Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

YerDa Zabam: Aug 13, 2016

Shaocaholica posted:

How do you know if you have corona if yet get really bad runs? Other than waiting 9 days and dying or whatever.

You don't know sorry. Unless you live somewhere that they test, but with one low likelihood symptom they'd probably not anyway
Check how many other symptoms you have, the shits is like 10th on the list.
(You are probably fine)

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:20

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# ? May 25, 2024 17:17

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Lazyhound posted:

Grocery stores across Canada are providing catastrophe pay and plexiglass shielding for their workers.

i was at a grocery store today and they have added a security guard to the entrance

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:22

Spacegrass: May 1, 2013

Armageddon builds a newborn dimension
for kings and angel slaves

This sun wakened
your time has come
total destruction
armageddon!!!!

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:41

Rolo: Nov 16, 2005; Hmm, what have we here?

Me reading this entire thread

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:45

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Nobody in the UK appears to be taking a slightest bit of notice of the government's plea to practice social distancing - The parks and beaches are full of people drinking booze because they're no longer allowed to sit in the pub all day.

loving idiots.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:45

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

Dell_Zincht posted:

Nobody in the UK appears to be taking a slightest bit of notice of the government's plea to practice social distancing - The parks and beaches are full of people drinking booze because they're no longer allowed to sit in the pub all day.

loving idiots.

It's fine, bad things only happen to other people.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:46

Mulaney Power Move: Dec 30, 2004

I took a peek at the D&D thread and it is just about as calm and rational as you would expect:

quote:

So how long do you think we have before these "voluntary" lockdowns become enforced ones? Because it's becoming increasingly clear this wishy-washy "kindly stay home if it's not too much trouble butitsokayifyoudontidontreallymind" poo poo is going to kill us exactly as fast disease-wise as if we had done nothing, with the bonus of probably driving up the domestic murder and suicide rate in the very short term. People, on the the whole, do not in fact freely choose to band together in times of adversity, we tear each other apart and suck the marrow dry to just to buy ourselves a few more desperate hours.

Authoritarian regimes are gonna come out of this smelling like roses while liberal democracies drown in their own lung fluids.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:47

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Minnesota Manatee posted:

This big boring crosspost is coming out of Minneapolis, Minnesota. Yesterday I had an eight hour shift bagging and taking out groceries, and I don't think I'm cut out for this stress. By the end of my shift I was more animated and emotional than I normally get, ranting with my coworkers and saying that I was going to put in my two weeks notice. I'm not sure how much I was overreacting. Throughout my shift my danger sense was telling me that things were very wrong. I'd mostly been away from work for the past two weeks and I guess I was expecting a lot more being done about the virus when I got back.

My store has given employees a "temporary" two dollar raise, increased overtime pay, set aside time for the elderly in the morning, and everyone is wearing gloves with cashiers and baggers being told to change them between every customer (but I see not everyone actually is). However, they've barely done any real communication or education about what's going on with their employees. For example, I know about my raise because I read it in the newspaper but yesterday one of my coworkers didn't even know he had gotten it. I have coworkers who think that this is going to be over in two weeks. They have no clue about the kind of danger they are in.

I asked a supervisor if they had changed their sick policy at all and no, they haven't. In that policy we're supposed to tell our supervisor if we have a fever or diarrhea but not everyone with this virus gets those symptoms. We haven't been educated at all about what symptoms we should be looking out for. I had to ask a supervisor what if somebody's housemate is suspected to have it and there is no direction about staying home. With the current policy we need a doctor's note to excuse any prolonged absence, and no one has enough PTO to miss weeks of work.

Is it too much to ask to want them to stop selling immunosuppressants? We still have the liquor store open, with no precautions like spacing out customers. There's none of that going on inside the main grocery store either. By now they should have marks on the floor for spacing out customers in lines. By one of the timeclocks, though not both, there's a paper taped that recommends keeping six feet apart from people. Cashiers and baggers are standing right next to each other with customers like three feet in front of us. Unlike some other stores there also doesn't seem to be any policy in place about only letting in a certain amount of customers at a time, and we have no barrier in between cashier and customer. We haven't stopped accepting re-usable bags. My store closed down its cafe area where people sit and eat, but since that was where most employees took their break now the breakroom is packed elbow to elbow at times. I also heard about another grocery store that was having its employees wear masks but my understanding of non-n95 masks is that they aren't actually helpful.

This all struck me as a disaster in the making. My current plan is to hold off on putting in my two weeks notice, instead I'll send an email with my concerns to a manager on the store safety committee and see how that goes. Maybe I will be reassured, but I had enough problems with anxiety before COVID-19 got involved. I might just not have it in me. I feel like a deserter.

if you lived in Ontario you are legally entitled to refuse work that you believe to be unsafe or hazardous. do not put in your two weeks notice and just let them get away with it. tell your manager that you refuse to do unsafe work and you will not be coming in. if they fire you you can report them to the labour board

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:49

mossyfisk: Nov 8, 2010; FF0000

Got a friend who manages a national heritage site that was shut down.

Now self-isolating in an empty castle.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:49

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

I went to grocery yesterday because I forgot I needed a supply of distilled water for my cpap.

Things (in Reno) actually seem to be better stocked than 4-7 days ago. Either the hoarders have gotten enough and trailed off some or the supply chain has ramped up a bit and is coping well or it might just be because all the stores have initiated one or two per customer rule on all the in demand items stymieing the hoarders.

We've got a 20 cf upright freezer and a 30 cf fridge. They're both normally pretty full but now they're definitely full. And we normally have a well stocked pantry but now have a very well stocked pantry. I figure without warning we could normally go at least 30 days without groceries but now it's probably 60 days or maybe even 90 if we push it and don't mind living on beans and rice for a month.

Previous time I went to the grocery (when things actually were pretty depleted) I only bought stuff people didn't seem to want which was:
1. Dave's killer bread, thin sliced. Expensive plus people apparently hate thin sliced bread because all the regular Dave's was gone despite also being expensive.
2. Real expensive butter I don't know why it was so expensive but it was like 8 bucks a loving pound.
3. Real expensive small packages of green beans and almond slices.
4. Canned Asian vegetables (bamboo shoots, water chestnuts, mini corns, I will buy this poo poo all day long because I love making fried rice).

There was one lady Friday trying to buy an entire huge cart full of paper towels. They told her to gently caress off but she apparently had some excuse, I didn't hear what the excuse was but I heard the employee say "I'll have to check with my manager" but I don't think the excuse worked because I later saw the lady with only one package of paper towels in her cart. I'm guessing the excuse was "I work for a nursing home" or "I work for a restaurant" or "I work for the hospital" and I would also guess 100% of the people trying that are lying.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:50

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

Mozi posted:

as it was, as it is, and as it shall be forevermore - taiwan #1

As someone in Taiwan though all this poo poo and living a nice normal life with no dumb shortages or hoarding or fear lemme tell ya:

Taiwan

#1

Forever

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:50

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

People are loving LIVID here in Australia because there's all these rumours going around that busloads of city folk are driving out to country towns to raid their supermarkets and buy up all their toilet paper and hand sanitizer. People are starting to confront strangers in supermarkets and one manager hired security guards to check IDs at the door and there's been a whole bunch of newspaper articles. There's lots of chatter happening on social media as well, usually with a bit of the ol' racism thrown in for good measure (the out-of-towners are often described as being Asian in appearance). The Minster for Home Affairs, Peter Dutton, also had a rant about gangs of people buying up toilet paper and essential supplies so they can sell them overseas.

People in Australia are REAL REAL angry about 'foreigners' grabbing all their toilet paper

Edit: the prime minister had to go on TV and make a speech about how hoarding toilet paper was "Un-Australian" to try and stop people from doing it, no one paid any attention

Rupert Murdoch newspapers: "PAPE GANGS ROAMING OZ MAD MAX STYLE"

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:51

Redgrendel2001: Sep 1, 2006; you literally think a person saying their NBA team of choice being better than the fucking 76ers is a 'schtick'

a literal thing you think.

https://twitter.com/JChengWSJ/status/1241613478218981376?s=19

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:52

Tei: Feb 19, 2011

Dell_Zincht posted:

Nobody in the UK appears to be taking a slightest bit of notice of the government's plea to practice social distancing - The parks and beaches are full of people drinking booze because they're no longer allowed to sit in the pub all day.

loving idiots.

Bridge of death - Chernobyl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPpFw_xxYoc

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:53

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/residents-stunned-see-herds-people-17961103

UK Govt: Practice social distancing, stay at home if possible, going for a walk is okay

Idiotic Yorkshire peoples: Let's all congregate at the most popular walking spot in the area

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:54

sure okay: Apr 7, 2006

mossyfisk posted:

Got a friend who manages a national heritage site that was shut down.

Now self-isolating in an empty castle.

This is my nightmare.

Castles are TERRIBLE

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:54

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

had a dream I had to embalm someone because all the morticians died to the Coronavirus

it's harder than it looks

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:56

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

TheAardvark posted:

had a dream I had to embalm someone because all the morticians died to the Coronavirus

it's harder than it looks

If it gets that bad we just burn them all.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:59

i am harry: Oct 14, 2003

teardrop posted:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/22/business/coronavirus-beans-sales.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

im glad the bean man isnt lonely anymore

Is this a story about that idiot who makes $8 bags of bespoke beans?

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:02

Hyzenth1ay: Oct 24, 2008

A Bakers Cousin posted:

Sorry we beat you 2 days ago Burt. Good luck though.

gently caress. Condolences.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:03

Im Ready for DEATH: Oct 5, 2016

poverty goat posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/hrmoroz/status/1241025578527903750

now there's a meme i've never seen!

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:04

Z the IVth: Jan 28, 2009; The trouble with your "expendable machines"; Fun Shoe

Dell_Zincht posted:

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/residents-stunned-see-herds-people-17961103

UK Govt: Practice social distancing, stay at home if possible, going for a walk is okay

Idiotic Yorkshire peoples: Let's all congregate at the most popular walking spot in the area

Brits voted for Brexit and the Tories (again). Are you the least bit surprised?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:04

YerDa Zabam: Aug 13, 2016

Dell_Zincht posted:

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/residents-stunned-see-herds-people-17961103

UK Govt: Practice social distancing, stay at home if possible, going for a walk is okay

Idiotic Yorkshire peoples: Let's all congregate at the most popular walking spot in the area

There's also been stories of camper vans getting turned away in the highlands, desperate sadoes in loving Skegnes of all places, and hordes descending on Brighton

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:04

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

Z the IVth posted:

Brits voted for Brexit and the Tories (again). Are you the least bit surprised?

Soon they will brexit from this mortal coil.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:05

owlhawk911: Nov 8, 2019; come chill with me, in byob

TheAardvark posted:

had a dream I had to embalm someone because all the morticians died to the Coronavirus

it's harder than it looks

i had a dream i ran a secret cemetery, concealing the dead so that we could keep collecting their fema rations

born in a quarantine, raised in the grave
scavving and looting are all that i crave

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:07

Funk In Shoe: Apr 20, 2008; Waiting in line, Mr. Haydon told me it is a wheel not meant for lovers but for infants, lifting people and letting them swing, putting the world on display from up high

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

show bobs and vaccine

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:08

Mumbling: Feb 7, 2015

�Please stop having in-depth conversations with strangers� I internally plead to everyone in this long rear end grocery line.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:18

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Mumbling posted:

�Please stop having in-depth conversations with strangers� I internally plead to everyone in this long rear end grocery line.

I hope you're all standing 6 feet apart!

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:21

MageMage: Feb 11, 2007; I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

March 16: Couple buys entire meat section of B.C. grocery store, leaves nothing (VIDEO)

March 21: B.C. couple who bought entire store's meat section says they're living in fear now

When this is all over please remember this level of disgust and anger at the human capitalists who buy up all the houses in your community and all the medicine in your hospital.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:21

Zugzwang: Jan 2, 2005; You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.; Ramrod XTreme

Given the high proportion of people needing hospitalization + our total lack of preparedness/PPE within the healthcare system, this loving thing is like Stuxnet, except it targets healthcare workers instead of Iranian uranium centrifuges.

poverty goat posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/hrmoroz/status/1241025578527903750

Yeah but if tons of people cough in the same rich person's face, you won't know who was the positive case. We need to have coordinated, semi-overlapping pools of people cough into specific rich people's faces, the same way they do pooled testing for BBPs in the plasma industry.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:23

Mumbling: Feb 7, 2015

Dell_Zincht posted:

I hope you're all standing 6 feet apart!

I have to stand diagonally to get enough distance from both people in front and behind me.

The strangers in front of me went from spacing apart to standing next to each other as the discussion gets deeper. Good for them.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:28

coronavirus: Jan 27, 2020; by Cyrano4747

Lodin posted:

Lol, cops in Oslo are asking for face masks and hand sanitiser from the public. Get hosed!

I can't even imagine living in quite the fantasy land where you are really mad at the mass oppression and violence of Norwegian cops. Holy poo poo, they might be like the top 1% of non-corrupt and non-violent compared to everywhere else in the world.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:29

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Mumbling posted:

I have to stand diagonally to get enough distance from both people in front and behind me.

The strangers in front of me went from spacing apart to standing next to each other as the discussion gets deeper. Good for them.

Sorry you're all going to die, I guess

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:29

mrfart: May 26, 2004; Dear diary, today I
became a captain.

MageMage posted:

When this is all over please remember this level of disgust and anger at the human capitalists who buy up all the houses in your community and all the medicine in your hospital.

I hope so. But it didn�t work after 2008. The us voted some real estate prick into office. And I can already see them doing it again.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:29

Shaocaholica: Oct 29, 2002; Fig. 5E

Like I mentioned earlier a lot of people don�t develop a cough they get the runs. So you�ll have to somehow get your stool into a rich persons butt or hands.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:31

Mumbling: Feb 7, 2015

Dell_Zincht posted:

Sorry you're all going to die, I guess

Nah, it�s cool. I�m going to get a pack of tissue paper and a bag of rice so I�ll die wealthy by the standards of this new world.

Wait, a guy just passed by with two full carts of bread. Maybe that�s the new gold.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:33

EL BROMANCE: Jun 10, 2006; COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬

Cuomos presser on at the moment has been excelllent, again. Guy really knows how to talk to his state during these times. Concise info, also being summed up with a PowerPoint next to him.

In the era of Trumps godawful back patting ceremonies, thank god we have someone doing a good job and calling people out as needed. I don�t even live in NY and I feel like I benefit from this.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:34

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Shaocaholica posted:

So you�ll have to somehow get your stool into a rich persons hands.

i dont see any downside to this

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:34

Charliegrs: Aug 10, 2009

So this pandemic is probably going to put the US health insurance companies into bankruptcy eventually right? I can't wait to see our tax money go to bailout these companies as if they don't take enough of our money already.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:36

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# ? May 25, 2024 17:17

Earwicker: Jan 6, 2003

EL BROMANCE posted:

Cuomos presser on at the moment has been excelllent, again. Guy really knows how to talk to his state during these times. Concise info, also being summed up with a PowerPoint next to him.

In the era of Trumps godawful back patting ceremonies, thank god we have someone doing a good job and calling people out as needed. I don�t even live in NY and I feel like I benefit from this.

yeah, i didnt like gavin newsom very much when he was mayor of san francisco but he's doing a good job with this

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:38

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