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*wearing Groucho Marx glasses* submit dick picks to Loquacious? A capital idea!
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Mar 10, 2020 13:58
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Rad-daddio posted:All i heard was that it was okay to send loquacious many gigabytes of dick pics. I’m more of a quality over quantity man, so I only send him the choicest, most carefully-selected dick pics.
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Mar 10, 2020 14:21
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No dick pics, thread rule 
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Mar 10, 2020 14:21
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loquacius posted:No, dick pics! thread rule!
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Mar 10, 2020 14:42
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loquacius posted:Thread rule? No, dick pics!
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Mar 10, 2020 15:09
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I'm gonna get real creative with my dick pic utilizing different angles and camera filters and stuff. An underneath behind the balls sepia shot is where my mind is right now. Something memorable, you know?
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Mar 10, 2020 15:14
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Solice Kirsk posted:I'm gonna get real creative with my dick pic utilizing different angles and camera filters and stuff. An underneath behind the balls sepia shot is where my mind is right now. Something memorable, you know? The sepia will give it that lovely old-timey look.
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Mar 10, 2020 15:22
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I'm thinkin that one snapchat filter that would turn my dick & balls into a woman. Ya know, something pretty.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:45
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loquacius posted:No dick pics, thread rule *exaggerated wink* Okay I totally won't send you many dick pics.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:49
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DandyLion posted:I'm thinkin that one snapchat filter that would turn my dick & balls into a woman. Ya know, something pretty. They should have a dating app extension that turns all of your unsolicited dick pics into a fun flip book animation.
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Mar 10, 2020 16:51
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Sjs00 posted:I remember there being a fesh about a guy who lived high up in an apartment and would just look through a sniper rifle scope across the street at a woman and fantasize about killing her. And then he got with her in the very room he would point his rifle at her. I recall there was some sort of road rage goon that would run in to people, follow them etc..... But they didn't mention having a gun. Everyone else said that one day they're going to road rage on someone that does have a gun and get a cap busted in their rear end. Wonder how that person's doing?
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Mar 10, 2020 21:46
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I remember the goon who confessed to killing a dog with his car and ditching the body and it was the maddest I have ever been at words on a screen on SomethingAwful.com
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Mar 11, 2020 03:22
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I don't remember that one. Personally my greatest hits are: 1. Guy who decided to gently caress his therapist 2. Goon who got his boss fired and then dated her (I think he got her fired. Maybe he just confronted her and then they started dating and she was really into anime?) 3. Goon who wrote like a 10 page love letter to his buddy's girlfriend (that's the only thing I remember about it, but I think it went on for a few weeks and all culminated in him deciding to do that) 4. Bug Dream World I'm just a sucker for good ol' fashioned twisted love stories. And giant bug warrior coma dreams (obviously).
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Mar 11, 2020 04:01
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Solice Kirsk posted:I don't remember that one. Personally my greatest hits are: I've heard about these two before but haven't read them myself, got any links to the first posts?
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Mar 11, 2020 04:36
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therattle posted:The sepia will give it that lovely old-timey look. Also the huge afro bush pubes
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Mar 11, 2020 04:39
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McSpanky posted:I've heard about these two before but haven't read them myself, got any links to the first posts? Oooof. They're from like 5 years ago. Let me see....
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Mar 11, 2020 04:40
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Solice Kirsk posted:I don't remember that one. Personally my greatest hits are: I think my fave is still GET REAL BEEFY BITCH.
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Mar 11, 2020 06:19
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loquacius posted:No dick pics, thread rule It says no dick pics so it's ok to send him just one.
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Mar 11, 2020 10:20
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Atlas Hugged posted:It says no dick pics so it's ok to send him just one.
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Mar 11, 2020 10:27
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The guy who started boning his hot co worker and left his wife and kids was pretty good, though we were all hoping poo poo would blow the gently caress up in to a drama bomb.
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Mar 11, 2020 11:50
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wesleywillis posted:The guy who started boning his hot co worker and left his wife and kids was pretty good, though we were all hoping poo poo would blow the gently caress up in to a drama bomb. My hero.
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Mar 11, 2020 14:46
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wesleywillis posted:The guy who started boning his hot co worker and left his wife and kids was pretty good, though we were all hoping poo poo would blow the gently caress up in to a drama bomb. Same. I figured the confession was fake, but it fizzled out in the way most of these mid life affairs do irl. I'm still betting money that his ex wife is gonna snap and do something bad to one or both of them.
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Mar 11, 2020 14:58
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Ok get divorced fine, but did the guy actually leave his kids like a goddamn deadbeat?
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Mar 11, 2020 15:00
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SniperWoreConverse posted:Ok get divorced fine, but did the guy actually leave his kids like a goddamn deadbeat? He lives with his new girlfriend and the wife and the kids are still in the same house yes that’s why it was loving awful and a terrible story that did not make me feel good at all and I hated every single time that he posted. That kid is gonna grow up and think of woman as disposable and replaceable and I don’t even want to think about what the poor mother is going through or how she might end up taking it out on the kid. gently caress that dude
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Mar 11, 2020 15:17
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I mean, he technically didn't dispose of his old wife. She's still there and hopefully dating if she want to. "Mommy and Daddy don't gently caress anymore, but we're still both here for you" sounds preferable to the standard nuclear family divorce that I got as a kid.
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Mar 12, 2020 12:01
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“My dad cheated on my mother for months, and even brought his mistress over for dinner a couple of times, before eventually abandoning us to live with her” is basically how the guy from Fight Club describes their dad at the beginning of the movie. It’s a bad model that teaches him not to respect women, and that being dishonest and sneaking around has no consequences, IMHO E: I agree that it’s better to split up than to stay together, and I’m not a parent, but I am speaking from the perspective of being a divorcee, as well as both a CheatER and a CheatEE Bust Rodd fucked around with this message at 15:18 on Mar 12, 2020 |
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Mar 12, 2020 15:15
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quote:I apologize if this is terrible writing. You are of course aware that in this modern utopia it is in fact quite possible to obtain access to objects that are very much like penises in every way except that they are not attached to men Like, if you are interested in dicks but you don't like dudes, just buy yourself a dick and go to town on it whenever you want, you don't even have to make hotel dates with random Internet people that way I don't know you beyond this confession, I don't know if that'll be enough to satisfy you longterm, but it's a perfectly logical next step quote:I had my gallbladder removed a few years back and ever since then my bowels have become... unpredictable. This Sunday I had a nice american breakfast and a few hot coffees and went to take a shower. My stomach felt a little off, but I am used to it and didn't think it was serious. I got into the shower and was facing the water and wetting down my hair when I sneezed, unpredictably and hard. The force of the sneeze caused me to spontaneously poo poo myself. I was like "at least it was in the bathtub" until I read the part about various soaps and shampoos Still probably one of the better places it could have happened though, imagine if that happened, like, in bed I don't understand anyone's morning routine not involving taking a poo poo before showering honestly
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Mar 12, 2020 15:22
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A hurried and still probably hasty cleaning job, reminds me of the particularly bad hangover experience.
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Mar 12, 2020 15:23
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loquacius posted:
For me, I just need to move around a bit to get things going so yeah, for me, shower, go to work, then poo poo at work.
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Mar 12, 2020 21:00
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loquacius posted:
First thing I thought of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt7hIk_jZww
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Mar 12, 2020 21:19
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I'm parachuting in to say that I love this thread and I hope there are a lot of really strange feshes coming in thanks to people going down weird rabbit holes while self isolating. Reading about people's strange habits, bizarre personal tastes, and fool plans that backfired terribly is an excellent way to keep your mind off of the whole situation we're in right now.
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Mar 24, 2020 15:26
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It really is the best thread on the forums. We had to hide it once to keep Lowtax from closing it down for awhile. It was hidden in the frontpage forum. Man, this thread has been through some fun times.
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Mar 24, 2020 20:09
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Yep, it's a good one.
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Mar 25, 2020 06:02
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Same here. We all know it's 99% fiction but who gives a gently caress it's entertaining as hell.
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Mar 25, 2020 18:13
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There is still content, sorry about my sadbrains everyonequote:I've started sleeping with a married woman. Before everyone completely jumps down my throat about this I want to say that they're splitting up, but are doing it in kind of a weird way where they're opening up the marriage first. My problem is that I'm head over heals in love with this woman. Have been for years. No one's ever known because I've never said anything, but this past weekend she mentioned she has had a huge crush on me and I just kind of made the move. We had a lot of fun and were laughing and joking and just having really fun pent up frustration sex. This sounds like it's out of a 2000s sitcom or something Honestly I was thinking shoot your shot until I heard about the other guy who just did that but come to think of it maybe by the time I'm actually posting this enough time has passed that you can anyway At any rate the main lesson here is don't open your relationship and don't poo poo where you eat, but that's a lesson for HER not YOU. I dunno man, poo poo or get off the pot quote:Sometimes I wish I were less attractive. I've never done Tinder dating (met my wife in college etc etc etc) but as I understand it sending nudes is like part of that culture, or like part of part of it or something??? Maybe I got entirely the wrong idea there but at any rate there's def a time and place for it You can, and should, try to maintain an online presence that doesn't involve pictures of you, it sounds like that's for the best
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Mar 25, 2020 23:14
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Not sending dick pics and in general not being a creep has worked out great for me on Tinder. Also dude with married woman just let it ride and don't bring it up unless she does. Or just end it.
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Mar 26, 2020 03:41
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SniperWoreConverse posted:Ok get divorced fine, but did the guy actually leave his kids like a goddamn deadbeat? Oddly, the dude said that his relationship to his kids got stronger since he was still doing the same stuff before he started sleeping with his coworker. Bust Rodd is right that the guy is still a giant turd who is setting a really bad example for his sons.
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Mar 26, 2020 04:25
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I think one of his sons had a crush on his mistress as well.
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Mar 26, 2020 04:35
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Solice Kirsk posted:I think one of his sons had a crush on his mistress as well. lol that has to be a trash fire by now.
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Mar 26, 2020 12:03
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Too pretty for the internet confessor: don’t worry, it’s not your unreal beauty. It’s just that stalkers gotta stalk. You may be sending off more victim vibes than most, I don’t know.
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Mar 26, 2020 12:08
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