March 2020 Current Events Thread: The revolution lives on

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > March 2020 Current Events Thread: The revolution lives on

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Patware: Jan 3, 2005

oh, you mean nobility?

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:09

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# ? May 24, 2024 06:54

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Milo and POTUS posted:

James Lipton died

I would have to say...gently caress.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:09

KirbyKhan: Mar 20, 2009; Soiled Meat

Hyrax Attack! posted:

Don’t worry about vaccine availability, our plutocrats are already itching to jump the line
https://mobile.twitter.com/business/status/1234522880773361664

For the paywall:

quote posted:

One investor may fly to Idaho with or without family. A doctor in a Colorado ski town is soothing wealthy clients who want a cure. And one New Yorker called up the hospital with his name on it.

Like everyone across the U.S., the rich are bracing for a deadly coronavirus outbreak. Ken Langone, the co-founder of Home Depot Inc., watched President Donald Trump’s press conference and wondered if the media was overplaying the risk -- but he also made two well-placed phone calls from his winter outpost in North Palm Beach.

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One was to a top executive of NYU Langone Health, and the other was to a top scientist there. Both were reassuring.

“What I’ve been told by people who are smarter than me in disease is, ‘As of right now it’s a bad flu,’” said Langone, an 84-year-old who loves capitalism so much that he wrote a book called “I Love Capitalism!” He plans to come back to New York this month for an appointment. If he happens to feel sick, he will go to NYU Langone, and said he’d expect no special treatment.

Some billionaires, bankers and other members of the U.S. elite are calm, others are getting anxious and everyone is washing their hands. But the rich can afford to prepare for a pandemic with perquisites, like private plane rides out of town, calls with world-leading experts and access to luxurious medical care.

“It’s been a full-on war-room situation over here,” said Jordan Shlain, an internist and managing partner of Private Medical, a high-end concierge service. The company is procuring hundreds of full-body coverings for work that includes visits in San Francisco, Silicon Valley, Los Angeles and New York. “We have to beg, borrow or steal. Well, not steal -- beg, borrow and pay.”

Just Asking
Tim Kruse, a doctor who makes house calls in Aspen, Colorado, said “the wealthy aren’t going to necessarily have access to things that the common person is not going to have access to.” But that hasn’t stopped them from asking if they can get their hands on a coronavirus vaccine. “The answer is no. They just want to know.”

Confirmed coronavirus cases worldwide have passed 88,000, and more than 2,900 people have died. The World Health Organization raised its global risk assessment for the illness to “very high.” Fear over the economic fallout has upended global markets, plunging Treasury yields to all-time lows and giving the S&P 500 index its worst week since the 2008 financial crisis.

One co-founder of a major hedge fund, who asked not to be named discussing his plans, said he’d run in the other direction if his peers start fleeing into doomsday bunkers. He might fly to a house he has in Italy, a country that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention advises Americans to avoid. Widespread panic, he added, would only make plane tickets cheaper.

Charles Stevenson, an investor who was the longtime board president at a Park Avenue co-op that’s home to several billionaires, has been staying in Southampton.

“I don’t feel concerned at the moment -- it’s not near me right now,” Stevenson said. “If people in the village have coronavirus, I’d get out of here.” He’d fly to Idaho and close himself off in a cabin, he said, and his family could join him if they wanted. “That becomes a personal choice of theirs.”

Wealthy couples who aren’t used to actually spending time together are in for trouble, according to Mitchell Moss, who studies urban policy and planning at New York University.

“This is going to destroy the marriages of the rich,” said Moss. “All these husbands and wives who travel will now have to spend time with the person they’re married to.”

Davos Nightmare
Trump has predicted the virus will disappear “like a miracle,” while Democrats outlined demands for funding that include a guarantee of an affordable vaccine. Face masks don’t effectively prevent the public from catching coronavirus, according to U.S. Surgeon General Jerome Adams, though health-care providers are at risk if they can’t get them. “Seriously people,” Adams wrote on Twitter, “STOP BUYING MASKS!”

Jewel Mullen, associate dean for health equity at the University of Texas at Austin’s Dell Medical School, said millions of Americans can’t afford to stock up on supplies, miss work or have a steady doctor to call for advice -- even on a good day.

“Resources like money and transportation and information give people head starts on protective and preventive measures, and can help create more comfortable scenarios for people to cope with disasters,” said Mullen, an internist and epidemiologist who was commissioner of Connecticut’s Department of Public Health. “That’s where you really get to see disparate needs.”

JPMorgan Chase & Co., the biggest bank in the U.S., stopped employees from going on any inessential business trips. It joined a string of other corporate giants in restricting travel, splitting up teams and traders to different locations, or quarantining staff. Jamie Dimon, the bank’s chief executive officer, said not long before the announcement that he had dreamed he and other billionaires contracted the virus during January’s World Economic Forum in Switzerland.

“I had this nightmare that somehow in Davos, all of us who went there got it, and then we all left and spread it,” Dimon said during the bank’s annual investor day. “The only good news from that is that it might have just killed the elite.” His audience chuckled.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:10

Woofer: Mar 2, 2020

Investors love poo poo like the coronavirus. Just because the market is trending down (or has been) doesn�t mean people aren�t getting stupid loving rich. Just look at literally everything that�s ever happened. The US became the richest nation ever after a world war.

So getting rich off a crisis is probably one of the most patriotic things you can do.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:12

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Defenestrategy posted:

Is this actually a thing where rich people actually hate each other and just marry off to each other for status' sake. That seems hilarious.

I have personally witnessed it.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:13

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Defenestrategy posted:

Is this actually a thing where rich people actually hate each other and just marry off to each other for status' sake. That seems hilarious.

One or both partners in a relationship retiring is a common catalyst for divorces. People who can't stand being around each other can stay married for a long time by spending more time working than being around each other.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:15

Defenestrategy: Oct 24, 2010

Man it seems money does break your brain. You have a crap ton of money, so you could buy stylists, nutritionists, therapists, etc, etc but you can't leverage all of that poo poo going for you to find someone you wouldn't mind spending a large portion of your time together with.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:18

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

I saw this, now you have to.

Sorry, I don't make the rules.

https://twitter.com/greg_price11/status/1234568181651562497?s=19

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:19

Kazinsal: Dec 13, 2011

Defenestrategy posted:

Man it seems money does break your brain. You have a crap ton of money, so you could buy stylists, nutritionists, therapists, etc, etc but you can't leverage all of that poo poo going for you to find someone you wouldn't mind spending a large portion of your time together with.

Of course they wouldn't. If a rich person wants affection they'll just buy someone.

Wealth is a poison.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:20

Woofer: Mar 2, 2020

I have a conspiracy theory that Beyonc� and Jay-Z got married for the economic power of being a billionaire couple.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:21

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

https://twitter.com/tommchenry/status/1232892543844724736?s=20

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:21

BigDave: Jul 14, 2009; Taste the High Country

Defenestrategy posted:

Is this actually a thing where rich people actually hate each other and just marry off to each other for status' sake. That seems hilarious.

Yes and sometimes they play sexy murder games.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:32

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Defenestrategy posted:

Man it seems money does break your brain. You have a crap ton of money, so you could buy stylists, nutritionists, therapists, etc, etc but you can't leverage all of that poo poo going for you to find someone you wouldn't mind spending a large portion of your time together with.

They can find someone, the problem is they don't stay 15 forever.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:36

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

Best Friends posted:

I'm old as hell but I do remember when south Park's brilliant takedown of Al Gore's crazy 'global warming' hysteria was a huge thing on right wing blogs and with mainstream conservatives. Also their puppet movie had a whole major plot point about how stupid it was to be against the Iraq war. They don't have that much influence now because no one under 30 watches them anymore but they sure seemed to be a cultural force way back

Have you seen season 22 because they've basically gone full tankie and it is wonderful

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:46

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1234569185885380608?s=20

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:48

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

lol the Dow is up ~1K because Wall Street thinks that the federal reserve and others around the world are going to do rate cuts / rescues

just lol

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:50

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

Woofer posted:

Investors love poo poo like the coronavirus. Just because the market is trending down (or has been) doesn�t mean people aren�t getting stupid loving rich. Just look at literally everything that�s ever happened. The US became the richest nation ever after a world war.

So getting rich off a crisis is probably one of the most patriotic things you can do.

Is there a point you're trying to make or?

edit: Whose alt are you?

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:52

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

Woofer posted:

Investors love poo poo like the coronavirus. Just because the market is trending down (or has been) doesn’t mean people aren’t getting stupid loving rich. Just look at literally everything that’s ever happened. The US became the richest nation ever after a world war.

So getting rich off a crisis is probably one of the most patriotic things you can do.

Historically, widespread plagues are one of the most effective conditions to shift power to the laboring classes.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:52

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

The rate is 1.75%. What the gently caress are they gonna do, cut it to negative, print money, and bail everybodhahahahaha I almost finished that sentence of course that's what they'll do.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:53

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

shame on an IGA posted:

Historically, widespread plagues are one of the most effective conditions to shift power to the laboring classes.

Is that because the ruling class tend towards being older/frailer?

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:54

Woofer: Mar 2, 2020

Kawasaki Nun posted:

Is there a point you're trying to make or?

edit: Whose alt are you?

I didn�t know every post had to make some grand point. I will note this for the future though.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:54

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Is that because the ruling class tend towards being older/frailer?

The market value of pesants spikes when there's a supply bottleneck

# ? Mar 2, 2020 21:59

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

EBB posted:

The rate is 1.75%. What the gently caress are they gonna do, cut it to negative, print money, and bail everybodhahahahaha I almost finished that sentence of course that's what they'll do.

They're gonna bounce a dead cat.

https://twitter.com/damianpaletta/status/1234585097187229696?s=19

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:08

Flying_Crab: Apr 12, 2002

https://twitter.com/thestalwart/status/1234570014629470209?s=21

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:14

dubzee: Oct 23, 2008

EBB posted:

The rate is 1.75%. What the gently caress are they gonna do, cut it to negative, print money, and bail everybodhahahahaha I almost finished that sentence of course that's what they'll do.

The 10 year Treasury bond is sitting below 1.5% atm, the lowest rate ever. People are giving the Govt free money because a miniscule return is better than a loss. https://www.cnbc.com/quotes/?symbol=US10Y

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:25

Slim Pickens: Jan 12, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Flying_Crab posted:

https://twitter.com/thestalwart/status/1234570014629470209?s=21

Seems like a good time to short them, then cash out on Wednesday when that poo poo crashes again :bernin:

Slim Pickens fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Mar 2, 2020

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:30

C.M. Kruger: Oct 28, 2013

https://twitter.com/mviser/status/1234560424768569344

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:37

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

They're finally forming the moderate voltron :ohdear:

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:43

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

Slim Pickens posted:

Seems like a good time to short them, then cash out on Wednesday when that poo poo crashes again

Robinhood is down today. So many peoples puts got hosed.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:45

Kawasaki Nun: Jul 16, 2001; by Reene

Woofer posted:

I didn�t know every post had to make some grand point. I will note this for the future though.

Nothing grand required, though something intelligible usually helps.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:45

Hyrax Attack!: Jan 13, 2009; We demand to be taken seriously

Flying_Crab posted:

https://twitter.com/thestalwart/status/1234570014629470209?s=21

This is evil as hell. Don�t worry, useless health insurance corps, your profits from misery are safe!

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:48

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

Bored As gently caress posted:

Robinhood is down today. So many peoples puts got hosed.

Someone in the economics doomsday thread asked what robinhood is, and got a reply of, "an app to turn poors into bagholders" and I gotta say, I agree.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:51

Bored As Fuck: Jan 1, 2006; Fun Shoe

CRUSTY MINGE posted:

Someone in the economics doomsday thread asked what robinhood is, and got a reply of, "an app to turn poors into bagholders" and I gotta say, I agree.

That hasn't been my experience so far. Unfortunately. Should've bought SPY puts a couple weeks ago.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:57

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

It's great when robinhood fucks up though, which is surprisingly often.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 22:59

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Kawasaki Nun posted:

Nothing grand required, though something intelligible usually helps.

Can you please start rating every post tia

# ? Mar 2, 2020 23:01

Woofer: Mar 2, 2020

Kawasaki Nun posted:

Nothing grand required, though something intelligible usually helps.

Why do you care though

# ? Mar 2, 2020 23:02

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

Welp, the people here are dumb as hell too. The Safeway near me was sold out of half gallons of whole milk. Had to buy 2%, boooo, I want my fat.

Everything else looked fine. Plenty of rear end paper, rice, beans, bread, etc. Either the panic buyers didn't see my hidden Safeway or they're plenty stocked from the big box stores.

loving 60 count of AA batteries for $15. I'm set for xbox controller batteries for the next year.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 23:23

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

Jesus christ let this man go home and have a blankie and some warm milk and pet a good dogge already

https://twitter.com/BethLynch2020/s...ingawful.com%2F

# ? Mar 2, 2020 23:38

PookBear: Nov 1, 2008

Woofer posted:

Investors love poo poo like the coronavirus. Just because the market is trending down (or has been) doesn�t mean people aren�t getting stupid loving rich. Just look at literally everything that�s ever happened. The US became the richest nation ever after a world war.

So getting rich off a crisis is probably one of the most patriotic things you can do.

the only people that can invest during an economic downturn are the rich.

# ? Mar 2, 2020 23:47

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# ? May 24, 2024 06:54

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Monty/Lando 2020

Get Borksit Done

# ? Mar 2, 2020 23:55

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > March 2020 Current Events Thread: The revolution lives on

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