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A few years ago my sister and I were reminiscing over a playthrough of Donkey Kong 64, a game I'd spent countless hours of our youth exploring in novel 3D but had been revealed by time as a plodding incoherent scavenger hunt - a position she had always held. I remarked to her "Imagine how bad it'd suck if you lived in the Soviet Union, stood in line three hours in the snow for this game, and this was your only game like it". She replied "I mean, I guess I'd loving love it in that case. Hahahahah, wow, maybe communism has its advantages" That thought has stuck with me ever since - that a lack of overinundation retains your perspective to appreciate what you have. It's truly vast cosmic irony that a bunch of tree apes developed over millions of years to put in my hands this amusement - not even key to survival and perpetuation - of manipulating flashing lights to inhabit an entirely alien world. Against such a sweep does it matter that I could be fractionally more stimulated by Banjo-Kazooie? Only in that I know it.
Daikloktos fucked around with this message at 12:04 on Feb 13, 2020 |
# ? Feb 12, 2020 08:58 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 17:32 |
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Daikloktos posted:A few years ago my sister and I were reminiscing over a playthrough of Donkey Kong 64, a game I'd spent countless hours of our youth exploring in novel 3D but had been revealed by time as a plodding incoherent scavenger hunt, a position she had always held. I remarked to her "Imagine how bad it'd suck if you lived in the Soviet Union, stood in line three hours in the snow for this game, and this was your only game like it". She replied "I mean, I guess I'd loving love it in that case. Hahahahah, wow, maybe communism has its advantages" That thought has stuck with me ever since - that a lack of overinundation retains your perspective to appreciate what you have. It's truly vast cosmic irony that a bunch of tree apes developed over million of years to put in my hands this amusement - not even key to survival and perpetuation - of manipulating flashing lights to inhabit an entirely alien world. Against such a sweep does it matter that I could be fractionally more stimulated by Banjo-Kazooie? Only in that I know it. Refresh me on DK64. Are there bananas in that one?
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# ? Feb 12, 2020 09:40 |
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It has some deliciously coloured varieties That first one actually exists in real life; it's even said to have the consistency and taste of vanilla ice cream
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# ? Feb 12, 2020 10:05 |
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The banana defender has logged on. That photo is ’shopped. There is a real cultivar called ‘Blue Java’ that does produce blueish bananas. They can look like this: They can also look only as blue as this: Nearly all of the plants sold as ‘Blue Java’ in the United States are actually an unrelated cultivar because a wholesaler mixed them up and retailers pass on the bad identification. I think that variety, ‘Namwah’, is the one in the ’shopped photo. It’s a fine banana in its own right. Neither of them taste at all like vanilla ice cream to my palate. If you’re ever in a market in a tropical area, do try some of the local bananas. They may not taste like vanilla ice cream, but they also do not taste like the supermarket variety, ‘Cavendish’. ‘Cavendish’ itself may not be on the shelves forever. Up to a quarter of banana growers’ expenses go toward controlling the black sigatoka fungus. Organic farmers spend even more money slashing and burning virgin rainforest to create a temporarily sterile environment in which they can grow an Organic® crop. Once the fungus inevitably moves in, they spray shiploads of fungicide everywhere, give up their organic certification on the property, and cut down more rainforest elsewhere to meet the demand for ~organic~ nanners. At farmer’s markets, you might also find the ‘Gros Michel’, the banana that launched a thousand coups. Many people think it’s extinct, but it’s not. It is no longer the foundation of the banana republic, but it is still grown on a decent scale in Southeast Asia and on small farms throughout the tropics.
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# ? Feb 12, 2020 11:15 |
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Where can I get the blue bananas
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# ? Feb 12, 2020 15:02 |
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Never mind that, give me the red bananas so I can be truly communist
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# ? Feb 12, 2020 15:19 |
clicked this thread expecting redistribution of sisternudes, received phallic fruits instead.
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# ? Feb 12, 2020 16:16 |
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Eat bananas while you can. We grow them by clones and have aggressively artificially selected them so there’s only like a dozen genomes left in the entire banana gene pool
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# ? Feb 12, 2020 16:24 |
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eSports Chaebol posted:Eat bananas while you can. We grow them by clones and have aggressively artificially selected them so there’s only like a dozen genomes left in the entire banana gene pool There are over two thousand known varieties. A university in Belgium hosts a collection of sixteen hundred. https://twitter.com/CropTrust/status/1227259508453519366
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# ? Feb 12, 2020 23:19 |
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I would've got 100% on dk64, except there was a bug where if you didn't collect some banana medals in the final level before exiting the room, they became incorporeal and you could never collect them again. then like a year later I did it all again and was careful to get those medals. essentially I got 101% twice. the residual psychic trauma is a part of why I am so hosed up today. ama
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# ? Feb 12, 2020 23:23 |
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DK! DONKEY KONG!
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 01:07 |
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kongunism
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 01:43 |
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can this just be the short lived c-spam banana thread i'm likin' these banana posts
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 01:47 |
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Platystemon posted:‘Cavendish’ itself may not be on the shelves forever. Up to a quarter of banana growers’ expenses go toward controlling the black sigatoka fungus. Organic farmers spend even more money slashing and burning virgin rainforest to create a temporarily sterile environment in which they can grow an Organic® crop. Once the fungus inevitably moves in, they spray shiploads of fungicide everywhere, give up their organic certification on the property, and cut down more rainforest elsewhere to meet the demand for ~organic~ nanners. It's wild how sterile and assembly-line uniform we've crafted this fruit. I guess you can look at the Dachshund for a wilder trip over generational husbandry but there's always something compelling about food mysticism, whether it be the channer obsessed with soybeans as why there's such trans visibility these days or the corporations hoping their new miracle berry goes over as hard as the one three years ago. Plus nobody's ever knocked over a government to keep the weiner dogs flowing.
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:48 |
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Shove a banana in me!!!
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:50 |
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Daikloktos posted:I enjoyed the whole post of course, but especially this since I only understood slash and burn farming from the fertilization angle. To continue to be totally out of my depth, exactly how far-off science fiction is genetic companies cracking fungus-resistant bananas? Is that the sort of thing that might conceivably happen in my lifetime? it's happening right now, bit by bit
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:02 |
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World War Mammories posted:I would've got 100% on dk64, except there was a bug where if you didn't collect some banana medals in the final level before exiting the room, they became incorporeal and you could never collect them again. then like a year later I did it all again and was careful to get those medals. essentially I got 101% twice. the residual psychic trauma is a part of why I am so hosed up today. ama Daikloktos fucked around with this message at 03:09 on Feb 13, 2020 |
# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:05 |
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Platystemon posted:The banana defender has logged on. who are you to tell a banana what it can look like? donkey kong would never
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:06 |
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Daikloktos posted:It's wild how sterile and assembly-line uniform we've crafted this fruit. I guess you can look at the Dachshund for a wilder trip over generational husbandry but there's always something compelling about food mysticism, whether it be the channer obsessed with soybeans as why there's such trans visibility these days or the corporations hoping their new miracle berry goes over as hard as the one three years ago. Plus nobody's ever knocked over a government to keep the weiner dogs flowing. the transformation of lovely inedible plants into staple crops is by far the greatest achievement of human civilization but none of our history books acknowledge this because if they did theyd have to admit both that some of our greatest improvements in quality of life were invented collectively and selfessly over countless generations centuries before capitalism and even worse that they were invented by non white people
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:10 |
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like try to imagine what italian food would be like if some wacky native americans hadnt spent centuries trying to make an edible version of literal poison now reconcile that with the popular image of native americans being savage idiots who just ate whatever random poo poo they found lying around and were incapable of complex reasoning
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:18 |
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gene-splicing to make something X-resistant is a thing we're doing right now, but the catch is you need to find a compound that 1. fucks up X 2. does not gently caress up humans 3. is produced by a bacterium we know how to manipulate 4. and is being spliced into something we know how to manipulate the list of 1 and 2 is pretty comprehensive at this point, 3 and 4 we're working on the old fashioned way also works, but it's reeeeeal fuckin' slow
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:46 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZZbZBAQDNE
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:48 |
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:51 |
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World War Mammories posted:I would've got 100% on dk64, except there was a bug where if you didn't collect some banana medals in the final level before exiting the room, they became incorporeal and you could never collect them again. then like a year later I did it all again and was careful to get those medals. essentially I got 101% twice. the residual psychic trauma is a part of why I am so hosed up today. ama I got every single collectible and every single thing in that game... except for one golden banana - the banana from lanky rematching the bunny. I spent hours trying to get it and gave up. I never got it and now I wander the world hoping Bernie gets that hen.
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:53 |
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really queer Christmas posted:I got every single collectible and every single thing in that game... except for one golden banana - the banana from lanky rematching the bunny. I spent hours trying to get it and gave up.
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:27 |
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:42 |
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the banana is the snickers bar of fruits
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:44 |
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Platystemon posted:The banana defender has logged on. lol
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:50 |
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really queer Christmas posted:I got every single collectible and every single thing in that game... except for one golden banana - the banana from lanky rematching the bunny. I spent hours trying to get it and gave up. I never got it and now I wander the world hoping Bernie gets that hen. the rabbit is literally broken, you have to use a glitch to start early or you cannot win (you can also get lucky and have the rabbit get stuck on the enemy in the tunnel). Chained Kongs were thought to be POWs of the Great Ape War, unlike Mankey Kong, who is known to be a traitor to the Kong Kause.
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 04:58 |
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Daikloktos posted:I enjoyed the whole post of course, but especially this since I only understood slash and burn farming from the fertilization angle. To continue to be totally out of my depth, exactly how far-off science fiction is genetic companies cracking fungus-resistant bananas? Is that the sort of thing that might conceivably happen in my lifetime? The idea that companies will develope fungus‐resistant bananas is fiction, but not for the reason you think. First let’s talk about banana genetics. The joke about bananas is that they haven’t had sex for ten thousand years. There is a kernel (that’s a pun) of truth to that. Edible cultivars are sterile, almost by definition. ‘Gros Michel’ could not be bred with ‘Cavendish’ to get something that’s resistant to Panama disease. However, the forebears of edible bananas were not sterile. We can go to the wild relatives of the domestic banana, breed within each species for fungus resistance, cross two species to get a seedless hybrid, and see how it performs. We’re not modifying a known tasty variety to be resistant to fungus; we’re pulling a slot machine handle and hoping to get something that tastes good and grows well. Sexual reproduction is great, but there is another way. Clones can diverge through mutations. This can be accelerated with the atomic gardening that gave us the ruby red grapefruit (no, really), but it happens through the centuries regardless. At around the time the (western) Roman Empire was a going concern, someone in the area of the African Great Lakes obtained a single banana plant. In the centuries since, bananas have flourished in the region. There are now some two hundred cultivars. The majority are picked green and prepared somewhat like a potato, steamed and mashed. There are at least a dozen cultivars that are specialised for beer‐making, the banana equivalent of cider apples. Ugandans eat a quarter tonne of bananas per person per year. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sK2MStmxWM Here is what it looks like to make banana beer the traditional way. It’s more fun. Despite the great culinary diversity displayed by East African highland bananas (EAHB), they remain extremely close genetically. Threats to the West’s favourite snack the Cavendish get all the press, but an epidemic in East African highland bananas could be this century’s potato famine. Scientists in Uganda are working on diversifying EAHBs by finding fertile mutants. quote:The highest pollination success for the EAHB cultivars was expressed by cultivar “Nakabululu” (34.3%) (Nakabululu clone set) with an average of 1.5 seeds per pollinated bunch To be clear, a “bunch” of bananas is the entire crop of one plant, not the “hand” they’re broken into at retail. So it’s like finding a needle in a haystack even with the best candidates. Uganda isn’t the only nation reliant on bananas. Nigeria, Cameroon, Côte d’Ivoire, China, India, Indonesia, the United States, France (in Guadeloupe), Brazil, and Honduras also have breeding programmes. So why did I say that companies weren’t going to create fungus‐resistant bananas? Simple: these are all national efforts. Let’s ask the big fruit companies what they think about research and development. David McLaughlin, Chiquita’s senior director for environmental affairs said in 2003, “We supported a breeding program for forty years, but it wasn’t able to develop an alternative to Cavendish. It was very expensive and we got nothing back.” concluding “We concentrate on research into fungicides now.” Oh dear. Since then, they’ve backpedaled a little. quote:“We never left traditional breeding,” a spokesman for Chiquita told me. “In our core markets, in America and Europe, a genetically modified banana would never be marketable. At the end of the day, we’re interested in continuing to sell bananas.” Jorge Gonzales, Dole’s senior vice-president of agricultural research, said, “Traditional breeding is getting closer. This may be a shot in the dark, but if you don’t take the shot you’ve got absolutely zero chance of hitting the target.” Chiquita may say they “never left traditional breeding” but they did sell their program to the government of Honduras. It has since had success. Their first public release was FHIA‐01 ‘Goldfinger’. Some people think this will be the heir to Cavendish. There are several contenders. FHIA‐17 has ‘Gros Michel’ for a parent. Another way forward is genetic modification. This is faster than breeding and produces more consistent results, but like the Chiquita guy said, it spooks Western consumers. There is still a way to use modern biotech in a limited way by breeding bananas the old fashioned way, then looking at their genes and seeing how they turned out in important areas. This saves a lot of time over putting seeds in the ground and waiting till they mature. It was incredibly stupid for the big fruit companies to shutter their breeding programmes. Ugandans cannot afford to be so precious about their food. They’re genetically modifying bananas to be a better source of vitamin A. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUUpi7LHBbc There is western‐funded opposition to GMOs, but it’s tough to argue against “not going blind”. Here’s a trial of a fungus‐resistant strain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1TvpXKplns They are using genetic modification to protect the crop they need to survive. The great threats to the West’s favourite fruit are, in the final sense, ignorance and greed. Platystemon fucked around with this message at 10:32 on Feb 13, 2020 |
# ? Feb 13, 2020 09:50 |
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DK Isle is clearly a banana republic though
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 14:38 |
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Platystemon posted:banana post holy moly I was not expecting to actually learn anything in this thread, thanks for the effort post
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 15:00 |
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Platystemon posted:The great threats to the West’s favourite fruit are, in the final sense, ignorance and greed. I really need to do some more research about all the crops government programs have produced, I know in Canada our federal experimental farms have developed a lot of cold-resistant cereal crops. I'm guessing that most of the poo poo we rely on to sustain ourselves were spun out of government research because capital would never be willing to take on that kind of risk, go figure
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# ? Feb 13, 2020 15:01 |
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can you use a banana as a buttplug, this is kind of time sensitive so please answer soon
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# ? Feb 16, 2020 23:12 |
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T-man posted:can you use a banana as a buttplug, this is kind of time sensitive so please answer soon anything can be with a little bit of engineering
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# ? Feb 16, 2020 23:51 |
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A banana blossom has a more traditional shape than the fruit. That may look like a flared base, but the “petals” (actually modified leaves) at the base are too flexible and would fold back readily. You’d have to leave it attached to the banana bunch for safety.
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# ? Feb 17, 2020 00:47 |
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Platystemon posted:The idea that companies will develope fungus‐resistant bananas is fiction, but not for the reason you think. bananners
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# ? Feb 17, 2020 02:42 |
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his coconut gun can fire in spurts if he shoots you it’s gonna hurt
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# ? Feb 17, 2020 04:35 |
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did a mod sticky this or did someone pay money for that privilege not really sure how many banana related posts we can make here is it cultural appropriation for the minions to say banana in a funny voice
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# ? Feb 17, 2020 05:11 |
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# ? May 21, 2024 17:32 |
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Platystemon posted:The idea that companies will develope fungus‐resistant bananas is fiction, but not for the reason you think. I want to drink banana beer now. Just seeing it gurgle out of the jerrycan makes me want to try it.
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# ? Feb 17, 2020 05:37 |