and then she sees a news report about a gunfight that left 35 terrorists dead. quote:Her eyes were wide with shock. I was right, and I could see that she knew it, too. “Oh, no,” she mouthed. That's just your death fetish, Bella. quote:“If you think that one thing has changed, you’re absolutely wrong,” Alice said through her teeth. “If someone wants one of us, they’re going to have to go through the rest of us to get to her.” "Go check on Jacob to make sure he isn't slipping roofies into any tribal girls' drinks." quote:I heard him clump down the stairs. Always great when you need to keep important information hidden from your loved ones because they'll go on a rampage. quote:“Put it on,” Alice commanded as she flitted out the window. Edward fits in very well in the back of a police car! quote:“Are you all right?” Edward whispered when he helped me from the front seat in the school parking lot. "I only got to raise you for like, a year!" quote:“Dad,” I moaned. “Please don’t get all weepy on me.” Alice and Emmett are waiting in the rafters with the buckets of pig blood. quote:“Down here, Bella!” Jessica called again. I walked down the line to take my place behind Jessica, mildly curious as to why she was suddenly so friendly. As I got closer, I saw Angela five people back, watching Jessica with the same curiosity. Can you believe it's been exactly 7 months to the day since we started this series and it's only gotten worse? quote:“This is all just so incredible. Do you remember your first day here? We were friends, like, right away. From the first time we saw each other. Amazing. And now I’m off to California and you’ll be in Alaska and I’m going to miss you so much! You have to promise that we’ll get together sometimes! I’m so glad you’re having a party. That’s perfect. Because we really haven’t spent much time together in a while and now we’re all leaving.…” You didn't even do anything! You just pretended like everything was fine and brushed her off as "the enemy" when she acted like it wasn't! quote:Because it was an ending, no matter what Eric, the valedictorian, had to say about commencement meaning “beginning” and all the rest of the trite nonsense. Maybe more for me than for the rest, but we were all leaving something behind us today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMrgITIzg2o The film makes Jessica the valedictorian, allowing her to give a speech that pretty blatantly calls out Bella for her impulsiveness and poor decision making that ultimately doesn't matter. quote:I heard Mr. Greene call my name and I rose from my chair, waiting for the line in front of me to move. I was conscious of cheering in the back of the gym, and I looked around to see Jacob pulling Charlie to his feet, both of them hooting in encouragement. I could just make out the top of Billy’s head beside Jake’s elbow. I managed to throw them an approximation of a smile. Jacob shouts over the crowd "YOU FORGIVE ME FOR MOLESTING YOU RIGHT?" quote:Mr. Greene finished with the list of names, and then continued to hand out diplomas with a sheepish grin as we filed past. I'm sure Bella's disconnect from everything is supposed to be about her worries over the newborn army coming for her, but it's little different from her normal personality. quote:She threw her arms around my neck. “You have to promise we won’t lose touch.” "Except where I dissociated on you to get raped on purpose and ruined our friendship for the rest of our time together because I wasn't admitting fault." quote:“It was,” she sighed, and sniffed. Then she dropped her arms. “Lauren!” she squealed, waving over her head and pushing through the massed yellow gowns. Families were beginning to converge, pressing us tighter together. "She said something about another cancellation and had to completely remake the living room to fit the new symmetry of the group." quote:His voice took on a new tone. I looked up to see his confused expression as he stared toward the back door of the gym, and I made an impulse decision—the kind I really should think twice about, but rarely did. That's legitimately hilarious. quote:I laughed nervously. “I suppose that would keep her head busy enough.” She barely finishes one sentence and he bolts to annihilate Seattle so fast his robe is left falling to the floor. quote:In hurried whispers I explained my reasoning to him. “I think you’re wrong about things coming at us from all sides. I think it’s mostly coming at us from one side… and I think it’s coming at me, really. It’s all connected, it has to be. It’s just one person who’s messing with Alice’s visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It’s got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes—all of it goes together. My scent is for them.” How? He doesn't have any blood flow! That's why vampires are so pale! quote:“But no one’s coming for you, don’t you see? This is good—Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!” "Bella, we need to immediately fulfill our suicide pact." quote:“Bella!” Charlie crowed, pushing his way past the close-packed families around us. I know we're supposed to be empathizing with Edward but this just seems really funny? Charlie giving his happy congratulations and Bella trying to play it cool while Edward stands slack-jawed with a thousand-yard stare, arms halfway out like the world's dumbest statue. quote:“Yeah,” I assured my father, trying to pay enough attention. “Heard them, too.” Imagine wanting to spend the rest of your life with a romantic partner who not only has a dangerous temper, but the strength to wreck whole buildings with his bare hands if he wants to? quote:“So where do you want to go out for dinner?” Charlie asked. “The sky’s the limit.” quote:“What did I say?” Charlie asked with a guilty expression. The film wanted to establish Charlie as having a favorite restaurant, so he eats at the Carver Cafe (actually in Damascus, OR) in the first Twilight film. quote:I had my back to the front windows, and I resisted the urge to turn around and search for the eyes I could feel on me now. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see anything. Just as I knew there was no chance that he would leave me unguarded, even for a second. Not after this. People outside are entering the restaurant and wondering why this pale dude in a bright yellow graduation gown is sitting in a tree, staring at the windows. quote:Dinner dragged. Charlie, busy socializing, ate too slowly. I picked at my burger, stuffing pieces of it into my napkin when I was sure his attention was somewhere else. It all seemed to take a very long time, but when I looked at the clock—which I did more often than necessary—the hands hadn’t moved much. "Well that's an obvious lie!" quote:“Okay.” He turned away from me to say goodnight to everyone. I went out to wait by the cruiser. That's just the rock-hard sensation of his skin. Wait, how has nobody ever once touched a Cullen even by accident and found out their skin is like marble? quote:“How are you?” I asked as soon as he let me breathe. Neither can I! quote:“You’ve got a lot on your mind.” I don't think your parents threw screaming tantrums when given parties. quote:Charlie chuckled. “Well, you look really nice. I wish I’d thought to get you something. Sorry.” "Here, take my taser." quote:“I thought you were on Jacob’s side?” Wait, did his personality just completely reverse from the last chapter? quote:“No, Dad. That’s kind of sweet in a weird way, but I don’t think lessons would have helped. Jacob’s head is really hard.” I don't know anything, it seems! I can't figure out whose side he's on or what he thinks of this. It's like he's two different Charlies depending on the line. Am I having a stroke? quote:Charlie nodded slowly. “Yeah. The right thing isn’t always real obvious. Sometimes the right thing for one person is the wrong thing for someone else. So… good luck figuring that out.” This book would be so much better if it turns out that the Cullens like to pretend to get wasted and gently caress with people. Jasper always pulls the "Falling out the second floor window into a bush" trick. quote:“Where’s the turnoff, again?” he asked. “They ought to clear out their drive—it’s impossible to find in the dark.” Alice may be a creepy sociopath, but drat if she doesn't have a personality. quote:“Sure you don’t want to come in?”
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# ? Jan 21, 2020 17:25 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 14:43 |
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Seagull Fiasco posted:And none of it is ever really addressed as problematic, or as something a character might need to change to become a truly good partner. It's all just inevitable features of the one true love, and the story focuses heavily on this. Because Mormonism. This is basically the Mormon ideal for how a woman should treat her One True Love (who should also be the only guy she ever expresses any romantic interest in) because they chose each other before they were even born and are destined to be together.
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# ? Jan 21, 2020 18:51 |
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I've been loving this thread (and the James Bond one as well) but I'd like to offer a bit of an explanation for Bella being such a shithead, maybe? People keep focusing on how selfish and useless she's written to be, and I'm absolutely not saying that this was done on purpose by Meyer, but that's literally how it feels to be a teenage girl with low self esteem. You feel selfish, maybe for good reason, but often for no reason at all. You feel ugly and unpopular, even when the actual reality is that people like you. You feel useless and helpless, because no one seems to listen to you, even when you're literally telling this to people who do listen to you. In a weird way, the fact that Bella is portrayed as both selfish and useless but also super important to a lot of people and liked by them-- I think all of that is a massive part of why the book was so popular with teenage girls. I felt like that when I was a teenager. It's kind of strange to see people in the thread here comment on her selfishness and uselessness without acknowledging that those qualities are a major part of what made the character so identifiable to girls her age. Basically, what I'm saying is Meyer accidentally a realistic teenage girl mindset, somehow. The negative qualities only make it feel more real on an emotional level.
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# ? Jan 21, 2020 19:03 |
Lysistrata posted:I've been loving this thread (and the James Bond one as well) but I'd like to offer a bit of an explanation for Bella being such a shithead, maybe? People keep focusing on how selfish and useless she's written to be, and I'm absolutely not saying that this was done on purpose by Meyer, but that's literally how it feels to be a teenage girl with low self esteem. You feel selfish, maybe for good reason, but often for no reason at all. You feel ugly and unpopular, even when the actual reality is that people like you. You feel useless and helpless, because no one seems to listen to you, even when you're literally telling this to people who do listen to you. I've known fans of the book who have attributed this characterization to Bella, so I do have a rebuttal to that. The big problem with this is that Bella is not just a shithead, but she's pretty much devoid of any positive qualities. When you're writing a character who has low self-esteem due to insecurities, you want to have them actually display reasons for people to like them. You want it to be reasonable from an outside perspective for other people to like her, despite how much she puts herself down. But other than it being implied that Bella is more attractive than she lets on (including Midnight Sun where Edward outright says that her skin is naturally perfect and smooth without any effort on her part), we never really see her being desirable to be around other than occasional quips. She has no real interests outside of classic literature and Edward. She doesn't even seem to have had any idea of what to do as an adult before finding her True Love derailed the rest of her life. People gravitate toward her and love her unconditionally, but it's unfathomable as to why in many cases. It creates a serious disconnect from reality. She's a dull girl with nothing particularly interesting about her even on the best of days, and on the worst days she's an absolute garbage person to everyone. But she gets seemingly half the school wanting to be her friend as soon as she shows up and the Cullens (except Rosalie) all immediately love her and treat her as a family member when Edward brings her home. I think this serves to send a bad message to its readers: you don't actually need to improve. You can scare or hurt your friends and they'll still keep loving you, and you may not even need to apologize (even Jessica, who was most directly hurt by Bella's brief bout of severe mental illness, just comes around to loving her again for no clear reason at the end). You'll get everything you want as long as you wait for it.
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# ? Jan 21, 2020 19:21 |
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I feel like we're talking just slightly at cross purposes. I agree with everything you said, in every particular. I'm only trying to expand on it a little, to add to it that because Bella is lovely, it makes her more emotionally resonant to teenage girls who also very often think they're lovely people and don't understand why people like them. The crappy characterization accidentally recreated how it feels to be a girl that age. I absolutely do not think that was done purposefully. Meyer couldn't write her way out of a paper bag. The character may only inspire disgust or dislike in people with healthier mindsets, and rightly should, but to someone who already thinks they're a horrible trashfire it becomes a point of identification. That isn't a good thing! Its just a thing that happens. By the way, thanks so much for all your efforts, chitoryu. Your output with these threads is insane, I dont know how you do it.
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# ? Jan 21, 2020 20:15 |
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I agree that’s why a ton of teenagers (especially girls) liked Twilight, and also why a lot of them either grew out of it, or turned sour on it given how Bella’s married “adult” life turned out.
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# ? Jan 21, 2020 20:21 |
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I agree with the low self-esteem issues. poo poo, I was in my late 20s before I could even accept a compliment by just saying thank you. It resonates with girls in particular because they are bombarded with images of what the perfect woman looks like, and it’s just not attainable by the majority of women. Also, your comment about how the Cullens get by with nobody noticing their cold, hard skin cracks me up. How the hell could Carlisle get away with it being a doctor? He’s constantly touching people.
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# ? Jan 21, 2020 20:39 |
Calypso posted:Also, your comment about how the Cullens get by with nobody noticing their cold, hard skin cracks me up. How the hell could Carlisle get away with it being a doctor? He’s constantly touching people.
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# ? Jan 21, 2020 20:42 |
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That’s the worst aesthetic board I’ve seen in a while. Downright cursed.
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# ? Jan 22, 2020 13:07 |
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Are there more screenshots of the tumblr Twilight fandom? I think I love them.
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# ? Jan 22, 2020 14:52 |
Pyrotoad posted:Are there more screenshots of the tumblr Twilight fandom? I think I love them.
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# ? Jan 22, 2020 15:27 |
Chapter 17: Alliancequote:"Bella?" Literally crushed, considering the hardness of his skin. One of these days he's going to break her teeth. Wait, is his tongue the same hardness? That'll go badly. quote:I couldn’t let myself think about that. Not if I was going to have to act human for the next several hours. I pulled away from him. Are we not even getting a description of this "nightclub"? Is that how boring Meyer is, that even just describing a house party is beyond her? quote:“Keep it comforting,” Edward recommended. “You can only lead the horse to water.” I want to imagine Alice was about to just start playing Combichrist or Aphex Twin. quote:“I think I’m underdressed.” Bella Swan: The Most Useless Vampire. quote:Edward refused to let me go for a second, dragging me along with him as he hunted up Jasper and then Carlisle to tell them of my epiphany. I listened with quiet horror as they discussed their attack on the army in Seattle. I could tell that Jasper was not pleased with the way the numbers stood, but they’d been unable to contact anyone besides Tanya’s unwilling family. Jasper didn’t try to hide his desperation the way Edward would have. It was easy to see that he didn’t like gambling with stakes this high. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KSBEChzpMM quote:It was a Suburban-load of my friends, either too nervous or too intimidated to arrive on their own. Jessica was the first one in the door, with Mike right behind her. Tyler, Conner, Austin, Lee, Samantha… even Lauren trailing in last, her critical eyes alight with curiosity. They all were curious, and then overwhelmed as they took in the huge room decked out like a chic rave. The room wasn’t empty; all the Cullens had taken their places, ready to put on their usual perfect human charade. Tonight I felt like I was acting every bit as much as they were. See? No reason to believe the younger Cullens wouldn't take the opportunity to gently caress with everyone at these parties. quote:Probably Alice had done this on purpose, to force me into the center of attention—a place she thought I should enjoy more. She was forever trying to make me be human the way she thought humans should be. That...really makes Alice creepy? quote:The party was a clear success, despite the instinctive edginess caused by the Cullens’ presence—or maybe that simply added a thrill to the atmosphere. The music was infectious, the lights almost hypnotic. From the way the food disappeared, that must have been good, too. The room was soon crowded, though never claustrophobic. The entire senior class seemed to be there, along with most of the juniors. Bodies swayed to the beat that rumbled under the soles of their feet, the party constantly on the edge of breaking into a dance. I took a look at what the most popular songs in May of 2006 were, since Alice chose the "familiar and comforting" music for them. Take your pick of background music for your reading, whatever makes this scene the most awkward: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUT5rEU6pqM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW2MmuA1nI4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N4jf6rtyuw quote:I’d circled the room once, and was back to Jessica. She babbled excitedly, and it was not necessary to pay strict attention, because the odds were she wouldn’t need a response from me anytime soon. Edward was at my side—still refusing to let go of me. He kept one hand securely at my waist, pulling me closer now and then in response to thoughts I probably didn’t want to hear. Uh oh, did someone forget who she invited without telling the Cullens? quote:I stretched up on my toes, craning my neck. Right then, a red light flashed across his back and glinted off the red sequins of Alice’s shirt. The light only touched her face for half a second, but it was enough. So it's a Tuesday for you, then? quote:I ducked my way through the bodies, getting shoved around a bit. A few people were dancing now. I hurried to the kitchen door. The guy who impulsively assaulted you and then blamed you for it would still be brazen enough to show up to his worst enemy's party? What a shock. quote:“Well, you go take care of it, then. I have to talk to Carlisle.” Thank you, Alice. quote:I knew this was it. Alice had seen what she’d been waiting for, and I honestly didn’t feel I could stand the suspense long enough to answer the door. The doorbell pealed again, too long, someone holding down the button. I turned my back toward the door resolutely, and scanned the darkened room for Alice. Jacob what the hell quote:Jacob was waving at me, calmer than the others, though his nose was wrinkled in disgust. I waved back—waved goodbye—and turned to look for Alice. I squeezed through a space between Conner’s and Lauren’s backs. So that's a second assault. Bella could call for help and have all three of these guys thrown out or arrested by her dad right now if she wanted to. It would be a pretty good idea if they didn't have rage-triggered transformations into giant wolves that would slaughter everyone inside! Wow, that whole thing about power imbalances in relationships just keeps coming back, huh? quote:“Friendly reception,” he noted. Is it GHB in her drink? quote:I folded my arms across my chest. I didn’t want to fight with Jacob right now. I wanted to know what Alice had seen and what Edward and Carlisle were saying about it. I craned my head around Jacob, searching for them. We've gone from Edward acting like an abusive spouse about to beat Bella to Jacob acting like he's about to either rape her or start a mass shooting at the party. This book sucks. quote:“Oh, c’mon, Bell. Don’t pretend like I’m not here!” Jesus Christ, three times! quote:“Sorry!” he said at once, holding his hands up in surrender. “I really am sorry. About the other day, I mean, too. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. It was wrong. I guess… well, I guess I deluded myself into thinking you wanted me to.” "Just because they haven't tried to molest you..." quote:I groaned. “Aw, Jake, you know that’s not fair.” The only reason Bella is forgiving him so quickly is because otherwise he wouldn't get to be in the book anymore. If a girl I knew kept hanging around a guy who did all this poo poo, I'd be questioning her sanity. quote:I kept up the lame pretense, holding my hand open in front of me. “I’m waiting.” And yes, people have made charms like this to sell to the fandom. quote:“It’s beautiful,” I whispered. “You made this? How?” "Presents forgive rape!" quote:I held out my left wrist, since the right was stuck in the brace. He fastened the catch easily, though it looked too delicate for his big fingers to manage. Shakira, Shakira I guess. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Jan 22, 2020 |
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# ? Jan 22, 2020 20:41 |
quote:Her bare skin reacted oddly to the pulsing red and purple lights. This is my favorite kind of YA or new-YA writing. It's like the author was rushing the chapter out and wasn't sure how to describe something and so just threw their hands up and went, gently caress it, imagine something odd, it's not up to me to tell you how her bare skin is reacting oddly.
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# ? Jan 23, 2020 02:48 |
quote:I returned it for a moment, but then my eyes shot reflexively around the room again, anxiously scanning the crowd for some sign of Edward or Alice. Does she suck at lying, though? She's been established as doing it constantly from the very beginning of the series, especially to her loved ones. quote:He was probably right; the wolves would certainly be interested in what was happening. Only I wasn’t sure what that was yet. I wouldn’t know for sure until I found Alice. I half expect him to say "It's your undying love for me, isn't it?" and then try to kiss her again. quote:What was the point in lying again? He knew me too well. “Yes.” All right, now we're at overt intimidation by three huge guys at a party, immediately after one of them assaulted the girl twice a few minutes ago, any one of whom could respond to stress by transforming into a monster in a crowded party. The Wolf Pack is fantastic! quote:And then I caught sight of Alice descending the stairs, her white skin glowing in the purple light. Imagine being at a party and seeing three huge dudes (who you already hate) cornering your friend/future sister-in-law menacingly. There's a lot of situations where that ends in a really justifiable rear end kicking. I can't even get invested in this because all the subtext makes the werewolves seem so goddamn lovely. quote:“I need to talk to you,” she murmured into my ear. I never thought I'd be happy to see a Confederate show up! quote:“We have a right to know,” Jacob muttered, still glaring at Alice. I can't find any video of it online, but the movie has a scene of all the newborns lining up to take a massive sniff of her blouse like it's the ending to The Room. quote:I tried to swallow. At least one piece of characterization is consistent: Bella's constant willingness to die at the drop of a hat. quote:“Bella!” Alice protested. At least they can bond over their share bloodlust! Venomlust? quote:“We’ll have to coordinate,” Jacob said. “It won’t be easy for us. Still, this is our job more than yours.” Bella is so useless as anything but a MacGuffin in this conflict that now she's being actively ignored by the people who actually do work in the plot. quote:“Why?” Jacob asked, curious. Bwahahahahahahahahaha quote:“No!” I shouted again. The sound of an electric guitar drowned my cry.
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# ? Jan 23, 2020 15:35 |
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I never realized how often Jacob and company veer into 'alert the authorities' territory.
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# ? Jan 23, 2020 15:51 |
Chapter 18: Instructionsquote:“That had to be the longest part in the history of the world,” I complained on the way home. Not as long as some of the past chapters, drat. quote:Edward didn’t seem to disagree. “It’s over now,” he said, rubbing my arm soothingly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ_LHyx2odc quote:I whispered now, to keep my voice under control. “You’re taking me with you tonight.” Isn't Paul the only problem child here? Jacob, Quil, and Embry were downright ecstatic to be teaming up to kill a newborn army with the Cullens. There's literally one person you need to leave at home so he doesn't start killing his own allies! quote:As if that didn’t make me all the more anxious to go. “If you won’t take me, then I’ll call Jacob.” You ever notice how she criticizes herself for using "low blows" but always uses them as her first resort? quote:He didn’t answer; we were at Charlie’s house now. The front light was on. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUXvrWeQU0g quote:“This is going to work, Bella. I can feel it.” Carlisle and Esme wait on the sidelines and cheer on their kids as they dismember teenagers. quote:“Shhh,” he stroked my cheek. “You’ll see. Don’t worry now.” I'm going to spoil something else again because of how dumb this writing is: when the actual fight comes, the good guys take no deaths at all. They barely even have wounded. For all intents and purposes, the battle is a total curbstomp of the bad guys. All of Bella's worrying and plans to sacrifice herself turn out completely pointless because they're actually completely right when they tell her they've got it handled! Meyer is extending the book and adding conflict by having Bella engage in ultimately unnecessary drama. quote:I did not fall asleep. The minutes passed quickly, to my surprise, and I was still alert and tense when Edward pulled us both up into a sitting position. Because Eclipse was filmed in a completely different part of the Pacific Northwest than the first film, they couldn't reuse The Shire near Portland (a 75-acre preserved landscape study park) that was used for the baseball scene. The training is instead done in Balcara Park in Vancouver, BC in an unknown location; the park has several areas cordoned off specifically for film shoots due to the popularity of Vancouver as a filming location. quote:Yes, someone had broken out of their pattern. Was it possible that the Volturi were the flexible ones in this equation? Maybe it won't matter at all in the end! quote:“You know what I think?” I asked Edward. It has taken us until 58% of the way in the book for the most obvious plot points to get connected by these people. quote:His eyes narrowed as he thought about it. “Why do you think so?” Wait, was Edward's entire argument just based on "Victoria didn't personally come into your room to steal your scent, therefore it can't be related to her and it's actually the group that was established as never doing anything like that!" quote:He considered it, his forehead creased in concentration. Yeah, it just took most of the book for her to do it! quote:I sighed. “Maybe I’m just reacting to this place. It makes me feel like she’s close by… like she sees me now.” At this level of rage, he'd probably swing you like a club. quote:We were almost to his family, and I noticed for the first time that Alice did not look as optimistic as the others. She stood a little aside, watching Jasper stretching his arms as if he were warming up to exercise, her lips pushed out in a pout. I would love to see them try to train her. She'd put herself in traction. quote:“When will our guests arrive?” Carlisle asked Edward. "The form that specifically robs them of much of their human concentration and makes them prone to violence?" quote:He nodded, cautious of my reaction. I swallowed once, remembering the two times I’d seen Jacob in his wolf form—the first time in the meadow with Laurent, the second time on the forest lane where Paul had gotten angry at me.… They were both memories of terror. I took a look to see who these new members were ahead of time other than Quil, and I think one of them doesn't even get a name. In the next book they get even more unnamed members. quote:“Fascinating,” Edward murmured almost silently. The movie, for obvious reasons, doesn't include Edward literally acting as their mouthpiece. It's a good thing the mind reader among them is so boring, because if it were me I couldn't help but put on a voice for every one of them to distinguish them. And then I'd probably get eaten. quote:“That is more than enough,” Carlisle answered. “My son Jasper”—he gestured to where Jasper stood, tensed and ready—“has experience in this area. He will teach us how they fight, how they are to be defeated. I’m sure you can apply this to your own hunting style.” drat near the entire cast is more hyped for this than Bella is. quote:Carlisle smiled. “We’ll see how it plays out.” He only uses the bear necessities! Sorry. quote:Jasper grinned. “What I meant is that Emmett relies on his strength. He’s very straightforward about the attack. The newborns won’t be trying anything subtle, either. Just go for the easy kill, Emmett.” Emmett, language! This is a Mormon book! quote:There was a muttered rumble of appreciation from the watching wolves. This whole sequence is just them telling Bella to stop being a little bitch. quote:I watched with anxious eyes as he waved Alice forward. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1UQ66P1XO0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IR3XG2dhGp0 For once, the movie actually tried to depict the speed accurately in vampire fighting. Behind the scenes footage shows that at least most of the fighting and wire work was done by the actors rather than stunt doubles, with the footage just sped up. You can see Robert Pattinson's sheer disdain for Edward coming out in his short clip of interview footage. quote:Jasper chuckled, shaking his head. “You truly are one frightening little monster.” Alice is kinda creepy but I actually appreciate her coming in and telling Bella to stop loving with their plans. I just wish Meyer had given her anything else to do instead of being a millstone around their necks. quote:Edward had closed on Jasper now, and this fight was more even than either of the others. Jasper had the century of experience to guide him, and he tried to go on instinct alone as much as he could, but his thoughts always gave him away a fraction of a second before he acted. Edward was slightly faster, but the moves Jasper used were unfamiliar to him. They came at each other again and again, neither one able to gain the advantage, instinctive snarls erupting constantly. It was hard to watch, but harder to look away. They moved too fast for me to really understand what they were doing. Now and then the sharp eyes of the wolves would catch my attention. I had a feeling the wolves were getting more out of this than I was—maybe more than they should. "Hand check!" quote:Jasper laughed, and took a step back. Edward straightened up and grinned at him. This goes back to the problem Meyer is having with sticking to a first-person perspective. This is a scene that's important for the story and actually has some action that isn't just people angsting at each other, but Bella is completely useless during it and gets little out of attending. She's like a camera for the audience, having to be hauled around and passively put in place where she can observe the things we need to see. quote:Jasper confirmed that, turning toward the wolves for the first time, his expression uncomfortable again. “We’ll be doing this tomorrow. Please feel welcome to observe again.” Who's gonna be the one to make this weird? quote:The deep black of the night was just beginning to fade—the sun brightening the clouds, though it hadn’t cleared the horizon yet, far away on the other side of the mountains. As they approached, it was suddenly possible to make out shapes… colors. Emmett is going to make it weird. quote:Sam sniffed at Carlisle, seeming to wince slightly as he did. Then he moved on to Jasper. quote:Jacob’s grin widened over his sharp teeth. He left his place in line, ignoring the eyes of his pack as they followed him. He trotted past Edward and Alice to stand not two feet away from me. He stopped there, his gaze flickering briefly toward Edward. With how quickly she's forgiven Jacob after he repeatedly assaulted her and cornered her a few hours ago, I can only attribute this to a dog fetish. quote:The fur was both soft and rough, and warm against my skin. I ran my fingers through it curiously, learning the texture, stroking his neck where the color deepened. I hadn’t realized how close I’d gotten; without warning, Jacob suddenly licked my face from chin to hairline. Remember when he did the exact same thing as a human a few days ago and you punched him so hard you broke your own hand? Good times. quote:It was at that point that I realized that everyone was watching us, the Cullens and the werewolves—the Cullens with perplexed and somewhat disgusted expressions. It was hard to read the wolves’ faces. I thought Sam looked unhappy. Or maybe he just can't believe you're fine with this poo poo after everything that happened. quote:Jacob made the laughing sound again.
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# ? Jan 24, 2020 19:04 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUhKmVM-SY8
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# ? Jan 24, 2020 19:59 |
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Maybe this is just my attempt to bring characterization to people who aren't supposed to have any, but I'm getting the feeling that the reason the Cullens, Carlisle included, are so psyched about this entire thing is that they've spent their entire unlives suppressing their violence and their desire to kill, and now they're going to be able to get to kill in a socially acceptable way, and they're just over the moon.
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# ? Jan 27, 2020 12:40 |
quote:The other wolves were backing away now, not taking their eyes off the Cullens as they departed. Jacob stood by my side, watching them go. Soon, they disappeared into the murky forest. Only two hesitated by the trees, watching Jacob, their postures radiating anxiety. How big are these horse-sized wolf legs? Has he ever tied his shoes or pants or whatever to his leg and then had them burst off when he transformed? quote:“Wait,” I called, one hand stretching out automatically to reach after him. But he disappeared into the trees in seconds, the other two wolves following. Not only is Bella useless in helping out with the plot, this isn't even the first time her attempts at doing so have had her falling asleep during it! You could replace her with a literal baby and the only change to the plot would be that Jacob would be the romantic interest instead of Edward. quote:Jacob loped back into view, on two legs this time. His broad chest was bare, his hair tangled and shaggy. He wore only a pair of black sweat pants, his feet bare to the cold ground. He was alone now, but I suspected that his friends lingered in the trees, invisible. At first I read this as "It won't take that much to commit a murder." quote:“This Saturday?” I asked, my head spinning. I was too lightheaded to control my wildly random thoughts. I frowned at Edward. “Well, crap! There goes your graduation present.” Epicurius might be right. There is some serious bloodlust going on here that Bella is surprisingly okay with! quote:“But what about keeping her in La Push?” Jacob interjected, impatient. Stephenie Meyer can think of all these paragraphs of explanations for people's tactical decisions in this conflict, but she can't think one book ahead to make sure everything is consistent? quote:Jacob gestured to the deep forest east of us, to the vast expanse of the Olympic Mountains. “So hide her here,” he suggested. “There’s a million possibilities—places either one of us could be in just a few minutes if there’s a need.” quote:“I need to get you home—you’re exhausted. And Charlie will be waking up soon.…” "If I cop a feel, it's your fault." quote:But his eyes flickered to Edward, just like mine did. Edward’s face was composed and smooth. He spoke to Jasper. Because that's all breaking your hand in self-defense from sexual assault is: an annoying, awkward memory. quote:We didn’t go far; he made a wide arc and came back into the clearing from a different direction, maybe half a football field away from our original departure point. Edward was there alone and Jacob headed toward him. "Stink bombs." quote:“Clever,” Edward agreed. You will, because that's the only way the plot can continue. quote:“Not a chance,” Edward said suddenly, his voice disgusted. It made me jump, worrying that he’d somehow heard my resolve, but his eyes were on Jasper. Jasper seems to be the most bloodthirsty of them all, actually! First he was proposing going back to his previous newborn army to recruit them, and now he's eagerly trying to offer up Bella as bait. quote:“No,” Edward said. His voice rang with finality. "We'll leave out the part where he said he would focus on all the black vampires." quote:He’d edged closer unconsciously, drawn by his absorption in the planning. He stood only three feet from Edward now, and, standing there between them, I could feel the physical tension in the air. It was like static, an uncomfortable charge. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cD39sMJBbc4 quote:I nodded absently; I was reeling from the idea that little Seth Clearwater was already a werewolf, too, and that made it difficult to concentrate. I could see his bright smile, so much like a younger Jacob, in my head; he couldn’t be more than fifteen, if he was that. His enthusiasm at the council meeting bonfire suddenly took on new meaning.…
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# ? Jan 27, 2020 17:23 |
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I was halfway expecting the scent masking to involve the werewolves pissing all over town.
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# ? Jan 27, 2020 19:33 |
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# ? Jan 28, 2020 03:36 |
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Icicle or Stalagmite? Stalactite if he's on top?
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# ? Jan 28, 2020 05:46 |
Chapter 19: Selfishquote:Edward carried me home in his arms, expecting that I wouldn’t be able to hang on. I must have fallen asleep on the way. Wish that was me. quote:“Hungry?” he guessed. “Do you want breakfast in bed?” That's normal. quote:“It was a long night,” he said again. “You should have stayed here and slept.” "But of course he wouldn't do that!" Then why did you think of it in the first place? You don't just make that your first thought casually. You have a reason to think he would start destroying stuff from Jacob. quote:I tried to read the expression in his eyes. All I could see was thoughtfulness; he kept everything else hidden, if there was anything else. "Here, you can have Jasper's old uniform." quote:“What do you mean?” This is the most socially awkward love triangle I've ever seen outside an anime club. quote:If this was the only reaction to Jacob’s gift, I would take it gladly. “Whatever makes you happy.” "That all the men in my life have superhuman powers and could hold me prisoner whenever they wanted?" quote:His eyes narrowed. “Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn’t. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That’s utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?” Yep! quote:I chewed my breakfast calmly. I knew he wouldn’t listen if I told him that he had that backward. What the hell was she saying in her sleep that clued him into this? quote:He groaned. Alice is now having visions of Bella being pathetically useless in the plot. quote:I tried to keep as cool as he was. “That’s because Alice didn’t factor in Seth Clearwater,” I said politely. “If she had, of course, she wouldn’t have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like Seth wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn’t be too hard to persuade him to show me the way.” quote:Edward took advantage of the fact that I was momentarily stumped, continuing in a suspiciously smooth and soothing voice. No, keep going! That's way more interesting than what's happening right now! quote:“Jacob’s been keeping a lot of secrets,” he said with a grin. Good time for Charlie not to be in the house. quote:“There are things he wasn’t allowed to share—their numbers, for instance. Like I said before, when Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn’t able to ignore it. Jacob was very careful to think of other things when he was near me. Of course, after last night that’s all out the window.” Bella just described a story that is infinitely more interesting than the one we're getting as if it's just a footnote. quote:“Poor Leah,” I whispered. "If I keep referencing Shakespeare, I'll seem smart and cultured!" quote:“Poor Leah,” I said again. “But what do you mean, malicious?” Please just write this book instead of having characters summarize it in exposition! quote:“No!” I gasped. Edward was right—this was exactly like a soap opera. Don't worry guys, this was pre-wheelchair. quote:“Wow. How did you get so much in one night?” Sorry guys, we have to get back to the back-and-forth drama and high school stuff. quote:“The pack is fascinating,” I agreed. “Almost as fascinating as you are when you’re trying to distract me.” She's gonna do it. quote:I ignored my better instincts. I couldn’t look at him while I spoke, though. The guilt had my eyes glued to the table. Bella is getting negative character development! She's not only not learning, she's actually getting worse! She's taking advantage of his inability to read her mind to play crazy on purpose! quote:He sighed. “It’s going to be easy, Bella. There’s no reason for your fears.” This girl is despicable. quote:He didn’t speak. Is Stephenie Meyer in a competition with herself to see who can hit rock bottom the fastest? Murder, violence, stalking, sexual assault, controlling behavior, emotional abuse.... quote:“You ask me to let them fight without my help?” he said in a quiet voice. Get hosed. quote:“Don’t apologize,” he said, smiling just a little. “Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need…” He shrugged. “You are my first priority.” This is infuriating to read. quote:I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his chest. “Thank you,” I whispered. I was about to make a "Two wolves inside you" joke before remembering what book this was.
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# ? Jan 28, 2020 18:44 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Chapter 19: Selfish Leah is so much more interesting than Bella, and the love triangle she is in is so much more tragic and angsty than what Myers tries to do with Bella.
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# ? Jan 28, 2020 19:49 |
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I would read the werewolf soap opera only if it had an author better suited to handle the unpleasant issues like imprinting. Meyer can't even write her main character handling how unpleasant the emotional blackmail in this scene should be if Bella was as good a person Meyer claimed. It was uncomfortable only because I've been on the receiving end in the past.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 02:24 |
Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:I would read the werewolf soap opera only if it had an author better suited to handle the unpleasant issues like imprinting. Meyer can't even write her main character handling how unpleasant the emotional blackmail in this scene should be if Bella was as good a person Meyer claimed. It was uncomfortable only because I've been on the receiving end in the past. I think what really frustrates me here (along with seeing so many hints of a much better and more interesting story in the background) is that I feel really disconnected from what's occurring. The way it's all written, I feel like I'm dissociating and viewing everything from afar in spite of a first-person narrative. The lack of detail where it matters and constant awe-inspiring bad behavior from the leads makes it seem like nobody is really in the story the way they should be, which makes Bella and Edward especially seem almost sociopathic. Nobody feels like a real person, just a puppet for the author who can change whenever she feels like it.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 05:23 |
quote:“Who’s the third wife?” he asked me suddenly. The only reason Edward is falling for her lies is because she's legitimately so unstable that her manipulation comes off as earnest. quote:Before he could ask, Alice appeared in the kitchen doorway with a sour expression. Everyone but Bella is treating this like it's a night out on the town! quote:He walked out the door, leaving me to face Alice. It is! They're both extremely competent and are a lot more well-adjusted! quote:“Go clean yourself up,” she ordered me. “Charlie will be home in fifteen minutes, and if you look this ragged he’s not going to want to let you out again.” "What was that Mike said about Emmett putting on a bear suit and doing a pro wrestling dive from the roof onto Jasper?" quote:Alice shrugged. Knowing her, it was already done. I do not ship Charlie and Alice. quote:“Alice, honey, why don’t you come stay with us,” Charlie offered. “I hate to think of you all alone in that big house.” Alice stomps on her foot hard enough to shatter all the bones. quote:“Oh.” He looked back at Alice. “So, how ’bout it?” "There's too much plot happening there." quote:“Of course not,” Alice agreed at once, though we both knew Seattle would be plenty safe on Saturday. “I was thinking Olympia, maybe.…” In a conversation that could have been summarized in two sentences to let the book focus on something more interesting. It's amazing how reversed the balance of this book is from normal writing advice: summarizing everything interesting that happens while including every inane conversation or repetitive, roundabout argument that ultimately changes nothing. quote:Edward returned not much later. He accepted Charlie’s wishes for a nice trip without surprise. He claimed they were leaving early in the morning, and said goodnight before the usual time. Alice left with him. All of Bella's covering of her supernatural-related activities must have Charlie thinking he has the lamest daughter. quote:Upstairs, Edward was lying across my bed. Odd choice of words considering she was literally kidnapped against her will to keep her from seeing her friends before. quote:I thought about that briefly. No Charlie listening downstairs, checking on me every so often. And no houseful of wide-awake vampires with their intrusively sensitive hearing.… Just him and me—really alone. "Just thinking about a gynecologist who can handle reconstructive surgery." quote:“Well… sure, except for one thing.” Spoilers: Alice is right. quote:We got to the clearing last. I had a horrifying thought of the trio trying to pick up girls at a bar in Forks. quote:“Jacob trusts you.” Have you tried...not making that worse? quote:It was the wrong place to look, struggling as I was to lie to myself, to convince myself that everything would work out as I needed it to. Because when I forced my eyes away from the Cullens—away from the image of their play fighting that would be real and deadly in just a few days—Jacob caught my eyes and smiled. quote:I knew, without asking, which of the others was Embry and which was Quil. Because Embry was clearly the thinner gray wolf with the dark spots on his back, who sat so patiently watching, while Quil—deep chocolate brown, lighter over his face—twitched constantly, looking like he was dying to join in the mock fight. They weren’t monsters, even like this. They were friends. You really shouldn't be in a relationship where you're worrying if your boyfriend has basic empathy. quote:I tried to smile back at Jacob, swallowing against the lump in my throat. I didn’t seem to get it right. quote:“He wants to know why,” Edward murmured. Even as a wolf, he's a dick. quote:I halfway smiled, too anxious to really feel amused. “There’s plenty to be worried about,” I told Jacob. “Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt.” I still don't think we have a good enough explanation for why they have to show up in their wolf forms. quote:I stared up at the bright silver clouds, not wanting to see the fight. My imagination had more than enough fuel. A breeze blew through the clearing, and I shivered. Am I the only one finding this kinda weird? This feels weird. quote:“You know, I never had a dog,” I mused. “I always wanted one, but Renée’s allergic.” Yeah, this feels pretty weird. Especially because he gave a one-sentence apology for assaulting her and then continued to be rough with her at the party. quote:It was strange. Even though he was in this bizarre form, this felt more like the way Jake and I used to be—the easy, effortless friendship that was as natural as breathing in and out—than the last few times I’d been with Jacob while he was human. Odd that I should find that again here, when I’d thought this wolf thing was the cause of its loss.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 17:22 |
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Alice is like the only half-interesting character at this point and I almost want to say she deserves a better writer.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 17:24 |
Dawgstar posted:Alice is like the only half-interesting character at this point and I almost want to say she deserves a better writer. This whole series does! Like I said, it's like if you took an action-packed show and just focused all of your energy on a random background character for every episode who only catches glimpses of the plot and has most of it recited to them as exposition. An episode of Supernatural that focuses on a motel clerk renting a room to the Winchesters and seeing them come and go is a neat concept for one episode, but not an entire series.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 17:35 |
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For anyone noticing how the story really likes to treat Leah Clearwater like poo poo, keep in mind “Leah” is the name of Meyers’s sister-in-law.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 20:06 |
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Dienes posted:Leah is so much more interesting than Bella, and the love triangle she is in is so much more tragic and angsty than what Myers tries to do with Bella. They're all more interesting than Bella. I don't want to read this story, I want to read about, I dunno, how Jasper became the youngest Major in the Texas cavalry, or Emmett hunting a bear, or some time Alice was mislead by one of her visions, or Jacob's brother in law, the surfer, or Carlisle Cullen, colonial doctor, or how Charlie got elected sheriff, or how he and Billy met, or how the Volturi dealt with the coming of Mussolini, or, a lot of things, really.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 22:58 |
Epicurius posted:They're all more interesting than Bella. I don't want to read this story, I want to read about, I dunno, how Jasper became the youngest Major in the Texas cavalry, or Emmett hunting a bear, or some time Alice was mislead by one of her visions, or Jacob's brother in law, the surfer, or Carlisle Cullen, colonial doctor, or how Charlie got elected sheriff, or how he and Billy met, or how the Volturi dealt with the coming of Mussolini, or, a lot of things, really. Has any work ever been more perfect for fanfiction writers? She somehow managed to craft the world's most frustratingly wasted story. She made not only a bad series, but one that focuses on the exact opposite of what it should every single time. It's an impressive level of commitment to making the wrong decision at every choice she can, to the point where it could be mistaken for intentional.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 23:05 |
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I think most people who have ended up reading this thing get itchy fanfic fingers if they're even *somewhat* inclined towards writing. She's come up with such interesting characters and then she's *ignoring* them all, it's astonishing.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 23:35 |
You could very easily do an entire book from the point of view of the Volturi. The original three were canonically born around 1350 BC in Greece before being turned, which means they would have experienced all civilization from the Mycenaeans onward. They already don't view time on a human scale, so you could have each chapter jump forward to a new era showing what they were getting up to. Roman Republic, Roman Empire and then the fall of Rome, medieval England (Jane and Alec were turned shortly after 800 AD), the American and French Revolutions, the unification of Italy and Germany in the late 19th century, the World Wars.... I would really like to see more monster works set extremely far in the past. They rarely go earlier than medieval times, but think about how cool it would be to set a vampire story in the time of Tutankhamen.
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# ? Jan 29, 2020 23:47 |
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I love how every side character and society is so much more interesting than Bella, and yet when Meyer did a novella in the Twilight universe, out of all the possible options for a protagonist? loving Bree Tanner, the mousy brunette teenage girl with boy problems.
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# ? Jan 30, 2020 01:23 |
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MorgaineDax posted:I love how every side character and society is so much more interesting than Bella, and yet when Meyer did a novella in the Twilight universe, out of all the possible options for a protagonist? loving Bree Tanner, the mousy brunette teenage girl with boy problems. What really got me about the novella, and I don't know how common this is for novellas, is the utter lack of chapters. There may not have even been scene breaks, but it's been so long since I've read that trash, and I'm not reading it again. God, that lack of chapters really bugged me. It made me wary of checking out Discworld until I finally put some faith in Pratchett.
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# ? Jan 30, 2020 04:20 |
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chitoryu12 posted:I would really like to see more monster works set extremely far in the past. They rarely go earlier than medieval times, but think about how cool it would be to set a vampire story in the time of Tutankhamen. Anne Rice kind of did this with Queen of the Damned. It’s been almost 20 years since I read that and the only real take away from it I have is that Anne Rice really, really likes the word preternatural.
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# ? Jan 30, 2020 06:32 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Has any work ever been more perfect for fanfiction writers? She somehow managed to craft the world's most frustratingly wasted story. She made not only a bad series, but one that focuses on the exact opposite of what it should every single time. It's an impressive level of commitment to making the wrong decision at every choice she can, to the point where it could be mistaken for intentional. Go look for a Twilight fanfic called “The Wedding Crashers.” It’s and a bit silly on the part of the writers, but it’s also cathartic in terms of some of the stupidest aspects of this books getting comeuppance.
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# ? Jan 30, 2020 10:48 |
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Proteus Jones posted:Anne Rice kind of did this with Queen of the Damned. It’s been almost 20 years since I read that and the only real take away from it I have is that Anne Rice really, really likes the word preternatural. One of the early Anita Blake books had a vampire that was literally a neanderthal. It was such a goddamn cool idea and Hamilton's execution of it was, "Normal dude, but with a big nose and a slightly flatter head."
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# ? Jan 30, 2020 16:03 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 14:43 |
Chapter 20: Compromisequote:Everything was ready. The full force of his eye beams! quote:That was not a hard request to agree to, though I knew that forgetting my fears would be much easier said than done. Other matters were on my mind now, knowing that we had this night to be alone, and that would help. I wasn't kidding before! All the reams of text of people warning Bella against her dark desires, telling her of all the problems she'll face and how she's only making this decision due to ignorance and immaturity, never actually matters that much in the end. quote:There was only one missing piece. Yes, it's that experience. quote:As decided as I was, I wasn’t surprised that I still felt nervous as I drove down the long path to his house—I didn’t know how to do what I was trying to do, and that guaranteed me some serious jitters. He sat in the passenger seat, fighting a smile at my slow pace. I was surprised that he hadn’t insisted on taking the wheel, but tonight he seemed content to go at my speed. Shattering the window as it bows inward from his vampire strength. quote:Without breaking the kiss, he swung me up so that I was cradled in his arms and carried me into the house. This is barely remaining veiled enough to be a metaphor for Mormon marriage at this point. It's like a plain word swap. quote:With a low chuckle, he pulled me away, holding me at arm’s length. Your regular reminder that Edward's bedroom has an incredibly gaudy bed with a gold blanket and wrought iron rose canopy plopped right in the center of the room, complete with a full-wall mirror. It's like the worst 70s pimp pad you could make. quote:“Okay,” I grumbled. Now that I was where I wanted to be, I could afford a little reluctance. “Let me have it.” quote:“It was my mother’s.” He shrugged deprecatingly. “I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I’ve given some to Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way.” I can see her fist pumping at her computer as she writes that line. quote:I twisted my wrist so the heart would glimmer. “Thank you. For both.” I swear I'm about to find a marble statue to hug just so I can confirm how awful it must be in real life. quote:It seemed like a good place to start. Nobody talks like this quote:“I’m great.” Renovations? What kind of loving euphemism is that? quote:He looked at me suspiciously. “Which details do you mean exactly?” Oh my God she can't even say it. quote:“Yes.” He smiled a wide smile. “To start with.” These are absolutely two people who have never masturbated once in their life. quote:His cool fingers brushed my cheek. “You’re blushing?” he asked in surprise. I kept my eyes down. “Please, Bella, the suspense is painful.” "A true marriage has no secrets, ever. I'm entitled to everything." quote:“Well, I’m a little worried… about after,” I admitted, finally looking at him. "We all have to kill a few people some day! I'm in the triple digits, it's fine!" quote:“Edward,” I said, nervous, staring at a freckle on my wrist. “There’s something that I want to do before I’m not human anymore.” This is what the Germans call fremdschämen. quote:“You,” I mumbled almost incoherently. This is so shameful it's becoming a comedy. quote:We glowered at each other. Marriage: famously comparable to being rammed in half by a shaft of marble. quote:I took a deep breath to steady myself. And, as the anger began to fade, I felt something else. Oh hey BPD symptoms, nice to see you return. quote:Edward sighed. The hand over my mouth moved under my chin, and he pulled my face up until I had to look at him. “What now?” Now he's using his super speed to put her into romantic poses? This is some loving Looney Toons poo poo. How the hell did this chapter pass without the editors laughing? quote:“You know why I have to say no,” he murmured. “You know that I want you, too.” Oh my God, not Mrs. Newton! quote:I shook my head against his chest, grimacing. “You’re just trying to distract me. Let’s get back to the subject.” The perils of dating a girl with a danger fetish and severely repressed sexuality. quote:I tried to keep my voice firm and reasonable. “But that’s the problem. It won’t be the same when I’m less breakable. I won’t be the same! I don’t know who I’ll be then.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR3k-R2zcF4 quote:“The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true,” he pointed out. We just had an entire chapter happen because Bella Swan, Queen of the Khaki Skirt, suddenly got horny. quote:I twisted my head to kiss the palm of his hand. And now he probably has to explain to Alice why the bed is damaged. quote:His eyes were intent on my face as I struggled to explain. And now he's horny! quote:“Please?” I whispered again, my heartbeat picking up speed. My words tumbled out as I rushed to take advantage of the sudden uncertainty in his eyes. “You don’t have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn’t work out right, well, then that’s that. Just let us try… only try. And I’ll give you what you want,” I promised rashly. “I’ll marry you. I’ll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won’t complain about the bribe to get me in. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just… please.” Someone get this girl a Hitachi wand during the chapter break. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Jan 31, 2020 |
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# ? Jan 30, 2020 18:20 |