r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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Barudak: May 7, 2007

OhAreThey posted:

I'm interested in seeing what that would look like for Brits, Swedes, etc.

The NHS has similar data, but I don't think anybody has made a lovely chart.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 17:02

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# ? May 31, 2024 04:32

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

OhAreThey posted:

I'm interested in seeing what that would look like for Brits, Swedes, etc.

It hits 73.85 in the third decile and skyrockets from there.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 17:15

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

The Bramble posted:

*views skull drawings and prepares to deliver artistic critique on the subject, execution, and artist themselves*

"I think the skulls should smile more."

r/relationships: my girlfriend (351F) never smiles, would it be discriminatory to break up with her because she's a skeleton?

# ? Mar 4, 2020 17:17

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Here's the weirdest thing you'll read today.

My supervisor allowed one of my clients to sign-off a loan in his neighbor's name. How should I speak to my supervisor about this without getting fired from his intentional error?

quote:

I (36M) work at a loan agency and had to deal with an interesting client (32M), which unknowingly involves his neighbor (87M). I'm going to use the dialogue from the good parts, but you will see what problem I'm currently facing with my supervisor (41M) as well.

Me: Hi, I'm Neal.

Client: What's going on Bill.

Me: It's Neal. What's your name, sir?

Client: Always.

Me: Always, okay.

Client: What's cracking?

Me: Just busy working.

Client: Haha, I don't know much about that though.

Me: So, what are you interested in doing today?

Client: I'm just trying to get a loan because uh, what happened was, I was up front and I see the dude Tony.

Me: Right.

Client: He said he saw me rapping and told me he gives people money and I said, "Yo dawg, I need some money." So, that's why I'm here.

Me: Well, that's what we do. I'm just going to ask a few questions if you dont mind. What is your full name?

Client: Always. A-l-w-a-y-s.

Me: No last name?

Client: Yeah.

Me: Okay.

Client: (Tells me his last name, which is just as obscure as his first name. He's white by the way).

Me: Alright, what's your cell phone number?

Client: I don't got one.

Me: What's your home phone number?

Client: I don't got one. I use the payphone over at the WaWa.

Me: Are you working?

Client: Well, here's what happened. I was working, but I'm on release right now. So, like I'm on a work release program, but I haven't showed up in a few days, so they kind of looking for me you could say.

Me: Do you own a home?

Client: Nah.

Me: Okay, well we can only refinance people who own a home.

Client: Oh, so that's what's up.

Me: Yeah, that's the deal. I mean you have to own a home in order to get our refinance plan.

Client: (Looks around and begins talking quieter). I'm trying to keep this on the low. (Pulls out a crumbled piece of paper). This my neighbor, John, right. He 87 years old.

Me: Okay.

Client: So, what I was thinking was. We put the loan in his name and don't say nothing about it, cause he ain't never going to know about it. You know what I'm saying? Check this out. Two years ago, I stole his car and he didn't notice it was missing for six months.

Me: Well, we can't do anything that's illegal and just write up something in his name.

Client: I'm gonna pay each month though, so it's not illegal. I figured it out. If I payed the bill, it's not stealing or none of that.

Me: Yeah, but he has to sign all of the paperwork.

Client: He 87 dawg, he can barely even walk.

Me: Well, unfortunately there's nothing I can really do. You're just putting a loan in somebody else's name and then saying that you're going to pay the bill.

Client: I'm gonna pay the bill. Straight up man. I swear.

Me: I believe you, but it's against the law.

Client: Let me use the bathroom, gather my thoughts real quick and we'll dig a plan B. I'll be right back.

Me: There is no plan B.

Client: What do you mean there is no plan B?

Me: Sir, you have to own a home.

Client: I told you, I live with my grandma.

Me: Okay, well you didn't tell me that, but will she sign the paperwork then?

Client: Probably, give me five minutes, I'll find out right now.

At this point he walked out and my advisor walked in and I told him the entire thing, which basically was that he was ineligible for any sort of loan. Then, Always walks back in. He tells my advisor everything he told me and apparently since my advisor promised him a loan before our meeting, he agreed to sign the paperwork off in his 87 year old neighbor's name. I took my advisor to the side and told him that he can't do that because it's illegal. My advisor didn't listen though and had faith that Always would pay the bill. Just a crazy day at the office.

TL;DR: My client was completely ineligible for a loan, but my supervisor went against the grain and signed one off in the client's neighbor's name, without the neighbor even knowing.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 17:22

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

The Bramble posted:

Here's the weirdest thing you'll read today.

My supervisor allowed one of my clients to sign-off a loan in his neighbor's name. How should I speak to my supervisor about this without getting fired from his intentional error?

This is so fake it has to be true.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 17:25

D34THROW: Jan 29, 2012; RETAIL RETAIL LISTEN TO ME BITCH ABOUT RETAIL

The Bramble posted:

Here's the weirdest thing you'll read today.

My supervisor allowed one of my clients to sign-off a loan in his neighbor's name. How should I speak to my supervisor about this without getting fired from his intentional error?

Why the gently caress is getting his boss fired not an option? That's probably criminal-charge poo poo right there.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 17:34

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

D34THROW posted:

Why the gently caress is getting his boss fired not an option? That's probably criminal-charge poo poo right there.

Per the comments, boss owns the company. Criminal charges are basically the only option.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 17:35

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

The Bramble posted:

Here's the weirdest thing you'll read today.

My supervisor allowed one of my clients to sign-off a loan in his neighbor's name. How should I speak to my supervisor about this without getting fired from his intentional error?

Has this been zapped? I need to see his replies.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 17:54

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Tesseraction posted:

Has this been zapped? I need to see his replies.

He deleted his account so even those are gone.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 17:57

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for getting angry at my husband for continuing a behavior that might get us kicked out?

quote:

Sorry for lame title.

Husband and I live in a city that has an insanely tight rental market. Finding a place that's affordable, nice, and available when you want to move in is like winning the lottery, and you're generally competing with like 12 other people to get it. After months and months of searching, we finally found an apartment, shelled out a bunch of money for first, last, and deposit, and moved in. It's fantastic, I couldn't be happier with the apartment, but there's one issue (in my opinion, at least) that could ruin it.

Our new apartment is in a triplex, with the landlords living in one of the units. When we toured the building, they mentioned that they don't allow smoking of any kind on the property. Both my husband and I smoke cigarettes and he is a heavy weed smoker, so I figured that this place was a no-go after that. But he really liked the place, and assured me that he would go take a walk whenever he wanted to smoke and that it wouldn't be an issue. It didn't take much convincing, because I really liked it too, and just wanted to find somewhere to live. So we signed the lease, and I took the move as a sign that it was time to quit (currently at 1 week completely smoke free!).

It's not been going well for him, though. We haven't even been here a full month, and already gotten a note from the landlord "reminding" us of the no smoking clause in the lease. As a side note, he's sure that they smelled our scented candles and thinking that we're using that to cover up smoking, which seems pretty farfetched but I guess anything is possible. I've walked out to the driveway and caught him smoking there at least 3 times now. Each time, I've reminded him of the lease *which he agreed to and told me not to worry about even though this was the exact thing I was worried about* and he says he won't do it again. And yet here we are.

I walked outside tonight and sure enough, he was smoking right next to the garage. I kind of lost it at that point. I just turned around and walked back inside without saying anything, and when he came behind me to apologize, I told him it didn't matter because we had just had this exact same argument not even two days ago, and nothing has changed. I told him that it makes me feel like he doesn't listen to me or respect me at all. I told him that I'm scared that his bad choices are going to result in us both losing our home. He said he was sorry and made a mistake, but "wouldn't be made to feel like a fuckup and an rear end in a top hat for smoking in his own driveway". We're currently not talking to each other until things cool off a bit. I'm still feeling incredibly pissed and frustrated with him, but I don't know if my reaction is justified or out of proportion for the situation. Not sure if I'm being overly anxious or reasonably worried. AITA?

# ? Mar 4, 2020 18:05

Bobulus: Jan 28, 2007

I'm not a smoker, so I'm out of the loop. Would landlords actually care about you smoking on the property but outside? The smell and stains aren't an issue out there. I guess he could care about cigarette butts on the ground, but ideally if this is a once-in-a-while thing, you could remember to dispose of them.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 18:19

AngryRobotsInc: Aug 2, 2011

Bobulus posted:

I'm not a smoker, so I'm out of the loop. Would landlords actually care about you smoking on the property but outside? The smell and stains aren't an issue out there. I guess he could care about cigarette butts on the ground, but ideally if this is a once-in-a-while thing, you could remember to dispose of them.

If they care enough to have it in the lease, it's best just not to chance finding out if they care enough to enforce it. An apartment complex I lived in smoking wasn't allowed inside or in certain parts of the complex. But it really wasn't hard to just smoke on your patio, where it was allowed, or to go to one of the areas where it was allowed if you were elsewhere on the property.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 18:26

toplitzin: Jun 13, 2003

Bobulus posted:

I'm not a smoker, so I'm out of the loop. Would landlords actually care about you smoking on the property but outside? The smell and stains aren't an issue out there. I guess he could care about cigarette butts on the ground, but ideally if this is a once-in-a-while thing, you could remember to dispose of them.

Smoking outside doesn't leave the smoke smell outside when you come back inside.
Everything he touches/sits on will reek.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 18:26

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Bobulus posted:

I'm not a smoker, so I'm out of the loop. Would landlords actually care about you smoking on the property but outside? The smell and stains aren't an issue out there. I guess he could care about cigarette butts on the ground, but ideally if this is a once-in-a-while thing, you could remember to dispose of them.

A lot of people don't like the smoke around in general. This is without commenting or whether or not that's a reasonable thing for a leasing agreement.

Anyway, lol if you believe a regular smoker saying some poo poo like "I'll take a walk every time I do it".

# ? Mar 4, 2020 18:28

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Bobulus posted:

I'm not a smoker, so I'm out of the loop. Would landlords actually care about you smoking on the property but outside? The smell and stains aren't an issue out there. I guess he could care about cigarette butts on the ground, but ideally if this is a once-in-a-while thing, you could remember to dispose of them.

it's a little unreasonable to ban smoking entirely on the property, but it is legal to include that as a clause on a lease, and it is extremely stupid to routinely violate your lease when your landlord is also your neighbor

probably the landlords just have a big problem with smoking of any kind, maybe for good reasons, maybe not. really bad idea to stick your hand on that oven to see how hot it is though!

# ? Mar 4, 2020 18:35

D34THROW: Jan 29, 2012; RETAIL RETAIL LISTEN TO ME BITCH ABOUT RETAIL

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for getting angry at my husband for continuing a behavior that might get us kicked out?

It's not "your own" driveway, it's the landlord's driveway and "no smoking on the property" means no smoking on the loving property. Do I agree with the landlord, no, but I don't think the wife is out of line.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 18:36

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My coworker (44M) who I view as a father just confessed his attraction to me (22F)

quote:

As the title said, I had a very father/daughter dynamic with this man for the past year of working together. He knows that I view him as a father, especially because he reminds me of my actual dad. Over the past week he's been acting very weird towards me, but I assumed issues outside of work were effecting him.

There were a few middle aged men at work who had relationships with the college students where we work, and we would joke about how nasty those relationships are. Then, yesterday, he said he needed to talk to me in private and then he confesses his attraction to me. I was taken aback and feel betrayed. He made it seem like it was "our" problem, but I really think it's just his. I'm confused by his sudden switch from "work dad" who wanted to protect the younger ones from the gross men to becoming one of them himself.

I do not want to go to HR about it, because I don't think he'll make any more advances after I firmly told him "no", and because he does have kids to support. What I'm looking for is advice on how to establish boundaries at work so that he doesn't misinterpret politeness for attraction.

EDIT- my workspace is small, and the other coworkers are two of my close friends who were hired around the same time as me. Since the three of us had an established dynamic it wasn't hard to just add him into it. Now I don't know how to create a distant and polite co-worker workplace dynamic since we never had one in the first place.

tl;dr: I don't know how to continue a normal work relationship with him, and am not sure how to handle this sudden shift in dynamic.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 18:42

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Smirking_Serpent posted:

What I'm looking for is advice on how to establish boundaries at work so that he doesn't misinterpret politeness for attraction.

i'm not sure at all that any young woman can thread that needle. unless you emit resting bitch waves, horny old men are going to interpret any sort of slightly positive interaction as attraction. you can only hope that the old men can keep their own horny contained

# ? Mar 4, 2020 18:45

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Smoking juuuuuust outside usually bothers the other people instead. We live in a brownstone in Brooklyn where the houses are all connected. Like this:

So our neighbor goes into his backyard to smoke, but stays close to the building. During the summer we like to keep the windows in our bedroom open, and the bedroom is at the back of the house on the second floor. So almost every morning around 6am from May to September we get to wake up to the smell of cigarette smoke because it somehow blows right back at the buildings but just a little to the right.

EDIT:

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My coworker (44M) who I view as a father just confessed his attraction to me (22F)

Ack, not even father figure, but father. After a year.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 18:52

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My coworker (44M) who I view as a father just confessed his attraction to me (22F)

This is all her fault. Clearly leading this man on with her daddy issues.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 19:05

causticBeet: Mar 2, 2010; BIG VINCE COMIN FOR YOU

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Smoking juuuuuust outside usually bothers the other people instead. We live in a brownstone in Brooklyn where the houses are all connected. Like this:

So our neighbor goes into his backyard to smoke, but stays close to the building. During the summer we like to keep the windows in our bedroom open, and the bedroom is at the back of the house on the second floor. So almost every morning around 6am from May to September we get to wake up to the smell of cigarette smoke because it somehow blows right back at the buildings but just a little to the right.

Ack, not even father figure, but father. After a year.

Sounds like you hosed you hosed up when you moved into an incredibly tight living situation

# ? Mar 4, 2020 19:06

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

causticBeet posted:

Sounds like you hosed you hosed up when you moved into an incredibly tight living situation

gently caress cigarettes

# ? Mar 4, 2020 19:28

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Smoking juuuuuust outside usually bothers the other people instead. We live in a brownstone in Brooklyn where the houses are all connected. Like this:

So our neighbor goes into his backyard to smoke, but stays close to the building. During the summer we like to keep the windows in our bedroom open, and the bedroom is at the back of the house on the second floor. So almost every morning around 6am from May to September we get to wake up to the smell of cigarette smoke because it somehow blows right back at the buildings but just a little to the right.

I have the same issue; my apartment bedroom is right above the door to the building and I get fumigated with pot smoke when folks think that's far enough to go before lighting up.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 19:38

20 Blunts: Jan 21, 2017

ive quit smoking at this point but also gently caress people who get a whiff of tobacco, not even lingering tobacco, and act like its just the worst thing ever. fuckity off

but then again ive lived this weird charmed life that currently has me living in a single family home w./ courtyard, literally near the geographic middle of a major city, and there a lot of space issue things ive somehow avoided

# ? Mar 4, 2020 19:38

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Yeah New York would be super comfortable if you could just like buy a whole building and open up the first five floors for communal fuckabout space. Fuckin space smaller than a hotel room costs as much as a house there smh.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 19:49

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for selectively charging admission to my children's birthday party?

quote:

I have boy/girl twins in the same class who are turning 7 this year. For their birthday, I found a birthday party package at what is basically an interactive children's museum that they love.

It's an amazing package, and an activity that they both love and are excited about. At $400, it's at the top of my budget, but it's all inclusive. The issue is that there can only be 10 kids, including them. Between stepsiblings and cousins that need to be invited, there are only 4 open spots for friends. School policy states that either all of the kids in a class must be invited, or all the kids of one gender. There are 20 kids in their class. It costs $20 a head for each additional kid, and there's a 20 kid maximum. There's no way to follow this rule that we could afford, and not everyone could attend if everyone said yes. $400 is the absolute most we can spend on a party.

We had to follow the rules, so I decided to pass out invites to all as required, but require a $20 entry fee on the invites for the families aside from the "chosen 4". I will text those parents about it if asked, but it hasn't come up yet. AITA?

Edit: I let each of my kids choose two friends because that's normal. If I was allowed to just invite the amount of kids I could afford, I wouldn't be doing this or have considered it.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 19:52

Bobulus: Jan 28, 2007

That's a weird-rear end school policy. My first suspicion is that the writer is somehow misunderstanding / misreporting it. How would the school even enforce that?

edit: a bunch of the comments are that these rules are only in place if you are having the kid hand out the invites at school. He could completely bypass the problem by just mailing them to the parents or just calling them on the phone.

Bobulus fucked around with this message at 20:10 on Mar 4, 2020

# ? Mar 4, 2020 19:58

RoboRodent: Sep 19, 2012

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my gf that her paintings are honestly not very good and super creepy?

The skull is actually pretty good. A little lopsided, but that's really just a lack of expertise. She has a patience for small details that I lack.

Every artist in the world draws like this at some point.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 19:59

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

I mean, all it takes to sell a piece of art is a willing buyer. Which isn't as easy as it sounds, but also doesn't mean skill is the only thing that matters (or even the main thing). Price 'em cheap enough as postcards or stickers, yeah you can absolutely sell those to some skull enthusiasts.

However, turning 'sold a few pieces of art' into a regular gig that you can actually count on to sustain you is another thing entirely.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 20:09 on Mar 4, 2020

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:05

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Bobulus posted:

That's a weird-rear end school policy. My first suspicion is that the writer is somehow misunderstanding / misreporting it. How would the school even enforce that?

They can enforce policy on school grounds/during school hours.

The policy probably exists so that a kid can't openly hand out invites to buddies in class making other kids feel left out.

The parent should have just given the invites directly to their kid's friend's parents instead of somehow involving the school.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:10

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

it's fun to hate and it's socially acceptable for left leaning people to hate smokers, people do what they can get away with

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:10

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Bobulus posted:

That's a weird-rear end school policy. My first suspicion is that the writer is somehow misunderstanding / misreporting it. How would the school even enforce that?

edit: a bunch of the comments are that these rules are only in place if you are having the kid hand out the invites at school. He could completely bypass the problem by just mailing them to the parents or just calling them on the phone.

yeah, my kid's school has the same policy. if you're going to distribute invites at the school then everyone gets an invite. otherwise contact the parents yourself without getting the school involved. i just made sure to adjust the cost for my kid's birthday downwards so we could afford a big party for all the kids. charging an entry fee is a pretty rear end in a top hat way to loophole around the problem

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:13

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

AITA for wanting to name my child after my ex?

quote:

To make this short and spare myself the tears, i�ll make this situation as fast as possible.

Backstory: During my college years, i found someone that i really loved. I really thought that i was gonna be getting married with her. I don�t want to go into details, but she passed away while we we together. It was the worst pain that i had ever felt.

Now, I�m a 24 year old guy, my fianc�e (24) is pregnant with our first child. She�s due in about 3 months and we�ve been trying to come up with names for our baby girl. I had an idea in mind the second i found out that she was pregnant. I tried not to tell her about it to avoid any problems, but as time went by, my fianc�e hadn�t approved of any name yet. Last night i told her if we could name our daughter (ex�s name) and she completely freaked out. She went on about how she would never name our daughter that and that her feelings meant nothing to me. I tried defending myself and said that our daughters name should mean something, which she got even more mad at. She said some insults and then locked the door to our room.

I tried apologizing, but i was ignored most of the time. I�m just curious, i don�t think i did anything wrong. AITA?

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:13

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

spacetoaster posted:

They can enforce policy on school grounds/during school hours.

The policy probably exists so that a kid can't openly hand out invites to buddies in class making other kids feel left out.

The parent should have just given the invites directly to their kid's friend's parents instead of somehow involving the school.

The OP says in the comments that even with private invitations, if the school finds out the kids will be punished for it. Reddit's crowing about how they could sue if that happens, but you need more than $400 to hire lawyers.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:15

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Licarn posted:

The OP says in the comments that even with private invitations, if the school finds out the kids will be punished for it.

the only possible way that this makes sense is that the OP misinterpreted school policy and is trying to save face by lying about it. unless it's some weirdo private school i don't see how the school would care about what happens at student birthday parties unrelated to school time or property

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:17

FormaldehydeSon: Oct 1, 2011

In a country where 3rd graders are regularly strip searched at school that really doesn't seem like such a wild rule for a board to come up with

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:19

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Licarn posted:

The OP says in the comments that even with private invitations, if the school finds out the kids will be punished for it.

That's crazy. Either the OP didn't read the actual policy, or is in some weird cult school.

A LOT of people never read policies, they just spout off whatever they heard someone else say about a policy as if it's fact.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:25

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

FormaldehydeSon posted:

In a country where 3rd graders are regularly strip searched at school that really doesn't seem like such a wild rule for a board to come up with

there might be a little bit of a difference with a school being able to police behavior on school property, versus off school property

this difference might be why the key point is if party invitations are distributed in the classroom or elsewhere via alternative, non-school channels

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:31

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for wanting to name my child after my ex?

Let our daughter be a tribute to my late partner. Why would there be anything wrong with that?

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:34

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# ? May 31, 2024 04:32

Blue Moonlight: Apr 28, 2005; Bitter and Sarcastic

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for wanting to name my child after my ex?

quote:

I tried not to tell her about it to avoid any problems, but as time went by, my fianc�e hadn�t approved of any name yet. Last night i told her if we could name our daughter (ex�s name) and she completely freaked out.

I love how he knew it would be poorly received, but just decided to go ahead and attempt to torpedo his entire relationship.

# ? Mar 4, 2020 20:57

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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