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https://twitter.com/alketrolyat/status/1229205570953060352?s=21
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Feb 17, 2020 06:00
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| # ? May 17, 2024 19:27 |
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I've lost a lot of weight recently and had my kids this weekend. My daughter was giving me a hug and said "I don't want you to lose anymore weight cause I like resting my head on your big soft belly"
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Feb 17, 2020 23:42
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Usually when my daughter, who is 3, is up to no good, I'll grab her arm and tell her no. It's gentle and gets the point across, and she understands it pretty well. The other day, she wouldn't stay out of the pantry, and I kept getting after her to stay outta there. At one point, I told her to get outta the pantry, or it was gonna be timeout time. She walked over to me, grabbed my arm and looked me dead in the eyes and said, "No." And went about her merry way.
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Feb 18, 2020 02:50
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Leavemywife posted:Usually when my daughter, who is 3, is up to no good, I'll grab her arm and tell her no. It's gentle and gets the point across, and she understands it pretty well. The other day, she wouldn't stay out of the pantry, and I kept getting after her to stay outta there. 
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Feb 18, 2020 09:10
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Leavemywife posted:Usually when my daughter, who is 3, is up to no good, I'll grab her arm and tell her no. It's gentle and gets the point across, and she understands it pretty well. The other day, she wouldn't stay out of the pantry, and I kept getting after her to stay outta there. The other day my daughter was trying to climb up on the counter and I told her "No! That is not safe and you're making poor choices. You need to get down." She walks over to me, puts her hand on her hip, cocks her head to the side and says *WHAT did you just say to me??" 
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Feb 18, 2020 13:19
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Reminds me of this little girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN8rL0TsmSE
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Feb 18, 2020 18:26
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BigBallChunkyTime posted:The other day my daughter was trying to climb up on the counter and I told her "No! That is not safe and you're making poor choices. You need to get down." My daughter said something similar to me this last weekend and I go “excuse me, what did you just sat to ME?” And she says “nothing, i know not to talk to grownups that way”
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Feb 18, 2020 19:01
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My kid has sleeping problems that we're trying to get through, involving doctors and more home remedies than you can shake a stick at. Every night, she gets up for a while, anywhere from an hour, up to six. I usually get up with her, so my wife can sleep, and then I get to sleep in for a while. The other night, we got up, and we're heading out to the couch, our usual hangout spot. I'm carrying her out, saying, "Come on, it's time to go night-night." She puts her hand on my shoulder and looks at me, saying, "I know, I know, I know."
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Feb 18, 2020 21:25
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I guess she's as exasperated with the situation as you are.
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Feb 18, 2020 22:07
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omnibobb posted:I've lost a lot of weight recently and had my kids this weekend.
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Feb 19, 2020 02:51
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This one's legitimately funny: https://twitter.com/KidsWriteJokes/status/1233799480551657472
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Feb 29, 2020 19:05
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My son, this morning: "It smells like bugs in here!"
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Mar 5, 2020 16:35
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“Mr Fast Cars I think my brother pooped in my pants” *holding a triceratops toy* Me: “what kind of dinosaur is this?” Kid: “I dunno a trapezoid?”
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Mar 5, 2020 21:14
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Update on the 1 year-old: still says dick, instead of kick, instead of ball. His favorite word is "kittycat," which he uses to refer to cats, but also just says sometimes when he's happy about something. He was really excited about a ball the other day, and that translated to: "KITTYCAT! Dick dick... dick..." Life is ridiculous.
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Mar 5, 2020 23:12
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Just remembered this one. My parents both were in healthcare (now retired) so at times their reactions to our health could be considered too pragmatic: One time my sister scraped her knee and was crying & mom was trying to comfort her but she was like  "You just blow on it like it helps any! All my friends have been to the emergency room and have had casts and everything!"I think she got a bandaid for that lol
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Mar 6, 2020 21:00
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Having healthcare parents really is a trip. Like my father has a picture book about interesting diseases that he just nonchalantly gave to my sister to read when she was a kid.
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Mar 6, 2020 21:03
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Yeah my favorite book was one with super detailed skeletal anatomy  also in the drawer with all the cartoon vhs tapes they recorded off tv, there was a tape with like sex ed for school kids aged 12 (this was when i was 10, as the oldest of 4). the cartoons were fine (one of them ive later learned was "Where Did I Come From" from 1985) but it also had a live birth with the baby crowning & all so we siblings mostly used that tape to prank each other by pretending to put on a cartoon. Carthag Tuek has a new favorite as of 00:45 on Mar 7, 2020 |
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Mar 7, 2020 00:43
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Hanging out with one of my 3-year-old students M: Miss Apples why is your tummy so big? Me: (deep breath, about to talk about how all bodies are different, etc) M: (stroking my stomach) Why is it so lovely? ...
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Mar 15, 2020 02:03
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My daughter got some fake glasses and she goes "Daddy, now we are both big nerds who are bad at looking at things!"
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Mar 17, 2020 00:13
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omnibobb posted:My daughter got some fake glasses and she goes "Daddy, now we are both big nerds who are bad at looking at things!" I love this thread and a lot of people here have great stories but yours always make me
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Mar 17, 2020 04:38
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Target 11:28pm 2yo girl: Corona VI-rus! Corona VI-rus!
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Mar 17, 2020 07:47
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Beachcomber posted:Target 11:28pm She knows what'll save her.
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Mar 17, 2020 07:50
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AlbieQuirky posted:I love this thread and a lot of people here have great stories but yours always make me Thanks. She's a sweetheart who is always thinking about others and wants to share everything she has. There's a group of about 5 people here at work who always get excited when I have her and her brother for the weekend to see what she does.
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Mar 17, 2020 19:48
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Beachcomber posted:Target 11:28pm My 11-year-old a few weeks ago in the waiting room at the doctor's office "I have Coronavirus!" He was playing some stupid life simulation game on my phone and his character got the disease. This was right as it was starting to come into the American public consciousness, but before everything got cancelled. We got some looks.
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Mar 17, 2020 20:23
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Beachcomber posted:Target 11:28pm
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Mar 17, 2020 20:27
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My nephew is learning about venn diagrams.
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Mar 17, 2020 20:27
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Pastry of the Year posted:My nephew is learning about venn diagrams. Kid's got a pretty good handle on it.
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Mar 17, 2020 20:53
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I'm not sure which one I like more - the Snow Tropers or the Sormtroppers.
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Mar 17, 2020 20:58
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Pastry of the Year posted:My nephew is learning about venn diagrams. SMH that he doesn't think Hoth has a prittey veiw.
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Mar 17, 2020 20:58
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Nah, the kid's right. Hoth sucks.
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Mar 17, 2020 21:45
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Cardiovorax posted:I'm not sure which one I like more - the Snow Tropers or the Sormtroppers. I read that as "Show Troopers" and imagined quite the chorus line, let me tell you.
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Mar 17, 2020 23:10
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Well, they currently are working on a Star Wars musical, last I heard, so that may yet become a reality.
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Mar 17, 2020 23:19
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PizzaProwler posted:Nah, the kid's right. Hoth sucks. It's got a pretty dope beat, at least. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRAOdRq-1lw edit: and a sick breakdown
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Mar 17, 2020 23:24
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Cardiovorax posted:Well, they currently are working on a Star Wars musical, last I heard, so that may yet become a reality. Again??!?! Nobody liked the first one!
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Mar 18, 2020 11:04
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My cousin's daughter, barely a year old, patting my belly: "FAT!"
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Mar 18, 2020 11:09
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Again??!?! Nobody liked the first one!  Also, nice to see you still around.
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Mar 18, 2020 11:54
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Cardiovorax posted:Why the surprise? That's what people said after the second trilogy, but they haven't let that stop them from making yet another one either. WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE SECOND TRILOGY. (Thanks! I no longer teach; suck half into curriculum design and into half writing a video game, so sadly not much to contribute. I DID find a bunch of comic strips my kids in Korea made, which I've dragged around the planet for a couple years now- might take advantage of this lockdown bullshit and post those.)
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Mar 18, 2020 12:35
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4 year old daughter: "Daddy, will you play babies with me?" Me: "Sure, honey." Daughter: (hands me a baby) "This baby is dead." Me: 
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Mar 19, 2020 14:37
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 My son (like most kids) loved to use big boxes as forts and stuff. I remember he once climbed into one and chilled for a bit, then sticks his head up for a minute and said, "Papa, you better tape this closed really good so I don't run away and escape IN THE NIGHT?" Phrasing it as a question just made it 10x more hilarious.
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Mar 19, 2020 16:04
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| # ? May 17, 2024 19:27 |
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BigBallChunkyTime posted:4 year old daughter: "Daddy, will you play babies with me?" lmao, just heard from my friend that his sons were playing & asked him "let's play house!" My friend: "but mom isn't home, who'll be mom?" Younger son: "We can just say there isn't any mom because she was shot — in Africa!" 
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Mar 19, 2020 16:27
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