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  Captain Jesus posted:John Wick is boring as gently caress. Three movies about a guy who is so good that he not only beats, but specifically kills every person that challenges him. It's a series for insecure white men who fantasize about murdering anybody who slighted them in real life and who are powerless to do anything about it. lotta dog‐killer apologia itt Platystemon has a new favorite as of 12:56 on Jan 26, 2020 |
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Jan 26, 2020 12:49
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The first JW was entertaining enough before the sequels turned it into some Underworld-style universe where everyone is an assassin. I love Keanu Reeves but it was hilarious watching Halle Berry act her way through a heartfelt monologue only to have his lines be a grunted one-word reply.
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Jan 26, 2020 12:55
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Hardon Crime posted:this poo poo sucks IMHO cosplaying as BeatmasterJ's bathroom is p cool!
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Jan 26, 2020 13:02
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John whack would have been a better name. Cuz he's a hitman you see. He kills (whacks) people. Also he punches (whacks) a lot of people. Also he is pretty cool (whack). Also imagine like these serious underworld bosses and illuminati level hitmen go "it's John whack" that would just sound silly (whack).
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Jan 26, 2020 13:02
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More like John Wank lmao gottem
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Jan 26, 2020 13:07
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Milo and POTUS posted:It's basically a superhero series anyway
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Jan 26, 2020 13:35
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Milo and POTUS posted:It's basically a superhero series anyway John Wick is a superhero series in the same way that the Fast and Furious movies are superhero movies; in that, they absolutely 100% are and that's OK.
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Jan 26, 2020 13:59
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Hardon Crime posted:this poo poo sucks Yes, quoting sleeveless or even reading his bullshit at all does suck. Thanks for the reminder.
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Jan 26, 2020 14:18
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Stoatbringer posted:Equilibrium is sort of the opposite of Wick. Super gun guy is slaughtering everybody around him in nicely choreographed fight scenes but then meets a cute puppy and decides killing is bad. it's also the opposite in the sense that it's a very good movie. Equilibrium should be more popular/renowned than the matrix too, because they did everything the Matrix did, but better 
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Jan 26, 2020 14:42
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You should really watch it again some time. It has not aged nearly as well as you seem to think
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Jan 26, 2020 14:43
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mind the walrus posted:You should really watch it again some time. It has not aged nearly as well as you seem to think I watch it roughly once a month.
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Jan 26, 2020 14:46
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yeah I eat rear end posted:I watch it roughly once a month. More like "yeah my taste in movies is rear end"
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Jan 26, 2020 14:51
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Sandwich Anarchist posted:More like "yeah my taste in movies is rear end" you are what you eat
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Jan 26, 2020 14:53
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I am still not buying that "in the future, police will be able to mathematically predict the position of all members of a group of shooters and kill them all with blind one-shots, in every possible law enforcement situation, 100% of which are 'a bunch of criminals lie in wait in a dark room to ambush a cop'" is intended as a serious premise and not some kind of elaborate deadpan gag
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Jan 26, 2020 14:56
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Data Graham posted:I am still not buying that "in the future, police will be able to mathematically predict the position of all members of a group of shooters and kill them all with blind one-shots, in every possible law enforcement situation, 100% of which are 'a bunch of criminals lie in wait in a dark room to ambush a cop'" is intended as a serious premise and not some kind of elaborate deadpan gag did you not see the instructional diagrams mathematically proving it is real?
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Jan 26, 2020 14:59
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Suspension of disbelief is dead.
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Jan 26, 2020 15:19
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Okay, you can criticize the acting and the writing and the production values all you want, but you are not talking poo poo about gunkata
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Jan 26, 2020 15:26
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I WANNA TALK ABOUT TITANIC NOW, THATS A GOOD MOBIE
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Jan 26, 2020 15:29
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N. Senada posted:I WANNA TALK ABOUT TITANIC NOW, THATS A GOOD MOBIE Titanic 2-9 featuring Rose murdering large oceanic vessels, all part of a secret cabal responsible for killing Jack.
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Jan 26, 2020 15:31
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beanieson posted:Titanic 2-9 featuring Rose murdering large oceanic
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Jan 26, 2020 15:45
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And that's only phase one of the "dramatised tragedies" expanded universe
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Jan 26, 2020 15:49
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In Titanic X, Rose realises that she was the one who killed Jack by not letting him onto the raft.
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Jan 26, 2020 16:15
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The series jumped the shark when Titanic 3.0 went back in time and teamed up with the Hindenburg to fight the original iceberg. The first burg/berg joke was funny but they just kept making those one liners for the whole third act and it killed the dramatic tension
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Jan 26, 2020 16:16
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Burg/berg jokes are never not funny
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Jan 26, 2020 16:21
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"sink this" "You took Jack, i'll take your life...boat" "ice-berg to meet you"
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Jan 26, 2020 16:29
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Old Rose nude on a couch getting a portrait made and the camera pulls back to reveal she's in the World Trade Center and it's the morning of September 11th, 2001.
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Jan 26, 2020 16:32
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A HORNY SWEARENGEN posted:Old Rose nude on a couch getting a portrait made and the camera pulls back to reveal she's in the World Trade Center and it's the morning of September 11th, 2001. Except it’s the alt timeline where the high jackers crashed the Hindenburg into the towers. “Here we go again,” Rose says as she racks a shotgun
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Jan 26, 2020 16:35
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when did the meme thread turn into the RLM thread
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Jan 26, 2020 16:40
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I thought the sentient swarm of crabs was a really cool idea and the cgi looked fantastic, I was disappointed when they brought Amelia Earhart back as a human for the sequel
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Jan 26, 2020 16:42
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Basticle posted:when did the meme thread turn into the RLM thread The rlm thread is every thread now because the rlm thread is the star wars thread.
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Jan 26, 2020 16:44
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Basticle posted:when did the meme thread turn into the RLM thread CHILD: I want memes MOTHER: you have humor at home THE HUMOR AT HOME: *this loving derail*
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Jan 26, 2020 16:49
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Jan 26, 2020 17:10
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You know what's a good wholesome movie without a single dog dying? Suspiria
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Jan 26, 2020 18:00
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I'm 15 minutes into The Lobster, there's the cutest dog in it, I hope there's more scenes with the good boy.
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Jan 26, 2020 18:08
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qed
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Jan 26, 2020 18:11
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I want to see a John Wick movie where he goes after the creators of Milo and Otis for the many many dead dogs and cats.
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Jan 26, 2020 18:12
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John Wick fights Ogden Edsl for making light of dead puppies.
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Jan 26, 2020 18:15
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LifeSunDeath posted:I want to see a John Wick movie where he goes after the creators of Milo and Otis for the many many dead dogs and cats. Oh goddamn it 
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Jan 26, 2020 18:30
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beanieson posted:Except it’s the alt timeline where the high jackers crashed the Hindenburg into the towers.
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Jan 26, 2020 18:30
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Heath posted:You know what's a good wholesome movie without a single dog dying? It's a really good Mother's Day movie.
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