Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

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Atrocious Joe: Sep 2, 2011

North Korea is at least well positioned to deal with a global supply chain collapse

# ? Feb 28, 2020 22:52

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 3, 2024 13:47

BoldFace: Feb 28, 2011

Is the pope dead yet?

# ? Feb 28, 2020 22:54

PerniciousKnid: Sep 13, 2006

BONGHITZ posted:

the parking lot is crazy. I’m scared already

This is the Corona thread not the Jules Verne time traveler thread.

BoldFace posted:

Is the pope dead yet?

He died on Tuesday but he's back now.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 22:55

Rectal Death Adept: Jun 20, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Atrocious Joe posted:

North Korea is at least well positioned to deal with a global supply chain collapse

"For you this worldwide pandemic causing supply chain disruptions and mass starvation was a once in a lifetime event. For me it was Tuesday."

# ? Feb 28, 2020 22:57

Sharkie: Feb 4, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

BoldFace posted:

Is the pope dead yet?

no but he's currently in an anime gun battle with corona-chan while "knockin' on heaven's door" plays, so it's only a matter of time

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:00

The Alpha Centauri: Feb 15, 2019

BoldFace posted:

Is the pope dead yet?

does a bear poo poo in the woods

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:00

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

god ive been making GBS threads all day

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:02

amaru_chulla: Sep 3, 2019; by Nyc_Tattoo

Atrocious Joe posted:

North Korea is at least well positioned to deal with a global supply chain collapse

So is Cuba

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:03

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

SirPablo posted:

https://twitter.com/latimes/status/1233496128148164615?s=19

it's a good call, but imo they are ignoring that "everyone catches and spreads the plague to 10 other countries before dying mid-season" would get people to actually watch the show again

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:05

The Alpha Centauri: Feb 15, 2019

got like 2 and a half weeks until millions of drunks in every major city are puking and making GBS threads all over the streets

lol

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:05

Eat This Glob: Jan 14, 2008; God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

Atrocious Joe posted:

North Korea is at least well positioned to deal with a global supply chain collapse

finally...the juche is loose!

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:07

twoday: May 4, 2005; C-SPAM Times best-selling author

does the pope poo poo in the woods?

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:10

pancake rabbit: Feb 21, 2011

twoday posted:

does the pope poo poo in the woods?

then you better go catch it!

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:12

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

The Alpha Centauri posted:

got like 2 and a half weeks until millions of drunks in every major city are puking and making GBS threads all over the streets

lol

i live in seattle next to a busy bus stop that is adjacent to a college campus and four large hospitals

i can't wait to catch this 50 timees and see people dying outside my window

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:14

err: Apr 11, 2005; I carry my own weight no matter how heavy this shit gets...

The Alpha Centauri posted:

got like 2 and a half weeks until millions of drunks in every major city are puking and making GBS threads all over the streets

lol

Wait why

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:14

Stereotype: Apr 24, 2010; College Slice

Going back to WWZ (book) references, Cuba emerged as the new superpower because they were a self-sufficient island with a population that was used to communal effort.

They never figured out if NK was okay. The whole population moved underground and became mole people.

Also the US government relocated to Hawaii which would probably provide a boost to the value of my house!

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:15

my bony fealty: Oct 1, 2008

The Alpha Centauri posted:

got like 2 and a half weeks until millions of drunks in every major city are puking and making GBS threads all over the streets

lol

we got loads of homeless folks here that the city gov pretends dont exist gonna be real hosed up when corona sweeps the camps

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:16

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

PerniciousKnid posted:

This is the Corona thread not the Jules Verne time traveler thread.

He died on Tuesday but he's back now.

sad about not living in the food of the gods universe

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:16

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

err posted:

Wait why

leprechauns

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:16

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

err posted:

Wait why

that's around when the inevitability of a sanders presidency becomes apparent to the libs

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:17

Schmeichy: Apr 22, 2007; 2spooky4u; Smellrose

err posted:

Wait why

St Patrick's.

Also the light cold I've had for a week or so has decided to get worse (no fever though), but I've been taking a lot of public transportation lately so :tinfoil:

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:18

Eat This Glob: Jan 14, 2008; God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

im near the epicenter of plastic paddydom and i forgot that st Patrick's daybis coming lol. that's gonna rule

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:23

Spergin Morlock: Aug 8, 2009

U-DO Burger posted:

i live in seattle next to a busy bus stop that is adjacent to a college campus and four large hospitals

i can't wait to catch this 50 timees and see people dying outside my window

My posse's on Broadway

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:24

Doorknob Slobber: Sep 10, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

quote:

Good afternoon SD families,

We want to follow up on an email sent earlier this month in which we provided families health tip reminders and information about a respiratory illness caused by a new coronavirus known as COVID-19.

Since our last communication with you, the virus has spread to a growing number of countries.

The Washington State Department of Health (DOH) continues to report that the immediate risk to the general public statewide is low. There also is no evidence at this time, health officials report, that the new coronavirus is spreading in Washington state.

We understand that its continued spread to new regions around the world and heightened media attention is concerning. We want to assure you that the District is continuing to closely monitor this situation. The district is also communicating with state and local health officials, as well as the Office of the Superintendent of Public Instruction, and will continue to follow their professional guidance. As we learn new information, we will continue to provide you with updates.

Contingency planning underway
Our district is also engaging in contingency planning in the event the virus spreads to our area and, more specifically, our schools. As with other infectious diseases, we work closely with state and local health officials on how to respond to any potential illness outbreaks, including the possibility for school closures. We will continue this ongoing communication with health professionals and update our contingency plans as necessary.

As we mentioned in our earlier email communication, while the virus originated in China in December 2019, COVID-19 is not connected to race, ethnicity or nationality. In a letter sent this week to school superintendents, state Superintendent of Public Instruction Chris Reykdal wrote, �Stigma will not help to fight the illness.� Sharing accurate information during a time of heightened concern is one of the best things we can do collectively to keep rumors and misinformation from spreading.

Health tips
There are steps people can take to reduce their risk of getting and spreading any viral respiratory infections. We encourage you to share these tips with your family members, and our staff will be encouraged to reinforce them at school.

Health tips include:
Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. Use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer that contains at least 60% alcohol if soap and water are not available.;
Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth with unwashed hands.;
Avoid close contact with people who are sick.;
Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when you cough or sneeze, then throw the tissue in the trash and wash your hands.;
Clean and disinfect objects and surfaces.;
Stay at home and away from others if you are feeling ill.;
For your convenience, we have attached a one-page handout from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that illustrates, with pictures, how to stop the spread of germs.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:30

Atrocious Joe: Sep 2, 2011

Stereotype posted:

Going back to WWZ (book) references, Cuba emerged as the new superpower because they were a self-sufficient island with a population that was used to communal effort.

They never figured out if NK was okay. The whole population moved underground and became mole people.

Also the US government relocated to Hawaii which would probably provide a boost to the value of my house!

In WWZ the gusanos return to the island and take power though

their new small businesses provide jobs for all cubans and refugees that can make it to the island

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:32

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

https://twitter.com/AliceOllstein/status/1233519342710611968

:stare:

Well, that explains the virus plane.

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:38

angerbot: Mar 23, 2004; plob

Schnorkles up to his old tricks

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:39

rump buttman: Feb 14, 2018; I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili

The Alpha Centauri posted:

got like 2 and a half weeks until millions of drunks in every major city are puking and making GBS threads all over the streets

Eat This Glob posted:

finally...the juche is loose!

lol

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:39

CodeJanitor: Mar 30, 2005; I still can't think of anything to say.

Three Olives posted:

https://twitter.com/AliceOllstein/status/1233519342710611968

Well, that explains the virus plane.

Reminder that the entire republican party, which is in charge of everything, is filled with people that want to usher in the end times and kill off all humanity to bring jesus back.

I am sure everything will be just fine.

Remember: Don't Test, Don't Tell

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:40

Wiggly Wayne DDS: Sep 11, 2010

nothing to worry about
https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1233472214600749056

https://twitter.com/denis_campbell/status/1233431006562091008
don't worry their wife is also a gp

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:40

err: Apr 11, 2005; I carry my own weight no matter how heavy this shit gets...

Second community case in California :stare:

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:41

Doc Walrus: Jan 2, 2014; Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.; Nap Ghost

Three Olives posted:

https://twitter.com/AliceOllstein/status/1233519342710611968

Well, that explains the virus plane.

Thank loving god he's lying. This statement wasn't meant to mean anything except "My handling of the AIDS outbreak was not an absolute disaster".

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:41

Doc Walrus: Jan 2, 2014; Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.; Nap Ghost

CodeJanitor posted:

Reminder that the entire republican party, which is in charge of everything, is filled with people that want to usher in the end times and kill off all humanity to bring jesus back.

I am sure everything will be just fine.

Remember: Don't Test, Don't Tell

This is still true tho

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:42

Lote: Aug 5, 2001; Place your bets

https://twitter.com/faizsays/status/1233522079741272064?s=21

It�s happening

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:44

Crusader: Apr 11, 2002

Wiggly Wayne DDS posted:

nothing to worry about
https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1233472214600749056

the article: https://www.propublica.org/article/cdc-coronavirus-covid-19-test

quote:

In New York, scientists at both the city�s and state�s laboratories have seen false positives even when following the CDC�s latest directions, according to a person familiar with their discussions.

�Testing for coronavirus is not available yet in New York City,� city Department of Health spokeswoman Stephanie Buhle said in an email late Thursday. �The kits that were sent to us have demonstrated performance issues and cannot be relied upon to provide an accurate result.�

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:44

kopasetic: Sep 18, 2009

a second community acquired case of coronavirus has hit california

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:47

Dustcat: Jan 26, 2019

Doc Walrus posted:

Thank loving god he's lying. This statement wasn't meant to mean anything except "My handling of the AIDS outbreak was not an absolute disaster".

you may be overly optimistic

there's a good chance he's genuinely planning to wield the weapon of god against His enemies

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:49

Homeless Friend: Jul 16, 2007

no transmission, no transmission, you're the transmission

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:49

Doorknob Slobber: Sep 10, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

CodeJanitor posted:

Reminder that the entire republican party, which is in charge of everything, is filled with people that want to usher in the end times and kill off all humanity to bring jesus back.

I am sure everything will be just fine.

Remember: Don't Test, Don't Tell

what they fail to understand is that bernie is jesus and they're going to hell

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:50

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 13:47

Doorknob Slobber: Sep 10, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Lote posted:

https://twitter.com/faizsays/status/1233522079741272064?s=21

It�s happening

means there are probably 100s if not 1000s of people running around with it

# ? Feb 28, 2020 23:51

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2020 - START MAKING VENTILATORS, NOW!!!!!!

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