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snoo
Jul 5, 2007




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fibblins
Dec 21, 2007

party swan
when he's right

Plinkey
Aug 4, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Flavius Aetass posted:

situation:

went to take a poo poo at work, wiped the seat down, flushed the toilet, and sat down

the toilet won't stop flushing and it's splashing water on my parts. I don't want gross water and piss on me so I stand up a bit to let it finish

I then remember that I am currently pissing and look down to see it going all over my pants and shoes

please send help

Mr president please push the SS button next to the toilet

Avirosb
Nov 21, 2016

Everyone makes pisstakes

Happy Noodle Boy posted:

wow this guy’s a loving genius

How's he come up with those names?!

Mustached Demon
Nov 12, 2016


lmao

Flavius Aetass
Mar 30, 2011

Plinkey posted:

Mr president please push the SS button next to the toilet

I think i see the button but it's on my lapel??

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008





schnorkles offering a fist bump whilst wearing mittens

Sudden Loud Noise
Feb 18, 2007

Bethamphetamine posted:

Condoms are selling out because people are wearing them on their fingers to protect from coronavirus

Look, I tried buying gloves and finger guards but they don't fit my massive fingers.

snoo
Jul 5, 2007




Flavius Aetass posted:

situation:

went to take a poo poo at work, wiped the seat down, flushed the toilet, and sat down

the toilet won't stop flushing and it's splashing water on my parts. I don't want gross water and piss on me so I stand up a bit to let it finish

I then remember that I am currently pissing and look down to see it going all over my pants and shoes

please send help

:rip:

lumpentroll
Mar 4, 2020

snoo
Jul 5, 2007




Squizzle posted:

schnorkles offering a fist bump whilst wearing mittens

Plinkey
Aug 4, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Sudden Loud Noise posted:

Look, I tried buying gloves and finger guards but they don't fit my massive fingers.

Engine mittens?

Sudden Loud Noise
Feb 18, 2007

Plinkey posted:

Engine mittens?

They don't feel as good.

snoo
Jul 5, 2007




fisting schnorkles

LegoMan
Mar 17, 2002

ting ting ting

College Slice

LegoMan
Mar 17, 2002

ting ting ting

College Slice

Squizzle posted:

schnorkles offering a fist bump whilst wearing mittens

No that's schnorkles butt hth

tacodaemon
Nov 27, 2006



https://twitter.com/WSJ/status/1235426077608235010

Inspector Hound
Jul 14, 2003


Endorsement today or tomorrow

DryGoods
Apr 26, 2014

Dogs, on the other hand, can connect with that pathos.

Inspector Hound posted:

Endorsement today or tomorrow

who are you going to endorse?

i'll keep it a secret

Avirosb
Nov 21, 2016

Everyone makes pisstakes
https://twitter.com/TIME/status/1235590827034005507

Star Phlatulence
Jan 14, 2006

by Cyrano4747
Bleak Gremlin

:smugdog:

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



I wonder if Obama still feels like some kind of Sorkian behind the scenes mastermind when his scheming is so obvious that even Trump is just laying it all out for the world to see, and despite having an extreme case of Trump Brain, he's 100% correct

the milk machine
Jul 23, 2002

lick my keys

Flavius Aetass posted:

situation:

went to take a poo poo at work, wiped the seat down, flushed the toilet, and sat down

the toilet won't stop flushing and it's splashing water on my parts. I don't want gross water and piss on me so I stand up a bit to let it finish

I then remember that I am currently pissing and look down to see it going all over my pants and shoes

please send help

lmao

Happy Noodle Boy
Jul 3, 2002


Inspector Hound posted:

Endorsement today or tomorrow

Monday night before Michigan to ratfuck Bernie.

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



that Palmer Report lunatic seems to be having a normal one

petit choux
Feb 24, 2016


Now here's a guy everybody should listen to.

Augus
Mar 9, 2015


good thread title

Good soup!
Nov 2, 2010

Flavius Aetass posted:

situation:

went to take a poo poo at work, wiped the seat down, flushed the toilet, and sat down

the toilet won't stop flushing and it's splashing water on my parts. I don't want gross water and piss on me so I stand up a bit to let it finish

I then remember that I am currently pissing and look down to see it going all over my pants and shoes

please send help

hahahahahahaha

cargo cult
Aug 28, 2008

by Reene

Flavius Aetass posted:

situation:

went to take a poo poo at work, wiped the seat down, flushed the toilet, and sat down

the toilet won't stop flushing and it's splashing water on my parts. I don't want gross water and piss on me so I stand up a bit to let it finish

I then remember that I am currently pissing and look down to see it going all over my pants and shoes

please send help
lol

UnknownTarget
Sep 5, 2019

https://joebiden.info/

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde

DryGoods posted:

who are you going to endorse?

i'll keep it a secret
trump

ex post facho
Oct 25, 2007

Flavius Aetass posted:

situation:

went to take a poo poo at work, wiped the seat down, flushed the toilet, and sat down

the toilet won't stop flushing and it's splashing water on my parts. I don't want gross water and piss on me so I stand up a bit to let it finish

I then remember that I am currently pissing and look down to see it going all over my pants and shoes

please send help

take ur risperdal, liz

BeefThief
Aug 8, 2007

TEXT...JOE...3-0...3...3...0

Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008


Toilet Rascal

it is called a vagina.

cargo cult
Aug 28, 2008

by Reene

BeefThief posted:

TEXT...JOE...3-0...3...3...0
watch the declaration of independence one its way better

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

Sending good vibes to all this am. Hope things go your way

Zerg Mans
Oct 19, 2006


"Thing is, I know you're playing me... but you're right." - Vegeta, Dragonball Z Abridged

Zerg Mans
Oct 19, 2006


lmao

BeefThief
Aug 8, 2007

cargo cult posted:

watch the declaration of independence one its way better

I saw that happen live, and when he confused his wife and his sister. It's astonishing that even teump can see what's going on with the democrats man...he's gonna win again LOL

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CODChimera
Jan 29, 2009

dem candidates are dropping like flies

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