Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

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Perry Mason Jar: Feb 24, 2006; "Della? Take a lid"

kopasetic posted:

chest CT scan is apparently outperforming all serological testing now as far as sensitivity for detecting COVID19 goes (97% vs 71% with the blood test). hospitals should probably just send every sicky through the donut of truth instead of waiting for the cdc.

Source: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/02/200226151951.htm

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:06

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 13:33

Honj Steak: May 31, 2013; Hi there.

They should test any pneumonia case for flu and corona as part of a nation wide disease screening program.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:09

Perry Mason Jar: Feb 24, 2006; "Della? Take a lid"

You doomers aren't seeing the bright side to this:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/investing/shares/stocks-could-soar-coronavirus-pandemic/
[PAYWALLED; FULL TEXT BELOW]

quote:

These stocks could soar in a coronavirus pandemic

While some companies have lost millions to the virus, others have seen their share price leap by more than 1,000pc since the outbreak
By Marianna Hunt 27 February 2020 � 5:00am
Premium

Global stock markets have fallen this week as the coronavirus virus outbreak reached Europe and continued to put the brakes on factory output and international trade. Investors around the world feared falling business profits.

On Monday, after a number of deaths were reported in Italy, more than $1 trillion (�770bn) was wiped from markets around the world and the FTSE 100 suffered its worst one-day fall since 2015.

But the picture is not entirely bleak for investors. Some stocks have defied the slowdown and could continue to benefit as the virus spreads further. So where could investors put their money?
Pharmaceuticals

Any business that finds a cure for the disease is sure to end up posting post large profits.

Moderna is an American drug discovery and development company hoping to do just that. Its share price jumped by 16pc on Monday to $21.33 (�16.50) when it delivered an experimental vaccine for coronavirus.

Shares, which are traded on the American stock exchange Nasdaq, are in hot demand according to Daniel Coatsworth, of stock broker AJ Bell. However the treatment still needs to be tested on humans and results are not expected until the summer.

Mr Coatsworth said: �Anyone considering buying the shares must understand the risks associated, as drug trials regularly fail."

Another stock that has already benefited from the rising number of cases is Novacyt, which produces test kits to diagnose for coronavirus.

Its shares, which are listed on the Alternative Investment Market (Aim), Britain�s junior stock market, have risen more than ten times since it revealed it was developing a new test for the virus. They now cost around 125p per share.

Novacyt was the most traded stock via broker Interactive Investor on Monday. Lee Wild, of the broker, said tens of thousands of Novacyt�s kits have already been sold, mainly to China, America and Britain.

Total sales could be in the hundreds of thousands or even more. �It depends how long the virus lasts and how widespread it becomes,� he said.
Preventative measures

Aside from curing the virus, people are also desperate to prevent it. Many governments have been issuing strict hygiene instructions to help stop the spread.

The share price of Byotrol, which makes antimicrobial sanitisers and wipes, has doubled since the start of 2020 to 3p. The company is also listed on the Aim market.

Byotrol�s products are used not only by factories and hospitals but in homes too, so demand is high. However Mr Coatsworth warned that the market is already pricing in this potential sales boost.

Sam Slator of financial planner Chelsea Financial Services tipped Clorox, which produces a range of disinfectants and cleaning products.These are sold in more than 100 countries.

�The company is held in the popular Fundsmith Equity fund and it is one of the few stocks to go up in recent days,� Ms Slator said. Its price is now $1.67 per share.

Sales of protective masks are also going through the roof. Taobao, a retailer owned by Chinese e-commerce behemoth Alibaba, said it sold around 80 million face masks in one day in January. As a result, the valuation of companies manufacturing these masks has surged.

The share price of Kawamoto, a Japanese mask-maker, increased seven-fold in a matter of weeks earlier this year. One share now costs 2,187 Japanese yen (�15.35).

After the January spike, the company�s share price dipped as investors became less fearful of the coronavirus, but has started to steadily rise again.
Video conferencing apps

People returning to Britain from virus-stricken areas including Iran and parts of northern Italy have been advised to self-quarantine for 14 days. In China entire cities are on lockdown.

While Chinese workers and students have been stuck at home, demand for virtual office tools and video conferences apps has soared. These allow them to communicate with teachers and colleagues remotely.

Asian tech giants Alibaba and Tencent both offer these services via apps called DingTalk and Tencent Conference. These are currently the top two most downloaded free apps in China�s iOS App Store.

The companies are also expanding their offering to meet growing needs. Alibaba�s DingTalk recently launched a number of new features including one which allows lessons and conferences to be live-streamed to more than 300 people.

Those looking for a Western rival that could capitalise on demand for these services should look to Zoom Video Communications, Ms Slator said.

�It listed on the Nasdaq last year and the share price did very well very quickly,� she added. It has risen from around $0.68 per share at the start of January to just over $1 yesterday.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:09

Bronze Fonz: Feb 14, 2019

Dog Toothbrush posted:

oh my loving god it owns how the US response to this is so insanely incompetent it veers directly into conspiracy theory territory

As lovely as US government response to [anything] is, even more so under Trump, every single country on earth will act with sheer incompetence and idiocy to this.
We're all on our own, always will be. We are not prepared to deal with a severe pandemic on a global scale and we simply cannot be.

Sure, you could close down every border, ground all planes, quarantine everyone while special teams with adequate protection deliver needed basic supplies to everyone until it blows over... but economical and political factors won't allow such drastic measures until it's too late, and we don't have the means to realistically do it anyway.

So stock up on pizza rolls and booze while you can.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:11

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

CLUSTERS

https://twitter.com/bnodesk/status/1233468245987987456?s=21

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:11

Wiggly Wayne DDS: Sep 11, 2010

Agronox posted:

I got to sit in on a presentation by a hospital group earlier today. One of the things the presenting doctor went over was testing. I tried to get this as best I can but forgive me if my notes are a little off.

Right now--this will change as more resources are available--ONLY the CDC can check for Covid-19 in the US. They will only test if you fall into one of the following three categories:

1. (Fever OR Lower Respiratory Illness) AND (Contact with a confirmed carrier within the last 14 days)

2. (Fever AND Lower Respiratory Illness) AND (Travel to areas affected by Covid-19)

3. (Fever AND Acute Severe Lower Respiratory Illness) AND (No other plausible explanation for the symptoms)

So unless you've had contact with someone with it or just came back from Milan or whatever, the only way you're getting a test is if you have fluid in your lungs and are at death's door

the cdc live call update was earlier today and had a few nuggets hidden in the q&a (call starts 20m in): https://youtu.be/6jpOXxMCRUc?t=1195

so you have to do a confirmatory test with the cdc and they'll take at least 48 hours, so that nyc case is probably still in the pipeline. they talked about the california case mentioned itt where cdc said no to testing for 4 days (from the 19th iirc). they're claiming their first call regarding this was received on the 23rd, and they have never said no to anyone for testing (lol). further to that they're trying to claim that there's clinical discretion in the criteria but that runs counter to too many sources at this point. they also don't want to talk about projected infections and preparations at this moment: just focus on how few we've detected

there's was more talk about the new test kit having two components, 6 trial cities for more testing by the end of next week, etc but i may not have caught that properly

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:15

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Bronze Fonz posted:

and we don't have the means to realistically do it anyway.

I mean we absolutely have the means. Shutting down airports, putting a 1-month moratorium on rent, requiring all businesses provide a one-off 4 consecutive week paid sick-leave for all workers, requiring all workplaces provide as most work-from-home where possible for the next 3 months, free testing for all with testing stations setup at CVS or some poo poo. these are all actually relatively trivial to implement and wouldn't hurt NUMBER; but yes GOP will steadfastedly refuse to do even the most worthless measure even as it kills off all their voters, which I hope it does.

GOP passed a literal $2 trillion tax cut for the loving wealthiest people, and even all that being implemented and the temporary loss of GDP wouldn't come close to a fraction of $2 trillion. that isn't even radical poo poo, just the absolute basic low hanging fruit

start learning to love bingo ya'll. GOP has their foot to pedal, lets just add a bit of nitro to the engine.

Xaris fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Feb 28, 2020

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:15

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Honj Steak posted:

They should test any pneumonia case for flu and corona as part of a nation wide disease screening program.

whoa whoa whoa why would we want to know if people are sick? if we knew that then we'd have to give them the day off, and that's bad for economics

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:20

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

Xaris posted:

I mean we absolutely have the means. Shutting down airports, putting a 1-month moratorium on rent, requiring all businesses provide a one-off 4 consecutive week paid sick-leave for all workers, requiring all workplaces provide as most work-from-home where possible for the next 3 months, free testing for all with testing stations setup at CVS or some poo poo. these are all actually relatively trivial to implement and wouldn't hurt NUMBER; but yes GOP will steadfastedly refuse to do even the most worthless measure even as it kills off all their voters, which I hope it does.

start learning to love bingo ya'll. GOP has their foot to pedal, lets just add a bit of nitro to the engine.

these are very good ideas. too bad, guess we'll all just die

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:20

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1233468963625086977?s=20

https://twitter.com/2019nCoVwatcher/status/1233168171881857024?s=20

https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1233454876304314368?s=20

https://twitter.com/AnjaHopps/status/1233469439355621377?s=20

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:23

Vishass: Feb 1, 2004

Agronox posted:

I got to sit in on a presentation by a hospital group earlier today. One of the things the presenting doctor went over was testing. I tried to get this as best I can but forgive me if my notes are a little off.

Right now--this will change as more resources are available--ONLY the CDC can check for Covid-19 in the US. They will only test if you fall into one of the following three categories:

1. (Fever OR Lower Respiratory Illness) AND (Contact with a confirmed carrier within the last 14 days)

2. (Fever AND Lower Respiratory Illness) AND (Travel to areas affected by Covid-19)

3. (Fever AND Acute Severe Lower Respiratory Illness) AND (No other plausible explanation for the symptoms)

So unless you've had contact with someone with it or just came back from Milan or whatever, the only way you're getting a test is if you have fluid in your lungs and are at death's door

They only updated that yesterday. Guidelines were still only testing people who had direct contact with or were someone from Wuhan like 24 hours ago.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:26

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

Xaris posted:

I mean we absolutely have the means. Shutting down airports, putting a 1-month moratorium on rent, requiring all businesses provide a one-off 4 consecutive week paid sick-leave for all workers, requiring all workplaces provide as most work-from-home where possible for the next 3 months, free testing for all with testing stations setup at CVS or some poo poo. these are all actually relatively trivial to implement and wouldn't hurt NUMBER; but yes GOP will steadfastedly refuse to do even the most worthless measure even as it kills off all their voters, which I hope it does.

GOP passed a literal $2 trillion tax cut for the loving wealthiest people, and even all that being implemented and the temporary loss of GDP wouldn't come close to a fraction of $2 trillion. that isn't even radical poo poo, just the absolute basic low hanging fruit

start learning to love bingo ya'll. GOP has their foot to pedal, lets just add a bit of nitro to the engine.

BTW, we've literally wiped out the entire stock market gain since the day the tax cuts were passed this week

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:29

stephenthinkpad: Jan 2, 2020

Gunshow Poophole posted:

I figured it was widespread throughout the lines that intersect with Midtown (ie nearly all of them) as of 2 weeks ago.

if y'all NYC goons need anything, seriously, give a holler. i ain't dead yet

e: ahem I mean if youse guys need anything let me know. lapsing into carolinese is an early symptom of coronavirus

I plan to hold out to be the last one to get infected. Starting next week I will cycle to downtown.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:30

Limerick: Oct 23, 2009

The Glumslinger posted:

BTW, we've literally wiped out the entire stock market gain since the day the tax cuts were passed this week

Sacrifice it all for number, and then number lets you down. :sad:

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:31

Rah!: Feb 21, 2006

ok i wont shake any hands bing bong

not like i have to ride the bus everywhere where i will be doing the equivalent of shaking 69 hands per second

maybe i should just wear my homemade trumpy bear suit i've been knitting out of big diaps (MOST ABSORBENT SUIT MUST BE UP 2 THE TASK)

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:33

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

I've been taking shits in the urinals to increase the blast radius of my coronavirus

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:34

Zotix: Aug 14, 2011

vyst posted:

I've been taking shits in the urinals to increase the blast radius of my coronavirus

This is illegal

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:36

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

vyst posted:

I've been taking shits in the urinals to increase the blast radius of my coronavirus

start making GBS threads in the aisle of the grocery store, gotta get the one-up on preppers before they hold up

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:37

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

vyst posted:

I've been taking shits in the urinals to increase the blast radius of my coronavirus

power move

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:37

MayakovskyMarmite: Dec 5, 2009

Game of musical chairs. They will stop rolling commercial paper when a company's revenue craters. There will be a lot of companies missing pay-roll soon enough.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:39

Agronox: Feb 4, 2005

Wiggly Wayne DDS posted:

the cdc live call update was earlier today and had a few nuggets hidden in the q&a (call starts 20m in): https://youtu.be/6jpOXxMCRUc?t=1195

so you have to do a confirmatory test with the cdc and they'll take at least 48 hours, so that nyc case is probably still in the pipeline. they talked about the california case mentioned itt where cdc said no to testing for 4 days (from the 19th iirc). they're claiming their first call regarding this was received on the 23rd, and they have never said no to anyone for testing (lol). further to that they're trying to claim that there's clinical discretion in the criteria but that runs counter to too many sources at this point. they also don't want to talk about projected infections and preparations at this moment: just focus on how few we've detected

there's was more talk about the new test kit having two components, 6 trial cities for more testing by the end of next week, etc but i may not have caught that properly

Vishass posted:

They only updated that yesterday. Guidelines were still only testing people who had direct contact with or were someone from Wuhan like 24 hours ago.

Thank you both. This is far from my wheelhouse so any further info is appreciated.

The other stat he mentioned that was interesting--maybe this was in the CDC call, which I should start listening to--was that of the 445 tests, even under the very stringent criteria to get one, only 14 came back positive.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:40

Vishass: Feb 1, 2004

Doc Walrus posted:

This seems... really high. Like people didn't die that fast at that scale in China at first, did they?

It didn't just start. Iran has been sitting on it for weeks. Canadian epidemiologists figure there's 18,000+ infected and Iran has been keeping it quiet since early Feb or so

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:43

Harry Potter on Ice: Nov 4, 2006; IF IM NOT BITCHING ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS, REPORT ME FOR MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HIJACKED

When will the cdc release their Friday numbers? Its only M/W/Fri right?

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:44

Doorknob Slobber: Sep 10, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Agronox posted:

Thank you both. This is far from my wheelhouse so any further info is appreciated.

The other stat he mentioned that was interesting--maybe this was in the CDC call, which I should start listening to--was that of the 445 tests, even under the very stringent criteria to get one, only 14 came back positive.

lol the test is like 40% effective

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:44

FistEnergy: Nov 3, 2000; DAY CREW: WORKING HARD; Fun Shoe

Just had a meeting with my company HR, and just like the CDC, they're not concerned unless you recently traveled to one of the big infection countries. It's laughably reactive and doesn't address the initial asymptomatic/communicable period. America doesn't care unless you just came back from China/Korea/Italy and you're coughing up a lung.

We're 100% Boned

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:45

Wiggly Wayne DDS: Sep 11, 2010

Harry Potter on Ice posted:

When will the cdc release their Friday numbers? Its only M/W/Fri right?

yeah only Mon/Wed/Fri, somehow they aren't capable of daily updates like every other country in the world

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:46

Zotix: Aug 14, 2011

I can't wait to have my talk with my company on Monday.

I know one of our clients in the UK has recently enabled full work from home capability.

We won't get that poo poo lul.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:49

Mr.Pibbleton: Feb 3, 2006; Aleuts rock, chummer.

Sure, you're stocking up on basic necessities, but what about defending those supplies?

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:50

Mr.Pibbleton: Feb 3, 2006; Aleuts rock, chummer.

Dog went raider on me, demands I refer to him as "Perro Jefe" I'm going to go record my thoughts on this in an audio log.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:51

TOOT BOOT: May 25, 2010

So what's happening in China lately? Are they actually getting over it or just hiding the extent of it now or ???

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:51

Vishass: Feb 1, 2004

FistEnergy posted:

Just had a meeting with my company HR, and just like the CDC, they're not concerned unless you recently traveled to one of the big infection countries. It's laughably reactive and doesn't address the initial asymptomatic/communicable period. America doesn't care unless you just came back from China/Korea/Italy and you're coughing up a lung.

We're 100% Boned

my wife's company is actually taking it seriously and is prepared to hit the "everyone telecommute" button the moment poo poo pops off

My job... just counted 4 people coughing within 20 feet of me while I was writing this

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:51

A Buttery Pastry: Sep 4, 2011; Delicious and Informative!

twoday posted:

https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1233468963625086977?s=20

*Kissing intensifies*

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:51

Perry Mason Jar: Feb 24, 2006; "Della? Take a lid"

FistEnergy posted:

It's laughably reactive and doesn't address the initial asymptomatic/communicable period.

27 days

big woop, doomer

Doorknob Slobber posted:

lol the test is like 40% effective

71%

Vishass posted:

It didn't just start. Iran has been sitting on it for weeks. Canadian epidemiologists figure there's 18,000+ infected and Iran has been keeping it quiet since early Feb or so

Kill ratio is still higher than other reports.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:51

Doorknob Slobber: Sep 10, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

TOOT BOOT posted:

So what's happening in China lately? Are they actually getting over it or just hiding the extent of it now or ???

we need whoever got those traffic graphs for the commute to post the last couple days because china is quiet, too quiet.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:52

Dustcat: Jan 26, 2019

Mr.Pibbleton posted:

Sure, you're stocking up on basic necessities, but what about defending those supplies?

that's my toilet paper give it back you're a dog you won't even use it

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:52

Giga Gaia: May 2, 2006; 360 kickflip to... Meteo?!

TOOT BOOT posted:

So what's happening in China lately? Are they actually getting over it or just hiding the extent of it now or ???

theyre all dead

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:53

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

Mr.Pibbleton posted:

Dog went raider on me, demands I refer to him as "Perro Jefe" I'm going to go record my thoughts on this in an audio log.

This is some beautiful bean footage.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:53

Vishass: Feb 1, 2004

TOOT BOOT posted:

So what's happening in China lately? Are they actually getting over it or just hiding the extent of it now or ???

focus is off them now so they're covering that poo poo up

JK maybe... but also some study said household contact is driving spread so if you stop people from picking it up from people outside of the home by shutting cities down and barricading doors then the r0 will probably drop a bit

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:53

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

i havnt gone to costco yet also id ont know how to cook

what should i pick up

dont say beans beacuse you can only eat so many acns of beans in one day or you will die

trust me i watched steve1989's mre videos

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:55

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 13:33

Eat This Glob: Jan 14, 2008; God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

Vishass posted:

my wife's company is actually taking it seriously and is prepared to hit the "everyone telecommute" button the moment poo poo pops off

My job... just counted 4 people coughing within 20 feet of me while I was writing this

my wife's company is an emergency room in the northeast megalopolis. i know where I'm gonna get it from lol

# ? Feb 28, 2020 20:55

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

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