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zoux
Apr 28, 2006

https://twitter.com/rebeccaballhaus/status/1237435426090123266

S...sex dust?

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chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/teaandrobots/status/1237401769669537793

got some chores tonight
Feb 18, 2012

honk honk whats for lunch...
Moon Juice is the resource for plant-sourced alchemy to nourish and elevate body, beauty and consciousness. We celebrate the unadulterated, exquisite flavors and healing force of raw vegetables, fruits, petals, herbs, roots, nuts and seaweeds as daily nourishment, beauty tools and high-powered natural remedies.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

https://twitter.com/briannachesser/status/1237272655327145984?s=21

My cocaine doesn’t kill the virus shirt has a lot of people asking questions already answered by my shirt

Funzo
Dec 6, 2002




For the record, there are no other kinds of swans.

Yngwie Mangosteen
Aug 23, 2007

christmas boots posted:

https://twitter.com/briannachesser/status/1237272655327145984?s=21

My cocaine doesn’t kill the virus shirt has a lot of people asking questions already answered by my shirt

I thought the us posting was in response to that fake mermaid documentary?

Cocaine Bear
Nov 4, 2011

ACAB

What percentage of yanks believe in angels?

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

Cocaine Bear posted:

What percentage of yanks believe in angels?

Same percentage of brits that believe in ghosts

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


zoux posted:

Same percentage of swedes that believe in elves

projecthalaxy
Dec 27, 2008

Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son


Significantly less than the percentage of Icelandic people who believe in elves

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009
https://twitter.com/cspamus1/status/1237485802851991552?s=21

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

projecthalaxy posted:

Significantly less than the percentage of Icelandic people who believe in elves

Hidden people are way more awesome than the USA's elf on a shelf style.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

You can tell he's a pretender to the Hapsburg name, his eyes are in the right sockets and his jaw doesn't look like a misshapen anvil.

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009
https://twitter.com/tomgara/status/1237508703508627457?s=21

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin
wow

https://twitter.com/tomgara/status/1079835782532087808?s=19

That sure is a thing

Riot Carol Danvers
Jul 30, 2004

It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.
Well the Caesars buffet had elk Sliders during brunch, so

Mauser
Dec 16, 2003

How did I even get here, son?!

best response just below

https://twitter.com/andrewbloomberg/status/1237509184691654656

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


https://twitter.com/RATM/status/1237036386886303744

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014


https://twitter.com/TadashiJobimM/status/1237330524131090434

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
https://twitter.com/Relicmouth/status/1237546693161136135

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

People are looking at me weirdly because I just cracked up laughing, quietly saying "I don't understand why this is so funny"

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

Memento posted:

People are looking at me weirdly because I just cracked up laughing, quietly saying "I don't understand why this is so funny"

It's funny because it's the same face you would be making if you went on a hard catnip binge.

Zipperelli.
Apr 3, 2011



Nap Ghost

Inceltown posted:

It's funny because it's the same face you would be making if you went on a hard catnip binge.

Stupid question, what is catnip? Is it naturally occurring? And what the hell is happening to cats who get some? Are they tripping balls orrrrrr?

Yngwie Mangosteen
Aug 23, 2007
Catnip is a plant that has a drug-like effect on cats. Like marijuana or opium for humans. They get euphoric and silly or just seem real stoned and seem to enjoy it.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

It's a member of the mint family (like Basil) and is extremely easy to grow (assuming you're not trying to grow it indoors within reach of a cat) and while it has a euphoric effect on kitties, several studies have shown that it has no addictive qualities in cats.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

Elviscat posted:

It's a member of the mint family (like Basil) and is extremely easy to grow (assuming you're not trying to grow it indoors within reach of a cat) and while it has a euphoric effect on kitties, several studies have shown that it has no addictive qualities in cats.

I now have a new career goal: the person who studies the effects of catnip on cats.

Zipperelli.
Apr 3, 2011



Nap Ghost
Huh. Interesting. Today I learned.

Mak0rz
Aug 2, 2008

😎🐗🚬

It contains nepetelactone, a chemical that mimics felid pheromones. I don't know if cats necessarily get "stoned" but the stuff attracts them and gets them real excited and drooly.

Like many other aromatic plant compounds it's probably meant to function as a pest insect repellant/poison.

Mak0rz has a new favorite as of 05:50 on Mar 11, 2020

LifeLynx
Feb 27, 2001

Dang so this is like looking over his shoulder in real-time
Grimey Drawer
Certain kinds of olives have the same effect on cats. It's weird. Also my first two cats were immune to catnip, which is apparently not uncommon.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Memento posted:

I now have a new career goal: the person who studies the effects of catnip on cats.

I felt the same way, until one day I read an article in a women's health magazine written by a "breast motion expert"

That day I changed the focus of my PHD.

crepeface
Nov 5, 2004

r*p*f*c*
https://twitter.com/NewYorkerEvaBot/status/1237085110471659520?s=20

hallelujah
Jan 26, 2020

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
https://twitter.com/MattClancy94/status/1237547847563657216

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019


:blessed:

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

https://twitter.com/meganamram/status/1237440523327045632

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin
https://twitter.com/WylieCable/status/1236719875776581633

sound

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

https://twitter.com/ikasliwal/status/1237155837639938048

Alan Smithee
Jan 4, 2005


A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Goddamn

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

Coronoviruses are RNA I'm afraid.


https://twitter.com/jennafranke/status/1237493419510919168?s=21

https://twitter.com/tedcruz/status/1237727370360037379

Ugh goddamnit this is a good joke.

zoux has a new favorite as of 16:15 on Mar 11, 2020

MizPiz
May 29, 2013

by Athanatos
https://twitter.com/swanofthedab/status/1237557802450608130?s=19

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Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Really Good Joke

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