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Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
I just know as someone who cooks that "it tastes like nothing!!!" is an lol complaint for most foods. Many things inherently taste like nothing or have very little taste. Cooking is how you give it taste. That's most of what cooking is.

Like, take a bite of chicken breast that has been cooked but has absolutely no sauce, oil, or seasoning. If you taste anything at all it's just the fat from the skin. Or just eat a raw green bean. That poo poo sucks. But you'd sound like a drat FOOL if you wrote off chicken or green beans because they "don't have taste" in their raw or unseasoned form. Most things that aren't fatty and aren't fruits have very little taste without preparation. That's why we cook!

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Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

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Illegal Hen
I like cutting up tofu, pressing it, then freezing it. That way whatever water molecules were left puncture the cell walls when it turns to ice & allow even more drainage when it thaws out. Texture gets pretty close to chicken IMO. You can then add whatever seasoning you want & those dry pieces soak them up well.

I have access to a dehydrator & I'm thinking of completely drying out some tofu.

Silken tofu is awesome in Kimchi Soondubu Jjigae.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Jasus Christ posted:

Hey so I like tofu very well, very yummy, mmm.

But what do you guys think about seitan?

hail seitan

i must compose
Jul 4, 2010

Until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.
Hail seitan.

E.gently caress

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Speaking of draining/pressing, that dude who only uses seasame oil to season his tofu also mentions only using two sheets of paper towel to soak up the water from it.
I ain't really sure how that's possible. I mean you do whatever you drat well want with it if you like it, knock your drat pants off. I just know that even with extra firm, I'll wrap mine in multiple layers and put it between two flat cutting boards and then put a couple heavy cook books or something on top of it and let it sit for a pretty good long while to get that stuff wrung out pretty drat good. Sometimes even change the paper towel wrap during the process.

snappo
Jun 18, 2006

cheetah7071 posted:

I'm gonna cook this

It seems like just sesame oil wouldn't be enough seasoning though, do you have any favorite sauce mixture you use for it?

I just let whatever sauce I'm stir frying with coat the tofu in the wok. I love the taste of cooked tofu on its own and I will snack on those bitches right off the cookie sheet. But for those who are trying to change its taste, I'd say soy sauce or oyster sauce would be a good starting point for marinade.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Chomp8645 posted:

I just know as someone who cooks that "it tastes like nothing!!!" is an lol complaint for most foods. Many things inherently taste like nothing or have very little taste. Cooking is how you give it taste. That's most of what cooking is.

Like, take a bite of chicken breast that has been cooked but has absolutely no sauce, oil, or seasoning. If you taste anything at all it's just the fat from the skin. Or just eat a raw green bean. That poo poo sucks. But you'd sound like a drat FOOL if you wrote off chicken or green beans because they "don't have taste" in their raw or unseasoned form. Most things that aren't fatty and aren't fruits have very little taste without preparation. That's why we cook!

Spittin straight gospel.

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010

honk honk
College Slice

Big Beef City posted:

Speaking of draining/pressing, that dude who only uses seasame oil to season his tofu also mentions only using two sheets of paper towel to soak up the water from it.
I ain't really sure how that's possible. I mean you do whatever you drat well want with it if you like it, knock your drat pants off. I just know that even with extra firm, I'll wrap mine in multiple layers and put it between two flat cutting boards and then put a couple heavy cook books or something on top of it and let it sit for a pretty good long while to get that stuff wrung out pretty drat good. Sometimes even change the paper towel wrap during the process.

yeah if I'm draining I have to check every few hours. The first sheets will be sopping wet all the way to the corners after an hour or two. The later sheets will be much less wet but you do need to change the paper towels

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Jasus Christ posted:

Hey so I like tofu very well, very yummy, mmm.

But what do you guys think about seitan?

Obligatory:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eovuIfeH2k4

snappo
Jun 18, 2006

Big Beef City posted:

Speaking of draining/pressing, that dude who only uses seasame oil to season his tofu also mentions only using two sheets of paper towel to soak up the water from it.
I ain't really sure how that's possible. I mean you do whatever you drat well want with it if you like it, knock your drat pants off. I just know that even with extra firm, I'll wrap mine in multiple layers and put it between two flat cutting boards and then put a couple heavy cook books or something on top of it and let it sit for a pretty good long while to get that stuff wrung out pretty drat good. Sometimes even change the paper towel wrap during the process.

Hey pal. I don't go crazy trying to expel all water, I just want the surface to be damp rather than dripping wet. Having some moisture in middle gives baked tofu a nice texture. I probably wring out about a tablespoon worth of water per slice, which a couple of paper towel can easily hold.

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019

We talkin like Brawny or generic?

snappo
Jun 18, 2006
Generic for me, but like use however much paper towel you need. My prep takes like 30 seconds per slice, so like 2.5 minutes for a whole block. I've done the "tofu between cutting boards with a cast iron skillet on top" and I have found no advantage in doing so.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

snappo posted:

Hey pal. I don't go crazy trying to expel all water, I just want the surface to be damp rather than dripping wet. Having some moisture in middle gives baked tofu a nice texture. I probably wring out about a tablespoon worth of water per slice, which a couple of paper towel can easily hold.

Water is the flavor-killer. Water is the little-death that brings total saturation. I will wring out the water. I will permit it to soak out of me and through me. And when it has soaked through I will turn the inner eye to see its path to the garbage. Where the water has gone there will be marinade. Only flavor will remain.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
The essence of pure flavor!

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here
Tea towels are where it's at for squishing that 'fu. GET REUSABLE!!!!

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

i will consider picking up tofu today and playing around with it

im generally not a picky eater with a few exceptions but i should try some tofu recipes

snappo
Jun 18, 2006

Big Beef City posted:

Water is the flavor-killer. Water is the little-death that brings total saturation. I will wring out the water. I will permit it to soak out of me and through me. And when it has soaked through I will turn the inner eye to see its path to the garbage. Where the water has gone there will be marinade. Only flavor will remain.

Get a load of this guy who doesn't like tofu.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

numberoneposter posted:

i will consider picking up tofu today and playing around with it

im generally not a picky eater with a few exceptions but i should try some tofu recipes

At least where I live (where food is truly ridiculously expensive in comparison to cost of living) tofu is also cheap as hell. Like, I can get chicken cheaper but only by like $0.50 a pound.

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019

Literally A Person posted:

Tea towels are where it's at for squishing that 'fu. GET REUSABLE!!!!

Get green with your soybeans

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

snappo posted:

Get a load of this guy who doesn't like tofu.


I like it "as is" just fine in things like miso or hot and sour soups and the like.

But if you're gonna be roasting it in slices for a more textured approach yeah you're dang right I want more than sesame oil and un-marinaded not properly drained tofu, yea.
Also don't roast/fry things in sesame oil it's got a smoke point lower than flippin butter, god drat. Roast it with a TINY amount of peanut oil and use sesame oil like a dressing after the fact. Man.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

Tofutti Tofu Based Frozen Tofu and Fruit Dessert Product

snappo
Jun 18, 2006

Big Beef City posted:

I like it "as is" just fine in things like miso or hot and sour soups and the like.

But if you're gonna be roasting it in slices for a more textured approach yeah you're dang right I want more than sesame oil and un-marinaded not properly drained tofu, yea.
Also don't roast/fry things in sesame oil it's got a smoke point lower than flippin butter, god drat. Roast it with a TINY amount of peanut oil and use sesame oil like a dressing after the fact. Man.

I remain pleased with the way I've been preparing my tofu despite everything you've said today.

Skarsnik
Oct 21, 2008

I...AM...RUUUDE!




Anyone who says it tastes like nothing doesn't know how to cook

Puffed tofu is hella good too if you can find it

Also deep frying it so you get crispy cubes, yum

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

snappo posted:

I remain pleased with the way I've been preparing my tofu despite everything you've said today.

I'm coming to your house

Nurge
Feb 4, 2009

by Reene
Fun Shoe
Tofu is loving gross as are most other faux-meats or whatever. Oat stuff prepped right is reasonableish replacement for ground beef, but meh. Still not a huge fan.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Shredded pork with dried bean curd is a good chinese dish and you should order it/make it

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

doesnt really matter what im eating tbh it just gets drown in sriracha any ways

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010

honk honk
College Slice
tofu isn't a meat substitute

it's tofu

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Nurge posted:

Tofu is loving gross as are most other faux-meats or whatever. Oat stuff prepped right is reasonableish replacement for ground beef, but meh. Still not a huge fan.

we're not talking about making soy-burgers or fake hot dogs here, holmes.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
Yeah, fake meat is fake meat. Tofu is tofu. It is not intended to "fake" or "replace" meat like a soy sausage or something. It is just a food that has a lot of protein, leading many to use in similar applications as meat.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

numberoneposter posted:

doesnt really matter what im eating tbh it just gets drown in sriracha any ways

This but chili garlic sauce.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Chomp8645 posted:

Yeah, fake meat is fake meat. Tofu is tofu. It is not intended to "fake" or "replace" meat like a soy sausage or something. It is just a food that has a lot of protein, leading many to use in similar applications as meat.

Or even with meat. Ma po tofu is the loving bomb.

PhazonLink
Jul 17, 2010
I learned about seitan from a dumbass that selfdiagnosis themselves with gluten intolerance.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Resting Lich Face posted:

Or even with meat. Ma po tofu is the loving bomb.

True.


I've been to a korean restaurant called "Tofu House". They serve plenty of meat. You just meat and tofu in a lot of dishes, whatever is it you ordered. Beef and tofu, chicken and tofu, pork and tofu.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

not seitan or tofo but close enough, I've used TVP crumbles (Bob's red mill) to make totally great taco meat filler.

It's not totally meatless, because I'll use beef stock to reconstitute it along with a packet of taco seasoning, or sometimes just do a 50/50 mix of the TVP and regular burger to make it.
Toss that into some hard shells and 'American style' taco fixin's like you were having a junky taco night, and damned if you don't have something totally indistinguishable from something that's better than Taco Bell/on par with regular taco meat.

That is one thing I'll do a "meat substitution" for with no real loss. It's actually pretty impressive. Granted, at the end of the day, you're eating an American hard shell style taco dinner, but there's nothing really wrong with that. Dress 'em up real good.

Jestery
Aug 2, 2016


Not a Dickman, just a shape
Ok talk have convinced me to meal prep some tofu these coming weeks

Tofu in packets is Hella expensive here, but I know I can get dried soybeans pretty cheap from a local grocer

Does it make sense to batch make a bunch of tofu from dried bean, and freeze it in blocks to be used for the next few weeks?

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
I bought the tofu.




Planning to cook it tomorrow. It was $2 for this I think.

angerbot
Mar 23, 2004

plob
If you don't have some of this:



Get some of that. It's fantastic and spicy and probably has a lot of MSG in it, but MSG is not actually bad for you.

Jestery
Aug 2, 2016


Not a Dickman, just a shape
Inb4 msg detail

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Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth
I'll look into it. First I'm gonna make the same recipe I do with chicken/pork for comparison. Then I'll think about modifying with new sauces.


I did look for the black bean sauce or paste or whatever mentioned earlier, didn't see it at my store.

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