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Back in my helpdesk days, the ones who would outright lie boggled my mind. I would remote in, see that it was probably just a "It's Windows XP, just reboot it" fix and inform them to do that. They would then sit there for a minute and try the failing thing again, while I was still connected. "Nope, still not working" At which point I would actually reboot it without warning and have them try again. Magically, it worked almost every time.
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Feb 11, 2020 14:48
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AlexDeGruven posted:Back in my helpdesk days, the ones who would outright lie boggled my mind. Sounds like one of the people who thinks turning off their monitor is rebooting to me.
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Feb 11, 2020 15:00
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That's why you never use the word reboot, you tell them to power off and let it sit for 30 seconds for the electricity to come to a stop and then turn it back on again. They'll believe that, for some reason.
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Feb 11, 2020 15:50
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I once asked one of those people, if the monitor is the computer then what's the big beige tower under their desk. Apparently it's "The Box".
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Feb 11, 2020 16:40
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Happy Litterbox posted:I once asked one of those people, if the monitor is the computer then what's the big beige tower under their desk. Apparently it's "The Box". That's the CPU. Duh!
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Feb 11, 2020 16:44
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Happy Litterbox posted:I once asked one of those people, if the monitor is the computer then what's the big beige tower under their desk. Apparently it's "The Box". Around here it's usually the "hard drive"
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Feb 11, 2020 16:52
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Telling them to "power cycle the 'CPU'" isn't the end of the world I guess I long ago had to train myself out of telling people to "load <app>" because to me that meant "load <app> from floppy disk into RAM and then run <app>", but to them it meant "double click on <app> which is already loaded onto my hard disk from when I installed it"
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Feb 11, 2020 16:54
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PBS posted:Sounds like one of the people who thinks turning off their monitor is rebooting to me. No, this was flat out lying. Caught a couple of them out on it.
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Feb 11, 2020 18:04
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Ours would lie so much they finally put the last reboot time right on the desktop, bypassing whatever bullshit they might have. To be fair to them some of my coworkers suck at their jobs too and will reboot any problem instead of actually looking at it first.
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Feb 11, 2020 18:11
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duz posted:That's why you never use the word reboot, you tell them to power off and let it sit for 30 seconds for the electricity to come to a stop and then turn it back on again. They'll believe that, for some reason. I mean, giving the capacitors time to discharge means this isn't entirely wrong 
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Feb 11, 2020 18:55
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duz posted:That's why you never use the word reboot, you tell them to power off and let it sit for 30 seconds for the electricity to come to a stop and then turn it back on again. They'll believe that, for some reason. Unfortunately with default Windows 10, this doesn't actually do what we all expect it to do. Powering down just hibernates the system, it doesn't even reset the uptime counter. To actually reset the contents of memory and give the system a fresh start, you have to select "reboot" from the power menu. I'm sure there's a setting or registry entry that can change this behavior though.
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Feb 11, 2020 18:57
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Re: slow PCS When I started at a sister branch to the one I used to work at, I was forced to temporarily use a Win10 desktop that a coworker typically used. It took literally 2 minutes to open a blank Excel worksheet. Out of curiosity, I opened Task Manager and with nothing but that Excel instance open, it was at like 75% RAM usage and 80-something CPU. They had something like 2GB of RAM if I remember correctly. All of the Win10 desktops at this company are plagued by the same problem. The CFO went out and bought 4GB RAM sticks for every last loving one of them, but I don't think it solved the CPU issue - which sounds an awful lot like it may be due to the lack of a dedicated GPU and forcing the graphics onto the integrated chipset. As much as I WANT a Win10 laptop and Office 365 alongside 2013, I don't want these problems and am glad to have my 2010 Win7 Pro x64 laptop.
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Feb 11, 2020 19:12
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Data Graham posted:I don't care how "and the name of that boss was Albert Einstein" they sound, stories like that sustain me Me too. Because at the end of the day it matters not that the stories happened or not because we will never be directly involved. Tell me a good story and I’ll be entertained and that is enough. 
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Feb 11, 2020 19:30
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D34THROW posted:Re: slow PCS If the laptop had 2GB of RAM it's less likely to be using the integrated GPU and more that the integrated GPU is on a core 2 duo.
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Feb 11, 2020 19:32
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What do you guys say when one of your users tells you that a Windows 7 machine can't be upgraded and provides a KB on why? I have a system that is running Windows 7 embedded and there is no upgrade path for it other than buying a completely new system (it's a Tricaster video switcher for those that care). According to the Microsoft article, they will be providing support through October of this year for it, but that seems to fall on deaf ears. It will be getting replaced before the October deadline with a non-Windows system, but in the meantime we are stuck on a separate network from the rest of the company.
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Feb 11, 2020 20:18
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Treat those sorts of things as appliances and segregate them from the rest of the network. We have CNC routers that run Windows 7 and I don't want them domain joined, I don't want them receiving updates, I want them isolated and just accepting inbound connections from the department that needs to send jobs down to them. The vendor can manage all aspects of maintenance.
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Feb 11, 2020 20:21
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I've even got a version of this at home due to an old InfiniTV card that really only works with Media Center. I guess I could update it to win 8.1 but... Ew. Mostly waiting for the next cablecard device to finally be done, but its very much it will be done when it's done deal. To the point the products page has a big memo come up from the company CEO saying look we know people really want this but certification is stupid and slow.
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Feb 11, 2020 20:36
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AlexDeGruven posted:No, this was flat out lying. Ticket: my deskphone isn't working, my cell is X I call and asked if it's plugged in, he says yes. 10 min walk to where he is and the cable is on the floor right next to the outlet. I've never wanted to hit a user so bad.
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Feb 11, 2020 20:58
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22 Eargesplitten posted:If the laptop had 2GB of RAM it's less likely to be using the integrated GPU and more that the integrated GPU is on a core 2 duo. Even with 4 gig (or 6? OP was unclear whether RAM was added or replaced) Win10 will be unhappy. I don’t do Win10 with less than 8 GB. We tried 4 GB on some laptops we were trying to be budget conscious with in 2018 - same model as regular production, just less RAM, no biometric sensor, and slightly slower i5 - and they were dismal until we bumped them up to 8 GB. Just Office, Outlook, and a VOIP softphone.
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Feb 11, 2020 21:00
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in this thread's opinion is it reasonable to expect someone who has taught music here for over a decade to know how to burn a loving cd in the year two thousand twenty
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Feb 11, 2020 21:04
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less than three posted:Ticket: my deskphone isn't working, my cell is X The worst part of the job is that you can’t get mad and yell at these time-wasting fuckheads, especially if you work for an MSP or outsourcer. Ask how I know (hint, I no longer work for an outsourcer. I may have gotten irritated at a new guy who decided that upgrading the OS on his Mac would be a brilliant thing to do, and broke several things that weren’t yet compatible. To be fair, I should have blacklisted the upgraded, but I was sort of new to system management, but I was having a bad day already and sort of blew my stack at him.)
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Feb 11, 2020 21:04
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Weedle posted:in this thread's opinion is it reasonable to expect someone who has taught music here for over a decade to know how to burn a loving cd in the year two thousand twenty People still burn CDs? (But yes, anyone who has used a computer in the last decade should know this. Also, it’s sobering to realize “the last decade” now means the 2010s. Oof. ) Edit: so maybe not? I mean, I think I stopped burning CDs in favor of just using my phone or streaming around 2010.
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Feb 11, 2020 21:07
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Darchangel posted:The worst part of the job is that you can’t get mad and yell at these time-wasting fuckheads, especially if you work for an MSP or outsourcer. Ask how I know (hint, I no longer work for an outsourcer. I may have gotten irritated at a new guy who decided that upgrading the OS on his Mac would be a brilliant thing to do, and broke several things that weren’t yet compatible. To be fair, I should have blacklisted the upgraded, but I was sort of new to system management, but I was having a bad day already and sort of blew my stack at him.) Yeah I just repeatedly looked at him, and the outlet back and forth. I'm pretty sure he was just a dickhead who wanted someone to crawl on the floor and plug it in for them. Let alone how it got unplugged in the first place. 
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Feb 11, 2020 21:10
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It's just too easy to burn a cd now. They are expecting to have to run some cd-burner tool.
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Feb 11, 2020 21:13
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Darchangel posted:People still burn CDs? We use CDs for accompaniment during stage shows in our PAC. This particular teacher does two every year, so she's sat there in her classroom and watched me go through the process on her PC right in front of her on a number of occasions. Last time I gently suggested that she go through the steps herself while I was there to help so she could learn and I might as well have asked her to perform a loving organ transplant on me. She's worked here for six years longer than I have so I don't know what the gently caress she did before I showed up.
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Feb 11, 2020 21:14
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taqueso posted:It's just too easy to burn a cd now. They are expecting to have to run some cd-burner tool. No doubt. Both the Mac and Windows basically treat it like a thumb drive until you eject it, basically. Easy.
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Feb 11, 2020 21:16
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Darchangel posted:No doubt. Both the Mac and Windows basically treat it like a thumb drive until you eject it, basically. Easy. With the exception being that if you need audio tracks for a player that doesn't support mp3's
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Feb 11, 2020 21:20
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Weedle posted:This particular teacher does two every year, so she's sat there in her classroom and watched me go through the process on her PC right in front of her on a number of occasions.
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Feb 11, 2020 21:39
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I am cced in an email where my boss has asked my on-prem Winows engineering colleagues (I'm Azure engineering, he just has me with them to back them up on some minor stuff) to provide reasons why AD is superior to other credential stores. He has to present this to his boss and that guy's boss tomorrow. In a Windows environment, the Windows engineering manager cannot shut that poo poo down conclusively by telling them "it's 30+ year old proven technology" or "the alternative is some custom LDAP bullshit". Either he can't, or he's not technically competent enough to do so and has to have his reports produce a defense of literally the backbone of the entire network Welcome back to Big Corporate IT Department, me. Been a while, innit?
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Feb 11, 2020 21:53
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Darchangel posted:Even with 4 gig (or 6? OP was unclear whether RAM was added or replaced) Win10 will be unhappy. I don’t do Win10 with less than 8 GB. We tried 4 GB on some laptops we were trying to be budget conscious with in 2018 - same model as regular production, just less RAM, no biometric sensor, and slightly slower i5 - and they were dismal until we bumped them up to 8 GB. Just Office, Outlook, and a VOIP softphone. I have 32GB on my desktop and it idles between 10 and 18 depending on what I'm doing. Right now it's literally just Chromium Edge with about 18 tabs.
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Feb 11, 2020 22:18
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PremiumSupport posted:Unfortunately with default Windows 10, this doesn't actually do what we all expect it to do. Powering down just hibernates the system, it doesn't even reset the uptime counter. To actually reset the contents of memory and give the system a fresh start, you have to select "reboot" from the power menu. I'm sure there's a setting or registry entry that can change this behavior though. I believe this is the Fast Startup feature, you can disable it in the Define Power buttons menu (it's just a checkbox).
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Feb 11, 2020 22:31
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less than three posted:Ticket: my deskphone isn't working, my cell is X This is when I come back to the office to relay to my coworkers that the solution was “cables have two ends”. It’s more common than you think everyone. Most cables have a second end that goes somewhere. I’m hoping to have this finding published soon.
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Feb 11, 2020 22:37
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Doing support largely for college kids home internet I've learned to be extremely specific. "So if you look at your router, one end is plugged into the blue port labeled internet and the other end is running and plugged into the walljack, is that correct?" I mean, as long as their giving an effort, still periodically get people who immediately say yes and then I force them to go get me information off the router or something and then suddenly it connects. "Okay, seems like you're working now, good bye"
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Feb 11, 2020 22:41
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a ticket came in: hr is freaking out because a new employee entered their ssn wrong in their onboarding paperwork and it's messing up a bunch of stuff they're going to have to completely remove the lady and make her redo the onboarding personally I think they should rescind the job offer
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Feb 12, 2020 00:04
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Data Graham posted:I don't care how "and the name of that boss was Albert Einstein" they sound, stories like that sustain me The only embellishment was maybe in the content of the bullshit insults she was throwing at me. poo poo like that is a big part of why I'm still in therapy. Weedle posted:I don't know what the gently caress she did before I showed up. Speaking of my [redacted string of utter vitriol] former boss, she definitely pulled that poo poo on me repeatedly when I started working for that firm. We had an antiquated Avaya Merlin Magix system that she had been in charge of programming before they created an IT role and handed all that over to me. The documentation was poo poo, so I asked her if she could give me a warm hand-off so I could fix the documentation and know how to do it in the future. She came uncunterated and told me if I didn't know how to do my job, she didn't know why they hired me in the first place. Same bitch later told me that I spent too much time looking things up on Google and not enough time doing actual work, and then proceeded to check my internet logs for things that weren't work related and dressed me down for reading a feminist blog on my break because she didn't think it was work appropriate. gently caress. I need to stop writing about this and go smoke some weed before my anxiety starts spiking again. Related, I drew these in my work clipboard while trying to unfuck the phone system.  
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Feb 12, 2020 00:17
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Dirt Road Junglist posted:
These are gold
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Feb 12, 2020 00:20
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Garrand posted:Doing support largely for college kids home internet I've learned to be extremely specific. "So if you look at your router, one end is plugged into the blue port labeled internet and the other end is running and plugged into the walljack, is that correct?"
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Feb 12, 2020 00:33
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PremiumSupport posted:Unfortunately with default Windows 10, this doesn't actually do what we all expect it to do. Powering down just hibernates the system, it doesn't even reset the uptime counter. To actually reset the contents of memory and give the system a fresh start, you have to select "reboot" from the power menu. I'm sure there's a setting or registry entry that can change this behavior though. Garrand posted:I believe this is the Fast Startup feature, you can disable it in the Define Power buttons menu (it's just a checkbox). Thanks for this, I didn't know about any of this and it's another potential investigation point for the never-ending stream of "network problems" that are obviously not actually problems with the network. EDIT: Garrand posted:Doing support largely for college kids home internet I've learned to be extremely specific. "So if you look at your router, one end is plugged into the blue port labeled internet and the other end is running and plugged into the walljack, is that correct?" The trick is not to ask yes/no questions. If you ask: quote:Is one end of the cable in the blue Internet port and the other end in a wall jack? then they can just say yes without knowing, checking, or doing anything. There are only two possibilities and whichever they pick will be coherent. But if you ask: quote:Can you tell me what each end of the cable is plugged into? then they have to generate an answer that makes sense. They could lie, of course, but most people won't, and moreover, won't know enough to generate a convincing lie. It will force them to go look, so they can describe the connections to your satisfaction. guppy fucked around with this message at 00:41 on Feb 12, 2020 |
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Feb 12, 2020 00:36
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Arquinsiel posted:I'd tell them that sometimes ISPs send out crossover or rollover cables and they're visually identical but also directional, so juuuuust to be sure let's switch ends to see if that fixes it even though, between you and me, it probably won't. Gave them the option of blaming their ISP for their own fuckup, and everyone knows ISPs are poo poo, right? Crossovers aren't directional but this is a brilliant way of getting them to make sure both ends are plugged in properly
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Feb 12, 2020 00:42
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The Fool posted:With the exception being that if you need audio tracks for a player that doesn't support mp3's Ah, point. I haven't made an audio disc in a very long time. less than three posted:Crossovers aren't directional but this is a brilliant way of getting them to make sure both ends are plugged in properly Of course they're not, but users don't know that, do they?
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Feb 12, 2020 01:14
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